Seeing the past and the future... one picture at a time.

 This photo of Doug was taken in at Ken's parent's house Christmas of 1986.  Ken's dad loved this organ and had learned to play after his retirement.  Doug spent many hours sitting here making "music", thankfully with headphones on to spare the rest of us!  When Grandpa Rowley moved to Florida in 2009, Doug "inherited" this organ.  It now sits in Doug and Susie's living room.  Lately, both James and Grace have been making their own special music at this same organ.  

Considering Doug's love of all things music, it is no surprise that the kids would love it also!  Grace is always saying she is going to be a dancer and singer when she grows up.  And recently Jimmy has found that two pieces of his wooden puzzle, slapped together, make very good cymbals!  

I snapped these pictures of the kids playing the organ yesterday, when I got to watch the kids for a few hours on Saturday.  Now that Grace is in school, I don't get much time to be with her.  So this Saturday visit was extra special.  Doug is out of town on a fishing trip, so Susie and I had a fun afternoon taking the kids to a special park to meet some friends. 

This park has a "Story Walk" which includes the pages of a book, arranged around a path surrounding the playground.  You get to read the entire book as you walk the circle.  Grace and her friend Maya had a great time hearing the story, while their little brothers just enjoyed the walk.  At 16 months, Jimmy is a runner!  When let out of the stroller, he figured out how to climb the stairs to the slide and went up the stairs and down the slide, over and over!  I don't know who was more tired after our two hour visit to the park - the kids or grandma!  

Earlier in the day while Jimmy was napping, Grace and I were "painting" some pictures from a paint with water book.  She was painting John the Baptist holding a dove in his hand and I was painting Moses crossing the Red Sea. We were having a great conversation about Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit.  And then Grace asked a really common question..... "If God is only one God, then how come we say that Jesus is also God?"  What a powerful question for a 5 year old!  I was able to use the water/ice/steam analogy with her.  There is nothing better than seeing the "light bulb" go off and that look on their face telling you that they understand what you are saying.  I told Grace that even adults can't really understand this, but we know it is true!  Later, when I was putting ice in my water cup to take to the park, Grace smiled and said "Are you putting a little Jesus in there Grandma?"  I knew exactly what she was talking about!  

These days with the grandkids are so special.  The pictures of the kids at the organ remind me of the connection between the past and the future.  Yes, it is the same organ in these pictures - 35 years apart.  But it is also that special heritage of music between the generations.  Gwen currently has possession of some sheet music that belonged to MY grandmother, Nora Larson Toensing.  She loved to play the piano and had a singing voice that could literally be heard for miles.  Gwen surely inherited that ability and has passed it on to her own children. Talking with Grace about the Triune God, is just another way that I get to share the Spiritual heritage of our family. I am so thankful that I have time to share with my children and grandchildren the things that are the most important to me.  

My best advice today is to take the time to be present with those around you.  Put down your phone and pick up a paintbrush, even it you just use water and a special paint-with-water picture.  Watch the little ones explore an organ or piano or dance with with them to a song on the radio.  Go outside on a beautiful fall day.  Walk that path and climb that slide!  Most of all, listen to the questions and have some deep conversations.  Share the things you love with those you love!  

Jesus, thank you for these reminders today.  Holy Spirit, give us all answers to those hard questions of faith.  Help us to enjoy every day with those we love.  Thank you for the change of seasons.  Give us strength to walk each day, drawing closer to you Jesus.  Provide the courage we need to share our faith with those around us.  Thank you Jesus for your love!  Amen 

Family and fun the first part of July

James has been such a joy for our family.  I have been trying to soak in as many memories as I can with him.  Gwen was able to visit and get her own share of baby love.  Grace just love seeing "the cousins" and because of distance and busy schedules, the kids don't get much time together.  So fun is on the docket when we are together.

We took a walk to the park and I managed to snap this picture of the moms with their kids!  They all love being together so much and it is great to see their friendships grow.  Covid has been hard on everyone but you can sure see it in the youngest kids.  Everyone is so glad for these family times.  I snapped this photo on the way to the park..

