Birthday Blessings and the last couple of weeks.

I had such a nice birthday.  My day actually fell on Labor Day this year so it was easy to plan a family time together.  I wanted to show off my new carpeting so we met at my house.  As the kids get older it is so funny to watch how they spend their time here.  My box of toys was hardly touched at all, thanks to good weather and the ability for the kids to be outside.  All of us spent some time enjoying my screen porch.  Doug and Susie brought the great smoked meat - Ham and Ribs.  It was so good!  

It was certainly a bit sad since I was remembering my last birthday.  Ken and I went out to dinner and it was really the last time that we ate in a restaurant.  He was pretty sick for the remaining couple of weeks of his life.  But everyone admired my new carpet and there was a lot of good family time.   I had a few projects that needed doing and Tim was able to accomplish them all in less than half an hour.  I am so incredibly thankful for both Tim and Doug and the ways that they keep up with all the stuff I need done around the house.  It is a reminder for me of just how blessed I am to have my family close by.  

I was not expecting September 11th to hit me so hard this year.  I don't know if it was the 20th anniversary of that event, or the fact that it just compounded my grief after losing Ken.  But it was really difficult for me. It's so hard to believe that every kid in school (even most college students) have no memory of that day.  It seems so close and so real, even though I had no direct connection to the events that day.  I am pretty sure that all of the talk about 9/11 just made my grief come to the surface a bit more. Which is not a bad thing at all.  I know that I have not always been honest about how difficult some things have been for me.  Just this past week I had to fill out a form and needed to check the box "widowed" instead of "married".  It felt really terrible.  I know that it will get easier, but it was just one of those small things that felt like a very big thing at the time.  

 One of the best things to counter all these deep feelings, is spending time with the kids.  I am so thankful for each day spent just being with these littles and getting hugs from them.  Last week, even though it was mid September, Anna, Zeke and Ellie and I spent a couple hours in their pool.  I love swimming so much and the pool is really my happy place.  Even though the air was cool and the sun was low and behind trees, the water felt great!  I just love seeing those kids swim like little fishes.  Anna can only just barely touch on her tip-toes in that pool, but she swims all over!  It was certainly a day brightener for me.

I have been able to spend some great days with Grace and James also, since Susie has returned to work.  On one of the more pleasant days, James sat outside with us as Grace and I played.  We amused him with bubbles and he loves to watch the trees blow in the (ever present) wind!   It is hard to believe that he is almost 4 months old already!  Last week he grabbed onto a ring on his playmat and he is very close to rolling from his back to his front.   They grow up so fast!

I have been so thankful for the Bible Study that I am doing with a great group.  It is a study of Psalm 40.  I have always called this my "slimy pit" Psalm and for sure, it is my favorite Psalm.  Over 30 years ago this Psalm spoke to me and gave me a hope for the future.  At a time when life seemed so chaotic and so stressful and when I felt like I was in the slimy pit of despair, Jesus spoke this to me.  With a lot of hard work  and with many, many hours of prayer and counseling and teaching, I was able to finally feel my feet planted solidly on THE Rock (Jesus).  I could not begin to tell you how many times I have quoted this Psalm to others when they have felt themselves stuck in hard places.  This is a Psalm that not only contains the good news that God will help us out of those hard places, it includes the promise that He will change us.  And then the best and biggest hope filled line is this..... "Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him".   I don't know about you, but for me, knowing that my story might help others have hope and trust in Jesus is the very best thing.  I don't think it is an accident that this is the study I am doing right now.  I needed the reminder that Jesus has much more ahead for me and He will not leave me in any down or stuck place.  Here are the first three verses of Psalm 40...

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire.  He set my feel on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.   He put a new song in my  mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.  

If you are feeling a bit shaky right now, or stuck in place you can't seem to get out of,  I encourage you to read and meditate on this Psalm.  And which one of us doesn't feel that way right now with Covid and mask mandates and vaccine drama?   Take a few minutes and just let those first three verses sink in and feel Jesus helping settle your spirit.  I know I am not the only one who needs this right now.  Start each day with these three short verses and watch God's faithfulness shine through.  Then, let me know how Jesus has spoken to you in this!  

