A long delayed message......

First at bit of background for this story!  Ken and I both attended the same high school but he graduated a year ahead of me.  That means that we have these 8 yearbooks -1 for 68, 2 for 69, 2 for 70, 2 for 71 and 1 for 72.   We did not date in high school but we did share many friends.  It was actually at a friends house, in the summer after I graduated, that we connected and began to date.  My blog tonight was triggered by one of those many shared friends.

Earlier today I got an email from a company that I have not used recently - Classmates.  I never paid for their sight or really used their sight very much.  But I had registered my name sometime in the early 2000's.  After I started using Facebook, I stopped responding to emails about Classmates and I don't think I ever looked at the sight much after 2005 or 2006.  For some reason, tonight I opened that email and saw that I had 5 unread messages on my personal page.  It was a miracle that I remembered my sign in and password (I guess sometimes it is good to mostly use one or two passwords) and it was a very, very old password.  I got to my page and found these unread messages.   That message really stopped me in my tracks. It was sent to me in July of 2009.  It was from an old friend, Sylvia, who sadly passed away in 2016.

Let me tell you about my friend Sylvia.  I actually met her in 8th grade, shortly after we moved to Elk Grove.  We shared a class and got paired to do a project together.  She invited me to her home to complete that assignment.  We became friends after that and I spent many, many nights at her house during my high school years.  She was an only child and much loved by her parents.  They moved houses between our 8th grade year and the beginning of high school, which actually brought her a bit closer to my house.  It was a really interesting friendship since we really did not have much in common (on the surface).  But I remember laughing and having so much fun whenever I was with her.  Looking back, I am sure that she kind of viewed me as a misfit that needed to be helped out.  Which, in fact was kind of true!  The really interesting thing about this is that Sylvia and Ken went to the same church and were a part of the youth group.  I remember Sylvia bringing me to many youth activities and even a few that were at Ken's house!  She had told me many times that she was interested in dating Ken (he was older than us and drove a convertible - both very important things when you are a teenage girl!)  I however, did not see any reason that Ken would be a good person to date.  I actually only saw her one time after high school. It was Christmas time of 1973 and we happened to be at the local grocery store at the same time.  She was home from college and Ken and I had gotten engaged a few months before.  When she saw my engagement ring she wanted all the details.   I was a bit sheepish when I told her who I was planning to marry!  She exclaimed (with a great deal of drama) "That creep!  Why would you possibly want to marry him!"  Which was the exact things that I had said to her about her crush on Ken.  While we talked about staying in touch, it didn't happen.

Sylvia enlarged my world and brought so many adventures into my life.  I went to many, many parties and dances with her because of all the different people she knew.   We had countless adventures driving around - including changing a flat tire by ourselves!  I am so thankful for her friendship .  The message from Sylvia was an attempt to get back in touch with each other.  She spoke about her children and grandchildren and how much she enjoyed being retired.  She had been invited to the many high school reunions that have been held, but was never able to attend.  I so wish that I had the chance to catch up with her.  And it makes me very thankful for the friends that I have managed to keep in contact - even if it is just Facebook or a Christmas card.

Which brings me to the point of this blog.  Sometimes people are in our life for a season and then they are gone.  Then there are those that you hold close, that stick around.  And there are those that you may not see or speak with often, yet when you do get together, it is as if no time has passed. All those that have touched our life are important. Every friend, every classmate or neighbor, or coworker, leaves an imprint on us.  All to often, we forget just how important these people are to us.  After receiving this long delayed message tonight, especially one that I now can not respond to, I know that it is time to reach out to those dear ones that I have lost touch with.  Unfortunately, my list is long!   Are there those in your life that you have wondered about?  Lost touch with?  Someone who has come into your mind?  Take it from me, don't delay - call, write or message today!

We are a people that need each other.  No man is an island.  All of us thrive on contact and on love.  There is such a lack of love expressed these days.  Lets all share more love today.  Brighten someones day with a smile or a kind word.  Knock on a neighbors door just to say hi.  Don't just think about someone - actually call or write them.  This is a dark time of year.  It is cold and dreary around much of the country.  Let us all brighten it up with an outpouring of love.  When asked what the greatest commandment was Jesus responded...... "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.  This is the greatest commandment and the second is this - love your neighbor as yourself".  Yes it is time for more connection.  More togetherness.  More love!

