Doesn't seem possible that it was 34 years ago.....

I can tell you exactly where I was 34 years ago today, and exactly what I was doing.  It was one of my first days back at my full time job and as a manager, I was meeting with all of my workers to catch up on all the new developments around the office.  I had missed VERY MUCH work over the previous 6 months - spending most of my time away from work in the hospital with Doug.  Just before his third birthday he had a kidney removed (February 15) and then both Gwen and Doug had gotten Chicken Pox.   Ken and I had used up most of our vacation time.  Thankfully, both of our employers had been gracious about the amount of time off we had needed to use.  The 19th was a Thursday that year and I had been off the beginning of the week to travel to Minnesota to see my Dad, who had been very sick for many months.  I remember getting off of the phone with my mom the week before, and she had simply said, "you need to come now to see Dad".  So I took off  MORE time from work.  I am so thankful that I did. I had a chance to see my dad and say good bye.  I got to hug my mom and see my siblings. It was necessary.  Three days later,  on this day, during that meeting, I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my dad had just died.  While it was not unexpected, nothing can really prepare you for that news.  I remember that I just immediately went into the mode of trying to figure out all the logistics to get my family to Minnesota to be with my mom. 

This picture was taken at the funeral home on the evening of the visitation.  Doug was just 3 years old and Gwen was just shy of 6 years old.  I was only 30.  At the time, I did not understand just how much I would miss my dad. My dad had a special relationship with Ken and I know that Ken also felt the loss of my dad.  Sadly, neither Gwen or Doug has many memories of my dad.  Our life was so caught up in Doug's health issues and my dad had so many health issues during those same years.  It was not uncommon for my mom and I to have phone conversations from one hospital in Illinois to another hospital in Minnesota.  So we really didn't see them enough to make memories with the kids.  

I am not sure whether it was Doug's illness or my dad's illness and death that was the trigger.  But I am so thankful that these events stirred in me a desire to draw closer to Jesus.  It was shortly after this  that I began going to a Prayer Group offered at my church.  And then I joined a Sunday morning Bible Study.   Because of those groups, my entire outlook changed and all of the Sunday school lessons and sermons I had heard, suddenly became real to me.  Jesus became real to me.  Within a few years, I found a way to only work during school hours so that I could spend more time with my kids.  I left a career that was cut-throat and actually stressful, and even got fired from the last position I had in the field, BECAUSE I was a Christian! (There is a long story with this that will need to be told in another future blog).  Following that, I became a church secretary.  Something I did for the next 19 years!  So it is safe to say, my dad's death had a profound effect on my life.  

It is fitting that today is Good Friday.  It is a day that is marked with the separation of God the Father from Jesus his Son.  And because of that sacrifice - that time of darkness, we all are no longer kept away from God.  What a great gift we were given at the cross.  We all can come to God because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.  Even when we so far away in our sins, Jesus died for us.  Because of Good Friday, I can celebrate knowing that I will see my dad again one day in heaven.  

It is so easy to tell people to realize the importance of family and making memories together.  But on a day like today, I can't help but urge you again to put aside anything that might be causing conflict in your family.  Life is so short!  Time is so valuable.  Don't miss out on today, because tomorrow is not promised to any one of us.   Make this Easter season a time of reconciliation.  A time of forgiveness and joy.  Hug someone close to you and tell them how important they are to you.  And celebrate that Jesus is alive!

Thank you Jesus for your great sacrifice on the cross for us.  Holy Spirit, come near to those who have doubts that God cares for them.  Bring the message of Easter alive to those who might be hearing it for the first time.  Give us all ears to hear you speaking to us Jesus.  And give us courage and boldness to break down the walls that might be keeping us from family and friends.  Thank you for being with us in times of illness, death and grief.  Amen

There must be a message in this..........

Is there a message in this?  We stayed in a very nice hotel in Washington, DC for the last 4 days.  It had 9 floors and was really more upscale than the hotels that Ken and I choose.  We were in room 519.  Today, we left Washington and drove to New Jersey where we are staying at a hotel convenient to the train station into New York City.  When we checked in this afternoon I almost fell over when the desk clerk handed me the key above.....room 519.  This hotel has 6 floors and is a different chain. Okay, there MUST be a message in this!  What are the odds that this would happen?????

In DC we had this view out the window........ the Washington Monument.

In New Jersey we have this view out the window.....the One World Trade Center.

Seems like this is not a coincident at all, but there is something that I need to learn/share/understand about 519!  Along the way today we decided to take a side trip to see the ocean and the second tallest lighthouse in the United States.  I'll share about that later, after I have uploaded my pictures!  Here is one snapshot from my phone.  

It may be the Atlantic, but Florida it is NOT!  The water temperature at this sight had just gone UP to 57 degrees from a very frigid 50 last week.  Not swimming weather at all.  

