Advent - waiting and preparing for Christmas with hope

 This is a small "Village" that is actually one of the last things that Ken gifted to me.  He made a trip to Home Depot (I don't know exactly what he actually went for) and came home with this set.  I had never had a Christmas village and he decided that in 2019 I needed to have this set.  So it is one of the newer Christmas things that I display.  Since Ken's passing in 2020, this has taken on a different meaning for me.  I will continue to display this for many years to come.  My sister Julie had an amazing collection of "villages" and kept them on display year around.  One of her son-in-laws constructed special shelves to hold all of the different scenes.  After her death this year, her daughters each have parts of this village to display in their own homes now.  It is a great way to remember our loved ones and keep them close in these special ways during this season.

My tree is up and my Nativity is on display.  I have been playing Christmas music and doing some shopping.  But, if I am being truthful, it has been difficult to really feel in the "Christmas Mood" this year.  There is really no reason at all.  I have been doing the usual activities and have had many chances to see some very bold and busy Christmas light displays.  I have started wrapping  presents and shopping for those last minute stocking stuffers.  Still, it seems that I have been only 3/4 in the spirit of Christmas.  

Every week, I spend a day at Gwen's house.  The addition of this sweet little lady, Sunny, has made every visit more busy than usual.  Gwen always walks Sunny first thing in the morning, so I have also gotten a nice (sometimes chilly) walk with them.  The fresh air and exercise have helped to raise my spirits a bit.  And Christmas is on display at their house as well.  Any room that you sit down in, has a tree to capture your vision. The reflective lights and amazing views from their sunroom help to lift my spirits. 

Bing with Grace and Jimmy certainly helps, also.  I snapped this photo on "Red and Green Day" at school for Grace.  She was delighted to have a dress with "Red Roses" that she could wear on that day.  The kindergarten Christmas happiness is infectious.  Her favorite song is one that I taught her last year - The Twelve Days of Christmas - and she insists that we sing it ALL every time I see her!  This grandma certainly regrets that decision!

Jimmy is just in love with their Christmas tree.  They have (very smartly) put all unbreakable ornaments on the bottom of their tree and he has a few favorites that he always picks off of the tree.  I love when he hands me (his dads) saxophone ornament that I purchased oh so many years ago!  Maybe someday he will want to play the saxophone also! I snapped this photo (actually Jimmy was trying to take the picture) on my cell phone and Jimmy just laughed and laughed when I showed him the picture.  It was certainly random but I love it so much!  Jimmy is VERY TALL for 18 months and can reach every counter in the house and all the doorknobs.  It's an adventure every time I am with him!  They have a kid's nativity set and after the third or fourth time he handed me the manger with baby Jesus, I got him to say Jesus - or at least his version of it!  For the rest of the day, he would run to the nativity and point out the small figure and yell (loudly) Jesus!  So I guess my job as Grandma was done for that day!

This past week was especially difficult since there were two deaths that impacted many people I love.  The sudden diagnosis and death of a 41 year old Pastor's wife and the unexpected death of a 72 year old women who had struggled for years with various types of cancer are both devastating during this holiday season.  I knew both of these women personally and have talked and cried with friends and family over the last days.   Damian McCrink, the pastor who lost his wife this week, has a special place in my families heart.  He married Doug and Susie and he also did the funeral for our sweet baby Lucas.  All week, the words of my own blog from that time in 2014 kept coming back to me.  It was Damian's words that I have been praying back to him this week.  You can read my entire blog From joy to sorrow to hope by clicking this link.  I want to share just a bit from that blog....

Susie had chosen Psalm 56:8 for the service... "You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in a bottle!  You have recorded every one in your book."   Pastor Damian reminded us all that Jesus is with us in our sorrow.  And he said "Jesus will need a very big bottle after this event!"   Damian went on to remind us that God is not the author of these terrible events.  Death entered the world through the fall in the garden of Eden.  Damian reminded us that those that believe in Jesus will see our loved ones again and we will be with them one day.  And there is the hope.   

And I speak these words, now, back to Damian and all who loved Nancy so much.  And I speak these words to Christine's family and friends. And to all who are struggling with the lose of a loved one.  Just as it was in 2014, I go from joy to sorrow to hope.  I am so grateful that all of these emotions are okay with Jesus.  He gets it - he understands.  And for today, that is enough for me.  