Jesus, thank you for bringing this message to me, and the reminder that there are many I need to connect with.  Holy Spirit motivate us to walk in love and express love to all those around us.  Thank you Jesus that your light and your love brighten and empower us all!  Amen

Snowed in and loving it!

This was a weekend that I look forward to for a long, long time.  SCRAPBOOKING!!  We all arrived at the appointed spot on Friday afternoon, set up our stuff (and there is always a lot of stuff!) and got started.  At about the same time that we started our projects, it started to snow.  Not just a little, but it snowed, and it snowed and it snowed.  This could not have happened at a better time.  We were all safe and sound in our warm, comfortable scrap place.  The best thing was we could have all our food delivered.  We never went outside. By the time it was all said and done on Saturday afternoon, we had over 16" of snow!  We happened to be in one those areas that really got slammed with this first snowfall of the season.  When I got home today there was only about 4" of snow on my driveway.  This picture was taken after only about 3 hours of snow.  Trust me, there was much more snow on our cars after 16 hours more of heavy snow.  I have to give a very BIG shout-out to my wonderful son-in-law Tim Johnson.  On Saturday afternoon, after most of the snow had fallen, he braved the weather and brought seven children (don't ask...it is a very long story) to the hotel for a swim in the pool.  Really, what better activity is there on a snowy afternoon than swimming???? The seven children had spent the morning OUTSIDE, playing in the snow.  So they were ready for some warm, inside swimming.  Anyway......while Tim was "visiting" scrapbooking, he cleared off all of our cars!  Can you believe it?  He actually brought a broom and shovel along with him for just that purpose.  What a guy!  He is really amazing.

I decided this weekend that there is something that is often very under-valued.......FELLOWSHIP!  I know that the stated purpose of these weekends is to accomplish the preservation of memories through pictures, but I believe that the best part of these weekends is the relationships.  The sharing and caring and laughing and crying and talking and hugging.....well, you get the idea!  It is all of that stuff that makes this time so meaningful.  At some point during the weekend, Lia sent me a text message that she was so excited for an upcoming "sleepover" at her BFF's (best friend forever) house this upcoming week.  I realized that this weekend is really one giant sleepover!  I guess us gals never really grow up - as far as our friends are concerned!

We covered a lot of ground in our discussions this weekend.  But the most important discussions revolved around this truth..........we all know that we need Jesus in our life in order to get through whatever comes our way.  This group of gals has experienced a lot lately.......there have been family members with cancer and heart attacks, problems with aging parents and death of parents as well as having parents move in with them!  Some of us are still grieving.  There have been houses sold (some after a very long time), houses purchased and moves made - or expected to be made shortly.  There are lots of concern about our children and for some of us, our grandchildren.  And there are the stresses of our jobs.  Certainly we also talked a bit about all that is happening in the world.  Surrounding all of these discussions was the simple statement that we don't know how we could have possibly gotten through these issues without knowing that Jesus is right there with us.

It is so refreshing and wonderful to talk about real problems, surrounded by people who love you, especially when Jesus is always a part of the discussion.  Yes, I think we would all be a lot better off if we just made time to get away with some friends, to talk and share and get snowed in!  For me it was such a time of rest and relaxing.  Plus I managed to complete 84 pages of scrapbooking - a new record for me on these weekends.

The snow was truly beautiful.  It fell softly and silently and covered all of the landscape.  There was a stillness and quiet that seemed to just envelop us in a cocoon.  I stepped outside to take the picture and it was breathtaking.  Even though it was freezing cold, I stood there (without a coat) and watched the flakes fall through the glow of the parking lot lights. It was a sacred moment.  I am extremely thankful for this weekend.

