Another show and Mother's Day...

Ellie had another show "Honk" in late April.   Every time I see Ellie perform, it amazes me!  She has come so far and I expect to see so many shows in the future.  This was a real cute show based on the story "The Ugly Duckling".  Anna and Lia missed the show I was at because it is "dance recital season" and there were extra practices.  Ellie missed those practices, but will still be in the upcoming dance recital!  

Suddenly it was May.... I just don't know where the time goes!  Somehow Gwen turned 45 on May 4th.  Even typing that seems unreal.  I am sure many other "older mothers" will agree that it seems like just yesterday that you were having your babies.  

This is how I actually met Gwen.  I had a C Section under general anesthesia after a very prolonged labor (think Tuesday - Friday).  There were so many babies being born that there were no cribs left so her first bed was a cardboard box setting on a windowsill.  That required that a nurse had to bring her to my room.  She had a cute dress on and a bow in her hair!  I must have asked Ken over a hundred times if he was sure this was actually my baby.  He insisted that he had waited outside the doors of the OR and walked with her to the nursery.  Really, where have 45 years gone? Pictures now, confirm that there is no doubt that Gwen is mine.  I am very aware that my relationship with Gwen is "extraordinary".  I am so thankful for the time I get to spend with her and for her insight and advice.  Still, it is really hard to process that she is 45!  

We have never really "celebrated" Mother's Day.  Over the years it just seemed like a "Hallmark Holiday".  The gifts that I really loved were those handmade things from the kids.  That is still true today.  Doug and Susie stopped over so that Grace and Jimmy could give me the sweet flowers that they had painted.  They also brought a real plant (Gerber Daisy) and a balloon.  They brought some sweet treats and we had a nice visit sitting in my screen house.  

Any day that the kids come to my house is a good day, and this was a really good day!  This update is a whole lot later than it should be, but wow - we have a lot of stuff going on in May.  Gwen's birthday is just the beginning of a very busy month.  It will be a month filled with birthday celebrations, dance recital, remembering a 50th Wedding anniversary and graduation! Wow!  It is truly a banner month!

Jesus, thank you so much for family and the chance to be a part of my grandkids experiences.  Holy Spirit, remind us all to slow down and appreciate each day.  Help us to let go of the rush and enjoy the calm.  Give us moments to find your presence with us.  Thank you Jesus for loving us.   Amen 
  

Mothers Day.... from my current perspective

I have been thinking about this post for a couple of weeks.  With Mother's Day approaching, there has been a flood of commercials, store displays and floral reminders that mom's need to be thanked and/or appreciated on this one day.  I decided to begin this blog with pictures of my special babies that made me a mom.  Gwen was two months old in the first picture.  It was actually taken on July 4th and although you can't tell (because the picture was very faded by the time we scanned it) her outfit was blue with red trim.  Perfect for that day.  I also managed to miss blogging for her (gasp) 40th birthday last Saturday.  Somehow I feel as if I aged more than a few years myself on that day.  It is hard to not feel really old when you have a 40 year old!  The second picture is Doug at three months.  Again, really faded but Gwen actually picked out his outfit for the picture.  She loved the clown and I remember she was very specific that he should wear this because it was yellow and yellow was happy.  One thing is certain, I could not be more thankful for these two special people!  

I know that I am one of the "fortunate ones" - those moms that get to see their grown, adult children often.  As a matter of fact, I actually see both of my kids at least once a week.  I know that this is not the norm and I feel the blessing of watching my children parent their own children, up close and real.  I love the times when I get to watch from the sidelines (so to speak) as they deal with some small issue or discipline matter.  Most of all I love to watch them loving on their kids.  Seeing even the older kids climb onto Gwen's lap for a hug or wanting hugs and kisses as she is leaving the house for work can almost bring this grandma to tears.  And there is nothing sweeter than seeing your grown son cuddling with his toddler daughter and watching her run to give him hugs and kisses before he leaves for work.  These are my most cherished "presents" from my children.  And they are not just one day a year.  

