(Watching) Dancing my way into the New Year.

Well, here we are in 2022.  And we are STILL in the midst of the Covid pandemic.  As a matter of fact, so many of the "normal" things that had finally come back in late 2021, are now on pause, once again.  Lia and Ellie have been practicing for months with their Dance Connection special performing group, Spotlight.  These girls (and boys) work long hours, doing extra classes and learn extra dances, just to perform.  The purpose of this group is USUALLY to entertain at nursing homes and care facilities for the surrounding communities.  Then Covid, again.  So the very creative and wonderful owner and teachers of this studio, decided to do a series of shows for the community - aimed at children under 10.  The dancers whirled and twirled to the familiar music of Frozen.  There was limited attendance, social distanced and everyone wore masks.  The air purifiers were humming and the windows were cracked to help keep everyone safe.  The dancers wore 2 masks! The studio even zoomed for anyone who was unable to attend.   Was it worth the effort?  You bet!  

During the last two years, so many of us have become depressed and lost hope.  It has felt like we would never again be truly happy and at ease.  Even going to the grocery store causes anxiety, and it's not just the prices that make us feel queasy. We have become fearful and nervous around others - even sometimes our families.   Not only do we not want to get sick ourselves, but we certainly don't want to get others sick. So many have "taken sides" against each other.  Logic and common sense seem to have fallen by the wayside.   Yes, these are tough times.  But just take a look at those sweet, young faces.  They probably have many of the same feelings that you and I do.  In fact, I think it is much harder for the children and youth to process growing up in a world wide pandemic.  But I see HOPE and JOY and LIFE when I look at these photos.  There is determination and perseverance and hours of hard work.  And behind every one of these dancers are their families.  The moms and dads (and sometimes grandmas) that drive them to and from dance classes, over and over.  Who most likely make monetary sacrifices to pay for these classes.  Is it worth it?  You bet.  I don't think these dancers were giving Covid a second thought as they performed the day I watched the production.  They were listening to the giggles and claps of the children in attendance.  They were feeling the joy of the accomplishment of a job well done.  They were part of something bigger than themselves.  A common goal.  

I wish that all of you could watch this performance.  More than that, I hope that all of you take away a bit of the lesson I learned that day.  We can not stop living.  We have to find a goal to shoot for.  Make plans for the months ahead.  We need to figure out how we might bring a spot of joy and hope and life to those around us.  Even knowing that it takes hard work and perseverance.  A life lived for Jesus is a life that walks confidently - no matter what is happening around us.  We need to begin each day, covered in the armor of God so that the fear and isolation and anger about the pandemic don't overwhelm our hearts. Over the past week since this dance show, I have had more than one aggravation pop into my life.  It certainly helped to close my eyes and remember the freedom and joy I saw on the faces of the dancers that day.  And then I began to sing... "Let it go!"

Jesus, thank you for using ordinary things in my life to remind me of your plans and purposes that don't stop for Covid.  Holy Spirit, keep this message fresh and close in my mind and heart as I walk through the next days.  Jesus, keep us mindful of your presence as we face conflicts and disagreements, no matter what the topic.  Guide us to the people and places that you have purposed for us. Thank you for loving us all.  Amen
 

Weekend away with the kids.....

We spent the last couple of days with all the kids (and grandkids also) at one of our favorite places - Timber Ridge Lodge.  This fun time is for me one of the best times of the year.... we get so much fun crammed into just a couple of days.  This place is a business gold mine, since they have really thought out family get-aways.   The rooms are all 1 or 2 bedroom suite rooms that also have a pull out couch.  There is a large dining table and an (almost) full size kitchen.  We discovered that they don't have an oven - only a stove top.  So no frozen pizza  for the kids.  But they do have a microwave also.  The highlight is the indoor water park that is really perfect for kids preteen and younger.  The toddler area is perfect for really young ones and there is also a lazy river.  Ken especially liked the "adults only" hot tub!  There is also an indoor/outdoor hot tub that kids are allowed to use.

I snapped this picture of Lia, Ellie, Anna and I and you can tell by our squints that the sun was very bright!  You can also see the snow in the background!  It is interesting to be outside yet still warm in the water, even when it is snowing!  

We got to spend lots of time together, eating, playing games and laughing! I confess that I participated in a game with the kids that had something to do with sushi (?) but I sure didn't understand the rules or even how the game was played. I just kept saving any random cards and discarding whatever was left.  The kids had a great time and I think Tim won.  It was still a fun filled time - even if Grandma was very confused.  I love this photo of the five kids together, watching a quick video before heading off to bed.

After the kids were in bed, the adults spent time playing a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit.  The guys managed to eek out a win, even though the girls were close behind. I was happy to actually answer one question correctly.

Hours pass quickly during water park fun, with hardly a break to grab something to eat or drink.  Lia took Anna on the tube slide over and over again.  As fast as they came zooming down, they were headed back up the stairs for another run.  

  

What a wonderful time we all had!  We were especially thankful that Ken was feeling great and able to enjoy the time.  Just a few weeks ago, it seemed unlikely that this event would even happen.  It is really a miracle that we were blessed to have this chance to be together. 

By the end of the day, we all felt a bit like Grace, who fell asleep on Susie's lap.  She insisted she  wanted to go back into the water, but could hardly keep her eyes open.  In spite of all the noise and commotion going on around her, she managed to catch a short nap.

This trip to the water park has become a yearly event for our family.  It is one of those "traditions" that the kids just beg to continue.  Just for fun, here is a picture from our first ever trip to Timber Ridge in 2011.  Lia was 4 and Ellie was a month shy of 2.  You can't quite see Grace's swim suit in the very first picture of this blog (because of her floaty) - but she is wearing the same suit that Ellie has on in this photo!  Gotta love those hand me down clothes!  Not only the clothes get recycled, so do the events!

Bonus picture of Grace with her suit more visible! Almost exactly the same age as Ellie was above!

I am just so thankful today, sitting here looking back on this years trip, but also thinking of all of the years of fun we have had.  I am thankful for digital photos and ways to easily find pictures when you want to.  I am so thankful for the medicine and doctors to help us stay healthy and active, so that we can enjoy our grandchildren.  

