Realizing the importance of the small things...

Today I brought a couple of things to Gwen's house that I had bought last year on the day after Christmas.  Included in that group was a package of 4 foam planes.  I think I paid $,50 for the package.  Needless to say, these planes were a big hit.  Zeke and I played with his plane the entire morning.  They are surprisingly sturdy (made out of a paper covered foam) that included a propeller that actually spins.  This was a great reminder that you don't need all of those expensive toys to have a whole lot of fun.  As a matter of fact, Gwen's kids are really expert at having great fun with boxes, old papers, a few crayons and markers and lots of imagination.

Yesterday I happened to find my Christmas Cards that I had purchased after Christmas last year, intending to use them this year.  Honestly, it seems like a daunting task to consider doing these cards.  So I confess, as of right now, I am not sure if anyone will be getting a Christmas Card from us this year.  Unfortunately, there are many, many of our family and friends that are not on Facebook and do not read this blog.  So it seems wrong to not send cards.  We will just have to see what the next days bring. Possibly this is one small thing that is NOT that important?

For sure, these last weeks have reminded us over and over what is really important.  I can assure you that we have needed each other more than anything else.  I have always appreciated my family.  We really love each other and have a great time when we are together.  I have learned that the most important thing is just being WITH each other.  There is nothing that we can do or say or express that will make Doug and Susie any better.  For that matter there is also nothing that anyone can do or say or express to me that will make ME feel any better.  But when we are together, just siting in a room, not really saying anything, there is comfort.  It may seem like a small thing, but it is so important.

I am so thankful for the presence of Jesus that seems to come forth at exactly the moment that it is most needed.  I don't know how I would have gone on these weeks without that very real comfort and assurance of Jesus with me.  This past weekend someone asked me how I have gotten through these days.  My answer was, "you just do what you have to do".  But the truth is, without Jesus, I don't know how I would have walked through this.  And without each other, all of our family, it would have been so difficult.  I have felt that covering of the many, many who are praying for me and our family. Every text, message, phone call or card has been so important to me.  You might think that these are just small things, but a text saying that you are praying for me....well, that is a BIG and IMPORTANT thing.  I want to be sure that everyone reading this, understands exactly what I mean.  YOUR PRAYERS REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  When you think that all you are doing is praying and that is just a small thing, you are making a huge difference!  And I would pray that you all understand the importance of these small things!

Jesus, thank you for your presence with us and the comfort that you bring.  Holy Spirit thank you for your comfort.  Bless all who have reached out to pray for us and stand with us during this difficult time.  Thank you for the reminder about the importance of little things.  Give us wisdom to know what things are necessary and what things we can let go of during this time.  Amen

Finding Balance in all things.........

I just love this picture of my three little sweeties.  This was a wonderful trip to the park on Easter Sunday.   Lia's stance is the perfect picture of balance.  This is not an easy task for Lia.  She is doing a great job, even though, it is work!  I woke up this morning thinking about balance.  It was a surprise to me, since this has not been a particularly busy or crazy weekend.   As I was standing in the shower, I was wondering why this word was so on my mind.  I felt the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit saying, "Just Wait!".  Interesting.  There must be something on the horizon that will require a "balancing act" on my part. 

I've been so thankful that I've been able to do a bit of balancing this year, as I have only been working 4 days a week so that I can spend 1 day helping Gwen with the kids.  The work/family balancing is really something.  It is actually very hard for me to NOT work full time.   Some of it is the financial aspect of it, but it just feels odd to not be always working.   I am so thankful that the job change I had in October paved the way for this.  It's one more way that I love to see the hand of Jesus on ALL THINGS!  Even those really hard things like a job change.  Now, to know that this ability to BALANCE was all part of the plan, makes it mean so much more. 

Then this evening I felt a bit of that balancing act coming into play.  I was ready to go out to a Sunday night meeting, but it was doing a bit of storming.  So, I wasn't ready to run out the door.  Even though I got a phone call from a friend who was actually AT the event I was intending to get to, I still just couldn't quite get out the door.   I felt the need to balance my desire to attend that event and this feeling that I should stay home.   Thankfully, the RAIN made it easier.    Then my phone rang.  It was another good friend that I had not spoken to for some time.  We needed to catch up!  Just as that call came to an end, another friend called me.  Once again, it was a call that I needed to have.   And at the end of that conversation, Gwen called me.   I needed to be home tonight to take those calls.

While I still have the feeling that there might well be a much bigger, more difficult balance coming my way, I am not very worried right now.   As a matter of fact, I just LOVE the picture.  The kids were so happy and having so much fun!  There was so much JOY!  I will remember that joy and be thankful tomorrow when I balance my way to Gwen's!  I can't wait for those hugs and kisses that are sure to welcome me in the morning. And I will seek to remember that joy, no matter what comes up that requires a balancing act that seems out of my ability.  Because, of course, it will NOT be too much for Jesus!  I'll let Him do the balancing!   

