End of summer ..... onto Fall. A lot of transitions

We had a not so typical Labor Day weekend.  Of course nothing about our life these days is very typical.  Ken has been dealing with the effects of Liver Cancer and has seen his energy decreasing during the last few weeks.  We are thankful for some iron infusions that we are hoping will restore some pep to his steps. In the mean time, Ken is mostly just moving slowly from the bed, to the couch to the patio to the front porch, using a cane to help keep him steady.  The kids have been wonderful, stopping in to bring us some needed company and we love those hugs.  

On Saturday we got to watch Grace for a couple of hours.  It was really fun to see how much she has grown up during the Covid mess.  I loved just talking with her and hearing all about her school and her friends.  Three is such a fun age!  I also managed to get the following picture... 

Grace age 3, 2020

This is special to me for so many reasons.  This little chair she is sitting in was mine!  It is 62 years old and has sure seen better days.  But it is so fun to see this chair, through the years and all of the precious little ones who got to use it!

Yes, that is me, age 4, in the chair when it was brand new - Christmas of 1958!

Then it was 1982

Gwen was around 3 years old in this picture.

Then Doug, around 3,  got to use the chair in 1985

First of the grandkids to use the chair was Lia (age 18 months) in 2007

followed by Ellie age 4,  in 2013

Zeke, age 2 in 2013

And then Anna, age 3 in 2017.

It is interesting how your perspective changes when illness enters your house.  This silly little kids chair is not really even an "heirloom" in the typical definition.  It wasn't an expensive chair when it was new.  But suddenly it seems priceless to me.  The memories that these pictures show, are worth more than any amount of money.   I am so thankful for these snapshots of rocking around the years.  I am also thankful that I have those recently digitized movies since I saw myself, rocking in that chair on that Christmas in 1959.  Technology is wonderful.

In addition to sitting in this chair when Grace visited, she did a lot of cutting!  She found a pair of kid scissors in the toy box and I gave her a magazine to cut up.  She spent almost an hour making lots of tiny pieces of paper.  

When Ken got up, Grace wanted to sit at the table and eat with him  She had already had breakfast, but she had a snack of applesauce while Grandpa ate his breakfast.

It was so good to have time to just play with her.  I miss my time watching her each week.  She was sad when mommy and daddy came to get her.  I am sure we will have time for more fun soon.

On Labor Day, Gwen, Tim and the kids came for a visit.  As a special treat they brought Chandler.  Ken loves that doggie so much.  At one point he called him Sheba (our dog when Gwen was little).  But Chandler didn't mind much.  Ellie insisted on bringing her violin so that Ken and I could hear her first song. Considering that she has only had the instrument for a couple weeks and only had a few lessons, it was great!  She seems to be a natural at this.

Chandler was apparently part of the performance.  I didn't notice him when I took the picture, but he was watching us watch Ellie play!

I am so thankful for the time that Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie, as well as the grandkids spend with us.  I know that Ken's time is most likely short and it is a blessing for the kids to make memories with him.  We are all taking one day at a time and trying to not look to far into the future.  For now that is enough.  The summer has been so dry, we have gone weeks and weeks with no rain.  I really don't remember another summer this dry.   But as we have entered September, we have had several days of much needed rain.  One night last week, I was awakened by loud claps of thunder and pounding rain.  This morning I woke up to rain on the window.  Yes, a transition is happening all around me.  The weather is changing from the heat and dry of summer to the damp and cool of autumn.  This year has been a time all its own that we will not forget.  The year 2020 will live on in memory of COVID, quarantine, fear and anxiety and loneliness as we "sheltered in place" away from all those we love so much.  Now our family is drawing together and coming closer as we care more about being together than fear of COVID.  We are holding and hugging each other as we stand together as Ken's cancer progresses.   We are doing our best to remember this...

           

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.   Matthew 6:34

I am so thankful for all of you, reading this blog.  Our family needs your prayers during this transition.  We so appreciate the love and concern of our friends and extended family.  Most of all we are thankful for the knowledge that Jesus has brought everyone that believes in Him, eternal life.  It is the faith and hope of Jesus that sustains us and brings us peace when nothing around us is very calm or peaceful.  

For some reason, the gentle rain today has been so soothing.  I made beef stew in the crock pot and some drop biscuits to go with it.  The oven helped heat up the cool house and the smell of the stew filled the house with a lovely aroma.  So calming and comforting.  Yes, today has been a good day and I will celebrate every good day.

Jesus, thank you for rain that soaks into the thirsty ground.  Thank you for the assurance of your saving grace.  Help us all to stay mindful of the joys in each day, even as so much around us is uncertain and shaking.  Thank you for the hugs and love of family and friends.  Remind us all to reach out and touch our loved ones and our neighbors.  Thank you for memories, for finds from the past and for hope to look into the future.  Amen

Preserving memories - in a very different way!

Yesterday Ken and I hung this metal ring around the large initial "R" that we have had hanging on our wall for a long time.  Both of us were very surprised to see that it was exactly the right size and the spacing was exactly right with the other items on that wall.  This metal ring has special significance to us. I looked for an early picture of this ring (in its original form) and this was the best I could find.  Its from a late spring snowstorm in 1993.  You can see that the tree planted there is pretty little which means we most likely planted it in 1990 or 1991.  Take a look at the barrel the tree is planted in.  That metal ring on our wall is that very ring.

After this tree got way too large for this spot, we tried to move it to that spot in our back yard.  Sadly, this tree did not survive the move (which was somewhere around 2002).  So, we left the container and got another pine tree to plant in the wooden tub.  This is what that tree looked like before it was removed yesterday.  It was listing seriously to one side and had damage caused by the neighboring maple tree.  We were thankful to have it removed by our homeowners association at no cost to us.  

But if you look carefully, you can see that barrel at the base of the tree.

When they removed that tree, the barrel fell apart and they gave us the rings.  Thinking about the last 30 years that we have looked at that barrel, in one place or another, we decided that we really needed to keep it.  And it seemed to be a great idea when it fit so perfectly surround our R.  I am sure some people will think that this is taking this "preserving" thing a bit far, but I love it.  Isn't it funny how the smallest things can hold so many memories?