We have had our share of worries and concerns in 2019.   This weekend has reminded me that spending time doing what you love is the most important thing.  Being with the people that matter to you, sharing love - yep that is the best.  Just writing this blog as brought me so much joy.  Joy and love can sure cancel out worry and concern.  This trip was just what Ken and I needed.  We are going into March feeling much less worried and far less concerned and much more joyful and so, so loved!  I'd say that was a really good couple of days!

Jesus, thank you so much for times of fun and laughter.  Holy Spirit, help us remember when we are worried and concerned that you are always with us.  Give us grace and courage to let our families know when we need more hugs and more time together.  Keep us watchful of others so that we can share your love and bring joy to others.  Amen 

When an umbrella brings joy in the storms.......

Sometimes you just need an umbrella to dance in the rain.  With rain threatening before Anna's first dance class last week, she was very upset that she did not have an umbrella.  Unfortunately, her Dora umbrella (that she had "inherited") had gotten broken.   Anna was so concerned that her ballet outfit would get wet walking into ballet.  I found an umbrella in my car that we were able to use for the storms which did happen to arrive during ballet.  But I promised Anna a trip to a store to buy her a new umbrella.  Of course Zeke and Ellie both needed new umbrellas as well.  I had to laugh at the clerk as we were checking out at Walmart the next day.  The kids were very excited telling her about their week with Grandma Lyn.  She looked at the items we were purchasing and nodded her head saying "Yep, I can tell that this is a Grandma shopping trip!"  I have to confess that I am kind of a sucker for these kids.  Our purchases included this Frozen umbrella for Anna, a Spiderman umbrella for Zeke, a pink push button umbrella for Ellie, candy, cookies and donuts, as well as the chocolate syrup (that was the real reason for our visit to the store)!

But look at those wonderful smiles on Zeke and Anna with there umbrellas (or "brellas" as Anna calls them!)  They had so much fun going outside to play in the light rain that was happening that day.  If a silly little umbrella makes the rain less scary and brings joy to them, then it is so worth it.

One of the days the present from mommy and daddy were some card games.  We had hours of fun playing "Old Maid" and I was the old maid more often than not.  Even Anna joined in the fun.  It is really amazing how much these kids play together and how well they play together.  I think that it is another win for homeschooling.   The week went by really fast.  I took so many pictures of all the fun things that we did and most days, I dropped into bed at the same time as the kids.  It was busy!

Ballet night was really something,  Anna's first ever class was from four to five and then there is an hour before Lia has her three classes.  Anna did wonderfully.  There were 20 three year olds in her class!  Yes 20!

The amazing teacher is so good with these kids.  I don't know how she does it.  There were many of the kids who wandered around during the class and several who never followed the instructions.  I was very proud of Anna for paying attention and so happy that she fun.  Although hesitant at first, she was smiling by the end!  We had hoped to be able to walk through the farmers market which is right by ballet, but there were storms.  So we opted to go to a restaurant for some dinner.  We dropped Lia off for her classes and drove home in a big storm.  I was thankful that a family friend was bringing Lia home at 9:30pm so I didn't have to go back out to get her.   

When Lia got home, she was pretty upset.  Somewhere in the day she had misplaced her phone.  We talked about taking all of our cares and concerns to Jesus and praying about the location of her phone.  She asked me to have my small group pray that it would be found.  Gwen texted the ballet studio to have them look for the phone and I assured Lia that we would follow up the next day.  When we heard that the phone was not at ballet, Lia was sure that it had been stolen and was gone forever.  We made another trip to the ballet studio to look for ourselves and then to the diner we had visited.  As soon as we walked in the door of the diner, Ellie spotted the phone laying by the cash register.  Needless to say, we were a very happy and thankful group!

I was so thankful for the umbrella covering of prayer that we had during the "storm" of that misplaced phone.  Lia was remarkably calm the entire day.  We talked about the possible locations to look for the phone.  And we prayed!!  She never gave up hope that we would find that phone.  

It was a great lesson for her - and me - to remember that the umbrella of prayer does work.  I was so thankful that Jesus cares about even these kinds of things and helps us in every storm that we face.  While this might seem like a small thing to some, for Lia this was a really big deal.  There were many grateful prayers said that night at bedtime.

Being with these kids for a week was physically taxing for me. I walked and ran and played more than I usually do.  I certainly did more dishes and more laundry than I have for a very long time.  I played more games and read countless books.  I also had books read to me!  There were songs sung and hugs and kisses given.  I applied more sunscreen in one week than I think I have in the last year!

  My time with the kids is my mission trip.  While it is a service for Gwen and Tim and allows them to go and serve, I am truly the one who benefits.  I came away filled up with all the love I received from Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna.  My heart is filled with joy. I can't wait till the next time.

Jesus, thank you for pouring out your love on even the littlest children.  Holy Spirit, remind us all to stay childlike in our faith.  Thank you Jesus for answered prayers and all those who help us hold up umbrellas of prayer during the storms of life.  Amen  

Winding up our Christmas celebration with a slightly delayed Epiphany celebration!

Today was a special day for my family!  We actually had the continuation of our Christmas celebration.  The end of the day is pictured above!  Ken bought me an amazing new diamond ring for Christmas that just arrived today!  We have talked about a new ring on various anniversaries, but Ken decided that this was the right time.  After 43 years, it feels really different to see so much bling on my finger.  Rest assured I will get used to it.  I love that there are two diamonds that represent Ken and I and they are wrapped in a rose gold band.  This picture does not do the ring justice.  It is simply beautiful.  

We began the day at Build a Bear where Doug and Susie gifted Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna their very own "Lucas Bear" for Christmas.  It was a wonderful experience to watch the kids each pick their own bear, place a heart inside and then stuff their bear.  Susie and Doug were generous and allowed the kids to each pick an outfit for their bears.

While the girls made the choice to get girl clothes for their bears, they are still Lucas bears and will be a soft, squishy reminder of baby Lucas, who is never far from our thoughts.  Zeke gets the prize for selecting a Blackhawks hoodie along with ice skates for his Lucas bear.  

After the bears were stuffed and fluffed (yes, they have a station that lets the kids fluff and comb their bears!) and clothed, they got their birth certificates.  All the kids named their bears Lucas bear.  Even Anna wanted to do this, with a lot of help from daddy!  

