When you miss an important anniversary....

Sometime in the last week, I realized that I had completely missed one of the biggest anniversary dates of my life.  I can tell you exactly when this picture was taken.  I remember that evening with clarity.  Ken and I had come from our first ever (and only) closing on the purchase of our new home. We moved in two days later.  My parents had taken us out to dinner to celebrate and my mom snapped this photo of Ken and I.  Our closing had been delayed on our new construction home because of a huge blizzard.  Originally we were supposed to close and move in by January 15th.  The date was continually moved back, due to weather delays.  I can't imagine what we were thinking when we signed the contract to buy our house in October of 1977 and it was a slab in the ground.  Given the weather and general issues that always happen, now I can see that it was a miracle that we were able to get in when we did. 

This is what our house looked like the day we moved in.  The date was February 16, 1978.  That was 45 years ago.  I have lived in this same house for 45 years.  

Here I am standing on the front porch, a couple of months later.  We still didn't have backfill or grass or a sidewalk or a driveway.  But we had a house!  Ken and I were so young back then!  I was 23 and Ken was 25 when we bought our home.   It doesn't seem possible to say, I have lived in the same house for 45 years!!!  I never imagined that I would be one of those people that never moved.  But, here I am.  And I am so grateful for the provision of the Lord of this very house.  Our parents thought that we might be making a mistake to buy this home.  It was in a very small and not well known town and also very "far away" from everything.  As a matter of fact, my dad said it wasn't even really a suburb of Chicago!  And, 45 years ago, I guess that was true.  While the town is still "small-ish" with a population around 15,000, one town that has a shared border with ours is the well known giant of Naperville (population 149,000) and clearly a suburb of Chicago.  So it was a tiny, rural town 45 years ago, it is not that now!  I have never been sorry that we made this purchase. 

Ken had always thought of our house as a "starter" home.  It is small with only 1200 square feet.  We certainly had a few years, when Gwen and Doug were in their teenage years, that our house felt very small.  But it was a short time.  Soon enough, they were out of the house and it was just us again.  Ken's dream home would have had a three car garage and a basement.  It would have not had an HOA to deal with.  I suppose there were times that I thought about how it might have been good to move.  But financially, it just wasn't possible for us.  We had chosen to refinance our mortgage several times to pay off medical debt and also to shorten the term of our mortgage.  When our mortgage was finally paid off, we took an equity loan to upgrade siding, windows, doors, floors and roof.  I can't tell you the peace of mind that I have now, as a widow, to live in a relatively upgraded home, without any debt.  I am thankful for this every single day.  

I suppose that some would say that I have a much bigger house than is necessary for me right now.  But these walls are home.  And more than that, I couldn't live anywhere else as ecomonically  as I can right here.  I know that there will be a time in the future when it will make sense for me to move.  But, right now, that is not the case. 

I have written about the clearing out that has happened since Ken has died. Ken had found ways to fill up every space (A very overstuffed garage and two storage sheds plus two attics and two closets).  With my kids help, we have mostly taken care of all of that.   I can now park in my clear garage. My attics are empty.  Most of my closets are pretty clear.  I have very little clutter around and try to get rid of more than I acquire.  It is certainly an ongoing process.  But getting rid of "stuff" has also brought me a wonderful feeling of freedom.   So, thankfully, I can say that I do not have 45 years of junk in this house.  I think this is one benefit of living in a small square footage home. 

So, if you have been seeing people suggest clearing out your home of "stuff", I strongly urge you to consider doing this.  It doesn't matter how old you are.  If you live in the United States, you most likely have too many things.  There are so many ways to accomplish this.   Some people are doing a space at a time.  Some do a bag at a time.  Some people choose a specific thing to downsize - like a book or DVD collection.  Do you really need to hang on to boxes for things that you may not even use anymore?  Or that may already be thrown out?    Having fewer things to take care, to clean, to move from place to place will give you more than just physical space.  It will give you mental and spiritual space as well.  

