Christmas Eve peace and hope

We had a wonderful Christmas Eve this year.  It was actually the day that we gathered and celebrated as a family. We spent the day together at Gwen and Tim's house.  We had lunch of snack things that are extra good on holidays - Taco Tray, meatballs in the crock pot, little pizzas on french bread, veggies and dip - well you get the idea!   After "snacks" we opened presents.  Before we knew it, it was time for church!  The kids got all dressed up in their Christmas outfits!

We took a family picture, but sadly it was not on my camera.  So you will have to wait to see that group shot.  I did manage to snap this shot of the four kids.  Don't you just love those fur jackets?  I sure did!  And look at that handsome boy in his sweater!  We all went to church and we have to take two cars since we all don't fit in one! I guess that is the mark of a "big" family!  After the Christmas Eve service, we returned to Gwen and Tim's house for a wonderful (and traditional - for us) dinner of Lasagna!  The time just flew by and suddenly it was time to leave for home.  It was such a good day!

Doug and Susie get the award for the best presents this year.  They gave all the kids (and let's be honest here - Tim) a set of Laser Tag guns.  The game has come a long way since the vests and guns of the 1990's.  The kids had a blast playing with these - and so did Tim!  And then Doug and Susie managed to get an amazing gift for Tim, who is certainly one of the hardest people to ever buy for!  They gifted him tickets to an event that he just loves- a gamer convention!  So yes, this was the year for Tim, for sure!  

I got some very special presents this year.  First, I got this amazing purple heart that Ellie made in her home school co-op art class!

 Ken and I also got this amazing Christmas Tree ornament that has the kids thumb prints.  I actually got to help make these ornaments this year!

 Ellie also painted me this colorful picture that is now hanging on my scrapbook room wall.  I love the bright colors and she told me I needed an "L" for Lyn on my wall! I love that it looks a lot like a waterfall that is that wonderful flowing river!

 Each year Gwen and Tim and the kids gift Ken and I something wonderful that comes from Haiti.  Their church supports a ministry that creates works of art from old oil drums.  I love that this represents both Christmas and Easter - the manger and the cross!  It is already hanging in our foyer!

There were so many wonderful gifts exchanged this year, but best of all were all the hugs and laughter that we shared.  Susie and Lia played a game of Sorry and Zeke and Anna worked on puzzles.  All the kids had Lego sets opened on various tables.  Anna spent a lot of time with her favorite present (also from Doug and Susie) a Peppa Pig camper!  So there was plenty of "snorting" going on!  So much food eaten, so much love shared.  

The day ended much too quickly for me.  We saw some great light displays as we were driving home.  There is something so peaceful about driving along roads that are mostly empty (especially when there are usually many, many cars).  Because it was late on Christmas Eve, all of the stores along the route were closed, the parking lots were empty.  There was plenty of time to reflect on the day.  I love the story of Jesus' birth.  Thinking about the journey that Joseph and Mary had to make.  The crowds of people that must have been everywhere.  But then, there was the stillness of the night.  The newborn baby.  The shepherds, out in their fields watching over the sheep.  The angels!  The star.  

The message...... (Luke 2 -from the Passion Translation)

Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared in radiant splendor before them, lighting up the field with the blazing glory of God, and the shepherds were terrified!  But the angel reassured them, saying "don't be afraid. For I have come to bring you good news, the most joyous news the world has ever heard!  And it is for everyone everywhere!  For today in Bethlehem a rescuer was born for you.  He is the Lord Yahweh, The Messiah!" You will recognize him by this miracle sign; you will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a feeding trough!   Then all at once, a vast number of glorious angels appeared, the very armies of heaven! And they all praise God, singing: GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST REALMS OF HEAVEN! FOR THERE IS PEACE AND A GOOD HOPE GIVEN TO THE SONS OF MEN!

Yes, there is that word "PEACE" that I was feeling at the end of a day of celebration.  But I was also thinking of "HOPE".  Each day, whether we are together or not, we remember Lucas.  Lucas is always a part of our time together because he is a part of our family.  But at these times, we especially feel his absence.  Even this year as we expectantly await Doug and Susie's baby girl, the loss of Lucas is present with us.  HOPE is also there.  It is that good hope that is given to us, because of that baby born in a stable, under the shadow of the cross.  It is that hope that lets our hearts smile and sing, knowing that one day we will be reunited with Lucas.  

That is the message of Christmas.  The miracle sign of a baby lying in a feeding trough, under the shadow of the cross of Calvary bringing peace and a good hope for everyone everywhere!

Jesus, thank you for silent nights that allow us to hear your message more clearly.  Thank you for angels that proclaim your truth to the world.  Thank you for sharing this message with shepherds who were just busy with their daily tasks.  Remind us that you still speak to us, even when we are distracted and busy.  Holy Spirit, bring this message of hope to all who grieve and feel lonely in this season.  Thank you Jesus for your great love.   Amen

Looking back........70 years.

I have been thinking a lot about this blog post for the last few days.  There are just some dates that you can't let pass without a remembrance.  I saw several news reports about 70 years ago and immediately remembered this.  A number of years ago, Ken's dad began talking about his experiences in September of 1945 while he was in the Navy.  He was assigned to the USS Beaver.  I was surprised to hear that he had visited Hiroshima with some of the other crew of his ship, as they did an investigation of the area.  He actually took a number of photos on that day, and he shared them with us.

Here are a couple of the photos from that day.  Notice the person in the bottom photo, just walking along the wall.  This devastation happened on August 6, 1945 when the United States dropped an atomic bomb on that city.  There are hundreds of photos of the bombing on the Internet, but it is a whole different thing when you realize that someone you know was actually in that place and took these pictures, just a few weeks after it happened.    I am sure that none of these men had any idea of the danger they were in, just by being in that highly radioactive place.  When Ken's dad was diagnosed with cancer in 1979, I don't think anyone considered that there might be a connection to this tour of Hiroshima.  Thankfully, Ken's dad's cancer was caught very early (thanks to a random exam by an on call doctor), and he remained cancer free for the rest of his life.   I do remember a later conversation with dad when he talked about the very real possibility that his cancer may have come from his exposure to radiation.  He recounted the early deaths of some of his friends who accompanied him on this trip, most from some type of cancer.  What an experience this must have been for dad.  To see the total destruction and horror in this town, yet knowing that this event helped to bring about the end of the awful war in the Pacific.  

What a picture of how our actions can have devastating consequences in the future, even when we have no idea of the danger.   But this blog is not about living in fear or doubt.  Or worry.  All week, as I have been thinking about this, Jesus has been speaking peace into my spirit.  And more than that, a deep assurance that He reigns over all the events in the world.  Jesus is bigger than any conflict or war.  He is the creator and the sustainer of this planet.  And more than that, He cares about us.  I love this passage from The Passion Translation...

