Turning 70 when you sure don't feel it!

This is what turning 70 looks like in my family!  We had a wonderful day on Labor Day (which was actually a few days before I turned 70) celebrating being together.  I don't know what I would do without these wonderful people!  It was a glorious sunny day and fun to be at my house for this event.  Doug made pulled pork, which is a favorite of mine and Lia and Anna made me a "Sprite Cake".  This is really a 7upCake but made with Sprite (which is my drink of choice when it comes to soda).  

We are pretty good about taking family photos whenever we are together.  But usually, we miss getting a picture of me with Gwen and Doug.  This year I made sure to get that photo.  Also we never get a picture of the "adults".  Usually it is just me and the grandkids.  So I was extra happy to get a photo with Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie.  And notice, please, that Lia is in these photos!  This was the best birthday treat!  She actually came home from college and was able to be at this event.  The added perk of this was that she only had a 4 hour and 30 minute drive back to campus from my house.  Being a bit further west out of the madness of Chicago traffic makes for a quicker trip back to college for her.  Good food, good conversation and good time together.  There is no better birthday than that.

The following days were filled with gatherings with friends to celebrate my special day.  My calendar was filled with breakfast/lunch meetings and so much time together talking, laughing and praying.  I spent my actual birthday morning with Grace and Jimmy and then the late afternoon/evening with Gwen and Tim, Ellie, Anna and Zeke (as well as more friends who came to Gwen's for a ROCK teachers meeting).  All in all, it was a week of fun and fellowship.  No better way to spend a birthday.

As mentioned in previous blogs, I have sort of been dreading this BIG birthday turning 70.  But, as I write this blog, I have realized that each passing year has just gotten better!  A schedule change for me this year is allowing me to attend a Wednesday night dinner and Bible Study at my church.  I have time to have these breakfast/lunch meetings with friends.  Suddenly I have four regular "monthly" get togethers over a meal.  The best realization I have had is that learning and growing doesn't end at a certain age.  I have been stretched by the Bible Studies I am in right now.  I love when I can say, "Wow, I never knew that before!" or "That is a new way to think about that!"   More than anything, I don't want to get stuck in old ways, old thoughts, old ideas.  As I said in my previous blog, I want this new decade to count!  I'm not sure what exactly that means, but I have that target to shoot towards.  I don't have any immediate plans or even ideas, but I feel open to whatever comes my way.  

Today I am celebrating that the antibiotic I received after an urgent care visit last weekend, has cleared up both my sinus infection and urinary infection.   Thankfully, I was never terribly sick with either thing, just a bit aggravated by the symptoms.  The sinus problem is an old one that often strikes with fall allergies around my birthday.  The nonstop headache is reason enough for medicine.  The other symptoms made an urgent care visit more necessary.  So in spite of entering my 70's with a doctor visit, I am thankful for insurance coverage for the visit and medicine at no cost out of pocket.  

This song represents so much to me .  Goodness of God speaks of God's faithfulness over my life.  Take a moment, click this link.  I know this is true - God is running after me and you!  

Jesus, thank you for friends, family and fellowship.  Holy Spirit, continue to remind us that you have been faithful to us.  Birthdays are just days on the calendar. Jesus you are with us all the days of our life.  Thank you for another day to praise you, to worship you, to learn and grow.  Amen

A birthday for a new teenager and time with a "three-nager"

Yes, here I am with yet another birthday post...and there are still more to come in May!  It has always been a busy month for me since both Ken and my mom also had May birthdays.  May 14th would have been Ken's birthday number 72.  It is really hard to believe that this is the fourth birthday since he died.  Lately I have been realizing just how young Ken was when he died.  Part of this is my looming 70th birthday.  And I still feel pretty young.  And yet, here I am with another teenager grandchild!

Zeke turned 13 on what would have been my mom's 109th birthday.  Zeke was born just a few weeks after my mom died and it was special that he shares her birthday.  What an incredible guy Zeke is!  In typical teen fashion, all he wanted for this birthday was a particular video game that includes a full driving function.  So, along with Gwen and Tim (who purchased all the accessories), I gifted the actual game! 

He was one very happy 13 year old.  Of course I also got him some running gear since he is planning to run a half marathon in July.  He is following after his mom and dad for sure!