Jesus, thank you for understanding.  You know when we are feeling sad, lonely or depressed.  You feel the depth of our emotions with us.  Holy Spirit, you comfort us when we cry and when we rage with anger at the situations that we can not understand.  Jesus you do collect those tears and give us reminders of your plans for us.  Be with all those who mourn, this week especially be with Damian and his children and his family and all of Christine's family.  Remind us all of the hope in Jesus!  Amen

A Thankful month ending in Advent

 If there is one thing that I have learned over the last couple of weeks, it is VERY HARD to get old!  I never gave my mom credit for going along with all of our shenanigans when she would come to visit.  These last couple of days have been so much fun, but also so tiring!  Yesterday, after the dust of Thanksgiving and the Black Friday shopping, and our family Thanksgiving  had settled, I decided to bring Christmas to my house.  By the time I was done, I was tired and felt every bit of my 68 years old.   It was worth it all, however, to share Thanksgiving with my family.

Our celebration began at my house, with Gwen and Tim and the kids coming over on Thanksgiving morning.  We ate OUR traditional Lasagna, had lots of snacks and watched the Macy's parade.  We followed that up with the Dog Show that always follows the parade.  Gwen, Lia and I went out for a bit of shopping at the only store open on Thanksgiving day.  Tim managed to complete a list of jobs that I had prepared with things that I just couldn't handle, around the house.  So I am especially thankful today for cleaned out gutters, new filters in many places, shelves that stay put, cabinet doors that close properly and a much better insulated attic!  Tim managed to accomplish all of this while we were out shopping. This "sleepover" at Grandma's house has become a tradition, and the kids really love it.  Gwen and I got up at 5:30 to begin our Black Friday shopping.  We have had some wild experiences over the last years, but this year was strange by NOT being busy!  In fact the second store we visited we were literally the only customers in the store - 45 minutes AFTER they opened!  Lia joined us for the second part of our shopping, and was able to find a great deal on a much needed winter coat. It was a successful, much less busy and rushed Black Friday for us this year.

We arrived at Doug and Susie's house around noon for our traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  Doug smoked a turkey and we had all the sides! 

It's a bit of a tight squeeze around their table, but we still all fit - with Jimmy in his high chair!  The kids had a wonderful time running and playing.  The weather cooperated and it was in the 50's so the kids spent some time outside.  Having a toddler and a puppy running around kept us all busy.  It seemed that someone was always following closely behind either a puppy or a toddler, trying to prevent trouble!  All in all, it was super fun.  I loved that Gwen reminded us that Ken always wanted to go around the table and tell what we were thankful about.  There was very little hesitation from the kids.  They each could quickly add their thanksgivings.  It certainly made my heart so happy!  

We finished the night with pie and ice cream.  So much fun and so many great memories being made.  

Today we enter into Advent,  This has always been my favorite church-year season.  I love the anticipation, the waiting and the celebrating the approach of Christmas.  I don't have an advent wreath anymore, but when Gwen and Doug were at home, we always lit the candles.  As a matter of fact, if you ask them about our advent wreath, I am sure you will hear the story of how I almost burned down our house on Christmas Day with our Advent wreath!  Our television cabinet had a burn mark for as long as we had it!  Today in church we sang Light of the World by Lauren Daigle.  The song ends with the phrase "O come, O come, Emmanuel".    I love that we began Advent with this call for Jesus to come!  Advent is a time to find quiet and calm in a season of worldly hustle and bustle.  It is a time of reflection, of longing and seeking to keep Jesus in the forefront of Christmas.  

As I was putting up my tree yesterday, and setting up my nativity, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for this season.  I feel especially grateful for our freedom to celebrate Christmas.  Many around the world are not so fortunate.  Each of the small (and sometimes big) traditions in our families are important and help us stay connected to each other and are a bridge between the past and the future.  As I was hanging a favorite ornament on my tree, I paused and thought about the past generations who had held that very ornament in their hands, as it was placed on a tree.  I am, at the least, the 6th generation to place that glass star on a tree in preparation for Christmas.  It arrived in the United States with my great grandparents in 1870 from Germany.  We know that they had received it from their parents tree and my mother was told of the importance of this star.  I remember my mom loving hanging this star every year.  It has been a treasure to me since she gifted it to me in 2010.  It is hard to believe that this is at least 152 years old and most likely even older than that! It is a connection for me to my ancestors and to Christmas' past.