So, my first thought on 519..... what does Scripture say in chapter 5 verse 19?  I went to John first (my favorite book)  Jesus gave them this answer: "Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can only do what he sees the Father doing, because whatever the Father does, the Son does also."    Interesting..... I have often pondered this passage.  I love the thought that Jesus only did what he saw the Father doing.... somehow it makes his miracles seem even more amazing.  It certainly gives us something to think about!  I love to stop and realize that everything that Jesus does, is also being done by the Father.  Isn't that wonderful?  It's easy to kind of let our image of the Father be distant and well....regal.  It is quite another thing to consider each of the things that Jesus did as something that the Father was doing.  I love these verses that are "Trinity" verses - when you can see the action of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  So to be "Christlike" in our actions, means that we will be "Fatherlike" also!  WOW!  I know there is much more that Jesus is speaking to me about 519.... so more to come in the days ahead!

Tonight, when I am thinking about this "God-incident" of being in room 519 twice....I am just so thankful for Jesus and His love and care for us.  When I stood on that jetty this afternoon and looked out over the Atlantic, I could feel Jesus acting in the little things.  Any vacation that does not include the ocean is hard for me.  I really miss seeing the waves, smelling the salt air, feeling the spray... just the immense power of the ocean.  We did not plan on seeing the ocean.  It was a last minute side trip.  But it was all part of the plan that Jesus had for us.  That two hour adventure to the light house, changed our arrival time at the hotel....and the room that we got assigned to us.  Yes, it was a great day today.  

One more rather big thing about today for me..... I added two more states to my list of "VISITED STATES!"  We went through Delaware and I am in New Jersey!  So now I only have 11 states left to visit and Ken only has 7.   The four that we have in common (Alaska, Hawaii, Nevada and Maine) are on really opposite sides of the United States!  But I am very proud to be down to 11 states not visited. Thanks to Delaware and New Jersey!  There will be more vacations in the future!

Even on vacation Jesus is speaking and acting on our behalf.  We just need to remember to take the time to SEE and HEAR him.  My encouragement to you today, no matter what you are doing - at home or away -  stop and consider all the little ways that Jesus has been there for you.  I am sure that you will be as amazed as me!

Jesus, thank you for the time at the ocean today.  Holy Spirit, continue to speak to me about 519 and all that you have to say through this!  Thank you for giving me amazing views - even from a distance and the provision to visit these structures, up close!  Help us all to see your provision, even in the little things.  And help us to remember Jesus that you only did what you saw the Father doing!  Amen

End of our visit and more memories of my own dad.........

Here is a picture that I love, although it is kind of rough to see.  It is Ken and his dad in July of 1953.  I love this picture. Our visit today with dad was kind of sad.  I don't think he really knew that we were there.  We tried to engage him in several conversations, but he would get frustrated and not be able to finish his thought.  It was both good and bad that he didn't seem to care when we left.  It wasn't emotional since he just acted like it was no big deal.  I was glad that he was not upset.  That was good.  But it was very sad that he didn't really appreciate our leaving.  I am really thankful for this visit.  And I know that it was important for Ken.  

 

Today was Ken's sister Sue and his brother-in-law Wayne's 48th wedding anniversary.  We started talking about the date and I realized that today would have been my dad's 101st birthday. 

 I decided to include this picture of my dad.  I love this picture, it just captures my dad's personality.  And I can't get over how much Doug looks like my dad in this picture.  Yes, seeing Ken's dad at the end of his life, had made me miss my dad more.  My dad actually died in 1985 so I have been without him around for a long time - almost 30 years.  And I think this is why I have been already feeling the loss of Ken's dad - at least the way he always was.  

It's no doubt, dad's are an important part of our lives.  They provide us with our first real picture of our heavenly father.  It is often our dads who have the hardest time accepting that fact that we are no longer little children.  And dads give great hugs. 

Yes, it's been a hard couple of days emotionally.  But it has also been a few days of good times of fun and laughter, catching up with Ken's sisters and brother-in-laws.  I am really glad that we got to spend this time moving through this chapter for our family. 

Today there was a serious group of tropical storms that moved through this area.  There was thunder, lightening and wind as well as periods of hard rain.  The lights flickered and faltered and then finally went out all together.  We watched an alligator patrolling the lake behind Ken's sister's house, seemingly un-phased by the storm.  A flock of Ibis flew in and settled on the lake.  If it weren't for the storm, it would have been simply amazing.  We had a wonderful dinner and then, as we were leaving their home for the hotel, there was an amazing sunset.  The thunder was still rumbling but the power was restored.  I love that this was quite a picture of what is happening in our family right now.  This is a dark and stormy period at the end of dad's life.  It is a time of uncertainty and stress.  It seems pretty dark.  and a bit nervous right now.  The lights are flickering right now, and soon they will go out for dad.  But Ken and his sisters and all of us who love dad, will find that the lights will come back on for us.  There will be beauty and peace and joy when we move through this time.  And I love that I can picture both of my dad's, happy and at peace, filled with joy, celebrating in heaven.

