National Sibling Day.....

I have seen so many posts today about National Sibling Day and I was trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to share about my siblings!  I decided to share this photo since it clearly shows the wide age spacing of my siblings.  This was Christmas 1955 and I am that little 15 month old sitting on the stool.  This photo was also taken at a house that the rest of my siblings would say was their "childhood" home.  I, on the other hand, really don't have any memories of this house since we moved when I was just 3 years old.  The house, in Watertown, South Dakota, is now gone and the lot is the current Post Office.   I never got to visit that house to try to recall memories, but I am thankful for the many stories shared by my mom and siblings.  So I feel as if I "know" that house. 

If I had to list first "childhood memories" of my siblings it might look something like this....

Karen - my first real memories of Karen are preparing for her wedding.  I was in Kindergarten and it seemed very exciting to me.  She had moved back home from college and she had lots of really amazing jewelry. 

Jerry -  my first memory of Jerry is his Ham radio set up in the basement of our home when I was 6 years old. He had post cards around a world map from people he had talked to all over the world. 

Julie -  I remember her "room" in an upstairs hallway when I was 4 years old.  She had pictures of horses all over the wall.  And she had a special doll that I was not allowed to touch!

Greg -  He was a cub scout and my mom was the pack leader.  I went with on many trips to the hobby store and also on the many field trips they took.  I remember the blue and gold banquet when I was 4.

I was thinking about the last time that we spent any time together. It was in 2005....

and it was for mom's 90th birthday.  It is really a shame, that as adults we did not purpose to spend more time together.  I often only saw my siblings while visiting my mom!  Being busy with our own families, living far away from each other seem like just silly excuses now.  Sadly, my sister Karen died in 2007.   And truthfully, I haven't seen my brother Greg since mom's funeral in 2011 and I last saw Jerry in 2011 at Doug and Susie's wedding. I also saw my sister Karen's husband, Roy, at their wedding.   I saw Julie at the wedding of one of her granddaughters in 2015.  So there you have it.... weddings and funerals.  The only time that we have managed to get together. 

I am always kind of envious when I hear my friends talk about being together with their siblings.  As a matter of fact, one of my good friends and her sister are part of my small group!  It would be nice to be able to have an impromptu gathering that included my siblings.  I am most sad that my siblings really don't know my children or grandchildren very well.  They have only spent a limited amount of time with them.  And it makes me sad to think that Lia and Ellie can not learn how to make Lefse from Karen.  Or that Doug never got to talk with Jerry about Ham radio. (Doug actually had his Ham license when he was in middle school!)  If Julie lived closer, she might be able to help Ellie learn how to sew.  Zeke has the potential to be some kind of engineer and I know he would love talking with Greg and Jerry or Roy.   And I am sad that I never had the chance to be really close with any of my nieces (no nephews- Doug was the only Grandson) and their children.  Certainly a hazard of the times.

So when people ask me if I am "close" with my siblings, I have to say no.... not really.  I am glad that Julie and I keep in touch via facebook and phone.  But again, I miss having her just across town. Or even in the same state!   I am feeling  blessed that I spent many hours listening to my mom share her stories of each of my siblings. I am also thankful that I did spend some time with each of them as an adult. 

So on National Sibling Day, I am feeling blessed to be a part of the family that God gave me.  While my situation may seem very different than yours, I know that there is a plan and purpose for the exact family that I have.  While I may not have a traditionally close relationship with my siblings, I know that there is a common heritage in each of us.  Our lives may look very different, we may live in different states and have very different likes and dislikes, but we are connected to each other.  Our shared ancestry and the heritage and spiritual legacy that has been sown into our family, continue into the future. 

Jesus, thank you for my siblings and my mom and dad.  You had a plan for me that included the exact family I am in.  Holy Spirit, bring comfort to anyone that is missing their siblings.  Give us all those reminders to connect or reconnect with anyone that is distant from us.  Jesus help us to remember that each day may be our last chance to make amends or share love with someone.  Your plan was always for families to be an expression of your love for us.  Thank you for that great love.  Amen

Blending family traditions during Christmas...