After leaving Build a Bear, all of the kids got a ride on the carousel in the middle of the mall.  Then all 10 of us actually made a stop at one of the mall stores that had an unbelievable sale.  Think 75% off!  By the time we were done with that stop, we were all ready for some lunch.  We had a great lunch at a family favorite, Portillos!  What a wonderful time of just talking, laughing and eating.  It was such a great way to start the new year.  When we all went our separate ways, Ken and I picked up my delayed Christmas gift.  

We were a bit beyond Epiphany, but I was still thinking about how great it is to end our Holiday celebration with the thought of Epiphany in mind.  It was particularly fitting that it ended with some gold!  Our laughter and the many hugs and smiles were certainly a praise offering from our family in celebration of the birth of Jesus. I recently blogged that there was joy returning to our family.  Today was a day filled with much joy.  Even in missing Lucas, in remembering him with soft bears to cuddle, we have love and hope and family.  I can't think of a better way to complete Christmas.

I am so thankful for Jesus and the peace and hope that has been given to our family since Lucas died. There are so many families that have lost children and sadly, some do not have that peace and hope because they don't have Jesus.  I am more convinced than ever that sharing Jesus is the most important thing that can happen in 2016.  

As we were driving home, snow was softly falling.  This has been a warm, rainy winter so far.  So the snow was just one more tie to Christmas.  Who doesn't appreciate a tiny bit of snow on Christmas?  Yes, today ended warm and cozy, with a sparkly new ring and wonderful memories of a great day.

Jesus, I am so, so thankful for you!  For your amazing gift of eternal life and that wonderful peace and joy.  Holy Spirit, give us courage and wisdom each day to know when to share about Jesus.  Jesus, thank you for walking with my family, with me, and bringing joy back to us.  Amen

Coming full circle..... back to Joy!

I've blogged many times about this last year.  It's been very different than any other year of my life.  It was unexpected and truly a challenging time.  It all began here....From Joy to Sorrow to Hope.  This was my blog post on November 16, 2014.  This was my first post after the death of my grandson Lucas.  I never expected to put those words on a page.  But it has been one of the most read posts that I have blogged.  Somehow people around the world are still finding that post and reading it.  Just this week a reader in Russia sent me a message that this post had touched her deeply.  I know that the Holy Spirit is using my ramblings to spread the hope of Jesus to hurting people.

Last Christmas was a bit of a blur for our family.  But for me, I was just clinging to HOPE.  Hope has been that ever present thing that has helped me to keep walking on.  As our family started planning this Christmas, there was still that strong feeling of hope.  But more than that, there was joy beginning to break through.  At my small group Christmas gathering yesterday, one of my dear friends brought gift bags for each of us.  Inside was a sweet treat, as well as an ornament.  Each was different, and it was not just chance that brought this ornament into my hands. It was Jesus.

Last year a different friend from that small group had given me this ornament and it was so perfect for last Christmas.  It was hung on my tree with many tears.  When I saw it this year, it was like a wonderful beacon....a reminder of that angel of hope that has been with me for the last year.  

When I saw that Dove....with the words "Joy to the World", I knew that the joy I have been sensing and feeling is very real.    Here are the words to that wonderful Christmas Hymn....

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive her King;

Let every heart prepare Him room,

And heaven and nature sing,

And heaven and nature sing,

And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns!

Let men their songs employ;

While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains

Repeat the sounding joy,

Repeat the sounding joy,

Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,

Nor thorns infest the ground;

He comes to make His blessings flow

Far as the curse is found,

Far as the curse is found,

Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,

And makes the nations prove

The glories of His righteousness,

And wonders of His love,

And wonders of His love,

And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Not only has Jesus, the Savior, come, but He reigns!  No more will sorrows grow.  Jesus will make His blessings flow.  He is truth and grace and His love is wonderful.  Yes, this is just a reminder of who Jesus is and all that he does for us.  It has been quite the ride, this past year.  I did a lot of clinging to the Word (reading Scripture) and was so thankful to be surrounded by supportive friends who helped me hang on to hope.  So now it is wonderful to be singing JOY TO THE WORLD THE LORD HAS COME!  No matter how dark or deep the sorrow, there is hope in Jesus.  And that hope will reveal the joy that all the world repeats......The Lord is come!  

Jesus, thank you for wonderful friends that deliver words of great encouragement.  What a wonderful reminder of who you are, in the words of a song.  Thank you for your truth and grace that reveal your love.  Jesus, most of all, thank you for being with me during this last year.  Bless all who take the time to read these words.  Help them to know the wonders of your great love.  Amen

Double Blessing Day!

Today is a special day for our family.  Today is Doug's birthday and it is also Ellie's birthday!  The top picture is Gwen and I with sweet Ellie in 2009.  Yes, she is 6 years old today!  And the bottom picture is Gwen and Doug in 1982 on the day that we brought Doug home from the hospital.  He is 33 today. This was long before siblings were allowed to actually touch the baby in the hospital.  Gwen was so excited to hold her brother.

We just never imagined that we would have shared birthdays.  As a matter of fact our family had a get together the weekend before Doug's birthday in 2009 and Doug actually told Gwen not to have the baby on his birthday.  We all laughed about this since his birthday was 4 weeks before her due date.  She assured him that she would not hit his birthday.  But, low and behold, Ellie decided to make her appearance on March 6 at 4:30am.  So, indeed, this is a double special day for us.

Today I spent some time running a bunch of small errands.  I think I made 6 stops in a bit over an hour.  I made a couple of returns, bought a couple of gifts, stopped at couple of stores but didn't find what I was looking for, and went grocery shopping.  I noticed that I felt an extra bounce in my step and had a smile on my face.  Nothing like a couple of birthdays to lift your spirits!  Tomorrow Ken and I are taking Doug and Susie out to dinner to celebrate his special day.  And on Sunday, Ellie is having a "Hello Kitty" birthday party.  It will be quite a weekend.