I also got to deliver his gift from Uncle Doug and Aunt Susie, which was just about as exciting for him as the video game stuff - a whole lot of fishing gear..  

Since Gwen and Tim live on a lake, there are lots of opportunities for fishing and Zeke and his friend spend many hours fishing.  I love that Chandler managed to get in this picture!  Whether it is gaming, running, fishing, volleyball, basketball or any other of the various favorite things, Zeke is a busy young man.  He just finished up seventh grade as a homeschooler.  He is marking time until he is a high schooler and can go on Boulder mission trips.  He loves roller coasters and will spend as much time as he can at Great America (they have memberships since they live so close). I love that this now teenager still wants to give his grandma hugs when I leave.  He is almost as tall as me now! Sigh.  

Once a week I get to spend the day with Jimmy while Grace is in school.  He is a busy almost three year old!  One of my days with Jimmy, I left the room for a minute and forgot my phone sitting on the table.  Later I discovered these gems in my photo library...

This kid managed to open my phone, enter my password (which all the kids know), find the camera and take these selfies!  This is certainly thee work of a "three-nager".  He is full of life and spends hours running!  Lately he is Buzz Lightyear on a mission.  He holds his arms out and screams "To infinity and beyond!" while "flying" around the room!  Last week he wanted me to "fly" around with him and after several turns around the yard, grandma sat down and declared her "plane" in the hanger for repairs!  

Both of these special boys have really soft hearts.  I see the same spirit in each of them.  They care deeply about others and really want to do the right thing. Right now Zeke is faced with many older kids who might not be the best influence.  And Jimmy is having a hard time listening and obeying.  Not easy issues to work through at three and thirteen.  I am confident that Jesus has plans and purposes for both of these boys and will help them through these "growing pains" as they mature.  I have heard recently that spending time with your grandchildren actually extends your life!  I am so thankful that I have been able to spend time with all of my grandchildren.  I love watching the girls talk about clothes, hairstyles, jewelry and nails and I love hearing all about video games, crazy roller coasters, Buzz Lightyear and Spidey.  All of it is so rewarding.  I admit that I often see flashes of Gwen and Doug when I am with the kids.  Zeke's excitement about the fishing stuff reminded me of the time Doug and I were visiting my mom in Minnesota and he proclaimed, "Land of 10,000 lakes and no where to fish!"   It is my constant prayer that the kids will benefit from the time I spend with them, as much as it will benefit me. Especially around Ken's birthday, I reflect on just how much he is missing out on.  One thing is certain, being with all the grandchildren brings me joy and laughter and love.  And I wouldn't miss this for the world.  

Don't miss out on the chance to be a blessing and be blessed! If you don't have children or grandchildren of your own, find some in your neighborhood or your church.  These kids love to share their worlds with others.  It's time for Vacation Bible School.  Volunteer to help out.  You will be blessed (tired but blessed)!

Jesus, thank you for reminding me that blessings are all around.  Holy Spirit, give us all courage to step out of our comfort zones and take steps to meet new people.  Thank you Jesus for the plans and purposes and destiny you have for all of us.  Help us all to slow down and find joy in the little things.  Bless all the children, Jesus, as they grow.  Give patience and peace to all the adults in their world.  Amen

Another birthday.... how is possible that I am 69 years old?

On Labor Day, my entire family came over to help me celebrate my 69th birthday.  It was actually the following Wednesday, but I was actually born on Labor Day so it appropriate!  Even though Micah (Lia's boyfriend) and Samuel (Ellie's boyfriend) couldn't join us, we are still a large group these days!  Doug and Susie brought Doug's "smoked" meat - pulled pork and chicken - two of my favorites.  Lia made a 7up cake, again one of my favorites.  The kids colored/wrote me such sweet cards.  I actually get teary seeing them sitting on the mantle.  One thing is sure, there is always fun when we are together.  I love that we always take a picture of me with the grandkids.  It is such an amazing way to watch them all grow.

It was a HOT day for September 4th, but the kids played in the park behind my back yard.  Lia was the resident bubble blower and all the kids chased bubbles.  Zeke and Jimmy played a bit of Frisbee. 