Many of my friends are now facing clearing out their parents belongings after their death.  This is never fun and never something that you want to do.  Take my word for it, your kids will not want your silver, your fine china or your matched glassware.  They just will not.   Make sure you give your kids those items that you want them to have NOW!  Let them have a chance to say no to things now, and then you decide what to do with them.  I have taken my own advice and sent a lot of items to the resale shop. And I have more to do.

Over the past few weeks, my Pastor has been preaching about Jesus'  "Last Will and Testament" from John chapter 14.  There has been a challenge to think about not just the "stuff" - the monetary amount- that we leave our families when we die, but also the WORDS we leave.  What do we want to give, as an inheritance to our children and grandchildren.  What do we want to leave to our future generations.  I don't think I have ever thought about this.  So, in the next weeks and months, I am going to be putting on paper a Spiritual "Last Will and Testament" for my family.  

Ending this "Anniversary memory" blog, asking you to consider clearing out your living space of stuff so ultimatly someone else doesn't have to do it.  And asking you to join me on the path of considering exactly what kinds of words of encouragement we leave for our loved ones.  Both of these things will help us have peace and calm in the future.  A fitting gift for a 45th anniversary.

Jesus, thank you for providing exactly what we need.  Your plans and purposes for us are far beyond what we could ever think or imagine.  Holy Spirit, keep our hearts thankful, even when we don't fully understand.  Give us eyes to recognize all the ways we have been held close to you, even when the path hasn't seemed clear.  Give us courage to let go of objects that are weighing us down.  Jesus  help us have hearts to share and give away from the bounty that you have given to us.  Thank you for loving us and drawing us closer to you.  Amen

 

Winter celebrations - January and February birthdays- leaving a Spiritual Legacy!

 Yesterday our family celebrated Grace's sixth birthday with a party at the Ball Factory!  This place was made for fun for those under 12 years old.  Us older folks had fun watching the sliding, ball shooting, climbing and driving fun of all the little ones.  Even Jimmy (and Doug) had fun exploring all of the activities.  

It was so much fun and I am sure that the parents took home some very tired kids.  These winter birthday's make it hard to have large groups in your home, so finding an indoor activity with a party room is surely the way to go!

Anna's birthday is actually January 30th.  It's hard to believe that she is nine years old! Her party was going to be an ice skating party on their lake, but sadly (or gladly depending on your perspective) it has been so warm that the lake was not frozen.  However, there was a week of snow and cold and blowing before her party, which was changed to an indoor roller skating party.  Sadly, I had to miss that party because of the snow/ice conditions that made driving impossible for me.  However - I did get to spend the actual day of her birthday with her!

I also got to be with Grace on her actual birthday - February 1st.  It was a school day for her so I saw her for a few minutes before her bus came. 

 And then I got to stay for dinner and celebrate with Doug, Susie and Jimmy.  So thankful for that time with Grace.

I am so thankful to be able to be with the kids on their special days.  So many of my friends are far away from their children and grandchildren.  Every time I drive away from a time with my family, I am filled with gratitude for the chance I have to be with them.  I really don't take this for granted.

Today I happened to be glancing at my emails and found a notification from Ancestry.com that I had a new "hint" in my family tree.  I only occasionally look at the DNA site, so it had been some time since I checked it out.  The new hint was about my great-great-grandmother with a confirmation about her death date/burial information.  I was so surprised when I looked at it and it was in the County that Doug and Susie actually live in!  In fact, the Lutheran Church and Cemetery is about 45 minutes from my house.  As soon as I can, I will be making a trip to that cemetery to see if I can actually find her grave.  And to add to my fascination with this information, this two times great grandmother of mine is not directly connected to the three times great grandfather of mine, who was buried very close to my current church (about 50 minutes from my house).  My mother never had any idea that so many of her relatives lived and died in the Chicago area.  And I am finding this information all because of a DNA test that I did several years ago.  I wish my mom could have known this information.  She would have been pleased to know that we did have roots in Illinois.  

