Waiting and preparing.....Advent

 It's been a busy time getting ready for Christmas.  I started assembling all of the gifts I have purchased and made a list of the missing items.  This year I also have a list of yet-to-arrive things that may be "lost" in shipment!  I am right there with everyone else, I guess.  It has been a a contemplative time for me.  Each ornament I put on my tree seemed to bring back a memory.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.  This year I especially focused on this ornament.  In 2013, I actually wrote a blog about that included this ornament.  But this year, my thoughts are a bit different. I've been thinking about legacy.  

This ornament has a unknown age.  I know that it came from Germany.  I know that it was brought to the United States by my Great Grandparents, Ernst and Clara Toensing around 1871.  They already had four  children when they began their journey.  Sadly, their youngest child died during the journey.  When they arrived in the United States, they settled in St. Paul, Minnesota.  Their family grew to include five more children, including my grandfather.

Clara was never in very good health after the trip here (as you can see by the picture above).  She died when her last child was only 9 years old.   As far as I know, the story behind this ornament has been lost.  I don't know if it was already old when Clara and Ernst received it.  Could it have been on their parent's tree for years?  Possibly.  Was it a wedding gift?  Maybe.  I can imagine that deciding what to carry with them during their journey across the world, was very difficult.  So this was a precious item for them.   By the time my memories of Christmas begin, my mom always hung this ornament on our tree.   She had cared for her father and her aunt (who had helped raise her) in their old age.  So she had inherited this ornament after their deaths.  For mom, this ornament held memories of her own Christmas celebrations and my usually stoic mom, was very sentimental about it.  I remember the year that she brought this ornament to me to hang on my own tree.  She was dividing up her Christmas stuff among my siblings and knew that I especially loved this ornament.   When Gwen and Doug got married, I passed a couple of special ornaments on for their families.  I  have some pink bells that were made by Ken's grandma Baker.  Each of my kids have one of those on their tree.  And I  have some china "Choir Boy ornaments that my mom got for our family tree, long before I was born.  So, for me, those have always been on my Christmas Tree.   My mom gave me three, so Gwen and Doug each got one.  I love looking at their trees and seeing these pieces of history living on into another generation.  

Christmas is full of traditions and customs for every family.  I love that Jesus is the focus of the holiday for our family.  We have always celebrated Advent and use the time to retell the Bible stories that reveal God's plan to bring Jesus into the world.  The Advent wreath helps us to focus on one theme or story and remember just how amazing God's rescue plan was to bring a savior into the world.  Yesterday I had the privilege of helping in the Rock (the children's Sunday School at Gwen's church).  The message was that Jesus came to bring Good News to the world.  The reminder was that we all have good news to share with others.  

The Second through Fifth graders got sticky notes and they wrote Good News things they could share with "My World", "My family", "My school", "My Friends", "My Neighbors".  I especially loved this poster to the world.  If you look closely you can see "Jesus is coming" "Jesus has come"  "Jesus saves us" "God loves us" and more.  What a great lesson for these kids to know that it is wonderful  to share this good news with the world.  

I am so thankful that my ancestors knew and honored the story of God's rescue plan. They brought their faith and traditions to the United States when they came here.  They built a church so that their children and their new neighbors would hear the Good News.  

Ernst Toensing built this church with the help of his brother (who also came to the United States at the same time).  Zion Lutheran Church was the sight of the baptisms of Ernst and Clara's five children born here.  And it was also the location of the funerals of many of them and their descendants.  The cemetery across the street from this church, has the "Toensing family plot, the final resting spot of my grandfather and grandmother along with many other relatives.  That church is still holding weekly services for recent immigrants to the United States, the Hmong community.  I am so thankful that the legacy of my great grandparents is sharing the Good News of the birth of Jesus, the great rescuer who came to save us all.   

Jesus, thank you for coming to our rescue through your birth, life and death.  Holy Spirit, give us all boldness to share this incredible good news with those around us.  Thank you for songs and carols that continue to tell the story.  Thank you for candles and lights that remind us that the light of the world was born in Bethlehem.  Jesus help us keep you in all of our celebrations during this season.  Amen

Weekend being Grandma...

This past weekend I spent with these three cuties.  Gwen and Tim and Lia were away for their youth group Fall Retreat.  It is always interesting to have just three of the four kids. Ellie really rises to the role of "leader" and "helper" when Lia is not in the picture.  We actually managed to be up and ready for church with no problem.  We even got there with time to spare!  For these kids, if it is Sunday, then you go to church. 

There was lots of time to play games.  I don't remember exactly how many games of Sorry we played, but it was a lot!  Zeke and I played many, many rounds of Battleship and boy does he have a good ability to find those battleships.  Ellie and Zeke also played Battleship a number of times.  We finished off the weekend with a very long game of Monopoly.  We were still in the middle of the game when Gwen, Tim and Lia got home.  Again, even Anna was playing.  She had a hard time "reading" the dice but figured out that she could just count the dots.  So after that, we were not allowed to help her.  She was quite the Monopoly mogul and managed to purchase the most property.  She even had houses on several of her lots.  