Jesus, thank you for bringing exactly what we need, when we feel desperate.  Holy Spirit, remind us that  Jesus is the ROCK we can place our feet on for a firm and steady foundation.  Bring the right people into our path that will help us to know you better.  Thank you for loving us and listening to our cries for help.  Thank you for the new songs your are bringing to us.  Amen

Home school reality.... the Truth

 Last week I snapped these three quick photos of Lia, Zeke and Ellie doing their home school work while Gwen and Anna were off at preschool.  There is so much reality in these photos!  First Lia...

Yes, this is pretty much how most 7th graders feel about school work.  Actually, she was not happy that I was taking her picture.  Most of her work is done independently with only a few subjects with mom.  I watched her go through her check list and complete each assignment.  

Ellie also does her work by herself.  She does have some of her work on the computer and while listening to her lessons, she usually does jigsaw puzzles.  I am amazed at how much she retains being able to listen while also keeping her hands busy.  On this day, I actually helped her find her new book to read (listen to) from the on line library and managed to get it set up for her.  I have to tell you this was a real accomplishment for me! 

Because Zeke is only in second grade, he needs a bit more help to complete his work.  So there were directions to explain and some sorting out of exactly which pages needed completion.  

Here is the "reality" of home school!  Zeke is doing his work on the floor.  Ellie is laying on the couch covered with a quilt.  Lia is sitting at the counter.  And this is just one day's reality..  The point is, they can be totally comfortable working at their own pace.  Lia pushes through her work and is often waiting for Ellie to finish her work, so that she can use the computer to do math.  Zeke has less work than his sisters and is glad for more play time.  I was thinking about all that happened during the four hours that Gwen and Anna were out of the house.  And I call this a win for home school. 

First of all, the kids were all up and dressed and had breakfast before Gwen left.  They all started their school work immediately (since nothing else happens until their school is done).  Zeke finished his work and then completed his chore for the day.  His job was to clean the loft and put away all the toys.  He then played for a good hour in his room.  Lia finished her school work and then cleaned the bathroom.  Ellie had to finish a book she was reading before the start of co-op the next day,  practiced piano and put away all of her "stuff" from downstairs. Lia helped me put away some of the folded laundry and we started new loads in the washer/dryer.  We all had lunch and cleaned up before Gwen and Anna got home.  During that time, I also got to have some eye-opening conversations with the kids.  

This week included one of those dates that will always cause you to stop and think.  It was September 11th.   The seventeenth anniversary of the destruction of the twin towers in New York, the plane crash in Pennsylvania, and the damage to the Pentagon.....the terrorist attacks on United States soil.  Given that Lia is 12, Ellie is 9 and Zeke is 7, I knew that they might not really have much information about the significance of the date.  Lia remembered hearing about the event during the past years.  Ellie and Zeke didn't know anything about it.  I gave some very general information about the attacks.  My thoughts were on all of the families who had been so effected by this tragedy.  Thankfully, we had no one close to us that was lost on that day.   I was thankful that our conversation about  9/11 took place at home.  

There are so many thoughts about home school versus public school.  This week brought me to yet another positive about home school for my family.  I am so thankful when hard topics come up, they can hear the truth from their family. 

I love that Jesus said "I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me".  Our culture can be very confusing.  There seems to be a lot of "facts" that just are NOT the truth.   I am so thankful that my children and grandchildren know WHO is the truth.  And that Jesus is the only truth you can always believe and trust.  There is so much in that one little Bible verse.  You could spend hours just meditating on that verse (which is John 14:16 by the way).  And this is just another reminder to me how blessed we are to have easy access to the TRUTH - to the Bible and to Jesus. This is a great place to be when you are remembering just how shaken we were, seventeen years ago, when we faced terrorism in our own land. 

