Surprising responses...

This "Blog Book" arrived in the mail today.  I have ordered one every year since I started this blog in 2013.  Twenty nineteen is the seventh book on the shelf.  This last year has been a very tough year of blogging for me.  I paged  through this book and was quite amazed at some of the blogs.  I really thought that I hadn't written very much.  Yet, here it is, in book format, proof that I have continued to write.  I spent several days in the first week of 2020 thinking that I would just stop blogging.  That reflection was started by the process of ordering this book.  And then came that "muddy puddle" experience with Gracie that brought forth my first blog of 2020.

I don't think that there has been another blog in the last year, that has gotten the response that this blog generated.  I had posts, messages, private DM's, emails all saying the same thing!  People affirming the words I wrote about 2020.  That feeling of being so "done" and not really knowing what was ahead, were common to so many people.  I had someone from an "unknown region" send an email to my blog connected account, saying how much they appreciated knowing that they were not alone.  It was a surprise for sure.  Sitting in my little room, all alone and putting words on a screen can sometimes feel very lonely.  I always wonder "why am I doing this?"  I often think, "does anyone even read this?"  It is certainly hard to share when you have no ability to gauge the response of the listener.  I confess that part of the reason that I have continued to blog is for my own benefit.  These blogs represent a piece of our family history.  The stories and photos that are included may, one day, be important to my children and grandchildren.  That is why I have taken the time and spent the money to have the blogs put into paper format in these books.   But then the Lord reminds me that there is so much more going on through this blog.

At the end of the year, I went back and reviewed the statistics of my blog.  I looked at the "audience" by country.  I also looked at which posts were viewed most often.  It was so interesting.  I have a couple of older blogs that continue to be read over and over.   The top countries to read my blog in 2019 (besides the United States) were Russia, Kenya, Germany, France, Ukraine, Portugal, Sweden, United Kingdom,Indonesia and "unknown regions".  That unknown region category is new in the last couple of years.  I am not really sure if this represents China or Middle Eastern countries that might have restrictions on internet viewing.  But almost every one of my blogs is read by people in that place.  At one time I had a list of all of the countries that had appeared on my blog, but sadly, I lost that list.  I remember that there many, many countries - some I had to look up to find out where they were. Since 2018 my readership went from the thousands on each blog to less than a hundred.  This happened when Google stopped auto sharing Blogger blog posts.  I know that many people who had been reading just couldn't find my blog any longer.  I considered stopping my blog at that point.  But every time that thought crosses my mind, I seem to have a blog that touches so many people. 

One of those very old posts that is viewed over and over is called "Disciples who make Disciples" from July of 2016.  It was a post about the Bible Boot Camp at Gwen's church which is their vacation Bible school.  That year the kids learned about refugees in various countries.  I noticed that Turkey shows up when this blog is read.  One of my most read blogs ever is titled "What I learned at Vacation Bible School - Today" from July of 2013.  Over and over, this shows up as a blog being read now.  Clearly, the subject of Vacation Bible School is popular.  Among my most read posts is the blog I wrote after the death of my 10 day old grandson Lucas in 2014.  I don't remember writing that post, I know it was a struggle.  But I am so thankful that I pressed on and shared in the post titled "From Joy to Sorrow to Hope".  So many people have told me just how much that blog spoke to them. 

It has taken me a while to remember that Jesus is bringing the exact right people to my blog, at the exact right time for them. My job - my concern - is only that I continue to share what the Holy Spirit puts on my heart to share.  I just need to continue to pray that those people will see Jesus through my writing.  So, thank you to all who take the time to read these words.  I am so grateful for the comments and the responses that let me know you are out there.  It makes this writing thing so much less lonely.  As always, I am praying that you will be blessed by the words on the page.  Now, on to another posting....

Jesus, thank you so much for your continued encouragement to share these words.  Holy Spirit help us all to feel your presence with us, no matter what our circumstances are.  Give me courage and boldness to continue to share on this platform.  Thank you Jesus, for your great love for us.  Amen

Today was a milestone kind of day....

Last night, after I had posted my blog, I happened to look at the statistics page for my blog.  I don't always do this, as a matter of fact sometimes it is weeks between my visits to these pages.  The first thing I noticed was that my blog last night was my 600th blog post!  WOW!  I mentioned that to Ken and he was also surprised.  I have been blogging since May of 2013.  So I suppose that over 3 years I should not be surprised by the number, but I was.  And then today these came in the mail............

