celebrating with hope........

This morning I read this post from Lana Vawser - Broken Hearts mended and I was brought to tears.  But they were tears of hope and trust and faith.  This post struck at the heart of my sadness, the death of baby Lucas.  My daughter in law Susie chose the verse Psalm 56:8 for the funeral of her precious 10 day old baby boy.

"You have kept tract of all my weeping, you've stored my many tears in your bottle, not one will be lost.  You care about me every time I've cried. For it is recorded in your book of remembrance. (From the Passion Translation)

 Yes, we were (and still are) crying tears.  And Jesus is collecting those tears in bottles.  You will need to click on that link and read the post to understand the intense rush of hope and joy that filled me when I read that post.  But it also brought me back to Lucas.  It is interesting that I saw this post today.  Because today is Anna's first birthday.  Here is one of my favorite pictures of Anna and me from shortly after she was born.

So while I was missing Lucas, I was also remembering and celebrating Anna.  It is really such a contrast.  Thanks to that post, I can celebrate what is ahead and feel so much renewed hope filling me.  I am so thankful for Facebook, for the internet for people who share posts.  I just love these lines in that post...

I then saw the Father take a bottle at a time and pour these tears over the lives of His people. As it poured out over their lives I saw the tears were coated in the most glorious gold liquid love of the Father.
Immediately I knew that He was saying He has taken all the tears of pain and hurt and has TURNED these tears into tears of LOVE!
He is turning mourning into dancing and sorrow into joy. As these tears coated in liquid love fell upon the lives of His children suddenly life began to arise. The most beautiful coloured flowers, one after the other arose.

So tonight I am basking in the image of glorious gold liquid love being poured out over our family.  And I am filled with the hope of dancing and joy and new life.  Yes, I really needed this today and I am so thankful for sweet little Anna on her special day.  

Jesus, thank you so much for Lana Vawser.  Continue to bless her with ears to hear your voice and give her new vision.  Thank you Holy Spirit for the timing of this post.  Pour out your blessing and that golden love on Doug and Susie and all of our family.  Thank you Jesus for the plans and destiny you have for my family.  Holy Spirit, reach out to all those who have filled bottles with tears.  Cover them with your great love and fill them with new hope.  Amen

The trap of feelings......

Today I have been feeling stripped bare......because I am missing my wedding rings!  No, I didn't lose them.  They are at the jewelers getting a much needed cleaning and dipping.  But look at my hand.  All I could think of when I saw this picture was "It looks so old!"  And also, "It looks just like my mom's hand!".  But also notice the indent where my rings normally sit.  I guess after wearing these for 41ish years, your body does adapt to them.  I can't tell you how many times today I noticed that my rings were missing. And each time, there was just a hint of fear that those rings were gone.  In the moment I would forget that I had taken them off.  Isn't that silly?

Since Lucas died in November, I have been having that "Stripped bare" feeling quick often.  My emotions have been brought to the surface and I have found my self breaking into tears at the oddest times.  While I have expected the sadness, it is the times that I have been covered with heavy darkness that have surprised me.  Often this odd feeling has hit me while I am driving.  I can't explain this, and usually can't find any reason leading up to the attack.  I am so thankful that I can find my way out of the darkness through music and that powerful presence of Jesus that I have been blogging about.  In a previous blog I mentioned that the presence of Jesus has gotten me through these months.  Today I was thinking about WHY the presence has been so important.  It is because I have been hit with doubt and fear and disappointment and discouragement and darkness and pain and sadness and.....well the list goes on and on.  Let's be honest here.  In any crisis, all of those things happen to most people.  It doesn't matter what the event is, when your world is shaken, this is when satan chooses to attack.  Can't you just imagine how it might seem like the perfect time to cut down one of God's people?  

Today I was reading in Proverbs 29:25 from the Passion Translation..

Fear and Intimidation is a trap that holds you back,

 but place your confident trust in the Lord and you will be seated in the high place!

Yes, these feelings are a trap of the enemy.  And I am so thankful that being in that powerful presence of Jesus breaks me out of that trap! Once you know that the trap is there, it is so much easier to avoid.  I love that Jesus showed me this today, that I know that I was able to see this because of the presence of Jesus.  When that really heavy feeling hits me, I know that I can ask Jesus to help me.  Even when the feelings and emotions remain with me, I know that I am seated in that high place.  And from that place I know that I am free from that trap and the peace and comfort of Jesus will work in me and bring me out of those feelings.  

