When I really needed a nap....

Don't you wish sometimes that you could go back and be a child? Today, for some reason, my little guy just did not want to take a nap.  He was in his bed for a long time, but he was playing and laughing and looking at books.  It was clear that he just wasn't about to take a nap.  I, on the other hand, was sitting on the couch watching the video monitor, struggling to stay awake!  *(Side note - Yes, a video monitor -  I can sit on the couch and watch the 20 month old, in his crib and listen to him also!  WOW these new fangeled inventions!) If I could have changed places with him, I would have!  I was the one who needed the nap!  Thankfully, he fell asleep in the car and at least had about 45 minutes of a nap, which made the afternoon bearable.

This got me thinking about the old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".  I am sure that my little guy was thinking about NOT being captive in his crib and would rather have been running around, while I was longing for my bed!  I remember that when my kids were much younger, I longed for the day when they were grown and gone from the house.  However, when that time actually came, I was longing for them to be back home!  Now, I look longingly at friends who have already retired and image how wonderful it would be to NOT have to get up for work every day.  But, on the other hand, I understand the many worries of health and finances after giving up your regular income. 

 

So, today I am going to take 1Timothy 6:6 to heart - "But godliness with contentment is great gain". Because isn't that adage really about not being content with your present circumstances?  Contentment is about satisfaction.  Being satisfied with the status quo.   Not being envious or desiring what someone else has.  Also, I think that gratitude is a large part of this.  Being grateful for what you have and where you are at in your life. And we have so much to be grateful about.  The list is so long, that I won't spend the time to add the full list.  Family, friends, health, home, jobs and Jesus certainly top the list.  Yep, our grass is very green on our side of the fence. 

But what about the times when our side of the fence has brown and dried out grass and the neighbors looks green and lush?  Times when illness or job loss or any number of of things hit us?  This is when we need to know that Jesus is the one that brings us that contentment.  Even as I am typing this, I am thinking of that verse "when I am weak, he is strong".  And in these times of our weakness, that he, Jesus, proves himself to be our strength.  And our contentment.   In some ways, I think it is harder to be content when things are going well.  It is so easy to forget how much we need Jesus and His contentment. 

Jesus, thank you for meeting us exactly where we are.  Holy Spirit, fill my heart with the contentment of Jesus so that I can truly be content in my present circumstances.  Even though things are going well for me now, Jesus, help me to remember that I need you to be strong for me.  And Jesus, please give me a good nights sleep tonight so that I do not need a nap tomorrow!  Amen

Forty years is a long time......

Early this morning I realized that today would have been Ken's mother's 90th birthday.  And one of the reasons that this day/date is always in my memory is that it is a special day for Ken and I also!  Forty years ago today, we got officially engaged! 

I've been wearing this ring for 40 years!  You know there are just some things that make you feel very old.  And this is certainly one of those things.  This ring feels like it is a part of my body.  I can't imagine not having it on my finger. 

 

Now let me tell you a little about that day, forty years ago.  I did not know that it was Ken's mom's birthday.  We had not discussed it and I was certainly not thinking that there would be a problem when we stopped by their house to show them the ring and announce our engagement.  It was not a happy day.  Ken's mom was not happy about her own 50th birthday and she was not very happy about our engagement either.  I was totally surprised at this and really didn't understand what the big deal was about being 50!  My mom and dad never made a big deal out of their ages and they were both over 50 at the time.  It was my first experience with a very depressed family member.  And it was made more difficult because I was so happy! 



This is a picture of Ken's mom, taken at Christmas that same year.  As you can see, 50 was not old and she looks quite young.  And even though we had a somewhat rocky start to our relationship, I had many, many good times with her.  She was very artistic - in fact we have many of her paintings around our house (and so do Doug and Gwen).  She loved all kinds of crafts and I remember one year making Mr. and Mrs. Santa Dolls.  My mom had her set for years!  Because of her I learned to needlepoint - something I had never done.  She made an some amazing large needlepoint rug for our nursery -  that is the ABC's.  Ken's mom and Dad did a lot of international travel and they loved France. (Ken's dad speaks French very well.)  I was introduced to many new and different foods at their table - including artichokes and cold lettuce soup.  And, in the later years, she was especially attached to their dogs.  Around the time of this picture they had a little grey french poodle. Later they had several Bijon's, the last Bobbie, still lives with Ken's dad in Florida. Over the years, she had many hospitalizations for various problems, and years of smoking left her with serious COPD at the end of her life. She always said that she never wanted to move out of their home in Roselle, and she got her wish.  She died at home.  I wish that I had a wonderful story about her faith and belief in God. Unfortunately, she told me that she didn't believe that there was anything beyond this life and she didn't believe in God.  And this is the hardest thing.  Near the end of her life she desperately wanted to be reconciled to her sister, whom she hadn't spoken to in years.  They had fought over their mother's care and finally her estate.  Thankfully, there was a chance for the sisters to speak and finally, she had a measure of peace.  Over the years I tried to share Jesus with her.  And now I must remember that we are not responsible for others.  It is only our job to share and let the Holy Spirit do the work. 