So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. For he knew all about us before we were born and he destined us from the beginning to share the likeness of his Son. This means the Son is the firstborn among many who will become just like him. Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself and transferred his perfect righteousness to everyone he called. And those who carry his perfect righteousness he co-glorified with his Son! Romans 8:28-30 TPT

It is a picture of that care!    Using "hindsight", I can see how the plan for dad's life included that healing from cancer.  In spite of his actions, or even his "inaction", his life unfolded exactly as Jesus had planned. That passage is enough.  It is a reminder that we don't live our lives constantly worried about the future.  We don't hide our heads in fear of the future or question and doubt every action we take.  When we belong to Jesus, we live in Him.  Each day we stay connected to Jesus.  As we stop and talk and listen to Jesus each day, we are led out into that perfect plan for us.  

I am thankful for these photos that remind me of an important time in my father-in-laws life and also a truly historic event.  More than that, I am grateful for the reminder that no matter what is going on in the world or in my life, Jesus is weaving it all together into the perfect plan!  

Jesus, thank you so much for all that you continue to teach me and reveal to me.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the peace that passes understanding whether it is things of the past or the future or just today that fill my mind.  Jesus help us to relax in the knowledge of your great care and love for us.  Thank you for speaking to us every day.  Amen

When the weather brings a memory.......

Today was one of those true summer days.  It was HOT and HUMID!  You could just feel the air hit your face when you walked outside.  This is really a great change since this has been a cold and wet summer.  As a matter of fact, Monday was 65 degrees and quite chilly.  As compared to today when it was 97 and humid!  Of course that hot, humid weather brought some strong late afternoon thunderstorms.  When I was walking the dogs, I was remembering being at Lake Maud....

As I was looking for a particular picture of Lake Maud, I found this one instead.......

In the back on the left, is my sister Julie.  Next to her is my cousin Corrine, and I am in the front left and my cousin Thora Lee is the front right.  A picture of sisters, sharing time at Lake Maud.   I really did not remember that I had this picture and it was very important that I happened to find this picture today.  We got word last week that my cousin Corrine had died very unexpectedly.  She was a widow and never had any children.  She lived in Tucson, Arizona.  It was very sad to think about her being all alone when she died.  Believe it or not, I think I actually remember this particular day that the picture was taken.  It was the last time that my Uncle Walfred (Corrine and Thora Lee's dad) was ever at the lake.  He was not well, but my dad drove to their house and brought them down for a picnic.  I remember that Uncle Walfred sat in a lawn chair through the entire event.  But it was actually the first time I remember seeing him NOT laying on the couch in their living room.  Unfortunately, he died during that next year.  My cousin Thora Lee is the closest to me in age of any of my first cousins.  She is two years older than me, and we spent many days together when we were at the lake.  I was remembering that the last time I saw Corrine was at my dad's funeral in 1985.  It is really a sad thing that time passes and you don't make it a priority to see those relatives that you spent so much time with as children.   Now, back to Lake Maud.....

I was thinking about one particular summer.  I'm not exactly sure how old I was, but I believe I was in early junior high.  My dad was putting "Knotty Pine" paneling on the walls of the cabin.....(one of his usual "projects" of the year).  That year was unusually hot.  I remember watching the sweat just pour off of my mom and dad as they cut board after board to be nailed up on those walls. There was not a breath of air movement and all we had was one small (very old) fan.    And we had several really awful storms during that year.  For northern Minnesota, this was very strange.  It was in the high 90's and I remember one day even went above 100.   Yes, it was a very odd weather summer.

I really believe that the reason that I thought of Lake Maud today, was so that I could find this picture.  I have been thinking so much about my cousin Corrine and also Thora Lee, who lost her sister.  My ability to relate to situations of grief and loss has certainly changed.  It is not so easy to just pass over these events.  It is good to enter into the feelings and memories. 

So I just took a minute and looked at that picture a bit closer.  I loved that amazing Juniper bush that we are standing by.  It was the centerpiece of the large front yard.  My mom loved that bush!  And here is a funny thing.........Bath and Body Works sells a shower gel with the fragrance "Juniper Breeze".  Whenever I have that gel in my shower, as soon as it hits the hot water, I can close my eyes and feel like I am standing in that spot - just like in this picture - smelling that Juniper bush!  I spent so many hours sitting in a lawn chair, right by that bush.  Ah..... Lake Maud.  How I miss you!

Yes, the weather today reminded me of Lake Maud, which reminded me of my cousin Corrine, which led me to a time of grief and sadness, which turned into another memory of Lake Maud, which left me with a warm, wonderful good feeling, and then a bit of sadness and missing.    What a mix of stuff!  And a mix of emotions.  In this short, little blog I have  remembered, grieved, regretted, recalled, celebrated, smiled and cried.  It's been quite a day and quite a blog.  But after it all, I just feel calm and peaceful.  It is such an amazing thing to walk through memories when you are LED there by Jesus.  When the Spirit is nudging you along a path it is so much easier to walk through all of the stuff - good and bad.  Because when you get to the end.... you always end up in a place where you know that Jesus had a plan and purpose for the entire thing.  Knowing he is leading lets you just relax and let it all unfold before you.  This whole thing today just fills me with overflowing hope.  Hope because no matter how I am feeling right now, Jesus is leading me to a new place.  

Thank you Jesus for using the weather and the "wrong" picture to bring me into and through memories, grief, sadness and into  peace and hope.  You are such an amazing and loving God that knows us and cares so much about all aspects of our lives.  Holy Spirit, help us all to move through these emotions and draw us along so that we don't get stuck in one place.  Thank you Jesus for your plan and destiny for each of us.  Amen

Another step on the way.......

Today I actually completed the main portion of the painting in the scrapbook room.  This was not without its challenges.  The ceiling paint that we bought turned out to be terrible!  It left the ceiling looking like it was covered with water spots.  The "painters tape" actually ripped off strips of paint, that had to be painted over.  So this morning I took back one gallon of the "not working at all" ceiling paint and actually got some "works really, really well" ceiling paint.  And I repainted the ceiling and did all of the touch up work..........all by myself!  All that is left is the closet!  And this will not be an easy task.  I am thinking that I should be able to finish it off on Wednesday! (Tomorrow I am going to Gwen's so thankfully, it will not be a painting day!)

We had a really nice time at Doug and Susie's house on Sunday, being together with Gwen and Tim and the kids.  Doug grilled and we had a very "Fourth of July" meal of  hamburgers, hot dogs, brats, corn on the cob, and of course, watermelon.  It was delicious!  The kids had a wonderful time getting to meet "Lucas Bear".