Jesus, thank you for knowing exactly what I most needed.  Even the unexpected, record breaking snowfall.  What a special blessing these dear friends are in my life.  Thank you for taking our needs and concerns and bringing us your great peace.  Holy Spirit, bring these kinds of opportunities to all who need a time of refreshing.  And Jesus, thank you for Tim and the great blessing he is to our family.  Amen                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Processing some sad news........ and looking ahead

I just love this picture. This is Ken and a few of our high school friends at one of our recent "reunion" picnics.  Some of these guys were Ken's friends in high school and some were my friends.  And we have just reconnected with these great people in the last 5 years. We so look forward to seeing these friends each summer. Today we learned that one of these old friends lost their wife this morning.  She had been diagnosed with cancer several years ago, but this was still a shock to us.  We did not get to see Steve and Cheryl this year at our annual picnic because they had a family event to attend in Michigan.  It is really something to feel this loss, yet we were not that close to this couple.

I thing like this really does make you stop and look at your life and consider.  I am so thankful that Cheryl knew Jesus and today she is celebrating in heaven.  And I am grateful for the comfort that this gives to Steve also.  It also gives me a push to be more open with everyone that I meet and talk with, to make sure that they have had a chance to know Jesus.  It does make you stop and think.

Ken and I have been doing a bit of talking about retirement lately.  Okay, lots of couples in their early 60's are taking more concrete steps to plan ahead.  I guess all of these things, PLUS turning 60 have made today a bit more difficult for me.

But then, I just flash to last Sunday night.  Every day this week, I have felt the excitement build in my spirit.  It has been a long time since I have had this sense of anticipation and feeling that there is so much more to come!  And I have so much yet to accomplish.  I love these times when you can see that Jesus has given you "advance preparation" for a situation that you will be facing.  It is just one more way that we can see the constant presence and care that Jesus gives to us.  On Saturday I got to visit with a very dear friend who recently moved.  Being with her is so filling for my soul.  We have been friends for a very long time, suffered the trials of teenage children together, seen so many changes in our lives, and now are loving our role as Grandmas!  It is so good to have these joyful reminders today that bring me the assurance that Jesus is truly in control..

Diane and I talked a great deal about the future.  What it might look like for each of us.  How grateful we are for time to really connect with our grandchildren.  What Jesus might have in store for us.  Honestly, I am so thankful for good friends!

Yes, this post tonight is all about friends.  The friends we have who knew us "way back when".  The friends that have grown and changed with us.  The friends who are growing old with us.  I love the passage above.  Yes, friends are a fragrant incense that remind us of God's presence with us, even in the worst of times.

Jesus, you are in charge of the length of our days.  Please comfort Steve and his entire family today as they mourn the loss of his dear wife Cheryl.  Thank you for renewed friendships and new friendships and long time friendships.  Holy Spirit, give all of us "over 55's" the assurance that you have much more in store.  Thank you for reminding us that you have a plan and destiny for each one of us.  Thank you for restoring my anticipation for all that is ahead.  Amen

PS  My thankful journal for today is old friends, renewed friends and longtime friends and new friends!  Yep, thankful for all!

Newspaper article, Helen Keller and another old friend...

Today I have seen a couple of interesting things on the Internet.  First, in my local paper. There was a feature story about two "life-long friends" who are celebrating their 100th birthday.  Isn't that amazing?   And they were able to celebrate together.  The picture actually showed them sitting together with their hands clasped.  What a marvelous story of friendship.  And then I happened on an incredible video.  Can I just say, that you can find almost anything on You Tube.  I don't know exactly how I linked into this video, but you need to take a moment and watch this link.  Even You Tube says that this is a RARE video.  It is Helen Keller.  As I was watching this video, I was thinking about the special kind of friendship she had with her two long-time aids.  First, Ann Sullivan and then in the later years, Polly Thomson.  Yes, this was a super special friendship that was life changing for Helen Keller. 

So with these couple of things just showing up, I've decided that Jesus must really have something that he is trying to communicate to me about friendship this week.   I guess I will continue on down this road.................