It wasn't long before the heat drove us all inside.  I might not have room at a table for all of us to sit down together, but we all manage to eat in the same room!  Some might be at the coffee table, sitting on chairs, or eating on the couch.  It still feels like a family dinner to me! You do what you have to do when you live in a small house.    I love to see the kids find their favorite ways to entertain themselves here at Grandma's house.  I have a couple of storage cubes with a few toys and art things.  Anna had brought her new favorite game card game (I think it is called Taco, Goat, Cheese, Pizza) which was enjoyed by several groups of people!

Jimmy did really well in spite of the many, many things around my house that are not totally "child proof".  He was fascinated by my stairs and wanted to go up and down. (The stairs are gated at their house).  He has also just had a growth spurt that allows him to reach the light switches, and there are plenty of new switches to discover at my house.  Either Gwen or Susie snapped this photo of Jimmy and I and you can tell he is saying "cheese"!

It actually got a bit cloudy and somewhat cooler in the afternoon, so we all took a walk to the local playground in my subdivision.  This playground was not here when Gwen and Doug were little, but all of the grandkids remember coming to this park.  

All of the kids had a great time.  Grace managed the monkey bars with ease.  Jimmy climbed and climbed and went on the slides over and over.  Anna, Grace and Zeke played "Wood Chips" which is a grade school game that this grandma just doesn't understand.  Lia tried to explain it to me and what I heard is sort of a version of Marco Polo except not in the swimming pool and also involves sort of a tag thing.  Anyway, the kids get it!  On the way home we walked to the "bridge" over the small creek that runs behind our subdivision.  On the way, I snapped this photo of Zeke and Jimmy.  I just love these special cousin memories!

On my actual birthday, I was at Doug and Susie's with Jimmy and Grace.  Doug was actually out of town for work, so Susie got dinner delivered!  She came home with cupcakes and we had a nice dinner and desert.  Grace always wants me to stay for dinner, so this was special treat!  It was a wonderful conclusion of my birthday celebrations. I didn't get any pictures that day, but it will still be a special memory for me.  

For the last year, I have been part of a newly formed ministry, Sunbeams Uganda.  If you click on the link, you can see all that has happening in a small, very rural village, Kijjude in Central Uganda.  When you are focusing on a people group that has so little resources, so little opportunities, so many needs it can be overwhelming.  The Sunbeams team in the USA is small, but dedicated to bringing the light of Jesus into this village.  Kelly, the founder of the ministry, along with Mark (who is Ugandan) had a dream to encourage, equip, and empower the people of this village and it all started with bringing fresh, clean water through the digging of a community bore hole.  In the last year Sunbeams has purchased a plot of land and is in the process of building a Christian primary school.  The children who are able to go to school (who have families that can afford the school fees) it is a four kilometer (about 2.5 miles) walk, through jungle to school! There is now a sewing school in operation and over 70 women have been given a chance to provide for their families through sewing.  Sunbeams has provided bibles and chairs for the local church, as well as provided Bible studies and seminars.  Doctors and dentists have come to the village and provided much needed services to families that would not have been able to travel to receive care.  This is all pretty miraculous, considering this has all happened in just over a year.  The Sunbeams Christian Primary School is still a work in progress.  There is much to be accomplished but the prayer is to be completed and open for classes to begin in January, 2024. (which is the normal beginning of the school year in Uganda).  There is a newly built  playground on the grounds of the school, something these kids did not have before.

  

The United States is truly the land of opportunity.  We take so much for granted here.  My grandkids have nice houses, clothes and shoes, available dentist and doctors, and the ability to make their dreams come to life.  I know that Jesus has a plan and destiny for each one of these precious people.  The hope and encouragement that this village needs is Jesus. Sunbeams can't succeed in this mission without the support of people like you.  Please take a moment and click on the website link above and see more about the very needed outreach for the hundreds of people who call Kijjude home. Please pray with us that the many (big) hopes and dreams we have, will be successful!  

 Jesus, thank you for children and playgrounds.  Holy Spirit, remind us that age doesn't matter at all in the Kingdom of heaven.  We are all children of God.  Give us courage and boldness to step out and share our faith.  Keep us mindful of the great needs of those near to us, in our own neighborhoods and cities and also those half way around the world.  Give us hearts and hands that are willing to share from the bounty you have given to us.  Thank you for health and family.  Amen

 

Celebrating a 16th Birthday and a 1st Birthday!

