Message from the past....

Yesterday Ken and I discovered this.  At first glance you might wonder, "What in the heck is that?"
Well, this was the shelf in the closet in one of our bedrooms.  Our house is on "lot 13" in our subdivision.  And while I see the word "JOY" pretty clearly, I actually think it says J O 4.  Most likely a code for the placement of that shelf.  I remember that some people told us that we should not choose this particular house because it was LOT 13 and might be bad luck.  Since I didn't believe in luck, this really made no difference to me. And I know that even if that word didn't start off as "joy", the message is clear.  There has been great joy in this house!

That bedroom and that shelf have seen lots of changes in 37 years.  It started out as our guest room.  My mom and dad spent many nights in that room and we also had friends visit from out of state and stay in that room.  Gwen moved into that room as her first "big girl" bedroom.

 It was her room for many years until she went to college.  Then it became Doug's room. That shelf showed a bit of Doug's creativity as it was notched to allow for cables to run into the attic.  Doug stayed in that room until his early 20's when he moved out to live with friends.  For several years that room was a sort of "guest room".  We didn't really have it set up as such, but it often held an inflatable bed or two when it was needed.  Now it is becoming Ken's photo studio.  Another transformation is taking place.  And in all of the changes there has been JOY.

It seems funny to be talking about joy after months of sorrow.  I am grateful for the reminders of all of the joy that Jesus has sown into our home and our family.  This is one of those times that I have felt that "wake up call".  It is so easy to get bogged down in the very real sadness and forget about the wonderful blessings that are in our family.  I would like to say that I feel that joy, but it might be a bit soon. I can hope for joy.  But I am reminding myself that there is JOY and I am also speaking joy into my spirit.  And sometimes that is enough.

Isn't it interesting that we CAN speak into our spirits and remind ourselves of the truth?  I love that David had to do this in the Psalms.  He reminded himself to "Bless the Lord, o my soul".  So I feel quite okay with saying "Remember the joy, o my spirit"!  And there is power in the things that we speak into ourselves.  Power in the words that we say, even silently, about who we are and what the truth is in our situations.  A few years ago a friend of mine made up a list of all the positive characteristics of Jesus that she possessed.  Each day she would speak those things out loud as she looked in a mirror.  Things like "I am a child of the King".  "My Father in heaven loves me".  "Jesus will never leave me."  "I have the mind of Christ".  I think that I will begin a list right now!

Jesus, thank you for using everything to speak into us....even an old shelf from a closet.  Holy Spirit, remind us all to speak words of truth into our own spirits.  Help us to hold on to these truths even in the midst of dark and sad times. Give us wisdom to know exactly what we need to be speaking to ourselves.  Help us craft exactly the correct list that we each need to help us hold on to truth.  Jesus, thank you for the years of joy you have given to our family.  Amen

Love finding an old picture and getting some clarity on the present!

Recently Gwen pulled out a large ziplock bag of pictures that she had gotten from my mom in 2010.   I sorted through and took some of the ones that I knew I did not have.  This is one of those pictures.   Ken and I (holding Sheba) and my mom and dad.  This was taken sometime in the summer of 1978.  I assume it was around the time that my mom and dad stayed with us after their house in Elk Grove sold and before my dad's actual retirement date.  It was a wonderful couple of weeks with them.  My dad really loved Sheba.  I was glad to have them staying in our new house.  We had just moved in a few months before and I loved having my mom help me decorate!   The only odd thing about this time was that I was SOOOOOOO tired.  I couldn't figure out why I was coming home from work and falling asleep on the couch! I so wanted to enjoy the time with them before they moved to Minnesota. So a few weeks later, when I called my mom and dad to share some big news, my mom was not the least bit surprised.  She knew I was pregnant before I did!  Aren't mom's wonderful? 

When I look at this picture, I remember how much I missed my parents after their move.   I didn't really expect to feel so alone when they left.   But suddenly, I was far away from all my family.  And to add to it, I was expecting my first baby.   I really wanted my mom!  It didn't help to complain to my sisters.  Neither of them had mom close by when they had their babies.  As a matter of fact, my sister Julie had her first baby just after we left Minnesota and moved to Illinois.   My sister Karen had lived in South Dakota when her first was born and we lived in Minnesota.  So I decided I couldn't really complain about this.   But, none the less, I missed her very much.   And to top it off, my dad was very sick and hospitalized when Gwen was born.  So I couldn't even talk to her on the phone!   And they didn't get to come and see Gwen until she was about 7 weeks old.   I know that this is part of the reason why I am so grateful to have been with Gwen during the birth of all 4 of her children.  And why I feel so blessed to be able to spend one day a week with Gwen and those sweet grandchildren.  

It's good to think about these things.   First of all, it helps to put into perspective events from your past.  And then, it helps to clarify and give meaning to how things are currently.   I love that one picture can help me to understand more clearly why I can't imagine moving away from Gwen and Doug right now (or anytime in the near future! - Sorry Ken).  I am going to really enjoy all the time that I have with my kids and grandkids and take lots of pictures.  That way I'll have lots of reminders in the future!

Jesus, thank you for my family.  Holy Spirit, it is such a gift to realize how much you have guided and directed my life.  Thank you for pictures and memories.   Jesus, thank you for the chance to change our present in ways that effect the future.   Amen