Preserving the past........

It's amazing to think of how things change - how different the landscape becomes with the passage of time.  Today I happened upon this photo.  I know EXACTLY where this picture was taken and the approximate year it was taken - about 1880.  This photo is of 165 W. Arch St. in St. Paul, Minnesota.  If you look at Google Maps for this address (by the way, what did we do before Google Earth satellite pictures?), you will see that address is now a railroad roundhouse! (Thanks to Chuggington - a kids program, I can recognize a railroad roundhouse, otherwise I would have simply said some kind of railroad station!)  This cute little house was built by my Great Grandfather, Ernst Toensing, when he arrived from Germany.  Quite an amazing house, complete with a picket fence, landscaping and part of the family in the picture.  The women holding the baby is my Great Grandmother, Clara Toensing.  She died in 1889.  The baby in the picture is my great aunt Lydia, who was born in 1880.  I have very clear memories of Aunt Lyd, as she was called.  When I was in first and second grade, after we had moved to St. Paul, we went to visit her in her "apartment".  That apartment was an "old age home".  She was in her early 80's and she loved when we visited.  She had a special place in her heart for my mom. Her daughter Jeanette, was my mom's favorite and closest cousin and they spent lots of time together. For me she was the closest thing I had to a grandmother, and I loved visiting her. She died in 1962 when I was 8 years old.  I am so glad that I got to know her.

Back to the house.  This house is very close to the Minnesota State Capitol.  As a matter of fact, you can see the capitol from this location.  One of the best things I did during the last years of my mom's life, was to take her on a road trip to this very location.  We found this spot and then we also went to see the church that her family attended, Zion Lutheran Church. (More about the church in a later blog)  We visited the cemetery, which is right across the road from the church, Oakland Cemetery.  My mom's family are all buried there, including her mom and dad as well as Clara Toensing from this picture.  At first this seemed like a really odd thing to do.  But now I am so glad that I visited this exact place with my mom and heard her memories of these places.  I would have lost much of this part of the family history if we had not taken that drive.  My mom told me that my Grandfather had carried my grandmother down that street several blocks to church for years because she was not well enough to walk.  She remembered her dad telling her about playing on that road and walking down to the church to go to school.  And then she talked of being at the funerals of her aunts and uncles buried in that family plot and remembering the funerals of Aunt Anna and also her dad.  As a matter of fact, the way we actually found the family plot was by driving around the very large cemetery until my mom recognized the view of the church.  She remembered standing looking at the church during the services.  And sure enough, when we got out to look, there was the plot.

So, why am I sharing this now?  Well, once again, I want to encourage you to share your family history with your children and grandchildren.  There is something powerful about knowing your roots.  And about understanding what makes your family unique.  I loved being able to share stories with Lia and Ellie and Zeke this weekend.  Just things from when their mom was little.  And also things from my life.  Lia and Ellie both remember my mom and this weekend, Lia asked me about my dad.  I don't think she has ever asked before.  It gave me a chance to tell her a little bit about my dad and Gwen.  I will be purposeful about telling them all more stories, as time goes on.  I loved being able to tell Lia and Ellie and Zeke that going to church on Sunday was something that had always been done in our family.  There is a connection in that fact that is super important.  It is about being a part of that Covenant family and seeing your Spiritual Heritage.  Today I am feeling blessed, once again, to have photo's from 1880 preserved for the generations.  I am feeling blessed that the Holy Spirit provided the way for me to gain information from my mom that I might never have had.  And I am so thankful for this blog, that is giving me a chance to share parts of my life, in the hope that it will encourage you to share with your own families. And as a further encouragement, if you can't tell the stories to your children and grandchildren......WRITE THEM DOWN!  It is never to late to start this. 

Jesus, thank you for family.  It is your great plan to bless us through our family.  Thank you for my family and the many ways you provided for my generations over the years.   Thank you for allowing me to share this with my mom and now sharing this with my children and grandchildren.  Holy Spirit would you encourage us all to be more purposeful in storytelling - the little things about our past that will bless and encourage and grow the faith of our children and grandchildren.  Thank you for reminding me of your provision to my generations.  Yahweh, thank you that you ARE my provision!  Amen

An unexpected, out of control day!

So you know how you think that you might have things figured out and/or under control?  Well once again I have learned that - guess what? - I am not in control of anything!  While I am upset about the current "snag" in my plans, I remember well, my lesson from yesterday.   I GET IT!   Jesus is in charge and I am convinced that He has plans in place for me and more importantly, he wants to bless me.  Knowing that, I can sit back, take a deep breath and let things play out.  My part is just to keep listening to Him.  I am sure that there will be lots of days ahead when I forget this, or slip back into wanting to have everything neatly lined up.  So I am trusting that all of my friends and family out there, will remind me that I GET IT!

