When it's so close you can almost touch it.......

I was thinking about the title of this blog, and suddenly this picture popped into my mind.  I took this picture while standing on Canadian soil.  And that point in this picture is New York, USA.  It is so close and yet, so far away.  Separated by the Niagara River, two countries with very different governments and laws.  I was on foreign soil, seeing my homeland but unable to get there.  Now I was not in anyway distressed by that fact at that time.   I was on a wonderful adventure, anticipating seeing Niagara Falls.  I had no fear of being out of my country.

I thought I was close to finding a new job.  It seemed like it might really work out.  But, alas, even though it was so close, I just couldn't touch it.  This was my call.  I decided that this job just would not work out for me.  I actually was offered the job, with some conditions.  But some things are just not worth it.  And this is one of those times.  So, I will continue with my job search and trust that Jesus will provide exactly the right job at the right time.

I had this show up in my email today....another one of those messages from that Facebook sight.

Today, Lyn, we believe God wants you to know that ...

the quality of life is a result of many small actions.

It's not New Year resolutions, nor big promises that make or break life,

 it's the innumerable small actions you take every hour that compound 

into a life well lived.  Look at how  you are living moment to moment to know whether

 at the end of your life  you will be looking back with pride or sorrow.

I love when these things hit at exactly where I am - right at this moment!  I've been thinking a lot about the quality of life recently.  I have also been thinking about the end of life after visiting with Ken's dad.  And here is the thing, right now Ken's dad is doing a lot of looking back with sorrow.  He seems to be locked into a place of only seeing the negative and bad things from his 94 years.  Now I know that this is due, in part, to dementia.  But it has caused me to think about how I am living my own life.  I love the thought above, that it is every little small thing that makes the difference.  After I first read this thought, I have been thinking about the little things in my life right now.  And there are many.  The special times with Anna, Zeke, Ellie and Lia.... and Gwen.  I don't think I could ever make so many great memories any other way than spending time with them.  I am so thankful for the time that I get to spend with Ken. We seem to always find ways to laugh - usually at ourselves for some silly thing that has happened.  Tomorrow we are spending time together - all of us - including Doug and Susie - and I know that there will be many small things that will become wonderful memories.  

I don't know about you, but I want to remember this lesson and hold on to the message.  This is really a BIG thing!  Isn't that just like Jesus?  So many truths seem like an oxymoron.  You know, things like "when you are weak than you will be strong"  or "you need to die to live".   In this case, it's the little things that are really the big thing.  This is one truth that will stay with me, thanks to the timing of the message, I really get it.  I encourage you all to see the small things in your life and appreciate what might be happening in those things.  Let's all decide to keep our eyes on the moments that will bring us long term happiness.  

Jesus, thank you for giving us concrete ways to understand your truths.  Help us to grow in understanding this important truth that the small actions we make can have long term consequences toward a well lived life.  Holy Spirit, give us eyes to see the little things that really matter.  Thank you for your grace and discernment that steered me away from a bad decision about a job.  Jesus, I know that you have something for me.  Increase my patience, and help me wait and search with a spirit of peace and joy.   Amen

Some things never change!

I just had to use this picture tonight!  I'll let you in on a little secret of our household.  Ken eats lots of Popsicles.....STILL!  As a matter of fact, he was sitting in his recliner, having a popsicle when I came upstairs a bit ago.  Granted that the ones in our freezer these days are "sugar free", but they are still popsicles!  Apparently he has always liked them!  This picture is Ken and a cousin at somewhere around 2 or 3 years old.  Yes, some things never change.

I accomplished quite a number of things today, including applying for several jobs.  It was a very pleasant surprise to receive a call to schedule an in-person interview for Friday afternoon for one of these jobs.  So, I will continue my patient waiting and trust that if this is the job for me, all will work out.  Prayers are appreciated!

I have been thinking about one of those silly Facebook "tests" that so often come up on your newsfeed.  "What career were you meant for?"  I got WRITER!