I decided to have my blog posts printed into a book form to preserve them in a "readable" format for my own library.  I debated for a  long time about doing this since it was not an inexpensive thing to have these books formatted and printed.  But today, I was so thankful that I had actually gone through the process of getting these books printed.  It is really something to hold these very weighty books in my hand and know that every word was put on the page by me!  And this is only 2013, 2014, and 2015!  I am praying that the same format will be available when the end of 2016 rolls around.   I would really like to have a matching set!  Yes, this was a milestone kind of day for me.  Seeing these blogs actually on paper is really something.  I suppose that seems a bit silly, but I am a "book" person and I love to hold books in my hand.  I do have a Kindle and Iphone and Laptop and I do read a lot of material "electronically", but there is just something that pleases me about holding a book and flipping the pages.   Now I can flip through the pages of my life and all that Jesus has given me through these posts.  I have a lot to look at!  

The story behind this blog is really a simple one.  I felt that I had something I was supposed to be sharing - somewhere/somehow - and I couldn't figure out the where or the how to share!  I had been feeling a strong call to go to the nations and yet I was in a place where that didn't seem really possible or probable.  I simply did not have a platform to share my thoughts, my revelations, and my words or the things that Jesus was speaking to me. I remember telling someone that I felt like I had duct tape over my mouth.  My very first blog is titled "Feeling Stuffed and it isn't Thanksgiving".  I started this blog as a way to vent - more or less.  Here is the thing.  Little did I know that somehow this blog would go around the world and reach people in the nations.  I had been feeling called to write but really didn't think I should be writing a book or a story or a devotional.  I couldn't figure out who might even want to read anything that I had to say.  I guess that I had to get "stuffed" enough to just begin to put words on a page.  I am incredibly thankful that I live in this era when blogging was so simple.  I had decided that blogging might be good, but had put it off for several months because I couldn't come up with a "catchy name" for my blog.   Finally Gwen told me to just use my own name and be done with it!  Wasn't that good advice? I could procrastinate no longer.  And so it began.  

At last count I have blog readers in 178 countries.  That fact alone stops me in my tracks every time I think about it.  My blog is not one of those "viral" blogs that get millions of hits.  But I know that Jesus is sending my blogs to exactly the people who need to see these words and be encouraged and inspired by my daily life and struggles. And let me tell you there have been plenty of ups and downs in these blog posts. I promised total honesty when I began this blog.  So nothing has been left out of my posts.  There have been births and deaths and lots of grief and tears as well as laughter and joy.  Times when my faith was low and things seemed dark, yet Jesus was always there. Just like my life, it always comes back to Jesus.    I do not "promote" my blog, but somehow the Holy Spirit is doing the work of spreading my posts in ways that surprise me and leave me in awe.  I certainly did not think that I would be reaching the nations while sitting in my chair at home, but that is exactly what is happening.  It puts a new spin on the term "missionary" doesn't it?

When I was four years old, I had a dream that Jesus told me to share his story with everyone.  When I was eight someone told me "someday you will be a missionary".  As an adult I heard the message that I was called to go to the nations.  But I really never thought it would look like this. And I feel as if there might be even more on the horizon.  It leaves me a bit breathless....and filled with hope and expectation! 

So that is my thought for today.  Expect the unexpected.  If you have had a dream or a vision in the past and you can't quite imagine how or when that dream or vision might come true, just be open to whatever comes along.  Keep your focus on the giver of those dreams and visions, JESUS, and believe me, you will be amazed.  I can assure you that there is a plan and purpose for your life and Jesus is all about you fulfilling your destiny!  Don't limit yourself and be open to new things and new ways.  I am sure glad I was!  Keep on dreaming!

Jesus, thank you so much for your continued prompting to share your story with the world.  Holy Spirit, it is amazing how you bring each of us, exactly what we need, when we need it.  Keep us filled with hope as we hold on to those dreams as we wait for your perfect plan and perfect timing.  Thank you Jesus for who you are and your great sacrifice for us.  Thank you for always being with us. Amen

Hidden beauty... and a great reminder!