I have mentioned that Gwen home schools the kids. I know that there is a lot of controversy over this decision - public school vs home school.  This weekend highlighted for me one of the very big advantages of home school.  These kids play together ALL THE TIME!  They are used to being together and they just include each other in whatever activity is happening.  Anna is only 5 and really might be considered too young to play these games.  But with help and guidance from her siblings, she did just fine.   I see how very different Lia, Ellie, Zeke and Anna view their friends.  There doesn't seem to be any division according to what grade someone is in or how old they are.  All of the ages of kids play together.  It reminds me of the old "one room school house" approach.  Even at their Home School Co-Op the kids are very loosely grouped - mostly by an age range.  Often the kids don't even really know what "grade" their friends are in!  It makes for a wonderful and fun time doing activities with all of the kids together.  

The retreat that Gwen, Tim and Lia went on had a focus on family legacy.  This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart.  During this weekend I found myself watching and listening to Ellie, Zeke and Anna, thinking about who they are becoming.  I love that Jesus has given me a prophetic picture of each of them even before they were born.  And now I can see glimpses of those characteristics in each of them.  Ellie is such a strong girl.  Diagnosed with Dyslexia and ADHD, she has had to overcome some really big obstacles in her ten years.  But she has really thrived.  I was thinking about the word I had for Ellie....

She is really growing into that Warrior!  It is a bit hard to see, but the words across the bottom say "stands on high places and takes back the land".  She has already climbed many mountains, just to read and be able to learn.  I can see Jesus' plan to use this in the future.  She is the most loving and caring girl and one of the most creative people I have ever known.  She really has a heart for anyone who has any kind of struggle.  I can't wait to see how her gifts and talents continue to grow in the years ahead.  

Zeke is such an amazing boy.  He is only eight but sometimes you can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to figure out how something works. He is very good at math and seems to be able to do his math problems "in his head".   Looking at the words that are on this frame, I can already see coming forth in Zeke.  He is so kind and loving.  And more than once I have been surprised by the very insightful things that he has said.  He loves to sing and just this weekend it filled me with joy to hear him singing along with a Christian song on the radio in my car.  He certainly has the makings of a priest of the Lord.

 And then there is Anna.  She is such an interesting mix of both Gwen and Tim and I can also see bits and pieces of each of her siblings.  One thing is for sure, she is her own special person.  Because she is the youngest she is often left on her own.  And this doesn't bother Anna at all.  She plays by herself for hours.  She is wise well beyond her five years.  She has long, long stories to tell and often sings as she plays.  There is nothing better than listening to her chatting with her dolls and then singing a song to them.  I noticed this weekend how much she reminds me of my mom.  She was born many years after my mom died, but I am certain that Anna has that legacy of great grandma Nona within her.

I can't tell you exactly what it is about Anna that reminds me of mom, but there is just something there. When I look in her eyes there is a depth of understanding that goes way beyond her years.  I can't wait to see exactly how Jesus uses Anna in the kingdom.  

I am so blessed to have these weekend times with the kids to watch them grow and change.  I get to seem them every week, but those days are often filled with normal day-to-day things like school.  So I make sure to really soak up every bit of the time I can when I get to just be grandma.  

Jesus, thank you so much for revelation and words of encouragement for my generations.  Holy Spirit, remind us every day that you are speaking to us and want to speak through us to others.  Quiet our spirits Lord so that we can hear you.  Help us to make time away from the distractions of life to be with you.  Thank you for your legacy of love.  Amen 

When you touch a piece of your own history....

Our family spent last weekend in Des Moines, Iowa visiting with some of my extended family for a reunion.  It was so good to be with family that we haven't seen since 2011.  We gathered at a hotel meeting room and just sat and talked and shared so many memories.  Our kids camped at nearby campgrounds but still spent plenty of time at the hotel.  We had hoped to get as many of my mom and dad's descendants as possible in attendance, but schedules just didn't allow for some to attend.  We were missing one of my brothers.  We were missing three of the grandchildren.  And only 9 of the 27 great grandchildren made the reunion. And none of the 3 great-great grandchildren attended either.  

But those of us who were there sure had a great time.  None of the family actually live in Des Moines, but it was a really good meeting spot.  The majority of us drove about 4 hours to get there.  My niece Amy got the prize for coming the farthest... she lives in Arizona!  

It was so good to get to visit with my brother-in-law Roy.  At 86 years old  he got the "prize" (if you can call it that) for being the oldest member of the family.  I shared with him that I have very few memories that do not include him!  My sister Karen began dating Roy when I was only 4 years old.  So Roy has always been a part of my memories.  Roy has been working hard on our family tree and has so much information gathered.  He brought me a large portrait of my paternal grandparents that had been gifted to my sister Karen some years ago.  This is a much smaller image of that portrait of my grandparents, Axel and Betty Johnson.  

 The most amazing thing Roy gave me is a letter that had been in my sister Karen's possession. He recently found this letter when he moved into a senior living apartment and he knew that it would be meaningful for me.  This letter was written July 25, 1916 to my great aunt Anna Toensing.  It was written by my grandmother, Nora - my mom's mother - who died in April of 2017.  Aunt Anna moved in to her brothers home after his wife died to help raise his four daughters.  She was the only "mother" that my mom ever knew.  