When I sit and look over at that ring, I am remembering all of the first day of school photos we took in front of this ring.  I can see Halloween pictures and graduation pictures and all kinds of other family pictures near that barrel.  I am so thankful that this ring survived the clearing of this tree.  

I've been thinking a great deal about what "memories" I will have to scrapbook when I finally catch up and scrap the year 2020.  I cringe when I look at my photos and realize just how few pictures I will have for this year.  We have had no family get togethers.  We did not celebrate Easter together.  We have missed birthdays and anniversaries and so many other events. And Ken has spent way too much time in the hospital during this year.   COVID has made for a very very small 2020 scrapbook.  I just haven't been able to even blog during these unending months of stay at home.  So my blog book for 2020 will also be extremely small.   I guess this is not such a bad thing, since who really wants to remember this year?

I love how this ring is surrounding our R.  As I was reading what I had just written, I was struck by the truth this ring represents.  Our entire family has been surrounded and protected during this year.  During all of Ken's illnesses and hospital stays, during the Pandemic and now during this time after his diagnosis.  Our protection is so much more than a metal ring.  It is the circle of God's presence with us and his powerful and loving care and concern for us that will not be shaken.  COVID can't change that.  Sickness can't take us out of his care.  Even being apart from each other for a time can't take us away from Him.  Jesus has been with us through these months of uncertainty and He will continue to walk with us into the future.   I love the reminder from Psalm 23 that we are walking THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death.  The key here is to just keep walking.

So, even as the COVID cases continue to rise in our area and things remain unsure, I will keep on walking forward.  That ring is a reminder for me and our family that we are not walking ahead alone.  It is a reminder for everyone that Jesus loves us and cares about our struggles and our worries.  He is right there to hold our hand and help us take another step forward.  Make a decision today to just take one more step.  For sure, you are not alone.

Jesus, thank you for the reminder that your love surrounds and guards us even when things seem so shaky and uncertain in the natural.  Holy Spirit, remind us of your loving presence when we are feeling fearful,  Restore our hope for the things that are ahead.  Give us courage to take that one more step today.  Thank you Jesus for family, friends and neighbors.  Amen

National Sibling Day.....

I have seen so many posts today about National Sibling Day and I was trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to share about my siblings!  I decided to share this photo since it clearly shows the wide age spacing of my siblings.  This was Christmas 1955 and I am that little 15 month old sitting on the stool.  This photo was also taken at a house that the rest of my siblings would say was their "childhood" home.  I, on the other hand, really don't have any memories of this house since we moved when I was just 3 years old.  The house, in Watertown, South Dakota, is now gone and the lot is the current Post Office.   I never got to visit that house to try to recall memories, but I am thankful for the many stories shared by my mom and siblings.  So I feel as if I "know" that house. 

If I had to list first "childhood memories" of my siblings it might look something like this....

Karen - my first real memories of Karen are preparing for her wedding.  I was in Kindergarten and it seemed very exciting to me.  She had moved back home from college and she had lots of really amazing jewelry. 

Jerry -  my first memory of Jerry is his Ham radio set up in the basement of our home when I was 6 years old. He had post cards around a world map from people he had talked to all over the world. 

Julie -  I remember her "room" in an upstairs hallway when I was 4 years old.  She had pictures of horses all over the wall.  And she had a special doll that I was not allowed to touch!

Greg -  He was a cub scout and my mom was the pack leader.  I went with on many trips to the hobby store and also on the many field trips they took.  I remember the blue and gold banquet when I was 4.

I was thinking about the last time that we spent any time together. It was in 2005....

and it was for mom's 90th birthday.  It is really a shame, that as adults we did not purpose to spend more time together.  I often only saw my siblings while visiting my mom!  Being busy with our own families, living far away from each other seem like just silly excuses now.  Sadly, my sister Karen died in 2007.   And truthfully, I haven't seen my brother Greg since mom's funeral in 2011 and I last saw Jerry in 2011 at Doug and Susie's wedding. I also saw my sister Karen's husband, Roy, at their wedding.   I saw Julie at the wedding of one of her granddaughters in 2015.  So there you have it.... weddings and funerals.  The only time that we have managed to get together. 

I am always kind of envious when I hear my friends talk about being together with their siblings.  As a matter of fact, one of my good friends and her sister are part of my small group!  It would be nice to be able to have an impromptu gathering that included my siblings.  I am most sad that my siblings really don't know my children or grandchildren very well.  They have only spent a limited amount of time with them.  And it makes me sad to think that Lia and Ellie can not learn how to make Lefse from Karen.  Or that Doug never got to talk with Jerry about Ham radio. (Doug actually had his Ham license when he was in middle school!)  If Julie lived closer, she might be able to help Ellie learn how to sew.  Zeke has the potential to be some kind of engineer and I know he would love talking with Greg and Jerry or Roy.   And I am sad that I never had the chance to be really close with any of my nieces (no nephews- Doug was the only Grandson) and their children.  Certainly a hazard of the times.

So when people ask me if I am "close" with my siblings, I have to say no.... not really.  I am glad that Julie and I keep in touch via facebook and phone.  But again, I miss having her just across town. Or even in the same state!   I am feeling  blessed that I spent many hours listening to my mom share her stories of each of my siblings. I am also thankful that I did spend some time with each of them as an adult. 

So on National Sibling Day, I am feeling blessed to be a part of the family that God gave me.  While my situation may seem very different than yours, I know that there is a plan and purpose for the exact family that I have.  While I may not have a traditionally close relationship with my siblings, I know that there is a common heritage in each of us.  Our lives may look very different, we may live in different states and have very different likes and dislikes, but we are connected to each other.  Our shared ancestry and the heritage and spiritual legacy that has been sown into our family, continue into the future. 