My current writing project is about the Spiritual Heritage that we have through the prayers and life experiences of our past ancestors.  Both of these long ago ancestors of mine, Martha Larson and Lars Rokne were buried at Lutheran Church graveyards.  Both were members of the Lutheran Church.  Lars Rokne was actually the Music director and teacher at his church.  Sadly, the church and graveyard of his final resting place was torn down/moved in the early 1900's.  He died in 1856.  So I was never able to get any further information or see his grave.  But now I will be able to pay my respects at the grave of my great great grandmother Martha who died in 1904.  It brings reality to the concept of a Spiritual Heritage.  These two people made a choice to keep Jesus as an important part of their life.  And while this may seem like an unusual idea, make it a point to pray for your future generations.  Ask Jesus to continue to bring blessings on your family.  Seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as to how to pray.  Leave a Spiritual legacy that will bless your family in the future.  

At church we are doing a series on the Gospel of John.  Each week Pastor Dave has been unpacking things from each chapter.  Beginning at around chapter 13,  he is calling this the "Last Will and Testament" of Jesus.  The final things that Jesus wanted to leave with his disciples.  Last fall when Pastor Dave announced that he would be preaching on the book of John all through the school year, I was not particularly excited.  If there is any one book of the Bible that I have studied and studied, read and re-read over the years, it is John.   I have done at least three very in-depth Bible studies on that book.  What an eye-opening year this has been for me.  I have learned things every week and have really gone so much deeper into John than I could have imagined.  After today's service I was thinking about learning new things no matter HOW old you are.  I am certainly getting older - but I am also continuing to learn new things.   So thankful for the chance to learn and grow! And so thankful for this Spiritual legacy that Jesus left for us.  

Jesus, thank you for knowing how much we would need your words of direction in our lives.  Thank you for the inspiration that John was given to pen these words so that we have them over two thousand years later.  Holy Spirit, guide our prayers for our friends, our families and our generations.  Give us the words to say to those younger than us, to pass on all that you have done for us.  Help us have courage and boldness to share our testimony and to stand firm under tough circumstances.  Thank you for placing us in families, in churches and in communities that need your light.  Help us shine in the darkness!  Amen

2023 is off to a fast start and a busy few weeks

 I can't believe that it is already the 27th of January!  I really don't know where the last few weeks have gone.  It has been a busy time for me, with activities filling the weeks and thankfully, mostly good weather.  That is, until this week.  So, in typical Chicago fashion, the last week of January and the month of February are often the snowiest for us.  And this year is no different.  So I might be housebound for the next few weeks.  I am so thankful for all of these activities that filled up my January calendar.  To start off the year, my car (which is a 2016) turned over 100,000 miles! While this used to be a big milestone, it seems that cars are now lasting well over that mark and even making it to 200,000!  

So thankful for a car that runs well, is dependable and comfortable to drive.  Especially grateful for the garage and parking inside during these winter months.  

I started off the year, helping arrange a sleepover time for Anna and Grace.  These two cousins have such a neat relationship and it does this grandma's heart good to see them having so much fun together.  After meeting Gwen 1/2 way to pick up Anna, we stopped for a special lunch out.  

I really cherish these one on one times with the grandkids.  They are growing up so fast, and before I know it, these days will just be a distant memory.   I dropped Anna off at Grace's house for a sleepover and then returned the next day, for my regular time to watch Grace and James.  I got the entire day to watch the girls go from one fun activity to the next. Jimmy was mostly just happy to follow after the girls and watch from a distance.

There was painting, coloring, dancing, game playing, clay and so much more and the day passed by quickly.  Anna spent the night at my house and then Gwen met us the next morning to bring Anna home.  

The little bit of driving to help these fun times happen is so worth it.  I just love getting to spend time with the kids.  Having the girls together was just an extra bonus.  

The following week, I got to attend a preview of Lia and Ellie's Spotlight Company's winter performance.  As usual, it was amazing.  The girls work so hard and practice so many hours to make these shows happen.  This year once again, the show will be performed at various local nursing homes.  So grateful that COVID is over and the residents can enjoy seeing these wonderful dancers.  I loved the theme and the costumes! And of course, the girls!  They danced so well!