Jesus, thank you for your love and your care.  I am so grateful for my job and the freedom that I have to spend time with my kids and grandkids.  Holy Spirit, thank you for revelation and putting a thought into my heart.  Continue to speak and give me wisdom and grace to balance!  Amen

And here is a bonus picture of the adults and Anna (and dogs) also enjoying the park on Easter! (Hey, I'm balancing a picture of the kids with a picture of the adults!)

Where did the time go???

This evening I was finishing up wrapping Christmas presents and I don't know why, but I was suddenly hit with the passage of time.  I was sitting on the floor in the room that actually was both Gwen and Doug's at one time or another.  My scrapbooking room was the nursery - and also was both Gwen and Doug's room.  I looked around the room and flashed to what the room looked like at various points through out the years.  I was remembering when we moved Gwen into that room as a young toddler - about 2 1/2 years old - when Doug was expected.  I could see the little wooden kitchen that sat in the corner, as well as the kids picnic table.  Then I was flashing to the later years when Gwen had the walls covered with photos.  And then the last years when Doug had a full drum set and a futon as well as other various musical instruments.  I guess it was one of those "mom" moments when I got a little teary thinking about the kids. 

The Christmas Ornaments above are some of my very favorite.  Gwen's has a picture from her Baptism in October of 1979.  Doug's has his 7 month picture from November of 1982  I am glad that I have these ornaments on my tree.  I get to look at their sweet faces every Christmas.  I am very thankful that I get to be with my children and grandchildren on Christmas.  But, still, where did the time go??

There are times when it feels like just yesterday that Ken and I moved into this house...but gee it was 36 years ago.  And is it possible that Lia is 7 years old?  I have heard it said that the passage of time seems to accelerates as you age. And I guess I am suffering with that adage today.  Time flies when you are having fun.  Yep, I guess my life has been lots of fun since the time has been flying! 

Remember my post of a couple of days ago?  Expect the unexpected!  Yes!  So I am going to look ahead to what is in store in the next years.  Yes, it is good to celebrate and remember and reflect on the past, but it is important to keep on looking forward.  And not only looking forward, but walking forward.  This has been an unusual season in my life.  Things are changing and shifting in many areas.   But tonight I am feeling excited and expectant for the new and different and amazing things that are in store for me. In the 15 days left in 2013, I will be taking a deep breath (or two or three) and just being expectant!  I encourage you to join me in taking a breather in the next couple of weeks.  And during that breather, look ahead and expect the unexpected with me!

Jesus, tonight I celebrate that you are the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow!  Thank you for all of the amazing ways you have blessed me and my family.  Holy Spirit, speak clearly to me in these next weeks and quiet my spirit so that I can grab hold of the new things you are showing me. Bless all of those who join me in this breather time and give them wisdom and discernment for their own lives.  Jesus, thank you for your plans for me and my family.  Amen

When you need a mom's opinion.....

Today I have been so missing my mom!  I know that many people go through this at various times, and quite frequently it is something really big and important that triggers this.  But for me, it was not really a big thing, it's just the job change I am facing.  I really relied on my mom's opinion.  What she thought mattered a great deal to me.  I trusted her discernment and she was a great judge of people.  I knew that Ken was the right person for me because my mom and dad really liked him.  I remember my mom saying that she had never had a young man talk with her and be as open with her as Ken was.  Ken really loved my mom also.   That brings me to this memory.....

This picture is my mom's Aunt Mae, her dad's oldest sister, with her husband Charles Hanson.  When I was thinking about all of the advise my mom gave me, I remembered this story about my mom and her Aunt Mae.  Here's the thing, Aunt Mae was the rebel of the family.  She left home, went to the big city (we think New York but my mom was never really sure - there is evidence that she lived in Ohio), was gone for long periods of time when the family really didn't know where she was.  She returned home to St. Paul after many years, without her husband.  All my mom ever heard was that she had lost a child and nothing was ever said about her husband.  Aunt Mae and Aunt Anna worked together in St. Paul as "furriers" (creating fur trim on garments and fur stoles and fur coats).  Aunt Mae continued to work when Anna went to help their brother (my grandfather), raise his four daughters.  But Aunt Mae was that "fun Aunt" who would send amazing presents from the city.  My mom's very favorite memory was the year that they got the record player for Christmas from Aunt Mae.  This was a very big deal.  In the 1920's you just didn't get these kind of things. Well, Aunt Mae developed a lung condition called "fur fever" in the early 1930's.  I don't exactly what this was, but it was serious lung problem that cause her to fail physically.  So she moved in with her sister and brother - my grandfather and Aunt Anna.  And this meant that she moved in with my mom also.  My mom's three older sisters had already gotten married and it was just my mom at home.  Unfortunately, Mae's condition got worse quite quickly and it was clear that she didn't have long to live.  My mom said that as she was preparing to go on her first date with my father, Mae called her into her room.  She insisted on meeting this man that my mom had consented to date.  My mom was not one to go on many dates, so this was quite the occasion.  So, reluctantly, my mom brought her first date  into meet her dying aunt.  After a short conversation, Aunt Mae sent my dad from the room and told my mom that this was the man she would marry.  She was sure that he was the perfect man for her.  Remember that my mom had barely met this guy!  But my mom honored her Aunt's opinion so much.  When my mom and I talked about this, she recalled that this conversation had really settled in her spirit and she knew that my dad was the "one".  Aunt Mae died within a few months and my dad actually sang at her funeral. (And yes, she is buried in the cemetery I wrote about yesterday). 