Anna and Grace have such a sweet relationship.  Their interests are very similar and they just love being together.  I can see some wonderful times together in the future

I got to spend part of the 4th of July with Doug and Susie, going to a local parade.  Ken and I had been at this parade with them in 2018 and 2019.  Ken really loved parades and it was good to celebrate, once again after Covid, at this parade.  James slept through the entre parade and Gracie loved getting the candy!  She could barely carry her bag of loot on the way home.  

We took some pictures after the parade when we got back to their house.  I love these yearly photos so much!  They just reflect how much the kids have grown and also all the changes in our family.  

Our last 4th of July pictures in 2019 were Ken and I with Grace.  Now we have added James but lost Ken.  So thankful for these pictures that mark the passage of time.  

Just after the busy 4th weekend, Susie and I took Grace and James back to Blackberry Farms.  I took Grace there on the day that James was born.  She was so excited to show Mommy and James around the park.  

It was a nice day, cooler and cloudy.  We spent a really nice couple of hours, feeding the animals, riding the pony, taking a hayride and riding the train.  It was the first real "outing" like this with James and he slept the entire time.  

While I was looking at my photos for these upcoming blogs, I found this really wonderful picture of James.

There are so many things I love about this picture.  It was just a casual picture I took of James when he had first started smiling.  When I was looking at this picture I noticed the placemat behind me on the table.  This was not a posed picture at all and I never noticed the placemat. Until long after the picture was taken.  To me it looks like Lucas is looking out over James.  James will grow up knowing his big brother Lucas, just as Grace does.  There is no "right or wrong" way for a family to move on after the death of a baby.  Or for that matter, the death of the grandpa.  I am so thankful that Jesus has walked all of us through grief that comes when you least expect it.  One thing I have learned in this process, all of the people in our "family tree" have sown into our lives in some way.  No matter how far away from us they are, there were seeds planted that carry on through generations.  There are connections that are a part of us.  I am so thankful that generations ago, my family decided to follow Jesus.  And because of that Spiritual seed, the Holy Spirit stirred me into my own faith walk.  Through the highs and the lows, through sickness and health, through death and new life, Jesus is with me.  And I know that those ancestors that I never met, along with those that I knew including Lucas, are celebrating with Jesus right now.  What I love most about this picture is that James is reaching out.  You can see his hand in the foreground of the picture.  He is reaching out into the future.  With all of those Spiritual seeds in his generations, I can't wait to see where he goes!  

Jesus, thank you for your leading and guiding every day.  Holy Spirit, remind us that you have a plan and purpose for each of us that was our destiny before we were even in our mothers womb.  Give us all patience and peace when we feel lost, alone or hurting.  Thank you Jesus for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  Thank you for family and fun times.  Give us wisdom as we walk every day toward that destination that you have promised us.  Amen

The same message, just a different way

I just realized that, even though I had said that I was going to do whatever I could to make this Advent season more relaxed and calm. I seemed to have failed.  My last couple of weeks have been really full and I have even gotten home really late some nights.  I know that 9:00pm doesn't sound late, but at my age (and getting up at 5:30am), that IS really late.  Yet, as I was thinking about this blog, it became clear to me that my schedule these past weeks has been all about Advent and doing what is really important.  I have attended several Christmas gatherings, that all have brought me much joy and laughter.  So, in spite of the way my calendar might look, I have been more focused on the true meaning of Christmas. 

This week I spent Tuesday with Gwen and the kids since it was their home school co-op Christmas program.  That lovely young lady, Lia, in the picture above (who is almost as tall as me) sang with her choir.  I have to admit that sitting in the pew, hearing her sing brought me back to some of Gwen's early programs.  Let's face it, there is nothing better than Christmas songs, sung by children.  Earlier in the day, all of the kids were busy making Christmas cards for their co-op friends.  Ellie decided that they should make crayons to include in the cards.  So she worked on finding all of the broken crayons around the house, peeling the papers off and deciding which colors to mix together in the crayon mold.  She managed to make enough for all of her friends, as well as all of Anna and Zeke's friends.