I kind of did a double take when I typed the title of this blog post.  Double Blessing.  I have been holding on to the word that 2015 is a Double Blessing year.  Today, it is especially easy to hold on to that hope.  Yesterday Doug stopped by after work to help Ken bring a very large and very heavy cabinet up to his new photo studio room.  (My back thanks Doug very much!)  It was so good to chat with Doug.  I am so thankful for him and the amazing man that he is.  On Tuesday, Ellie was talking about her upcoming birthday party.  I loved the big smile on her face when I told her I would be there!  I am so thankful for her caring and loving heart.  I can't wait to see what amazing, creative, artistic things she accomplishes in her life!   Yes, a day like today is evidence of the double blessings promised for this year.  I loved this post on Elijah list in January from Curt Landry - just click on the this link - The Double Portion in 2015.  This is just one of the many, many words about this year.  It is a time of great expectation of what Jesus is doing in us and through us this year.

It was really, really cold again today as I was out doing those errands.  The wind was blowing and the temperature was in the low teens.  So the windchill was well below zero.  I really didn't notice the cold until I had a cart full of food to load (and unload) from my trunk.  By the time I had gotten everything into the house I noticed that I had lost that spring from my step and didn't feel a bit like smiling.  But then I remembered this day and the double blessing.  I was able to shake off that bit of a funk from the cold weather and felt that joy returning to my spirit.  When I happened to glance out the window, the sun was shining on the snow and ice and there was a hint of a rainbow in the reflection on the snow.  It was so beautiful!  I suddenly had a flash of that really large HOPE banner sailing over me and then all was right with my world.

This has been a good start to the weekend for me.  And all of this double blessing and all of the joy and every bit of that hope is right there for you also!  No matter how cold or dark or sad your day might be, Jesus is there to turn things around for you.  There is DOUBLE to go around!

Jesus, thank you so much for Doug and for Ellie on their special day.  Thank you for knowing exactly what I would need as I looked out of the window today.  Holy Spirit would you share some of this hope with everyone who reads this blog?  Let them see and know that banner of hope is flying over them!  Thank you for joy that takes you by surprise.   Amen

Message from the past....

Yesterday Ken and I discovered this.  At first glance you might wonder, "What in the heck is that?"
Well, this was the shelf in the closet in one of our bedrooms.  Our house is on "lot 13" in our subdivision.  And while I see the word "JOY" pretty clearly, I actually think it says J O 4.  Most likely a code for the placement of that shelf.  I remember that some people told us that we should not choose this particular house because it was LOT 13 and might be bad luck.  Since I didn't believe in luck, this really made no difference to me. And I know that even if that word didn't start off as "joy", the message is clear.  There has been great joy in this house!

That bedroom and that shelf have seen lots of changes in 37 years.  It started out as our guest room.  My mom and dad spent many nights in that room and we also had friends visit from out of state and stay in that room.  Gwen moved into that room as her first "big girl" bedroom.

 It was her room for many years until she went to college.  Then it became Doug's room. That shelf showed a bit of Doug's creativity as it was notched to allow for cables to run into the attic.  Doug stayed in that room until his early 20's when he moved out to live with friends.  For several years that room was a sort of "guest room".  We didn't really have it set up as such, but it often held an inflatable bed or two when it was needed.  Now it is becoming Ken's photo studio.  Another transformation is taking place.  And in all of the changes there has been JOY.

It seems funny to be talking about joy after months of sorrow.  I am grateful for the reminders of all of the joy that Jesus has sown into our home and our family.  This is one of those times that I have felt that "wake up call".  It is so easy to get bogged down in the very real sadness and forget about the wonderful blessings that are in our family.  I would like to say that I feel that joy, but it might be a bit soon. I can hope for joy.  But I am reminding myself that there is JOY and I am also speaking joy into my spirit.  And sometimes that is enough.

Isn't it interesting that we CAN speak into our spirits and remind ourselves of the truth?  I love that David had to do this in the Psalms.  He reminded himself to "Bless the Lord, o my soul".  So I feel quite okay with saying "Remember the joy, o my spirit"!  And there is power in the things that we speak into ourselves.  Power in the words that we say, even silently, about who we are and what the truth is in our situations.  A few years ago a friend of mine made up a list of all the positive characteristics of Jesus that she possessed.  Each day she would speak those things out loud as she looked in a mirror.  Things like "I am a child of the King".  "My Father in heaven loves me".  "Jesus will never leave me."  "I have the mind of Christ".  I think that I will begin a list right now!

Jesus, thank you for using everything to speak into us....even an old shelf from a closet.  Holy Spirit, remind us all to speak words of truth into our own spirits.  Help us to hold on to these truths even in the midst of dark and sad times. Give us wisdom to know exactly what we need to be speaking to ourselves.  Help us craft exactly the correct list that we each need to help us hold on to truth.  Jesus, thank you for the years of joy you have given to our family.  Amen

Funny what triggers a memory!

I have had quite an interesting couple of days.  First of all, it has been less than desirable weather.  And that is more than an understatement!  We have had snow, wind, more snow, and sub-zero temperatures with serious wind chills.  I drove up to Gwen's house in really nasty driving.  It was the kind of drive where the roads are snow covered and you can't see any lane markings.  It was also very icy under that layer of snow.  When you approached intersections you never knew if you were going to stop...,...or slide right through.  The good thing about this trip is that it takes place at 5:30am!  Which  means that the roads are mostly empty.  I made it to Gwen's about a half hour later than normal and Gwen had a LONG commute to work!  But I had another wonderful day with the kids.  After getting the older girls on the bus, Zeke announced that it was a "pajama day".  He did not want to get dressed!  I had to agree with Zeke, it was a good day to just stay in your jammies and huddle under a blanket.  Zeke is quite a kid.  He plays for hours by himself.  On this day, this was his "toy" of choice......

A boy and his balloon!  Who needs toys of any kind when you have a five cent (or less) balloon.  For a while Zeke and I played a bit of "balloon volleyball" and Zeke's rules included that the balloon could not touch the floor!  But for most of the time, Zeke was just happy to be batting that balloon around.  There is something so wonderful about seeing the simple joy of a little boy having fun.  You just have to smile!  And along with this entertainment, I had this cute face to look at....

It is wonderful to see Anna really becoming her own sweet little person.  She has several words now and gives amazing "loves" where she leans into your neck and even pats your back with her hand.  She knows the motions to "The Wheels On The Bus" and loves making her wipers "SWISH". (If you don't know this cute little kids song, it's worth watching on youtube)  There is just so much joy in being with these kids.  It is so good for my spirit.  