Me and Sue Avery Ryan in 1987

So my next "long time" friend that I want to tell you about is someone from my very long ago past.  I actually met her when I was 6 years old and she was 5 years old.  Even though we were only 6 months apart in age we were in different grades in school.  The interesting thing about this friendship is that we have hardly spoken in the last 30 years, but we still send those Christmas Cards!  I know something about her life now thanks to Christmas letters, and she knows something about mine. Her name is Sue Avery Ryan.  She was my "grade school" friend.  We spent hours and I mean HOURS playing together.  Her mom kind of "adopted" me because my mom worked and I was left in the care of my brother.  And let's just say that he didn't do a very good job of looking out for me.  I loved being at Sue's house.  She lived just kitty-corner from us about 3 houses away.  She was the oldest of her family and I remember when her brother Billy was born.  Mrs. Avery let me feed Billy his morning bottle while I was waiting for the bus at their house.  Her sister Cathy was just 2 years younger than Sue and I, but I don't really remember being with her very much.  She had a brother Jimmy that was 4 years younger than her.  Billy was born when we were about 8 or so and then when we were in our early teens, her sister Anne was born.  I loved NOT being the youngest!  I loved playing school and having all those little kids to boss around.  Another really wonderful thing was that Sue had cousins that lived close by.  And those cousins would come for visits.  I loved that they included me - even when the cousins were visiting.  Sue and I played dolls most of the time.  We would set up very elaborate "orphanages" with all of our dolls.  We made up wonderful stories about each doll.  I sure wish we had taken the time to write down some of those tales.  It was very clear that both Sue and I were readers because we were always making up these stories.  I remember when Sue's mom came home from a shopping trip with a brand new doll for Sue.  It was a Barbie Doll!  Yep, it was 1961 and she had one of those very first Barbies.  It wasn't so long after that when I actually got a Barbie.  Mine has the short hair, not the pony tail.  And Gwen now has that Barbie doll, along with most of the baby dolls that Sue and I played with.  When I was in 5th grade I cried for days because Sue was moving away.  Actually, they only moved about 5 miles away, but to me, she was gone.  My mom made sure that I had plenty of sleep overs with Sue, but it just was not the same as being right across the street.  A couple of years later, we left Minnesota for Chicago, and Sue and I continued to write letters.  Again, not the same closeness.  She got married, I got married and we each had children.  Her two sons and one daughter are very close in age to Gwen and Doug.  In the later years I would talk with her on the phone when I visited my mom.  And a couple of times she came over to see me on one of our visits to Minnesota. The picture above is from one of those visits.  And then there are the Christmas Card letters and pictures. 

You know, I don't think Sue would really "get" how important her friendship was to me.  In so many ways, her family was sort of my "ideal" family.  The kids were all close in age.  The mom stayed home and didn't work.  The dad didn't travel all the time.  The mom and dad were NOT  grandparents.  Looking back, I can see how Jesus placed this friend and this family in my life, at exactly the correct moment.  I needed all of those things during a time when those things were NOT in my family.  And it was such a blessing to me.  My mom always said that she felt so much better knowing that Mrs. Avery was watching out for me.  My mom did not "chose" to work.  She HAD to work.  My father had some medical issues and surgeries and there were bills to pay.  I know that she did not want to go to work in 1960 and leave me alone.  It was just what she had to do.  I am so thankful for Sue and all those years of playing together.  Yep, grades school friends are important. 
I tried to find out if Sue has a facebook page, but couldn't locate her.  And I don't even have an email address for her.  Can you believe it?  We actually still just communicate by snail mail.  I think I will have to write her an actual letter to tell her about this post! 

Jesus, thank you for reminding me of all the people you have placed in my life.  Holy Spirit, remind us all to see the people around us with your eyes.  Thank you Jesus for showing me your provision for me, even when I didn't understand what I needed.  It is so wonderful that you know who we are and what we are going through, and then you provide exactly what we need.  Jesus, you are simply amazing.  Continue to speak to me in the days ahead about these special friends.  And Holy Spirit, will you also remind those reading this today, of all the ways that Jesus is providing for them.  Bless these special friends - especially Sue and her family.  Thanks Jesus!  Amen