For the last several years, I have had a message that I knew needed to be shared with others, through the medium of a book.  Actually, this blog was sort of the beginning of that calling to write in a more formal way.  I have a clear vision of exactly what the book will be, what needs to be included in that book, and the purpose of the book.  I haven't talked much about writing with many people.  I confess that the reason for my silence is mostly fear.  I fear well meaning advice or discouragement.  I fear hearing that it is impossible to accomplish this.  Gwen reminded me today that none of those things matter.  I have a message that I know needs to be shared, and I have a clear direction on how to share it (book form).  Nothing else matters.    I have started this project. and actually have a pretty good framework for the rest of the book.   If I had to sum up the purpose and/or message of this writing in one short sentence it would be........"Your prayers influence your future generations".  

On this mother's day, I am so thankful for my own mother.  I was blessed to have her advice, her love and her laughter for 56 years (she died just short of her 96th birthday).  On my last visit with her, she encouraged me to hold my grandchildren close.  She loved her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren with all of her heart.  And she prayed daily for all of them.  Her biggest fear was not being a "good mother" since her own mother had died when she was only two years old.  Her legacy - her family - are the evidence that she did not need to worry about this. She excelled at loving us all. 

And I am so thankful for my Grandmother, Nora, my mother's mother.  This photo is a blessing, the only photo of my mom with her mother.  Just look at the love on Nora's face for her little girl.  She knew, in this photo, that she was going to die.  She had already been sick before my mother was born.  Yet I am convinced that she prayed for my mom and her sisters.  For me and my siblings and even for my children and grandchildren.  

God had such an amazing plan for families.  He knew that each family tree would create branches and those branches would hold fruit filled with seeds to grow more family trees. Ken and I spent most of last weekend outside, soaking up the spring weather.  As we took a drive through an nearby Arboretum, I was thinking about God's plan for families revealed in nature.  There were so many little seedling trees scattered under the branches of the towering oaks, pines and birches.  And there were also the remains of the dead and dying trees, right along side of those new young ones.  It was so comforting and peaceful.  It was the affirmation that God's plan will not be stopped.  No matter what the circumstances, no matter what disaster befalls a family, not death or separation,  not rain storm or winter blizzard.  God's plan, his destiny would be seen.  His promises are true and He is faithful to complete his work.  

So there you have my thoughts on Mother's Day.  I receive the best gift I could ever get just being with my children, their spouses and their children.  And I know that my grandmother and my mother have had a direct influence on my life today.  So this "Hallmark Holiday" Sunday may pass by without any celebration at all in my house, but Monday I will be at Gwen's house and Tuesday I will be at Doug's house.  So my calendar is filled with lots of "Mothers Day" and "Grandma Day" and that is all I need!   

No matter what circumstance you are in, far from loved ones or as just beside you, no matter if your mother is no longer here, take a moment and appreciate God's great plan for you.  There is a purpose and a plan for your life that included your mother.  Make this Mother's Day about you and Jesus.  Thank Him for his great plan for your life that included your mother!  

Jesus, thank you for the love and care of a mother.  Holy Spirit, help us all to find your plan as we look around us in nature.  Give us eyes to see your love for us.  Thank you for our family tree and for all of that "great cloud of witnesses" that surrounds you.  Thank you Jesus for grafting us into your family!  Amen  

Dream small....

It has been a long time since I managed to get a blog post out there.  What a really busy month May has been.  Ken and I took a few days to go away to a relatively nearby Tulip festival. There were miles of amazing tulips to see.   We have had birthdays, mothers day, and our anniversary.  And there were several end of the school year events also.  By the end of each day, I AM TIRED!  So, therefore, my blogging has suffered.   Beginning with today and going backwards, here is a photo recap of this very busy time!

Today was Anna's last day of preschool (for this year).  She had a "crossing the bridge" event today and this also marked the end of Gwen's teaching for this school year!  It was a big day for Anna - her first real "school" experience!

Last Sunday, Gwen ran a half marathon and Tim ran a marathon - IN THE POURING RAIN WHILE IT WAS ONLY 40 DEGREES!  These two are amazing.  When they have trained and trained for an event, it happens rain or shine.  So proud of their perseverance! Because they were running this race, I took care of Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna.  