 

But I want to encourage you now to be bold to share when you have the chance.  I passed up many opportunities to share from my heart and instead, waited till it was simply to late.  Is there someone in your family or neighborhood that you feel drawn toward?  Are you afraid of what they might think about you?  There is nothing more important than knowing that Jesus is the only way to the Father.  And that Jesus loves them.  So speak up and let those around you see and know the love of Jesus through you.  Let the Holy Spirit prompt you to share and care and express that love of Jesus. 

 

Jesus, thank you for reminding me about what is really important.  Thank you for the blessing of the last 40 years.  Father, it was your plan that brought Ken and I together.  Thank you for our families.  Jesus, surround Ken's dad with your peace and love. Holy Spirit, give courage and boldness to all of us as we consider sharing your message of the love of Jesus.  Give us the right words at the right moments.  Father you plan for us all is amazing.  Thank you for your great love.   Amen

 

 

 

 

 

A short life with a long Spiritual heritage....

 

On this really "normal" Saturday I've just been reflecting on my week.  I went back to last Saturday. and finding out that my new expected grandchild is a girl!  I am sure right now that you are wondering why the very grainy, bad picture above is even on this page.  So, here is the story of how Jesus spoke the name of this new precious little one.  Gwen and Tim had always planned on having four children.  As a matter of fact, Gwen had always announced that she would have "two girls, a boy and a girl" when she grew up.  It seems like somewhat of a stretch to imagine that a little child would know the make up of their future family.  But, in Gwen's case, it seems to have worked out.  Each of Gwen's children has a very special and meaningful name.  Names are extremely important to Gwen and Tim and they spent a great deal of time making the decision on the names of each of their children.   Lia - Aurelia Nora.  Nora was my Grandmother (my mom's mom that she never knew).  Ellie - Elliana Lyn Louise.  Ellie's middle names are for me and her other grandma.  Zeke - Ezekiel Timothy.  Timothy is for his father, and how he got the name Ezekiel is a LONG story for a later blog.  Earlier this spring Gwen told me that she and Tim had settled on a girls name, in the event that she actually had a girl for their fourth child.  The name is Annaleigh.  They would call her Anna.  Now our family tree is loaded with the name Anna.  It is certainly a family name.  But Gwen said that they could not come up with a middle name that made sense.  Then on May 17, 2013 - before Gwen even knew that she was pregnant, I had a dream.

 

I know that I have said those words more than one time on this blog.  But I frequently have dreams that contain a message or a word from Jesus.  The dream that night was very brief, but when I woke up I knew that there was a message in it!  I saw Gwen, very pregnant and she was standing holding a large photo in a frame.  The frame was facing towards me.  Gwen was smiling and the picture in the frame was the picture above.  While I was wondering exactly what the meaning was of this odd dream, I was thinking just that Gwen would indeed get pregnant and have a third girl.  Then when I arrived home, I went up to my scrapbook room and dug around until I actually found that photo.  And I stared at the names Ellen, Nora and Louise.  And then I knew that Ellen was the chosen middle name for Annaleigh.  Lia is Nora, Ellie is Louise and Anna would be Ellen.  WOW!  This is particularly interesting because Ellie's middle name is, in fact, after Tim's mother. Yet, she has the name Louise!  Isn't Jesus so amazing?  He can make sure that HE chooses our names and seems to work it all out!  So I texted Gwen that I thought I knew what Annaleigh's middle name was!  She wasn't even surprised when I told her the dream and the story. So I am anxious to meet Annaleigh Ellen.  Her name means Gracious Field & Light!   But I will be waiting until the end of January/early February to meet her! 