The following week, I got to invite a good friend, Diane, to come to Fellowship of Faith.  She got to tour the building (that she has heard so much about) and then got to see a few of the Rock kids sing.  It was fun to show off my grandkids and my church!  

Rounding out this busy month, Susie had invited me to attend Disney on Ice with Grace and Susie's parents.  This was a Christmas present for Grace and she was extremely excited about the show.  Sadly, Susie's parent were not able to attend since they were sick.  Susie offered the tickets to Gwen and Anna.   Since Gwen had a work commitment, Lia was able to bring Anna!  So I got to spend a wonderful morning with Susie, Grace, Lia and Anna!  I think I might just have enjoyed the show more than the kids!  

It was a Frozen and Encanto show.  These are two Disney movies that I know pretty well.  The skaters were really good and the stadium was packed!  I don't think there was an empty seat.  I especially liked all of the Disney Princesses and the Disney Regulars (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Pluto and Goofy) that showed up at the end!

Again, just so thankful for time spent with family.  There is really nothing that means more to me than that.  

It seems totally impossible that Ken has been gone for almost two and half years.  At times it seems like just a few months.  But I have certainly settled into a routine and fill my days with family and friends.  For that, I am very grateful.  I look around my warm, comfortable home, while sipping on my coffee and feel a deep peace and joy.  In a few weeks, I will have lived in this house for 45 years!  That just doesn't seem possible.  Yet, I am so thankful for God's provision.  So many seniors are not so blessed.  

If the rest of 2023 is anywhere near as wonderful as this month has been, it is going to be a stellar year.  So much fun, so much family and so many good friends.  So much to look forward to.  I can't wait to share it all with you!

Jesus, thank you for these wonderful times.  Holy Spirit, help me to remain in this attitude of gratitude.  Remind me of the blessings of family and friends and house and home.  Thank you Jesus for your provision of everything that I need.  Thank you for children and the joy that bring to us.  Amen

Christmas wrap up for 2022

I so love having these family photos from our gatherings.  I love seeing just how much the kids grow and change.  Christmas was so much fun.  We managed to avoid the bitter cold and snowy days by our previously planned date to celebrate of the 26th!  It was a great day weather-wise and everyone was healthy (which we do NOT take for granted)!  

 

We always make sure that one of the first things we do, is set up for the "photo shoot".  It is almost impossible to wrangle everyone once the present opening begins.   This year Micah, Lia's boyfriend, joined us for the Christmas celebration.  Our number keeps growing as the kids get older!

It is a good thing that Gwen and Tim have the "world's biggest sectional" since it fits most of us!  

It was so much fun just watching all the opening of presents. I receive the "Grandma and Jimmy" frame to complete the set of frames on my wall!  Susie began making these for me in 2008, when she created the first "Grandma and Lia" frame.  She has gifted me one for every grandchild since!  These precious keepsake frames mean the world to me.  I now have seven frames to look at each day!

It was a great day for some outdoor fun, so Grace, Anna and Zeke spent over an hour outside sledding.  Gwen and Tim have some perfect hills so no driving is necessary to get to a good place to sled.  

Warming up afterwards required some hot cocoa.  Just made the day even more fun.  Jimmy seemed to enjoy the dogs as much as the presents.  Sunny (who has as much energy as a toddler) and Jimmy, raced around the room chasing after each other.  Both Sunny and Jimmy were ready for a bit of "containment" so Sunny went to her crate and Jimmy....

And everyone had a turn at entertaining Jimmy!  It was so much fun seeing the excitement of the kids.  They love being together and everyone had a great time.  We played a few rounds of a new game "Would you Rather" and that brought many laughs.  We didn't take our usual dinner time photo- we simply forgot.  With all twelve of us gathered around their table set with their Avent wreath burning, the story of my "almost burning down our house on Christmas" was once again shared.  And we laughed (all of us adults) that the kids did not even know what an "entertainment center" was!  Our family Advent wreath story involves a plastic wreath, some (very) short candles, the top of an entertainment center, and a busy mom (AKA me) making a Christmas breakfast in the kitchen while the entertainment center burned! Just a little!  Thankfully, Ken noticed the flames before much damage was done.  We had a large burn mark on the top of that piece of furniture for all the years we owned it!  And also a great story to tell every Christmas for the last 37 years.  