Lia's 16th Birthday happened over Memorial Day weekend - of course!  She was born just minutes before midnight the day BEFORE Memorial Day, so she shares her day with a holiday most years.  She had her "friends" party on the day of her birthday.  I didn't actually get together with her to celebrate until a week later.  But it was a really fun event for this Grandma!  If I gave you a list of the gifts that this girl was thrilled with, you would be surprised!  There were several "car" items (Think a brand new licensed driver!) including a car trash can.  And then there were many "organizing" items for her room.  

One of the most surprising items (to me) was a Lego Architecture set that she had mentioned wanting a while ago.  Yes, Lego's are still a great gift, even when they are 16!

In a rather back to back fashion, Doug and Susie had Jimmy's 1st birthday party.  It was a beautiful, cool day that allowed everyone to be outside.  Doug and Susie had decked out their back yard with plenty of tables and also lots of activities for all of the kids.  I loved this opportunity to snap some pictures of the grandkids all together.  Lia at 16 and Jimmy at 1 are the bookends!  And their birthday's are just 4 days apart!  

It was so fun to see everyone after two years of no gatherings (thanks to covid).  The kids had a wonderful time and the cake was a real hit!  

Jimmy was a bit unsure and actually cried after the singing but with a bit of encouragement, finally dug int the cake.  The funniest moment was when there was an attempt to remove the cake at this point.  And Jimmy was not happy!  Needless to say, they brought the cake back.. 

We ended the party with some photos inside and just a bit of family time.  It was a long day for Jimmy and for the rest of us!  I don't think anybody is used to parties anymore!  I was tired by the end of this day.

I jotted down some of my thoughts about being 16, in a short letter to Lia.  I realized that she is just at that point where it feels like there are some "big" decisions on the horizon and I am sure that can cause anxiety.  I wanted to remind her that you never know what life will bring your way and that the best plans just might not work out.  And the bigger thing is that God has a plan and purposes for each of us. Even if our journey is not a straight path, Jesus can always get us to where He wants us to be. It is unfortunate that somehow our young people today seem to think that they need their entre life figured out before they leave high school.  There are many kids spending hours playing sports, hoping to get scholarships to the best college for those sports.  Or agonizing over which major or career choice they should make.  I bet if you asked 100 people there would be very few who actually ended up in the exact place that they had in mind while making these choices as a 16 or 17 year old. But most people would say, somehow they just ended up in the best place for them. I know, through the many twists and turns of my life, Jesus was gently guiding and arranging opportunities, to get me just where He wanted. And he is still urging me onward! 

There was a song this morning in church called Becoming by Jason Gray that really spoke to me.  This is the last bit of the song.

It's progress not perfection, not arrival, it's direction

It's the living and the learning, not the finish line but the journey

I'm becoming,  who I am

I'm still becoming.  I'm always becoming

This is a good message - even for me at my age!  I am still becoming!  I am always becoming!  These are hope filled words for sure.  We can always change and grow.  We can totally turn around and go a different direction.  We don't have to be perfect, we just need to keep on, keeping on.  Those words I penned to Lia have been in my mind over the last weeks and now I understand why.  It's because I am STILL becoming!  I don't have to try to figure out what is ahead for me in this new season of my life.  And it's a great reminder for all of us, with Jesus, we are always becoming.  Until the end of our days here on earth, we are in progress.  Jesus can and does continue to challenge us to be His hands and feet and voice to the world.  Whether we are 1 or16 or 67 or 99!  Celebrating birthdays can really make you think.  And sometimes that is a very good thing.

Jesus, thank you for celebrations that bring us together with those we love. Holy Spirit, continue to challenge all of us to be bold to show Jesus to the world around us.  Jesus, remind us that you are always with us on the journey.  Thank you for the hope you bring to us each day.   Amen

Time for another birthday celebration... and a song that touches my soul

Ellie shares a birthday with Doug and this year our celebration got delayed a few days.  It didn't really matter that much to 13 year old Ellie that a few days passed between the actual day and our time together.

 Her gifts were a wonderful mix of things that bridged the time between childhood and young adult.  She has been sewing for many years and this year requested fabric, patterns, patches and threads, which I was happy to provide.  She loves American Girl dolls and asked for some special clothes for her dolls including a Girl Scout uniform and a Ballet costume- two things very near and dear to Ellie's heart.  