Everything about Advent connects us to events that happened somewhere around 2022 years ago.  Advent is a great time to stop and consider this amazing story of God's great love for us that he sent his Son to restore our relationship with him.  It is a story worth remembering and retelling.  As we walk through these next weeks, resist the temptation to rush and get frazzled.  Take some quiet moments each day to sit and reflect on the meaning of this season.  Be still and seek Jesus.  O come, o come, Emmanuel!

Jesus, thank you for placing us in families.  Give us grace and peace as we celebrate with traditions from the past.  Holy Spirit, help us to stay grounded this season and to avoid being drawn into busyness and anxiety.  Thank you for being the light of the world, Jesus!  Help us to share your light with our dark world.  Amen

A hope filled future....because of Jesus

 It seems very strange to be talking about hope on this particular day.  Eight years ago today, I couldn't imagine a future filled with hope.  Our family was in the midst of a great tragedy, the death of a ten day old baby.  Even now, eight years later, my heart remembers the pain and the asking "why" questions that had no answers.  But Jesus.  Ten days ago, on Lucas' eighth birthday, our family remembered him together. It was an incredibly beautiful, sunny and warm day. The fall colors were amazing.  I found myself filled with love and even joy as we watched the falling leaves standing at the grave of Lucas Jacob Rowley. 

Seeing Doug and Susie with Grace and James, is the true testimony of "But Jesus".  For this family to survive and grow and shine with love, after this catastrophic loss is a picture of a hope filled future.  It hasn't always been easy, but knowing that Jesus has overcome death and the grave, gives us the courage and boldness to walk on into the future.  A future of remembering Lucas, knowing we will see him again one day, because of Jesus.  

This past week I attended my first ever writing conference.  While it was not easy or comfortable, it was very good.  It brought clarity to me and confirmed for me the Spiritual call I have to share my story.  I realized that this particular blog title could be a subtitle to my book!  Every generation on my family tree as far back as my great-great grandparents, lived a hope-filled life in spite of impossible and often terrible situations.  But Jesus.  After the first few sessions of this conference, I was ready to throw in the towel and stop even thinking about spending more time writing.  But, thankfully, I hung on till the end of the event.  One of the last speakers reminded us all of the Spiritual call that had brought us to even begin to think about writing our stories.  It was a reminder that the world needs our hope-filled words.  

Just before that conference, I received an unexpected comment on an older blog.  It was an anonymous comment that included the words "you should consider writing a devotional".  During those hard sessions at the conference, those words helped me hang on to hope that I was actually a writer.  That comment reminded me that I write because of Jesus.  Yes, it is a hope filled future.  There is so much ahead with Jesus.

Thank you for all that you show us each day, Jesus.  Holy Spirit, comfort all who mourn and grieve. Fill us with the love, joy and hope that we have because of Jesus.  Give us courage to walk in hard places and grace and peace to work through tough situations.  Help us love others when things are hard.  Thank you for holding us close when we don't understand.  Amen

Where has October gone?

 Here we are, at the end of another month.  I am wondering how I seem to have "lost" October.  For sure, it has been a crazy, busy month - one filled with family, friends and activities.  More than than, it has been a time where I have been re-focusing on all that I believe the Lord has ahead for me. 

The beginning of the month, I got to have a "Grandma Lyn sleepover" with Anna and Grace.  These cousin girls have so much fun together.  This two night sleepover was not long enough for the girls, who begged for another time to be together.  This was a great opportunity to get the girls together since Gwen and Tim had the other kids on their church Fall Youth Retreat and for Doug and Susie who were celebrating their 11th Wedding Anniversary.  During this "too short" time, the girls played, did crafts, sang and danced, we went to multiple parks, ate lots of treats,  and we ended the time at The Rock (Sunday School) and church.  I loved seeing the girls together.  It made this grandma's heart so happy. Waiting is hard at any age, so these girls will have to have patience and perseverance until everyone's schedules allow for another sleepover.

