going forward....through Thanksgiving

So here it is, the evening of "Black Friday".  And what I am feeling right now is an odd mixture of tired, glad that the holiday is over, with a bit of thankfulness thrown in.  This was a very different and extremely tough holiday for our family.  It was not one of those unexpected "waves" that I've been talking about.  No, it was an EXPECTED hard event that could not be avoided or just forgotten.  As a family, we did what we have been doing..... we put one foot in front of the other and walked through Thanksgiving.  As difficult as it was for me, I really can't imagine what Susie and Doug were experiencing.  For the last few years, Gwen and Tim and the kids have been staying overnight at our house a couple of nights.   Gwen and Tim have run a 5K race early on Thanksgiving morning a couple of years now, so it has worked out that we can watch the kids while they run the race.  Gwen and I have been "Black Friday" shopping together for at least 13 years (we aren't sure exactly when my mom stopped visiting us at Thanksgiving, which is when Gwen started shopping with me).  For Gwen's family this yearly shopping trip is an important money saving event.  The purchases always include birthday gifts for each of the kids for the next year, as well as a supply of "random birthday gifts" for all of those invitations that arrive home from school for friend's birthdays.  There really are many great money saving deals on this day.  So we proceeded with our "normal" plans.  The kids really look forward to having a "sleepover" at Grandma Lyn and Grandpa's house.  And I admit it is a very special time for me also.  In spite of the bitter cold (like single digits!) Gwen and Tim ran the 5K.  And the kids and I stayed in the nice warm house and did this....

Really, is there anything better than Play Do Therapy?  We had a great time.  I even let the kids mix the colors!  Who cares when you have 8 cans of stuff that only cost $2.00?  (Thanks 5 Below).  When Gwen and Tim got home from the race, the planning began for our big shopping trip.

Don't you just love that Anna was giving her mommy and daddy some help reading the ads?  Gwen is calling out the items to put on the list, and Tim is dutifully typing them into the computer.  Yes, we are VERY organized.  We take this shopping event seriously.  I know that there is a LOT of controversy about shopping on Thanksgiving, but for Gwen and I, it is really a Godsend.  It is so much easier to leave the house at 3:30 in the afternoon, hit 5 or 6 stores and be home by 9:30pm.  That way we can easily get up at 5:30am to begin "Black Friday" shopping at the remaining 3 or 4 stores.  Let me tell you that going out at 11:30pm when the stores opened at Midnight was HARD!  And even worse was getting up at 3:30am or 4:00am  when the stores were opening in the middle of the night.  The current set up is just so much better.  Thankfully, Gwen and I made good choices on the order of the stores and we were able to purchase almost all of the items on her list.  We made the choice to stand in a line (outside, in the cold and it was snowing!) at Toys R Us for about an hour before they opened.  But this strategy allowed us to be in the first group of shoppers in the door.  We got EVERYTHING on Gwen's long list, and were checked out and in the car heading to our next stop in 15 minutes.  Yes... 15 minutes!  For the most part, people were friendly, helpful and kind. This morning, at our first stop we actually stayed in the car until the doors were open.  And we STILL got everything on our lists.  The only negative to this stop was the lack of a shopping cart!  It is really amazing how much stuff you can carry if you have to!   We were home by 9:30 this morning with our shopping complete.

To complete our "normal" Thanksgiving, we all went to Doug and Susie's house for our turkey dinner.  Usually Doug and Susie do the bulk of the cooking with Doug smoking the turkey.  This year, Doug still wanted to make the turkey (inside) but we brought the rest of the meal.  I am sure this was still quite difficult for Doug and Susie, but as I said, we are all moving forward.  It was good to sit around their table and share this wonderful meal.  I think we all needed this time together.  It was important to all of us to pray together our family mealtime grace....

"Come Lord Jesus, be our guest, and let these gifts to us be blessed, Amen"

If there was ever a time that we all needed Jesus to be there with us, it was today as we were so missing precious Lucas.  We also needed to express - out loud - that we have been given so many gifts that are a blessing to us.  Usually we talk about all that we are thankful for during this meal.  But this year it was enough that we were sitting together, in a warm house, eating good food.  I know that Jesus was sitting with us at that table.  I could feel His presence so clearly.  After we finished eating, we all went back to the family room to let our food settle a bit before desert.  Anna had been fussy all day and had not slept well at all.  Gwen discovered the reason.....her first tooth had popped through! Susie picked up Anna and to distract her, gave her a set of keys that were on the table.  Anna just relaxed in Susie's arms and laid back to look up at Doug, who was sitting next to Susie.  Within a few moments, Anna was peacefully sleeping.  Anna rarely will sleep in someone's arms.  She just doesn't do this.  I was sitting next to Susie on the couch and realized that I was holding my breath.  Only Jesus could have arranged this sequence of events.  I can't imagine who difficult this was for Susie and Doug.  But Anna is their niece, and they love her dearly. And in that moment, I felt the peace of the presence of Jesus again so clearly.  This time was a gift.  And we were so blessed.

