When an empty house holds years and years of memories....

Today I wandered through an empty house that holds so many memories.  We are preparing Ken's parents house for sale.  They bought the house in 1972 and moved into the house in 1973.  That is a long, long time.  After the death of Ken's dad in April, we have known that the sale of the house was on the horizon.  Today, the reality of this process hit me.  As I stood in the living room I was thinking back on all of the different "looks" that the room had over the years.  I was remembering so many family gatherings, so many "drop in" times, so many, many times.  Today I had a very quick flashback to the day that Ken's mom turned 50. The reason I remember that day is because it was also the day Ken and I got (officially) engaged - I got my ring.  We stood in the middle of that room and told mom and dad that we were getting married.  So many memories, so many milestones. 

This was actually one of the last "family gathering" days that we had with Ken's mom and dad.  It was their 65th Wedding Anniversary in  2007.  Ken's mom was already not doing very well physically and had oxygen (that she often refused to use).  She died just about a year and half later, in April of 2009. Ken's dad moved to Florida and the house was rented to our nephew and his wife.  But now, it is time for a new family to make this house their home.  

Ken and I got a couple of boxes of "stuff" that belonged to his dad.  One of the things that I stopped and held in my hands for a bit, was this strap that was dad's favorite and was often on any dulcimer that he was currently playing.  

Yes, it is this very strap that was on this dulcimer in 1980 (I know the year since that is Gwen at 18 months old!).  Isn't it interesting what brings back those memories?  I was really surprised today, that I got so nostalgic.  I was not expecting this at all.  I think it is all a part of my new "normal" dealing with grief and loss every day.  Things that may not have hit me quite so hard, now seem to slam into my spirit.  Time marches on.  Everything changes.  Children grow up and have children of their own. 

And we face losses - some expected and some very unexpected.  And all of this happens in our homes.   

Just last week I was talking with a group of my friends about the promise of the commandment to "honor your mother and father"  for a long prosperous life.  There are many ways that plays out.  I am just very thankful that Ken and I were able to have our parents in our lives for as long as we did.  We were blessed that our children grew up knowing them.  And have an amazing legacy of memories of shared times together.  

I am so very thankful today.  Thankful for all that Ken's mom and dad planted in their family.  During family gatherings, Ken's mom used to love to say "all this because one day I went roller skating!"  So it was another day of realizing the "generational shift" and understanding once more the deep importance of family.  

Jesus, thank you for this reminder to appreciate past generations.  Holy Spirit, help us all to honor those above us in the generations.  Jesus, bless the house that surrounded our family and bring in the exact right people to once again fill up that house.  Thank you for your love and care for our family.  Amen

Growing in admiration for both my mother AND my daughter!

Okay, so this picture may seem a bit out of place today.  But you will understand better why I selected this picture as you keep reading.   First of all, this picture is from 1980 November when Gwen was 18 months old.  I had taken her to Minnesota to visit my mom and dad.  I love this picture of the three of them.  It is one of my favorites.

So, as you know from my last blog, I spent the weekend at Gwen and Tim's watching their four children.  I had a really wonderful time being with them and got to have some time with each one.  They are really great kids and I had no issues at all over the two days and nights that I spent with them.  They cooperated, slept well, ate well and played hard!  But just let me add, I AM TIRED!  I slept about the same amount as I usually do (with maybe a couple of added interruptions), and we didn't leave the house at all (except to walk to the park), so I am at a loss as to why I am feeling this way!  Except to say that taking care of four children is hard work!  It is hard work at any age, but at 60 - yes it is tiring.

Last night Anna woke up at an unusual time and seemed hungry.  So I gave her a bottle.  For the next 40 minutes I listened to her "playing" in her crib.  She was not crying, she was just "talking".  I don't know exactly what she was looking at (it was dark in her room) or playing with (she had nothing in her crib except her pacifier) but she was just happily vocalizing from her crib.  She eventually went to sleep.  But during that time that I was listening to her, I got to thinking about my mom and dad.  There was a particular event/time that my mom always talked about as being very challenging but also very rewarding for her.  My sister needed to go to Mayo Clinic for some life saving surgery and she lived in Montana at the time.  My parents lived in the Minneapolis area. Unfortunately, my sister's then husband did not make very wise choices and he did not want to take care of their children during this surgery.  My sister's children were ages 9, 7, not yet 3, and just turned 1.  So my mom and dad brought my sister to their home, took her to Rochester for the surgery, and then cared for her four daughters during her hospitalization and recovery.  I was thinking about how much stress that was for all of them - my sister and my parents.  First for my sister......wow!  You are experiencing your own trauma but then you have the worry of your children.  For my parents, not only did they have the concern for their daughter but they had the care of these kids.  But here is what my mom would always say about this time taking care of Elise, Chris, Sara and Staci.  I remember her sort of telling a story on herself about her experience with disposable diapers.  She really had never used them and couldn't figure out how they worked. (This was in 1978 so disposables were quite new!). And having two in diapers was not something that my mom had ever done. The main thing she always talked about from this event was how my dad really stepped up to the plate.  I really think this might have been one of the first times that he was around with little kids.  During all the years that we were growing up, he traveled for his job and was not home much.  We were all spaced far apart and my mom and dad never really had two babies in the house at the same time! At the time of my sister's surgery, my dad had just retired and they had relocated into a smaller house in Minnesota.  Mom told how Dad had fashioned gates for the stairs on the first day that they had the kids.  Dad also took the older two girls under his wing and often took them shopping for groceries or out on errands.  And he would always get them special treats.   I am sure that this time was stressful for them and I know that they must have been tired.  But when my mom talked about this time, she always had a smile on her face.  My sister did well during her surgery and recovery and my parents were thankful that they were able to be there and help her during this crisis.  I think that my sister and her kids spent a couple of months with my parents.  This memory did cause me to admire my parents and see them in a different way than I had before.  They really rose to the occasion and managed very well.