The years go by so fast.  In a blink of an eye, the kids are all growing up.  It won't be long before my little family will grow so large it might be difficult to fit easily into a photo.  I can not express fully just how thankful I am for the love and care and concern I am so blessed  to receive from my family.  Over the last few weeks, I have read, heard and seen so many stories of families that are torn apart by conflicts and hurts. My prayer goes out to those who do not have family nearby or at all.  There is something about Christmas that makes family seem so important.  For me, it is all about sharing the love that makes the holiday so special.  It is the small little kindness' that happen that bring smiles and tears to so many.  It is the "secret santa" gifts, the ornament exchanges, the cookies shared and the candy eaten that express the truth of Christmas. It is the lights on trees and houses and yards that dispel the darkness of the winter night.  It is the smiles of strangers, the door held open for you, the extra hug that warm my heart.  It is the glowing candles in a darkened church and the singing of familiar carols and the ringing of the bell near the Salvation Army kettle.  Yes, this is the love of Jesus pouring forth  into our dark world.  Jesus said "I am the light of the world" and then said "You are the light of the world".  As we celebrate Jesus' birth, we shine forth our light into the world.  That is what Christmas is really all about.  May we all continue to shine forth brightly into the new year.  

Jesus, thank you for reminding us that you are the light of the world.  Holy Spirit, help us to see the light that overcomes the darkness that seems to be all around us.  Remind us to shine brightly and to not "hide our light under a bushel".  Keep us aware of others who might need that extra measure of kindness.  Give us courage and boldness to smile, to hug and to help.  Amen

Amazing how a picture triggers a memory

This morning I was getting ready to attend a baby shower for an expected grandbaby of a friend, when I happened upon this photo.  It had been stuck in an old jewelry box and I was looking for some Christmas things to brighten up my fashion choice today.  And then this photo dropped out of the drawer.  

When I picked up this photo, I remembered the day it was taken so clearly.  If you notice the upside down inscription - it was the first time we had ever seen a Polaroid Camera/photo.  This was just before Christmas of 1961 and the Polaroid was the "Big Deal" in the camera world.  This is what is printed on the back of the photo....

My dad was fascinated by this concept.  I remember him inspecting the photo, hoping to find something to complain about. I also remember that he had a very long conversation with the salesman trying to sell him the camera!  But that is not the entire memory of this day for me.  

My dad, my brother and I were at the "big" Montgomery Wards store in St. Paul, Minnesota.  It was the evening after the last school day before Christmas and my mom had to work late.  My dad brought us with him to pick up my mom after work and to do a bit of Christmas shopping.  It was a memorable day for me because my dad never brought us shopping, and we got to see where my mom worked!  I was in second grade that year, and my mom had started working full time in the spring of my first grade year. I was the only one in my class with a mom that worked.  I didn't have any friends in the neighborhood that had working moms.  My mom worked in the payroll department that was on the top floor of the store.  I was very impressed by her desk and all the machines she worked with, as well as all of her co-workers. It was the first time that I actually could visualize where my mom was everyday and what she was doing.  Since she still had work to finish when we got there, she suggested that my dad take us to see Santa Claus.  This was my first and only time ever seeing Santa.

Now my brother Greg was 12 and in seventh grade.  It was pretty clear that he was not happy waiting in the line to see Santa.  I remember so clearly when he turned to me, with a very big grin on his face and said, "Santa isn't real.  This is a just a man in a costume.  He doesn't really bring toys.  It's just a game that parents play to make us beg for toys."  My dad never heard this conversation, but by the time I got to the front of the line, I had noticed that this could not be the "real" Santa.  He had a poorly fitting paste on beard and his hair was showing under the while wig.  I didn't want to believe Greg, but some of the magic went out of Christmas for me that night. I never spoke to my mom or dad about this, but I suspected that all the gifts were really from them.   You just have to love those older siblings that spill the beans for all the younger ones.