And what I have been thinking about today is when Ken lost his job in 2002.  Let me tell you, that was an unexpected, out of control moment.  We were NOT prepared for this, in so many ways.  We circled the wagons (so to speak) and prepared for the worst.  Fortunately, Ken got a job in less than 4 months.  Nearly unheard of given his age.  Now we knew that this job wasn't the greatest - but HEY - it was a job.  He was very overqualified and the job only lasted 6 months.  But, once again, after an unbelievably short 2 months off, he found another job.  This job had a killer commute, but once again, we were feeling blessed that he had a job. Then, he lost this job after only 8 months.   This was much harder to take.  But we tried to stay positive and he faithfully sent out those applications.  Well, somehow, God was definitely in charge.  Ken got hired at a company that NEVER hires direct and only hires from temporary.  IT IS THE PERFECT JOB FOR HIM!  The original job that he lost in 2002 was stressful and not much fun.  This job that he has had for 10 1/2 years is simply amazing for him.   He never brings work home, rarely travels, has an easy commute and most of all - HE LOVES IT and IT IS FUN!  Several years ago, he was talking with his boss and asked him how he got his resume.  His boss couldn't even remember!  But I know that when Jesus is in charge, things happen.  And the things that happen are a blessing.  So we weathered that storm, we weathered the storm when I lost my long time job in 2009 and we will get through this job change for me now. And I will continue to seek to rest in contentment. 

Tonight I am so thankful for Ken and the rest of my family tonight.  They are affirmed for me, that this is a GOOD thing and that there is something so much better for me out there.  Actually when Ken and I were talking, I realized that there is a conference coming up in two weeks that I felt SOOOO called to be at.  Yet with working, I really didn't feel like I could do it.  Now, I will be able to attend!  Isn't that amazing.  And the best part is Ken really wants me to be able to do this.

Yesterday I received an email from the ministry hosting that conference... this was the tag line of that email.....
 "The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him." Galatians 3 Message

So, tonight I will be embracing what God has arranged for me! 

Thank you Jesus for your love and care.  You are an amazing and wonderful God that is arranging things for me.  Holy Spirit, remind me to embrace all the changes that are happening in this time.  Thank you for the blessing of my family and friends during this time.  Yahweh, would you please hold a place for me at that conference?   Thank you, thank you, thank you.   Amen

"Do you GET it?"

So my Grandma duties continued today and I managed to get all the kids up, dressed and in the car for church by 8:15am.  All three kids went willingly to Sunday School and I went to church. After lunch and nap, we went to the park and played outside on this beautiful day!

But since church, I have not been able to get the sermon out of my head! It was a very thought provoking sermon.  The reading was from Mark 4 - an interesting piece of scripture.  Jesus says that he is stronger than the strongest of evil ones and then he says in verse 26 that ALL sins are forgiven.  Then comes verse 27.  EXCEPT -(that killer word).  Except blaspheme of the Holy Spirit.  I loved how the Pastor set the stage for the explanation of this verse.  He spoke about the beginning of Mark up through chapter 4.  All of the miracles and wonders that Jesus had done.  So many crowds following him and pressing in on him, and then his own family comes to try to take him away, thinking he is out of his mind!  They don't GET IT!  And then the scribe comes from Jerusalem (the religious leader) and he says that Jesus must be a demon because of the power that he has displayed.  He wanted to discredit Jesus and make sure that the people didn't take him seriously.  He wanted to sideline Jesus.  Clearly he didn't GET IT!  So, that is the question of the day.  Do you GET IT?  The Pastor pointed out that often conversations are completely shut down because of the word "offensive".  Today, if someone says that our point of view is "offensive" to them, the conversation just ends.  Often people will want to reinterpret the Bible to make it fit their own agendas. They want to say "Jesus was just a great teacher" or "Jesus was a prophet".  But anything less than "Jesus is the Son of God" is just blaspheme! 

So "Do you GET IT?"  Are you willing to say with complete assurance that Jesus is your Savior and Jesus is the Son of God?  The pastor used this analogy....

Imagine you have a serious, life threatening illness.  There is a surgeon that has the procedure that will save your life.  He has performed this operation on countless people.  But you decide that the surgeon is really an evil murderer and he intends to kill you.  So you pass up the life saving operation.  You just don't get it.  You have sidelined the person who can save you.