Holding this letter in my hands was amazing.  Reading it was incredible.  My grandmother talks about her illness, about the doctor visits and her hope that she will recover soon.  Sadly, that did not happen.  I love that it mentions "the baby is walking now"!  That baby was my mom.  I know that my mom would have loved this letter, although I don't think she ever saw it.  I love the very ordinary things that Nora shares in this letter.  She talks about needing to can the many blueberries that are on their property.  She has socks that need darning.  And she apologizes for missing the funeral of Arnold's (my grandfather) brother, Fred (who died in March of 1916).  She says that the winter was especially bad with lots of snow and very cold.  She sounds so desperate to just feel better and to be able to do all the things that a mother of four small daughters needed to do.   I can imagine Aunt Anna, reading this letter and wanting to help in some way.  Shortly after this letter was sent, my grandfather made the decision to sell his farm and move his family to St. Paul.  This was both so that my grandmother could get medical care, but also so that his extended family would be there to help with the four young daughters.  

This is the only picture that my mom ever had of her with her mother.  It was taken in the fall of 1916, not long after the letter was written.  You can see in the picture just how thin and frail Nora was as she looked lovingly at my mom who was about 15 months old..  Mom was one month shy of two years old when her mother died.  

Yet, here I am, in 2019, ONE HUNDRED AND THREE YEARS LATER,  holding four pieces of paper that Nora had once held in her hand.  The writing looks so similar to my mom's handwriting.  

I am feeling a connection to my grandmother that I have never felt before.  Tracing the words on the page, and knowing the outcome of her story, I am moved to tears.  It now seems so important to keep those handwritten notes from my children that are in my jewelry box.  It has also shown me, again, just how important it is to put words on a page.  While I know that these blogs are not "handwritten", I am convinced that they will live on, long after I am gone.  The journaling that I do in my scrapbooks, along with preserving the photos, has taken on a whole new meaning.  Someday, the everyday things that I am sharing might be especially meaningful to someone down my family tree.  

Sitting here, holding those very old, faded and yellowing sheets of paper in my hand, I am trying to imagine a time in the future when a great grandchild, or a great-great grandchild might be looking at these blogs and feel a connection to me that they had never known.  It sure gives a great deal of weight to the words that I choose to put on paper.  The most important message of all of this is that we ARE connected to our generations.  Those before us and those after us.  It gives importance and meaning to the idea that we need to pray for our generations yet to come.  I want to leave a spiritual legacy for my generations.  A legacy of loving Jesus and a life bathed in the truth of the Bible.  It is my hope and prayer that even the everyday words and the sharing give a clear picture of the importance of my personal relationship with Jesus.  Nothing else matters.  

Most importantly for all of us, it is not too late.  Draw your family close - it doesn't matter what might have driven you apart in the past.  Seek out ways to connect and share.  We can all begin today building that legacy for the future.  Each of us has the ability to impact those around us.  We can smile at someone, help a friend in need, or volunteer.  Big things and small things, it just doesn't matter.  Take even one small step today, thinking about your legacy.  Let us all make this world a better place - not only for us but for those who will come after...... 

Jesus, thank you for loving my family.  Holy Spirit, help us to see and know when our actions are influences in the world.  Thank you for placing reminders in my hands of your working in my family so many years ago. Give us courage and boldness to share our testimony with others.  Let us love the world with your love, Jesus.  Amen

Birthdays, tea party and really freaky snowstorm!

On Monday, I celebrated Ellie's 9th birthday a day early.  She turned 9 (and Doug turned 36) on Tuesday!  I had a long discussion with Ellie about her wishes for her birthday presents and she was quite specific about what was on her list.  Of course, her greatest wish was also the "toy of the year" for girls her age.  This grandma had a bit of a stressful time when I thought that I would not be able to find any of the items on her list. Even Amazon was sold out!  It was a miracle that I happened into the local ToyRUs on the day that they received a shipment of the exact items that she wanted!  So it was a happy grandma that was able to give Ellie exactly what she wanted. And it was a very happy Ellie. 

 (Side note, this toy of the year is LOL dolls.  They are a series of little collectible dolls that have "accessories" like clothes, shoes and jewelry, as well as "little sisters" to each of the big dolls. And by "big" dolls I mean they are about 2 inches tall and the little sisters are about 1/2" tall.  Of course you don't just get the doll.  Each item is packaged separately in "blind bags" that you have to open.  Now that you know the size of these dolls, imagine just how small the accessories are!

Oh, and the big dolls don't just come in a bag.  They are hidden in a foaming bath bomb ball that you have to place in water and let fizz until the doll is revealed!  Listen, I could not make this stuff up!  I am telling you the honest truth!  And this is the toy of the year!)    

