This picture represents one of my very first memories. I don't actually remember having this picture taken when I was three years old. But I do remember that outfit. The jumper was a deep blue and the trim on the ribbon was red. The embroidery on the blouse was also red and the little bow was red. I don't know why I remember this so well, but I am sure about the colors - even though the picture is black and white. I've been thinking about this picture after spending some one-on-one time with Anna on Monday. Gwen had a crazy, busy day so she asked if I would come and pick Anna up after preschool. I was quite happy to get just a bit of time to be with Anna without the older kids around. As the youngest of four, Anna is usually not that much of a conversationalist. When you get her alone, it is just the opposite! What an amazing little girl, who will be four years old next week. She was happy to tell me all about her day in preschool. She even shared that her teacher was "really bummed" that she forgot to sing the dinosaur song. What an amazing little girl - she seems much older than three going on four all of a sudden. She was very excited to ride in my car and insisted on hanging her "pack pack" (her back pack) on the hook in the back seat. On my way home from their house, I was reflecting on my time with Anna, and wondering just how much she will remember of days like this. And that led me to think about this picture. Memories are really funny things.
Somewhere around the time that this picture was taken, I had a life changing dream. In this dream, Jesus and I were walking in a beautiful garden. There were all kinds of flowers and birds and trees. Even as a little girl, I remembered how incredible the place was. We were walking on a path that seemed to just go on forever. Jesus was holding my hand. Even now, when I think about this dream, I can feel his hand holding mine. Jesus had a very important message for me. A very simple message. Jesus was the Son of God and he had died on the cross to take away all the bad things we had done. And he did not stay dead. He came alive again and is in heaven with God. Easter is not about the candy and the Easter bunny. It is a true story about Jesus. I was supposed to tell everyone about Jesus.
I can't explain this dream. While my family attended church, we did not really ever talk about things like this. I don't remember ever having a conversation with anyone about Jesus, the cross or Easter prior to this dream. I do remember talking to my mom AFTER this dream and telling her I was going to tell everyone about Jesus. Her response was to tell me that we don't talk about this to other people. It was not something I should share with anyone else. So, I did not go and tell everyone about Jesus at that time. It was many, many years later when I realized that the dream was really the point when Jesus called me to be a truth teller and a sharer. I just never felt qualified to do that!
In total truth telling, I don't feel very qualified right now!
It really is a mystery how God really doesn't look around for the most qualified people to do His work. It is also interesting how many times He calls on children to carry out his plans. Lets face it, if we are qualified to do a job, we often don't have to have any help. When you can accomplish something in your own strength and power, you don't really need God, do you? Once I acknowledged this call on my life, and also just how unqualified I was for this task, it was quite easy to call out to Jesus for help. It has been a slow process towards acting on that first call on my life.
This blog is just part of me finally fulfilling that first call on my life. I am telling everyone who reads this blog that Jesus is real. He really died on that cross for you and for me. And He really rose from the dead and is now in heaven with God the Father. If you believe in Him you will be saved. It is that simple. There is nothing that you have to do. Jesus has done it all for you.
There are so many very qualified people out there, with training and theological degrees. There are well known, world traveling evangelists that are much more qualified than me to carry this message. Tonight I am very thankful for the means to write this blog and the method to transmit it out into cyberspace. Only Jesus could have planned to use someone as unqualified as me to share this message. I am sure that each person reading this blog, has a destiny and calling unique to you. That is just who God is. He loves us each so much. We are all pieces in the puzzle of His plan. We each have an important destiny to fulfill. Don't hesitate is you feel unqualified for the calling. Remember, nothing is impossible with God!
;Jesus, thank you for this very powerful memory through this picture that brought me back to the dream that needed to be shared today. Holy Spirit, give us all clarity as we consider what Jesus is asking of us. Help us to know your presence with us. Jesus thank you for being patient with us as we walk on towards your calling. Thank you Jesus for children. Amen
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