We didn't get any photo with Santa that night.  It was 1961!  If you had asked me when I stopped believing in Santa, I might have told you the story that I just shared.  But I never realized that there was a  photo from that night. Photos are so powerful. It really is about preserving the moment for the future.   I think that is why I love scrapbooking and have my home filled with pictures.  Recently someone asked me how many scrapbooks I have.  I just counted them and there are 65 scrapbooks on the shelves in my living room. I am still working on the second half of 2019 so this isn't even current!  And I still have boxes and boxes of photos from my life and boxes of older photos from my parents.  

Yes, that night some things about Christmas changed for me.  But it wasn't exactly what my brother might have intended. That year was also the year that I was in a Christmas program at our church.  My class sang "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" and the program was actually about Christmas around the world.  For me it was one of those special moments when a story just "clicks".  There was something about seeing that the birth of Jesus and knowing it was celebrate around the world.  It was the first time that I understood the meaning of Christmas.  It really didn't matter to me that Santa wasn't real or that my parents provided the gifts under the tree.  Something in that Sunday school program opened my heart to the wonder of Jesus, coming to us as a tiny baby.  

Today, as I was reflecting on this (very old) Polaroid picture and the events of that night, I was struck by two interesting facts.  One, it was the only time I actually "saw" Santa and two, it was the only year I was in a Sunday School Christmas Program.  Isn't it interesting that Jesus made sure that I understood the true wonder and mystery of Christmas when my child's heart had lost the excitement about Santa. I especially love that Jesus brought this picture back into my hands today.  It explains why I just love seeing young children singing and celebrating Jesus' birth. Something that was certainly meant to ruin Christmas for me, and then God making sure the truth was revealed.  Isn't God's timing wonderful!  

I am sure many of you may have stories of your own about Christmas' past and I am sure that there are many photo memories filling your albums, boxes, drawers and phones.  Take a few moments in these days leading up to Christmas, and look over those memories.  Let Jesus bring some revelation to you that might just change how you feel about those photos and Christmas.  If possible, watch some children put on a Christmas play.  Hear the story of the birth of Jesus.  It is all around us if we stop and look for it.

Jesus, thank you for always bringing to us what we need, at exactly the correct time.  Holy Spirit encourage us to stop and listen to the message that is in the air around us during this season.  Give us open hearts to receive the truth and wonder of Jesus' birth.  Thank you Jesus for children, for songs and carols and the joy of Christmas.  Thank you for coming to us!  Amen

Advent - waiting and preparing for Christmas with hope

 This is a small "Village" that is actually one of the last things that Ken gifted to me.  He made a trip to Home Depot (I don't know exactly what he actually went for) and came home with this set.  I had never had a Christmas village and he decided that in 2019 I needed to have this set.  So it is one of the newer Christmas things that I display.  Since Ken's passing in 2020, this has taken on a different meaning for me.  I will continue to display this for many years to come.  My sister Julie had an amazing collection of "villages" and kept them on display year around.  One of her son-in-laws constructed special shelves to hold all of the different scenes.  After her death this year, her daughters each have parts of this village to display in their own homes now.  It is a great way to remember our loved ones and keep them close in these special ways during this season.

My tree is up and my Nativity is on display.  I have been playing Christmas music and doing some shopping.  But, if I am being truthful, it has been difficult to really feel in the "Christmas Mood" this year.  There is really no reason at all.  I have been doing the usual activities and have had many chances to see some very bold and busy Christmas light displays.  I have started wrapping  presents and shopping for those last minute stocking stuffers.  Still, it seems that I have been only 3/4 in the spirit of Christmas.  

Every week, I spend a day at Gwen's house.  The addition of this sweet little lady, Sunny, has made every visit more busy than usual.  Gwen always walks Sunny first thing in the morning, so I have also gotten a nice (sometimes chilly) walk with them.  The fresh air and exercise have helped to raise my spirits a bit.  And Christmas is on display at their house as well.  Any room that you sit down in, has a tree to capture your vision. The reflective lights and amazing views from their sunroom help to lift my spirits. 