Jesus, thank you for your presence with us that is so healing.  Thank you for helping us walk on through difficult times. Thank you for guidance and direction in all things, even shopping.  Holy Spirit, help us all to welcome Jesus into every part of our daily life.  Thank you for pouring out your blessings on us.  Please continue to comfort Susie and Doug, and help us all to know your presence
with us. Thank you for your great love.  Amen

Time together....the most important thing

Yes, I am a "Black Friday" shopper.  Gwen and I have been power shopping for good deals for the last 10 years or so.  This year there have been so many "PRE-Black Friday" sales and I have been checking them out.  Given where our family has been in the last weeks, I haven't been looking very hard.  But yesterday something caught my eye.  I have been considering a tablet - something small enough that I could bring it with me for note taking (I'm getting a bit tired of trying to type on my Iphone).  And there, in the ad, was a tablet that seemed almost to good to be true.  So early this morning, I bought a tablet.   And before noon, Ken went out and bought a second one for himself.  I am proud to say that I managed to get the entire tablet set up by myself.  Now this is quite a feat for me.  And I am very pleased with this detachable keyboard.  I can use the tablet alone or with the keyboard.  So my Black Friday shopping began a bit earlier than usual.

The loss of Lucas has really been sort of a wake up call for me as far as "What is really important?".  I have been looking at the upcoming holidays from a very different perspective.  We have always had Jesus' birth as the central part of our celebrations.  But it suddenly seems much more important to find gifts for our family that are "event" type activities.  Things that we can do together.  If I have felt one thing over the last week, it is the importance of just being there for one another.  Being together and doing fun things together seems like exactly what we need right now.  I have the feeling that my Black Friday shopping will be a bit lighter than usual!

I have been thinking about our holiday traditions.   I loved celebrating Advent with my kids.  We always had Advent calendars and often other activities for every day during Advent.  For many years, I facilitated Advent Events for the families of our church.  Some of my favorite memories of these events center around my mom and her enjoyment and pure pleasure being able to attend with us.  She always visited us for Thanksgiving so her stays overlapped with the beginning of Advent.  As I was thinking about this today I realized that it wasn't the event that she loved so much, it was being able to be WITH us - the experience - with our family.  She loved all of the preparations that I had to do.  The cutting and planning and tracing and sorting.  Again, because she was doing this all with me.  I don't know how I have missed seeing this, but suddenly it seems very clear.   The most important thing is being together.  It doesn't matter what you are doing..... it is just having those you love close by.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my mom with Gwen and Doug.  We all loved when my mom came to visit.  It was one of the highlights of our year.  Of course, mom and I also did our share of Black Friday shopping.  There was one year we nearly froze in a bitter wind, waiting outside of a Sears store for a big buy one get one free sale.  And there was also the year that we went to Zayre's at midnight for a special big sale (those sleeping bags my mom got for Doug and Gwen were used for many, many years).  So I guess that I can now appreciate my Black Friday shopping with Gwen since we are loving it together!

Let's face it.  Relationships are what really matters.   Really being with people matters more than anything else.   And the same is especially true about Jesus.  Having a bunch of head knowledge about Jesus, knowing facts from the Bible, understanding who Jesus is, are all important things.  But without really KNOWING Jesus, you are missing out.  Yesterday I talked about prayer and how important it is.  Actually, prayer should be like talking to a good friend on the phone.  Spending time talking and listening to Jesus is really important.   Just spending time together, that is the most important thing.   Being together and feeling the love. And the good news is that Jesus is always available to be with us and He will always surround you with his love.  There is nothing better.

I realize that the beginning of this blog doesn't seem to connect with the rest!  What I mean is that I started off talking about a THING that I bought - while shopping! And I know that this seems contrary to the ending of this blog.  But it is not about the shopping, it is about the AMOUNT of shopping and the REASON for shopping that matters.   I don't think this year will be about more stuff at great prices. I will be thinking about how thankful I am to be spending time with Gwen.  I will be giving more hugs to every family member.  I will be grateful for warmth and comfort in our home.  There will be joy in just being together.  And I will be thankful for new, advanced technology that allows me to journal and blog on my new tablet.   Most of all, I am thankful for a God that wants a personal relationship with each one of us.  There is simply no better gift.

Jesus, thank you for helping me to understand what is really important.  Thank you for memories of shared times with my mom.  Holy Spirit, help us all to cherish times with family and friends.  Keep our eyes focused on what is really important.  Holy Spirit thank you for reminding me that relationships are what counts.   Amen

Day 28 and 29 - Just plain thankful!

It's been a busy couple of days.   Yesterday was Thanksgiving at our house.  A good time was had by all!  As my status update yesterday said..... Thankful for Family, Food and Fun!. 

With everyone assembled at our house, we didn't really do much.  We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (actually we watched it twice - it was rebroadcast and the kids wanted to watch again!).  We snacked and looked at all the Black Friday sale ads and made our lists.  And we ate turkey, of course!  We also got to play many, many games of "Thanksgiving Bingo"!  This was a fun and easy version that Gwen found on Pintrest.  It kept all of us busy for many hours.  It took me over 15 games to finally win one, but it was great fun.  By 3:00pm the turkey was eaten, the dishes were done, the lists were assembled.  At 3:30pm, Gwen and I headed out to our first store. 