Jesus, thank you for my siblings and my mom and dad.  You had a plan for me that included the exact family I am in.  Holy Spirit, bring comfort to anyone that is missing their siblings.  Give us all those reminders to connect or reconnect with anyone that is distant from us.  Jesus help us to remember that each day may be our last chance to make amends or share love with someone.  Your plan was always for families to be an expression of your love for us.  Thank you for that great love.  Amen

When a scent brings back memories.... and Operation Christmas Child boxes fulfilling a destiny

This is not the exact picture I was looking for, but it will do.  I think this was taken in the fall of 1994 (Gwen would probably know).  When I stated writing this blog I was actually looking for a different picture of my mom and me, but this one will serve the purpose.  I had one of those really strange experiences this past week.  I put a new "Shower Gel" in the shower and it was one of those seasonal scents that are not really a specific fragrance.  As soon as the hot water hit that shower gel, I was "smelling" my mom!  I can't tell you exactly what about this fragrance it is, but standing there in the shower, I was suddenly missing my mom.  I am always thinking about her around this time of year, since for almost 20 years she would come and stay with us over the Thanksgiving holiday.  We had so much fun and I have so many great memories of being with her during those visits.  As a matter of fact, every time I put up my Christmas tree I think about her.  We always put our tree up while she was visiting so that she had a small part of our Christmas celebrations.  I was just NOT expecting to suddenly be hit with this.

It is funny how these waves of missing just seem to hit at unexpected times.  And it is the littlest things that can trigger the sadness and grief.  Our family is always missing Lucas especially during November.  I am so thankful that we have found a way to not only remember Lucas but also to celebrate his life through Operation Christmas Child shoebox gifts.   

Each year we fill boxes with toys and goodies for children around the world.  I always do my boxes for boys around the same age as Lucas would be.  It is easy to think about the little ones who will find joy and hope in these simple gifts.  The best part of these boxes is that the children also hear about Jesus.  As I am filling each box,  it feels like I am helping to fulfill a bit of the destiny that Jesus had planned for Lucas.  In this small thing, children far away are hearing the Gospel message.  Even before Lucas was born, I felt that his destiny was as an evangelist who would carry the Gospel to the world in unusual ways.  So even though his life was only 10 days here on earth, Jesus has given us a way to see Lucas' destiny and his legacy to be carried out.  So many of the Operation Christmas Child stories show that in many cases, whole areas are transformed through these boxes.  Churches are built and lives are changed.  I am so thankful for this meaningful way to honor Lucas.  If you haven't heard of this great ministry of Samaritan's Purse, check out Operation Christmas Child.  Even though this years collection has ended, it is not too late!  You can pack a box "on line"! 

Yes, the missing is hard.  But when you can celebrate the memories and also honor your loved ones through helping others, the pain is lessened.  I am so thankful that our hope is found in Jesus.  The Christmas season is a wonderful time to reflect on God's great rescue plan to bring us all back into fellowship with him.  The season of Advent in the church is a time of waiting and preparing.  It's a great time to stop and reflect on the miracle of Christmas.  I recently saw this idea posted on line and I think it is a great one.  The Gospel of Luke has 24 chapters.  Just enough to read one chapter a day.  When you complete this during Advent, you will have read the story of Jesus' life.  I challenge you to join me and read one chapter of Luke each day.  You can read two today to catch up!  It will surely be a Christmas blessing for you.

Jesus, thank you for speaking your destiny for each of us.  Holy Spirit reach out to those who are having a hard time during this season.  Bring your comfort and peace to them.  Give us all insight into ways that we can honor and remember those who have died.  Jesus, bless all of those millions of Operation Christmas Child boxes and bring each one to exactly the right little boy or girl.  Thank you for your great rescue plan.  Amen

Sharing from one generation to the next and to the next....

Beginning again.  I started a blog post on Sunday but never finished it.  So yesterday I purposed to finish it and get it published.  After working on it for two hours, I tried to publish and it would not work.  I tried to save the post and exit to try again.  When I exited, the post was totally gone.  Sigh.  About four hours of work, just gone. This is very frustrating since the program generally saves your work every few minutes.  For some reason, the save was not working either (which I clearly didn't know).  But, I have learned my lesson and I will SAVE manually many times while typing each post.
So, to begin again.  

It's hard to get back into the swing of things when you return from vacation.  And the last couple of weeks have seemed very busy.  On Monday, Gwen and I took the kids to a new Jump place that was closer to my house than theirs.  The kids love these places and get tired of the same old thing, so a new place is always fun.  We watched the kids climb, jump and slide for a couple hours and then took them to lunch.  We went to one of Gwen's favorite places from her childhood - Colonial Ice Cream. Unfortunately the building is new, but the business is the same.  Gwen and I were reminiscing about the many, many times we went to Colonial after youth group and/or church activities.  There is something special about seeing the grandchildren enjoying the same things that your kids did.  It was just a little bit of sharing one generation to the next and then to the next! 

Over the last several years, I have spent a great deal of time thinking about and documenting (scrapbooking) my ancestors.  Having grandchildren really changes how you think about your place on the family tree.  In so many different ways, there have been lessons learned and new insights as I have discovered the deep spiritual heritage sown by long ago relatives.  On arriving home from our recent vacation, I was surprised by this package in the mail....

These two books were sent to me by a distant cousin of my mother.  Both books are written in German and were published in the 1850's.  One contains an inscription by my grandfather, Arnold Toensing and the other by his sister, Lydia Toensing.  The cousin, Delwin Mahn, who sent me these books, has no children or grandchildren.  So I am sure that he is trying to keep these very precious items in the family.  I am delighted to have the book belonging to my grandfather, and will be sure that it is passed along to the next generation.   Holding the book in my hand that belonged to my mother's aunt Lydia, caused me to really stop and think.  

Aunt Lyd was particularly important to my mom.  Next to her Aunt Anna (who helped raise her after her mom died) she was closer to Aunt Lyd than any of her other aunts.   Aunt Lyd's daughter Jeanette (my mom's cousin) was the same age as mom and they would spend many summers and vacations together.  

I couldn't help but think of this picture.  This is the only picture my mom ever had of her with her mother.  Pictured are Aunt Lyd and Jeanette on the far left, then my mom with her Dad and Mom, and the four kids are Delwin (Jeanette's brother) and my mom's sisters Beatrice, Phyllis and Eunice.  The owners of those two books - in one picture!  My grandfather and his sister.  Sadly, my grandmother Nora died around a year after this picture was taken.  My grandfather's family stepped in to help a young widower with 4 little girls (ages 8, 6, 5 and 2).  Considering this was 1917, not an easy thing.  