Somewhere around the middle of the month, I had a surprise visit from Gwen and Tim!  They were in my area picking up their new minivan and decided to stop by for dinner.  It isn't often that I get to visit with the "adults", so this was a real treat.  I got a "viewing" of their new car (which has some really amazing features that would take me a long time to learn) and we got to eat our favorite Chinese food together.  They have been waiting a very long time for this new vehicle since their current minivan is almost as old as Lia!  The Covid delay in getting new vehicles caused perseverance whether you wanted it or not!  

A couple of days later, I watched Gwen and Lia run a half marathon and Tim run a marathon.  It was a beautiful fall day, a bit "brisk" at the start of the day but warming up as the sun came up.  I marvel at the perseverance of all these runners, who train  for weeks to prepare for this event.  The fourteen runners that I knew,  did an amazing job, completing this race.  I loved standing on the sidelines, cheering for all the runners while keeping on eye on the younger kids.  

Now that Grace is in school (I can't believe she is in Kindergarten!)  it's just Jimmy and I during my once a week care time.  After taking Grace to the bus stop, Jimmy and I find lots of ways to have fun the rest of the day.  At almost 18 months old, Jimmy is really starting to play with his toys.  He actually spent almost 45 minutes one day, "cooking" pretend food in his pots and pans!  He loves music and recently has started really "playing" his piano!

I can see the change in him each week, as he grows from a baby into a toddler and soon to be preschooler.  His vocabulary has grown and he loves to shout "BUS, BUS" as we wait at the bus stop for Grace.  He is persistent and never gives up with each new skill he is working on.  This perseverance isn't always welcome for this grandma, when the skill is a doorknob or a child proof latch on a cupboard!  None the less, his stick-to-it-ness will serve him well as he grows! 

Rounding out the month, I attended a four day conference called "Favor Fest". I have attended many conferences presented by Chicago HUB and they have all been wonderful.  This conference was, indeed, another wonderful time.  There was a continuity and connection from speaker to speaker that is sometimes lost at a big event like this.  Each message built on the last, adding another layer to the understanding of God's favor as well as how and why to receive that favor.  I have a notebook full of notes that I will be "digesting" over the coming weeks. 

As I was preparing to write this blog, the thought that flashed through my mind was the entire month was a "Favor" fest for me!  Every opportunity that I have to be surrounded by my friends and my family, covered by the presence of God, there is always favor.  The definition of favor that mostly applies, is a kindness beyond what is due or expected.  I am so grateful that my family is close by so that I can have these amazing times with them.  The amazing speakers, the wonderful long time friends, and the new friends I meet at these conferences make HUB Ministries an example of God's favor to me.  There were many more, small things that are really BIG things that have made this a month of favor for me.  The next couple of weeks will be just as full and busy as the past month.  I have a three day writers conference coming up that will hopefully encourage me to persevere towards my goal.  

In all honesty, this has also been a month of my procrastination.  I have found so many reasons to not write, as evidenced by the delay in this blog.  I have also been SLOWLY writing, when this should be a time when I work harder to complete my project.  A long time ago, a wise pastor once said "Busy is just another way of saying "Being under satan's yoke" - just being distracted from what God really wants you to do.  It is so easy to  find reasons and excuses for not doing the things that you know God is asking you to do.  In spite of my procrastination and my "busy-ness", God has been faithful to me and shown me favor.  Actually putting those words on paper has been exactly what I need to move ahead.  So I am setting out to make November a less busy and more productive month, and looking forward to continuing to see God's favor in the days ahead!

Jesus, thank you for your constant care and love for us - even when we procrastinate and fill our days so full that there is little room for the things you have asked of us.  Holy Spirit, remind us to set aside the things that distract us from your good plans for us.  Thank you for family and friends and time in your creation.  But Jesus, help us keep our eyes on you, the creator of all things.  Amen

Seeing the past and the future... one picture at a time.

 This photo of Doug was taken in at Ken's parent's house Christmas of 1986.  Ken's dad loved this organ and had learned to play after his retirement.  Doug spent many hours sitting here making "music", thankfully with headphones on to spare the rest of us!  When Grandpa Rowley moved to Florida in 2009, Doug "inherited" this organ.  It now sits in Doug and Susie's living room.  Lately, both James and Grace have been making their own special music at this same organ.  

Considering Doug's love of all things music, it is no surprise that the kids would love it also!  Grace is always saying she is going to be a dancer and singer when she grows up.  And recently Jimmy has found that two pieces of his wooden puzzle, slapped together, make very good cymbals!  