Before long, Ellie decided that she also wanted to create beaded crosses for her friends, so Lia and I helped her sort out specific colors from large vats of beads.  Zeke and Anna worked had making cards for their friends.

And then Ellie decided that she also needed to color a picture for each of her friends.  

While this was going on, Lia decided to make cookies for all of her choir and her friends.  

As I watched these kids spending time on these hand made goodies for their friends, I was thinking about the love and care that they were putting into each project.  This wasn't some small trinket or toy from the store, by their parents.  Each gift had a hand made card and an item that had required some effort and thought.  That is what the season is supposed to be about.  It was a day well spent for me.  One that filled my soul with peace and calm and love and joy.  

One of the best early "Christmas" presents that I received last week, came flying into my life via a Facebook message.  I was invited to join a Facebook group, started by someone that I had never heard of until that day.  Turns out, we are related!  Not only that, he lives less than 5 miles from my house. Dave Anderson has been doing much research on his own family tree and decided that he would like to find out more about his "Johnson" relatives - all descendants of Axel and Betty Johnson - my grandparents.  It turns out that Dave's grandfather was a nephew of Axel Johnson and came from the same town in Sweden to settle in western Minnesota at the same time as my grandfather.  

Axel and Betty Johnson

Now I know that you might be thinking that this is a really distant relation, but for me, having any relative living so close is quite fun.  Not only that, he has been sent boxes and boxes of pictures and family documents from Sweden that he is trying to sort and identify.  Most were sent to Sweden by those families who all settled in western Minnesota before 1900.  I saw pictures of my aunts and uncles that I had never seen before.  I am so thankful that Dave is taking the time to sort through all of this stuff.  Not only is he sorting it, he is connecting us through pictures and stories.  He has a heart to keep these memories from being lost.  Thanks to this Facebook group, in the last week I have connected with several of my cousins.  I had a phone conversation with a cousin that I know I have never talked to as an adult.  During the phone call she referred to me as "Lynnie" and said that she only remembered me as a little girl.  That short call brought me so much joy.  This genealogy stuff is really interesting, the idea of seeing a family tree is wonderful, but it is the stories that are so important.  

I have shared on this blog that I believe that all of us have been given a unique destiny.  Part of this destiny, is a spiritual heritage that has played a part in who we are and the direction our lives have taken.  Over the last several years, I have become more and more convinced that this is a message that needs to be shared.  This blog has been part of that prompting by the Holy Spirit to share that message.  Additionally, I have begun writing a book with the central message that our prayers can and will impact our future generations. This fictional based on facts book is focused on my mother's parents.  I don't think it is an accident that I am now looking at my dad's parents and learning more about God's plan for our family line through them.  Getting to meet Dave and his wife was quite a gift for me.  Through Dave's work,  I heard the message from the Holy Spirit, loudly and clearly, that I must keep on sharing.  Yes, it was the same message I heard so long ago, just delivered in a different way.      

Yes, it is really amazing to look at my grandkids and think about their great great grandparents.  These loving, caring, young children carry a piece of Axel and Betty and Arnold and Nora in their spirits.  The spiritual heritage that was centered on their love for Jesus, has been sown into this distant generation.  There is so much hope in this message.  We can make a difference in the future as we pray for those who are yet to come.   Tonight I want anyone who reads this blog to know that you matter.  Not only for right now, but also for generations to come.  Don't let the stories from your family get lost or forgotten.  Make it a point to tell and retell those family stories.  Take lots of pictures and preserve those photos with journaling that tell the story. (A shout out for scrapbooking!)

 This is a great season to begin doing this.  As we tell and retell the Christmas story, let us all remember to share family memories.