In spite of the cold today (and I mean COLD as in close all the schools and libraries and put out warnings about the dangers of being out in the cold), my small prayer group decided to meet.  And because I was already out, I went to spend a couple hours with Susie.  I have been so thankful for the free time that I have had.  Being off of work has been such a "BLESSING" (and yes I know that I have used that phrase, once again.  But just as I said in my last blog, this has been a comfort to me in my mourning).  I know that IF I had been working, it would have been very difficult, if not impossible in the last months.  I love that I have been able to be a support for Doug and Susie. I have had freedom to be with them, which has been good for me also!  Today when I was watching Sammy and Kylie enjoying their new dog beds, I had a sudden flash of this picture...of my childhood dog.

For Trixie's entire life (which was my life from age 3 until age 20), she slept in this metal dog bed.  She did not have a "memory foam mattress" but did have a nice thick, old rug and several blankets.  At "the lake" she had a cardboard box under one of the couches.  You can see that her face is very grey in this picture.  This picture was taken sometime in the last 5 years of her life.  Yes, it is interesting when a simple thing, brings back a long ago memory.  I am so grateful for Sammy, Kylie and Chandler.  I can get my "doggie fix" without actually HAVING a dog in my house!  Today, it was Sammy and Kylie that brought me joy along with this memory!

Joy seems to be the current word that is bouncing around in my spirit.  Just like that balloon, I have little bubbles of joy seemingly bursting out of no where.  It doesn't make much sense.  And I seem to be taken by surprise when it happens.  There are many verses that talk about Jesus bringing joy.  At times it feels so "out of place" that I have a hard time embracing that joy.  But joy seems to be the perfect partner for the hope that Jesus has been bringing into me since Lucas died.  Because I have been really accepting and embracing hope, that joy is right there.  Isn't it wonderful that the Holy Spirit knew that without that hope, the joy would be lost.  I am so thankful for the gift of hope that has already been living in my spirit.  And here is the really amazing thing, tonight as I am writing this blog, I realize that I am filled with even more hope than I had yesterday!  That joy came with even more hope!  What a wonderful and caring God we have!  

Jesus, thank you.  I am so grateful for your love and care and the way that you meet my needs in such real concrete ways.  Thank you for bringing me joy in the midst of grief.  And Holy Spirit, thank you for knowing that I needed hope to receive joy.  Continue to breathe hope into Doug and Susie and all of my family.  Jesus, there are many who are in the midst of grief.  Bless them with hope and fill them with bubbles of joy.  Amen  

An unexpected break in the clouds

This morning when I left the house, I looked up and saw these amazing clouds.  It sure doesn't look like a typical "December" sky in Chicago.  Not that I am complaining.......   Even though it is more or less normal temperatures, we have not really had any snow to speak of.  And there have been many really warm days.  Today, I enjoyed the clear blue sky and the sun shining.  I think we all needed to see the sun shine.

Yesterday was NOT like today.  It was rainy and cloudy and cold.  Yes, a grey and sunless day.  Gwen texted that Zeke was very much under the weather.  He had been sick all night and was not doing well.  Unfortunately, Gwen and Tim had plans to attend a wedding and were planning on leaving the kids with a babysitter.  But with one kid down and the possibility of more to follow, this was out of the question.  So I volunteered to be "grandma to the rescue" and watch the kids so that they could attend this wedding.  It was a good day.  Zeke was more or less back to his normal self.  And no one else seemed to have caught that nasty stomach stuff.

Anna played happily with these "new to her" toys that first belonged to Lia!  Lia and Ellie spent several hours making "tutus" (which is just their name for skirts/dresses) out of bubble wrap and copier paper held together with tape.  I did take pictures of these creations, but decided it was not a great idea to put those pictures on this blog!  (Someday they will thank me for that!)  There was then a "fashion/talent show" that was very entertaining.  Zeke played with his trains from Christmas.  He got two large bins of GeoTracks with remote control trains.  After dinner, all four kids took a bath and got ready for bed.  Anna was asleep before I turned around.  After some interesting conversations with Zeke, bedtime prayers, and tucking in, he fell asleep immediately.  I don't think he even moved! By this time, Ellie was all set and ready for her bedtime story.  This was the book she presented to me..... and I am not kidding you!

I did not set this up.... It was on her bookcase in her room and she selected it!  And yes, it says (in Gwen's very early handwriting "Gwen Rowley and Doug".  This is MY book!).  I also read from Ellie's new princess storybook. Ellie played for a bit, but she also was asleep soon.  Lia was patiently waiting.  She wanted me to paint her nails.  So she has some not very well done rainbows painted on her nails.  Gwen is much better at this than I am.  I had some wonderful conversations and prayer with Lia that was a nice end to this day.  This was an unexpected way to spend the day...and it was very enjoyable.  Yes, the time yesterday was a lot like that blue sky this morning.  It was a break in the clouds of grey rain that brought some warmth into my spirit. 

I was thinking about the day yesterday and also today.   I remembered how much I don't like gray raining days and how much I love blue sky and sun.  I learned that shipping supplies and office supplies can be wonderful (and creative) imaginative play things.  I watched a small child be so excited when a door opened and something popped out....what fun it is to discover new things.  I saw determination and joy when a train traveled on a track constructed with three year old hands.  I was filled with love and warmth by hugs and kisses from sweet little ones, fresh out of the bathtub.  Is there anything better than those warm, wet hugs?  Nothing is as sweet as the prayers of children.  The icing on the cake was holding that special book in my hands, once again. 

The year is winding down.  I can tell you that I am not sorry to see 2014 end.  This has been a very hard couple of months.  But during these days of sorrow and grief, I have been receiving many, many words of encouragement and hope for 2015.  I have been collecting these and have been pondering them.  So many seem to have been sent specifically for me and my family.  If there has ever been a time that I felt so in need of these words, it is now.  Over the coming days I will be sharing some of what has been working into my spirit through these words.  As is always the case, I know that these words are not just for me and I am praying that many will be blessed through them.  So watch for future blogs!