Jesus, thank you for the assurance that we have that your care for us continues even when our life here ends.  Thank you for this time to come together with family as we all walk through this transition.  Father, there are many other families going through exactly the same thing that we are.   Please cover them all with your love and give them joy during this time of impending loss.  Holy Spirit, reach out and touch those facing death.  Surround them and draw them close with the assurance of your presence and promises.   Thank you for storms and sunsets after the passing of the clouds.  Amen

 

 

Jesus believes the plans for my life......

I know that some of you will think that I am always going to conferences when I tell you that I have been at another conference over the last two days!  But the reality is, that I rarely go to conferences and it is amazing that these two events happened back to back weekends and both driveable distance from my home.  As a matter of fact, this weeks conference really couldn't get any closer to me.  The hotel is the closest hotel to my house - about 2 miles.   So I am thankful for the location!  Both of these events featured amazing people.

 

 

Last night Chuck Pierce was the speaker and tonight was Barbara Yoder.  If you are not familiar with these people, look them up!  The Prophetic word from Chuck Pierce last night was an encouragement for the entire Chicagoland area to expect revival.  Tonight Barbara Yoder spoke about what brings revival.  And the answer is the presence of Jesus.  Barbara told her own testimony and I was struck by the memory of my own encounter with the real presence of Jesus.  When Barbara spoke about being alone in her bedroom, I was remembering being alone in my living room.  I hadn't really spoken to anyone about the growing hunger I was feeling to understand if all this "church" stuff was really the truth.  I had been reading many, many books about the Charismatic Renewal and I just wanted to know if this stuff was real.  So, all by myself, I simply asked the question that had been in my head for so long....... "Jesus, is this really true?"  And just as Barbara said happened to her, Jesus walked into my living room that night.  From that time on, I have KNOWN the very real presence of Jesus.  It is not a sort of thing.  I know the truth.  And that truth changed everything in my life. 

 

So, what does the title of this blog post have to do with this?  Well, earlier today I got one of those "God's word for you today" messages and it was short and simple.... "God believes in you".  So, I have been pondering that word today.  Then, tonight at the meeting, one of the filler slides had the title quote - "Jesus believes the plans for my life".  Given that message two different times today probably means that there is something in that message I need to listen to! 

 

So.... to recap

1) Expect a revival in Chicagoland!

2) All we need is an encounter with the presence Jesus!

3) All you have to do to experience an encounter with Jesus is ask!

4) Jesus believes in the plans he has for your life!

 

Jesus, Father, Holy Spirit, will you remind all of us that you believe in us.  You have a great and wonderful destiny for your people and you believe in that plan.  Thank you Holy Spirit for your working that brings us into the truth of the powerful presence of Jesus.  Thank you that you always come when we are seeking you.  Holy Spirit will you encourage anyone reading this blog who is fearful or apprehensive but really wants to experience your presence in a deeper way, to just ask!  Thank you for your great faithfulness!  Amen

Halloween from the past.....in the world, but not OF the world

This is one of my favorite pictures of my kids - mostly because it is so "natural" of them both.  I have to smile when I look at it.  I love the "junk" on the freezer behind Gwen and the kids art work hanging on the drapes.  Who would think that I would be missing those things?   And, when I look at Doug, all I can think is - on no, not that shirt!  He insisted on wearing that particular shirt, over and over and over - even after it was really small on him.  I don't know what it was about that shirt, but he loved it. 

These pumpkins were from a place that we STILL refer to as the "humble pumpkin patch".  Needless to say, it is no longer a farm since the suburban spread has taken over and the road is now lined with stores and houses.  But that spot was and will always be to us, the humble pumpkin patch.  Going to pick out pumpkins was a favorite event for me.  I think it is because I never did this as a child.  As a matter of fact, there are no pictures of me at Halloween and I really only remember trick or treating after I was in 1st Grade.  I remember one particular Halloween when we lived in Minnesota.  We went to about 3 houses - trudging through several inches of snow in our snowsuits.  And while I know that some people will cringe, my family did dress up and go trick or treating.  But I have to say that there were many years that we also had "Halloween Alternatives" at our church.  These were good times filled with great activities. 

You know, this is one of those times when there is a fine line between being IN the world and not OF the world.  I am happy that my children have chosen to become an influence to their peers and have remained friends with people that may not know Jesus.  Because, really, how else will these people ever get to know who Jesus is if they never get to experience his love through us?  I mean, really, didn't Jesus eat with all those "untouchable" people?  And go places that he was not supposed to (by religious teaching)?  So I am proud and very humbled by the grace that my children walk in, as they are out in the world.  And they are there because that is where Jesus has called them to be.  I am remembering that now as I am in a workplace that is filled with so many who do not know about Jesus.  I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit has promised to be that living water that flows out of us. 