It was a special day for Zeke and Ellie at their Sunday School.  Because they had done all their memory work, they were treated to a special Limo ride to see a movie.  As I said, it was pouring rain. So this is the best picture I could get of the event.  I was a proud grandma when Zeke said one of his memory verses in church before this fun event.  

Lia, Anna and I spent a couple of hours together and had a nice lunch. After we picked up Ellie and Zeke, we all went out for ice cream.  It was a a good way to spend a really icky weather day.

Zeke's birthday party fell during this crazy busy time.  A jumping gymnastics party was fun for all. Really hard to believe that Zeke is 7 years old.   Even Grace had fun at this party.

It is so wonderful to see the cousins together.  At fifteen months old, Grace is running everywhere.  She seems so old now, so much more a toddler than a baby.  We might have to stop calling her "Baby Grace!"

Just before Mother's Day, Anna's preschool had a Mother's Day Tea.  She invited me to attend (Gwen class had a tea at the same time so I was a "substitute mom").  Gwen spent a few minutes seeing Anna sing with her class, but I got to share the treats with her.  

While we were seeing hundreds of tulips, we also took some time to visit this lighthouse on Lake Michigan.  Ken took hundreds of pictures of flowers and other sights along the way.  It was a relaxing time away for us. 

Lastly, I wanted to share this really neat picture I captured of Ellie blowing bubbles on an early Spring day in May.  It just feels like spring to me!

So there you have it.  My last three weeks in a few pictures.  Actually, there are a couple events that I missed in this recap!  Ken and I celebrated our 44th Wedding Anniversary.  It was also Ken's birthday.  No wonder I didn't have much time to blog!  But during this time, I heard a new song that really "fits" these last weeks for me.  It is Dream Small by Josh Wilson.  The first time I heard this song I was in tears.  As you can see in this blog, my life right now seems to be lots of "small" moments.  I so needed this reminder.  

Dream small.  Don't bother like you've gotta do it all.

Just let Jesus use you where you are.

One day at a time. Live Well.  Loving God and others as yourself.

Find little ways where only you can help.

With His great love. 

A tiny rock can make a giant fall.  Dream small.

Keep loving, keep serving

Keep listening, Keep learning

Keep praying, keep hoping,

Keep seeking, keep searching

Out of these small things, watch them grow bigger

The God who does all things makes oceans from rivers.

These simple moments change the world.

Of course there's nothing wrong with bigger dreams.

Just don't miss these moments on the way to bigger things.

Cause these simple moments change the world.

So if your life is anything like mine - you are running from one thing to the next - don't forget this message.  These simple moments change the world!  

Jesus, thank you for all the fun, wonderful times we have had in the last few weeks.  Thank you for reminding me that it is okay to be doing these "small" things.  Help us all to keep this attitude in the daily grind we face.  Holy Spirit, help us all to live well and to love others with Your love.  Amen

Mother's Day and a book review!

Today is Mother's Day and I was trying to decide exactly what picture I might use for this blog from among the hundreds that I have scanned.  There are pictures of my mom and me.  There are pictures of me with my children.  There are pictures of my mom with my kids.  You get the picture - lots of pictures!  It seemed difficult to decide...and then I saw this photo.  And the memories of this picture came flooding back to me.

This is picture is Henry Arnold Toesning (my grandfather) and Nora Henrietta Larson Toensing (my grandmother) and the darling little girl is my mom - Nona Etta Toensing Johnson.  It was taken in 1916 when my mom was around a year old.  This is the only picture my mom ever had of her with her mom.  Nora died in early 1917 before my mom turned 2 years old.  I love that my grandma is looking at my mom in this photo.  Mother's day was always one of those days that mom would say, "I wish I had gotten to know my mom".  In her later years, she talked so much about seeing her mom when she got to heaven.

Mother's day is like that....hard for many people.  Those who want children and don't have them. Those who have lost their mothers.   And those who have lost a child.  My family certainly know that missing and loss.