Unfortunately, there are many in the church today who decide that a certain worship style is "of the devil" so they sideline everything that is happening in those churches.  Or possibly that popular television pastor who has testimony of healings and miracles. Some in the church would say "this is of the devil" and they would sideline this ministry.  Even Jesus' own mother and brothers and sister thought this!  So, I encourage you to let the Holy Spirit speak to you before you decide that something you have seen or heard about is not "correct".  Don't blaspheme the Holy Spirit because you don't GET IT!  And let's all be willing to shout out that Jesus IS the Son of God and He IS our Saviour! 

Jesus, thank you for being my Savior and my Lord.  Holy Spirit, continue to speak to me when I am faced with these difficult questions and things don't seem so clear or obvious.  Yahweh, I want to understand ALL of who you are and all that you doing today in the world.  Thank you for Fellowship of Faith and this challenging sermon today.  Bless them and their ministry and Pr. Dave, as they seek to help people GET IT!   Amen

A day in the life of a Grandma......being like a little child

Its been  a great day with my grandchildren!  Some how it is always good when I get to spend time with them.  Today was no exception.  First of all we went to a McDonalds playplace.  As they say, getting there was half the fun!  I haven't driven around very much since they moved to a new house.  I thought (thought is the operative word here) I knew where I was going, but low and behold we were lost!  Needless to say the kids thought this was very funny.  I just kept driving in what I thought was the right direction and prayed for a road that I knew!  I saw parts of this area that I had never been in.  Fortunately, we soon came to a familiar road and we proceeded to a different McDonalds (one very close to their OLD house) and eat and played.

After we got home it was time for Zeke to nap and Lia and Ellie got to paint some new piggybanks that they got from their Mom.  It was great to watch them paint!

 

This finished piggys are so cute.  Lia and I enjoyed many, many great games of Uno and the kids played all afternoon.  There was a brief thunderstorm, but Zeke was already asleep for his nap and Lia and Ellie were fine.  I got treated to a couple of really nice dress up fashion shows and dances and Zeke and I played trucks (of course). 

 

But the most amazing thing was the conversation in the car on the way back from the McDonalds.  We passed a cemetery and Ellie said "that's were Great Grandma Nona is!"  So that started a conversation and at one point after I said that Great Grandma Nona was in heaven, Lia said and that is a wonderful place.  So we talked about being with Jesus and being happy and being with everyone you love.  Then Lia asked a really good question.  She wanted to know if we have to "start over" as a baby when we get to heaven.  Isn't that interesting?  So we talked about the timelessness of heaven and how Jesus doesn't have "time or ages".  Then she asked me how the Bible got to earth if it came from Heaven!  Another great question!  This gave me a chance to talk about the Holy Spirit speaking to people.   Ellie asked if there was candy in heaven! I told her I bet there is because Jesus has promised us a banquet table of all good stuff!  Ellie asked "even ice cream?" (Can you tell that she loves ice cream?)  Then Lia talked about Jesus getting the bread from his body and the wine from his blood!  Clearly she is listening and beginning to understand Communion.  So we had a great conversation about that.  Oh how I love that these kids are growing up to know all about Jesus and heaven and prayer and the Bible!  What a blessing this is to me.  And what sweet, sweet prayers these little one prayed tonight.   

 

Tonight I am a very blessed Grandma.  I love thinking about Jesus like a child.  I love thinking about heaven and the Holy Spirit and the Bible like a kid again. And I love that I can have so much fun just doing nothing but sitting on the couch watching the kids play.  What a great day.

 

I encourage you now to stop and think about things like Heaven and the Holy Spirit and how the Bible came to be.  Take a moment and step out of your "head knowledge" and let Jesus show you, in a deeper way, what it means to have the faith of a child.  Step back from everything that you know and let the Holy Spirit bring you to a fresh place of childlike understanding.  I think we all need to do this from time to time.  Jesus said the only way we could enter the Kingdom was as a little child!

 

Jesus, bless us as we sleep tonight!  Be with Gwen and Tim and all of the youth that they are with right now.  Be very present to them over the next couple of days.  Keep everyone safe and in your arms.  Bless Ken and give him a restful night also.  Bless us all with more childlike faith and understanding.  Thank you for my precious little ones!   Amen





The destroyed art project and my day today..

So, I mentioned in yesterday's blog that I had destroyed an art project.  Well, I have had several requests to find out more about this.  Actually, this is one of my very favorite stories to tell when I talk about using projects that are normally used for children, with adults.  So here goes............