Bing with Grace and Jimmy certainly helps, also.  I snapped this photo on "Red and Green Day" at school for Grace.  She was delighted to have a dress with "Red Roses" that she could wear on that day.  The kindergarten Christmas happiness is infectious.  Her favorite song is one that I taught her last year - The Twelve Days of Christmas - and she insists that we sing it ALL every time I see her!  This grandma certainly regrets that decision!

Jimmy is just in love with their Christmas tree.  They have (very smartly) put all unbreakable ornaments on the bottom of their tree and he has a few favorites that he always picks off of the tree.  I love when he hands me (his dads) saxophone ornament that I purchased oh so many years ago!  Maybe someday he will want to play the saxophone also! I snapped this photo (actually Jimmy was trying to take the picture) on my cell phone and Jimmy just laughed and laughed when I showed him the picture.  It was certainly random but I love it so much!  Jimmy is VERY TALL for 18 months and can reach every counter in the house and all the doorknobs.  It's an adventure every time I am with him!  They have a kid's nativity set and after the third or fourth time he handed me the manger with baby Jesus, I got him to say Jesus - or at least his version of it!  For the rest of the day, he would run to the nativity and point out the small figure and yell (loudly) Jesus!  So I guess my job as Grandma was done for that day!

This past week was especially difficult since there were two deaths that impacted many people I love.  The sudden diagnosis and death of a 41 year old Pastor's wife and the unexpected death of a 72 year old women who had struggled for years with various types of cancer are both devastating during this holiday season.  I knew both of these women personally and have talked and cried with friends and family over the last days.   Damian McCrink, the pastor who lost his wife this week, has a special place in my families heart.  He married Doug and Susie and he also did the funeral for our sweet baby Lucas.  All week, the words of my own blog from that time in 2014 kept coming back to me.  It was Damian's words that I have been praying back to him this week.  You can read my entire blog From joy to sorrow to hope by clicking this link.  I want to share just a bit from that blog....

Susie had chosen Psalm 56:8 for the service... "You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in a bottle!  You have recorded every one in your book."   Pastor Damian reminded us all that Jesus is with us in our sorrow.  And he said "Jesus will need a very big bottle after this event!"   Damian went on to remind us that God is not the author of these terrible events.  Death entered the world through the fall in the garden of Eden.  Damian reminded us that those that believe in Jesus will see our loved ones again and we will be with them one day.  And there is the hope.   

And I speak these words, now, back to Damian and all who loved Nancy so much.  And I speak these words to Christine's family and friends. And to all who are struggling with the lose of a loved one.  Just as it was in 2014, I go from joy to sorrow to hope.  I am so grateful that all of these emotions are okay with Jesus.  He gets it - he understands.  And for today, that is enough for me.  

Jesus, thank you for understanding.  You know when we are feeling sad, lonely or depressed.  You feel the depth of our emotions with us.  Holy Spirit, you comfort us when we cry and when we rage with anger at the situations that we can not understand.  Jesus you do collect those tears and give us reminders of your plans for us.  Be with all those who mourn, this week especially be with Damian and his children and his family and all of Christine's family.  Remind us all of the hope in Jesus!  Amen

A Thankful month ending in Advent

 If there is one thing that I have learned over the last couple of weeks, it is VERY HARD to get old!  I never gave my mom credit for going along with all of our shenanigans when she would come to visit.  These last couple of days have been so much fun, but also so tiring!  Yesterday, after the dust of Thanksgiving and the Black Friday shopping, and our family Thanksgiving  had settled, I decided to bring Christmas to my house.  By the time I was done, I was tired and felt every bit of my 68 years old.   It was worth it all, however, to share Thanksgiving with my family.