So tonight, as I am passing out candy to the sweet young ones who come to my door, I will be greeting them with a smile and praying a blessing upon them. 

Jesus, thank you for your promises to us, to be with us and act through us.  Thank you for my children and the many, many lessons I have learned through them and the examples that they are to the world.  Holy Spirit, bless all of the children who have visited my home tonight.  Touch them with the knowledge of Jesus and the love of the Father.  Thank you for your great plan for the world, to show forth your glory!  Amen

Forty years is a long time......

Early this morning I realized that today would have been Ken's mother's 90th birthday.  And one of the reasons that this day/date is always in my memory is that it is a special day for Ken and I also!  Forty years ago today, we got officially engaged! 

I've been wearing this ring for 40 years!  You know there are just some things that make you feel very old.  And this is certainly one of those things.  This ring feels like it is a part of my body.  I can't imagine not having it on my finger. 

 

Now let me tell you a little about that day, forty years ago.  I did not know that it was Ken's mom's birthday.  We had not discussed it and I was certainly not thinking that there would be a problem when we stopped by their house to show them the ring and announce our engagement.  It was not a happy day.  Ken's mom was not happy about her own 50th birthday and she was not very happy about our engagement either.  I was totally surprised at this and really didn't understand what the big deal was about being 50!  My mom and dad never made a big deal out of their ages and they were both over 50 at the time.  It was my first experience with a very depressed family member.  And it was made more difficult because I was so happy! 



This is a picture of Ken's mom, taken at Christmas that same year.  As you can see, 50 was not old and she looks quite young.  And even though we had a somewhat rocky start to our relationship, I had many, many good times with her.  She was very artistic - in fact we have many of her paintings around our house (and so do Doug and Gwen).  She loved all kinds of crafts and I remember one year making Mr. and Mrs. Santa Dolls.  My mom had her set for years!  Because of her I learned to needlepoint - something I had never done.  She made an some amazing large needlepoint rug for our nursery -  that is the ABC's.  Ken's mom and Dad did a lot of international travel and they loved France. (Ken's dad speaks French very well.)  I was introduced to many new and different foods at their table - including artichokes and cold lettuce soup.  And, in the later years, she was especially attached to their dogs.  Around the time of this picture they had a little grey french poodle. Later they had several Bijon's, the last Bobbie, still lives with Ken's dad in Florida. Over the years, she had many hospitalizations for various problems, and years of smoking left her with serious COPD at the end of her life. She always said that she never wanted to move out of their home in Roselle, and she got her wish.  She died at home.  I wish that I had a wonderful story about her faith and belief in God. Unfortunately, she told me that she didn't believe that there was anything beyond this life and she didn't believe in God.  And this is the hardest thing.  Near the end of her life she desperately wanted to be reconciled to her sister, whom she hadn't spoken to in years.  They had fought over their mother's care and finally her estate.  Thankfully, there was a chance for the sisters to speak and finally, she had a measure of peace.  Over the years I tried to share Jesus with her.  And now I must remember that we are not responsible for others.  It is only our job to share and let the Holy Spirit do the work. 

 

But I want to encourage you now to be bold to share when you have the chance.  I passed up many opportunities to share from my heart and instead, waited till it was simply to late.  Is there someone in your family or neighborhood that you feel drawn toward?  Are you afraid of what they might think about you?  There is nothing more important than knowing that Jesus is the only way to the Father.  And that Jesus loves them.  So speak up and let those around you see and know the love of Jesus through you.  Let the Holy Spirit prompt you to share and care and express that love of Jesus. 

 

Jesus, thank you for reminding me about what is really important.  Thank you for the blessing of the last 40 years.  Father, it was your plan that brought Ken and I together.  Thank you for our families.  Jesus, surround Ken's dad with your peace and love. Holy Spirit, give courage and boldness to all of us as we consider sharing your message of the love of Jesus.  Give us the right words at the right moments.  Father you plan for us all is amazing.  Thank you for your great love.   Amen

 

 

 

 

 

A short life with a long Spiritual heritage....

 

On this really "normal" Saturday I've just been reflecting on my week.  I went back to last Saturday. and finding out that my new expected grandchild is a girl!  I am sure right now that you are wondering why the very grainy, bad picture above is even on this page.  So, here is the story of how Jesus spoke the name of this new precious little one.  Gwen and Tim had always planned on having four children.  As a matter of fact, Gwen had always announced that she would have "two girls, a boy and a girl" when she grew up.  It seems like somewhat of a stretch to imagine that a little child would know the make up of their future family.  But, in Gwen's case, it seems to have worked out.  Each of Gwen's children has a very special and meaningful name.  Names are extremely important to Gwen and Tim and they spent a great deal of time making the decision on the names of each of their children.   Lia - Aurelia Nora.  Nora was my Grandmother (my mom's mom that she never knew).  Ellie - Elliana Lyn Louise.  Ellie's middle names are for me and her other grandma.  Zeke - Ezekiel Timothy.  Timothy is for his father, and how he got the name Ezekiel is a LONG story for a later blog.  Earlier this spring Gwen told me that she and Tim had settled on a girls name, in the event that she actually had a girl for their fourth child.  The name is Annaleigh.  They would call her Anna.  Now our family tree is loaded with the name Anna.  It is certainly a family name.  But Gwen said that they could not come up with a middle name that made sense.  Then on May 17, 2013 - before Gwen even knew that she was pregnant, I had a dream.