Yes, I was very frustrated yesterday while trying to blog about finally being at home.  I started trying to upload a photo to my blog (something I do all the time) and every time I tried, the page would freeze and I would lose everything that I had written.  I did this several times (I know, I should have figured it out after one or at the most two times, but I really wanted to write the blog).  Then I tried a couple of other things, like restarting my computer (also tried lots of times) and restarting the blog program (many times).  I looked on line for help (not much available), posted a comment in a blogger forum (no one responded) and then tried several other browsers and still nothing worked.  I finally posted that short blog, shut off my computer and went to bed very frustrated.  This morning I tried my usual browser and it did not work.  So I decided to try another browser AGAIN.   And on the first try, it worked.  I have no idea why, I am just feeling thankful and blessed that it did!

This picture above is one of my favorites from vacation.  At first you might think that this is just a picture of sand.  But look closely.....very closely, right in the center of the frame and you will see the crab!  He would dart out of his hole and if we moved, he would shoot back in.  Ken actually laid on the ground in the sand with the camera poised to get this picture as the crab ventured out of the hole.  I love how he is so camouflaged that you can almost not see him.  He is truly, hiding in plain sight!   What a great gift it is for these crabs to be able to protect themselves, just by getting so covered in sand that you can't see them.  I was thinking of a recent Facebook post I saw, that called for all Christians to be OPEN and obvious about their faith.   It  is time for us to declare to the world that we are here and we are fighting in a war against evil.  The time for all of us to hide and blend into the background of society is gone.  All that strategy has done is allow evil to walk all over us and advance their plan. So I am going to purpose to NOT be like the crab in this picture.  I will not hide and blend in.  I know that it will take practice and lots of covering and prompting of the Holy Spirit, but I am going to do it.

Last night, as I lay in bed, very frustrated by this blog, I was thinking about the last post I had done.  I blogged about Ken's dad and his end of life struggle and our family.  After that post, I got many comments from people thanking me for being honest about this.   One person said they thought it was the best post I had written on this blog!  And then I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit reminding me that Satan wants to prevent me from sharing encouragement and truth through this blog.  I went to sleep thinking that there would be an answer today.  And there was!  Isn't Jesus just amazing?  So I will keep blogging.  Sharing and truth telling through these writings.

Jesus, thank you for providing that little crab to remind me not to hide YOU from the world.  Give us all courage and boldness to strip away the covering and let your light shine through us.    Holy Spirit, thank you for reminding me that even when it seems like evil prevails, you will provide another way.  What an amazing and wonderful caring God you are, that even understands us in all of those frustrating moments. Thank you for the internet, Facebook, and blogging programs that allow your words to go forth to the nations.   Amen

Holding on to the TRUTH!

Doing this short series on testimonies has been interesting.  At first I had no intention of doing a long bunch of posts using these true stories.  But the response was, at first so encouraging that I decided to continue telling stories from my own life.  However, somewhere around day 14, I started to get some private messages and comments about these.  It seems that it was disturbing to some people that I would "boast" about these things.  One anonymous reader even said it was so "ungodly and not a very good Christian witness" to talk about what I had done and experienced.  Was I surprised to get a response to these blog posts?  No.  This blog is public and I welcome sharing.  As I have said before, I have readers from all around the world.  But I was surprised at how negative some of the comments were. 

At my last small group meeting, I was reminded of the highlighted verse above.  In another translation it reads "And they glorified God because of me"!  I had shared about this verse several months ago after being at a meeting where we were all challenged to tell a story that could conclude with.....and they glorified God because of me.  We talked about the false humility that is in the western church that is not Biblical.  Paul was very clear in this verse that the people praised God because of what Paul had said and done or what they had experienced through Paul.  All to often we are quick to say, "it was all Jesus" or "Praise Jesus".  But we are missing the point that it is all part of the master plan of God to use US to accomplish the work in the world.  Not to say that this is something we can do without Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  But it takes our actions and our spoken words to effect the world around us.  Part of that has to be retelling stories and giving our testimony.  That is one way we "go and make disciples" as Jesus instructed us to do.  Let me tell you it is difficult to do this.  Many people had a hard time sharing anything that ended with this statement.  I have really changed my own viewpoint since that night.  I am not so afraid to make the statement that what I have said or done has caused someone else to glorify God. 