Jesus, thank you so much for this season.  Holy Spirit, keep our hearts open to love and care for all those around us.  Give us courage to smile and talk to those we meet on the street.  Help us to keep Christmas memories alive in our family.  Thank you for photos and documents that help us know the past and appreciate our family heritage.  Thank you Jesus, for children and Christmas carols.  Amen 

    

A short life with a long Spiritual heritage....

 

On this really "normal" Saturday I've just been reflecting on my week.  I went back to last Saturday. and finding out that my new expected grandchild is a girl!  I am sure right now that you are wondering why the very grainy, bad picture above is even on this page.  So, here is the story of how Jesus spoke the name of this new precious little one.  Gwen and Tim had always planned on having four children.  As a matter of fact, Gwen had always announced that she would have "two girls, a boy and a girl" when she grew up.  It seems like somewhat of a stretch to imagine that a little child would know the make up of their future family.  But, in Gwen's case, it seems to have worked out.  Each of Gwen's children has a very special and meaningful name.  Names are extremely important to Gwen and Tim and they spent a great deal of time making the decision on the names of each of their children.   Lia - Aurelia Nora.  Nora was my Grandmother (my mom's mom that she never knew).  Ellie - Elliana Lyn Louise.  Ellie's middle names are for me and her other grandma.  Zeke - Ezekiel Timothy.  Timothy is for his father, and how he got the name Ezekiel is a LONG story for a later blog.  Earlier this spring Gwen told me that she and Tim had settled on a girls name, in the event that she actually had a girl for their fourth child.  The name is Annaleigh.  They would call her Anna.  Now our family tree is loaded with the name Anna.  It is certainly a family name.  But Gwen said that they could not come up with a middle name that made sense.  Then on May 17, 2013 - before Gwen even knew that she was pregnant, I had a dream.

 

I know that I have said those words more than one time on this blog.  But I frequently have dreams that contain a message or a word from Jesus.  The dream that night was very brief, but when I woke up I knew that there was a message in it!  I saw Gwen, very pregnant and she was standing holding a large photo in a frame.  The frame was facing towards me.  Gwen was smiling and the picture in the frame was the picture above.  While I was wondering exactly what the meaning was of this odd dream, I was thinking just that Gwen would indeed get pregnant and have a third girl.  Then when I arrived home, I went up to my scrapbook room and dug around until I actually found that photo.  And I stared at the names Ellen, Nora and Louise.  And then I knew that Ellen was the chosen middle name for Annaleigh.  Lia is Nora, Ellie is Louise and Anna would be Ellen.  WOW!  This is particularly interesting because Ellie's middle name is, in fact, after Tim's mother. Yet, she has the name Louise!  Isn't Jesus so amazing?  He can make sure that HE chooses our names and seems to work it all out!  So I texted Gwen that I thought I knew what Annaleigh's middle name was!  She wasn't even surprised when I told her the dream and the story. So I am anxious to meet Annaleigh Ellen.  Her name means Gracious Field & Light!   But I will be waiting until the end of January/early February to meet her! 

 

Over the last few years, I have been reminded over and over that there is a purpose for looking carefully at my ancestors. There is a spiritual heritage that has been sown into our generations and the seeds come forth in our life in many, many ways.  For me, my grandchildren are expressing the growth of branches of our spiritual family tree.  As I was looking at the picture tonight, I came across a letter that belonged to my mom.  It was written to her by her Aunt Effie.  Effie is the sister of Nora, Louise, and Ellen.  When I was in high school I begged my mom to write to her aunt to find out more about her mother.  For some reason she had never considered doing that.  So, she wrote the letter and we waited.  Finally we received a LONG and detailed letter that was actually written down by one of Effie's daughters.  By the time this was written, Effie was in her 80's and physically not well.  She actually died a year later.  But the information that she shared in that letter, has blessed my family in amazing ways.  I really believe that Lia has the middle name Nora partially because of that letter.  Effie gave us insights into who Nora was.  She was well liked, active in church and had a love at first sight experience with my grandfather.  She had an incredible soprano voice that was so powerful it could be heard several miles away (when she was singing in church on warm nights, with the doors of the church open). She chose to marry a man who was outside of the expected!  He was German and she was Norwegian.  As a matter of fact, when she met my grandfather's family, they spoke only German and she spoke only Norwegian!  What courage and strength she had.  She was very musical and played the piano and organ.  She cared so much for her family, that when her own mother died (when her sister Effie was only 9 years old), she brought Effie home and treated her as a daughter.  Effie told my mom in this letter, how much she was like her mother, Nora.  I remember that my mom said she had never heard that before.  Effie said that my mom looked very much like her mother.  As Gwen grew up, I began to see how much she was like me and my mom.  And really so much like Nora.  Anyone who has heard Gwen sing knows that she does NOT need a microphone to be heard! And she has so many of those same character traits that Nora had.  What a blessing that she used Nora's name.  Even though Nora's life was short, Jesus has used mightily, the deep spiritual heritage she sowed into her family. While she only lived 32 years, her impact on her generations continues on. 