The most interesting thing about this story to me, is that I actually have memories of Aunt Lydia!

For my mom, one of the best parts of moving to St. Paul was that we would be close to Jeanette.  And we certainly did get to spend lots of time at her house. It was such fun to meet and get to know Jeanette (who was so much like my mom).   My grandfather and Aunt Anna had both died before I was 3 years old.  So I only have a few memories of them.  Every little grade schooler wants grandparents and I was always sad that I didn't even really have stories of my grandparents, let alone memories.  So being with Aunt Lyd was really special for me.  I even remember visiting her at her "apartment" in a senior living facility.  It was very sad when she died when I was around 8 years old.  

But here I am, holding a book that actually belonged to a very young Lydia.  And while the book is special for me, I would love to find one of Jeanette's children to pass this book along.  Sadly, our family has lost touch with all of them, so I am hoping that internet connections will be made to get this book to those that might treasure it the most. 

I am sure that in the early 1900's no one was thinking about saving things for future generations.  Times were so different and life was so much harder.  Even photographs were few and far between.  Only done for very special occasions.  I am so thankful for the pictures that we do have.  It makes sharing these stories with my grandchildren, so much easier.  Every time I think about ending this blog, I am reminded that WORDS are important.  Pictures are great, but if you don't know anything about the scene, it is pretty meaningless.  That is why it is so important to journal along with scrapbooking.   I am in possession of a very old scrapbook of un-labled pictures from Ken's side of the family.  No one knows who these people are.  Clearly they are relatives, but exactly who, is a mystery.  By the time Ken's dad gave me the album, he had no idea who the pictures were of.  And in the age of Instagram and digital pictures it is my fear that so many of these pictures will remain with no identification and no story.  So I will continue to blog and tell stories about pictures, to preserve in some small way, a bit of our family heritage.  

So after amazing views off of mountain summits, I have come back down to earth.  Down where blogs sometimes don't save and vanish at a push of a button.  Back to normal life.  But that panoramic view of the clouds and sky and valleys left an impression on me.  No matter what small thing goes wrong, there is always a blessing around the corner.  I love spending time with my grandchildren.  I love finding connections to my ancestors.  And I love that I can share stories and memories with all of you and with my family to make sure that at least some pictures have words with them..  

Storytelling is an important art and it has been lost for the most part.  The entire Bible is stories that share the great spiritual heritage we have been given.  Each one of us has stories to tell and we need to discover ways to share with those around us.  I am sure that there are many reading this who just might be bloggers or writers but you have never started out!  Make today a day so sharing.  There is so much love and so many powerful lessons when we start telling our stories.  

Jesus, thank you for the plan you have had for families since Adam and Eve.  Thank you for photos and computers and all the amazing developments that we take for granted.  Holy Spirit, nudge us all to share stories of your presence in our life and give us courage and boldness to speak!  Keep us all aware of the importance of being connected - to each other and to our ancestors.  Thank you for surprise packages that come with memories.  Amen

Sometimes it is right in front of your face.....

Today Ken and I made what might be our last trip to his dad's house to cut the grass and make one final walk through of the house.  Yes, we do believe that it is sold (closing is expected sometime next week...so we are cautiously optimistic that it will actually BE sold).  It has not been a totally smooth process, but we are extremely thankful that we are inching closer to being done.  Just before we were getting in the car to leave, Ken remembered that he wanted a picture of this......

As long as I can remember this door knocker was on their front door.  We tried to remove it, but those bolts holding it on were just impossible to break free.  I really believe that the door will need to be replaced if the new owners don't want to keep this!  Saying goodbye to this door, this house, this yard was just another level of goodbye to dad.  

Tonight at dinner Ken remembered that the lawn mower he used today was actually dad's lawnmower that we inherited when dad moved to Florida in 2009.  We could not calculate how many times that mower traveled over that lawn, being pushed by dad.  

Yes it was a day of closure.  And it was really special that the day ended with that door knocker.  Exactly as it should....with our thoughts on M.T. Rowley.  

Sometimes it is right in front of your face....just like that door knocker.  But other times the reminders are much more subtle.  I am so thankful that the reminders from the Holy Spirit are never hidden.  They show up through every day events.  Today the reminder was to remember mom and dad and not to just see "the house".  It has been 5 months since dad died and almost 6 1/2 years since mom died.  The process of selling the house is just a necessary event.  It has been easy to distance my thoughts from mom and dad....that is until dad's name was right in front of my face.  That house was their "retirement downsizing" house.  They bought it brand new and decided exactly what it would look like.  They once had a fountain in their foyer! (I am not kidding!)  Later they had an organ in the foyer.  I remember them hanging "grass" wallpaper in the living room.  They turned the master bedroom into a "workshop"  where dad built many dulcimers and mom painted countless pictures.  At one time there was a large loom in the family room (and I still have some place mats that mom made on that loom).  Mom made a large needlepoint alphabet wall hanging that was in our nursery and I remember it being "blocked" on a table in the foyer.  The first December (1973) that mom and dad lived in this house, mom and I made Santa and Mrs. Santa dolls.  It was the first project of this kind that I had ever done.  My mom had those dolls displayed at Christmas for over 25 years.  Gwen and Doug met their great grandma's in that house.  Ken and my rehearsal dinner for our wedding took place in that house.  Mom and dad celebrated their 50th, 60th and 65th wedding anniversaries in that house.  Mom had always said that she would only leave that house, carried out feet first after she died.  And she got her wish.  It is amazing the memories- the events- that happened in that downsized house!  

Considering all of this "remembering", it doesn't sound so bad to downsize!  Although we are already living in a downsized house!  However (as Gwen has reminded me over and over) we need to consider a home with no stairs or at least a bedroom and bathroom on the first floor!  Fortunately we don't need to face this for several years.  So for today, I am just praying that the deal on the house closes and also feeling so thankful for the years that mom and dad spent in that house.  And I am especially grateful for that door knocker that brought me back to what is really important about that house!