I snapped these pictures of the kids playing the organ yesterday, when I got to watch the kids for a few hours on Saturday.  Now that Grace is in school, I don't get much time to be with her.  So this Saturday visit was extra special.  Doug is out of town on a fishing trip, so Susie and I had a fun afternoon taking the kids to a special park to meet some friends. 

This park has a "Story Walk" which includes the pages of a book, arranged around a path surrounding the playground.  You get to read the entire book as you walk the circle.  Grace and her friend Maya had a great time hearing the story, while their little brothers just enjoyed the walk.  At 16 months, Jimmy is a runner!  When let out of the stroller, he figured out how to climb the stairs to the slide and went up the stairs and down the slide, over and over!  I don't know who was more tired after our two hour visit to the park - the kids or grandma!  

Earlier in the day while Jimmy was napping, Grace and I were "painting" some pictures from a paint with water book.  She was painting John the Baptist holding a dove in his hand and I was painting Moses crossing the Red Sea. We were having a great conversation about Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit.  And then Grace asked a really common question..... "If God is only one God, then how come we say that Jesus is also God?"  What a powerful question for a 5 year old!  I was able to use the water/ice/steam analogy with her.  There is nothing better than seeing the "light bulb" go off and that look on their face telling you that they understand what you are saying.  I told Grace that even adults can't really understand this, but we know it is true!  Later, when I was putting ice in my water cup to take to the park, Grace smiled and said "Are you putting a little Jesus in there Grandma?"  I knew exactly what she was talking about!  

These days with the grandkids are so special.  The pictures of the kids at the organ remind me of the connection between the past and the future.  Yes, it is the same organ in these pictures - 35 years apart.  But it is also that special heritage of music between the generations.  Gwen currently has possession of some sheet music that belonged to MY grandmother, Nora Larson Toensing.  She loved to play the piano and had a singing voice that could literally be heard for miles.  Gwen surely inherited that ability and has passed it on to her own children. Talking with Grace about the Triune God, is just another way that I get to share the Spiritual heritage of our family. I am so thankful that I have time to share with my children and grandchildren the things that are the most important to me.  

My best advice today is to take the time to be present with those around you.  Put down your phone and pick up a paintbrush, even it you just use water and a special paint-with-water picture.  Watch the little ones explore an organ or piano or dance with with them to a song on the radio.  Go outside on a beautiful fall day.  Walk that path and climb that slide!  Most of all, listen to the questions and have some deep conversations.  Share the things you love with those you love!  

Jesus, thank you for these reminders today.  Holy Spirit, give us all answers to those hard questions of faith.  Help us to enjoy every day with those we love.  Thank you for the change of seasons.  Give us strength to walk each day, drawing closer to you Jesus.  Provide the courage we need to share our faith with those around us.  Thank you Jesus for your love!  Amen 

It is a small world!

 It has been a reflective few days for me.  Yesterday my sister Julie, who just died in January of this year, would have turned 76.  And tomorrow it will be two years since Ken died.  Grief is a funny thing.  At the least expected moment, suddenly there are reminders and you realize that you just don't feel "right".  That aptly describes how I was feeling on Friday.  It took me a little while to understand exactly what I had been feeling.  Thankfully, I was able to connect the feelings to the facts of the time.  I miss both my sister and Ken more at these times.  It was also a drab, cloudy and cold day on Friday, which certainly contributed to my depressed emotions.  But then, Saturday, I had one of those "you just can't make this stuff up" happen.

It has been 50 years since I graduated high school.  Wow, it is really interesting to actually put that on paper.  The top picture is my yearbook from 1972.  There are eight yearbooks from Elk Grove High School, sitting on a shelf in my bedroom closet.  Four of these are Ken's (1968-1971) and four of these are mine (1969-1972).  I recently looked at this stack and thought, "Why am I hanging on to these?  I should probably throw them out."  On Saturday I was especially glad that I did not follow through with that and toss these in the garbage.  Let me tell you a little story....

Years and years ago (think 48 or 49 years), Ken and I had a small group of  "couple" friends who we spent most Friday or Saturday evenings, enjoying games and laughter.  Some couples were just dating, some were soon to be married and some were already married.  There were a few single friends also.  