It was especially wonderful to see just how delighted Ellie was with her gifts.  She has really grown up in the last year and suddenly just seems so old!  This girl has the biggest heart I have ever seen.  She would give away her most prized thing if she thought that you wanted it.  She is the most loving and caring girl.  She has a creative gift that is extraordinary.  There is no trash to Ellie.  She takes boxes and packaging and creates amazing things.   She is cutting and creating from morning until night.  Usually making something for someone else.  Right now she is working on making bracelets for all the girls coming to her birthday party.  When she is not doing that, she is working on large jigsaw puzzles.  As I am writing this, and thinking about what makes Ellie who she is, I am reminded of the clear message I received for her of God's plan and destiny for her life.  She is a warrior who will be praying for others.  Her gifts will bring her to places and people that will need God's love. She will be there, declaring and sharing Jesus will everyone around her.  I can't wait to see what Ellie accomplishes in the years ahead.

After all that birthday celebration, I was helping Anna clean up her bedroom.  She was very clear that all the cleaning was being done, just so that we could have a tea party.  After everything was put away and things were exactly right, Anna prepared the tea for us.  She did not need any help (of course) getting the water from the bathroom for our "tea".  We each had a doll that would need help and I was given very clear instructions for the help that was needed.  The highlight of the tea party for me was Anna's great surprise that this "old" grandma was able to sit "crisscross applesauce" on the floor!

It is so wild for me to spend time with Anna since it feels like I am in a time warp and back to spending time with Gwen.  Anna is so much like Gwen in so many ways.  In typical Grandma fashion, I manage to call Anna, Gwen more than once!  

Then on Tuesday, Grace and I had a fun day of play.  Our Chicago weather was typically crazy beginning on Monday evening.  We had rain, followed by sleet, followed by little icy pellets, followed by more rain and finally snow.  By Tuesday midday, the ground had basically cleared.  The sky had a really funny cloud bank and it was pretty windy and cold.  But the sun was shining!  Then out of nowhere came this burst of a blinding snowstorm.  And there were giant flakes of snow - like half dollar size!  The snow was swirling around and you couldn't see very far for all the snow.  This is how Grace stood for over half an hour!  She wanted to get to those snowflakes in the worst way. 

Pretty quickly the ground was once again covered with snow.  But as quickly as it started, it came to a halt.  And within another hour or so, all the snow was gone!  But the wonder and joy of Grace stayed with me.  Seeing snow in the eyes of a one year old really changes things!

This couple of days has just reinforced for me how incredibly blessed I am to be able to spend time with my grandchildren.  Being with them on regular days, just doing normal things, allows me to get to know who they really are.  I just love seeing all of the wonderful gifts and talents in each of the kids.  Being able to share birthdays, and tea parties and snow showers with them is not only making memories it is sowing seeds into future generations.  Our life is influenced by our ties to past generations and we have the ability to leave a lasting legacy for our family.  Gwen sent me this quote out of her current Beth Moore Bible Study ....

I loved this paragraph so much!  Yes, it is God's way for fruitfulness and faithfulness to come from being connected one generation to the next.   Knowing and receiving from our past generations and then being intentional to sow into those around us will bare fruit in the future.  

During our tea party, Anna started talking great grandma Nona (my mom) she called her "great grandma Nona that I never met".  She knows all about her.  She talks about her and she knows that she is in heaven with Jesus.   She is connected to her  through me, through her mom and through her sisters.  When she gets older she will hear many stories about her.  But she knows, already, the most important thing.  Great Grandma Nona loved Jesus and is in heaven with Him.  Her faith is being shared with Anna because of the spiritual lineage of our family.  

My encouragement to you today is to take this short paragraph to heart.  Look at the spiritual seeds in your past generations.  Think about taking time to share with those around you what is happening in your own spiritual journey.  Start right now leaving a spiritual legacy for future generations.  

Jesus, thank you so much for all these special times.  Thank you for the gifts and talents that you have placed into each of us.  Holy Spirit, give us courage to look at our past generations and open our eyes to the spiritual legacy that was given to us.  Jesus, help us to connect to those around us in open and honest ways.  Give us grace to share our spiritual journey with others.  Amen

Legacy in some old dishes.....

Yesterday I caught an interesting discussion on the radio about the increased amount of dishes and other treasurers being donated to Goodwill.  There has been a 20% increase in the last few years.  The reason seems to be that the current "younger generations" have no use for the sets of "good china" or other items that were once stored in "china hutches".    There were several callers who told stories about discovering that their parents (or grandparents) china sets were worth thousands of dollars! Of course I was reflecting on my own very different situation.

When my mom first moved out of her house into an "independent living" apartment, she got rid of most of her dishes and many of her other "nick nacks".  I remember that she asked me if there was anything that I really wanted.  It was really easy for me to come up with a very short list......
I wanted the tree plate that was at the lake.  I wanted the grape plate that she used on "special occasions" and I wanted 4 of the glass "desert cups" that we always used.  Needless to say, she was shocked by my list.  Shocked because she could not imagine WHY I would want those particular items!

This is the tree plate.  I always asked to use this plate at the lake.  I just loved it.  I found out from my mom (when she gave me the plate) that this was a supermarket give away from Council Oaks Grocery Store sometime in the 1950's.  She couldn't believe that I wanted this old thing.  

This is the grape plate.  My mom couldn't really remember anything about where this even came from.  She never really liked it, but it has sort of raised edge so things stay on the plate when you pass them.  I especially remember deviled eggs being served on this plate.  My mom pointed out that it was kind of chipped and really shouldn't be used anymore.  I still wanted it.  