This precious weighted bear came to Doug and Susie from an amazing organization called Molly Bears.  I would love to have anyone who reads this blog, click on that link and read about them.  It is just another very important service that you never know exists, until you need them.  It was so interesting to watch Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna respond to this bear.  Each of them has been in their own process of grief and dealing with the loss of "baby Lucas". Holding that 7lb 6oz bear was very comforting.  I know that Lucas bear is important to Susie and Doug.  But as I saw Ellie and Lia and Zeke holding it, I knew that it was important for them also.  It is just our new reality that, as a family, we will always be missing Lucas.  All of us.  Not just Doug and Susie.  The women who started Molly Bears lost a precious baby girl (Molly) due to a cord accident.  From her own personal tragedy, thousands of families are being blessed.  There was one line on the web site that really struck me..."It is amazing to think how many people are saying her name - Molly".  Molly will not be forgotten. And we will not forget Lucas.

Yes, there are steps on the way... Clearing out, cleaning, emptying out, painting...on the way to a redone space.  And this precious little bear is another step on the way into our new reality.  Moving on as a family, missing Lucas, but always keeping him in our thoughts.

I had another one of those "Today, God wants you to know" messages.... Today, Lyn, we believe God wants you to know that ...peace can be found in unlikely places.Even in the darkest storms, peace can be found by those who seek it. When turmoil and tension tear at your heart, pray for peace and most often you'll find peace in prayer. Of course there is no need to wait for a storm, pray for peace right now.

These last 8 months have been filled with turmoil and felt like a very dark storm.  But it has been  true that I have found peace through prayer.  There have been times when I really didn't know how I could get through without prayer.  Jesus is peace and He will give you that peace if you just ask.  I love the last line of this message....don't wait for a storm to ask for peace.  That is great advise.  We need peace all along the way!

Jesus, thank you for being our peace.  Holy Spirit, remind us to come to you for a daily shot of peace, no matter what is happening - good or bad.  Jesus, pour out your blessings on the Molly Bear family.  Thank you for using their tragedy to bless others.  Thank you for family times together.  Amen

A present that really lasts.......and anger turned into peace

When I saw this bag sitting on the kitchen table tonight, the first thing I thought was "I need to call my mom!".   Now this is silly on so many levels.... since my mom has been gone since 2011.  But here's the reason.... it was one of those "Black Friday" shopping trips, oh so long ago.  I really don't think that my mom had any idea that this bag that she got for Doug would still be in use 25 years later!  Gwen got a pink bag and Doug got an orange bag.  I can't remember exactly what store we purchased these at (wish I knew, I'd be tempted to go back and buy something there!).  Even the zipper still works on this bag.  It isn't like these never got used.  For a long time these bags were the only suitcases that Gwen and Doug owned.  They went on camp outs, sleepovers, mission trips, and vacations. They flew with us to California and Florida and went back and forth to Minnesota more times than I can count.  Yes, these were a first rate Christmas presents that were given in love by my mother.  Yes, tonight I was missing my mom!

The bag is on my kitchen table because we are "doggy sitting" for Sammy and Kylie.

Doug and Susie are getting away for a few days.  They really need this time away and alone.  It is so good to be able to DO something that makes a difference for them.  We love these doggies!  They are very at home in our house.  And they are not much trouble.  Mostly they sleep in their beds.  And I must admit, I was quite thankful this evening when I took them for a walk and it was pleasantly WARM outside (I think it is in the upper 30's).   I don't know if I would have been so willing to let them leisurely sniff around if it had been 20 degrees colder.  But, tonight we had a nice walk.  

While I was letting the dogs just investigate our neighborhood, I had a chance to look up and appreciate the night sky.  And I took some great deep breaths of cool air.  And it was a great time to talk to Jesus.  Sometimes doing something different really lets you break out of the routine prayers and just have a great conversation.  Tonight was like that for me.  I was surprised that I was really angry today. Angry that I can't call my mom.  Just angry that Lucas is not here.  Angry that our family is so upset.  Angry that Doug and Susie are going through this.  And the thing is, it was okay that I was so angry.  I felt so much love and peace from Jesus that it really almost took my breath away.  Even though I expressed all these bad feelings.  In spite of the anger, Jesus knows and he loves me anyway.  Isn't that amazing? And not only does he cover me with his love, he brings me another measure of peace.  So that walk did more for me than it did for Sammy and Kylie.  And in that I am so thankful.

Jesus, thank you for letting it be totally okay for me to be angry!  Thank you for reminding me that your love is so much bigger than my feelings.   Holy Spirit, thank you for showing me that no matter where my feelings go, I can express them to Jesus.  Jesus, bless Doug and Susie and give them rest, peace and love during this time away.  Thank you for your care and protection for my entire family.  Amen

The powerful memory of a Nativity Set....

I have been feeling very scattered in the last weeks.  It is just another part of the grief process that has filled my life right now.  As you know, I decided to put up our Christmas tree, but it was a long and hard decision.  It was just a couple of days ago that I realized that when I told Ken that all I wanted from the attic was the tree and the ornament boxes, I would NOT have any of my many Nativity sets down from the attic!  I have not been able to get that out of my mind since that realization hit me.  

As a matter of fact (Ken doesn't know this yet....) I have planned to run out to Hobby Lobby tomorrow and purchase another Nativity set!  If you are wondering why we don't just go into the attic and retrieve one of the sets, well.... it is a really big deal to go into our attic!  Right now we have a car stored in the garage.  And that car would need to be moved out in order to access the attic.  It is not easy.  So, I just might have a NEW Nativity set this year!  Yes, that will make five I think!

All of this has reminded me of this Nativity set.  When we first purchased our house, several years before Gwen was born, we started collecting this set.  Our first purchase was Mary, Joseph and Jesus in the manger.  Over the next years we gradually added Shepherds and sheep, cows and donkey, and the wise men and camels.  Eventually Ken built a stable that could collapse and fit along the wall of the garage for storage.  We added an angel in the tree one year.  We also added a very large star.  Ken managed to fix that star onto a long pole which we suspended in our tree, over the manger. It was a very large display for our very small yard.  We didn't have to give our address to the pizza delivery people.  We just told them to find the house with the big nativity set on our street.  It was always a big deal to set this up and get everything to light up properly.  The kids were always a part of this set up.  We tried to find a warmer day in late November to put this up.  There was more than one year that the set got covered with snow and/or frozen to the ground.  When the kids got to be high school aged, and no longer interested in helping with this, we stopped putting it out.  After a couple of years, we donated the set, hoping it would be used once again.  By the time we did this,it was pretty beat up from going in and out of our attic. Just seeing this picture brings a smile to my face.  These are precious and good memories.

