Couldn't believe what we saw tonight.........

So today Ken and I ran a bunch of errands.  We were very successful, for the most part.  We even fit in looking at some new cars (both of us are considering a new vehicle - so there is a lot of information to gather!).  I stopped and picked up some stickers for my upcoming scrapbooking weekend, and yes, that included some Christmas stickers.  I will be working on the end of 2013 and that includes Christmas!  The store was totally decked out for Christmas.  Trees, lights, wreaths, ornaments and even wrapping paper.  REALLY????? Who would need wrapping paper for Christmas on Halloween?  I was thankful to get these Christmas stickers for 50% off.   But then on our drive home, on a winding road near our house, there was a house with a fully lit up Christmas tree in the front window.  We could not believe it, but there it was.  Sigh.  I am really not ready for Christmas.

Doesn't it seem like we are just in a rush for well, everything? I for one, would like to slow down a bit.  Tonight we turn our clocks back one hour, and gain an hour of sleep.  I am thankful for that extra bit of time.  Not everyone in my family is happy to see this clock changing.  We agreed tonight that it would just be better if we left the time in one position.  Ken would opt for "double daylight savings time" if he could!  I just wish for one standard time that we would stick with.

When I was with the grandkids this past week, I listened to Ellie working on her Bible memory verses....Psalm 23.  So I have been "parking" on that Psalm this week.  Tonight I realized just how right on that was....

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul,

He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Your rod and your staff they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever.  

This is in the New International Version. Then I looked at my current "favorite" - The Passion Translation....

I confess that I spent a lot of time focused on verse 4 in this translation.  This past year has felt a lot like the valley of deepest darkness for me and my family.  Even in that, I have felt so close to Jesus.  He has been leading me through it.  And that is the most important thing of all.  Jesus does not leave us in that place of darkness.  He helps us ALL THE WAY!  The next couple of weeks will be a time when we really need to know and feel the presence of Jesus with us as we face both the remembrance of Lucas' birth as well as the anniversary of his death.  I especially love the end of this Psalm in the Passion Translation.... when my life is through, I'll return to Your glorious presence to be forever with You!   So with that wonderful reminder of the incredible place where Lucas is, it will be a bit easier to get through these weeks.

Even though I might want to rush through these weeks, I don't think I will.,  I will just walk through, knowing that Jesus is close to me!

Jesus, thank you so much for all that you are showing me.  Even when that is Christmas on Halloween.  Help us all to stay focused on the truth that you are leading us so that we don't get overcome with fear and doubt and worry.  Thank you for your great love for us.  Amen

My trip to the store today.....

So I followed through on my blog from yesterday.  Here is the Nativity set I got today for $9.00.  The box had been opened and the stable has a bit of a "ding" in the roof.  But I thought it looked just fine.  The figures are actually some kind of breakable material.....not sure what.  But they look very nice.  As an added bonus, something that you don't often see in "inexpensive" sets, the baby Jesus comes out of the manger!  I was very surprised when I saw that.  Now this set doesn't have an angel, a star or a camel, but all things considered, it is a pretty nice set!  I am quite pleased with it.  Sometimes you get the nicest things at the last minute.

I actually picked up this set at the Walmart.  I was there to do my regular grocery shopping and decided to check their Christmas aisle before I went anywhere else.  After adding this set to my cart, I continued on with the remainder of my shopping.  Something interesting that I have discovered in the last couple of months, Monday is not the best day to shop.  At least not at Walmart.  Many of their shelves are very picked over.  Even the cereal aisle looked like a pack of hungry wolves had descended on it.  Thankfully, I was able to complete my list and head to the check out lanes.  I stopped to look in the book section, and then this happened......  There was a young gal with a beautiful little baby boy in a car seat, nestled in a cart right next to my cart.  I couldn't help but stop and admire him.  He was clearly very "newborn".  When the mom noticed me looking at the baby, she smiled at me.  I guess it is the "grandma" thing.  I don't look very threatening and she must have noticed how seeing that baby sort of stopped me in my tracks.  When I could finally breathe, I smiled back and told her what a beautiful baby she had.  And then I walked away as quickly as I could.

Yes, this was one of those unexpected "waves" that just seems to catch me when I least expected it.  I know that when you go to Walmart you can expect to see anything.  And that includes babies.  That cute little baby just brought a flood of sorrow and missing into my heart.  But I was able to take some deep breathes and pull it together.  I went to the check out and completed my shopping trip.   When I got to the car, I realized how surprised I was at the emotion that hit me.  But, I am working on being gentle on myself.... not expecting things to just be okay.  And this was a time that I needed to remember that.

I blasted the Christmas Carols in the car on the way home.  And remembered that I had that new Nativity Set in my trunk.  Yes, changing the focus of my thoughts to Jesus, was certainly helpful. I was able to regain a large measure of peace before I pulled into my driveway.  If I have found out one thing since Lucas died, it is that there is no playbook for grief.  It is a personal and very difficult journey.  It is just a path that each person has to walk on their own.  I have been thinking about Psalm 23 lately...... "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he refreshes my soul.  He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.  Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.  Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  Yes. this has been a really dark valley.  And I am so thankful that I can rest in the assurance that Jesus is with me.  And I love that he is guiding me along this path that I am on right now.  Just that assurance helps me remember that he is guiding my path....... even during this difficult time.

Jesus, thank you for this season and the time to celebrate your birth.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the reminder to focus on Psalm 23 and the truth that it contains.  Thank you for walking me THROUGH this dark valley and the reminder that I am not staying there.....I am walking through it.  Jesus, thank you for your great love and care that provides all that I need.  Thank you for the provision of this new Nativity set.  Amen