Just a couple of years ago I would have said that this was ridiculous.  But here I am writing a blog. And in truth-telling, I have had more than one prophetic word and several dreams about writing a book.  And I have written a small booklet (which I talked about in a previous blog).  But actually thinking of myself with a "career" as a writer, seems......well unreal.  I am really mystified by this small exercise that came up with this conclusion after my answers to 13 questions.  If it is just random, it is pretty amazing.  Several of my Facebook friends have gotten "therapist" and more than one of them actually DO that job.  I think it was interesting to me especially in this time of job searching, since I am really not exactly sure where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing!  

In light of the "title" I put on this post tonight, I guess that a career IS something that can change.  I have been a babysitter, cashier, secretary, loan processor, loan closer, loan shipper, secretary, nanny, and teacher assistant in careers that actually paid a salary.  I have also been a youth leader, Sunday school superintendent, children's ministry director, small group facilitator, and countless other "volunteer" positions in various churches and ministries.  So, looking at that list, my "career" has certainly changed many, many times.    This funny thing about this is that with the exception of my last rather short lived job, I have stayed at my three previous jobs 4 years, 13 years,  and 6 years.  So I am not exactly a "job hopper".  Given the test above (and this blog), I guess I should add writer to my list of "volunteer" jobs.  

All I can think about is Jeremiah 29:11-14a.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me,  and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

I love these Bible verses for so many reasons.   He knows the plans he has for me!  They are good plans for now and the future.  He will listen to me!  And when I look for Him, I WILL find him.  So I don't have to figure out the best career I should have.  I just need to seek Jesus with my whole heart and He will take care of the rest.  What a great thought to end this busy day.  

Jesus, thank you for bringing me full circle today on my job search.  You are in charge of the details of this and so I will trust.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the reminder that it is good that some things never seem to change.  But also it is good that we DO change and grow.  Thank you for wonderful childhood treats that can still satisfy us today.  Amen

Started the day feeling a bit uneasy but ended the day in peace!

Since we were visiting Ken's sisters I have been doing a lot of thinking about my siblings.  This picture is from 1973.  It is one of the few pictures of us together like this. I really miss my birth family.  During the last years that my mom was alive, I visited her in Minnesota at least 3 times a year.  And during those visits I usually saw both of my sisters and one of my brothers.  After my sister Karen died in 2007 and we sort of lost touch with her family, my mom often spoke about her fear that we would all lose touch and never see each other after she was gone.   Unfortunately, that has proven to be true.  I keep in pretty close touch with my sister Julie.  We talk fairly often.  And Julie was actually here for her granddaughter's college graduation last year.  Since this has come up, I know that this is something that I need to be thinking about some more. And I will be considering what I might need to do to change this situation!

I was thinking about that high school time for other reasons also.   Today I spent some time applying for some part time jobs.  I was thinking back on other times when I have been job hunting.  Quite honestly, I have been working most of my life.  I started babysitting when I was 13 and in 8th grade.  I had several regular clients and spent most weekends sitting.  I was earning $.50 an hour.  And that was good money.  When I turned 15 I was offered a job at the IGA grocery store.  I never actually applied, the manager just stopped me in the store and asked if I wanted a job.  My brother had been working there, so they knew my family.  By the time I was 17, I had gotten a job working at the Walgreens.  They had just started being open until midnight and I wanted more hours.  For a college kid, this sounded really good.  After some time off when I had been sick with mono, I happened to see an ad in the local paper for a full time secretarial job in the Industrial Park.  I called, got an interview, and was hired on the spot.  I worked at that job for 5 years.  The only reason I left that job was because Ken and I bought our house.  While we were applying for our mortgage, the loan officer offered me a job as a loan processor (making almost twice what I had been making).  I spent 15 years working in mortgage banking, taking just a bit of time off when my kids were born.

Quite honestly, I have not really applied for many jobs.....that is until this year.  It seems that I have sent out lots of applications and have not gotten any calls.  I have also applied in person for several jobs, and so far, have not gotten an interview.  But I have to look back on my job history and know that Jesus has been in charge of my jobs and what I am doing and where I am working.  This is one of those times when you need great patience and faith to wait.