The last things were these glass dishes.  She laughed at me for wanting these.  They actually were "jelly jars"  - filled with jams and jelly purchased at the grocery store and then cleaned and kept for use.  I remember many, many servings of tapioca pudding from these!  

So yes, these items are still sitting in my china hutch.  And I don't actually use them at all.  But I like knowing that they are there.  The radio conversation got me thinking, however, about the fact that soon enough I will be trying to get rid of all of MY stuff as we begin to downsize.  I do own a set of "good china" but we never used it.  It sits unused in the cabinet.  I do have a few crystal pieces that do get used - on holidays or other family gatherings.  But I am fairly certain that neither of my kids will have any interest in those items.... or the ones that I got from my mom.  Times have really changed, that is for sure.  Alas, I think most of my things will find their way to Goodwill!

It was really nice to take these items out of the hutch and hold them in my hands (to take these pictures)!  Each one of them made me smile.  There is something very powerful about holding an item in your hands, remembering the other hands that once held them.   So unlike those callers on the radio this morning, my dishes have no monetary value.  But the memories and the connections of these items to my mom and dad are very real and so very valuable.   I remember all of the wonderful meals my mom cooked at the lake - in very primitive conditions.   I think about those special holiday dinners when I would see that grape plate on the table covered with some special treat.  And oh the special puddings and deserts those glasses held.  

I am really sorry that I never used these special plates and dishes with my own kids.  They will not have any memories of them and will most likely not want them.  And that makes me sad.  I also am trying to imagine if there is anything that they might want out of my very crowded hutch!  After this past weekend of scrapbooking family events, I am extremely grateful that we have made it a priority to make lots of memories through activities!  And I am also very thankful for all of those scrapbooks!

Even if my dishes and my mom's dishes end up in Goodwill some day, my children and grandchildren will have photographic reminders of many great family times.  It might not be a plate they are holding in their hands, but it will be pictures of  all of us having lots of fun together.  

Yes, the value of legacy is much more than dollars and cents.  There is really no way to put a price on memories.  While my treasured legacy items may not be worth much money, they are filled with memories.  And every page of my scrapbooks are also priceless!  

Take some time to consider what legacy you are leaving.  More than likely the best legacy you can leave does not have much monetary value.  Think about the good times you have had with friends and family.  Remember those special times - maybe just doing nothing but being together.  Look at some pictures - or take some pictures!  Slow down and talk and listen to those you love.   Tell those younger than you about the "good old days".  Create a legacy, one story at a time! 

I love that the Bible is God's legacy to us.  It is a love story filled with events that all connect together.  One story leads to the next story and reveals a wonderful "rescue plan" (as my grandchildren love to call it) in Jesus.  The faithfulness of God is shown to us over and over on each page of the book.  That is a truly priceless legacy!

Jesus, thank you for my family - my mom and dad and siblings and thank you for Ken, and my kids and grandchildren.  Holy Spirit help us to build a lasting legacy for our families, not of things but of stories and memories.  Remind us all to stay grounded in your amazing legacy - the Bible.  Amen

What we pass on to our kids and grandkids....

So many people commented on my recent Facebook cover photo of our grand kids on the 4th of July.  It reminded me of this photo from 1983 of my own cuties - Gwen and Doug and a long ago 4th of July.  We took loads of photos during our get together (as usual) and I have so many favorites that I know will be pages and pages of scrapbooking!  I loved this picture of Lia - our oldest grandchild and Grace - our youngest grandchild!

And looking at these pictures, one on top of the other in this blog, I can sure see Doug in Grace and Gwen in Lia!  It's amazing to think that 34 years separates these pictures!  

I've been thinking about all of the things that we pass on to our children and even to our grandchildren.  It must be because, like so many of my friends, retirement is approaching for Ken and I (in a few years).  Besides all the fuss and worry about where to live, insurance, making those dollars last for your lifetime, there is that consideration of your legacy.  Websters defines a legacy as "something transmitted by or received from an ancestor."  The things I have been thinking about are more along the lines of the transmitted items.  I am so thankful that my children love celebrating all the holidays with family.  I love that being together is the most important thing for our family.  The 4th of July was always a big memory for me - being at Lake Maud.  There was always a big gathering with a cabin full of people, the yard full of tents and campers, sunburn, swimming, bug bites and fireworks.  I believe that I was 19 the first time I missed a fourth of July at Lake Maud.  While the place was important, it was really being with the people that made it so special.  I love that special legacy that was passed down to me from my parents, has now been passed on to my children and grandchildren.  Seeing the pictures of  my grandchildren together - seeing the joy of the cousins being together, reminded me of this picture....