On the first night of the retreat I had a poster board with a "puzzle" like design redrawn on it.  This was actually just a free hand sort of thing and you can create as many pieces as you need for the number of participants.  As each person arrived that night, they signed in on a section of that poster.  I also had three questions that they needed to answer. One thing that they wanted to get rid of on the weekend, one thing that they hoped to gain at the retreat and then one fact about themselves that no one at the retreat would already know.   This poster was used as our "icebreaker".  At the end of the evening I turned the poster over and put the poster out on the "art" table.  The next day we created a group "collage" on that poster board,  using all kind of media - markers, crayons, magazines, glue, pompoms, etc - that represented a bible verse that was our "key verse" for the day.  Everyone did there own thing and then we all worked together to make it one meaningful poster.  First of all, it is so much fun to see adults using all of these art supplies.  And then it was wonderful to see these women being creative.  As the afternoon session came to an end, I took a couple of minutes to recap what we had talked about during the day, as well as to take a closer look at the poster.  There were lots of Bible verses scattered over the poster and many, many very meaningful pictures.  Then I picked up a pair of scissors.  I turned the poster over and began to cut apart the poster along the "puzzle" lines from the night before.  Let me tell you this group of gals went nuts!  One of them actually grabbed the scissors out of my hands!  I got a lecture on destroying someone else's art work.  But I continued to cut apart that poster.  In the end, we each were left holding the piece that had our name and answers that we had written the night before.  And then, you turned over your piece to see what part of the collage you had received.  This was truly a God thing.  It seemed as if each person got some answer to one of their responses.  I remember that I had written what I hoped to gain - closer and deeper relationships and the part of the collage I received had a Bible verse about friendship and also the butterfly portion of a transformation part of the collage.  I carried that verse around in my Bible for a very long time.  Additionally, this was symbolic of us joining together for this weekend and then going our own ways.  And it was our reminder that while we were individuals, together we were a powerful prayer group.  So there you have it.  I've done this project with kids several times.  And they are never upset that I am cutting it apart.  They usually get excited and can't wait to see what is happening.  But I would urge caution if you try this with adults!

All that being said, I need to vent a bit about my day with children.  I had several things happen today, all revolved around the fact that these children were not telling the truth!  Now, I know that all kids go through stages where telling lies is quite common.  But this was just ridiculous!  The most frustrating thing to me was that these were SILLY things to lie about.  So, I guess my current press to be truth telling on this blog, has impacted my work life.  I have a zero tolerance on the lie scale.  But these kids just are not getting it.  I explained that I can not trust them now because I will never know if they are telling me the truth. And this brought me up short.  Isn't that just the most powerful thing?
I want to affirm to all of you reading this blog that I am committed to telling the truth.  I don't want you to ever question if something that I write is factual. You deserve the truth from me, and I know that Jesus wants the truth.  Jesus IS the truth!  He said of himself, "I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the father except through me".  Since I have been doing this blog, I have been asking the Holy Spirit to remind me of any untruth that is in me.  It is wonderful to know that even when something is revealed, Jesus has promised to remove this from me.   I am so thankful tonight for the covenant promise that Jesus not only forgives our sins, but he REMOVES them from us.  And with all of the compromise of the truth that is in our world today, I am glad that I am becoming so intolerant of the sin of lies. And I am also becoming more aware of the sin of "omission".  You know what I mean don't you?  The things that we don't say or do.  When we don't want to tell the truth so we don't say anything at all.  So, I will be listening to the Holy Spirit and continue to move toward total truth telling.  And I encourage you to be open to truth telling.  I love, love, love the image of the butterfly.  That butterfly represents total reformation and transformation. There is nothing left of that ugly caterpillar that was dragging itself through the dirt.   Instead, there is a free flying amazingly beautiful creature that captures your attention.  Yep, I am so thankful that Yahweh is in the business of transforming us into His image.  

 

Jesus, thank you for memories of fun and fellowship.  And Holy Spirit, thank you for continuing the transformation process in my life.  Jesus you are the truth and I am so grateful for your covenant promises.  What a joy and blessing to know that you care about me.  Amen

In celebration of women's groups........

I think I am still sort of in that "funk" I talked about yesterday.  Today I have been remembering a very special women's group that I was a part of for about 5 years.  I am so missing this group right now!  It was so sad when this group ended about 5 years ago.  This small group was usually about 8 women, and over the years, we lost a couple and gained a couple.  So I would say that there were most likely about 12 or 13 different women who at some point, were in this close fellowship.  We met to pray, support and listen to each other.  Once a year we would have a retreat - a time of closer and deeper prayer, fellowship and learning.  I learned so many things from this wonderful collection of women............things that continue to speak to me - years away from this group. 

*I learned to be totally honest and open.  And in that, I found acceptance and love.  What a gift.

*I learned that prayer really works!  We had these blue sheets of paper with our names listed and each week, we would take a new paper and write the prayer concerns of each person under their name.  And over the years, so many of these concerns where taken care of.  And these were heavy, important things.  I knew that this group of women took these prayer concerns seriously.