This is Susie and Doug with Lucas Jacob, right after he was born.  The joy and love in this photo was shaken when he died just 10 days later.  And there were some really tough holidays for the next couple of years.  I can't begin to imagine how hard Mothers Day and Fathers Day were for Doug and Susie.  What I know is that in the midst of that loss, there was hope.  And there was peace in knowing that Lucas was with Jesus.   

This year, Doug and Susie are celebrating with baby Grace Rae.  But that does not lessen the loss of Lucas.  He will always be missed, cherished and loved. 

Recently (and I know that I am really, really late for this) I read the book "The Shack".  The movie of this book was released this spring and most all of my friends went to the movie - some several times.  They strongly encouraged me to see this film.  Several of them had read the book when it was first released.  Some had never read the book.   Gwen was in the exact position that I was.  Never read the book and hadn't seen the movie.  Her friends encouraged her to read the book.  Within a day or two, she was telling me that I had to read the book!  

Timing is always everything.  I believe that I read this book at exactly the right time.  If I had read it several years ago it might not have had the same impact on me as it did.  As I was thinking of writing this blog, I knew that I needed to share what I experienced reading The Shack.  If you have not read the book or seen the movie, my testimony will not effect your ;reading/viewing of it.  

I had to put down my Kindle and stop reading after one very small line in one of the beginning chapters.....The Holy Spirit was collecting tears in a bottle.  Tears being shed for a lost child.  The verse that Susie and Doug chose for Lucas' funeral was Psalm 56:8 - "You have seen me tossing and turning through the night.  You have collected all my tears and preserved them in a bottle. You have recorded every one in your book".    Suddenly there was such reality to that verse.  Reading the words in that book, being drawn into the story, it was if the Holy Spirit just touched me and said, "yes, I am doing that for you, for Susie and Doug and for all your family."   It wasn't a past tense thing.  This is an ongoing and forever thing.  The tears we shed for Lucas,  for what could have and should have been, for the ever present hole in our family, on Mother's Day or any day,  are important and know by God.  I found great comfort in that.  As sometimes happens, I didn't even know how much I needed that comfort from the Great Comforter.  

The second place that I got stopped in reading The Shack was a scene with the main character walking through a garden, talking with God.  I immediately was back in a very long ago dream.  My life - my walk with Jesus - really began with that dream.  I was four years old but I remember that dream with great clarity.  As a matter of fact, even today I can recall how I felt in that dream.  It was really simple.  I was walking with Jesus in a beautiful garden.  It was more than my four year old brain could explain.  There were flowers of every color and the trees were amazing.  We were on a winding path.  Jesus held my hand as we walked along.  He told me who he was and that the Easter story was true.  He told me that I should tell everyone that it was true.  He had died on the cross, but he had risen from the dead and he was alive now in heaven.  If I close my eyes I can still feel his hand holding mine.   I have shared this dream many times.   As I read the book, it was as if the author had stepped into my dream.  I felt my heart begin to race as I read those pages.  It put such a confirmation stamp on my spirit. My dream was real.  Jesus is real.  The Bible is true.   I didn't even know that I needed that assurance, but I know now that I did.  

If you have not read The Shack, I encourage you to read it.  Or see the movie.  I am anxious now to see it!  I believe that it will touch every person who reads/sees it, with the exact message that they need.  Ignore all the controversy over this book and movie. Just let Jesus speak to you through this.  

So today, on this Mother's day, I can picture my mom with her mom in that beautiful garden.  I am so thankful that I will see Lucas again.  I will see my mom and finally meet my grandma.  And there will be so many others.  And it is all because of Jesus.  

Thank you Jesus for sending the exact right messages to us, exactly when we need them.  Thank you for pictures and memories.  Thank you for new books and movies that share your story.  Thank you for my children and grandchildren.  Thank you for The Shack! 

Feeling so thankful for.......blessings.