Yes, I was feeling very thankful that it was not an "emergency" that brought me to Gwen's house.  It was a chance for Gwen and Tim to minister and share their gifts and talents with youth from their church.  And it was not a couple of months, it was a couple of days.   But Gwen and Tim do this "parenting of four small children" EVERYDAY!   Yes, it does increase your understanding when you "do" their life for a couple of days.  When Gwen says she is tired, SHE IS TIRED!  When they say they are busy, THEY ARE BUSY!  But I know that they are also filled with the love and joy from those precious children.  There are hugs, kisses and more hugs through out the day.  Zeke likes to do "cannonball" hugs (where he runs across the room and throws himself at you!) And he is not a little boy!  I just loved  hearing  "Grandma Lyn, come here!" When I answered his call, Zeke said "Grandma Lyn, I love you, have good sleep!"  God knew what he was doing when he gives babies to those who are younger and stronger.  And I admire Gwen and Tim for parenting their children with love and most importantly, with Jesus.

Last night, as I watched Lia, Ellie and Zeke in the "big bath tub" splashing around in mounds of bubbles, I couldn't have been happier.  Anna was already sleeping in her crib and we were all laughing at the soap bubble fun.  It was one of those times that I didn't think to get out my camera.  But I have those memories stored up and I won't forget this.  I felt bathed in the warmth and love of these children.   And I am blessed.

Isn't it interesting how Jesus helps us appreciate where we are in our own life through memories and thoughts of other generations?  I love that I can see my mom and dad in a new light, after caring for my own grandchildren.  And I can reflect on the times I had with my own children as I watch them with their children.  Can't we all look back on memories of our family - both good and bad memories - and grow in understanding as we see these events through different eyes.   I am so thankful that this memory of my mom and dad was "re-framed" by my own experiences this weekend.

Jesus, thank you for connecting me once again to both my mother and my daughter through this memory.  Thank you for times in the night to pray and listen to your voice.  Thank you for laughter and hugs and kisses.  Thank you for family and connections between the generations.  And thank you for a warm, comfy bed!  Amen

Celebrating daughters!

This picture is one of my very all time favorites.  This is me and Gwen in September of 1979 when she was about 4 months old.  Gwen doesn't understand why I love this picture, and to tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure why I love this picture!  I think because it is one of the few pictures I have of me with Gwen (since I was usually the one taking the pictures) and more than that, it is just a candid shot!  I love that we are just laying on the couch together.  I love the look on her face.  I just love this picture!    I decided to post this shot today because we just found out that Gwen and Tim's expected baby is a GIRL!!!!  So Lia, Ellie and Zeke will have a new little sister next February.  We are so excited.  Zeke, we love you, but I am so excited to see all those cute little dresses again!  And I am envisioning the wonderful 3 matching dresses in the future - with Zeke coordinating is some very "manly" way! 

And with all that........... my life-long friend today is Gwen!  How could I leave her out of this "mini series" on friends?  I realized that I always said that my mom was my best friend.  And in the later years, I really began to know this in a deep and meaningful way.  And that has made me appreciate so much more, my relationship with Gwen.  I am sooooo blessed by Gwen on a daily basis.  So often she brings me a word or thought from her bible study or devotions or a sermon or something she has seen on the internet.  And I am so thankful that first of all, she communicates these things with me on a regular basis (okay honesty here, we usually talk at least once a day).  I know that many moms are not so blessed to have daughters who call daily.  More than just the calls, I am so blessed by the spiritual depth of our conversations.  I love that we can really share what is most important to us.  I love that I know that she is praying for me!  I love that she knows that I am praying for her!   It is simply amazing to watch her parent her children with so much grace.  What a joy it is to see her prophetic gifting coming forth.  And more than that, to see how much deeper and clearer her gifting is.  I love how she loves children and youth with whom she interacts.  I love her heart to reach the youth with the love of Jesus.  I love that she understands how to reach people in her generation.  And now I love watching her develop this same kind of relationship with her own daughters and son.   How special! 

Today I encourage you all to think about your relationships with your family.  If you are blessed with open and sharing relationships with your children and/or your parents - CELEBRATE and give thanks!  If you feel distant from your family members, pray and trust that Jesus will work this out.  The Holy Spirit is great at bringing families back together.  It is the heart of Yahweh to build strong loving families.  Our family members can and should be our best life-long friends.  Thank you Jesus!

Jesus, thank you for showing me today how you have blessed me through Gwen. Holy Spirit please encourage all those who are feeling distant in their relationships with their parents or children or siblings.  Give them great faith to trust in your ability to bring reconciliation and blessings to families.  Jesus, thank you for my new granddaughter.  Continue to protect and guard her as she grows and develops before her birth.  Thank you for Lia, Ellie and Zeke.  Bring them great joy and give them all a tight bond as siblings.  Thank you for Tim and Doug and Susie!  And Jesus, thank you so much for Ken.  Amen

PS.... Car update:  My car needs a new starter and will be repaired on Monday!  Ken and I were discussing what a blessing it was that the starter went out in a driveway when I was the only one effected.  Not during the car line, not when the kids were in the car, not when I was MILES away from home.  Not in the dark.  Jesus, thank you for your perfect timing! And thank you for honest, dependable car repair people!