Here I am (bottom left)  with my sister Julie (top left) and our cousins Corrine (top right) and Thoralee (bottom right)!  And of course, this was taken at Lake Maud!  Thoralee is the closest in age to me (two years older) of all of my 32 first cousins!  Yes, I have 32 first cousins!  But since my mom and dad were both the youngest in their families and I am the youngest in my family, most of my cousins were MUCH older than me!  As a matter of fact, several of my cousins were in their late twenties when I was born and already were married. Still I loved spending time with my cousins and have many wonderful memories being with them.  This extended family time was another legacy from my parents.  In spite of living so far apart, I really tried my best to give Gwen and Doug time with their cousins.  I love that Gwen and Doug make time to be together with their families. It is certainly a blessing for this grandma!  

Just putting these words on the page is such a good reminder for me.  The idea of leaving a legacy can be so daunting.  It feels like somehow you have failed if there is not a large monetary inheritance to leave your children.  When I reflect on my parents and my grandparents and the legacy that I received from them, it is never about money or property.  It is always about the love and the closeness of family and the traditions that have been carried on into my life.  It always is about the Spiritual legacy - the seeds of faith and belief that were a part of the foundation of our family.  

I have the wonderful opportunity to continue to live out that legacy of love with my children and grandchildren.  Each of you have that same ability to have an influence over the next generation.  If you don't have children of your own, befriend some children in your neighborhood or church.  Volunteer and meet some new people.  Leave a legacy of love that will live beyond your years.  The only requirement for this is time.  Be with the ones you love!  Give your love to those you are with, whoever that may be - friends, neighbors, coworkers, people you meet in the stores or on the street.  Let your life be filled with love that touches others.  Now that is an important legacy!

Jesus, thank you for reminding me of your great love for us.  Holy Spirit, turn our eyes away from the material things and fill our hearts with love for those around us. Give us eyes to see those who need our time and our love.  Jesus, thank you for family and friends and Facebook - that helps to keep us close even when we are miles apart!  Amen

Lineage and Legacy...........and love

For some reason today, I just kept thinking about my mom.  It is really interesting when this happens.  It seems to come out of nowhere and then suddenly I am thinking about how much I miss her.  This picture was taken in the 1990's (I would have to do some serious looking to find out the exact date).  She has been gone now for almost 5 years but it some ways, it seems like just yesterday I was talking to her on the phone.  The interesting thing is that there is no special "date trigger" or event that has brought her to my mind.  I just woke up thinking about her and she has been on my mind all day.  A couple weeks ago Gwen and I were talking about her, kind of out of the blue.  The previous day Lia had commented to Gwen that these cookies........

reminded her of the cookies that Great Grandma Nona always had at her house.  The cookies Lia was talking about were actually Vienna Fingers, but these taste a lot like them.  It was so good to know that Lia really remembers mom and that these memories, most likely, will not go away.  And I am especially glad that it is the little things that Lia remembers.  

It was interesting, that one the conversations at my small group today was our lineage and legacy.  One of my friends had gotten a new book by Bobby Conner Lineage-Line and Legacy after hearing him speak at a conference last week.   Our discussion today reminded me of all of the ways that my mom has left a legacy for me and for my children and grandchildren.  There is wisdom in thinking about this topic and setting our sights on the kind of legacy that we want to leave - not only for our family but also for the Kingdom!  The title of this book really struck me also because of this..

I think I have blogged about these very special name frames that I have created for each of my grandchildren.  Each one contains a prophetic message that was given to me especially for them.  This is Anna's frame.  The message for her was very clear and very simple.... her life was a legacy of love and is in the lineage of the King of Kings!  Her destiny includes bringing the kingdom of heaven to earth!  When I was on my way home from group today, I was thinking about this frame.  I am so thankful that part of my legacy.....through Anna..... is LOVE!  There is nothing better or greater than that.  If Anna only leaves a legacy of love in this world, that would be enough.  And isn't that really what God's kingdom is all about?  All over the world, people pray the Lord's prayer every day.  We teach it to young children.  

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  

Lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil.

For yours is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory, forever.  Amen

God is LOVE and that is His kingdom! All of us are charged with leaving a legacy of love to the world.  With all of the political drama going on right now, it is difficult to see the love.  But as Christians, we need to keep our focus on what is really important.  And today, more than any other day, sharing love with our families, with our neighbors AND with those with whom we don't agree! Love.  It is that simple.  A wonderful legacy.

My mom left that legacy.  A wonderful, sweet legacy of love that will be carried on into her generations.  And I am so thankful that Lia will remember that love.

Jesus, thank you for memories and pictures and books that point the way to your truths each day.  Thank you for your great love for us that brought you here to the earth and to the cross.  Holy Spirit, nudge us every day when we need to share your love with others.  Help us to know your love for us. Amen 

Thinking about my legacy......

Over the last week or so I have been really stuck on the thought of "Legacy".  Exactly what is a legacy and why is it so important?  So one day I was scrolling through Facebook and one of my friends had posted this piece......

WHAT IS LEGACY?
by Susan V. Bosak
Chair, Legacy Project
...