We actually had a small plastic set that had been Ken's when he was little.  I carefully preserved this set and made a stable from a box covered with fabric.  It was precious but not something that the kids could touch.  The figures were falling apart.  One of the best purchases I ever made was the year that I bought the rubber nativity sets.  The figures were designed to be used by children.  Each piece was less than twenty five cents each.  I got two full sets that included all the animals.  Gwen and Doug each had their own set and we used a shoe box for the stable.  Both of these sets ended up in their beds more than once.  It was so good to have a set that they could really play with.  I was never able to put these sets away.  They stayed out year around.

Yes, I needed this tonight.  There is some powerful healing in these memories. This memory has brought me peace.  There is something about this remembering exactly what Christmas is all about that calms all that is scattered in me.  I am glad that I didn't miss this.  I do need to get a new nativity set for my house.  It will keep my focus right where it needs to be.  On the amazing birth of Jesus so long ago.  I will be remembering the whole story and in that, I will be able to celebrate this Christmas.

Jesus, thank you for this special touch tonight and the reminder that your story is cause for great celebration.  Holy Spirit, thank you for peace that passes understanding.  Thank you for helping me find joy during this season that seems so filled with sorrow.  Thank you for the fact that I can just run out and get another Nativity set, not something everyone can do.  Jesus, break through the storm of commercialism that bombards us during these weeks.  And thank you for Christmas Carols that touch our hearts.  Amen

Times of transition - hard on us and others!

This picture is Doug's first day of Kindergarten and Gwen's first day of 3rd Grade in 1987.  I was thinking about this picture while waiting for the bus this morning with Ellie and Lia.  Ellie has just started Kindergarten and Lia is in 3rd Grade.  I had Zeke and Anna in a double jogging stroller.  This is quite an experience for this grandma!  It's been a long time since I went to a bus stop!  Ellie marched happily on the bus (after giving both Zeke and Anna a hug and a kiss) grabbing Lia's hand.  This is, in itself, pretty amazing since Ellie wasn't so sure she wanted to go to school.  After a week, she loves it.  All of these transitions are really a big deal and I don't think that we appreciate just how difficult it is for these little kids.  Zeke looked a bit sad as we walked back to the house after the bus drove away.  He wanted to know when he could go on that bus.  When I told him that he needed to be 5 he kept saying, "I'm 3!"  Don't think he really understood what I was saying.  Zeke and Ellie are great playmates.  Ellie always seem to include Zeke in whatever she is playing.  So without her, Zeke is a bit lost.  He found his cars and all his ramps and finally played happily for a long time.  Later Zeke managed to get Anna laughing and laughing.  They will be good buddies as she gets older. But boy was he missing Ellie!

Here's the thing about transitions.  They are rough on YOU but they also effect other people around you!  Ellie is having some trouble with this big adjustment to full day school, and Zeke is having problems because Ellie is not home anymore.  Isn't it true that when we are dealing with the stress and shaking that comes with changes, we are NOT thinking much about others and how they are effected.  Nope, it is usually all about us.  I believe that most, if not all, of my friends are in some kind of transition or time of stress right now.  There is a lot of shaking and uncertainty.  And because we are ALL in this, each of us are in some way touched by the stress of our friends.   This reminder today will cause me to have a bit more grace for those around me.  I'm going to take more time to consider how my transitions are making waves for others.  Of course, the first thing that comes to my mind is how Ken is being effected by me not working.  I am sure this has been just as rough on him.  But I am so thankful for him!  Last night, after working all day, (with a storm approaching), he replaced the brakes on my car!  Yep, he was out there on that hot driveway, covered with grease, just so that I would have a safe car to drive.  WOW!  That's all I can say about this.  I am very blessed.

Jesus, thank you for Ken and those new, noise free brakes on my car.  Thank you for the reminder that other people may be just as upset as we are with the transitions we are facing.  Holy Spirit, give us grace to be patient with ourselves and others.  Jesus, you are the rock and our stability when things are unstable around us.  Help us all to stand firm on you and hold fast to the truth that you are in control!  Amen

Started the day feeling a bit uneasy but ended the day in peace!

Since we were visiting Ken's sisters I have been doing a lot of thinking about my siblings.  This picture is from 1973.  It is one of the few pictures of us together like this. I really miss my birth family.  During the last years that my mom was alive, I visited her in Minnesota at least 3 times a year.  And during those visits I usually saw both of my sisters and one of my brothers.  After my sister Karen died in 2007 and we sort of lost touch with her family, my mom often spoke about her fear that we would all lose touch and never see each other after she was gone.   Unfortunately, that has proven to be true.  I keep in pretty close touch with my sister Julie.  We talk fairly often.  And Julie was actually here for her granddaughter's college graduation last year.  Since this has come up, I know that this is something that I need to be thinking about some more. And I will be considering what I might need to do to change this situation!

I was thinking about that high school time for other reasons also.   Today I spent some time applying for some part time jobs.  I was thinking back on other times when I have been job hunting.  Quite honestly, I have been working most of my life.  I started babysitting when I was 13 and in 8th grade.  I had several regular clients and spent most weekends sitting.  I was earning $.50 an hour.  And that was good money.  When I turned 15 I was offered a job at the IGA grocery store.  I never actually applied, the manager just stopped me in the store and asked if I wanted a job.  My brother had been working there, so they knew my family.  By the time I was 17, I had gotten a job working at the Walgreens.  They had just started being open until midnight and I wanted more hours.  For a college kid, this sounded really good.  After some time off when I had been sick with mono, I happened to see an ad in the local paper for a full time secretarial job in the Industrial Park.  I called, got an interview, and was hired on the spot.  I worked at that job for 5 years.  The only reason I left that job was because Ken and I bought our house.  While we were applying for our mortgage, the loan officer offered me a job as a loan processor (making almost twice what I had been making).  I spent 15 years working in mortgage banking, taking just a bit of time off when my kids were born.

Quite honestly, I have not really applied for many jobs.....that is until this year.  It seems that I have sent out lots of applications and have not gotten any calls.  I have also applied in person for several jobs, and so far, have not gotten an interview.  But I have to look back on my job history and know that Jesus has been in charge of my jobs and what I am doing and where I am working.  This is one of those times when you need great patience and faith to wait.