Jesus, thank you for reminding me that you ARE the truth and you have left us with the Bible to lead and guide us.  Thank you for the freedom that we have here in the United States to educate our children freely and to have the Bible in our hands.  Holy Spirit, touch those that are still suffering from the effects of that attack seventeen years ago.  Give us all compassion for those that grieve.  Amen

Look for the helpers.....

Sunday was the 15th anniversary of the World Trade Center disaster.  It is another one of those dates that you just can't forget.  9/11.  September 11, 2001.  It is a date that touched every person.  I happened to be working at a spot that had television tuned to a morning news show.  I happened to be in view of the TV when they showed video of the first plane hitting.  I remember that I stood there wondering what was really happening.  By the time the second plane hit, it was clear that our country was under attack.  My first thought, of course, was for my family.  Fortunately I was able to get in touch with them and we all were safe at our homes by that evening.  There were so many people who did not have that outcome.  The strangest thing for Ken and I was the absence of airplanes flying overhead.  When you live so close to the "worlds busiest airport" - Ohare Airport -  as well as a second large international airport -   you are very used to seeing and/or hearing planes.  It was so quiet.  I remember feeling powerless to do anything to help.  

Last year Ken and I visited New York City.  It was my first ever trip there.   It was also the first week that the new "One World Trade" building's observation floor was open to the public.  We were fortunate to get tickets to this amazing place.  There are windows 360 degrees, so you can see all of the city.  We stood at this spot for some time, looking down at one of the memorial pools - which is actually the footprint of the destroyed building.  Notice the black square on the lower right corner. 

That view from the 102nd floor was breath taking.  When you see so many buildings crammed so close together, and then you consider the magnitude of the 9/11 disaster, you wonder how so many people survived.  While walking on those streets, I tried to imagine the panic and the terror that filled the hearts and minds of all of those souls trying to leave these crowded streets.  

Fifteen years after this event, I was remembering a quote from "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood".  Fred Rogers said that his mother always told him during any catastrophe to look for the helpers.  It is a good way to shift your focus away from the horror of the events and to see the humanity that presses forward to help one another.  One of my favorite spots in New York City was this church.  

 It is just a few blocks from the Twin Towers,  This place was a refuge for the first responders and all of the clean up crews in the weeks that followed.  This church opened its doors 24 hours a day and provided food, water and a place to sleep to thousand of tired and emotionally drained helpers.  This spot is the helper of the helpers!  Whenever I hear that quote from Mr. Rogers, this is the picture that comes into my mind.  How fitting that this place was preserved and used for such a purpose.

Ken and I toured the museum and walked among the many preserved artifacts from 9/11.  It is a tour that every American should take.  This is a place that we should all walk.  There were so many stories of the helpers.  It is a place to honor and remember those who died that day.  Ken and I got shirts from the museum store.

Yes, when times are hard, when bad things happen, people seem to rise up and realize that we can all help and make a difference.  That is when our lights are shining brightly and we realize that light destroys the darkness.

The outlet that I found to do SOMETHING after 9/11 was prayer.  I went to many interdenominational prayer meetings.  And it was during those times of prayer that I could feel the light pushing out the heavy darkness that had settled over the United States and also over me.  It was during those times of prayer, 15 years ago, that I understood exactly what terrorism does to people.
The light of Jesus was able to cast out fear.  And fear is the central operation of the enemy in terrorism.  Because of 9/11 and the impact these prayer times were for me, I view each new story of terrorism from a different perspective.  I always look for the helpers.  And I always look to THE helper - Jesus.  He is the light of the world.  In Him there is no darkness.  And in this dark world, those of us who carry the life of Jesus do indeed shine brightest when it is the darkest!