Jesus, thank you so much for memories, for family and for houses that are so much more than buildings.  Holy Spirit I love that you remind me of what is really important.  Thank you for bringing the buyers of this house.  Bless them as they make their own memories in that place.   Amen

The kids always remember the little things.........

Okay, I am now way beyond "parenting" and well into "grand parenting", but I am still surprised at what the kids remember and treasure from their growing up years.  Sometimes as parents, we make decisions for our vacations, for outings and just for fun - but then wonder if we are doing the right thing.  This week I watched (through pictures) Gwen recreate with her own children, many wonderful memories from times spent with my mom in Minnesota.  I started bringing the kids to see my mom during the summers beginning in 1986 (after my dad died and when Doug was finally getting better).  My memories always centered around Lake Maud, which included swimming and spending time by a lake.  So I found the closest lake to my mom's house that had a public swimming beach and that became a regular destination of our trips to Minnesota.  This lovely public park is on Weaver Lake.  It has a wonderful picnic area, an amazing playground and climber, and a really long slide down to the beach.  It also has a really nice swimming beach.  For someone from Illinois this park was simply unbelievable.  You can't find anywhere to swim around here, let alone for FREE!   Here are a few pictures from one of our first outings to Weaver Lake...

And here is the climber.......

You might need to squint really hard but that is Doug on the top of the climber and Gwen is down near the bottom.    I remember my mom being really surprised that the kids would be so excited to swim.  From that year onward, Weaver Lake was part of our regular routine while we were visiting Grandma.  Often my sister Julie would bring her girls over to spend the day with us while she worked, and we would all go swimming.  In the later years we had many picnics with all of Julies family that had grown to include many grandchildren.  On one of my last visits with my mom, she talked about these times at Weaver Lake and how much she missed going there.  She also recounted one time when Doug was a middle schooler when our trip to Weaver Lake was a comedy scene.  The wind was so strong that you could barely stand up!  But Doug insisted on swimming.  Mom and I spent the time hanging on for dear life and laughing on the deck overlooking the beach!  Yes we had a great laugh again, in the remembering.  

This week, Gwen and Tim and their kids met up with my sister Julie and three of her four kids - and their kids for a day at Weaver Lake!  And boy did they have fun.  And quite surprisingly, this park looks pretty much the same now as it did in 1986!  There are several pictures from yesterday posted on facebook pages that look just like the pictures above!  Only its a new generation of kids enjoying this beach!

Isn't it interesting that this very little thing - finding a swimming beach and playground for the kids- became a lasting memory for them?  There is a message in this.  These days so many parents think that kids need the "BIG" vacations (think major theme parks that are a plane ride away).  But take my advice, all the kids need is a body of water, some sand and a few pails or bowls, possibly some rocks (to throw into the water), and some playground equipment.  It really is the little things that they will remember!  

Once again I am stuck on the way that memories and events move seamlessly from one generation to another.  Now I am the grandma, seeing my grandchildren enjoying that park and making those lasting memories.  I am so thankful that the Spiritual things we share also make that same transition down the family tree.  The prayers and the traditions of our faith are learned and practiced by the children, as they see their parents and grandparents and even great grandparents in worship.  Even in this, it is the little things.  For me, I remember the smell of the candles being extinguished at he end of the service.  Isn't that crazy?  Anytime that I encountered that smell, I thought of church.  I love seeing all of the little children in church. Those weekly times, gathering with families and hearing the Word of God may seem like little things, but because little things are remembered, they become BIG things.

Take my advice.  Think back on your own childhood.  Find that very special "little thing" and then recreate it with your own family.  Visit a playground, park or beach that holds memories for you.  Gather with cousins you haven't seen in a long time.  Talk about the "good old days".  Most importantly, take a moment the next time you are in church, to find a child and say hello.  Engage them in conversation. If you are a parent, bring your kids to church!  Make a memory!

Jesus, thank you for the reminder today that sometimes the little things can be the big things!  Holy Spirit, help us all to share the little, but important things with those around us.  Keep us mindful of the importance of sharing our traditions, our faith, with our children and grandchildren.  Thank you for memories.  Amen

When the weather brings a memory.......

Today was one of those true summer days.  It was HOT and HUMID!  You could just feel the air hit your face when you walked outside.  This is really a great change since this has been a cold and wet summer.  As a matter of fact, Monday was 65 degrees and quite chilly.  As compared to today when it was 97 and humid!  Of course that hot, humid weather brought some strong late afternoon thunderstorms.  When I was walking the dogs, I was remembering being at Lake Maud....

As I was looking for a particular picture of Lake Maud, I found this one instead.......

In the back on the left, is my sister Julie.  Next to her is my cousin Corrine, and I am in the front left and my cousin Thora Lee is the front right.  A picture of sisters, sharing time at Lake Maud.   I really did not remember that I had this picture and it was very important that I happened to find this picture today.  We got word last week that my cousin Corrine had died very unexpectedly.  She was a widow and never had any children.  She lived in Tucson, Arizona.  It was very sad to think about her being all alone when she died.  Believe it or not, I think I actually remember this particular day that the picture was taken.  It was the last time that my Uncle Walfred (Corrine and Thora Lee's dad) was ever at the lake.  He was not well, but my dad drove to their house and brought them down for a picnic.  I remember that Uncle Walfred sat in a lawn chair through the entire event.  But it was actually the first time I remember seeing him NOT laying on the couch in their living room.  Unfortunately, he died during that next year.  My cousin Thora Lee is the closest to me in age of any of my first cousins.  She is two years older than me, and we spent many days together when we were at the lake.  I was remembering that the last time I saw Corrine was at my dad's funeral in 1985.  It is really a sad thing that time passes and you don't make it a priority to see those relatives that you spent so much time with as children.   Now, back to Lake Maud.....