Jesus, thank you for providing much needed breaks of joy and warmth in the times of cold sadness.  Holy Spirit, thank you for words of encouragement and hope that you send to us in so many different ways.  Give me strength and wisdom to sort through these messages and courage to share.  Thank you for the joy and delight of playing children.  Help us all to be like little children.  Amen

First part of my time away.........and there is JOY!

 So, as I mentioned, I am away scrapbooking with the gals!  I can not tell you how much being with these ladies fills my soul and just plain makes me feel good.  We are at a new location, and so far, it is really nice! 

While you might think this is the treat aisle at Walgreens, this is just the food to share section of our room. Yeah, this is not great for someone doing Weight Watchers!  Anyway, I have actually accomplished about 10 pages, so all in all, not bad!  When I went to get in the shower this morning, I realized that my shower gel bottle is almost empty.  And so was my shampoo.  I guess I should have looked at my travel kit before I left home!  Then this morning, as I was getting dressed, I looked in my suitcase and discovered that somehow I had forgotten to pack a shirt for tomorrow!  This is certainly not a great start to living out of a suitcase for the next two weeks! Fortunately, I am going to be at home tomorrow before we leave on our vacation.  So I will be able to not only change my shirt, refill my travel shampoo and soap,  but also take a quick check of my BIG suitcase to make sure that I have what I need.  This is really nothing to stress over since as we all know, there is a Walmart in every town and a Walgreens on every corner! But I would much rather be prepared. 

Last night (very late) as I was laying in bed, I was thinking about joy.  What makes me the happiest.  It really isn't about things at all.  It is always about people.  It doesn't matter what I am doing, it is always about WHO I am with.  I guess that says something about me.  I find the greatest joy being with family and friends or surrounded by others who love Jesus.  It doesn't take much to make us all laugh.  And laughter is good for your soul.  I love Psalm 126:2

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.  This it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them."

I think this is true.  When others around us see us laughing and having so much joy, it causes them to stop and think, "Wow, I wonder what they are so happy about?"  It may just not be so true that they realize that it is God that has helped us to be joyful.  This is a good reminder for me (and all of us) to be quick to give God the glory when we are happy and having fun.  For me, it is much easier to talk about how Jesus has helped us when things are really bad.  Somehow it is a bit harder to remember to give HIM the credit for all the laughter and joy.  I think I will be doing more of that in the future!

Thank you Jesus for the joy and laughter that we experienced in this scrapbook.  Thank you for filling our mouths with laughter and our hearts with joy.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the reminder to be ready to point people to Jesus, even when things are going great and we have lots of joy and fun.  Thank you for your Word that speaks to us in our everyday life.  Amen

A color filled day........

Tonight Ken and I went to an amazing light show at the Morton Arboretum near our home.  Even though I have the end of this nasty cold and my nose is running and I'm coughing, we decided that 37 degrees was the best we were going to have (our predicted high for the next couple of days is single digits!)  So after I completed work today, we left for the show.  The sun was still setting when we got there, but unlike our first attempt at this event, we were directed to the main parking lot.  There were lots of people and cars, but we found a parking spot fairly quickly and only waited in line a few minutes to get our tickets.  There is a mile long walking path with various light displays around every turn.  It's amazing how different the place looks with spot lights and flashing lights of every color.  While it was chilly, it wasn't unbearable.  There were fires burning (which smelled just wonderful) and little concession stands around every turn.  We treated ourselves to a wonderful cup of hot cocoa, which certainly made the last half of the walk more enjoyable.  It was a really neat capper to our holiday celebrations.  Ken mentioned that he would like to put in a suggestion that they have an "adults only" night for members.  I told him it sounded like a good idea! 

Today at work, I was painting with the kids again.  This time we are making snow flakes and mittens to display on the front windows of the center.  Jackie got a great idea off of Pintrest that actually worked quite well.  We made masking tape snowflakes on white paper and had the kids paint the entire paper any color that they wanted.  Then when it drys you peel off the tape and you have a really cool looking white snowflake on a colored background!  So now there will be giant mittens catching snow flakes on the windows. 

I was just thinking how these two things are similar.  Both involve using amazing colors in unexpected ways.  You don't expect to see trees with such vivid colors and you also don't expect to see a snowflake emerge from a painted piece of paper. Both require creativity and thinking outside of the box.    I love that the snowflakes were hidden from view as the paintings were drying.  I loved that kids were so excited to see the finished snowflake.  I love that the trees looked like sculptures and not trees when painted with lights.  Yep, I had a colorful day today.

I am so glad that even when our lives look dark and bleak, much like those woods at the Arboretum actually are, the light of Jesus can change everything.  When Jesus shines his light in us and through us, we become those amazing dancing lights filling the world.  And I am also glad that when we try to just "put on a happy face" when things are not going well (just like those pictures were painted over with bright colors), Jesus knows whats underneath that fake smile. His love and care and compassion can turn our attempt to hide our problems into a beautiful picture when he strips away our false emotion.  Then His joy and love can change that fake smile into a genuine grin.

Jesus, thank you for reminding me that your light changes everything!  Thank you for your love and joy and peace that turns our feeble attempt at false happiness into genuine joy.  Holy Spirit, I love that you show me so much in paintings by 3 year olds and in glorious light shows.  Amen

 

Christmas a bit early....

So today we celebrated Christmas with our family.  What a wonderful, joyous time we had.  We were all together by around 10:00am and spent the day just being together!  Of course part of the time was spent opening gifts. 

I can't say enough how thankful I am for my family.  Every time we are together my heart just swells with joy and love and gratitude.   And today was no different.   I got to play several rounds of UNO with Lia, got lots of hugs and kisses from Zeke, had some great talks with Ellie (who is now writing her name all by herself!) and lots of great conversations with Doug, Tim, Susie and Gwen.  I also got lots of doggie kisses from Sammy, Kylie and Chandler.  After the present opening, the kids were quite happy to play with their new toys, Grandpa took a nap on the couch in the living room, and the big kids and I played a couple of really neat games (both on the WII and a fun board game).  We had a great dinner (thanks Tim!) and then even managed to get a really good family picture.  A full day.

 

I am always so amazed at the thoughtful gifts that the kids find for Ken and I.  I especially love the gifts that the kids make for us.  Today we received a photo ornament of the three kids (which I am sure will be on my favorites list next year), and these.............