I realize that it is now September 13 and most people have breathed a sigh of relief that 9/11 has passed and they don't have to think about it anymore.  But I knew that I needed to wait a few days to share this blog.  It is good to step back and take another look when something is so difficult to think about.  So let this be your "another look" at this fifteenth anniversary of a terrible act of terrorism.  But I encourage you to see the helpers.  And even today, when a sad or terrible story comes across your newsfeed, look for the helpers.  And turn to Jesus.  He will fill you with His light so you can shine brightly today!

Jesus, thank you for stirring your people into action when crisis hit.  Thank you for the courage and boldness of the police officers and fire fighters who are often the first helpers on the scene.  Holy Spirit give us reminders to look for the helpers.  Stir us all to focus on your light, Jesus and guide our steps. Let us be helpers and light bringers!  Amen

Walking in someone else's shoes............

Isn't it just sweet when a little one puts on someone else's shoes and walks around?  Today Anna was wearing Lia's shoes and doing quite well walking around in them.  I was thinking about that old saying that you can't judge someone else unless you have walked in their shoes.  

Today is 9/11....... a day that most of us (over the age of 20 or so) will never forget.  One of those moments in time that each person knows exactly where they were and what they were doing when they first heard and/or saw those images that are forever in our minds..... a plane into a building...another plane into another building..... seeing them fall....a plane into another building....a plane into a field........ and then the aftermath of all of that.  The silent sky.  The TERROR.  

And then the years pass.  Life goes on.... but that event of 9/11 was somehow never far away.  This summer we visited New York and I blogged about the 9/11 memorials and museum.  

Here's another picture of the memorial.  Standing right over some of those names.  Those names.  This summer, as I looked at those names, all I could think about were the families of these people.  Those mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles... you know... the "loved ones" of all of the victims.  I remember in the days after 9/11, thinking about the families effected by this tragedy.  But I didn't really understand because I had "not walked in their shoes".

Isn't that true of so many different things?  People with cancer..... I can't really understand...I've never walked in their shoes.  You get the idea.  These are the groups that you don't ever want to be a part of. My family joined one of those groups last November, with the death of Lucas.  When I was standing there, looking at those names, it was just so real to me.  And I know it was because unfortunately, I had walked in those shoes of loss of a loved one.  An unexpected loss.  In 2015 I understood more..differently... than I did in 2001.

Yes, I think it is good to practice a pause.  What I am talking about is taking time to pause and consider.  Think about the situation, the person, the THING...whatever it is.... walk in their shoes.  Sometimes those shoes may seem small or maybe even really big.  Sometimes they just don't fit at all and you have to just very carefully try to hold your balance.   I didn't really do that on 9/11.  I remember just feeling a sense of relief that no one in my immediate circle was effected directly by this event.   But this summer, standing there, in that exact spot, the shoe fit.

Here is the thing about that pause I was talking about.  If during that pause we would just ask the Holy Spirit to show us exactly what that "shoe" is, you know, the one we should be walking in, we would do a better job at relating much more quickly.  I know that I forget so often, to even pause.  And then when I do, I don't ask for insight nearly enough.  I think this applies even on social media.  Facebook can be brutal with "instant" responses.  Let's all stop...pause...and let the Holy Spirit speak to us right now about 9/11.  I can say, for sure, this will not end in terror.  Peace, love, hope, faith, and even trust will be the result!

Jesus, thank you for reminding me that your love and care for us covers over anything!  Even 9/11!  What a comfort it is to know that you are as close as a pause.  Holy Spirit, help us to use this pause every day in all situations.  Be with all of those who lost loved ones in 9/11.  Fill us all with your peace and renewed hope in the assurance that Jesus reigns!  Amen

The sky was silent, the church was full....

