Thinking about Ken today while visiting one of his favorite spots!

The spring weather was calling out to me today so I decided to visit the Morton Arboretum for the first time since Ken died.  They are still doing timed entry only, but I was able to get a time for today.  Although it is about 55 degrees, the arboretum was eerily empty.     I only saw about 10 people during the entire two hours that I was there.  I drove the entire place, stopping at some of Ken's favorite areas.  Last March we had gone to the arboretum the week before everything shut down.  Ken loved to take photos of the daffodils.  Last year they were not even up yet.  Today I saw many green shoots without any flowers.  I did find these Snowdrops as I was walking on some trails.  

It was very odd to NOT see the "Trolls".  I knew that they had been removed, but as I was driving around, I found myself looking for them as I approached the spots where they had been.  

Ken and I brought Gwen and the kids to see the five large troll statues in 2018.  We thought that they were to be removed in early 2019, but it was decided that they would stay up longer.  Ken was sad that he didn't get out "one last time" to photograph them.  But COVID shut down the arboretum while they were being removed.  

I stopped and decided to walk a trail on Frost Hill in the Pine woods.  This first picture is one of Ken's favorite spots to stop.  There are some incredible sunset views from this spot.  

I walked this trail and the smell of the pines was just heavenly.  It was so good to be out getting some fresh air.  I was totally alone up on the hill.  I never saw another person during my half hour walk.  

I saw many areas where they had done "controlled burns" to refresh the undergrowth.  There were also many downed trees and I did see (in the distance) some of the workers clearing away some branches.  

The sky was so blue and the woods were so amazing.  It was the perfect day to be out in nature.  Again, I just couldn't understand how I had the place all to myself.  It seemed like a perfect gift, especially for me.  

On my way out of the arboretum, I saw a couple of snow piles.  And in that brief moment, I realized that we are still in the season of winter.  It is Chicago after all, and snow happens often in late March and even April.  

    

 I am so thankful that I had this wonderful, taste of spring day to get out and breathe some fresh air.  Most of all, I am so thankful for the chance to visit Ken's favorite spots.  We have been members of the Arboretum for over five years.  Ken was part of the MAPS group (Morton Arboretum Photography Society) and he spent so much time here, doing what he loved most - taking pictures.  

Going through this grief thing is really interesting.  I am surrounded by all the things that made up our life together for 46 years.  Ken's photos are displayed on the walls.  His camera room is still (mostly) exactly as he left it.  While I have made a couple of changes, these are small things.  Ken loved the Spring season so much.  He hated winter and waited for any sign that spring was ahead.  I think that is why he loved daffodils and tulips so much.  I can picture him now, in that place of constant beauty, no snow, no rain, no tears.  He is happy and smiling and there is a camera around his neck.   I can only imagine all the amazing things he is capturing through that lens.  Today, being at the Arboretum, was almost like walking behind him, as I had done for so many years.  Watching as he "sized up" the perfect shot.  Sometimes knowing what he saw, often not really seeing it until I actually saw the finished photo. Yes, I felt very close to Ken today, and very close to Jesus.  

On my walk, I was thinking of an old song that we often sang at Praise Services at my church.  It was based on this verse....

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace, the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands"   Isaiah 55:12

My time in the Arboretum today was exactly like this verse.  I could almost hear the trees clapping their hands.. And I went out in joy, feeling great peace.

Jesus, thank you for speaking through creation.  Holy Spirit you bring comfort to us when we don't even realize that we need it.  Help us all to go outside and breathe in fresh air.  Keep our eyes trained on you and remind us to see joy in nature as spring comes.  Jesus help to quiet us so that we can be refreshed and filled just by being outdoors.  Thank you Jesus for loving us so well.  Amen

Well Ken and I had a really whirlwind day today.  We left the house at 8:00am and just now returned at 7:00pm.  Quite unusual for us.  The highlight of the day was a really special musical that our sweet Lia presented with her co-op friends.  I just can't say enough about this wonderful co-op that Gwen and Tim found for their home schooled kids. 

There is something so special about watching our Lia, with her friends, put on such a cute performance with an amazing message.  The show was a 1950's take on the Bible story of Joseph.  She did such an incredible job as one of the main characters, with many lines and solos.  Ken and I were just shaking our heads at the fact that she is almost DONE with 6th grade and will soon be a 7th grader!  It hardly seems possible that she will be 12 in a matter of weeks.  We were remembering our own 6th and 7th grade experiences and then talking about Gwen and Doug at 12.  And here is Lia, our granddaughter, so grown up.  Where does the time go?

On our way "up north" (Gwen and Tim live an hour north of us), we decided to take a side trip to the Chicago Botanic Gardens.  Ken had been there last week and  currently a photo exhibit is  there that he wanted to show me.  It was another bitterly cold day - sunny but the temperature was only in the 20's with a slight wind.  The exhibit was held in a building that also includes wonderful tropical gardens. 