 

Jesus, thank you for family.  Holy Spirit, it is amazing how you show us what is really important in our life.  I love how you remind us to look beyond our present circumstances and see things from your perspective.  Thank you for using this special dream to weave our new little granddaughter into the fabric of our family.  Father, you planned for families when you planned creation.  How wonderful and wise you are.  Help us all to see our generations as beautiful growing organisms.  And remind us that who we are and what we do, has an eternal impact. Thank you Jesus!  Amen

Two days to admit the truth....

Today I have been thinking about siblings.  This morning I was talking to Gwen on the phone and Ellie and Zeke were with her in the car.  Zeke had been at the doctor and was unfortunately diagnosed with "Hand, Foot and Mouth" disease.  (This is a viral infection that seems to run through preschool aged kids like wildfire.  No treatment, just a week of misery with blisters on the bottoms of the feet, palms of the hands and in the mouth).  Ellie was her usual care-giving self.  She was concerned about her brother!  Later in the day, I got to talk to Zeke on the phone and he told me about the "owies" in his mouth.  And then Ellie gave me the whole story. 

 

So it is interesting to think about Lia, Ellie and Zeke (and of course the baby on the way!) and wonder how they will relate to each other as adults.  I know that, as parents, we all wonder how our children will be together as adults.  And I am sure that many of us can bring to mind families who do not relate well as adults. 

 

 I am so thankful that Gwen and Doug actually like to spend time together.  This past weekend, the two families went camping together.  The four adults (one pregnant), three kids and three dogs.  And it rained.  But it warms my heart to know that they enjoy being together. I feel very blessed.

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TRUTH TELLING TIME.........  I actually wrote the above post last night, but I knew that I couldn't post it.  The truth is, I was thinking about my own siblings.  And tonight I can admit that I am very sad.  





 

This picture was taken the last time we were all together, on my mom's 90th birthday.  My sister Karen died two years later.  But what was on my mind last night, was how far apart our family has become.  We barely communicate and we are never together.  Last night I was remembering how many times my mom spoke about this to me.  She was very worried that after she died, we would all drift apart.  She felt that she was the only reason we had any contact.  Sadly, she was right.  Also, my mom was the "spiritual compass" of our family.  She was so solidly sure of her faith in Jesus.  She knew exactly where she would be when she died, and she was not afraid to get to heaven.  She had waited all her life, to meet her mother.  And in the last years, she talked at great length of her greatest desire to see ALL of her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren come to know Jesus.  She would say that she could not understand how people could get by without faith.  It was the total assurance she had that my sister Karen knew Jesus and would be waiting for her in heaven, that made the last years without her, bearable. Mom said, "It's not supposed to be this way - children should not die before their parents".  I know that she said years and years of prayers for all of us.  And I also know that Jesus will honor all of those prayers.  Yep, my mom left a Spiritual Heritage that will not be destroyed.  So, in spite of the miles that are between us, in spite of the many differences in our life styles, our beliefs, our hobbies, our jobs - we are still family.  And I commit today, to not forget my siblings when I pray. So, Roy, Jerry, Thoralee, Julie, Greg, Louisa, be on notice that I am praying for you!  Amy, Bill, Nancy, Juan, Susan, Jeff, Elise, Dale, Chris, Sara, Greg, Staci, Aaron - this includes you also!  Bennett, Taylor, Blake, Kirsten, Brandi, Nick, Josh, Zack, Fran, Dan, Emily, Noah, Austin, Chad, Angela, Brad, Riana, Bradyn, Paige, Logan - I'm praying for you also! 