I was in an interesting position twelve years ago.  As a church secretary I was usually alone in the church office for the better part of most days. An elder care daycare group used part of the church facility to provide daytime care for senior citizens that could not be left alone.  A normal part of my early morning routine was to visit with the staff and the elderly clients, while getting my morning cup of coffee from the kitchen.   That day, twelve years ago, was not different to begin with.  I had my coffee in hand and the staff member turned on the TV to the Today show, which the clients watched every morning.  And then I saw it - the plane fly into the building.  Almost as it happened.  And then the second plane.  The clients did not understand.  But the staff did and I did.  I rushed to my office and started tying to call my family.  My daughter, Gwen, was in her first year of teaching and had only been in class for a few weeks.  What a hard start to a teaching career.  She got called to the Principal's office (scary enough) and then told the news.  The school was on "lock down" until they decided what to do.  The interesting thing about the school was that it was a mix of Muslim and Jewish children with a few others thrown in.  The school was almost across the street from a Mosque.  A very difficult situation to say the least.  My son-in-law was still in college, commuting into the city every day, so there was a concern about him actually getting home. I was able to finally connect with Ken and Doug also.  I talked to my mom that morning. She was very stoic about the event. She had lived through many big life events like this. What was on her mind, was "Pearl Harbor" day. She related that for her, that day represented the war happening CLOSE to her. And I realized that was exactly how I felt. Suddenly the terrorist activity was to close for comfort.

Then, an amazing thing happened.  There were people just showing up at the church.  They wanted to come in and pray.  I opened the doors, turned on the lights, lit the candles and began to welcome the people in.  For most of that day, there was a steady stream of people coming and going from the church.  I replaced the kleenex boxes several times.  Not much work got done that day.  People just wanted to talk and to pray.  By the time the Pastor showed up, the parking lot was full.  It had never occurred to me that there might be a problem with opening the doors.  I simply did not care.  The people needed a place to pray and they needed a place to feel safe.  And for those who were drawn to the church, that's what it was.  I did not care if they were members or just people passing by.  So, I will always remember the day as a time when the church was full - all day.  And the people were praying. 

When you have lived for over 40 years so close to the "world's busiest airport", you are used to the constant sights and sounds of airplanes in their flight patterns.  We actually get planes from both of the Chicago airports.  So the absence of the airplanes was eerie.  The sky was silent. 

Unfortunately, the full church didn't last long.  Actually, I was told not to admit anyone the next day.  There were plans made to do an "organized" service.  However, those plans never actually happened.  Some people came to pray the next couple of days.  But the word was out that the church was not "opened".  And the people went elsewhere to pray. For a few weeks there was an upturn in church attendance. But gradually, as the weeks went by, the numbers fell back to the pre 9/11 numbers.   And within a few days, the airplanes were flying again.  And life returned to normal.  The NEW normal.  The post 9/11 normal.

 

One thing that has changed and stayed changed, is that we have had a flag flying on our house for the last 12 years.  I really can't imagine our house without that flag.  It is an important symbol and a reminder that many people have given their lives to preserve the freedoms represented by that flag.  I loved seeing all the flags show up after 9/11.  And there are still many, many flags displayed on houses, commercial buildings and public places.  In spite of the many failings of our government in the last months, I am proud to have that flag displayed on my home.  I believe that the United States of America were established and blessed by God.  He has a plan and purpose for our nation, for our land and for all of us.  And his plans will be fulfilled. No act of terrorists will stop the plan.  

Just like my mom, I  have a list of "big events" that are those days that everyone knows exactly where they were when it happened.  Included on my list is the day Kennedy was assassinated, the Moon landing, the Challenger accident, and then 9/11.  I am so glad that I am not living in fear after 9/11. 
In fact, for me personally, the last 12 years have been a time of a great increase of peace and joy.  These have been wonderful years filled with family, love and growing in understanding of Jesus and His great plans.  And these years have been filled with Thanksgiving. 

Jesus, thank you for your great plan. Jesus, please comfort all those who lost loved ones on 9/11. Holy Spirit, release more of your peace and joy even right now.  Help us to see all of the things that happen from your perspective, Jesus.  Give us a truly heavenly vision.  Yahweh, there is much unrest around the world today.  Strengthen your people and give them courage and boldness to stand in the midst of turmoil. Remind us to stand with them and cover them with our prayers.  Holy Spirit HOVER over them today.  Amen