There were so many blooming plants!  It was a wonderful taste of spring that was so needed!  We had snow showers on Friday and there is actually 1" of snow predicted for tomorrow and more on Monday.  Being in those hot houses certainly was a break from our dismal weather.  

After Lia's show we took the very long way home.  Ken decided to drive through some of areas that both he and I frequented during our high school years.  So much has changed that we could hardly recognize it.  It was fun to talk about those "good old days" and see some familiar sights.  

After a quick dinner, we decided to swing by the Morton Arboretum to see if any of the spring flowers were blooming yet.  Sadly, it is still brown and winter like there.  The daffodils are up about two inches, but not very close to blooming yet.  

On our way out of the Arboretum several deer crossed the road right in front of us.  They were so beautiful and it is interesting just how difficult it is to see them among the undergrowth.  Since it was almost dusk, I think that they were surprised to see a car driving down that road!  

So, yes, it was a full and busy day.  As I was putting these thoughts onto the page, I was thinking about three Bible verses.  First this verse about grandchildren.....

Proverbs 17:6   Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

Yes, our grandchildren are certainly a joy.  Each one seems exactly like a beautiful gem stone that might embellish a crown.  They are all so different, yet each cherished for their unique shape.  It is exciting, as a grandparent, to watch your grandchildren grow into their destiny and purpose.  

The second verse that came to my mind was 

Song of Solomon 2:11-12a  See!  The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come.

Actually, I was singing a song in my head that is from Paul Wilbur, Dance with Me.   This song has always spoken to me and contains the line "winter has past and the springtime has come".  Right now this is really a prayer for the WINTER TO BE PAST!  

The third verse in my head was 

Psalm 42:1  As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.  

That Paul Wilbur song is all about being close to Jesus.  It is exactly what David was talking about in Psalm 42.  Even when he was feeling down and despondent, he was hungry and thirsty for God.  This winter has been long and cold and snowy for so many of us this year.  It has seemed dark and dreary for oh so many months.  We all need some of that hot house sprinkle of spring.  We need hope!

I'm closing out this blog with a stanza of one of Lia's songs from her play today.  Even when the winter seems way, way too long, even when those flowers don't seem to want to bloom, no matter what.  Here is your dose of hope....

When I hear... (boom) I know my God is near.

He won't leave me when the storm is raging.

When I hear... (boom) I know my God is near.

He won't forget me when the earth is shaking

Rain or shine, he'll follow through

cause all of his promises are true.

When I hear....(boom) I know my God is near.

Jesus, thank you so much for your words of hope.  Thank you for children and grandchildren.  Thank you for musicals and songs that bring us hope.  Holy Spirit, remind us to look around and see the amazing world and all of creation.  Remind us to look for you to be near us when things seem dark.  Thank you Jesus for this wonderful day.  Amen

Spring where are you?????

So here is the recent bulletin board I helped put up at work this week.   The kids made the cute tissue paper flowers.   I sure was wishing that winter was done.  But, alas, it seems not to be the case.   Today it is COLD again.  And I am so tired of coughing!  I need some warm, warm weather and some sunshine to help bake this sickness out of my body! 

This winter has just been brutal.  I am certainly not the only person at work that has been sick - over and over again.  The children have mostly all been sick also.  Everyone is grumpy and so ready to just be outside basking in the sun.  So today I am going to think about all of the wonderful things to come....when Spring really gets here!

1.  SUNSHINE!   Lots of warm and wonderful days that are ahead! Yes!
2.  RAIN SHOWERS!  Can't you just smell that wonderful springtime smell of rain on the ground?  I don't think that there is anything better.  I love the smell of rain.
3.  BIRD SONG!  This morning, even though it was cold outside, the first thing that I heard when I opened the front door, was the chirp of the birds.  Welcome back birdies!
4.  FLOWERS!   I have seen some little green shoots in a few places and I just can't wait for those early spring flowers.  The Iris, the Tulips, the Daffodils.
5.  KIDS!  You know, the sounds of kids playing outside.  The bikes and the toys and the shouts of the children.

Yes, I will keep my focus on these wonderful sights and sounds of spring and NOT look at the weather forecast for the next 10 days.  And I will remind myself that even if it does snow again, it will not stay around for long.  And I will celebrate that our yard is totally free of snow and ice!  

Jesus, thank you for the change of seasons. For the reminders that are all around us of your great plan to bring forth new life from the darkness and dead of winter.   Holy Spirit, help us all to keep our eyes on what is ahead, rather than on what is behind us. Jesus help us to live in the knowledge of your care and love for us all.  Thank you for being my healer!  Amen