All of these gifts  represent well the things that Ellie loves.  She has said for years that she will be a fashion designer when she "grows up".  Dressing those American Girl dolls is certainly part of Ellie's expression of interest in fashion and design.  She has been a girl scout for several years and has embraced that yearly cookie sale.  I haven't asked her for a total number sold this year, but at one Saturday sale outside of grocery store, she told me she sold 300 boxes! I brought home way to many boxes myself!  It seems that if I blink, these grandchildren grow up in seconds.  Here is Ellie, a teenager!  I can't wait to watch her grow and change in the years ahead!

Even with the high price of gas, I've been doing a bit of driving lately.  After some of the covid restrictions have been lifted, I've had the urge to get out of the house.  I've also had the chance to connect with some friends that I have really been missing.  During one of those drives, I heard on song on the radio that really touched me.  It is a a song with a simple (and well known) message.  But when I heard it, I heard it with very different meaning.  The song, The Commission by Cain  brought me back to when I was about four years old.  Click the link and listen to the song, then I will tell you the story. 

Right around this time of year, in 1959, I had a dream that has shaped my life.  You know that there is a message in a dream when you just don't let go of it.  I have vivid memories of this dream - even now over 60 years later.  In the dream, I was walking down a path in the most beautiful garden I have ever seen and Jesus was walking with me.  He was holding my hand (a feeling I can not forget) and talking with me.  Jesus told me that the story of Good Friday and Easter was true.  He had died, but he was alive now.  And then he said, "Go and tell everyone what I have told you! Easter is not about candy and the Easter Bunny.  I died for you and I love you and I am with you always."  Needless to say, when I told my mom the dream (I was very excited) - she told me "We don't talk about these things."   So, because I was 4, I followed my mom's direction.  I never told anyone about the dream.  And I never told anyone about Jesus either.  For a very long time.  Like 25 years or so.  When I first heard the song "The Commission", it was as if I was back in that dream.  There is one line in the song that says... "you have a purpose and I have a plan".  That line took my breath away.  The words plan and purpose have been part of my life and have shaped my messages about Jesus.  In so many ways, it feels like this song was speaking directly to me.  What a great reminder for me - for all of us - that we have a message to share with the world.  It doesn't matter if you are 4 or 40 or even  67 or maybe 90 - we can tell the world about Jesus.  I hope that this song speaks to you today.  It has been an encouragement to me that I have a message worth sharing.  And so do you.... 

Jesus, thank you for loving children and trusting your messages to even the littlest ones.  Thank you for churches, for teachers and leaders, for pastors and parents that share the truth of the Bible with the world.  Give us courage and boldness to speak to others.  Give us wisdom and grace to know how and when to share.  Thank you for your plans and purposes for each of us.  Amen

Birthday Blessings and the last couple of weeks.

I had such a nice birthday.  My day actually fell on Labor Day this year so it was easy to plan a family time together.  I wanted to show off my new carpeting so we met at my house.  As the kids get older it is so funny to watch how they spend their time here.  My box of toys was hardly touched at all, thanks to good weather and the ability for the kids to be outside.  All of us spent some time enjoying my screen porch.  Doug and Susie brought the great smoked meat - Ham and Ribs.  It was so good!  

It was certainly a bit sad since I was remembering my last birthday.  Ken and I went out to dinner and it was really the last time that we ate in a restaurant.  He was pretty sick for the remaining couple of weeks of his life.  But everyone admired my new carpet and there was a lot of good family time.   I had a few projects that needed doing and Tim was able to accomplish them all in less than half an hour.  I am so incredibly thankful for both Tim and Doug and the ways that they keep up with all the stuff I need done around the house.  It is a reminder for me of just how blessed I am to have my family close by.  

I was not expecting September 11th to hit me so hard this year.  I don't know if it was the 20th anniversary of that event, or the fact that it just compounded my grief after losing Ken.  But it was really difficult for me. It's so hard to believe that every kid in school (even most college students) have no memory of that day.  It seems so close and so real, even though I had no direct connection to the events that day.  I am pretty sure that all of the talk about 9/11 just made my grief come to the surface a bit more. Which is not a bad thing at all.  I know that I have not always been honest about how difficult some things have been for me.  Just this past week I had to fill out a form and needed to check the box "widowed" instead of "married".  It felt really terrible.  I know that it will get easier, but it was just one of those small things that felt like a very big thing at the time.  