 

Jesus, I pray that you would reach out right now and touch each one of my siblings and their families.  Holy Spirit, remind them all of Mom's great love for them.  Jesus, speak into their hearts and bring a new depth of understanding to each of them, of your great love for them.  Bring those that do not know you into your kingdom, Jesus and bless them.  Thank you Jesus, that you care about our families more than we do!  Your great desire is that all would believe.  Remind everyone reading this blog, that you are the creator of family and your desire is to bless us.  Amen

A time to remember......

You know how sometimes the strangest things make you remember something from the past - and usually there is no reason for the connection?  Well, I had one of those moments today.  I was really enjoying spending time with my little, almost 20 month old nanny boy.  We had been at the public library for story time.  The story time was wonderful.  Michael really entered into the event - sitting quietly on my lap for the stories, standing and singing and clapping with the songs, he followed all the directions.  It was just an amazing time.  I really love having the chance to spend time seeing the world through his eyes.  Shortly after returning home from the library, it was nap time.  I don't know what it was about this morning, but this picture just popped into my mind....

 

This picture was taken in the summer of 1983.  Doug and Gwen are sitting on the lap of "Great Grandma Baker" (Ken's maternal grandmother).   I think that there is something about Michael that reminded me of Doug in this picture. Doug was about 18 months old and Gwen was about 4 1/2.  I know that over and over on this blog I have talked about how important pictures are for me.  This is one of those "important" pictures. Grandma Baker was a very special person in Ken's life.  As a matter of fact, I remember when we were first dating, that Ken talked over and over about his Grandma.  For me this was really something.  Remember that I barely have any real memories of my grandparents.  And when I listened to Ken talk about Grandma Baker, it was like all the stories I had read about grandparents.  Grandma was there to be with Ken when his mom was in the hospital.  Often Ken would be sent to spend summers with his grandparents, who lived in Florida.  And it was Grandma Baker's recipes that Ken always asked me to make. (And that is still true today - Chicken Paprikash and Filled Raisin Cookies).  I remember when Ken's Grandpa Baker died in 1976, he expressed concern that Grandma would be around to see our kids.  I loved that she got to see and get to know both Gwen and Doug.  She said over and over how much Doug reminded her of Kenny.  Although this was only the second time she had ever been with Gwen and the first time with Doug, they both loved her.  And, once again, it is the generational shift that is on my mind. 

 

I am so thankful that I got to have Grandma Baker in my life.   However, tonight I am also sort of sad.  Grandma Baker did not have any religious background at all.  She never went to church.  Her family never went to church.  Apparently when her mother had come from Protestant Ireland, they were escaping from the pressure of religion and religious conflict.  And they walked away from the church.  And there was a very real void in her life.  When Grandpa died, I remember that it was very dark and cold and sad for her.  She did not have the promise and the assurance of eternal life. For all the great things that she did for her family, she did not leave a spiritual legacy.    All of this affirms to me, how important it is that I am able to share my faith with my children and grandchildren.  I am so thankful that Jesus is a part of my life and I have been able to pass on a strong spiritual heritage. 

 

Jesus, thank you for reminding me of special people and special times in our lives.  But Jesus, thank you for also reminding me of what is really important to pass on to our children and grandchildren.  Holy Spirit, bless all those grandparents and parents reading this blog.  Draw them into a deeper relationship with Jesus and strengthen their resolve to leave a wonderful spiritual legacy.  Jesus, thank you for Michael!  Pour out your blessings on him and his entire family.   Amen