Fourth of July marching by.....share your story!

Doug and Susie invited me to their local Fourth of July parade again this year.  Ken and I came to this parade two years (prior to Covid).  This was my second "solo" year and It was as much fun as always.  This hour long parade provided a LARGE amount of candy for Grace and Jimmy loved the entire thing.  He didn't even flinch when the fire trucks came by.  He was just enthralled with everything passing by. 

We had quite the set up perfect for watching the action.  The "grands" in the back row! We all appreciated the "Freeze Pops" that were passed out - even Jimmy!  It was hot but there was a great breeze.   My favorite part of the entire day was Grace proclaiming "This is the BEST day ever!"  

Holidays are interesting when you have lost your spouse.  Even though it has almost been two years, I was surprised to be missing Ken on this day.  I would not have expected this, but because this was something Ken loved so much, I really felt it. 

 

 2018

2019

The passage of time really is odd.  In some ways it seems like these almost two years have flown by.  But in other ways it has really seemed like a long time.  The thing about grief is that it sneaks up on you.  You know that certain days will be hard but then, out of the blue, the missing hits you.  I am so thankful for my family.  Being with the kids, being included in these activities, really helps. I have been making plans to visit some of Ken's favorite spots. There is always joy when I find that perfect "photo" spot and think, "Ken would love this".  There are so many favorite spots, it will be a busy summer! 

I've just started a new Bible/prayer study that is 31 days of prayer.  While I always journal, it is really good to try something new and have a new direction for my quiet time.  I have also been motivated to begin writing again.  I have been working for years on a book, but it has spent a lot of time "on the back shelf".  I am so thankful for this burst of inspiration and am hopeful that it will continue.  My friend recently gifted me this table decoration.  It has become an inspiration for me. 

I have begun to realize that everyone has a story to tell.  Unfortunately Ken's story was much too short.  He used photography to show his inner thoughts to those around him.  He loved order and beauty.  For a long time, different architecture was his passion.  Bridges, barns, buildings and towers filled his frames.  But as he got more and more unwell physically, he turned to flowers and all living things of nature.  The solid, never changing buildings had sort of dissolved into drab, fallen down barns or ancient ruins which then led him to the growing, colorful, alive plants.  It was as if he was desperately trying to hold on to the life that he knew, deep inside, was being cut short.  So I have taken "Embrace your Story" to heart and begun writing in earnest.  All of us have a story.  A testimony of how God has been with us - even if we didn't think He was.  Our children and grandchildren need to know our stories.  The people around us need to know our story.  The world needs to hear our story.  Take this phrase to heart, Embrace Your Story.  And then share it.

Jesus, you have told us that people will know who you are through our testimony.  Holy Spirit, give us courage and boldness to share the good and the bad times.  Thank you for family and friends. Provide opportunities for us to reach out to those around us.  Open our eyes to the needs of our community, our nation and our world.  Thank you for times of celebration.  Amen

Call to keep writing....

I just love how creation speaks to us if we only take a moment to stop and notice!  Just this week I noticed this stray flower that somehow managed to plant itself in the crack of the step up to our front door.  The silly thing is that we had these flowers in hanging baskets several feet away from this spot.  Somehow, in spite of the distance and the the unlikely self seeding of this plant, it has managed to find some "good soil" and sprout, grow and even flower!  The extra interesting thing about this is the fact that Ken treated all of these areas with grass/weed killer that should have made this impossible.  There is clearly no good explanation for this beauty. 

Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible" Matthew 19:26

Last weekend I was at a wonderful conference that filled up my spirit.  The worship was amazing, the speakers were intense, the fellowship was great.  There was one thing..... I totally lost my voice.  I had laryngitis - like totally no voice.  So I was not able to SING during that amazing worship.  And I chewed lots of cough drops during those intense sessions with those top speakers, and most of my fellowship with others was LISTENING to them!  But in the midst of those seemingly bad things, I heard a very clear word from the Lord to keep on writing.  As a matter of fact, one of the key speakers, Patricia King, actually spent two sessions talking about writing.  She called for all those who had felt called to write to stand and receive prayer.  It was just a further confirmation of something that I have been feeling for years.  

During the second session, Patricia talked about the use of the Internet to reach the nations.  Here you are, reading my blog.  I have spent the last five years writing this blog, and wondering why I have been doing so!  There have been 739 blogs written that have reached 176 countries (the last "new" country is simply called "unknown regions").  I have never understood exactly why people read my blog and more, why they come back over and over.  The only conclusion is that God has made this impossible thing, possible.  

And so I must believe that another "impossible" thing might actually be possible.  There is so much more to write and I have always felt that it was impossible.  You know the excuses.  There is not enough time.  I really don't know where to begin. I'm too old to begin something like this. Nothing will ever come of it.  Who would even care to read what I write?  Somehow, now, it feels possible.  

I came home and then saw this flower.  I studied my notes from the conference.  And I considered those impossible ideas that I have. It is time to put aside the excuses and begin.  I don't believe it is the end of this blog.  So I guess my new charge is to accomplish TWO seemingly impossible tasks!  

Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible"  Matthew 19:26

If there is anything that seems impossible in your life, know that Jesus is the God of the impossible.  Whatever it is, something you need, something that has to be accomplished,  if it feels like a task that you can not do, then it just might be God.  I encourage you to stop, pray and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit.  You might just join me in beginning that impossible task!  

Jesus, thank you for showing us who you are through creation.  Holy Spirit, keep us mindful of your presence with us and your power to accomplish your plans.  Give us all grace to see and know that even though our plans might not seem doable in our own strength, you are able.  

Do I need a "reason" to write?

I've only been doing this blog for a couple of months but it has been so life-giving for me.  Its funny how putting thoughts and words and prayers down in a blog feel like fulfilling my destiny.  I never thought of myself as a writer.  It would not have been something I imagined doing.  In fact, I really didn't like having to write when I was in school.  I much preferred reading over writing.  Back in 1988 when Jesus  became real to me, I started journaling.  I have boxes and boxes of spiral notebooks to show for the last 25 years.  I am so grateful that, early on in my learning and growing spiritual life, someone suggested that I try writing down my prayers.  But I never imagined writing with the purpose of someone else reading my thoughts, feelings and emotions.  And I couldn't comprehend writing down and sharing things that Jesus was saying to me.  Gradually, I sort of got used to the idea of sharing through writing.  But I certainly did not feel "qualified" to write anything really important.
Looking back, I can see that I ran away from writing when there were many times that Jesus was calling me to do exactly that.  Almost 20 years ago, Jesus gave me ideas for an extremely unconventional and powerful "out of the box" education program for children.  I did act on those ideas.  I actually created and executed a unique program for kids.  But very little of it was written down and much of it is contained in scraps of paper and folded copies.  I had a pastor at the time who was encouraging me to get the material in "publishable format".  But I didn't think I had the time and/or the resources to do that.  I wasn't qualified.  Eventually, some ideas did make it into print. (I have previously mentioned the materials on www.cyrusministries.com under Kids Rock).  However, not much more has been happening with my writing................until now. 

In April of 2012 I had a powerful visitation from an angel.  I woke one night from a dream and saw an angel standing by the end of my bed.  He was holding a silver tray.  On the silver tray was a very ornate gold pen. There was a powerful word from the Lord, encouraging me to write down and share the things I was receiving.  To fulfill my destiny.  I knew that I was supposed to write.  I started sort of gathering together some thoughts and ideas and trying to imagine who might even want to read what I was going to write. But that was as far as it went.

Then in February, I read a book that shook up my world.  You see, the author wrote words that I felt and heard in my own head.  I sobbed my way through the book.  The last chapter contained words that were so similar to things I had written in my little booklet "God's Plan and Purpose for Children", that it took my breath away.  I contacted the author of this book and she replied to me almost immediately.  Her response was that "it sounds like there is a book or more in you that is waiting to get out".  She encouraged me to write what I knew I needed to write.

So, here I am.  A new blogger.  I've been encouraged to do this blog by my daughter who always reminds me that "unqualified" is not an acceptable excuse.  Since the Bible is full of unqualified people who God used in amazing ways.  And I am continuing to gather my thoughts and ideas for some bigger project.  But for now, this blog has been amazing for me.   I want to encourage everyone who might be reading this post to follow your destiny.  Don't let being "unqualified" or "uneducated" stop you from following Yahweh's path for you. 

Thank you Yahweh for your patience with me.  Thank you for drawing me to a place where I can share all the wonderful things that you are doing in me and through me.  Yahweh please encourage and give hope to anyone who feels purposeless and hopeless.  You are the Creator and you have amazing ideas to share with us.  Jesus, I receive all that you have for me today.  Thank you for the people who have encouraged me to step out and write.  Yahweh, you are the reason that I write! 

Another blog that really spoke to me....

I just read a post by blogger Rachel Held Evans called "I don't write for an audience of one".  I was so blessed to be introduced to this blogger by my daughter, Gwen.  Seriously - if you have time - go to her web site and take in some of her posts.  They are amazing.   So much of what she writes, resonates with me (and so many others).   Today, I felt  she was talking directly to me.  This is her response to the question "how to you get people to read and follow your blog?" And then follow the question by saying that it really doesn't matter if anyone DOES read their words......  Rachel says.....

 

I confess I kinda want to shake these people and say: “Don’t you see! You were made to want others to read your work! Don’t you see! Your talent DOES bring glory to the God who created you!”

Again, this doesn’t mean we have to have a massive audience to enjoy our creative work. As Eric Liddell so beautifully put it, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel his pleasure.” There is joy in creative expression with or without an audience of other people.

But the desire to share these thoughts and experiences—to be heard, to be understood, to be recognized, to be affirmed—is not inherently selfish. It’s good. It’s holy. It’s challenging. It’s fun.

How easy it is to forget that we are the result of the collaborative work of a relational Being who in the beginning said, “Let Us make mankind in our image, in our likeness,” and who looked upon that creation and called it good.  Even God did not create for an audience of One.

 

So, thank you Rachel Held Evans for reminding me that Yahweh has given me the desire to share, the place to share and the very words to share!  

 

to read more go to www.rachelheldevans.com