End of a very long week......

On Saturday I had the great opportunity to spend the entire day with Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna.  Gwen and Tim were at a retreat for the youth at their church, so it was Grandma up to bat. Lia was recovering from a bout of Strep Throat but thankfully was feeling back to normal after a couple of doses of antibiotics.  We had a low key sort of day.  There was lots of playing and lots of fun.  By the end of the day the picture above was my view out of the kitchen window.  (Isn't God so good to paint the sky for us?)

These pictures represent my view INSIDE as the sun went down.  Anna was still standing, but the rest of the crew was down for the count, even Chandler.  So after a quick dinner, everyone got a bath.

Thankfully Gwen and Tim have a LARGE bathtub in their master bedroom.  The three kids had a great time with the bubble bath.  It was all I could do to get them out.  And after all that time soaking, all three of them insisted on taking a shower to rinse off the bubbles!  (I guess this is standard practice at their house).  By 8:00pm all of them were tucked into bed after bedtime stories and prayers.  Yes, it was a great day.  

Today I spent a good part of the day getting my scrapbooking in order for an upcoming weekend away.  I spent hours sorting pictures and choosing paper.  But when I shut the light off in the scrap room, I felt that I had accomplished a great deal.  Yes, that is a great feeling.  Ken and I managed to get in a bit of shopping also and we found this incredible cart.

Anyone who knows us at all, knows that we LOVE THE BEACH! Any good vacation includes time sitting on the sand.  For the last several years we have been looking for a decent beach cart since lugging all the "stuff" back and forth to the beach is not one of our favorite things.  And yes, I do know that my last post was about a blizzard, so the purchase of a beach cart seems simply ridiculous! But we know from experience that you can not find a beach cart in July!  Lets face it.  When you have to buy back to school stuff in June and Halloween hits the shelf in August, followed by Thanksgiving in September and Christmas in October, its no surprised that we are buying a beach cart in February!  The upside to this purchase is that we were reminded that 1. There is a beach somewhere..... and 2.  We will be on that beach sometime,,,,,!  Yes, it was a much needed teaser to the thought of a vacation and warmth and the ocean.  

You might have noticed that my posts on this blog have been a bit sporadic in the last couple of weeks.  I confess - in honesty (which I promised when I began this blog) - that it has been kind of difficult couple of weeks.  I have been busier than normal. But it is a bit more than that.  During this time I have found myself pondering and praying and asking some questions that don't really have any answers.  You know..... all those "why" kind of questions.  And it feels like I am sitting in silence.  I haven't really said much to anyone about this.  Last Wednesday at my small group, someone told me that they felt that I was really going to experience an elevation to a new position in ministry.  I was sort of stunned by this.  How could I think that this could happen when I felt so stuck?  And then I saw this post.....

Suddenly I could breathe again.  It was as if I needed to know that I would be okay.  I felt that tender mercy wash over me.  All of a sudden my questions don't matter and I don't really need any answers.  At least not right now.  For now just knowing that Jesus is so close to me is enough.  It also seems possible that there may be something new and different for me in the future.  

It is so amazing to me how one small post...one little bit of Scripture can change everything.  I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit uses Facebook, the internet and other people to reach us when we feel so unreachable.  Just when I needed that "wave of mercy" it was there for me.   If you are in a hard place right now, if you have those unanswered questions hanging over you, if you think that you will never get through this dark place....take courage.  Let that wave of mercy carry you through this.  Park in Psalm 34 and let Jesus take care of you!

So now....on to another week......

Jesus, thank you so much for hearing my cry.  For knowing exactly what I needed.  Thank you for sunsets and sweet hugs from little ones, for time for hobbies and reminders that summer will come.  I am simply so grateful tonight knowing that you will not let me be defeated!  Thank you Jesus.  Amen

When you still have questions but others think you have the answers!

Well, today my message from "God wants you to know...." (This is an interesting site on Facebook that just sends you little messages now and then) was "You already know the answer!"  Wait a minute...... I know that I have lots of questions, lots of things I have been discussing with Jesus and I am absolutely sure that I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWERS!  Do you ever feel this way?

 

In fact this puzzling little statement leaves me with far more questions than answers.  It is so hard when someone else - especially Jesus - tells you that you already know what seems so elusive to you.  So this takes a bit of reflection..............

 

So, Jesus.....  Why am I always so slow to understand the things that you are trying to say to me?

I am sure that I don't have the answer to that one.

Why do I feel as if I am going around the same "mountain" (insert issue, problem, situation - whatever fits)?     Nope, no answer to that one either.

Am I on the right path to fulfill your destiny for me?  Not sure on this one.

 

Oh, boy, this is a just a small sampling.  So........  I will spend some time and really search my own heart and spirit, and listen carefully so that I can have some answers! 

 

Just as I was about to end this Blog post, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the many, many times I have said to my own children (or the children that I nanny) "You already know the answer to that question".  Really, what mom has NOT said those words?  It is usually when the answer is so obvious that the question is simply silly.  Things like "Can I go outside without my shoes?" when it is 30 degrees.  Or "Can I have just one more cookie?" when dinner is just 5 minutes away.  So, suddenly I have a different perspective on this statement. 

 

So let's see......  I don't understand all that Jesus is saying to me because I don't stop to listen carefully.  I am always rushing around and not taking the time to stop and let the Holy Spirit really give me the full revelation.

I am not going around the SAME mountain.  It may feel the same, look the same, but I have been moving forward and upward.  So the present "mountain" is NOT the same!

And, I can be sure that you Jesus, will nudge me back onto the correct path if I have in some way, veered off to one side or the other. 

 

I guess I did  know the answers!  Thank you Jesus for using something like this to speak to me today.  Instead of feeling like I did not get any answers from you, I will stop and listen and reflect and allow the Holy Spirit to show me that I do have your answers!  Jesus, help all of my friends that are having a hard time right now, and feel as if they don't have the answers to hard questions that they have been asking you.  Give them assurance that they do KNOW!  Thank you Jesus!  Amen