When I think back to those evenings, usually we were pretty crowded into someone's small apartment living room.  I often think back to those impromptu parties and wonder about those friends from our early years.  After a short while, we all moved to new places, new jobs and newer friends.  So we lost touch with most of this crowd.  Ken and I stayed in contact with my good friend Marie and her husband Dave.  In the last few years, Marie and I discovered that her daughter lives very close to Gwen and Tim.  Pretty surprising since this is a really large metropolitan area and Marie and Dave lived in Wisconsin since shortly after their marriage.  

Part of the reason that Ken and I lost contact with most of this group of friends, is also a big part of my faith journey.  I don't know exactly how it happened, but several of these couples were part of the Bahai faith.  They had a plan to try to persuade Ken and I to join their faith and begin meeting with them.  We received several invitations to private meetings to discuss Bahai with them, we were given material and books to read and there was a pretty big push for us to join their fellowship.  I had been raised in the Lutheran church and Ken was raised Presbyterian.   While we enjoyed this group of friends and wanted to remain in their circle, we were not interested in joining Bahai.  I am very thankful for my pastor at the time (he actually married Ken and I).  I asked to meet with him and we had a long discussion about Bahai.  He helped me to put words to my faith and not be swayed by this group.  This was the first time that my faith in Jesus was put to the test.  It was a defining moment for me and helped me to move forward confidently knowing that Jesus was my true Savior.  Unfortunately, we were basically cut out of fellowship with these "friends" after we stood our ground and rejected Bahai. 

If you are still following along, here is the REASON for this story today.  This year, I decided to actually "join" Gwen and Tim's church - Fellowship of Faith.  Recently, the church has started a Bible Reading plan on the YouVersion Bible app.  Last week, out of curiosity, I was scanning the list of people who had signed up for this Bible reading plan.  I happened upon a very unusual first name.  I have only ever known (or heard of) one person with this name.  And it was one of those friends from the story I just shared.  I actually knew this gal WAY BACK in high school.  We shared many classes together and had many mutual friends, including my friend Marie.  Ken and I and Marie and Dave attended this friends wedding, held at the Bahai Temple in Evanston.   Shortly after this, I totally lost contact with her.  After a few years, Marie also no longer had a good address for her and knew that she had been divorced.    Over the years, she was someone who would come to mind and I would wonder where she ended up.  

When I finally remembered to actually ask Gwen if she knew this person from the Bible plan, she said "Of course, why?"  I gave her a quick back story and she proceeded to text this gal's daughter - who happens to be someone that Gwen knows well.  She asked if her mother had happened to attend Elk Grove High School, which was certainly an odd question coming out of the blue.  When the answer was yes, I was just amazed.  Here this "lost" friend from 50 years ago, is actually attending the same church as me.  As a matter of fact, her family is actually a part of my new small group "Table Dinner".  I had been at a dinner with her, talked briefly with her about her grandkids, but never realized who she was!  

What an amazing story of just how small our world really is.  When I messaged Marie that I had found Lalin, she was so surprised and asked me to forward her information so they could connect.  

The best part of this story for me is that I found her through a Bible reading plan.  I thought that I had lost her because of her decision to be a part of Bahai.  But God is faithful!  What a wonderful reminder that Jesus is drawing people to himself.  I can't wait to spend some time catching up with her and hearing her journey to knowing more about Jesus.  Wow, am I thankful that she is doing this Bible Plan with me!

Isn't it amazing who personal Jesus is?  This connection didn't just happen.  Jesus is in it for sure!  Last night I was considering this - that Jesus would care so much that he would bring this person back into my life after almost 50 years.  More than that, Jesus reminded me of this very important part of my faith journey, one that I had not remembered or even thought about.  Thanks to this event, my first adult decision to follow Jesus will now be included in my book.  I am looking forward to connecting more with my long lost friend in the weeks ahead!

Jesus, I am totally humbled that you would care about me and this small event in my life.  Thank you for using everything in our life to draw us even closer to you.  Holy Spirit, thank you for bringing me to Fellowship of Faith.  Continue to bless those that developed the YouVersion Bible app that has made Your word accessible to so many.  Thank you Jesus, for being with me as I grieve Julie and Ken.  Holy Spirit, comfort all who mourn.  Thank you Jesus for your plans and purposes for each of us.  Amen

Behind the scenes (for a really long time)...