If you are in one of those really scary, crisis times and you are feeling stripped bare right now, I can assure you that Jesus will be there to lift you up.  Look around and see that trap.  Because once you know it is there, it can't surprise you.   Sometimes all we need is to see the road ahead of us.  Having that vision can change everything.  

Proverbs 29:18 again from the Passion Translation....

When there is no clear prophetic vision, people quickly wander astray.

But when you follow the revelation of the Word, Heaven's bliss fills your soul!

Jesus, thank you for your revelation.  Holy Spirit remind us of those traps that seek to hold us back.  Help us to turn to you when our emotions surface. Thank you for knowing exactly what we need and where we are especially when we face that stripped bare feeling.  Thank you for your joy and peace.  Amen

PS  One of the best things I have ever started is reading one chapter of Proverbs each day (the chapter that corresponds to the date!).  There are 31 chapters so you will read the entire book every month.  This has been such a blessing in my life.  Try it out!

When you know better......but you think about pushing the limits

Oh how I love this sweet little face!  Hard to imagine that Anna will be one year old in a few days. Yesterday I was following her around the house (because that is the only way to be sure she is safe...and she is fast!), she came to the stairs.  I was sitting on the couch and she looked over at me with that big smile, and shook her head "no-no" and them started to put her knee up on that first step.  All the while, watching me and smiling and shaking her head no!  When I said "Anna, No No!" she very slowly moved away from the stairs (still shaking her head no).  She is learning...even at this young age...that there are limits that must be obeyed.  But she loves to test those limits and see if she just might be a bit faster than grandma and make it to those stairs (or the bathroom- if the door might be open- or the shoes by the door or the dog bowls - etc). And then she flashes that heart-melting grin.

Isn't this a picture of how we sometimes lead our own life?  We know that there are things that we should avoid, places that we should not go, shows that we should not watch, or books that we should not read.  It is really something different for each one of us.  Seriously, stop right now and bring up to the surface of your mind, those limits that you know are there for you.  Yes, I admit that I am lots like Anna.  I even find myself stopping and asking, isn't this okay?  When I know that it is not.  Sort of like that extra dessert when you know that you have had enough.

Unfortunately, there are many in the church that are pushing the limits when they should know better.  There is compromise happening and decisions being made that are far from the Biblical truths.  You can't avoid seeing something about this topic.  And because of that, there are so many churches pointing fingers at other churches or groups of people.  Hateful words being spoken (or shouted at times). And it is so hurtful.  And this is why I love Chicago HUB so much.  The people who get together there have one point of common ground.  Jesus.  Belief and acceptance of who Jesus is and what he has done for us on the cross.  John 3:16.  All the other stuff just doesn't matter when you are in the presence of Jesus.  It is so freeing and so filling when Jesus is all that matters.

I don't know about you, but I for one am thankful that there are limits.  I feel much better knowing what I need to avoid.  Isn't it wonderful that Jesus knew that we would need to be reminded of our limits and this is one great benefit of the Holy Spirit living in us.  Anna would not be safe on those stairs, so it is for her protection that we prevent her from climbing those stairs.  And I am also thankful for the body of Christ that stands with us and pulls us away from those dangerous "off limits" activities when we choose to ignore the nudge of the Holy Spirit.

Anna is very blessed to have great older siblings.  They follow after her and loudly announce when she might be getting into trouble.  Let me tell you this is a big help for this grandma!  It is so much fun to see Anna growing up.  Today I actually caught all three kids (Lia was at school - Ellie was home sick from school, but feeling better by the time I took this picture) playing so happily together.

They have a large shelf of "Little People" (Fisher Price) and each of the kids plays hours with every set.  Sometimes you will find a "princess" driving a farm tractor or a "batman" in the princess castle.  It really doesn't matter.  Because with Little People, there are no limits!  There isn't any right way or wrong way to play with these toys, it is all imagination.  I am so thankful that my grandchildren have freedom to play ....to imagine.....to explore.  And I am thankful that we have that freedom (with some limits) in Jesus.

Jesus, thank you so much for the reminder about limits, the things that are just dangerous for us.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the firm and gentle rebukes that keep us away from the obvious sharp drop offs and also the subtle scary places. Help us keep our eyes and ears open for ourselves and for our sisters and brothers.  Thank you for sweet little ones that remind us to be like little children in your Kingdom Jesus!  Amen

You can't always believe what you read..............