Our celebration began at my house, with Gwen and Tim and the kids coming over on Thanksgiving morning.  We ate OUR traditional Lasagna, had lots of snacks and watched the Macy's parade.  We followed that up with the Dog Show that always follows the parade.  Gwen, Lia and I went out for a bit of shopping at the only store open on Thanksgiving day.  Tim managed to complete a list of jobs that I had prepared with things that I just couldn't handle, around the house.  So I am especially thankful today for cleaned out gutters, new filters in many places, shelves that stay put, cabinet doors that close properly and a much better insulated attic!  Tim managed to accomplish all of this while we were out shopping. This "sleepover" at Grandma's house has become a tradition, and the kids really love it.  Gwen and I got up at 5:30 to begin our Black Friday shopping.  We have had some wild experiences over the last years, but this year was strange by NOT being busy!  In fact the second store we visited we were literally the only customers in the store - 45 minutes AFTER they opened!  Lia joined us for the second part of our shopping, and was able to find a great deal on a much needed winter coat. It was a successful, much less busy and rushed Black Friday for us this year.

We arrived at Doug and Susie's house around noon for our traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  Doug smoked a turkey and we had all the sides! 

It's a bit of a tight squeeze around their table, but we still all fit - with Jimmy in his high chair!  The kids had a wonderful time running and playing.  The weather cooperated and it was in the 50's so the kids spent some time outside.  Having a toddler and a puppy running around kept us all busy.  It seemed that someone was always following closely behind either a puppy or a toddler, trying to prevent trouble!  All in all, it was super fun.  I loved that Gwen reminded us that Ken always wanted to go around the table and tell what we were thankful about.  There was very little hesitation from the kids.  They each could quickly add their thanksgivings.  It certainly made my heart so happy!  

We finished the night with pie and ice cream.  So much fun and so many great memories being made.  

Today we enter into Advent,  This has always been my favorite church-year season.  I love the anticipation, the waiting and the celebrating the approach of Christmas.  I don't have an advent wreath anymore, but when Gwen and Doug were at home, we always lit the candles.  As a matter of fact, if you ask them about our advent wreath, I am sure you will hear the story of how I almost burned down our house on Christmas Day with our Advent wreath!  Our television cabinet had a burn mark for as long as we had it!  Today in church we sang Light of the World by Lauren Daigle.  The song ends with the phrase "O come, O come, Emmanuel".    I love that we began Advent with this call for Jesus to come!  Advent is a time to find quiet and calm in a season of worldly hustle and bustle.  It is a time of reflection, of longing and seeking to keep Jesus in the forefront of Christmas.  

As I was putting up my tree yesterday, and setting up my nativity, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for this season.  I feel especially grateful for our freedom to celebrate Christmas.  Many around the world are not so fortunate.  Each of the small (and sometimes big) traditions in our families are important and help us stay connected to each other and are a bridge between the past and the future.  As I was hanging a favorite ornament on my tree, I paused and thought about the past generations who had held that very ornament in their hands, as it was placed on a tree.  I am, at the least, the 6th generation to place that glass star on a tree in preparation for Christmas.  It arrived in the United States with my great grandparents in 1870 from Germany.  We know that they had received it from their parents tree and my mother was told of the importance of this star.  I remember my mom loving hanging this star every year.  It has been a treasure to me since she gifted it to me in 2010.  It is hard to believe that this is at least 152 years old and most likely even older than that! It is a connection for me to my ancestors and to Christmas' past.

Everything about Advent connects us to events that happened somewhere around 2022 years ago.  Advent is a great time to stop and consider this amazing story of God's great love for us that he sent his Son to restore our relationship with him.  It is a story worth remembering and retelling.  As we walk through these next weeks, resist the temptation to rush and get frazzled.  Take some quiet moments each day to sit and reflect on the meaning of this season.  Be still and seek Jesus.  O come, o come, Emmanuel!

Jesus, thank you for placing us in families.  Give us grace and peace as we celebrate with traditions from the past.  Holy Spirit, help us to stay grounded this season and to avoid being drawn into busyness and anxiety.  Thank you for being the light of the world, Jesus!  Help us to share your light with our dark world.  Amen