 

Over the last few years, I have been reminded over and over that there is a purpose for looking carefully at my ancestors. There is a spiritual heritage that has been sown into our generations and the seeds come forth in our life in many, many ways.  For me, my grandchildren are expressing the growth of branches of our spiritual family tree.  As I was looking at the picture tonight, I came across a letter that belonged to my mom.  It was written to her by her Aunt Effie.  Effie is the sister of Nora, Louise, and Ellen.  When I was in high school I begged my mom to write to her aunt to find out more about her mother.  For some reason she had never considered doing that.  So, she wrote the letter and we waited.  Finally we received a LONG and detailed letter that was actually written down by one of Effie's daughters.  By the time this was written, Effie was in her 80's and physically not well.  She actually died a year later.  But the information that she shared in that letter, has blessed my family in amazing ways.  I really believe that Lia has the middle name Nora partially because of that letter.  Effie gave us insights into who Nora was.  She was well liked, active in church and had a love at first sight experience with my grandfather.  She had an incredible soprano voice that was so powerful it could be heard several miles away (when she was singing in church on warm nights, with the doors of the church open). She chose to marry a man who was outside of the expected!  He was German and she was Norwegian.  As a matter of fact, when she met my grandfather's family, they spoke only German and she spoke only Norwegian!  What courage and strength she had.  She was very musical and played the piano and organ.  She cared so much for her family, that when her own mother died (when her sister Effie was only 9 years old), she brought Effie home and treated her as a daughter.  Effie told my mom in this letter, how much she was like her mother, Nora.  I remember that my mom said she had never heard that before.  Effie said that my mom looked very much like her mother.  As Gwen grew up, I began to see how much she was like me and my mom.  And really so much like Nora.  Anyone who has heard Gwen sing knows that she does NOT need a microphone to be heard! And she has so many of those same character traits that Nora had.  What a blessing that she used Nora's name.  Even though Nora's life was short, Jesus has used mightily, the deep spiritual heritage she sowed into her family. While she only lived 32 years, her impact on her generations continues on. 

 

Jesus, thank you for family.  Holy Spirit, it is amazing how you show us what is really important in our life.  I love how you remind us to look beyond our present circumstances and see things from your perspective.  Thank you for using this special dream to weave our new little granddaughter into the fabric of our family.  Father, you planned for families when you planned creation.  How wonderful and wise you are.  Help us all to see our generations as beautiful growing organisms.  And remind us that who we are and what we do, has an eternal impact. Thank you Jesus!  Amen

More to the story..........

Starting off today's post with a correction!  The Disney Junior "short" is called Fuzzy Friends!  And here is a screen shot to give you a better idea of what it looks like!

Moving on......So I knew that there might be more to the vision I had about the five fold ministry.  And I was correct!  Last night I had a dream.  In the dream there were five persons (I could not tell if they were male or female) standing shoulder to shoulder.  The tallest person in the middle was wearing a shirt that said "APOSTLE"!   I was glad that there was some identification because I was wondering (even in my dream) who these five people were!  Then just as quickly these five figures, once again, became the fingers on a hand.  The order in the dream was pinkie finger - evangelist, ring finger - pastor, middle finger - apostle, pointer finger - teacher and thumb - prophet.   (As an aside to Ken, it looked like these titles were written in Sharpie on each finger!)  In my dream as I was considering this vision, I saw a hand with just a pinkie finger.  And there wasn't much that it could accomplish without the other fingers.  And then, in order I saw a hand with only one finger.  The thumb had the most success alone, but even that was minimal.  Then, just as suddenly, I saw those same five persons standing apart.  There were large spaces between them and they were not looking at each other. 

When I woke from this dream I was thinking about how there is often separation between the very prominent, well known people in the Christian world. With all of the unrest and turmoil and shaking in the world, we need to draw closer to one another and support each other.  And more importantly, we should be LISTENING to each other.  Sometimes it seems like some ministry leaders get so involved in their own current revelations that they forget to listen to what others are saying.  I truly believe that it is TOGETHER that we have the whole message for today. 