Being fearful of what people will think or feel about me - the fear of man - is something most of us struggle with.  It's lots easier to put these words on paper and just shoot them out into that "invisible cloud" and never have to see anyone's face or hear any immediate comments.   But in all truth, these negative comments did make me take a step back and wonder if this blog was something I needed to continue. 

Then yesterday at our High School reunion picnic a former classmate told me, with tears in her eyes, just how powerfully she has been affected by reading my blogs.  She said that she can really relate to the things I have written and she just "knows" that they are true.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  Isn't that just like Jesus to answer our need, even when we haven't really spoken it out? 

So today I am thankful for all of you, the ones taking the time to read these words.  And I am grateful for those that respond to me - even those with comments that are sometimes hard to hear.  It is evidence that someone is actually reading and processing these words and in some way, taking them to heart.  I began this blog with a clear sense that it was what Jesus was asking me to do.  And today, I am continuing it with a renewed and increased sense of purpose. 

Jesus, thank you for who you are.  Thank you that you answer us and hear those unspoken prayers of our heart.  Holy Spirit, thank you for all that you bring to see and read these words.  Pour out your message to them, through my words.  Thank you for computers, the internet and blogging.  Amen

Back to blogging.......pressing through into April

I've been off of the blogging train for the last couple of weeks.   It all started when I got sick.  Really sick and tired.  And sick and tired of being sick and tired.   I am still coughing and taking some over the counter medicines.   Over the last week or so I have been thinking a lot about this blog and all of the topics I have covered in the last 11 months.   The funny thing is that the more I thought about blogging, the less I was motivated to blog.   I considered all of the reasons that this might be happening.  But I really couldn't settle on any one thing.  But then I was looking at my calendar and I had this revelation................. April is a very hard month for me. 

I know that the last thing I blogged was wondering where Spring was!  And April should signal the start of Spring - or at least closer to a more usual Spring like temperature.   I used to love the month of April.  I had always dreamed of having a baby in April.  I thought it was the perfect month.   Alas, that was not to be, I had one March baby and one May baby.   Now I am quite happy that things worked out this way.  

So why is April hard for me?  Well, I have lost my dad, my sister and my mom, and my mother-in-law in April.   And I suppose that this should not really change my view of the entire month, but I think it is good for me to understand why I sort of dread April.   Once I began to understand this, I have decided to embrace and celebrate and remember and share for the entire month of April.   So get ready! 

During the last several weeks of "blog silence" (or near silence), along with sickness, I have had some amazing times of prayer, worship and revelations.   I have felt the power of people lifting me up in prayer.  I have felt the arms of Jesus holding me and healing me.   And I have spent some wonderful time considering my Bible readings from the Psalms to Revelation.   There have been so many little important lessons that I have learned.  I know that you will be hearing some of these in the month ahead. 

For now, March is coming to an end and April is just around the corner.  I am praying that you stay with me as I move on through April!  Jesus, thank you for all of the months you have given me.  Thank you for this blog and all that read these words.   Thank you for the promise of Springtime and the ability to celebrate even the tough times.   Amen

End of year review

So end of the year.  Wow - 2013 just seemed to fly by.  I am so glad that I have this blog to remind me of the amazing things that have transpired during this year.  I had been thinking of starting a blog for several months.  Even after I started actually writing this blog, I wondered if it was something that I was supposed to be doing.  It didn't take long to see that not only was this blog for me, it was also touching other people.  My second blog post was about being "stuffed".  Hearing so many things from Jesus and not having any way to share them.  Yes, this blog has allowed me to share over and over the words, dreams, visions and thoughts that the Holy Spirit has spoken to me.  I love that I am not in charge of who sees and/or reads these blogs.  I simply put them out there and trust that the right people will read them.  Then I realized that Jesus was showing me something about my generational roots.  There is so much power in knowing and understanding your family.  As I looked at pictures and began to share stories from my ancestors, I realized that I was doing something important.  Not only for me and my children and grandchildren.  But for others.  I have had more emails and comments on the stories about my great grandparents and grandparents than anything else.  I believe that our society has lost the art of "storytelling".  Years ago most family stories were "oral" stories, told over and over at family gatherings.  The sharing of photo's and stories on this blog are stories and I am just telling true stories in a different written format.  I am thankful that this important family history will not be lost. Someday my grandchildren can read these words and know about their family.  And then I love that I can share the little things, the insights from my everyday life.  I just spent some time reading over some of my posts and I am thankful for this open journaling I have done through this blog.  I have years and years (1988 -2013) of journals - I mean storage boxes full of notebooks.  They are very valuable to me and reflect the long and winding path I have taken and reflect years of ups and downs.  The biggest thing in those journals is the overriding provision and protection and guidance of Jesus.  Those journals are for my eyes only.  So I have to tell you, it has been very scary to put myself out there through this blog.  But I have really learned and grown in the process. 