Now I know that shopping on Thanksgiving day is controversial this year.  But let me just say that Gwen and I anticipate and long for this day for the entire year.  It is one of the best times that we have together.  I am a bit confused about the drama of "working" on this particular day since Policemen, Fireman, Bus Drivers, Pilots, Taxi Drivers, Doctors, Nurses (and many other people) ALWAYS have to work on these days. So, really, whats the big deal? But, on with my story.

This year Gwen and I did three stores (Michaels, Walmart and Target).  We got everything on our lists, never waited outside in a line (it was only 20 so it would have been COLD!), and were home by 8:30pm!  We then were able to be in bed by 10:00. (As a side note, Gwen didn't really get much sleep. With three kids and a dog, plus two adults in one room......well, you get the picture.  Add to that, she is about 30 weeks pregnant).  So, since we were up at 5:30am, we left for part two of our adventure.  We managed to hit two more stores and the outlet mall and were home by 9:45am.  Again, got everything on our lists and never waited in a line in the cold.  Yep, I'd say we have lots to be thankful for!  

Now, for today's thankfulness.........  I am very thankful for Chandler, the dog!  Chandler is Gwen and Tim's dog.  A very sweet beagle that they rescued.  I was in the back yard walking Chandler this afternoon when I happened to notice something laying in the park quite a ways down a hill from our yard.  I walked down, grabbed what turned out to be a  piece of siding and turned around to look up at our house (not a view that we normally have) and was stunned to see a hunk of siding ripped off of the side of our house!  Yep that wind last week must have broken it loose and Wednesday's gusts must have torn it off.  So, right now I am so thankful that Chandler was visiting and that I decided to walk back there with him.  Because of that, I have the piece of siding.  We were able to call some local people and we hope to get this fixed quickly.   I am doubly thankful that I found that piece of siding.  Our house is 36 years old and I know that they would never match this old stuff.  Most likely a re-siding job is also in our future, but for now, greatly thankful!

Yes, a very busy couple of days filled with gratitude at every turn.

Jesus, thank you for the times we have to stop and really notice all of the things that we have to be thankful for.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the prompting to step outside and watch Chandler and enjoy the crisp sunny day AND find the siding.  Jesus you are an amazing provider and I am so grateful for all the different ways that you provided for my family in the last couple of days.  Thank you for all the people who worked on this Thanksgiving.  Pour out your blessings on them and their families as they celebrate Thanksgiving on some other day or time.  What an amazing God you are to help us in every way - big and small.  Thank you Jesus.  Amen

Day 24 - Thankful for a crazy shopping trip!

I just love how the Holy Spirit will remind you of things, if you just stop and ask!  Last night I had one of those nights where I wasn't sleeping very well and I seemed to go from one dream to another.  At one point I woke up and was remembering a day that was very special to me...... November 23, 1973..... 40 years ago. 

Here's what happened on that day.  My mom, my two sisters (Karen and Julie) and I went shopping for my wedding.  We took all the kids with us... that included Amy, Nancy, Susan, Elise and Chris.  And we went SHOPPING - to Woodfield Mall - on Black Friday - FOR WEDDING STUFF!  Okay, were we totally crazy?????? I think so.  But in spite of the crowds, in spite of having all the kids with us, we found what we needed.  Julie chose the bridesmaid dresses from Penneys. Done.  Then we found my veil. Done. We went into one store and found the flower girl dresses. Done.  My sister Karen's mother-in-law Hazel, was an amazing seamstress and she had volunteered to make dresses for Amy and Nancy.  So, we went into the fabric store and found exactly the fabric that I wanted.  Done.  It was a God-thing for sure.  Looking back, I can't believe that we actually thought this was a good idea.  But Karen and Julie were both visiting from out of town and it seemed like the logical thing to do at the time.  I remember, years later, my mom and I talking about this and sort of shaking our heads at how nuts we were to even attempt something like this on Black Friday at Woodfield Mall.  But it must have been the right thing to do since everything turned out so great. 

I just had to include this photo of my niece Susan and I.  Hazel had enough fabric left to make an adorable little matching dress for Susan.  I was so thrilled when I saw that.

So, 40 years ago we had a wonderful Black Friday shopping experience that had nothing to do with Black Friday.  I am so thankful for my family and all of these memories.  And I am thankful for these pictures that help me remember this shopping day, oh so well!  

 

Jesus, thank you for my family - for my sisters and my nieces.  I am so thankful for all of the times, like this memory, that I have had with them.   Holy Spirit, thank you for reminding me in my dreams about that day 40 years ago. Speak to all of us in our dreams if we are not listening when we are awake!  Jesus, bless Julie, Elise, Chris, Amy, Nancy and Susan. And also my sister-in-law Thoralee!   Amen