I was thinking about one particular summer.  I'm not exactly sure how old I was, but I believe I was in early junior high.  My dad was putting "Knotty Pine" paneling on the walls of the cabin.....(one of his usual "projects" of the year).  That year was unusually hot.  I remember watching the sweat just pour off of my mom and dad as they cut board after board to be nailed up on those walls. There was not a breath of air movement and all we had was one small (very old) fan.    And we had several really awful storms during that year.  For northern Minnesota, this was very strange.  It was in the high 90's and I remember one day even went above 100.   Yes, it was a very odd weather summer.

I really believe that the reason that I thought of Lake Maud today, was so that I could find this picture.  I have been thinking so much about my cousin Corrine and also Thora Lee, who lost her sister.  My ability to relate to situations of grief and loss has certainly changed.  It is not so easy to just pass over these events.  It is good to enter into the feelings and memories. 

So I just took a minute and looked at that picture a bit closer.  I loved that amazing Juniper bush that we are standing by.  It was the centerpiece of the large front yard.  My mom loved that bush!  And here is a funny thing.........Bath and Body Works sells a shower gel with the fragrance "Juniper Breeze".  Whenever I have that gel in my shower, as soon as it hits the hot water, I can close my eyes and feel like I am standing in that spot - just like in this picture - smelling that Juniper bush!  I spent so many hours sitting in a lawn chair, right by that bush.  Ah..... Lake Maud.  How I miss you!

Yes, the weather today reminded me of Lake Maud, which reminded me of my cousin Corrine, which led me to a time of grief and sadness, which turned into another memory of Lake Maud, which left me with a warm, wonderful good feeling, and then a bit of sadness and missing.    What a mix of stuff!  And a mix of emotions.  In this short, little blog I have  remembered, grieved, regretted, recalled, celebrated, smiled and cried.  It's been quite a day and quite a blog.  But after it all, I just feel calm and peaceful.  It is such an amazing thing to walk through memories when you are LED there by Jesus.  When the Spirit is nudging you along a path it is so much easier to walk through all of the stuff - good and bad.  Because when you get to the end.... you always end up in a place where you know that Jesus had a plan and purpose for the entire thing.  Knowing he is leading lets you just relax and let it all unfold before you.  This whole thing today just fills me with overflowing hope.  Hope because no matter how I am feeling right now, Jesus is leading me to a new place.  

Thank you Jesus for using the weather and the "wrong" picture to bring me into and through memories, grief, sadness and into  peace and hope.  You are such an amazing and loving God that knows us and cares so much about all aspects of our lives.  Holy Spirit, help us all to move through these emotions and draw us along so that we don't get stuck in one place.  Thank you Jesus for your plan and destiny for each of us.  Amen

When memories are thrust upon you!

Early this morning I was rushing around and getting the kids ready to leave for the bus stop.  I sat down on the couch to help Zeke with his shoes and Anna walked up and pushed this in my face....

This is Gwen's "Pretty Lamb"!  She actually got this stuffed lamb in 1982 as an Easter Present from her Grandma and Grandpa.  It was her first really "important" stuffed animal.  She carried it with her for years.  She loved this fluffy little lamb....with a bell in it's ear.  And the bell still rings.  

Anna was quite happy to hug this no longer fluffy, kind of crummy looking and not so pretty lamb.  Yes, it was one of those times when memories were right there, in my face!  I was thinking about all the love that little lamb has gotten over the last more than 30 years.  Yes, I was glad that I kept these precious objects.  

Last week, Gwen was telling me that Zeke has declared his future occupation.  Now, remember that he is still 3 years old (but he will tell you that his birthday is very soon and he is very excited).  Zeke has declared that first he will be a daddy and for his job he is going to build waterfalls for God!  Now as a point of clarification, all fountains are waterfalls.  He loves to see any kind of water display that includes water shooting up.  So I have been thinking about this.....even during the time I was at the conference.  When Barbara Yoder spoke, she talked about old hymns and the depth that is contained in the words of those songs from the past.  Tonight as I started to write this blog, the following song came to my mind....

          

I have come to the Fountain of Life

	I have come to the Fountain of Life, A fountain that flows from above; I have passed from the waters of strife And come to the Elim of love; I have drunk of the heavenly well, In the depths of my being it springs. No mortal can measure or tell The gladness the Comforter brings.
	Oh, come to the Fountain of Life, The fountain that never runs dry; Oh, drink of the boundless supply,   For Christ is the Fountain of Life.
	I have come to the Fountain of Blood That for guilt and uncleanness doth flow; I have washed in its sin-cleansing flood And my garments are whiter than snow. I count not my righteousness mine— ’Tis Jesus that lives in my soul. I partake of His nature divine, And in Him I am perfectly whole.
	I have come to the Fountain of Health, A boundless and endless supply; ’Tis a secret man’s wisdom or wealth Can never discover or buy. But the secret my Lord hath revealed In the fountain that flows from His side, In the stripes by whose pain we are healed, In Himself as He comes to abide.
	I have come to the Fountain of Joy; His joy is the strength of my heart. My delight is unmixed with alloy, My sunshine can never depart. The fig tree may wither and die, Earth’s pleasures and prospects decline; But my fountains can never be dry— My portion, my joy is divine.

All I was remembering was the chorus that I highlighted above.  But, boy this is a great song about a fountain - Zeke's waterfall.  

And here is Zeke enjoying a waterfall.....on a day when we went to a small indoor waterpark.  He does love water.  I know that there is a call on this little boy - a destiny and a plan for Jesus.  So I would not be surprised if sometime in the future, we look back on this and say, "yep, Zeke knew exactly what he was talking about... he IS building fountains for Jesus".

Now I am sure that you are wondering what in the world I am getting at today.  This does seem like a disjointed and meaningless blog.  But here is the "punch line" to this.  I believe that there has been a spiritual shift happening.  I felt it at the conference this last weekend.  There is a new sound, a new thing, a new way coming that will change everything.  Yes, it is a revival... but it is not like anything you might think of when you hear that word.  It is a move of Jesus and it is all about being in His presence.  I am so thankful Zeke and Anna and Ellie and Lia (like so many other children) are being prepared for this new thing!  Zeke is already hearing from Jesus.  But it is also important to remember that this new thing would not be happening if it were not for the past.  Gwen has certainly poured much more into her children than "Pretty lamb".  But it is a great reminder that we all are connected to our past generations.  That song I remembered actually was written in the mid 1800's. The idea of the fountains of Jesus was alive in the spirit of Albert Simpson when he wrote the lyrics and music for that song.  Even though this is a "new thing", it is good to remember that God never changes.  He has had the plan in place and we are getting the revelation as we walk on.  