 One of the best things to counter all these deep feelings, is spending time with the kids.  I am so thankful for each day spent just being with these littles and getting hugs from them.  Last week, even though it was mid September, Anna, Zeke and Ellie and I spent a couple hours in their pool.  I love swimming so much and the pool is really my happy place.  Even though the air was cool and the sun was low and behind trees, the water felt great!  I just love seeing those kids swim like little fishes.  Anna can only just barely touch on her tip-toes in that pool, but she swims all over!  It was certainly a day brightener for me.

I have been able to spend some great days with Grace and James also, since Susie has returned to work.  On one of the more pleasant days, James sat outside with us as Grace and I played.  We amused him with bubbles and he loves to watch the trees blow in the (ever present) wind!   It is hard to believe that he is almost 4 months old already!  Last week he grabbed onto a ring on his playmat and he is very close to rolling from his back to his front.   They grow up so fast!

I have been so thankful for the Bible Study that I am doing with a great group.  It is a study of Psalm 40.  I have always called this my "slimy pit" Psalm and for sure, it is my favorite Psalm.  Over 30 years ago this Psalm spoke to me and gave me a hope for the future.  At a time when life seemed so chaotic and so stressful and when I felt like I was in the slimy pit of despair, Jesus spoke this to me.  With a lot of hard work  and with many, many hours of prayer and counseling and teaching, I was able to finally feel my feet planted solidly on THE Rock (Jesus).  I could not begin to tell you how many times I have quoted this Psalm to others when they have felt themselves stuck in hard places.  This is a Psalm that not only contains the good news that God will help us out of those hard places, it includes the promise that He will change us.  And then the best and biggest hope filled line is this..... "Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him".   I don't know about you, but for me, knowing that my story might help others have hope and trust in Jesus is the very best thing.  I don't think it is an accident that this is the study I am doing right now.  I needed the reminder that Jesus has much more ahead for me and He will not leave me in any down or stuck place.  Here are the first three verses of Psalm 40...

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire.  He set my feel on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.   He put a new song in my  mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.  

If you are feeling a bit shaky right now, or stuck in place you can't seem to get out of,  I encourage you to read and meditate on this Psalm.  And which one of us doesn't feel that way right now with Covid and mask mandates and vaccine drama?   Take a few minutes and just let those first three verses sink in and feel Jesus helping settle your spirit.  I know I am not the only one who needs this right now.  Start each day with these three short verses and watch God's faithfulness shine through.  Then, let me know how Jesus has spoken to you in this!  

Jesus, thank you for bringing exactly what we need, when we feel desperate.  Holy Spirit, remind us that  Jesus is the ROCK we can place our feet on for a firm and steady foundation.  Bring the right people into our path that will help us to know you better.  Thank you for loving us and listening to our cries for help.  Thank you for the new songs your are bringing to us.  Amen

It has been a very long February.....

I know that February is the shortest month of the year, but in 2021 it has seemed so LONG!  On February 2, the groundhog predicted 6 more weeks of winter and it sure looks like he was correct.  For the first time this winter, we have had snow, snow and more snow.  Topping that off, it has been COLD!  Not just chilly, but down right cold.  Below zero type cold.   I really have no excuse for not blogging much, other than there is not much to blog about!  

Actually, the end of January and the beginning of February mark two very special birthdays in our family.  Anna turned 7 and Grace turned 4.  Because, thanks to Covid, almost everything is being done on line, I ordered a balloon delivery for both girls.  Anna's birthday was first, and I was actually at their house when they were delivered. 

It really is the small things when you are young.  She was delighted with these.  So much fun to see and be a part of her excitement. Because Gwen and Tim's family have all had Covid, Gwen decided to look into a "real" party for a few of Anna's friends.  Gwen found a trampoline park that actually has been renting out the entire facility for private parties.  So instead of a crazy, crowded and scary jump park, Anna and her friends and Lia, Ellie, and Zeke had the place to themselves.  It was a jumping great time on Anna's actual birthday!  