Today I was talking to a friend about a revelation I had last night.  You know when people are told to "just see yourself joyful" or "just speak the truth about who you are in Jesus".  Well, the truth is that when you are faced with depression or difficulties it is NOT possible to "just" do these things.  WE CAN NOT DO ANYTHING!  Only Jesus can do these things.  It seemed so clear to me that what we need to do is to stop talking about ourselves and start talking about Jesus and who he is and what he has done.  As we praise and talk about Jesus, the Holy Spirit begins to work out all of these things IN us. That is how we are strong in Jesus when we are weak.  So with that in mind, I am going to start talking about Jesus who knows exactly what Ken and I need.  And remember his faithfulness and his provision.  Even as I type those words, I am feeling more patience and greater faith to believe that He will provide my job. What a great lesson for me. So thanks to nudges to remember Jesus' faithfulness to me in the past during job searches, and the reminder to praise HIM for all that he is and does, I am feeling more peaceful and have greater faith to believe that I will find the exact right job.

Jesus, thank you so much for bringing me through today.  I love how you work in my life and bring reminders from the past, along with Holy Spirit revelation to transform a stressful day into a peaceful evening.  Thank you for my family and keeping them in the forefront of my mind.  Holy Spirit, help us all to hang on to the things your have sown into our families and keep us from forgetting those now distant from us.  Jesus, keep us out of busyness and draw us closer to you. Amen

Day 5 - When you need a job..... another story

I am so thankful that I was reminded of this story today!  I really needed to remember that Jesus is in charge of the job search, and this testimony should help me hold on to that truth!

Well, I had been a part time secretary in a church for 7 years.  It was a good job while the kids were still in school.  It allowed me to work hours that matched their school hours.  As a matter of fact, I was able to start at 7:00am and be done by the time they got home from school.  But suddenly, Gwen was going to college and it was clear that I needed to find a full time job.  I had been looking for a few months, but had really not found anything.  It was a busy, busy time.  I was preparing to lead a mission trip with 12 youth to an Indian Reservation in Minnesota.  I also had a vacation planned to visit with my mom before that trip.  We were packing Gwen's stuff, and basically, things were just crazy.  One day I saw an ad in the local paper for a full time secretary at a church in a nearby town.  Here's the thing.  I was once a member of that church and both of my kids had been baptized there!  I had a bit of a history with them.  So I quickly dashed off a cover letter and faxed my resume to them. 
The next day I got a call for an interview.  Needless to say, I fit this into my very crazy schedule. 
After that interview I wasn't very confident that I would get a call back.  The person who interviewed me didn't seem very excited when she heard that I was a former member.  But the next day, I got that call to come in for a second interview.  I was leaving for Minnesota the next day. 

I put the interview out of my mind and left for a very crazy and hectic two and a half weeks.  It was sometime in the second week, that my mom's phone rang with a call for me!  They were offering me the job.  There was flexibility to give two weeks notice on my current job, and to also work the new job in the afternoon hours!  (They were desperate to have a new secretary.  They had lost 2 people in the last six months and had been using volunteers for most of the summer).  I gladly took this job. 
And it ended up that I actually stayed at this job for the next 12 years! 

Now here is the part of this story that makes it such a JESUS story!  During the first week I worked in this office, I noticed that the fax machine was not working.  I tried to get it to work, without success.  When I mentioned it to the person training me (who happened to be the person who interviewed me) she seemed so surprised.  It turns out that my resume was the only response they got to their ad for the job!  They had no idea that the fax machine had mysteriously broken AFTER my resume came through.  I am certain that Jesus has a way of making sure that the right person ends up in the right job.  Or should I say, that I got exactly the job that I was supposed to have. 

Yes, this is an encouragement to me since I am, once again, in a job search.  So I will continue to send out those resumes and trust that everything will align when it is the exact right job for me.  But as a reminder, I need to point out that I still need to do my work.  I have to keep on looking and keep on applying.  With that, I know that the doors will open when the time is exactly right. 

Jesus, thank you for showing me your hand in my job searches.  Holy Spirit, encourage all that are job searching right now.  Jesus  you are willing to guide and direct us when we ask.  Thank you for your care and concern for every detail of our day to day life.   Jesus, thank you that you will use everything - even Fax machines to accomplish your plan for us!  And, thank you, once again, for the encouragement to share these stories.  Amen