It has been an up and down sort of weekend for me.   On Saturday night we decided to try out a new location of a place that we often visit.  We had driven by that new spot and it looked like it was ready to open.  Then on Thursday, we received this coupon magazine in the mail with this cover...... "NOW OPEN".  So off we went, hoping to enjoy our favorites in a new, much closer to home, setting.  But, alas, when we get there, the parking lot was roped off and there were signs that said "OPENING ON WEDNESDAY".   Needless to say, we were not happy to have to decide....AGAIN....where we were going to get something to eat.  I guess you can't always believe what you read!

That got me thinking about all the things that we read on the internet, that are simply not true. It is really hard to not enter into long "discussions" on Facebook that start from statements that are just not true!  Sometimes, and these are much harder, the topic is really a "grey" area that isn't right or wrong.  Or comes from someones perspective.  Well, you know that I have been mulling over, thinking about, digesting all about THE PRESENCE of Jesus.  And here is one place that I am so thankful for that presence.  When you are walking each day, welcoming that presence of Jesus, the gift of discernment is in full operation.  The Holy Spirit is quick to point out the things that are TRUE that can be celebrated.  And also those things that are FALSE.  And the good news is that the Holy Spirit will also dispense grace to walk through those "grey" things.  So this blog is all about another reason that I am grateful for the presence of Jesus, every day in my life.  And even on those "other" days.   When things do not go so well.  When the wave comes.  It is the presence that calms the wave of grief.

 Unfortunately, this "not quite true" even happens on some Christian pages.   I am so...SO blessed by those that I know I can trust fully.   By now you know that I love, trust, embrace The Passion Translation.  This morning I shared a post that reminded me of my last blog, about footprints.  How wonderful it is to read comforting words posted at the beginning and the end of the day.   These have become a life line for me.  I have to confess that some days are good days, but some are not.  Our family is going about the business of day to day life.  But at some unexpected places, each of us faces those waves of grief.  Last weekend, while at the conference, I was chatting with the woman in front of me in the food line.  We talked about where we lived and the session that had just finished.  And then she casually asked me "Do you have grandchildren?"  And and I said "Yes"!  This questions was followed by the moment I was not prepared for......"How many?"   I stopped short.  Tears came to my eyes and I almost could not speak.  Somehow I had not considered how to best answer that question.  It was one of those waves of grief that swamped my boat.  Thankfully, that new friend was very understanding and shared a much needed hug with me.  And we talked for a bit about Lucas. But that is just how we are getting by.  Some days are better than others.   I know that is is certainly the presence of Jesus that fills me and sustains me and helps me put one foot in front of the other each day.

So, when you are wondering "Is this really true?"  Stop.  Have you welcomed the presence of Jesus today?  Ask the Holy Spirit to increase discernment for you.  You will be amazed that things will clear up for you.  You will know which discussions you can join and which you can not.  You will also be assured of the truth.  And if you are having one of those bad days....for whatever reason....the presence of Jesus will smooth the way for you.

Now, here is the really good news for today.  All of the conference sessions on THE PRESENCE are available on audio files at The Chicago HUB.  Just look for the post on The Presence and you will find out how to get these messages.  I have to say each session was anointed.  You will be blessed no matter which you listen to.  The entire conference is worth a listen.  Let me know what you think!  I would love to hear how you are impacted by the presence!

Jesus, thank you so much for meeting me just where I am each day.  Thank you for providing me resources like The Passion Translation and The Chicago HUB.  Holy Spirit, encourage us all to use your discernment when we read and consider things on the internet.  Remind us to welcome your presence Jesus.  Amen

Prints in the snow.....

It snowed again today.  Just a light dusting.  It was actually raining and icy when I left the house for my small prayer group meeting.  The salt trucks were out in full force.  At some point during my meeting the rain turned to snow leaving a very pretty covering on the sidewalks and lawns.  I noticed these tiny very cute prints in the snow as I was walking to my car.  Some cute little birdie had been taking a stroll across the sidewalk.  And that got me thinking about the paths that we chose to walk.

Yesterday I blogged about the presence of Jesus, which was the focus of the conference that I attended.  My friends and I talked about this at our meeting this morning.  What a blessing it is to have like-minded people to discuss and mull over and contemplate things.   And today we practiced being in the presence of Jesus.  The presence of Jesus is not just reading the Bible or talking about Jesus or even praying.  All of those things CAN help you experience the presence of Jesus, but they are not THE presence.  You have to choose to welcome the presence of Jesus to experience it.  This blog is not about getting into a big discussion about the theology or traditions that might arise from the things I am sharing.  But I hope that it will make you stop and think and consider that very personal choice towards the presence of Jesus.