These are the coolest thing.  They are paintings done by the kids on a canvas - but get this - they have a sticky but repositionable back.  So they can be stuck and moved where ever and when ever you want!  Isn't that so neat!  I love the colors.  I love the joy and wonder in these.  I simply love then.  The minute we got home, they went up on the wall.  And right now they are inside the front door where I will see them each time I come in the door.  I didn't have time to ask Ellie (who did the top art work) or Lia (who did the bottom picture) exactly what they were painting.  Every time I look at them, I see something different.  And they make me smile! Isn't that what Christmas is all about? 

 

Another great thing today was listening to the kids talk about Christmas memories from their childhood.  The one that sticks out in my mind right now is the time I nearly burned down the house with the Advent Candles on Christmas Morning.  I was busy cooking breakfast and suddenly there were flames from the top of the TV cabinet.  The candle wax had started the wreath on fire and melted the top of the cabinet!  Doug recalled Ken running for the fire extinquisher and putting out the fire.  I guess for a grade school age boy, this was a pretty great Christmas morning!  I will never live that one down.

 

The weather even cooperated and the "winter weather advisory" and the ice and snow predicted didn't happen. Ken and I drove home in 34 degree weather with rain. So much better than ice and snow that we had feared. So, now LET IT SNOW! Ken and I are at home with no where to go!

 

Yes, it was a wonderful day! 

 

Jesus, thank you for this full day of blessings.  Thank you for Ken, Gwen, Tim, Doug, Susie, Lia, Ellie, Zeke (and Anna)!  What a joy it is to gather together and celebrate Your Birthday.  Holy Spirit, spread your love and joy and wonder to all during this next week and let us celebrate with the excitement of children.   Amen

 

PS -  I blogged in November about getting those stacking cups for Lia.  Well, they were a great success.  I can't tell you how amazing it was to watch Lia do this stacking in many different patterns.  Ken and I were guessing that she spent over 1 hour playing with these cups today.  Who would have thought that 10 plastic cups could bring so much fun???? 



The end of a "sugary" day.... good food, good work, good friends!

This is going to be just a really quick post about my very long day........ It was the kid's Christmas Party today at my work.  So we had a room full of over excited, over stimulated, over junk-fooded, crazy kids!  Yes, it was a busy, busy day that sure had some "moments"!  Here is a shot of the "snacks" at the party!  Yep, cookies, donuts, chips, more cookies, cheese and crackers and yes fruit.

Most of the kids only ate a cookie or two and some of the fruit, but there were several that cleaned their plates!  It was most certainly a "sugar overload".  (And most of the kids hardly touched their lunch either).  But hey, Christmas only comes one time a year, right?

Okay, I have been working on "expecting the unexpected" and I sure had some more "unexpected" things happen today. 

1.  I started the morning by dropping a container of white finger paint onto a tile floor.  The lid popped off and I had GLOBS of thick white paint all over me!  Down my pants leg and covering the front of my fleece and the right sleeve.  And did I mention that I was wearing BLACK corduroy pants and a BLACK fleece?  And I was "dressed up" for the parents who would be attending the party that started at 9:30.  The unexpected part of this story is that with lots of water and paper towels, the white finger paint vanished from my clothes.  I mean totally gone!  Now THAT is really unexpected!

2.  I received so many wonderful cards and gifts from the children today..... I was totally overwhelmed.  I have only been working at this job since mid-October and was not expecting this at all.  I am not the "teacher" in the room, just the assistant.  This was an unexpected thing that makes me so thankful for this job!

3.  It is very hard not to get excited and happy about Christmas when you are surrounded by 15 or 16 little faces, all filled with joy and happiness over a simple little party.  Yes, I was not expecting to feel so HAPPY today.  It was a surprise.  A very pleasant surprise, I might add.

4.  Tonight I got to spend the evening with some very dear friends.  You know that feeling that you are so tired and you don't want to go anywhere or do anything?  Well, I had that feeling earlier tonight.  But I pressed through, went out to meet with my friends and I was so blessed!  The unexpected part of this is that, on the way home I had several very clear revelations and answers to prayers that I have been seeking for weeks.  This was an unexpected ending to this day.  (I am sure I'll be sharing more about this in the days ahead!)

Jesus, thank you for the "miracle" of finger paint that dissolves away with water.  Thank you for the kindness and generosity of the families I work with every day.  Thank you for joy, for wonderful sugary snacks, for Christmas time and for children.  Thank you for good friends, amazing prayers, and wonderful revelations.   Amen

Jubilation........ so much more than just Joy!

I woke up this morning with the word "Jubilation" in my mind.  I did not have a lot of time to think about this since I was going to spend some time with my grandchildren.  I left the house early and during the hour long drive, I got to thinking about that word.  Jubilation.  I just kept hearing it over and over.  I wondered about the meaning of the word, but more than that, I was wondering about what Yahweh was saying to me. 

So, the first thing I did was look up the word (thanks online Websters dictionary)...... Jubilation means - Elation, Delight and Triumph.  Okay -  all good, but what was I missing?  I couldn't figure out exactly what was going on.  I had a wonderful day playing with Lia, Ellie and Zeke.  We played outside.  We laughed and there were lots of hugs and kisses.  I am so blessed by these sweet children.  

I didn't think about this Jubilation word much, until my drive home.  I was turning the meaning over and over in my head..... elation, delight, triumph..... and then I realized that this goes so far beyond just JOY!  Jubilation is a step higher.  And then, just as I was starting to think I was understanding this, so clearly it came into my spirit......JUBILATION OF YAHWEH!   JOY!  There it is.  Joy is the elation, the delight, the triumph of Yahweh.  That is what true joy is! 

Doesn't it change this bible verse to think about JOY in this way....."Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the JOY ( Jubilation - elation, delight and triumph of Yahweh) set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."   Hebrews 12:2

It was for the triumph of Yahweh that Jesus went to the cross for us.  It was for the delight of Yahweh that Jesus went to the cross.  Yahweh was delighted that his eternal plan and destiny was being done. I have such a deeper understanding of  this Biblical joy, just from this one word.  Jubilation. 