 

So here is what I have been hearing today as I pondered this.  That old adage about "respecting your elders".  Well it really is true!  There is power and knowledge and wisdom that can be gained from those that have been around longer!  But, also today I have been feeling the weight of this, as I realize that my place on the family tree has shifted and I AM THE ONE that has been around longer!  It makes me realize how important my words are!  And I have also realized that I have Jesus within me and he is steering my course.  It is His opinion and His will that are the most important for me.  So, while I am still missing that "Mom opinion", I have all that I need.  And I am so thankful for my many friends and family surrounding me and praying for me as I consider what the next "career move" is for me.  More than that, Jesus is showing me that throughout my generations, He has been there and it is the Holy Spirit that has been bringing me to this exact point.  So, all those times I felt that it was so important to have my mom's opinion,  what I was really seeking was knowing the plan and destiny of Yahweh for me.

 

Jesus, thank you so much for once again, reminding me of all that my mom gave to me.  Thank you for also reminding me that you are guiding me and your opinion is the most important.  Holy Spirit, you are bringing revelation of all that we have in our generational heritage.  Thank you for reminding me that Jesus, you are the one that has been in charge throughout my generations.  I am so blessed to be in relationship with you Jesus!  Thank you for your care, and your love.  Holy Spirit, will you remind anyone reading this that Jesus loves them and is with them in their walk today.  And for those facing difficult times, give them peace and the knowledge that Jesus is making a way for them!  Amen



Sad Sammy the dog........

Last weekend one of my special "grand dogs" came to our family gathering looking like this....

This is "Sammy the Dog" - as he has been called for as long as he has been a part of our family!  We love Sammy. He was rescued by Doug and Susie when he was about 2 years old.  He is a sweet, mild mannered dog.   He has spent a couple of nights at our house on several different occasions.  He is such a well behaved guy, who just goes into his crate to sleep - all on his own.  Well, this week, he is wearing the "cone of shame".  And I just feel so sorry for this little doggie.  He has terrible allergies!  Boy, can I relate to this!  They already were giving him medicine everyday, but unfortunately, he was still itching.  In fact, he was itching so much that he has scratched all the fur off of the top of his ears and scratched his eyes. So a trip to the vet netted a cone and instructions to give him even more allergy medicine.  Look at those eyes!  He knows that something is very wrong.  He hates that cone, but it is necessary for his own good.  Several times during the day, Doug took the cone off and after a few minutes, Sammy would find a place to hide - and scratch.  So, the cone went back on. 

All week I've been thinking about that cone. That cone represents the restraints that are for our own good.  I'm sure that everybody can think of at least one example of a policy or a rule or a law or even a recommendation that can feel a lot like that cone.  For some people it might be the speed limit sign.  Or possibly it is the dosage recommendation on a bottle of a pain reliever.  Maybe it is one of the ten commandments that just seems to be asking "too much".  But today, I am seeing a little more clearly, thanks to Sammy, the meaning of "for our own good". 

For years I thought of God as that angry old man, sitting up in heaven, who just wanted to punish us at the first sign of us stepping out of line.  When you see God like this, it is really difficult to love him or to feel loved by him, for that matter.  But when you can begin to see how all of those "restrictions" really are for our own good, it is easier to understand how loving they are.  Let's face it.  That speed limit is for our own good (and the good of those around us also!).  Really, who would want to drive around if there were no traffic laws?  It would be scary and dangerous.  I am so thankful that Yahweh knew that we would need our "cones"(rules, laws, recommendations) or we would surely slink off into a hiding place to scratch! And by this I mean, getting ourselves into lots of self inflicted pain and suffering.  Isn't that the most loving thing!  Most of my work these days, is looking after a very active, very curious 20 month old boy.  I have noticed how many times this week I have used a "cone" of some kind, for Michael's own good.  I closed and locked the front door to prevent him from bolting outside without me.  I moved the knife holder to the very back of the counter when he decided to use the drawer handles like a ladder and climb the counter.  I put a very tired boy into his crib for a nap, even when he was saying (very loudly) "NO NITE NITE"!   Yes, many injuries and scary things were averted this week!  And Michael was protected - from himself!  I am so thankful that there are times when I am protected from myself!

Jesus, thank you for showing me, through Sammy, how much you love me and want the best for me.  Thank you for helping to restrain me from self inflicted pain and making bad choices. Holy Spirit thank you again for helping me to understand something that is really so simple, but at a much deeper level.  Holy Spirit, would you please remind us all that sometimes the "cones" are for our own good.  Jesus, thank you so much for Doug and Susie.  Continue to give them wisdom as they care for Sammy.  Yahweh, you are an amazing God and a loving father. Thank you for your great plan for us.  Amen