National Sibling Day.....

I have seen so many posts today about National Sibling Day and I was trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to share about my siblings!  I decided to share this photo since it clearly shows the wide age spacing of my siblings.  This was Christmas 1955 and I am that little 15 month old sitting on the stool.  This photo was also taken at a house that the rest of my siblings would say was their "childhood" home.  I, on the other hand, really don't have any memories of this house since we moved when I was just 3 years old.  The house, in Watertown, South Dakota, is now gone and the lot is the current Post Office.   I never got to visit that house to try to recall memories, but I am thankful for the many stories shared by my mom and siblings.  So I feel as if I "know" that house. 

If I had to list first "childhood memories" of my siblings it might look something like this....

Karen - my first real memories of Karen are preparing for her wedding.  I was in Kindergarten and it seemed very exciting to me.  She had moved back home from college and she had lots of really amazing jewelry. 

Jerry -  my first memory of Jerry is his Ham radio set up in the basement of our home when I was 6 years old. He had post cards around a world map from people he had talked to all over the world. 

Julie -  I remember her "room" in an upstairs hallway when I was 4 years old.  She had pictures of horses all over the wall.  And she had a special doll that I was not allowed to touch!

Greg -  He was a cub scout and my mom was the pack leader.  I went with on many trips to the hobby store and also on the many field trips they took.  I remember the blue and gold banquet when I was 4.

I was thinking about the last time that we spent any time together. It was in 2005....

and it was for mom's 90th birthday.  It is really a shame, that as adults we did not purpose to spend more time together.  I often only saw my siblings while visiting my mom!  Being busy with our own families, living far away from each other seem like just silly excuses now.  Sadly, my sister Karen died in 2007.   And truthfully, I haven't seen my brother Greg since mom's funeral in 2011 and I last saw Jerry in 2011 at Doug and Susie's wedding. I also saw my sister Karen's husband, Roy, at their wedding.   I saw Julie at the wedding of one of her granddaughters in 2015.  So there you have it.... weddings and funerals.  The only time that we have managed to get together. 

I am always kind of envious when I hear my friends talk about being together with their siblings.  As a matter of fact, one of my good friends and her sister are part of my small group!  It would be nice to be able to have an impromptu gathering that included my siblings.  I am most sad that my siblings really don't know my children or grandchildren very well.  They have only spent a limited amount of time with them.  And it makes me sad to think that Lia and Ellie can not learn how to make Lefse from Karen.  Or that Doug never got to talk with Jerry about Ham radio. (Doug actually had his Ham license when he was in middle school!)  If Julie lived closer, she might be able to help Ellie learn how to sew.  Zeke has the potential to be some kind of engineer and I know he would love talking with Greg and Jerry or Roy.   And I am sad that I never had the chance to be really close with any of my nieces (no nephews- Doug was the only Grandson) and their children.  Certainly a hazard of the times.

So when people ask me if I am "close" with my siblings, I have to say no.... not really.  I am glad that Julie and I keep in touch via facebook and phone.  But again, I miss having her just across town. Or even in the same state!   I am feeling  blessed that I spent many hours listening to my mom share her stories of each of my siblings. I am also thankful that I did spend some time with each of them as an adult. 

So on National Sibling Day, I am feeling blessed to be a part of the family that God gave me.  While my situation may seem very different than yours, I know that there is a plan and purpose for the exact family that I have.  While I may not have a traditionally close relationship with my siblings, I know that there is a common heritage in each of us.  Our lives may look very different, we may live in different states and have very different likes and dislikes, but we are connected to each other.  Our shared ancestry and the heritage and spiritual legacy that has been sown into our family, continue into the future. 

Jesus, thank you for my siblings and my mom and dad.  You had a plan for me that included the exact family I am in.  Holy Spirit, bring comfort to anyone that is missing their siblings.  Give us all those reminders to connect or reconnect with anyone that is distant from us.  Jesus help us to remember that each day may be our last chance to make amends or share love with someone.  Your plan was always for families to be an expression of your love for us.  Thank you for that great love.  Amen

Remembering advice and .... blessings of sisters

Today is my sister Karen's birthday. Sadly Karen died in 2007.  Just last week I was talking about my family....my sisters and brothers.... with my small group Bible Study.  You might think that the above picture is not a really good shot.  But for me, it is really significant.  I love that I am sitting on Karen's lap and my sister Julie is sitting next to her.  Here we are, three sisters.  But you can see by the picture, there was quite an age gap between us.  As a matter of fact Karen was home from college, Julie was a junior high girl and I was just 4 years old.  This picture is special to me because I actually remember this time.  On the other side of the room was a Christmas tree. I guess your memories start to really form somewhere around 3 or 4 years old.  I remember very clearly, waiting by the window for Karen to get home.  Karen got married before I was 6 and moved away.   In many ways Karen and I related a bit like she was my aunt rather than my sister (especially since her kids were closer in age to me that she was!).  But I have these times of memories of Karen that are such a blessing to me. I love this picture of us.  It was taken in 1976 at my brother Greg's wedding.  Karen was making sure that my sweater was exactly right.  I remember that I so wanted her approval.