Today I was talking to a friend about a revelation I had last night.  You know when people are told to "just see yourself joyful" or "just speak the truth about who you are in Jesus".  Well, the truth is that when you are faced with depression or difficulties it is NOT possible to "just" do these things.  WE CAN NOT DO ANYTHING!  Only Jesus can do these things.  It seemed so clear to me that what we need to do is to stop talking about ourselves and start talking about Jesus and who he is and what he has done.  As we praise and talk about Jesus, the Holy Spirit begins to work out all of these things IN us. That is how we are strong in Jesus when we are weak.  So with that in mind, I am going to start talking about Jesus who knows exactly what Ken and I need.  And remember his faithfulness and his provision.  Even as I type those words, I am feeling more patience and greater faith to believe that He will provide my job. What a great lesson for me. So thanks to nudges to remember Jesus' faithfulness to me in the past during job searches, and the reminder to praise HIM for all that he is and does, I am feeling more peaceful and have greater faith to believe that I will find the exact right job.

Jesus, thank you so much for bringing me through today.  I love how you work in my life and bring reminders from the past, along with Holy Spirit revelation to transform a stressful day into a peaceful evening.  Thank you for my family and keeping them in the forefront of my mind.  Holy Spirit, help us all to hang on to the things your have sown into our families and keep us from forgetting those now distant from us.  Jesus, keep us out of busyness and draw us closer to you. Amen

"Waiting in Silence for God only"

So I am remembering my last post......getting dumped on. Last night it became apparent that our Air Conditioning was not working - again.  So today we had yet another service person out to look at our unit.  And it was all bad news.  Both Ken and I thought our furnace and air conditioner were around 15 years old.  Sadly we were mistaken.  They are actually from 1993, and beyond good functioning.  So, we will be arranging to have a new furnace and air conditioner installed.  It does feel a bit like getting dumped on.  Especially since I have not found a new job! 

But here is the thing.  I am not feeling all that upset about this.  And I believe it is because of all the prayers that are being said for me right now, since I am unemployed!  Isn't it funny how that works out?  If I wasn't being covered in prayer by so many faithful friends, this might have really thrown me for a loop.  But today, it just seemed - sort of just one of those things.  As a matter of fact, I know that the Holy Spirit gave me wisdom and a potential plan of action to take care of not only this event, but also several other large repairs that are needed on our home. 

Being in that "dump" of the Holy Spirit on Sunday night sure helped and I am so thankful.  I've been reading Psalm 62 this week and meditating on everything packed into these verses. 

1 My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation.

2  He only is my rock and my salvation. My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.

3. How long will you assail a man. That you may murder him, all of you, like a leaning wall, like a tottering fence?

and then verse 5  My soul waits in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.

6.  He only is my rock and my salvation.  My stronghold. I shall not be shaken.

I can not seem to let go of the concept of waiting in silence for God.  On Sunday night we were talking about how often we babble on and on with our requests to God.  Like somehow our words are going to achieve something.  I know I have been guilty of this.  It's really easy to cross a point into feeling like if we pray the right words, if they are exactly right, THEN our prayer will be answered.  And the reality is that God is the one who acts in His own time.  And I have discovered this week that there is great peace in waiting silently for God only.   I had waves and waves of peace just wash over me.  No direct answers to my needs.  But peace that passes understanding.  Wonderful, warm, comfort as I just sat and waited in silence.  I have to say this was some of the most wonderful prayer time I have ever had.  I am so thankful for the leader on Sunday, that brought forth this particular Psalm, in this translation (NASB).  If I were reading this in NIV (my usual, preferred version) I would have missed this.  It really does not read the same at all.  What a blessing this has been to me!And the evidence of all the peace I have received, is my response to my broken air conditioning. 

Jesus, thank you for preparing me for this week.  Holy Spirit, I love how you know exactly what we need and when we need it.  Thank you for Nancy and her insights shared that bless so many.  Holy Spirit, help us to all to get comfortable being silent and waiting.  Thank you for the peace you give in the waiting.   Amen

The highs and the lows...........

Just had to start this blog with this adorable picture that Gwen just posted of my four little sweeties!  I guess every Grandma has the right to brag, and I am going to brag about these cute adorable faces.  I love that their personalities show in this photo.  I just want to hug them!  How can you feel bad when you look at these faces?

I am still sort of voiceless.  It has been a long, long week, but I am believing that I am getting over this stuff.  Let's face it.  Most people know that Chicago has had some wild and wacky weather this year and this week has been CRAZY!  We had a major dump of snow on Monday (about 6-8 inches), then on Tuesday the sun came out and it was actually "pleasant" (or so I was told. I never left the house).  Then came Wednesday and it seemed fine at first, but then it started raining.  By nighttime there was thunder and lots of rain.  Thursday was so awful.  It just rained - really POURED and the roads and the parking lots were flooded.  The snow was melting but there was no where for the water to go.  And then the wind started.  There was one point when our entire house was shaking.  Today I got an email that really brought clarity to the crazy wind last night.....

This is a picture of the church where I worked for 13 years.  Both of my kids were baptized at this church.  And the email described that this window was blown apart from the brick supporting wall by about a foot at the top of the window.  Thankfully, there were people in the building.  Because of quick action there was no damage to the building, aside from the window. This window has been through many, many storms since 1973.  It even survived the tornado that blew over the church one year.   So this just gives you an idea of the wind! 

So this is sort of the highs and lows of this week.  The highs are those four amazing faces.  The lows are my ridiculous sounding voice and the wacky weather.  But in it all, there has been so much peace.   I have really felt surrounded and covered and I know that this is the result of the many, many prayers of so many.  You know it is during these times when you understand the value of community.  I am so grateful for everyone who remembers me in their prayers.  This week I felt that support.  Even during the winds of sickness and the weather, those prayers kept me strong.  Those winds caused that window to break free of the brick support.  With the prayers of others and the peace of Jesus, I felt solid and strong. 

Thank you Jesus for your love and peace that both fills me and surrounds me.  Holy Spirit, thank you for knitting me into the community of believers and providing so many to hold me up in prayer.   Thank you for preserving this church and providing a quick repair to prevent major damage.  Jesus, thank you that you are the healer!  Continue to bring restoration to my entire body.   Amen

Should have seen this one coming.........

This will be a short blog post tonight.  After the amazing last several days at a conference, I should have know that a return to my "regular life" would have forecasted a "let down".  And today was certainly that in many ways. 

 

Now don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for this new job.  But the first day of ANY new job is stressful.  Today was no exception.  And it was a LONG day (9.0 hours of work).  And it was not without incident.  As a matter of fact, within the first 10 minutes of my day I had to fill out an "incident" report when one child bit another child.  Yes, that's right, the first 10 minutes.  And there are a lot of names to remember and lots of procedures and tasks to remember.  So my brain feels a little foggy.

 

And then, I really messed up on a couple of important tasks that I was doing that are really critical things.  And it was simply my foggy-ness that caused this. 

 

So I will be heading back to my second day of work tomorrow - another 9 hour day. But I am praying that it gets easier and less stressful.  And I am praying for extra grace and understanding of the people who are affected by my mess up! 