 

I know that I have said those words more than one time on this blog.  But I frequently have dreams that contain a message or a word from Jesus.  The dream that night was very brief, but when I woke up I knew that there was a message in it!  I saw Gwen, very pregnant and she was standing holding a large photo in a frame.  The frame was facing towards me.  Gwen was smiling and the picture in the frame was the picture above.  While I was wondering exactly what the meaning was of this odd dream, I was thinking just that Gwen would indeed get pregnant and have a third girl.  Then when I arrived home, I went up to my scrapbook room and dug around until I actually found that photo.  And I stared at the names Ellen, Nora and Louise.  And then I knew that Ellen was the chosen middle name for Annaleigh.  Lia is Nora, Ellie is Louise and Anna would be Ellen.  WOW!  This is particularly interesting because Ellie's middle name is, in fact, after Tim's mother. Yet, she has the name Louise!  Isn't Jesus so amazing?  He can make sure that HE chooses our names and seems to work it all out!  So I texted Gwen that I thought I knew what Annaleigh's middle name was!  She wasn't even surprised when I told her the dream and the story. So I am anxious to meet Annaleigh Ellen.  Her name means Gracious Field & Light!   But I will be waiting until the end of January/early February to meet her! 

 

Over the last few years, I have been reminded over and over that there is a purpose for looking carefully at my ancestors. There is a spiritual heritage that has been sown into our generations and the seeds come forth in our life in many, many ways.  For me, my grandchildren are expressing the growth of branches of our spiritual family tree.  As I was looking at the picture tonight, I came across a letter that belonged to my mom.  It was written to her by her Aunt Effie.  Effie is the sister of Nora, Louise, and Ellen.  When I was in high school I begged my mom to write to her aunt to find out more about her mother.  For some reason she had never considered doing that.  So, she wrote the letter and we waited.  Finally we received a LONG and detailed letter that was actually written down by one of Effie's daughters.  By the time this was written, Effie was in her 80's and physically not well.  She actually died a year later.  But the information that she shared in that letter, has blessed my family in amazing ways.  I really believe that Lia has the middle name Nora partially because of that letter.  Effie gave us insights into who Nora was.  She was well liked, active in church and had a love at first sight experience with my grandfather.  She had an incredible soprano voice that was so powerful it could be heard several miles away (when she was singing in church on warm nights, with the doors of the church open). She chose to marry a man who was outside of the expected!  He was German and she was Norwegian.  As a matter of fact, when she met my grandfather's family, they spoke only German and she spoke only Norwegian!  What courage and strength she had.  She was very musical and played the piano and organ.  She cared so much for her family, that when her own mother died (when her sister Effie was only 9 years old), she brought Effie home and treated her as a daughter.  Effie told my mom in this letter, how much she was like her mother, Nora.  I remember that my mom said she had never heard that before.  Effie said that my mom looked very much like her mother.  As Gwen grew up, I began to see how much she was like me and my mom.  And really so much like Nora.  Anyone who has heard Gwen sing knows that she does NOT need a microphone to be heard! And she has so many of those same character traits that Nora had.  What a blessing that she used Nora's name.  Even though Nora's life was short, Jesus has used mightily, the deep spiritual heritage she sowed into her family. While she only lived 32 years, her impact on her generations continues on. 

 

Jesus, thank you for family.  Holy Spirit, it is amazing how you show us what is really important in our life.  I love how you remind us to look beyond our present circumstances and see things from your perspective.  Thank you for using this special dream to weave our new little granddaughter into the fabric of our family.  Father, you planned for families when you planned creation.  How wonderful and wise you are.  Help us all to see our generations as beautiful growing organisms.  And remind us that who we are and what we do, has an eternal impact. Thank you Jesus!  Amen

More to the story..........

Starting off today's post with a correction!  The Disney Junior "short" is called Fuzzy Friends!  And here is a screen shot to give you a better idea of what it looks like!