Last night was one of my favorite events of the Christmas Season.  Gwen's church has a holiday concert that features the youth of their church performing carols and songs.  It was questionable if the event was going to happen since we were under a "Winter Weather Advisory" and also a "Wind Chill Advisory".  But, at the last minute, they decided to go ahead with the event.  Ken and I decided to brave the 40 mile drive, even with the anticipated snow and cold.  It was a wonderful time of enjoying the grandchildren and getting to hear Gwen sing!  There was a sing along, so I got to sing some of my favorite carols.   And there was amazing food to eat!  It was so worth the two and half hour drive home!  There was snow and blowing and lots of slow moving cars - and they hadn't plowed very much.  We got home and safely tucked in before the very cold arrived during the night. I would not have missed this concert for anything - it is a tradition!

I am so thankful that Gwen and Tim include us in these events.  Sadly some of my friends don't have close relationships with their adult children and miss out on these wonderful times of celebration.  I was thinking about this today as I made Ken's very favorite Christmas treat....Grandma's Filled Raisin Cookies.  This particular cookie was a staple of Ken's childhood, made by his Grandma Baker.  She knew just how much Ken liked these cookies and always made them for him.  As I was rolling out the dough today, I noticed my trusty wooden rolling pin.

This is a small, wooden rolling pin that I have had my entire life.  It actually belonged to my mom and my dad made this.  I was struck with the joining of our two families in this cookie baking event.  My dad's wooden rolling pin, rolling out the dough for Ken's Grandma's cookies.  I just love the symbolism of this.  Two families with very different traditions, yet somehow Ken and I have managed to meld them together into our own unique set of traditions.  And now Gwen and Doug are melding that set of traditions with another families and are establishing their own, new and wonderful traditions.  I love sitting back and watching which things Gwen and Doug find valuable enough to blend together in their new family units.  Gwen and Tim and the kids spent an entire day making candy to give away as Christmas presents.  Gwen mentioned that she remembers doing this activity for over 30 years!  Yes, I have many fond memories of our kitchen table piled high with candy as we divided it up for gifts for teachers, friends and co-workers.  And then yesterday Doug texted me with a question about the sugar cookies I always make.  So it seems that Doug and Susie are keeping that tradition alive in their own new set of traditions.  

Christmas is a time for blending and sharing and traditions and love.  Unfortunately, sometimes our expectations can get in the way of all of that.  It is awfully easy to expect to have events and/or activities at a certain time or in a certain place with certain people.  I learned a valuable lesson many years ago when Ken and I didn't have any family living close by.  We were forced to come up with a whole new set of traditions that didn't include being with our families.  We hung on to some things (like those wonderful raisin cookies), but we shifted our focus.  Instead of bemoaning the lack of family around us, we celebrated with our church family.  We always went to both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services.  We made an entire day out of driving around and looking at Christmas lights.  We had friends who also didn't have family close by.  So we celebrated Jesus' Birthday with our own party (held in the afternoon/evening of Christmas day).  There was always laughter, fun and food at these gatherings.   When our kids reached that age when there was a "significant other" in their life, we willingly let them go to spend time with that new family.  What fun it was to increase our family size this way!  And now we are blessed with grandchildren.  Recently, while talking with a friend, she was surprised to learn that Ken and I are alone on Christmas Day.  She seemed to think that this was a horrible, terrible thing.  But it is just all part of that blending!  We have so many times when our family is all together.  And those are important and wonderful times.  We will all be together this year, on Christmas Eve.  Some years it is on a totally different day.  What matters is that we are together.  I love having Christmas Day to reflect on the meaning of the holiday.  I love listening to the story, told each year, yet always so amazing.  After all the blending of our family traditions, I love that Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie want to establish their own ways.  And for them, it means being at home, celebrating Christmas Day with their own family units

Something wonderful happens to ingredients when you blend them together.  They take on the flavors and consistency of each other.  The end result is usually an amazing brand new thing.  There is no question that each ingredient is very much a part of the creation. And one missing ingredient can ruin a finished product.  It is an exciting thing to blend together family traditions and watch what the finished products look like. 