When I saw those little prints in the snow after talking with my friends, I immediately thought about this story.  When I was about four years old, I had a very powerful dream.  This was no ordinary dream, I knew that as soon as I woke up!  In my dream I was walking in a very beautiful garden.  When I close my eyes I can still see that garden!  The amazing thing is that at 4, I had never seen anything like this place.  It was green and lush with trees and plants everywhere.  There were flowers lining the path that wound its way through all the beauty.  Suddenly I was aware that there was a man walking with me, and he was holding my hand.  As we walked down that path, he told me exactly who he was.  He explained that the story that I had heard in Sunday School about Easter was really true. He went on to explain that Easter was not about the Easter Bunny and candy but how he died on the cross and came back to life.  And then he told me that I needed to always tell the truth about those things. I needed to share the truth with everyone that Jesus had died for all of us and was alive and living in that wonderful garden.  Even now, more than 55 years later, I can still feel his hand holding mine.  There is no doubt that after that dream, I knew exactly what path I was on and the footprints I was walking in.  Now it would be a wonderful story if my life had been a "walk in the park" (catch that phrase....just like my dream) from that point on.  But the truth is, that didn't happen.  I told my mom about this dream and she just sort of blew me off.  She told me it was just a dream and people didn't "talk about these things".  She told me that I should not tell anyone about this dream.  And I was obedient.  As a matter of fact, that dream was not in my mind until many, many years later.  It wasn't until I made a choice to welcome the presence of Jesus into my life, that the dream came back into my memory.   And I believe that this is the first time I have shared this on this blog.  Yet this is the truth.  And Jesus told me to share this truth with everyone.  In this dream was the presence of Jesus.

Okay, I will leave that for now.  I am sure that many of you are wondering what is going on.  I guess that this is the path I am on right now.  The path of sharing the truth.  And to encourage you to all make a choice to welcome the presence of Jesus.  Just ask!

Jesus, thank you for reminding me to share the truth.  Holy Spirit, bring the presence of Jesus to us and give us grace to welcome that presence every day and every hour of every day.  Thank you for friends and fellowship that strengthen us.    Help us all to see the path that you have laid out before us.  Thank you for little birds that leave footprints.   Amen

Letting it all sink in.....

I spent the last couple of days at a very intense conference at Chicago HUB with lots and lots of amazing speakers.  It was the most packed agenda I have ever seen at this kind of event.  The time just flew by.  There was hardly time to eat or sleep, let alone think about all that you had taken in during the last session.  As I was driving home last night (late, but not ridiculous since I had to be up at 5:00am this morning), I was trying to "sum up" what the conference on THE PRESENCE (of Jesus) had imparted to me.  The most interesting thing about all these really big name speakers...... every one spent time telling about their failings, their struggles, their "humanness".  Most also gave details of the very real lives they were leading before Jesus' presence changed the entire direction of their journey.  I was reminded over and over how powerful each persons testimony is.  The last speaker of the event was Heidi Baker of Iris Global .  I could not begin to tell you how many people crowded into that room to hear her speak.  There was not a spot anywhere....not just chairs but floor space as well.  Here are a few pictures.....

 This is Bobby Conner.  The most amazing thing is that he can quote Scripture - even less well known verses without opening the book.  He mentioned that he has the Bible memorized and I would believe it.  He is a powerful prophet in the body of Christ today.

 This is David Wagner praying for Nancy Magiera (the leader of the ministry that sponsored this conference).  This was his first time at any HUB event, and I am sure that he will be back.  He was amazing.

 And here is Heidi Baker and Nancy.  As you can see, I was blessed with front row seats at this sold out event.  

I didn't get pictures of Bruce Van Natta (I think he walked around so much that I never got a good shot!)  and also missed Steve Mitchell.   Steve led worship and really did bring the "PRESENCE" into the room.  There was an awesome intercessory team from Crusaders Church in Chicago.  This intercession drew me in, touched me and changed the atmosphere so quickly.  

I met and talked with so many nice people.  I ran into old friends that I hadn't seen for years.  And, interestingly I got a personal prophetic word from a young guy I had never met before.  The first thing he asked me was if I knew what my name means! Yes, that's right.  Just like my last blog.  So I have to assume that Jesus is really trying to say something to me about my name!  