Thank you for reading, for commenting, for giving me your feedback.  It has really been a most wonderful part of my 2013.  As I've said, 2014 is about expecting the unexpected.  It is about seeing from a different perspective and with new Spiritual eyes.  It is about seeing a new path and a new direction.  I am filled with expectation and peace as I close the door on 2013 and open the door to a new year.  I am praying that you will be blessed and prosper as you follow your own path into the future.

Jesus, thank you for all that you have shown me and all the changes and insights you have given to me in 2013.  Holy Spirit, keep our hearts open and our spirits sensitive as we step out in 2014.  Thank you for your great provision, direction and care.  Move us onward!  Amen

Not your typical Christmas Day.....

Well Ken and I spent a really nice, yet not so typical Christmas Day.  We got up late.  I made a big breakfast.  We watched some Christmas movies on TV.  I made a pork tenderloin in the crock pot (which actually got done sooner than expected) so we ate our big meal at about 3:00pm.  Then we watched a couple more movies.  And here it is, the end of the day.  Yet, this was really a nice day.  I have a bit of a cold so I really appreciated being able to sleep as long as I wanted.  I don't often get to do nothing. So today was wonderful in that regard.  While it did not resemble Christmas' of the past, it was nice.  And I feel as if this might well be the new normal for us. 

So today I was looking through the books on my bookshelf.  I found this devotional journal that I have never started. 

 I have decided that this will be my devotional for the first 90 days of 2014 (or longer if I get "stuck" at some point).   I like having a jumping off point for the new year.  I love that this is all focused on Jesus - exactly where I have been hearing that I need to be looking - UP at my LEADER!  I mentioned last week that I had received some revelation and answers while driving home.  One of the things that I heard really clearly, was that I needed to be doing more journaling in the year ahead.  I haven't done much in the last three months.  It has really been a time of unrest and upheaval.  And I have found it very difficult to put words to paper.  I am praying that this book will be the clear path to further revelation for me.

 

One more thought........today I passed 10,000 hits on this blog.  I really see that as a gift - a wonderful Christmas gift.  I started this blog because I felt very called to share the things that Jesus was saying to me.  I had felt so stuck and like there was tape over my mouth preventing me from sharing.  I have been able to share not only what is happening in my life, but what Jesus is saying to me about this.  Remembering a conversation I had with Gwen.  She said it was my job to write the blog and then not worry about who might read it.  I honestly could not imagine who might care to read this or how people would find this blog.  But the response has been more than amazing.  I have had readers in 35 countries.  There has been many, many comments and emails that have encouraged me.  I started this blog because I felt that I had "canned" the things I was hearing - you know, just stored them up.  It has been simply amazing to be able to share with you WHATEVER is on my heart that day. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.  I pray that Jesus will bless you as you read these words. 

 

Jesus, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for the amazing gift that has been given to us all through your birth!  Thank you for revealing yourself to us.  Thank you for speaking to us and showing us the path to fulfill our destiny.  What an wonderful and loving God you are!  Bless all who take the time to read this blog.  Give them clarity and vision and most of all your love and peace.   Amen

 



Do I need a "reason" to write?