 One thing is certain.   Family struggles at the holiday over who will be coming and where you will meet and even what you will eat and what day and time you will be together or ending up being alone on a day that is really just another day on the calendar, fill the hearts and minds of so many.  But if you just shift your focus and think about the mixing and blending ingredients, and then remember that the love and the sharing are what really matter.  All of those struggles don't matter much and can't change the message of Christmas.  Jesus came for all of us.  Whether we have family around us or not.  Whether we keep all of our traditions from the past, or come up with new ways and new ideas.  Jesus came to earth as a baby to share His great love with the world.  It is that amazing love that helps all of those ingredients blend together into a wonderful new thing.  Jesus is the reason for the season and keeping that as the most important ingredient in your family will bring peace and harmony and happiness.   Happy Blending!

Jesus, thank you for the reminder that all of the things that feel so important in our life are really small compared to your great sacrifice to come to earth for us!  Thank you that with your love and peace in our hearts we can adapt and change our traditions, blending them together into new and wonderful ways to celebrate your birth.  Holy Spirit, comfort those that are lonely or hurting this Christmas.  Help us all to look out for the person who might need a hug or a smile.   Thank you for Christmas.  Amen 

A different kind of mission trip...............

You might have noticed that I have been silent for the last week or so.  The reason is that I have been on a different kind of mission trip.  I spent these days being with Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna while Gwen and Tim traveled with the youth from their church on a mission trip.  It was quite a week for me.  It has been a long time since I spent this many days taking care of kids, all on my own.  As a matter of fact, I have NEVER taken care of four kids for an entire week.  I came away from this week not only knowing the kids better, but also learning some new things about myself, about life and about Jesus.  I will be blogging about these things in the next few weeks.  Honestly I am still trying to digest all that I learned!  And I am resting!  Those four kids did keep me on my toes and going for the entire week.  I loved every minute of it!  Okay, with total truth telling, I did not like the 20 minutes or so when Anna threw some temper tantrums (very typical for a 2 year old) when mommy and daddy did not come home when she wanted them.  No, I did not like the pitiful screaming and crying and kicking and the running away from me and feeling so totally helpless to do anything to help Anna feel better.  Aside from those few minutes, I just loved my time with these little sweeties.  Just before Gwen and Tim got home last night, Anna climbed up on my lap, gave me big hugs and cuddles.  I told her I was going to be leaving to go home as soon as her mommy and daddy got home.  She grabbed my face and said "No Grama, no home!"  What a sweet little one she is.

I confess, I was quite jealous to see Gwen and Tim go off on this trip.  I have been on several trips and these have always been life changing for me.  When you leave your home and step out of your comfort zone, Jesus always shows up.  Some of the most powerful points of direction and correction have come from these trips.  I also know the warfare that can accompany these trips, so I felt on "prayer alert" for this mission team.  Somewhere around the fourth hour I was with the kids, I realized how much I needed prayer support for my "mission" trip.  I am so thankful that I could call on my small group to stand with me during this week with the kids.  By the end of the first day, I knew that this was probably the most important mission trip I had ever been on.  Keeping Gwen and Tim's house running and the kids happy and safe, while covering them in prayer, was exactly what Jesus wanted me to be doing.  I felt His presence every day and in so many ways.  Having four children is not easy!  There is a lot of laundry. LOTS of laundry.   There are hungry mouths waiting to eat (and have snacks).  There are so many things that these small hands just can not do by themselves.   I was so thankful that Gwen and Tim have done an amazing job of fostering independence in their kids.  But the cupboards are just to high to reach the bowls.  The milk is to full to pour.  Well, you get the idea.  On the first evening, after all the kids were tucked into bed, I opened up my journal to write a few sentences.  As I sat there with pen in hand, just thanking Jesus for the day, praying for Gwen and Tim and their team, one thought appeared on my paper..... THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MISSION FIELD!   Family - children - home..... this is the mission field that matters most to Jesus.  The seeds that are being sown into these children will be watered and grow deep roots.  And the world will be impacted by them.  The thing about this "family" mission trip is that it requires perseverance.  It is a day after day, week after week, twenty four-seven trip.  There are messes and sickness and yes, temper tantrums.  But then there are those wonderful cuddles and hugs.  Those sweet goodnight prayers.  And the smiles and laughter.  What we all have to do is REALIZE that family IS a MISSION!  We should approach family like we do a mission trip.  We should ask for prayer from those close to us.  Every day should begin asking Jesus for direction for the specific activities for the family.  And we should make the most of every opportunity that presents itself to shower the love of Jesus over those around us.