Tonight I am thankful for all that I saw, felt and heard at the Chicago HUB conference.  I am thankful for memories and the connection between the generations.  And I am thankful for old hymns that speak to us today.  The new sound .... this new thing...... it is real and it is here.  I can't wait to experience more of Jesus in the days ahead. 

Jesus, thank you so much for this past weekend.  Thank you for memories and reminders of how connected we are to the past.  Thank you for speaking to Zeke and giving his ears to hear!  Holy Spirit, give us peace and expectation about this new thing happening rather than fear and anxiety about the future.  Jesus, thank you for your great plan!  Amen

One of those important "Big" events.....

Today Ellie was one happy little girl.  She lost her first tooth. At school.  So she got a cute little tooth holder necklace and she was dancing when she came off of the bus.  It was pretty obvious this morning that this event would happen soon.  Her tooth was facing the wrong direction, yet it was holding on by a small thread.  When you are 6 this is a really big deal!  And there will be many more lost teeth in the years ahead.  Of course Zeke wanted to know when he would get to lose a tooth! Sigh.  That comparison stuff once again.

As a special treat today, Gwen was actually on one of her "spring breaks" and did not have to work (unfortunately for Gwen, each of the schools where she works, took different spring breaks. Last week she was off on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and this week she is off on Tuesday and Thursday.  Certainly not ideal....).  So we took Zeke and Anna to an indoor tot swim at a local park district.

Zeke had a wonderful time.  The water was a bit cold for Anna but she really did seem to like it.  She splashed and played and we took both of the kids on the very small lazy river.  Zeke is turning into quite the swimmer.  He really does well and even went under water today!  So for sure it was a really nice change of pace and made this day feel a bit more like a "vacation".  Here is Zeke going under water!

And coming up!  

And a bonus picture of Anna having fun in the water!  Yes, it was a super fun day!  

This has always been one of my favorite weeks of the year.  It is a week of "big events" on the church calendar.  It is Holy Week.  I love Palm Sunday.....palm branches and singing Hosanna to the King!  And I love that this also signals a change in my spirit as I focus on the events of the coming week. Maundy Thursday has always been a special day for me.  I love thinking about that first "last supper" and remembering that we are blessed to participate in this amazing meal every time we celebrate Communion.  Good Friday is one of those days that it seems almost impossible to do anything but wonder at the sacrifice, at the unbelievable gift that we are given through the Crucifixion.  The week ends with the joyous and wondrous cry of "He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!".

One of the best things about this week of big events are all the memories that are made. I have many specific memories of each of these "big event" days and I will share those memories on each of those days this week.   Today Ellie is celebrating a lost tooth that also means that she has made one more step up that "growing up" ladder.  For her it is a big event.  I am feeling happy that I got to actually be a part of Ellie's special day today and I got to swim with Anna, Zeke and Gwen. It was a day of making memories.

Jesus, thank you for memories and special times of fun with family.  Holy Spirit, help us all to stop and remember during this special "Holy Week".  Thank you for traditions and rituals that reinforce those "big events".  Jesus keep our focus on you!  Amen

Growing in admiration for both my mother AND my daughter!

Okay, so this picture may seem a bit out of place today.  But you will understand better why I selected this picture as you keep reading.   First of all, this picture is from 1980 November when Gwen was 18 months old.  I had taken her to Minnesota to visit my mom and dad.  I love this picture of the three of them.  It is one of my favorites.

So, as you know from my last blog, I spent the weekend at Gwen and Tim's watching their four children.  I had a really wonderful time being with them and got to have some time with each one.  They are really great kids and I had no issues at all over the two days and nights that I spent with them.  They cooperated, slept well, ate well and played hard!  But just let me add, I AM TIRED!  I slept about the same amount as I usually do (with maybe a couple of added interruptions), and we didn't leave the house at all (except to walk to the park), so I am at a loss as to why I am feeling this way!  Except to say that taking care of four children is hard work!  It is hard work at any age, but at 60 - yes it is tiring.

Last night Anna woke up at an unusual time and seemed hungry.  So I gave her a bottle.  For the next 40 minutes I listened to her "playing" in her crib.  She was not crying, she was just "talking".  I don't know exactly what she was looking at (it was dark in her room) or playing with (she had nothing in her crib except her pacifier) but she was just happily vocalizing from her crib.  She eventually went to sleep.  But during that time that I was listening to her, I got to thinking about my mom and dad.  There was a particular event/time that my mom always talked about as being very challenging but also very rewarding for her.  My sister needed to go to Mayo Clinic for some life saving surgery and she lived in Montana at the time.  My parents lived in the Minneapolis area. Unfortunately, my sister's then husband did not make very wise choices and he did not want to take care of their children during this surgery.  My sister's children were ages 9, 7, not yet 3, and just turned 1.  So my mom and dad brought my sister to their home, took her to Rochester for the surgery, and then cared for her four daughters during her hospitalization and recovery.  I was thinking about how much stress that was for all of them - my sister and my parents.  First for my sister......wow!  You are experiencing your own trauma but then you have the worry of your children.  For my parents, not only did they have the concern for their daughter but they had the care of these kids.  But here is what my mom would always say about this time taking care of Elise, Chris, Sara and Staci.  I remember her sort of telling a story on herself about her experience with disposable diapers.  She really had never used them and couldn't figure out how they worked. (This was in 1978 so disposables were quite new!). And having two in diapers was not something that my mom had ever done. The main thing she always talked about from this event was how my dad really stepped up to the plate.  I really think this might have been one of the first times that he was around with little kids.  During all the years that we were growing up, he traveled for his job and was not home much.  We were all spaced far apart and my mom and dad never really had two babies in the house at the same time! At the time of my sister's surgery, my dad had just retired and they had relocated into a smaller house in Minnesota.  Mom told how Dad had fashioned gates for the stairs on the first day that they had the kids.  Dad also took the older two girls under his wing and often took them shopping for groceries or out on errands.  And he would always get them special treats.   I am sure that this time was stressful for them and I know that they must have been tired.  But when my mom talked about this time, she always had a smile on her face.  My sister did well during her surgery and recovery and my parents were thankful that they were able to be there and help her during this crisis.  I think that my sister and her kids spent a couple of months with my parents.  This memory did cause me to admire my parents and see them in a different way than I had before.  They really rose to the occasion and managed very well.