Moving on......So I knew that there might be more to the vision I had about the five fold ministry.  And I was correct!  Last night I had a dream.  In the dream there were five persons (I could not tell if they were male or female) standing shoulder to shoulder.  The tallest person in the middle was wearing a shirt that said "APOSTLE"!   I was glad that there was some identification because I was wondering (even in my dream) who these five people were!  Then just as quickly these five figures, once again, became the fingers on a hand.  The order in the dream was pinkie finger - evangelist, ring finger - pastor, middle finger - apostle, pointer finger - teacher and thumb - prophet.   (As an aside to Ken, it looked like these titles were written in Sharpie on each finger!)  In my dream as I was considering this vision, I saw a hand with just a pinkie finger.  And there wasn't much that it could accomplish without the other fingers.  And then, in order I saw a hand with only one finger.  The thumb had the most success alone, but even that was minimal.  Then, just as suddenly, I saw those same five persons standing apart.  There were large spaces between them and they were not looking at each other. 

When I woke from this dream I was thinking about how there is often separation between the very prominent, well known people in the Christian world. With all of the unrest and turmoil and shaking in the world, we need to draw closer to one another and support each other.  And more importantly, we should be LISTENING to each other.  Sometimes it seems like some ministry leaders get so involved in their own current revelations that they forget to listen to what others are saying.  I truly believe that it is TOGETHER that we have the whole message for today. 

So this morning I was meditating on this dream.  The apostle was the most prominent of the persons in the dream.  But even though it was the most visible, tallest, biggest - when they were standing alone, they couldn't do very much. The evangelist as the pinkie is the one with the least "protection".  They are out there on the front lines, making themselves vulnerable.  The pastor as the ring finger - known to be special because it is called the "heart" finger (a direct connection to the heart) - yes, pastors are the caring/feeling part of the 5 fold ministry.  The pointer finger as the teacher.  Yes, the teachers point the way to the truth.  And then the prophet as the thumb.  The thumb is the helper and the empowerer of the hand.  Each of the other fingers can function alone IF there is a thumb as a helper.  And each of the other parts of the 5 fold can function better if there is a prophet standing with them.  This is because the prophet brings accountability and keeps each of the other persons in line with the Lord. 

After thinking about this dream and the results of my meditation on the dream, I am wondering what Jesus is really saying to me about this!  There are many, many books and articles written about the five fold ministries, by people much more knowledgeable than I.  But going back to yesterday's blog, I am understanding that this message is really for ALL of us.  Because it is our responsibility to encourage those that we know who are Pastors and Evangelists and Teachers and Apostles and Prophets to surround themselves with the others from this group, established in the Bible.  I believe this is even more important that yesterday's message that we need to support the five fold ministers among us.  All of us in the "other" hand, need to carry this message to those who most need to hear it! 

Jesus, I don't really understand why you are speaking this to me today, but I am sure that you have a plan and purpose for this word going forth.  Father, I pray that you would encourage those operating in the positions of the five fold ministry to surround themselves with your planned support system.  Holy Spirit, thank you for giving me insight into my dream and continued revelation on this subject.  Would you give us all courage and boldness to share this message with those in our sphere of influence.  Give us the correct words and the perfect timing to share and encourage the pastors, prophets, evangelists, apostles, and teachers around us.  Amen

Flavors and Colors - Again!

Last night I had another amazing night of worship and a wonderful teaching.  I just love the little "zingers" that are sometimes, better than the entire evening!  Last night was this.............

Did you know that everyone has a unique "Voice Print" that is just as individual as your fingerprints? It's true. Even when people "impersonate" someone else, it is never an exact duplicate of the voice.  Imagine that - a voice print!  And what that means is that God is listening for our exact voice when we worship.  There is a spot in the father's heart that can only be filled by YOUR voice!  It doesn't matter how your worship sounds to you.  The important thing is how it fits into the heart of God.  If one person doesn't "sing", the choir is missing a voice.  Your very distinct voice is identifiable to the Father, to Jesus and to the Holy Spirit.  Based on this revelation, there is no excuse for ANYONE sitting and not worshipping.  No matter WHAT your voice sounds like to you, remember that God is waiting for your exact voice to fill that spot in his heart.  I will be singing more loudly from now on. 

And if that was not enough to "chew on", then the speaker, Eva Dooley, began to teach.  She is a marvelous Greek woman who speaks with clarity.  She was teaching on how we need to be changed in order for us to be world changers.  After looking at familiar scriptures -  Matthew 5:13-16 - paraphrased we are the salt and the light of the world, she dropped this bomb into my spirit.  When looking at different translations and the Greek for these passages, what it says to us is this.
WE ARE THE FLAVOR OF GOD AND THE COLORS OF GOD TO THE WORLD! I was just stunned.  Remember my blog about last Sunday - Taste the Rainbow?  Yep, the flavor and the colors of God.  There was much more that Eva shared.  I listened and took notes, but part of me was stuck back at this point. Do I think that Jesus is really trying to say something to me about this?  YES!  Do I really understand the depth of what he is saying? NO!  But, I am beginning to understand that the concept of affecting my environment is much, much more than I had imagined.  Think about this.  Every believer carries the flavor and the colors of God.  That means that even in the darkest and coldest places in the world, when one person is there who knows Jesus and is filled with the Holy Spirit, the atmosphere is changed.  The very taste and flavor of Jesus is there.  And all the colors of who he is, are being poured out.  Nothing can stay the same when a believer is present.  You know, the idea of being a world changer sounds much more possible when you begin to get this concept into your spirit. 