Most importantly, we need to support all of these young families.  The dads are working so many hours, just to provide. And most dads are doing their share of caring for the children and home also.  Many of the moms work outside of the home and then have the children and all their activities on top of that.  This season of the BIG mission trip is seemingly endless and so very heavy.  Most people have heard the quote "It takes a village to raise a child".  I think I would like to change that a little bit and say "It takes the support of the WHOLE body of Christ to carry out the MISSION of the family".

After trying to fill the very large shoes of Gwen and Tim, I am thankful and happy to return to just being Grandma Lyn.  On the first day of filling in, I gained a new perspective about mission trips. It was a privilege and honor to be trusted with these wonderful children.   It was just the start of an amazing different kind of mission trip!

Jesus, thank you for speaking to us and showing us exactly what we need.  Thank you for children and family and time out of our comfort zones.  Holy Spirit, help us all to be more aware of those around us who are in the thick of raising children.  Jesus thank you for your plan that included families.  Thank you especially for children and grandchildren.  Amen

Heirs of the Kingdom........

Today I was doing my daily bible reading and I was in Galatians 4.  These verses speak about our adoption as children of God when we accept Jesus as our Saviour.  Suddenly I was thinking about Ken.  This cute picture above labeled "Jimmy Joe  June 9, 1952" is actually the first picture we have of Ken.  Ken was born on May 14, 1952 and he was left in the hospital to be placed for adoption.  The nurses gave him the name James Joseph - Jimmy Joe for short.  He was small and underweight and needed to stay in the hospital to gain weight and strength.  This picture was taken on June 9, 1952 and given to Ken's mom and dad to "see if they might want to adopt this baby".  Of course, they wanted this little baby boy.  There is a long story about why his mom and dad wanted to adopt a baby in 1952, but the short version is that they had one child (Ken's sister) and then suffered many, many pregnancy losses over the next 7 years.  So this was a most welcome call for them.  They happily brought this baby home and named him Kenneth Alan.  Just this last year in talking with Ken's dad, we heard a very different reason why the name Kenneth was chosen!  Ken's mom had always said that he was named after a favorite cousin of hers.  However, Ken's dad insists that HE chose the name after a friend from college.  So we don't really know why this name was given to him. 

Here is the first family picture, the day that they brought Ken home.  His sister is 7 1/2 years old. Although Ken was about 6 weeks old, he really looks like a newborn. He has always known that he was adopted.  After Ken and I were together, his mom told me many times that she was afraid that Ken would search for and find his birth mother.  She was sure that Ken would not want to be in their family if that happened.  Surprisingly, Ken has never ever wanted to search for or find out anything about his birth parents.  When he turned 21 it became possible for him to get information regarding his adoption, but he is simply not interested in this search.  Quite honestly, with Ken now being 61 years old, the chances are pretty good that his birth parents are dead. 

But truth telling here - I have always been curious about his birth parents.  During the time that Doug was so sick, it was always on my mind.  Over and over I had to fill out forms and answer questions about our family health history.  And of course Gwen and Doug only have 1/2 of their history.  We don't know anything at all about Ken's genetic picture.  I can say with confidence that there is NO cancer in my immediate family (Mother, father, sisters, brothers, grandparents).  That is amazing.  I also have length of life for all of these family members.  But Ken doesn't really know.  Should he have early testing for various cancers?  Is there heart disease in his family?  Unknown.   Ken is not the only person in this situation.  All adoptions were "closed" in the 1950's and earlier.  How much easier it is for children adopted today. Even if it is not an open adoption, medical histories are taken and most often parents are given information about the birth families. 

I realized that I have been thinking about my new little unborn granddaughter.  How blessed are we that she has already had her first real "physical exam" (biophysical ultrasound) and found to be developing normally.  It is really amazing the long list of problems that can be discovered at a 20 week ultrasound.  That list means that they can ELIMINATE those problems also!  What a blessing to be able to celebrate her health as well as her gender!  Even though we don't have all of her family health history.

You know, the idea that we are all adopted into Yahweh's family is really powerful.  We have been made sons and daughters of the King of Kings.  We are heirs of the Father and will inherit the Kingdom of our brother Jesus!  I am beginning to understand Ken's perspective on adoption.  Once we are grafted into a new family, why look back?  Spiritually, we are born into the world of sin and death.  Once we are adopted into Jesus' family, we have righteousness and LIFE!  What an amazing thing.  So tonight I am celebrating adoption.  And I am celebrating Ken and the life that Jesus chose for him. 