Yes, I was feeling very thankful that it was not an "emergency" that brought me to Gwen's house.  It was a chance for Gwen and Tim to minister and share their gifts and talents with youth from their church.  And it was not a couple of months, it was a couple of days.   But Gwen and Tim do this "parenting of four small children" EVERYDAY!   Yes, it does increase your understanding when you "do" their life for a couple of days.  When Gwen says she is tired, SHE IS TIRED!  When they say they are busy, THEY ARE BUSY!  But I know that they are also filled with the love and joy from those precious children.  There are hugs, kisses and more hugs through out the day.  Zeke likes to do "cannonball" hugs (where he runs across the room and throws himself at you!) And he is not a little boy!  I just loved  hearing  "Grandma Lyn, come here!" When I answered his call, Zeke said "Grandma Lyn, I love you, have good sleep!"  God knew what he was doing when he gives babies to those who are younger and stronger.  And I admire Gwen and Tim for parenting their children with love and most importantly, with Jesus.

Last night, as I watched Lia, Ellie and Zeke in the "big bath tub" splashing around in mounds of bubbles, I couldn't have been happier.  Anna was already sleeping in her crib and we were all laughing at the soap bubble fun.  It was one of those times that I didn't think to get out my camera.  But I have those memories stored up and I won't forget this.  I felt bathed in the warmth and love of these children.   And I am blessed.

Isn't it interesting how Jesus helps us appreciate where we are in our own life through memories and thoughts of other generations?  I love that I can see my mom and dad in a new light, after caring for my own grandchildren.  And I can reflect on the times I had with my own children as I watch them with their children.  Can't we all look back on memories of our family - both good and bad memories - and grow in understanding as we see these events through different eyes.   I am so thankful that this memory of my mom and dad was "re-framed" by my own experiences this weekend.

Jesus, thank you for connecting me once again to both my mother and my daughter through this memory.  Thank you for times in the night to pray and listen to your voice.  Thank you for laughter and hugs and kisses.  Thank you for family and connections between the generations.  And thank you for a warm, comfy bed!  Amen

Where my mind is today......found in a mystery box.

So last Saturday, Ken and I were doing some serious "clean out" of those sort of hidden places.  You know, the drawers and cupboards that you don't really look at much.  We had several large garbage bags of true junk, several bags of stuff to go to the kids and some things to go to Goodwill.  Later in the day, I was looking around in the master bedroom walk-in closet, looking for potential Goodwill donations and I saw a plastic storage box stuck way up on the top shelf of the closet organizer.  So I dug out the step stool, and pulled down the "mystery box".  This is what was in that box....

This is my wedding dress and veil.  From 1974.  It was not packed carefully away or "preserved".  It was literally stuffed in a plastic box.  And I really thought I had gotten rid of this years ago!  This was not a "designer wedding gown".  I know that I mentioned in a previous blog that I got this out of a bargain list and paid $19 for it.  I did buy the head piece and veil and actually paid more for them than the dress!  When I THOUGHT I got rid of it, I must have had some hesitation.  For some reason, I shoved it in a storage bin.  I am so thankful right now that I did that.  

I know that most likely no one else will ever want to wear this dress.  Gwen and Susie both have amazing wedding dresses that were professionally preserved in case one of their children wants to use them.  But I have a strong feeling that somewhere down the line, one of those grandchildren will be thankful that I saved this dress.  Not for the dress, but for the memories.  I have spent hours and hours preserving pictures of events, people and places.  And I am beginning to understand how important it is to have physical things to go along with the memories.  

I am so thankful that these two items have been preserved and they are now in Gwen's hands.  The top picture is the cedar chest that belonged to my grandmother, Nora Toensing.  My mom had this chest (along with her own cedar chest) and she gave it to me when she moved into her apartment.  I had this in my home for many years, and passed it on to Gwen when she got married.  Now it is particularly special since Lia's middle name is Nora and someday she may get this chest.  The ring is extremely special to me.  I remember my mom talking about this ring.....well ALWAYS!  This ring was her mothers wedding ring and it was given to my mom's sister Bea.  Aunt Bea had no children and when she died, my mom received all of her belongings.  Finally, my mom got this ring and really enjoyed it for several years.  She felt very strongly that I should have this ring and I knew I needed to pass it on to Gwen.  There is something very powerful in holding these objects that had belonged to my grandmother.  Especially important because we never really knew her.  I could see it in my mom's eyes when she looked at that ring and imagined her mother wearing it.  

So just like the very solid and clear footprints that I have been blogging about, sometimes it is good to have solid and firm objects to touch and hold.  I felt a flood of memories when I looked at my wedding dress and touched the fabric.  So many things came back to my mind.  And I was amazed at how very, very SMALL this dress was (I mean, really, was I that small, way back then???? I guess I was!).  

As I began to write this blog, I was filled with the thought of the Communion Table.  This might seem silly, but to me, these elements, the bread and wine  - real objects - that you can touch and taste so increase the meaning for me.  I love that Jesus used everyday objects to convey a special Spiritual message -  His very real presence for us.  And tonight, I am thankful for objects that are physical reminders of important "footprints" in my life.  Yes, this whole thought changes the way I view the things that I have saved.  And I think it will change how I decide WHAT I will save from here on out!   May need a few more storage boxes!  

Jesus, thank you for knowing us so well and providing connections for us through things that we can see, feel, touch and taste.  Holy Spirit, thank you for drawing me down the path to understand the importance of preserving not only memories in pictures, but also objects.  Thank you for yet another depth of understanding to the footprints on my spiritual path.  Amen