I strongly encourage you to click on each of these names to learn about these ministries.  Heidi Baker shared that they are currently in a crisis with serious flooding.  Many of their bases are flooded and their home base in Pemba, Mozambique will be without electricity for a LONG TIME.  Like think months.(Just imagine no running water AND no electricity....)  Hundreds of thousands of people lost their homes and everything they own.  There is a great need for us all to respond to this urgent need.  Heidi's ministry feeds thousands of people EVERY DAY and this flood will complicate that process.  Would you please join me and pray for this ministry?  They need us all to stand with them at this time.  

Yes, it was a very full couple of days.  I have so much to chew on, digest, meditate on, think about, and take in.  I am very thankful for the pages and pages of notes and also the CD's of the sessions that a friend purchased.  I am so grateful for the many volunteers who helped carry out this BIG event, as well as Hank and Nancy Magiera, the founders of HUB.  I have been reminded that it is the presence of Jesus that has sustained me in the last very hard months. And it is the presence that brings me the hope and peace for the future.  

I'll blog tomorrow (or the next day) with more specifics about what the presence really is and how to experience that presence and what it means to me.  So wait for it!

Jesus, thank you for your body....your anointed leaders....my sisters and brothers.  Holy Spirit, what a joy and to be in the presence!  Jesus, bring forth an abundance for Rolland and Heidi Baker.  Bring a multiplication of resources to meet every need.  Thank you for connecting us all, even around the world!  Amen

What's in a name........

Today was actually warm!  The sun was shining and the snow was melting.  I went out without my big heavy winter jacket.  Wow!  And I managed to get many errands run before noon.  Grocery shopping done and put away.  Gas purchased, car washed (and it was seriously needed..so much road salt) and I even got my hair cut.  I had an interesting conversation about my name with the gal who cut my hair.  And then this showed up on my Facebook feed.

I immediately thought about my name, once again.  My full name is Lynnette which means (in some sources) a small flowing brook.   And the verse associated with my name is John  7:38 

 "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them."

But here is the really interesting thing.  Tonight when I looked up the meaning of my name, I found one place that said the meaning was "little lion"!  Well, if Jesus if the Lion of Judah, I guess it would be a very good thing to be a little lion!  

This is me and my mom, in the hospital when I was born.  When she gave me the name Lynnette it had nothing to do with the meaning of the name, or the verse that was associated with that name.  She actually wanted my name to be Annette (a nod to my mom's aunt Anna) but my dad wanted the name Linnay.  My mom also liked the name Linda so they sort of just compromised and I became Lynnette Rae.  But, we all know that God has a hand in our names.  And I know that this is the perfect name for me.  

After I really committed to Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I knew that the verse from John was my life verse.  I had a powerful experience with Jesus and heard him speak those words to me.  And, since that day in 1988, I have had that exact verse spoken to me over and over again.  As a matter of fact, there have been times that someone has just walked up to me and prayed that verse for me.  Today when I saw the idea in that first picture, that as Jesus fills me up, (and that river flows out of me) then I will be affecting the land around me, it added another layer to that river verse.  It is one thing to think about the living water flowing out, but to take it further and think about POSSESSING everywhere that the river flows........WOW!  

So here is what happened today at my hair cut.  Eileen,  the stylist, asked me if I liked the name Lyn.  This is a really interesting question that you don't normally hear during a hair cut.  My first thought was to wonder why she would ask that question.  I told her that my full name was Lynnette and yes, I liked my name.  She said that she hated her name and was thinking of changing it.  So she has been asking every client about their names and is trying to come up with a better name.  I asked what her parents thought about her changing her name.  She just told me that she does not have any relationship with them at all.  I was praying for the right words to share with her and decided to just share my name story.  When I told her that God knows our names and that often we discover the truth of the "fit" of our names in unusual ways.  I asked if she believed in Jesus and she said, "not really".  So I simply told her that I would be praying that she would have confirmation that she has the perfect name and that she would hear Jesus speaking to her.   Tonight I discovered that Eileen means beautiful bird.  So please join me in praying that this sweet young girl discovers why she has this wonderful name......and that she discovers Jesus in the process.

Jesus, reach out right now and touch Eileen.  Holy Spirit, draw her to Jesus and settle her spirit about her name.  Jesus thank you for speaking to me and giving me revelation about my name.  Thank you for these chance encounters that remind us that you have called us to share the good news.  Thank you for sunshine and warm weather and thank you for my name.  Amen