 

You know, its at times like this that I am so thankful that Jesus know it all!  He not only knows all, but he loves me just the same. He planned my new job and he will help me through the transition.  I am confident that I will be able to straighten out the mess I made, and I can trust that the Holy Spirit will help me know what steps to take.   And he is helping to give me a better end to the day, just by writing about it!  You know I am actually feeling more peaceful and less stressed.  Isn't that great!  So I guess I'll end this post with this...........

Jesus, will you please help anyone else that had a not-so-great day to relax and talk about it with you so that they can have a bit of this peace and calm I am feeling.  Thank you Holy Spirit that you remind me that mistakes happen and there is grace for our humanness.  What a blessing to have you Jesus, to help me turn my frown into a smile!   Amen

Peace that passes understanding

Isn't it always this way?   My last blog post was about needing a nap.   Although I was really tired last night, I had a hard time sleeping.  I fell asleep, but couldn't stay asleep.  So, as you might expect, I needed a nap today also! Since I am in the truth telling mode on this blog, it's been a rough couple of days.  But the really odd thing is that there is nothing really "BIG" that caused this, let's just say, a whole pile of little things becomes something very BIG. 



Isn't it awful when you can't quite figure out what is underneath all of that "stuff"? What is it that is really at the heart of the big pile of trash?  And more importantly, why am I feeling so out of sorts since there is really nothing "BIG" going on. I think that some people would just say that I have been in a "funk".  And that about describes it.  Today on the way to work (at 5:50am) I was thinking how much I feel like I need a vacation.  I know!  I read my last post about being content and this doesn't sound very content does it? 

 

Today during nap time, I was laying on the couch and trying to relax.   Suddenly, I was just filled with an amazing rush of peace.  It was warm and comforting and seemed to just flow over me.  I hadn't really been praying and/or asking for peace.  But there it was.  That wonderful, unbelievable "peace that passes understanding"!  As I just took some deep breathes and settled back, I realized that this was an answer to prayer - someone else's prayer!  I have so many great friends and family that I know are praying for me.  And today was just a confirmation of the power of someone else's prayer.  After a great 30 minutes just basking in the peace, the rest of my day was much better. 

 

So tonight my encouragement to you is to take those prayer requests seriously!  When someone asks you to pray, or you tell someone that you will be praying for them......... do it!  The thing is, you may not ever know how powerful that prayer is, that is until YOU are the one who is benefiting from someone else's prayer.  Prayer is such a foundation of the Christian life -  it is a two way communication between you and Jesus.  And when you are standing with someone else, and bringing them to Jesus, you are moving into another level of prayer.  I have worked with children for basically the last 40 years.  And I can tell you that children pray some of the best prayers.  They go straight to the point.  They understand exactly who they are talking to.  And they expect that their prayers will be answered.  I love having children pray for me.  If you have a chance, open your mind and your heart and spirit and ask a child to pray for you.  I am sure that you will be blessed.  Today, I know the source of the prayer that brought me out of that "funk".   And I am so thankful for "texting"!  Because I received a text this morning from a dear friend telling me that she was praying peace for me. 

 

Jesus, thank you so much for understanding and knowing how easy it is for us to fall into a funk.  And Jesus, thank you so much for good friends that are standing by, ready to pray for us when we are unable to pray ourselves.  Holy Spirit, thank you for bringing that peace that passes understanding.  Jesus, thank you for your covenant promises to us.  You are the King of King and Lord of Lords!  Holy Spirit, remind us all to pray when we need to be praying!   Amen

 

 



When I really needed a nap....

Don't you wish sometimes that you could go back and be a child? Today, for some reason, my little guy just did not want to take a nap.  He was in his bed for a long time, but he was playing and laughing and looking at books.  It was clear that he just wasn't about to take a nap.  I, on the other hand, was sitting on the couch watching the video monitor, struggling to stay awake!  *(Side note - Yes, a video monitor -  I can sit on the couch and watch the 20 month old, in his crib and listen to him also!  WOW these new fangeled inventions!) If I could have changed places with him, I would have!  I was the one who needed the nap!  Thankfully, he fell asleep in the car and at least had about 45 minutes of a nap, which made the afternoon bearable.

This got me thinking about the old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".  I am sure that my little guy was thinking about NOT being captive in his crib and would rather have been running around, while I was longing for my bed!  I remember that when my kids were much younger, I longed for the day when they were grown and gone from the house.  However, when that time actually came, I was longing for them to be back home!  Now, I look longingly at friends who have already retired and image how wonderful it would be to NOT have to get up for work every day.  But, on the other hand, I understand the many worries of health and finances after giving up your regular income. 

 

So, today I am going to take 1Timothy 6:6 to heart - "But godliness with contentment is great gain". Because isn't that adage really about not being content with your present circumstances?  Contentment is about satisfaction.  Being satisfied with the status quo.   Not being envious or desiring what someone else has.  Also, I think that gratitude is a large part of this.  Being grateful for what you have and where you are at in your life. And we have so much to be grateful about.  The list is so long, that I won't spend the time to add the full list.  Family, friends, health, home, jobs and Jesus certainly top the list.  Yep, our grass is very green on our side of the fence. 

But what about the times when our side of the fence has brown and dried out grass and the neighbors looks green and lush?  Times when illness or job loss or any number of of things hit us?  This is when we need to know that Jesus is the one that brings us that contentment.  Even as I am typing this, I am thinking of that verse "when I am weak, he is strong".  And in these times of our weakness, that he, Jesus, proves himself to be our strength.  And our contentment.   In some ways, I think it is harder to be content when things are going well.  It is so easy to forget how much we need Jesus and His contentment. 

Jesus, thank you for meeting us exactly where we are.  Holy Spirit, fill my heart with the contentment of Jesus so that I can truly be content in my present circumstances.  Even though things are going well for me now, Jesus, help me to remember that I need you to be strong for me.  And Jesus, please give me a good nights sleep tonight so that I do not need a nap tomorrow!  Amen

Step on the supersonic highway.......

I don't quite understand it, but here I am with another dream!  I believe that there must be something that I need to hear and take in to my spirit.  Since I am not hearing while awake, Jesus has decided to show me in my sleep! 