As I got older, got married and had children, our age difference seemed to matter less and less. It was a wonderful surprise when she sent me a package in the mail after Gwen was born. It included sweet dresses for Gwen and also a note (that I am so sorry I didn't keep) but I did not forget what she said. She reminded me that I should "not sweat the small stuff" when I was parenting.  Karen told me that the best parenting advice she could give me was to let go of the little things and choose the battles with my children. I never forgot that advice.   I loved that she came to my home for a visit when Doug was a baby and Gwen was a preschooler.  We were suddenly not only sisters, but moms! One of my favorite memories was in the summer of 1979.  All of my siblings gathered at the "Lake".  Karen and I actually shared the living room, each of us on one of the sofa's, with Gwen in a playpen between us (she was 4 months old).  Karen and I laughed about the fact that this was the first time that we ever shared a bedroom as sisters!  

And here is a picture of us sisters in 1985 at the time of my dad's funeral.  Isn't it interesting how much we look alike?  Yes, I was very blessed to have these two women in my life.  Both of my sisters had a part in shaping my choices and the path that I walked as a child, teenager, young adult and married woman and mother.  It was really difficult for my mom when Karen died.  She was 92 at the time and had been very close to Karen.  It is always difficult to lose a child no matter how old they are!  And Karen was very missed during the last years of my mom's life. I  regretted that I didn't spend more time with my sister.

I have really gotten to know Karen better in these last years, by learning more about her three children... my nieces Amy, Nancy and Susan.  Thanks to Facebook, I keep up with all that is happening in their family.  This is certainly a wonderful benefit of the internet. These sisters have kept in close contact and have a wonderful relationship.  My brother-in-law Roy enjoys time with all of them and his grandchildren.  Karen's legacy lives on.  

I never forgot that advice that Karen gave me on parenting.  It was a foundation of my dealing with Gwen and Doug.  I am so thankful that Karen loved Jesus and served Him all of her life.  She sang His praises with an incredible voice.  She cared for others with a heart of love.  She was a planner and could carry out events with grace and poise.  And she loved her husband and family.  Yes, she was a blessing to me and to so many others.

Isn't it sad how we realize only in hind sight how important relationships are?  I know that the last few months have caused me to evaluate what is really necessary and what I need to devote my time and energy towards.  It is always good to have a bit of a wake up call since everyone seems to get caught in the rut of busy-ness.  Rushing here and there and packing your calendar with events that may not even be that important.  This is the time to purpose to change priorities.  Spend time with those that matter to you.  Sow seeds for your legacy.  Share and care and love above all.  Don't waste a precious moment.  

Jesus, thank you for family, for siblings for parents and children.  Thank you for reminders of seeds that have been sown into us through well meaning advice.  Holy Spirit, help us all to spend time with those we value.  Help us to keep our priorities right.  Thank you for revealing the legacy of my sister Karen through her children and grandchildren.  Jesus, thank you for the wake up call.  Amen

Celebrating "Sibling Day" and Mom....

As I have said, April is a tough month for me.  I set out to celebrate this month with memories and sharing rather than trying to ignore this month.  Today I saw on Facebook that it is "Sibling Day".  And for the last several weeks, my Mom has been on mind.  So the above photo certainly fits today.  I think it may be the last photo of all of us together. It was taken at my mom's 90th birthday in 2005.   We actually managed to get EVERYONE to that event.   ALL of my siblings, ALL of the grandchildren, and ALL of the great grandchildren came that day.  My mom was so happy!  There is really nothing that made my mom happier than having us all together.   We had a family party on Saturday and most of us from out of town stayed at the same hotel (Lia affectionately called this hotel "the Castle Pool"!  She loved that hotel since it was a part of seeing Great Grandma Nona).   The party was held in the Community Room of my mom's apartment building. We took these family
pictures at that party.  Some of us were able to stay on Sunday and the celebration continued with a party for all of her friends, held in the dining room of her building.   It was wonderful to see the room fill up with her friends and family.   We had a wonderful time and mom was truly amazed that anyone would care that it was her 90th birthday.  She was surprised when she turned 95.  I remember that she told me she never expected to live that long.  I assured her that Jesus had plans for her and that there was much for her to accomplish.    I reminded her that there were many people in her building who needed  a smile and a kind word each day.  So she set out to make a difference each day right where she lived.   I saw the effect of this during many visits.  Yes, mom was well liked at that senior apartment. 