Jesus, thank you for the amazing gift of adoption.  Our adoption into your family and also the process of the adoption of children into earthly families.  Holy Spirit, thank you for showing me a greater depth of understanding of adoption.   Bless all those families that have been touched by adoption. Jesus surround all those families that have given children for adoption.  Shower them with your love and your peace.  Jesus, help us to live in our rightful place as heirs of your Kingdom.  And Jesus, thank you again, for Ken.  Amen

Two days to admit the truth....

Today I have been thinking about siblings.  This morning I was talking to Gwen on the phone and Ellie and Zeke were with her in the car.  Zeke had been at the doctor and was unfortunately diagnosed with "Hand, Foot and Mouth" disease.  (This is a viral infection that seems to run through preschool aged kids like wildfire.  No treatment, just a week of misery with blisters on the bottoms of the feet, palms of the hands and in the mouth).  Ellie was her usual care-giving self.  She was concerned about her brother!  Later in the day, I got to talk to Zeke on the phone and he told me about the "owies" in his mouth.  And then Ellie gave me the whole story. 

 

So it is interesting to think about Lia, Ellie and Zeke (and of course the baby on the way!) and wonder how they will relate to each other as adults.  I know that, as parents, we all wonder how our children will be together as adults.  And I am sure that many of us can bring to mind families who do not relate well as adults. 

 

 I am so thankful that Gwen and Doug actually like to spend time together.  This past weekend, the two families went camping together.  The four adults (one pregnant), three kids and three dogs.  And it rained.  But it warms my heart to know that they enjoy being together. I feel very blessed.

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TRUTH TELLING TIME.........  I actually wrote the above post last night, but I knew that I couldn't post it.  The truth is, I was thinking about my own siblings.  And tonight I can admit that I am very sad.  





 

This picture was taken the last time we were all together, on my mom's 90th birthday.  My sister Karen died two years later.  But what was on my mind last night, was how far apart our family has become.  We barely communicate and we are never together.  Last night I was remembering how many times my mom spoke about this to me.  She was very worried that after she died, we would all drift apart.  She felt that she was the only reason we had any contact.  Sadly, she was right.  Also, my mom was the "spiritual compass" of our family.  She was so solidly sure of her faith in Jesus.  She knew exactly where she would be when she died, and she was not afraid to get to heaven.  She had waited all her life, to meet her mother.  And in the last years, she talked at great length of her greatest desire to see ALL of her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren come to know Jesus.  She would say that she could not understand how people could get by without faith.  It was the total assurance she had that my sister Karen knew Jesus and would be waiting for her in heaven, that made the last years without her, bearable. Mom said, "It's not supposed to be this way - children should not die before their parents".  I know that she said years and years of prayers for all of us.  And I also know that Jesus will honor all of those prayers.  Yep, my mom left a Spiritual Heritage that will not be destroyed.  So, in spite of the miles that are between us, in spite of the many differences in our life styles, our beliefs, our hobbies, our jobs - we are still family.  And I commit today, to not forget my siblings when I pray. So, Roy, Jerry, Thoralee, Julie, Greg, Louisa, be on notice that I am praying for you!  Amy, Bill, Nancy, Juan, Susan, Jeff, Elise, Dale, Chris, Sara, Greg, Staci, Aaron - this includes you also!  Bennett, Taylor, Blake, Kirsten, Brandi, Nick, Josh, Zack, Fran, Dan, Emily, Noah, Austin, Chad, Angela, Brad, Riana, Bradyn, Paige, Logan - I'm praying for you also! 

 

Jesus, I pray that you would reach out right now and touch each one of my siblings and their families.  Holy Spirit, remind them all of Mom's great love for them.  Jesus, speak into their hearts and bring a new depth of understanding to each of them, of your great love for them.  Bring those that do not know you into your kingdom, Jesus and bless them.  Thank you Jesus, that you care about our families more than we do!  Your great desire is that all would believe.  Remind everyone reading this blog, that you are the creator of family and your desire is to bless us.  Amen