 

So this morning I woke up, thinking about something that looked a lot like this picture!  I confess, the only place I have seen something like this is in Terminal 1 at Ohare airport - the famous people movers!  In my experience with those, they are not very effective since most people walk rather than stand still.  In any case, that is my only frame of reference for what I saw.  In my dream I saw a moving walkway that was quite narrow and seemed to be moving very fast. There were people standing along the walkway.  It was as if they were waiting for the parade to pass by.  Suddenly a few people came into view on the walkway.  They seemed to be totally unaware of the crowds watching them. They sped by me so fast that I could not focus on them.  I did notice that there were men and women and they were of all different ages.  After one group passed by, there seemed to be a lull when there was no one on the walkway.  I watched as several groups of people passed on the walkway.  Then suddenly I was ON that walkway!  I had the feeling that I was flying.  As a matter of fact I could feel the wind in my face.  I realized that while I had thought the walkway was flat, it was in fact traveling up and down.  I also could not see anything on the sides of the walkway.  The strange thing was that I felt totally stable.  I was not afraid of falling at all.  It was an amazing ride. 

 

Today I was reflecting on this very strange dream.  I wrote down how I was feeling when I woke up from this dream.  First it was GOOD!  I was having so much fun - and I don't like amusement park rides. Second, I felt totally safe and at peace.  Third, I was totally unaware of anyone else around me.  It simply didn't matter who was watching me or who was with me on the walkway.  Fourth, I felt exhilarated and full of life.  It was like being charged up!  Fifth, and most importantly, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. 

 

There is so much here that I will be gaining insights in the days ahead.  Jesus wants to bless us and bring us to places of great fun and enjoyment.  When you are in the correct place, you are not doing anything!  Exactly like the walkway.  Jesus is responsible to take us to the places that we need to be.  And when we are on the way to that place, we need to be "blind" to the people around us.  How many times have I not gone somewhere or done something or said something, because I was afraid of what people would think?  Far too often.  On this supersonic walkway, I couldn't even see the people!   Amazing!  And I was standing strong, firmly planted in the foundation - Jesus the rock!  Even in the ups and downs and twists and turns, I was standing and at peace.  Yep, I want to be on that walkway!

 

Jesus, thank you for showing me your plan to take me where you want me to go.  Thank you for this dream of your high speed highway.  Help me to willingly step on to that walkway.  Jesus help us to all keep our eyes on you and let you take us along on this amazing ride.  Thank you for reminding me that YOU are in the process of moving me along, giving me your peace, and giving me joy in the journey.  Holy Spirit, draw all those reading this blog to step onto that walkway.  Thank you for amazing dreams and visions and continued revelation.  

Misplaced blame........

 

You know how you have a "love/hate" relationship with some things in your life? I am sure that most are familiar with that phrase.  Those things that at times are so wonderful, but then at other times not so wonderful.  Well, I have one of those relationships with my Kindle.  I confess that, in fact, I love my Kindle.  It's just that when I start reading I can't stop. !  So, when I have been awake half the night reading, I blame my extreme tiredness the next day on the Kindle. This is not the Kindle's fault - it is totally ME.   And the thing is, thanks to the  internet, I have in my hands an almost endless library of books, magazines, articles and other reading material.  And a lot of the books are free or almost free.  And it is available 24 hours a day.  No running out of reading material.  No searching the book shelf for a book to read over again after having already read it more times than I can count.  Just pick up the Kindle and in just a couple of minutes, there is a new book to read. 

The book currently causing me to be so tired, is Mark of the Lion, by Francine Rivers.  I think I have read most of her books.  This series of three books begins in Jerusalem in AD70.  I love the way the author is able to weave so much Biblical truth into her books, while creating a wonderful story. I don't usually read historical books about Greece or Rome or gladiators.  But this is a story that draws you in.  So, take this as a personal recommendation for the book Mark of the Lion. 

What is really on my heart tonight is misplaced blame.  I have been thinking about how quick I was to "blame" my Kindle for my tiredness!  Isn't that a silly thing?  But Yahweh has been showing me how many times I try to place blame somewhere else, rather than seeing that I am to blame.  You know, blaming the traffic but really YOU are the one running late.  This is really misplaced blame. Satan wants to keep us blaming others so that we can remain unforgiven and filled with anger and bitterness.  I have discovered that I am much less angry and upset when I take responsibility for the things that are my doing.  Once I do this, I deal with the situation and with my emotions about it and solve the problem.  Confessing whatever failing and/or sin and then seeing Yahweh's response is ALWAYS  forgiveness and grace that  brings freedom and peace.  The best part about this is that no matter how small and even trivial OR how big of thing it is, doesn't matter at all to God.  The important thing is that you accept blame for whatever you have done.

What an amazing part of Yahweh's great plan.  We can be forgiven and set free, just be knowing and confessing our wrong doings.  I think over the next few weeks, I am going to pay much closer attention to my thoughts when things aren't going right.  Before getting angry and upset, I can just stop and pray and trust the Holy Spirit will reveal what needs to be revealed.  And then I can walk in greater freedom and peace. 

Yahweh, thanks so much for your plan of forgiveness.  Thanks for reminding me that you care about the small things as well as the big things.  Help me to remember to stop and pray when I am in challenging situations.  Thank you for your peace and the freedom from holding on to blaming others and the bitterness that follows that.  You are a mighty and wonderful God.   Amen

(And, just for the record, I confess that I have re-read almost all of the books that are on my Kindle.  I guess it doesn't matter how many books are available, when you have a good book, it is worth rereading.) 

The carrot, the egg and the coffee bean....

If I have learned one thing on this vacation it is to breath in during the horrible storms we have been driving through.  Ken and I were remembering one amazing vacation several years ago, when we drove over 3800 miles and never had one drop of rain!  This trip has not been like that.  We have had rain, RAIN AND MORE RAIN!  And of course, the worst storms always seem to happen in the cities with the most traffic!  Today I remembered to breath.  I remembered to pray.  I remembered to ask others to pray.  And then I picked up my phone and started looking at Facebook!  Isn't that a good way to take your mind off of the wind and the rain and the lightening?  Which brings me to the title of this post.   I saw a little story that has been on my mind the rest of the day.

The story compared hard and difficult times to a pot of boiling water.  The water doesn't change.  Just like our circumstances sometimes don't change.  So the question is...............  when you are in that pot of boiling water, are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?   The carrot starts off hard and solid.  But when dropped into that boiling water, it become soft and squishy.  It really doesn't hold up.  The egg has a hard exterior. It seems like it will be fine, but under those hot and boiling circumstances, the inside become hard. The coffee bean doesn't seem to change.  BUT the water changes.  Instead of being effected by the boiling water..... it changes the environment! 

I want to be a coffee bean!  How about you?  I want to stay solid and firm.  I don't want to get soft and mushy like that carrot.  And I know that I don't want to harden my heart like that egg.  And the coffee bean doesn't just change the water.... it releases a wonderful aroma that draws people in.   Once again I am in awe of Yahweh's plan for us.  He designed us to be able to not only get through difficult times, but we can actually change things in the midst of troubles and storms.  AND we can release a wonderful aroma of joy and peace at the same time.   The best part about this is that the coffee bean doesn't have to DO ANYTHING!!!!!  It just is!!!   It just gets thrown into that hot water and then just has to BE! 