So I will have a totally different and much deeper revelation of the word JOY.  It helps so much in seeing the difference between HAPPY and JOY.  When I think back over the times when I have felt joy, I can see that difference clearly.   There is a real and deep purpose in joy.  Joy seems to show up when there is more going on than just feelings and emotions.  In that Hebrews verse, Jesus had the feeling and emotions OF the Father.  That joy was the joy OF the father.  In those times of joy, I was experiencing the Jubilation of Yahweh. 

Oh Jesus, thank you for deeper revelation.  Thank you for continuing to speak to us today.  I just love that the word JOY means so much more to me tonight than it did this morning.  You are an amazing God that cares so much for us.  Yahweh, you are to be celebrated with Jubilation!  Help us to remember the deeper meaning behind joy and bring us all into the experience of true joy.  Amen

Modern miracles....

So after my last post about my maternal grandmother and mom, I have been thinking about my dad.  My dad died in 1985 when I was only 31 years old.  I have missed having him around during most of my adult life.  I can't tell you how often, when I am with Doug or thinking about Doug, I think, "boy my dad would have loved him so much" or "Doug and my dad would have had so much in common". (I think this often about my son-in-law Tim also.  Doug and Tim are a lot alike!).  And, unfortunately, Doug has no memories of my dad.  Dad died when Doug was just 3 years old.  And thinking about my dad has me thinking about his growing up years. 

Here is a picture of my dad's family taken in 1919.  My dad is the little boy standing between his parents.



 

I love looking at the clothes and imagining the lifestyle at that time.  I love the fact that I can look at the older kids, standing in the back, and SEE my aunts and uncles.  I was blessed to actually get to know them.  But what ALWAYS goes through my mind, is my grandmother.  Both my grandmother and grandfather came to America from Sweden as "indentured servants".  They were young teenagers at the time and they left everything and everyone that they knew to come to a strange country.  I just can't imagine that.  And then they worked hard, as servants, for other people - as farm hands and maids, childcare workers and cooks. They met in Minnesota while working on neighboring farms. My grandfather served out the remaining time on my grandmother's indentured contract so that they could get married. Eventually, my grandfather purchased his own farm and they raised their children.   As you can see by the picture, there is a large age spacing between my dad and his oldest brother (standing behind his father).  Actually 20 years.  What tugs at my heart about this picture, is who is MISSING from this picture.  This family includes two more boys.  In the summer of 1913, Algot, who was 18 at the time, fell out of a hay loft onto a pitchfork and died of gangrene infection.  Also, Gustov, who was 6 years old, died of "sugar disease".  And then on August 20, 1913, my dad was born.  Can you imagine that?  Losing two of your children and then having a new baby - all in one summer?  And did I mention that my grandmother was 41 years old? 

 

 It has always been in my heart that neither of these boys -my two uncles - would have died if the same scenario played out in my lifetime.  We take for granted doctors and hospitals and antibiotics as well as other amazing medical advances like insulin.  But it was not that long ago that these "miracles" were not available.  I've been thinking about a video I saw on the internet the other day watch it here. It is a story about a 15 year old boy, Jack Andraka, that invented a way to detect pancreatic cancer for only 3 cents. Amazing. I can't help but think of all the other miraculous things, yet to be discovered, that Yahweh has gifted to people.

 

I am convinced that there are amazing, creative inventions and solutions on the horizon.  Yahweh's kingdom is ever increasing and His glory is being revealed through His people.  I am also convinced that my children and grandchildren will have a part in bringing about these miracles.   It gives me a hope and excitement for what is ahead.  And it gives me great joy.

 

Thank you Yahweh for helping me to see your hand in the many miracles we see today.  Thank you for my family and the way that you have gifted and used all the generations.  Yahweh, I pray special blessing on my entire extended family.  May they draw close to you and hear your voice.  Thank you for your great love and the gift of Jesus.   Amen

 

 

 

 

 



 











The carrot, the egg and the coffee bean....

If I have learned one thing on this vacation it is to breath in during the horrible storms we have been driving through.  Ken and I were remembering one amazing vacation several years ago, when we drove over 3800 miles and never had one drop of rain!  This trip has not been like that.  We have had rain, RAIN AND MORE RAIN!  And of course, the worst storms always seem to happen in the cities with the most traffic!  Today I remembered to breath.  I remembered to pray.  I remembered to ask others to pray.  And then I picked up my phone and started looking at Facebook!  Isn't that a good way to take your mind off of the wind and the rain and the lightening?  Which brings me to the title of this post.   I saw a little story that has been on my mind the rest of the day.

The story compared hard and difficult times to a pot of boiling water.  The water doesn't change.  Just like our circumstances sometimes don't change.  So the question is...............  when you are in that pot of boiling water, are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?   The carrot starts off hard and solid.  But when dropped into that boiling water, it become soft and squishy.  It really doesn't hold up.  The egg has a hard exterior. It seems like it will be fine, but under those hot and boiling circumstances, the inside become hard. The coffee bean doesn't seem to change.  BUT the water changes.  Instead of being effected by the boiling water..... it changes the environment! 

I want to be a coffee bean!  How about you?  I want to stay solid and firm.  I don't want to get soft and mushy like that carrot.  And I know that I don't want to harden my heart like that egg.  And the coffee bean doesn't just change the water.... it releases a wonderful aroma that draws people in.   Once again I am in awe of Yahweh's plan for us.  He designed us to be able to not only get through difficult times, but we can actually change things in the midst of troubles and storms.  AND we can release a wonderful aroma of joy and peace at the same time.   The best part about this is that the coffee bean doesn't have to DO ANYTHING!!!!!  It just is!!!   It just gets thrown into that hot water and then just has to BE! 

So, I am going to think of myself as a coffee bean!  I will remember that I don't have to DO anything at all.  Those tough and difficult situations will happen, but in the midst of them, it is Yahweh's plan to release HIS presence and power that changes things.  And it is His aroma that swirls out as joy, and peace and love.  What a relief! 

Thanks to the person that posted that wonderful story.  It has given me much to think and meditate about.  The story helped me to relax and travel through the storm as we drove.  I love little things that help me to hold on to these concepts.  Today it is a coffee bean!

Yahweh, what a wonderful, loving, amazing God you are.  I am in awe of your plans and your purposes.  You reign over the heavens and over the earth.  You are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Thank you for showing me your plan in the little things.  Thank you for the coffee bean! (And the coffee!).   Amen