What can I say? I will be taking some more time to really let this settle into my spirit.  But I am celebrating that Jesus is speaking something very important - not only to me but to each one of you also.  First of all SING OUT!  He loves you and he loves to hear your voice!  Remember - that voice that no one else in the world has.  Secondly, just think about that salt and light. Read those verses and meditate on them.  See what Jesus and the Holy Spirit speak to you about these verses.  I know that there is much, much more and we have just scratched the surface.

You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
                                             Matthew 5:13-16

Jesus, thank you so much for your revelations.  Holy Spirit, thank you for drawing me to these meetings that have been such a blessing.  Jesus, continue to bring more clarity to us as we meditate on your words about this.   Father, thank you for your great plan that included us being your flavor and your colors to the world.  You are an amazing and wonderful God!   Amen

Didn't realize I needed an Oasis!

I've had quite a couple of days.  The weather has taken a wonderful turn to autumn coolness.  For me, however, no central air conditioning means a VERY stuffy head and sinus pain like you would not believe.  Even my hair hurts.  Because this is all allergy caused, I am sure that in a short while, I will be celebrating the first frost.  And I mean REAL heavy frost.  I do not have to check the weather forecast to know when the frost has come.  My head tells me! 

Okay - here comes some more truth-telling. To go along with my general fogginess of thinking, today I am feeling a mixture of several emotions, all of which are directed at me, myself and I.  I have had  very clear revelation of some opportunities that I completely missed out on.  And I sort of feel like one of the people standing by the side of the road, watching that very fast moving "super sonic highway".  And today, I am not ON that moving walkway.  I feel stuck on the side. 

Last night I experienced some amazing worship.  And when you are in a place where everyone around you is looking for the heavens to open up, you can be assured that they will open.  Here is a sampling of some of the things that we were singing and I was "hearing" very clearly...

• I will remind myself of all you've done. Your love came down and rescued me.
• I sing out and that reminds my soul that I am yours.
• I am drinking it in as one who has been in a desert and I've finally hit an oasis.  It is oasis of the  river of living water.
• It is an oasis of glory and peace and joy. 
• As certain as the sunrise, as jarring as an earthquake, as cleansing as the rain is His grace.
• When you have tried everything in your own strength and failed, look up, listen and behold. 
• I will remind myself of all you've done. 

So, I am being very thankful today.  In spite of my nose and my head.  In spite of the feelings of "stuckness".  I am thankful for the oasis of the presence of the Lord in the desert of my last couple of days (and the last couple of years).  I will remind myself of all that Jesus has done for me.  I will sing of His mercies and goodness and grace.  And I will celebrate the presence of the Holy Spirit.  And I will celebrate the change of seasons. 

Jesus, thank you for understanding that we would need the change of seasons to remind us that you are ALWAYS  on the move!  Holy Spirit, thank you for drawing me to exactly the right place at the right time so that I can hear your message.  You are a great and amazing God that even planned those very real Oasis' in the middle of the deserts. so that we would know there was a place of rest and refreshment in the middle of dry and dark times.  Father, direct the many out there who feel as if they are stuck and in that dry place, to the oasis of your flowing living waters.  Thank you so much for all of the people  you have placed in my life.  Bless them mightily today!  Amen

Becoming like a little child....

Humor me, once again, as I talk about my upcoming birthday.  This week I have been thinking so much about my mom.  I know that it seems odd that she would be on my mind since she has been gone for 2 1/2 years.  But, I guess around your birthday, it is hard to not think about your mother!  I know that I posted a picture of me, just born, with my mom.  That picture was taken in the hospital - long before they were taking pictures of newborns.  Apparently the local paper in the small town we lived in decided to take these pictures.  Most people are not so fortunate to have a picture like this from 1954.  My mom always liked that picture.  I didn't realize, until I was much older, that part of the reason that picture was so special to her was because she didn't have a picture of her with HER mother.  But I digress........ 

 

This is what I have been thinking about this week..... The photo above.  I realized that my mom was exactly the age I am now at the time of my wedding.  As a matter of fact, she had just celebrated her 59th birthday 3 days before my wedding.   So I have been looking at the photo and thinking about how much older I look than she did.  I have also been thinking about that generational shift thing.  I absolutely adore being a grandma.  It is really such a wonderful part of life.  You get to experience the joy and wonder of little children without the sleepless nights and the toddler tantrums.  My grand kids have filled my life with so much happiness and I feel so blessed to have them.  The odd thing is that I was always upset that my mom and dad were "Grandma Nona and Grandpa Harry" for almost as long as I can remember.  I have very clear memories of hanging over the edge of a baby basket looking at my new niece Amy.   And I did not want my mom to be a Grandma!  She was my MOM!  Isn't that silly?  This is especially silly since my mom loved her role as Grandma Nona.  She had a "Grandma bracelet" that was one of her most prized possessions.  I remember when my sister Karen gave her that bracelet for Christmas the year my niece was born.  She wore that bracelet all the time. 