So, I am going to think of myself as a coffee bean!  I will remember that I don't have to DO anything at all.  Those tough and difficult situations will happen, but in the midst of them, it is Yahweh's plan to release HIS presence and power that changes things.  And it is His aroma that swirls out as joy, and peace and love.  What a relief! 

Thanks to the person that posted that wonderful story.  It has given me much to think and meditate about.  The story helped me to relax and travel through the storm as we drove.  I love little things that help me to hold on to these concepts.  Today it is a coffee bean!

Yahweh, what a wonderful, loving, amazing God you are.  I am in awe of your plans and your purposes.  You reign over the heavens and over the earth.  You are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Thank you for showing me your plan in the little things.  Thank you for the coffee bean! (And the coffee!).   Amen

I need to pay attention!

In the last two days I have discovered that, even though I have been writing this blog, I have not been taking in everything that I have written!   I blogged about the peace that Yahweh brings in the storms and the shaking.  I blogged about the covering of the love of Yahweh that surrounds us.  I blogged about the bitter-sweet rainbow after the storm.   Yet today I was amazed by Yahweh.

My husband Ken and I have just completed two "legs" of a rather long drive to reach our vacation destination(s).  Last night Ken drove in the worst storm I think I have ever experienced.  It was dark (after 8pm), there was SOOOOOOOOO much traffic - including large semi trucks, and the storm was beyond description.   We had about 45 miles to our hotel and at times I really didn't know if we would make it.  Our car was shaking, the road was covered in several inches of rain and you could not see a thing. The sky was just constant lightening strikes all around.  And did I mention that we were in the middle of downtown Louisville, Kentucky?   At the moment, I confess, I was not thinking about Yahweh's peace!  I should have been.   When we were about 22 miles from the hotel, and mostly out of the city of Louisville, I think I finally took a breath.  It was still a downpour, but the traffic had eased up and you could sort of see.  And I was just simply so grateful to have gotten through this storm.  It stormed for most of the night.  Both Ken and I were a bit shaken up.  As I was laying in bed, in my thankfulness to Yahweh, I remembered His promise of peace in the storm.

There were more storms predicted along our route for today, and I called on my good friends and intercessors to cover our trip in prayer.  And because Yahweh is faithful, we were able to avoid the majority of the major storms that were in our path.  We stopped and had a longer than usual lunch, which kept us out of a major storm crossing our route.  And just as we were passing the last major storm system (which never did cause us any rain), right in front of us, an amazing rainbow formed!  It was truly a reminder of Yahweh's promises to us.  The last 100 miles of our trip were clear sailing. 

So take my advice....... 1.  In the midst of the storm, remember Yahweh's peace!  2.  ASK for prayer covering and support - it makes a difference when you know others are standing with you.  3.  Remember Yahweh's covenant promises!  He always keeps them. 

Thank you Yahweh for calling me your child.  Thank you for your love and your amazing promises.  And thank you for being patient with me - even when I don't remember to trust you in the midst of the storm.  

More Banners!

Last night I attended a worship night sponsored by Chicago HUB Ministries.  In my experience, it is always worth it to press through and get to the HUB meetings.  You can be sure that you will be in an anointed place and hear from Yahweh.   Just before I left the house, I updated my blog.  So the Banner was flying over me as worship began.   Suddenly I saw a rainbow of banners over me and noticed right away that there was writing on each banner.  


The first was the gold banner!  It said.... WAIT  WEIGHT
Then I noticed the blue banner! It said..... RAINING  REIGN
Then the third was the red banner! It said.... PRESENT  PRESENCE
The fourth was the green banner!  It said ....... PIECE PEACE
And the white banner was also there! It said.......WHOLLY HOLY

*Isn't it neat the way that Yahweh uses the words of our English language to speak?

I heard Yahweh say.................

Wait for the weight of my glory to fall over you, on you and in you.  I will be raining down the power and anointing of my reign. Open your heart and receive the present of my presence. All that I am and all that is in me, is in you.  Bask in your piece of my peace.  For it is my glory, my power and anointing, and my peace that is the path to wholly holy. 

                                                            

And all I could say was WOW!!!!!

 

The worship was so great.  The Word was just amazing.  There was even more revelation as the night went on.  It was a simply fantastic night.  Expect some future blog posts as I digest all the wonderful nuggets from last night. 

 

Thank you  Yahweh for speaking to me.  Thank you Nancy Mageira and Chicago HUB Ministries for all that you do to make these opportunities possible. 

 

 

Thunder, Lightning, and shofar blasts

Last night there was a dozy of a storm.  The entire building at the Cyrus Ministries Big Rock facility was shaking as the thunder roared (with the added vibration of a passing freight train!).  The lightning was just flashing all over the sky.  And during worship I heard the blast of a shofar.  Now, I confess, that I am more apt to SEE something unusual during worship, but last night I heard that shofar blast.  And that reminded me.......

One night last week I had my sleep interrupted three different times when I was sure that there was a shofar blast!  I have learned that when something like this happens, it is best to take time to stop and ask Yahweh for an explanation.  I was awake for quite some time, but did not have any clear answer.  Just after I got up early the next morning, I heard "the three shofar blasts were three walls broken and three gates opened" 

Okay - this is an exciting word!  I could imagine some walls that I have been facing just crumbling.  I was thinking about Joshua and the walls of Jericho.  But what were these opened gates?

Then several hours later, just going about my daily routine, and continuing to ponder those shofar blasts, I heard Yahweh's explanation.....

     Wall of hopelessness and despair broken and gate of joy and peace opened!
     Wall of disease and infirmity broken and gate of health and healing opened!
     Wall of disappointment & discouragement broken and gate of provision & opportunity opened!

Last night when that shofar sounded, Yahweh was sending forth His power and doing battle in the heavenly realm FOR US!   At those times when we are so tired, so hopeless and so beaten down, HE is sending forth his angels to break down those walls.  When we are sick and hurting, HE has opened the gate of restored health for us.  No matter what our current situation is - how bleak things may look, HE has not only provision but opportunities for us. 

What a comforting thought. I am so glad that I am not responsible for all the spiritual warfare.   It's great to be reminded that Yahweh wants to breakthrough even the nasty, tough areas of my life.  And His plan for me includes everything that is needed and the place to complete it. 

Tonight I am very thankful - thankful for safe travel home during that nasty storm last night.  And thankful for a deeper revelation of Yahweh.  I am also thankful that I am going deeper in "getting" who Jesus is!