 I recently found this picture of Gwen and I with my mom taken in 2005.  I just love - LOVE - this picture for so many reasons.  What a wonderful mom and grandma my mom was.  Of course with Mother's Day a few days ago I have been thinking about and missing my mom.  She has been gone now for 5 years and I still catch myself thinking about calling her.  Isn't it funny how our brains work?  My mom prayed for her children and grandchildren every day.  She was a rather "stoic" German, and didn't talk much about her faith.  But in the last years of her life, she passed her strong faith on to me.  She daily read her Bible and always did a daily devotion of some kind.  Christian music was her favorite and she would listen to anything that I would send to her.  She loved the Christian Book store and would find just the right gifts for those around her.  Oh how she doted on ALL of her 9 grandchildren and 22 great grandchildren.  Her very favorite thing was holding those sweet little babies.  I know that if you talked to each of her grandchildren you would hear different stories about mom.  Gwen and Doug had a chance to really build a relationship with her after my dad died.  She would come and spend several weeks with us and because we talked on the phone all the time (when long distance wasn't cheap!) my kids felt like she really knew them.  Gwen had a particularly close relationship with her and from the time she was little would talk about Grandma Nona being at her wedding.  Thankfully, Gwen was married in 2001 and my mom was front and center for that big day.  Gwen and Tim made many trips to visit with her and Tim will always remember Yahtzee games at her dining room table.  When Lia and Ellie came along, Great Grandma Nona hugged and loved on them at every visit.  They still talk about her all the time.  They love to tell Zeke all about her, since he was born just after she died.  I am just feeling so incredibly thankful for my mom and the impact she had not only on me, but on my children and grandchildren.   My life was shaped by her faith and trust in the constant care of Jesus for her family.

As you may know from reading my previous blogs, we as a family have not been without our ups and downs. But we are very blessed indeed.  There have been many different kinds of struggles and trials, as I am sure that most families face - each in their own way.  But how can we not feel thankful when we live in a country that has freedom to worship and pray and sing about Jesus.  We have clean water at the touch of our hand.  Most of us have a roof over our heads and dry and comfortable places to sleep and eat.  And most of us have food to eat each day.  When you watch the news from around the world, you know just how blessed we are in the United States.

Today I am thankful for this little boy and being able to connect with him.

His name is Stephene and he is 9 years old.  He lives in a village in western Uganda.  You can read about the village and the great needs that they are facing at this web page Ayera Transformation Project.  Stephene goes to the Ayera Royal Academy and is in third grade.  He has not been well physically but is better now that he is going to school. A very small donation helps pay for not only his schooling but also provides food for him and a chance to learn about Jesus.  I am so thankful today for the people that Jesus has put into my life that bring these kind of connections.  Sometimes the needs around the world look so big that you feel like you can't do anything about them.  But today, I am feeling blessed to be able to touch Stephene and share out of the bounty that Jesus has given to my family.  

Yes, this feeling thankful blog comes right after my blog about not being afraid to fail.  Isn't it true that most of us would like to do SOMETHING to help, but are afraid to step out.  Today I am reminded that each one of us just needs to do their part.  None of us have to do it all.  If we all just touch one person, that is enough.  I have high hopes for Stephene!  I believe that Jesus has a plan and a purpose for his life that will have a ripple effect and touch many.  Just imagine what a difference we could make if each one of you just found one person to impact for Jesus today.  Maybe it is a neighbor or friend of even a family member or maybe it is a little boy in Uganda.  Let's all do this.  We can't fail because Jesus is in this! We can change the world - one person at a time!

Jesus, thank you for the many blessings you have poured into my life.  Thank you for my family - especially my wonderful mom.  What a great privilege it is to live in the United States.  Help us all to find the one that needs our help and encouragement.  Thank you for Pam and Okaka Dokotum and their work in Uganda.  Holy Spirit, continue to provide all that is needed in their ministry.  Jesus, thank you for the blessing of children and grandchildren.  Amen 

Celebrating Mother's Day.....at my small group!

We had a special Mother's Day brunch at my small group.  Today was a good day for me to be thinking about and celebrating Mother's Day.  It was the 37th Anniversary of the day that I became a mom!  Gwen's birthday!  This is a kind of fuzzy and a bit outdated (2014) picture of Gwen and I that was actually taken by one of the kids at a family gathering.  Usually Gwen and I are the ones that have the cameras in our hands and do the picture taking.  So we don't get many pictures of us together!   Happy Birthday to my wonderful, sweet Gwen.