 

The last Christmas gift that she gave to her grandchildren was to return to each of them, their piece of this bracelet.  This was such an important thing to her that she wanted to give it back to them.

 

My mom never felt old.  She was always saying that she wasn't that old.  I remember her baking cookies to take around her apartment to the "old people" - when she was over 90!  I was so blessed to live most of my life with her as a grandma, as well as my mom.  I learned about being a grandma from one of the best. 

 

Isn't it wonderful how Yahweh's plan was always for us to be in families?  I just marvel at the wonder of this great plan and the continuity of the generations.  Jesus knew that it would be important for us to understand the shifting as our places change in the family tree.  I believe that grandchildren provide a special link for grandparents back to that wonderful "child-like" faith.  Let's face it.  Life is not always wonderful when you are in your later years.  There are financial concerns, health concerns, fears of the future, worries about where to live and even, when or if you should retire.  I think Jesus knew that it would be good for us to have grandchildren around so that we could experience life again, through their eyes.  I am convinced that when Jesus told his disciples that they had to become as little children to enter the kingdom, he was talking about those things.  He knew that his disciples were concerned about their daily tasks.   They worried about how to feed the people following them around, and they worried for Jesus.  So, he restated part of the master plan of his father.  Become like children. 

 

So, tonight on the eve of my birthday, I am going to celebrate my children and grandchildren.  And thank Jesus for the gift they are to me.  So that I can be reminded that I need to listen and learn and live in that childlike faith and trust.  And not fret or worry about anything - including my age. 

 

Jesus, thank you for reminding me that your plan is for us to enjoy each stage of our life and to live everyday for you and your Kingdom.  Help all of us to be able to celebrate your life in us, no matter what age we are!  Thank you for my mom and the wonderful mom and grandma and great grandma that she was.  What a blessing to be able to learn so much from her example.  Jesus, let me be an example like that for my kids and grand kids and for future generations.  Thank you for reminding me and everyone reading this blog, to become like little children.  Amen

 





 

The Glue and the Clamps.....

Tonight I am thinking about assembling and arranging!  Ken and I just finished putting together a shelf unit for my upstairs hallway.  This was one of those, you know, assemble it yourself things.  Of course, we started this on Sunday and it is now Wednesday, so you know it was not a smooth project!  And the reason for the delay was all my fault.  I lifted the shelf unit when it was not all the way together and ripped it apart.  Thankfully, Ken knew just how to fix this "oops" on my part.  He went to the garage and found the wood glue and the giant clamp things and after a day or two of drying, everything was together!  Tonight we finished up the project and it is now in place.  And I have filled it with my completed scrapbooks.  I have LOTS of completed books.  They have been shoved into a cabinet and not seen very often.  Now they are in view and I intend to look at them often. 

Along with this assembly project, Jesus has been speaking to me about the "work" he is doing in my life right now.  I am so glad that when I make those "oops" mistakes in my life, Jesus can fix it up, in much the same way that Ken fixed that shelf.  Jesus comes and applies the glue of the Holy Spirit.  The presence and working of the Holy Spirit fills in all those cracks and holes left by the things that sometimes get ripped out of our lives.  The broken heart, the times there are breaks in our family tree, the hurts and sorrows caused by our own bad decisions or the actions of others.  And then Jesus himself wraps his loving arms around us and "clamps" us to him so that we can heal.  Isn't that amazing?  I love how Jesus shows me things like this, even in the midst of a less than wonderful assembly project.  A little bit ago I mentioned that I have started to hear a bit of an answer to a problem that has been with me for over a year.  I love that now I can think about this situation and I imagine that wonderful "glue" of the Holy Spirit and feel those arms of Jesus clamped around me.  Suddenly, that difficult problem doesn't seem so impossible.  I know that the Father is answering my prayers and with Jesus and the Holy Spirit - NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! 

So today, I am thankful for the assembly project that is now completed and holding my precious scrapbooks. I am also, thankful for Ken and his ability to get the job done - in spite of me!  And I am thankful for the image that I will carry with me of the glue and the clamps.  Is there anything better? 

Jesus, thank you for showing me how you go about taking care of us in the midst of the "oops" things in our life.  Holy Spirit, I love how you speak to us in the smallest things and bring revelation to us.  Jesus, I ask that you remind those reading this today, that you are the master fixer for us.  You take all of our junk away and then fix us up through the power of the Holy Spirit and your loving arms.  And there is nothing that is impossible for you! Thank you, thank you, thank you.   Amen