The concept of legacy is a powerful life tool for all ages and a catalyst for social change
Legacy is about life and living. It's about learning from the past, living in the present, and building for the future.
Where do you think it's best to plant a young tree: a clearing in an old-growth forest or an open field? Ecologists tell us that a young tree grows better when it's planted in an area with older trees. The reason, it seems, is that the roots of the young tree are able to follow the pathways created by former trees and implant themselves more deeply. Over time, the roots of many trees may actually graft themselves to one another, creating an intricate, interdependent foundation hidden under the ground. In this way, stronger trees share resources with weaker ones so that the whole forest becomes healthier. That's legacy: an interconnection across time, with a need for those who have come before us and a responsibility to those who come after us.
Elizabeth Elizabeth Tiam-Fook

Yes, I loved this so much.  I love the idea that a legacy is about our life and how we are living it.  It is about knowing and learning from our past and the generations of our past and then living in a way that is building for the future.  I have been so drawn to this concept of leaving a legacy for my children and grandchildren.  And after reading that short paragraph, I have a much better understanding of how I should be thinking about my legacy.  

 I believe that one aspect of my legacy has to do with children and their importance in the kingdom and FOR the kingdom.  I spent much of the last 35 or so years either working with children, writing about children, speaking about children or being with children.  My earliest testimony at age 4 is evidence for me that Jesus knows about children and speaks to children.  I am convinced that somewhere along the way, the western church has lost and/or forgotten this verse pictured above.  People have been sold a bill of goods that says all we have to do is entertain the kids - keep them busy - so that the adults can learn/worship without distraction.  Sometimes you might hear that children learn better at their own level so it is best to keep them away from "adult" worship.  It seems so funny to me whenever I hear these arguments, since that is exactly what was happening just before Jesus spoke these words!  The disciples were telling the moms and dads to keep their kids away, that Jesus had "adult" things to do and speak.  Certainly he was much to busy to spend time with the kids.

I don't only see this as unfortunate for the children, it is sad and such a loss for the entire congregation.  When we exclude children from any part of our worship experience, we are cutting off those roots of legacy.  How do we expect children to connect with Jesus and come into an active and vital worship life if they are not allowed to be "planted" in our corporate worship times, surrounded by the legacy of older saints.  It should come as no surprise that so many preteen/teenage children choose to emulate their friends and schoolmates who "worship" video games or sports, and find church boring and not relevant when we suddenly decide they are "adults" and should worship with us. They don't have roots that have taken hold in those pathways of the older people.  The good news is that each one of us, regardless of the customs or traditions of our local church, can make a difference in the life of children around us.  We can have conversations with our neighbor children, our nieces or nephews, children in our churches.  We can really live out that scripture above..... we can welcome a child into worship.    We can smile and acknowledge them.  We can offer to sit by them (and give mom or dad some much needed assistance).  We can appreciate ALL the people that Jesus is talking about in this verse.  Those with special needs (who may be aged as an adult but have very childlike behavior).  Those with disabilities. Those struggling with dementia. Those who might not understand the "rules" of behavior of your particular church.  The person who has just met Jesus. The homeless or needy.  Really, the list goes on and on.  The point is that Jesus welcomes ALL of his children.  From birth to death.   When you consider the story of the tree and where it should be planted, this makes sense.  Let's all change the legacy we are leaving.  Let us all be those strong, sturdy, deep-rooted trees that welcome those new plantings and shelter them with love and care.   Yes, this is my Advent challenge to you.  See yourself as a tree and find a new young tree to nurture.  You will be building a lasting legacy.

Jesus, thank you for Facebook that brings your thoughts and ideas to mind.  Thank you for reminding me of your heart for us.  What an amazing love you have for your children - no matter what their physical age or ability. Holy Spirit, keep this thought in our minds as we walk through this Advent season.  A time when we are all waiting for the arrival of Jesus.  Give us grace to show your love to those around us.  Amen 

Remembering advice and .... blessings of sisters

Today is my sister Karen's birthday. Sadly Karen died in 2007.  Just last week I was talking about my family....my sisters and brothers.... with my small group Bible Study.  You might think that the above picture is not a really good shot.  But for me, it is really significant.  I love that I am sitting on Karen's lap and my sister Julie is sitting next to her.  Here we are, three sisters.  But you can see by the picture, there was quite an age gap between us.  As a matter of fact Karen was home from college, Julie was a junior high girl and I was just 4 years old.  This picture is special to me because I actually remember this time.  On the other side of the room was a Christmas tree. I guess your memories start to really form somewhere around 3 or 4 years old.  I remember very clearly, waiting by the window for Karen to get home.  Karen got married before I was 6 and moved away.   In many ways Karen and I related a bit like she was my aunt rather than my sister (especially since her kids were closer in age to me that she was!).  But I have these times of memories of Karen that are such a blessing to me. I love this picture of us.  It was taken in 1976 at my brother Greg's wedding.  Karen was making sure that my sweater was exactly right.  I remember that I so wanted her approval.

As I got older, got married and had children, our age difference seemed to matter less and less. It was a wonderful surprise when she sent me a package in the mail after Gwen was born. It included sweet dresses for Gwen and also a note (that I am so sorry I didn't keep) but I did not forget what she said. She reminded me that I should "not sweat the small stuff" when I was parenting.  Karen told me that the best parenting advice she could give me was to let go of the little things and choose the battles with my children. I never forgot that advice.   I loved that she came to my home for a visit when Doug was a baby and Gwen was a preschooler.  We were suddenly not only sisters, but moms! One of my favorite memories was in the summer of 1979.  All of my siblings gathered at the "Lake".  Karen and I actually shared the living room, each of us on one of the sofa's, with Gwen in a playpen between us (she was 4 months old).  Karen and I laughed about the fact that this was the first time that we ever shared a bedroom as sisters!  