My friend had a great idea for this morning's meeting. We  each got to pick a pretty tea cup and then we all filled up these cups with affirmations and blessings for each other!

We had spent some time thinking about and praying about our own mothers.  It was interesting to hear others talk about ways that they felt they had not appreciated their moms. The exact thing I was thinking about on my way to the meeting this morning.  It was a so good to forgive our mothers and to forgive ourselves for all of those times we failed as mothers.   We prayed for our children (31 plus 14 spouses of our kids) and grandchildren  (23 grandchildren). When you list these numbers it suddenly doesn't seem like a "SMALL" group!   As I have said before, this group is really a life line for me and I am so thankful for all of them!  What a meaningful and powerful time to stand together as mothers and bring our generations to Jesus!  And then we each got to fill up our friends cups with thoughts and prayers and blessings.   

I spent some time this afternoon meditating on each of those little pink pieces of paper in my cup.  Words have great power and even a few words on a little card can really have a big impact.  I also thought about the words that I had put on each of those papers in my friends cups.  Why is it that we don't take a moment to affirm each other more often?  If I learned one thing today it was how important it is to encourage and bless each other.  I am so thankful for these friends and I am thankful for my friend Jesus.......

What a Friend We Have In Jesus

What a friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged—

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,

Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness;

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge—

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,

Thou wilt find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised

Thou wilt all our burdens bear;

May we ever, Lord, be bringing

All to Thee in earnest prayer.

Soon in glory bright, unclouded,

There will be no need for prayer—

Rapture, praise, and endless worship

Will be our sweet portion there.

This old hymn is one of my very favorites from my childhood and was also one of my mom's favorites.  Recently I encouraged Gwen to teach this to her kids.  On Monday when I was helping Ellie with her school work, we got to sing this song together.  It brought back so many great memories of my mom and was a good start to my mother's day celebrations.   I especially like the last few lines of this song..... and I think of my mom and so many others who are in that bright and glorious place of endless worship with Jesus.  What a great comfort and peace that brings.  

So be encouraged today in the love of Jesus.  Celebrate your mother and affirm her with your words of thanks and praise even if she is no longer alive.  And take a few moments and affirm your family, your friends and your neighbors.  

Jesus, thank you for today.  What a blessing it is to share your love with others.  Holy Spirit remind us all to affirm those around us.  Give us words of grace and power and blessing to share.  Thank you for songs that touch our spirits.  And Jesus, thank you for Gwen!  Amen

.  

Mothers day......

Well it wouldn't be Mothers Day if I didn't share a picture of my very dear mom.  This picture is the last picture I have of my mom and I together.  It was taken at the end of March and less than 2 weeks later, mom had died.  When I was getting ready to leave (which had gotten harder and harder in the last couple of years of mom's life), mom just hugged me so tightly.  I told her that I'd see her in just a few months (I had a trip planned for early June).  But I think that we both knew that this was really goodbye. I cherish the time that I did have with her in the last years of her life.  Even though it was quite a drive, I usually managed three or four trips a year to visit.  And we had some wonderful, amazing telephone conversations.  Ken would say that I "burned up the lines" to Minnesota.  Seriously, our phone bill was often our largest expense (long before cell phones when we paid dearly for long distance).   I am so thankful for my mom and the wisdom and strength that she sowed into my life.   I miss her every day. 

Just found this snapshot of me and my little sweeties in the summer of 1982.  Doug was just a couple months old and Gwen was just 3.  In case you don't recognize the location, it is Brookfield Zoo.  I love this picture! This was among the first of many, many adventures that Ken and I had with the kids.  Even with Doug's health issues over the years, we always managed to go to parks, museums, zoos, playgrounds, and lakes/pools.  Being a mom was just exactly what I had always thought it would be.  I continue to love everything about this mom thing.

I have been thinking about this Mother's Day celebration.  I mentioned yesterday that I think this was a hard day for my mom, who grew up not even knowing her mother.  We are also very aware that my daughter-in-law Susie is walking through this day, her first Mother's Day, without her precious little boy.  And there are many others who have always wanted to have children, but are now childless.  Children who don't know who their mothers are, living in foster homes or orphanages.  So, while I think that it is good to honor and remember our moms, it just might be better to do this every day rather than just one day a year.