One of the benefits of being the youngest child, was that I got to hear all the stories about my siblings!   I believe that I heard about when each of them were younger much more than I heard stories about myself!  Mom loved to talk about Karen and Jerry when they babies.  I do think it is very interesting that because of our age difference, Karen and I had very different "birth" stories.  When Karen was born (in 1938), mom stayed in the hospital for 10 days! ON HER BACK in bed!  She was not allowed to walk anywhere until they sent her home.  I remember her saying that she was so weak from not moving around that she was afraid she would drop Karen!   Contrast that birth with my own in 1954.  Mom went to the hospital on Monday morning at around 5:30am, I was born at 7:10am.  On Wednesday morning the doctor suggested that she should go home since my dad had to leave town on business.   So she did! It was a small town and the doctor knew that she had plenty of help at home.   I heard stories about Karen and Jerry during the years my dad was in WWII.  I heard stories of Julie when she was sick.  I heard stories about Greg and the troubles that he got into as a small boy.   So, sorry to my siblings, but I think I know some of your "secrets"!  Mom made sure to share them with me.   I am so thankful that I got to listen to these stories.  Unfortunately, we have lost the art of "storytelling".  You know, that verbal passing on of family stories and history.   In a way, this blog is acting as my "storytelling".  

Jesus, thank you for my mom and the wonderful years that we had together.  Thank you for my siblings.  Holy Spirit, help us all to see the benefit of keeping our family history alive by sharing it!   Holy Spirit keep our eyes, ears and hearts open to see you working in our family times.  Jesus, thank you for giving me more reasons to celebrate and remember my mom.   Thank you for the spiritual heritage in our family.   Amen

Two days to admit the truth....

Today I have been thinking about siblings.  This morning I was talking to Gwen on the phone and Ellie and Zeke were with her in the car.  Zeke had been at the doctor and was unfortunately diagnosed with "Hand, Foot and Mouth" disease.  (This is a viral infection that seems to run through preschool aged kids like wildfire.  No treatment, just a week of misery with blisters on the bottoms of the feet, palms of the hands and in the mouth).  Ellie was her usual care-giving self.  She was concerned about her brother!  Later in the day, I got to talk to Zeke on the phone and he told me about the "owies" in his mouth.  And then Ellie gave me the whole story. 

 

So it is interesting to think about Lia, Ellie and Zeke (and of course the baby on the way!) and wonder how they will relate to each other as adults.  I know that, as parents, we all wonder how our children will be together as adults.  And I am sure that many of us can bring to mind families who do not relate well as adults. 

 

 I am so thankful that Gwen and Doug actually like to spend time together.  This past weekend, the two families went camping together.  The four adults (one pregnant), three kids and three dogs.  And it rained.  But it warms my heart to know that they enjoy being together. I feel very blessed.

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TRUTH TELLING TIME.........  I actually wrote the above post last night, but I knew that I couldn't post it.  The truth is, I was thinking about my own siblings.  And tonight I can admit that I am very sad.  





 

This picture was taken the last time we were all together, on my mom's 90th birthday.  My sister Karen died two years later.  But what was on my mind last night, was how far apart our family has become.  We barely communicate and we are never together.  Last night I was remembering how many times my mom spoke about this to me.  She was very worried that after she died, we would all drift apart.  She felt that she was the only reason we had any contact.  Sadly, she was right.  Also, my mom was the "spiritual compass" of our family.  She was so solidly sure of her faith in Jesus.  She knew exactly where she would be when she died, and she was not afraid to get to heaven.  She had waited all her life, to meet her mother.  And in the last years, she talked at great length of her greatest desire to see ALL of her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren come to know Jesus.  She would say that she could not understand how people could get by without faith.  It was the total assurance she had that my sister Karen knew Jesus and would be waiting for her in heaven, that made the last years without her, bearable. Mom said, "It's not supposed to be this way - children should not die before their parents".  I know that she said years and years of prayers for all of us.  And I also know that Jesus will honor all of those prayers.  Yep, my mom left a Spiritual Heritage that will not be destroyed.  So, in spite of the miles that are between us, in spite of the many differences in our life styles, our beliefs, our hobbies, our jobs - we are still family.  And I commit today, to not forget my siblings when I pray. So, Roy, Jerry, Thoralee, Julie, Greg, Louisa, be on notice that I am praying for you!  Amy, Bill, Nancy, Juan, Susan, Jeff, Elise, Dale, Chris, Sara, Greg, Staci, Aaron - this includes you also!  Bennett, Taylor, Blake, Kirsten, Brandi, Nick, Josh, Zack, Fran, Dan, Emily, Noah, Austin, Chad, Angela, Brad, Riana, Bradyn, Paige, Logan - I'm praying for you also! 

 

Jesus, I pray that you would reach out right now and touch each one of my siblings and their families.  Holy Spirit, remind them all of Mom's great love for them.  Jesus, speak into their hearts and bring a new depth of understanding to each of them, of your great love for them.  Bring those that do not know you into your kingdom, Jesus and bless them.  Thank you Jesus, that you care about our families more than we do!  Your great desire is that all would believe.  Remind everyone reading this blog, that you are the creator of family and your desire is to bless us.  Amen