My friend LeeAnn

Yesterday I said that I would be posting about some of my "life-long" friends.  All day today I have been thinking about WHY I made that statement and WHO I was supposed to be writing about.  I have decided to start this off with my very dear friend LeeAnn Bartholomay.  First of all, I almost didn't include her because the fact is, her life was NOT long - it ended in 2001.   LeeAnn and I met when Gwen was 18 months old and her son was 2.  She was an amazing nurse who had just gone back to work part time.  She was looking for a neighborhood babysitter for a couple of days a week from 2:30 till 6:00 when her husband got home from work.  I had already been sitting for a number of families in our subdivision, she heard about me and stopped by one day.  I invited her in for coffee and the rest is history.  We hit it off IMMEDIATELY!  She was so surprised that I could tell she was from "up north" (actually North Dakota - but there is not much difference between the "accent" of Minnesota and North Dakota!).  We had so much in common and just had wonderful conversation.  My babysitting job turned into a family friendship that continued for many, many years.  We were pregnant at the same time, MollyAnn was born in December and Doug was born in March.  Shortly after Doug was born, their family moved to Wheaton.  Needless to say, we stayed in touch.  One of our biggest traditions was a Christmas Day family dinner.  Neither of us had family in the area and we always had a birthday party for Jesus.  I have very vivid memories of one Mother's Day when Doug and MollyAnn were about 2 years old.  We were at our house for a "dinner" to be cooked by the husbands.  LeeAnn and I went for a walk.  The guys were supposed to be watching the kids.  All of sudden, about 3 blocks from our house, we see MollyAnn and Doug near the creek that runs through our subdivision.  We ran to grab them and took them home.  We found Ken and Don totally unaware of the fact that their two small children had wandered off!   In the later years we had many great gatherings at their Wheaton home, which had a huge backyard for the kids to play.  It was LeeAnn who first noticed that there was something "not right" with Doug when he was only a couple months old.  We were having an informal picnic and LeeAnn noticed that he seemed very feverish.  She was right.  Later that day, our hospital stays with Doug began.  I could always count on her to bring Doug a treat when we were in the local hospital.  She would often stop by before her shift began.  In so many ways, she was a constant friend and hand holder during those tough times.  When she was pregnant with her third child, she asked me what I thought about the difference between Baptism and Dedication for a baby.  I told her my perspective and she said, "I agree completely!  Will you and Ken please be this baby's Godparents?"   What a joy it was when Carl was born.  The picture above is from a mother-daughter lunch at her church.  Gwen and I were often included in these wonderful events. There were simply so many things, I can not mention them all.

But life got busy and we got busy and we saw each other less and less.  However, when we did get together for a breakfast or late evening coffee, it was as if no time had passed since our last conversation.  As our kids grew up, our problems got bigger.  One common experience that we had around 1988 was an awakening to Jesus and all that he wanted for us and our families. We shared so many joys and struggles.  She was a great friend.    I will never forget the day that LeeAnn just stopped by our house.  She never did that.  When I opened the door and saw her standing there, I knew that something was very wrong.  She told me that she had just been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.  I was speechless.  I really couldn't believe it!  She was the one who ate only homemade food.  She always had fruits and vegetables and was so careful of what her family ate.  And she was a nurse.  Yet, she had ignored the symptoms for a long time.  Till it was simply much to late.  Over the course of her illness, I saw her several times.  Her faith remained so strong and her assurance of Jesus was so apparent.  Doug and MollyAnn were graduating from High School and MollyAnn was heading off to college.  She so wanted to be able to experience everything with her daughter.  But, sadly, she died the week that MollyAnn started college.  One of my greatest regrets is that I did not know that she had died until 6 weeks after it happened.  I was not "in the loop" to be notified.  It was very sad for me to lose this "life-long" friend. 

I think about her so often.  I remember thinking how much she would have enjoyed Gwen's wedding.  And how fun it would have been to show off and share my grandchildren with her.  Because we still live in the same house, every day when I leave or come home, I go right by the house that was "their" house.  I always remember.  Yep, LeeAnn is a life-long friend for me.  And I will always cherish her memory.

Jesus, thank you again for providing exactly the right person at the right time.  Thank you so much for the joy that LeeAnn brought to my life and to our family.  Holy Spirit, would you reach out and touch Ben, Molly and Carl and remind them of their mother's great faith.  Thank you that I can trust them into your hands.  Jesus, remind those reading this to pay attention to those friends around them. Jesus, help me to remember and appreciate all those you have placed in my life, for this time.  Bless all of those precious woman to woman friendships that help us to become the people that you have destined us to be.  Thank you for your great love.   Amen

Cultivating close relationships....