*I learned who I could trust and depend on. These gals were always there for me (and in fact, some of them are STILL there for me!)

*I learned to not take myself so seriously.  These women helped me to laugh at myself and also to understand more clearly, parts of my inner self - my personality. 

*I learned to see myself as Jesus sees me.  And to know more clearly, the plan and destiny that the Father has for me. 

*I learned that sometimes each person has a part of the message that you need to hear.  You need to be in the group to hear the entire message.

Yes, this helps me see why I miss this group so much!  We had such a good time together.  Our retreats include some memorable moments of their own.  Let's see -  The hotel where we had 3 fire alarms! (After the first 2 we didn't even leave our rooms for #3).  Then the next year we were at a different hotel and once again, there was a fire alarm.  Another gal and I figured we didn't need to leave the building - we were in the swimming pool!  We had incredible worship, even though we used CD's and some of the most intense prayer and ministry time that I have ever been a part of. 
There was also the time that I almost had the entire group of women ready to kill me because I purposely "destroyed" an art project they had worked on for several hours. These are precious memories to me.

My encouragement to all reading this (and to myself) is to find yourself a small group - NOW!  There is a reason that Jesus had his "inner circle" of disciples.  This was his small group.  And today I am seeing the void that is in my own life because I do not have this right now.  So finding (or creating) a women's group has moved to the top of my "to do" list!

Jesus, thank you for surrounding me with women when I most needed them.  Holy Spirit, you know exactly what I need right now and you know those women who need this kind of a group.  Jesus, would you bring these kind of small groups together - not only for me - but for the many others who are feeling alone right now.  Thank you that you are in the business of relationships.   And Jesus will you bless Pam, Diane, Jane, Kathy, Lynn, Becky, and Kay, and remind them of our wonderful little group.  Amen

Peace that passes understanding

Isn't it always this way?   My last blog post was about needing a nap.   Although I was really tired last night, I had a hard time sleeping.  I fell asleep, but couldn't stay asleep.  So, as you might expect, I needed a nap today also! Since I am in the truth telling mode on this blog, it's been a rough couple of days.  But the really odd thing is that there is nothing really "BIG" that caused this, let's just say, a whole pile of little things becomes something very BIG. 



Isn't it awful when you can't quite figure out what is underneath all of that "stuff"? What is it that is really at the heart of the big pile of trash?  And more importantly, why am I feeling so out of sorts since there is really nothing "BIG" going on. I think that some people would just say that I have been in a "funk".  And that about describes it.  Today on the way to work (at 5:50am) I was thinking how much I feel like I need a vacation.  I know!  I read my last post about being content and this doesn't sound very content does it? 

 

Today during nap time, I was laying on the couch and trying to relax.   Suddenly, I was just filled with an amazing rush of peace.  It was warm and comforting and seemed to just flow over me.  I hadn't really been praying and/or asking for peace.  But there it was.  That wonderful, unbelievable "peace that passes understanding"!  As I just took some deep breathes and settled back, I realized that this was an answer to prayer - someone else's prayer!  I have so many great friends and family that I know are praying for me.  And today was just a confirmation of the power of someone else's prayer.  After a great 30 minutes just basking in the peace, the rest of my day was much better. 

 

So tonight my encouragement to you is to take those prayer requests seriously!  When someone asks you to pray, or you tell someone that you will be praying for them......... do it!  The thing is, you may not ever know how powerful that prayer is, that is until YOU are the one who is benefiting from someone else's prayer.  Prayer is such a foundation of the Christian life -  it is a two way communication between you and Jesus.  And when you are standing with someone else, and bringing them to Jesus, you are moving into another level of prayer.  I have worked with children for basically the last 40 years.  And I can tell you that children pray some of the best prayers.  They go straight to the point.  They understand exactly who they are talking to.  And they expect that their prayers will be answered.  I love having children pray for me.  If you have a chance, open your mind and your heart and spirit and ask a child to pray for you.  I am sure that you will be blessed.  Today, I know the source of the prayer that brought me out of that "funk".   And I am so thankful for "texting"!  Because I received a text this morning from a dear friend telling me that she was praying peace for me. 

 

Jesus, thank you so much for understanding and knowing how easy it is for us to fall into a funk.  And Jesus, thank you so much for good friends that are standing by, ready to pray for us when we are unable to pray ourselves.  Holy Spirit, thank you for bringing that peace that passes understanding.  Jesus, thank you for your covenant promises to us.  You are the King of King and Lord of Lords!  Holy Spirit, remind us all to pray when we need to be praying!   Amen