Tonight I was at a Worship meeting and these words just really stuck with me........

Jesus, You are good to me.  When I don't understand, I will choose you.

I will see this season through, and I will fix my eyes on you. 

I need more of you.  Living breath, breathe on me.  Living water, rain down on me.

I will not be quiet anymore.  I will not be silent anymore.

I'll lift my hands, my life and my voice to give you glory Jesus.

There is nothing worth more than your presence.

So, here I am, lifting my voice..... well typing words on a page.  But, none the less, I am sending my thoughts out into cyberspace for all to see and read and consider.  Even these thoughts about Mother's Day.  

Jesus, thank you for this special day to remember and honor and think about those we love.  Holy Spirit, when days are hard and we feel like the only person out of sync with the world, turn our thoughts and our eyes to Jesus.  Thank you that when we do this, you will be there!  Amen  

Mothers Day Tea with Zeke....and missing mom

 Zeke, who will soon be 4, goes to preschool three days a week.  He loves school and his teachers love him.  He is well behaved, thoughtful, listens well, creative, and follows directions.  This past week his class celebrated a "Mother's Day Tea" and invited all the mommy's to come to class.  There is just one problem with this.  Zeke's mommy (Gwen) teaches her own class of 4 year old's and had her "Mother's Day Tea" at the same time!  So she needed to be "Miss Gwen" rather than Zeke's mommy.  So she asked me to be a "stand in mommy" for Zeke!  After making sure that it was okay with Zeke, I said "Of course!"

This terrible picture of me with cutie pie Zeke, is the only one I got of the two of us together.  I got to listen to his class sing several wonderful songs (thankfully Gwen was able to sneak into Zeke's room and was there to hear the little concert!).  We then got to share some "tea" which was in fact lemonade and various kid friendly snacks.

 Zeke had two helpings of snacks and I loved hearing him talk about this classroom.  He pointed out exactly where everything was including his favorite toys and even the garbage can!  I helped him make this bead bracelet for Gwen, which he was very proud of.

I couldn't pass up taking a picture of this picture that he drew that was why he thought his mom was special.....

You can see where Zeke's mind is at....water parks and roller coasters!  Gotta love that boy!  He told me that the lines around the outside were the water park "ride" (which I figured out was the lazy river) and the designs in the middle are the roller coasters!  Pretty good for three years old!  

Looking around the room at all those moms (and one dad) of these little three year olds - well it made me feel...........................thankful.  I sort of expected to feel very old.  But instead, I just felt so very thankful that I could be there.  For years I was always working full time and I never got the chance to attend these events.  So it was a blessing to be able to be there.  I truly cherish every bit of time that I get to spend with the grandchildren.  And a special time like this, just brings that even more to my mind.   

Mother's day for our family has always been just a "Hallmark Holiday".  We don't really ever celebrate in any way.  As a matter of fact, it was hard to celebrate with my mom, since her birthday always fell around Mother's Day.  I always tried to mail the cards a week apart so that she got to "celebrate" two different mail days.  I think it was one of those really hard days for her that she never really talked about.  She was missing her own mom, who died when my mom was not yet 2 years old.  

This picture is the only photo we have of my mom with her mother.  In the last years of my mom's life (after this picture was discovered) she would often look longingly at this picture.  She always wanted to know what her mom would have been like.

Today I am celebrating that my mom is finally with HER mom, and they are having an amazing party with Jesus.  And there is nothing better than that.  So even though I am missing my mom, it is indeed a really wonderful feeling, knowing that they are together now.  And I can only have this assurance because of the amazing gift of Jesus on the cross.

Jesus, thank you for Zeke and the time that I got to be with him at his school.  Thank you for the staff of that preschool - each teacher and assistant - that are so loving and kind to these children.  Holy Spirit, give comfort to everyone who is missing their mom and not able to be with them today.  Thank you for children and their ability to celebrate and appreciate things that are not so clear to us as adults.  And Jesus, thank you that I have this time to spend with my grandchildren.  Amen