I have been doing this blog since May, 2013. There are, in fact 842 blog posts that have been read an astonishing 74.1 million times, by people in more than 26 countries.  I never expected that people would read these posts and I never expected to see this blog still happening in 2022.  I have never really shared exactly how and why this blog even came into being.  So, I think it is finally time to share a deeper view into the last more than 9 years.  It is time to finally admit to the world (and myself,) "I am a writer". 

Several years before the beginning of this blog, I had thought about, talked about and considered writing.  While not that unusual, it was really out of my "wheelhouse" - not something that I had ever thought I would do.  In the 1990's and early 2000's I had spent time creating curriculum for children's programing that had proved to be quite successful.  One of my pastors at the time, had encouraged me to try to get some of this material published.  However, during that season of my life, I had neither the time or the money to do that.  I love to read and have spent much time with a book in my hands.  Many a night I didn't get enough sleep because I just couldn't put that book down!  Some of my earliest memories are at a public library.  I had my own library card at 6 years old!  Something that was not common in 1960.  While I loved books, I really didn't consider writing one.  

Soon after my mom died in 2011, I had a very vivid dream in which my mom appeared.  She gave me a golden tray with a pen on it and she said "You must write it".  This was the first dream I had about my mom since her death and it was very real.  I had been kicking around the idea of starting a blog (which was very popular in 2012) but I just couldn't arrive at a catchy name for my blog.  After several months of trying to figure out a name, Gwen told me "Just start the blog under your own name!  Who cares what it is called!"  So, I obediently set out as a new blogger.  In those early years, Google was sharing blogs opening across many platforms and I suddenly had readers from all over the world.  It was an encouragement to continue to put my thoughts, my ideas - my life into these blogs.  They became a diary of sorts, that I knew would be passed on to my grandchildren and that seemed like enough reason to continue  to write them. 

The idea that there was more to the writing than a blog, never left me.  I started to feel that the story I needed to write was about my grandparents - my mother's parents.  Because I really didn't have much information about them or their early life, it seemed to me that it would be a fictional story based on their life.  So I sat down at my computer and suddenly the pages were filled with words.  When I closed my computer that first day, I had no idea where it would lead me.  The next time I opened that document, I was stunned to read the words that I had written. And the outline of this story just flooded my mind.  However, it just seemed like some kind of silly thing.  Really, who actually writes a book? Certainly not me.  I wrote a few pages, here and there.  I would open the document, read a few pages, write a couple paragraphs and then close the document.  Gwen has never stopped encouraging me to keep on writing. I certainly needed that encouragement.  

Last Thursday I was invited to dinner by my distant cousin Dave Anderson and his wife, Carolyn.  He and I connected several years ago through a family Facebook group.  Due to Covid it has been years since we have talked.  At our dinner, Dave was excited to share with me that he had been thinking that possibly I should write a book about our common family - my dad's parents!  He had no idea that I was currently writing about my mom's parents.  

So, here we are now in 2022.  I have the first part of a three part book, mostly written.  I have begun writing part two and part three.  In the last few weeks, additional book ideas have more or less fallen into my lap.  I have begun to get serious about writing, joining some writing groups and registering for conferences.  I have been thinking about who might read the book I am writing.  I have been considering what should be added and subtracted from the words already on the pages.  Not many people know that I have been writing a book.  Very few know the story line of these writings.  But it seems very real to me, all of a sudden.  Now, you all know!

Behind this entire writing project is the sure knowledge that Jesus is in it all.  It was a prompting from the Holy Spirit, that even had me considering writing this blog.  I knew that I wanted to share the amazing way that Jesus was living and active in and through me.  The very idea and story line of this book was a revelation of the Holy Spirit.  One thing is certain, for reasons that I can't understand, I am a writer.  Over the next few weeks, months and (most likely) years, I will need to keep reminding myself, I am a writer!  

Jesus, thank you for your plans and purposes for each of us that you have had since before we were born.  Holy Spirit, help us to be open to the ways you choose to use us, even when they seem so out of possibility.  Jesus, you are a God of the impossible!  Thank you for continuing to provide the nudges that we need to fulfill your plans for us.  Give us courage to walk out these plans without fearing what people will think.  Thank you for your love and care for each of us.  Amen