I've only been doing this blog for a couple of months but it has been so life-giving for me.  Its funny how putting thoughts and words and prayers down in a blog feel like fulfilling my destiny.  I never thought of myself as a writer.  It would not have been something I imagined doing.  In fact, I really didn't like having to write when I was in school.  I much preferred reading over writing.  Back in 1988 when Jesus  became real to me, I started journaling.  I have boxes and boxes of spiral notebooks to show for the last 25 years.  I am so grateful that, early on in my learning and growing spiritual life, someone suggested that I try writing down my prayers.  But I never imagined writing with the purpose of someone else reading my thoughts, feelings and emotions.  And I couldn't comprehend writing down and sharing things that Jesus was saying to me.  Gradually, I sort of got used to the idea of sharing through writing.  But I certainly did not feel "qualified" to write anything really important.
Looking back, I can see that I ran away from writing when there were many times that Jesus was calling me to do exactly that.  Almost 20 years ago, Jesus gave me ideas for an extremely unconventional and powerful "out of the box" education program for children.  I did act on those ideas.  I actually created and executed a unique program for kids.  But very little of it was written down and much of it is contained in scraps of paper and folded copies.  I had a pastor at the time who was encouraging me to get the material in "publishable format".  But I didn't think I had the time and/or the resources to do that.  I wasn't qualified.  Eventually, some ideas did make it into print. (I have previously mentioned the materials on www.cyrusministries.com under Kids Rock).  However, not much more has been happening with my writing................until now. 

In April of 2012 I had a powerful visitation from an angel.  I woke one night from a dream and saw an angel standing by the end of my bed.  He was holding a silver tray.  On the silver tray was a very ornate gold pen. There was a powerful word from the Lord, encouraging me to write down and share the things I was receiving.  To fulfill my destiny.  I knew that I was supposed to write.  I started sort of gathering together some thoughts and ideas and trying to imagine who might even want to read what I was going to write. But that was as far as it went.

Then in February, I read a book that shook up my world.  You see, the author wrote words that I felt and heard in my own head.  I sobbed my way through the book.  The last chapter contained words that were so similar to things I had written in my little booklet "God's Plan and Purpose for Children", that it took my breath away.  I contacted the author of this book and she replied to me almost immediately.  Her response was that "it sounds like there is a book or more in you that is waiting to get out".  She encouraged me to write what I knew I needed to write.

So, here I am.  A new blogger.  I've been encouraged to do this blog by my daughter who always reminds me that "unqualified" is not an acceptable excuse.  Since the Bible is full of unqualified people who God used in amazing ways.  And I am continuing to gather my thoughts and ideas for some bigger project.  But for now, this blog has been amazing for me.   I want to encourage everyone who might be reading this post to follow your destiny.  Don't let being "unqualified" or "uneducated" stop you from following Yahweh's path for you. 

Thank you Yahweh for your patience with me.  Thank you for drawing me to a place where I can share all the wonderful things that you are doing in me and through me.  Yahweh please encourage and give hope to anyone who feels purposeless and hopeless.  You are the Creator and you have amazing ideas to share with us.  Jesus, I receive all that you have for me today.  Thank you for the people who have encouraged me to step out and write.  Yahweh, you are the reason that I write! 

Another blog that really spoke to me....

I just read a post by blogger Rachel Held Evans called "I don't write for an audience of one".  I was so blessed to be introduced to this blogger by my daughter, Gwen.  Seriously - if you have time - go to her web site and take in some of her posts.  They are amazing.   So much of what she writes, resonates with me (and so many others).   Today, I felt  she was talking directly to me.  This is her response to the question "how to you get people to read and follow your blog?" And then follow the question by saying that it really doesn't matter if anyone DOES read their words......  Rachel says.....

 

I confess I kinda want to shake these people and say: “Don’t you see! You were made to want others to read your work! Don’t you see! Your talent DOES bring glory to the God who created you!”

Again, this doesn’t mean we have to have a massive audience to enjoy our creative work. As Eric Liddell so beautifully put it, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel his pleasure.” There is joy in creative expression with or without an audience of other people.

But the desire to share these thoughts and experiences—to be heard, to be understood, to be recognized, to be affirmed—is not inherently selfish. It’s good. It’s holy. It’s challenging. It’s fun.

How easy it is to forget that we are the result of the collaborative work of a relational Being who in the beginning said, “Let Us make mankind in our image, in our likeness,” and who looked upon that creation and called it good.  Even God did not create for an audience of One.

 

So, thank you Rachel Held Evans for reminding me that Yahweh has given me the desire to share, the place to share and the very words to share!  

 

to read more go to www.rachelheldevans.com