Here is another "nugget" from the HUB meeting on Friday night.  This is a season to cultivate close relationships.  This is the time to evaluate where you are really at with your relationships.   I've been thinking about this over the last couple of days.  I was very blessed on Friday night,  to be sitting next to a very close friend. That was a great comfort for me!   The speaker made the point that our relationships with people are a reflection of our relationship with Yahweh.   OUCH!   This is a hard message.   Are we deeply caring about others and expressing love and affection BECAUSE we are in that kind of a relationship with Yahweh????   Or do we have lots of superficial relationships - the kind of people who you talk with about the weather and nothing else?   Is this how your relationship with Yahweh seems?  Just a brief laundry list of cares and concerns? A distant sort of "drive through" relationship (you know what I mean - you speak into the box to someone you can't see - you MIGHT hear a short grainy message back IF you wait around long enough - you quickly pull forward and hope to receive a bag of whatever you have asked for).  I know this is not the relationship I want to have with Yahweh.  

So, I have been evaluating all of the relationships in my life.  And I want to have more deep, meaningful relationships with those around me.   I want to be able to really tell the truth and not worry about "what will they think?"    My daughter introduced me to another great blog called Momastery.   The author is a TRUTH TELLER.  And because of her blog, others see that they can be brave and tell the truth and develop those close relationships.  Her blog is wildly successful and has literally hundreds of thousands of readers.  People who are all looking for meaningful relationships.

I want to be a truth teller and a Yahweh seeker and a close friend that will be deeply caring about others. I want to have meaningful relationships.  I want to be expressing the love of Yahweh to those around me - his deep compassion and caring through my mouth and my hands.   So I will take the time to rest (see yesterday's post) and receive Yahweh's love so that I have HIS love and care to give out into my relationships.  This is not something that I can do on my own.  This is about taking the time to just receive a deeper relationship with Yahweh.

(you can read the Momastery blog at Momastery)

Good time with an old friend...

Isn't it great to spend time with our friends?  Especially those people who we know God has brought into our lives for a special reason.  I am so thankful for the many wonderful friends that I have who are always there for me.  The ones that listen to my rants and raves and still want to be friends.    Quite honestly, I don't know what I would do without them.   Today I spent a few hours with a dear friend of many, many years.  (Actually, I just stopped to figure out that it has been 23 years!)  We have walked through a lot together - good times and bad times.  But the important thing is that we have prayed for each other and with each other and celebrated answered prayers.  Sometimes we don't talk for a month or more and lately, we only see each other every few months.  When we do talk or get together, it is as if no time has passed and we just pick up where we left off.   The best part of being together is knowing that she "gets" me! And I know that I "get" her!  We understand each other.  

Jesus understood about friends when he walked this earth.  He had a close circle of friends in the disciples.  And he had some close friends like Lazarus that he cared deeply about (and wept for) - that were not among the 12.  Jesus even had a few closer ties with Peter and John, his beloved. 

Today as I was traveling home from my friends house I was thinking about Jesus and friendship.   The old familiar song, "What a Friend we have in Jesus" came into my thoughts......
                    What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear.
                    What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.
                    Oh what peace we often forfeit, of what needless pain we bear
                    All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

                    Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
                    We should never be discouraged - take it to the Lord in prayer
                    Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
                    Jesus knows our every weakness - Take it to the Lord in prayer.
 
                    Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
                    Precious Savior, still our refuge - take it to the Lord in prayer.
                    Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer.
                    In his arms he'll take and shield you.  You will find a solace there.   

So many things in this world are pictures of  the character of Yahweh.  We can see him in all of creation and today I realized that we see him in these dear friends.  Jesus wants to be friends with us in a deep and real way.  He wants us to know that he "gets" us and more importantly, he wants us to "get" him.  I am  going to spend the next several days pondering exactly what this means for me. I will also be more aware of  "Taking it to the Lord in prayer". 

A good time with an old friend and also a deeper understanding of what a friend we have in Jesus!