And here is a picture of us sisters in 1985 at the time of my dad's funeral.  Isn't it interesting how much we look alike?  Yes, I was very blessed to have these two women in my life.  Both of my sisters had a part in shaping my choices and the path that I walked as a child, teenager, young adult and married woman and mother.  It was really difficult for my mom when Karen died.  She was 92 at the time and had been very close to Karen.  It is always difficult to lose a child no matter how old they are!  And Karen was very missed during the last years of my mom's life. I  regretted that I didn't spend more time with my sister.

I have really gotten to know Karen better in these last years, by learning more about her three children... my nieces Amy, Nancy and Susan.  Thanks to Facebook, I keep up with all that is happening in their family.  This is certainly a wonderful benefit of the internet. These sisters have kept in close contact and have a wonderful relationship.  My brother-in-law Roy enjoys time with all of them and his grandchildren.  Karen's legacy lives on.  

I never forgot that advice that Karen gave me on parenting.  It was a foundation of my dealing with Gwen and Doug.  I am so thankful that Karen loved Jesus and served Him all of her life.  She sang His praises with an incredible voice.  She cared for others with a heart of love.  She was a planner and could carry out events with grace and poise.  And she loved her husband and family.  Yes, she was a blessing to me and to so many others.

Isn't it sad how we realize only in hind sight how important relationships are?  I know that the last few months have caused me to evaluate what is really necessary and what I need to devote my time and energy towards.  It is always good to have a bit of a wake up call since everyone seems to get caught in the rut of busy-ness.  Rushing here and there and packing your calendar with events that may not even be that important.  This is the time to purpose to change priorities.  Spend time with those that matter to you.  Sow seeds for your legacy.  Share and care and love above all.  Don't waste a precious moment.  

Jesus, thank you for family, for siblings for parents and children.  Thank you for reminders of seeds that have been sown into us through well meaning advice.  Holy Spirit, help us all to spend time with those we value.  Help us to keep our priorities right.  Thank you for revealing the legacy of my sister Karen through her children and grandchildren.  Jesus, thank you for the wake up call.  Amen

What a difference a couple of days makes!

On Monday I wrote about our very odd and awful weather..... snow.  And I included a picture of our front yard.  Well, here it is Wednesday.... just two days later....and there are the buds on our tree.  Green, very obvious leaf buds.   What a big difference.   Don't you just love Chicago weather?  There is the old saying, "If you don't like the weather in Chicago, just wait for a bit, it's bound to change!" Needless to say, I am thrilled to see this green, new evidence that Spring MUST be close at hand!

Yesterday, was another one of those anniversary days for me.   Five years ago on April 15 my mother-in-law, Joanne Rowley, died.   She had been having health problems for several years and the last 6 months of her life she had been in and out of the hospital.   So, her passing in 2009, while sad, was not a surprise.   I looked through all of my pictures to try to find a picture of her and I from the last years of her life.  I was not successful.  I did find this picture of our family with Mom and Dad Rowley on the occasion of their 65th Wedding Anniversary in 2007.

What a blessing it is to have the legacy in our family of long marriages.  I love that Gwen and Doug have been able to see and celebrate 50, 60 and 65th wedding anniversaries, and 90th and even 95th birthdays.   How wonderful it is to be able to talk about these milestones and to remember and share.  I think I have mentioned that Joanne was an amazing artist. We have many, many of her pieces around our home, as do Doug and Gwen.  But I have to share my very favorite today.

This is a very small painting(only about 3" X 5") that Joanne did when she was selling items at art fairs.  I remember her surprise when I asked to have this painting.  It was something that she had just done quickly.  I can't explain why, but when I hold it in my hand and look at it, there is a feeling that comes over me.   Certainly, the subject matter appeals to me.  But I really believe that there is a "Holy Spirit" message in this.   I love that the path is the central focus of the picture.  The destination is not clear.  The path has a church on one side and a home on the other.  And there is balance in this picture.    The church is in the foreground and the home is set back.   This speaks to me of putting God first in all things, followed by family and home.  Then work and everything else should follow that.  In fact, those things should not even be "in the picture".  I can't help but reflect on how messy life can get, when you don't follow this pattern.  When work becomes the most important thing in your life, there is a problem.   When your interests become first on your mind, rather than God, things don't tend to go well.   This painting is in my scrapbooking room and I look at it all the time.   Even though I know that Joanne did not have any of this in mind when she did this painting, I know that Jesus had it in mind.   I am so thankful that she gave me this small painting.

Jesus, thank you for Joanne and the gifts and talents you gave to her.   Thank you for the legacy that you have put in our family that we continue to celebrate.  Holy Spirit, thank you for bringing revelation to me of your intent for that painting.  Jesus, you are God of life and creation.  Thank you for bringing a burst of Springtime after that shot of Winter.   Amen