Even Tim got into the fun and it was so good to see the kids actually out and having fun.  There were just a few extra kids added to this party, and everyone had such a fun time.  It was a safe place with only 10 kids.  I am so thankful for birthday fun with the kids.

Grace's birthday was next.  I arranged for her balloons to arrive on her actual birthday.  Doug and Susie planned a Zoom party for Grace on the Saturday after her birthday. Since Susie is pregnant, the Zoom party is the safest option for their family.  Again, so thankful that there are options during this crazy pandemic!

Grace was just as excited about her balloons.  It was so fun to chat with her about her birthday.  I didn't get any pictures of her party, although I did "attend" the Zoom event.  It was so fun to get to "meet" her friends from preschool and to see how much all of her friends had grown in the last year.  I did get to visit with Grace one day last week and we played outside for a few minutes.  

Even though it was only around 12 degrees, we had a great time. Grace found lots of icicles and we made snow angels and climbed the snow hills.  Even a short visit does the soul good and I felt refreshed after spending these few minutes with Grace.  

The biggest news of the last couple of weeks - I managed to get my first Covid vaccine yesterday.

I really don't know how I got the appointment, other than to say it was clearly a God thing.  I had been trying to find open appointments over the past two weeks, even setting an alarm and waking at midnight to try to find available times within 50 miles of my house.  Although I am healthy, I am over 65 and therefor qualified for a vaccine.  Because of Susie's pregnancy, there is a bit more push for our family to get vaccinated before the baby comes.  I just happened to look at 11;30 in the morning one day, and there were appointments available less than 10 miles from my home.  I jumped on it, and got my appointment.   I am very thankful.  I haven't had any reaction at all after the first shot and will be counting the days until I can get the second shot - already scheduled for March 12.  

So that is what has been happening in our family these last couple of weeks.  For me personally, this has been a really great time of refocusing on the things that are really important.  I have been doing more Bible reading, more Bible study and also just spending more time away from Social Media, news, current events - well, you get the idea.  I have been working on some projects and also doing a jigsaw puzzle.  The most interesting thing, is my struggle around grieving.  I don't know exactly what I thought these months would look like after Ken's death, but this was not it.   There are no books/information about how to handle grief along with Covid.  Since I have promised total truth telling on this blog, the reality is that I have felt really settled and at peace during this time.  So much so, that I actually feel a bit guilty that I am not doing worse right now.  People expect that losing a partner of 46 years would send you into a tailspin.  But it has not been like that for me.  I think that Ken's illness' over the last three years has prepared me for this time.  While the last four months have had a lot of details to work through, it has not been traumatic.  I know that having my kids help and support has been a major part of the ease of this time.  Also not having financial concern brings things to a different place.  For these things I am so thankful.  Mostly, I know that being grounded in Jesus and having assurance of His care and provision has given me that peace I am feeling.  I know that every person has their own journey and their own grief experience.  If I have one piece of advice about grief, it would be to see each person as an individual and not to assume how they are doing.   I have felt that my current "peace and calm" is kind of hard for some people to deal with.  They don't know how to react when I tell them I am doing well.  As a matter of fact, a few people just assume I am lying about my feelings.   Honestly, other than the stress from Covid with making any plans to travel, I don't have much stress.  It is funny how this makes some people so uncomfortable.  I couldn't tell you what is ahead for me.  I really don't know.  But I am not alone in feeling this way.  Because all of us have more or less put our life on hold this last year, everyone is pretty much feeling the same way. Most of us just want some "normal".  The thing I have come to accept in the last months has been that normal doesn't exist anymore.  We are always moving forward and the past is in the past.  While we may resume more activities, we may travel, we may have more freedom to move around our communities, nothing will ever look like it was before Covid.  And that is good.  Each day is a new day.  Let's all just celebrate every new day with joy and thanksgiving. Then we will be filled with that peace that passes understanding.

Jesus, thank you for your constant presence with us.  Holy Spirit, keep our eyes trained on Jesus and our minds set on things above.  Remind us that we are in the world, not of the world.  Give us courage and boldness to continue to walk on in joy and thankfulness.  Give us grace with others who may not be in the same place as we are.  Help us to show your love, Jesus, to those around us.  Amen