So this morning I was meditating on this dream.  The apostle was the most prominent of the persons in the dream.  But even though it was the most visible, tallest, biggest - when they were standing alone, they couldn't do very much. The evangelist as the pinkie is the one with the least "protection".  They are out there on the front lines, making themselves vulnerable.  The pastor as the ring finger - known to be special because it is called the "heart" finger (a direct connection to the heart) - yes, pastors are the caring/feeling part of the 5 fold ministry.  The pointer finger as the teacher.  Yes, the teachers point the way to the truth.  And then the prophet as the thumb.  The thumb is the helper and the empowerer of the hand.  Each of the other fingers can function alone IF there is a thumb as a helper.  And each of the other parts of the 5 fold can function better if there is a prophet standing with them.  This is because the prophet brings accountability and keeps each of the other persons in line with the Lord. 

After thinking about this dream and the results of my meditation on the dream, I am wondering what Jesus is really saying to me about this!  There are many, many books and articles written about the five fold ministries, by people much more knowledgeable than I.  But going back to yesterday's blog, I am understanding that this message is really for ALL of us.  Because it is our responsibility to encourage those that we know who are Pastors and Evangelists and Teachers and Apostles and Prophets to surround themselves with the others from this group, established in the Bible.  I believe this is even more important that yesterday's message that we need to support the five fold ministers among us.  All of us in the "other" hand, need to carry this message to those who most need to hear it! 

Jesus, I don't really understand why you are speaking this to me today, but I am sure that you have a plan and purpose for this word going forth.  Father, I pray that you would encourage those operating in the positions of the five fold ministry to surround themselves with your planned support system.  Holy Spirit, thank you for giving me insight into my dream and continued revelation on this subject.  Would you give us all courage and boldness to share this message with those in our sphere of influence.  Give us the correct words and the perfect timing to share and encourage the pastors, prophets, evangelists, apostles, and teachers around us.  Amen

The Bone in the Stone and the hands on the rope!

If you have been reading my blog, you will know that sometimes it is the weirdest things that Jesus uses to get a point across.  Well, today was not an exception!  I was watching the half hour television program (he is only allowed one program a day) with my little 20 month old buddy.  During the middle of the program there is a "short" of a different little program.  It was called "Furry Friends".  It is an interesting program that uses real animals (dogs, kittens, rabbits, Guinea pigs, mice, hamsters) against computer generated backgrounds.  Today's episode was called "The Bone in the Stone"!  Okay, bear with me here, there is really a point to this! 

In this cute little program there was a dog who wanted to be the leader of his friends.  But in order to be the leader he needed to remove the bone that was stuck in a stone.  Of course, he could not get that bone to move.  All of his friends (think all of those other real animals) wanted to help him get that bone out.  The dog refused their help because he would not be the "real" leader if anyone else helped him.  A wise owl came to him and told him that all good leaders accept help from their friends.  Getting help does not mean you are not the leader.  So all of the animals helped him, and together they pulled the bone out of the stone.  In the end, the dog became the leader (the king) of all of his friends. 

I couldn't get this little program out of my mind.  In the short 30 minutes that my fussy, crabby little one napped,  I was thinking about this.  Suddenly I had a vision of the 5 fold ministries.  I was seeing a hand and on each finger was written one of these anointings -  Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor, Apostle, Teacher.  The interesting thing was I was also seeing the other hand!  And then the message was much more clear.  Yes, those that are operating in those positions of the 5 fold ministries in the body of Christ, all need the support of the others. They each need the input and accountability of those in the other offices of the 5 fold.  Just as the fingers on a hand must stay together, so should those called into these important positions.  There is really nothing new in that revelation.  But then I saw and understood the other hand in my vision!  It is all of us that are a part of the body of Christ.  If we are sitting back and expecting the Pastor or the Prophet to "get the bone out of the stone" on their own, it simply isn't going to happen!  They all need us to stand with them and help them accomplish the tasks that they are called to do.  It takes two hands to hold on to that rope and pull on that bone! 

So, I encourage you to look around, and find those in authority over you, that need your help.  Is there someone who just needs a word of praise or a pat on the back?  Or someone who needs to know that you are praying for them?  Possibly there is a ministry that you have been following, but never really supported (in attendance, by prayer or through finances) - even someone on the TV or the radio.  Is there some concrete way that you can serve? Is there someone who led a Bible Study that changed your life? They might need to hear your testimony today.  I know that I have a few things to take care of right now!  And, more importantly, I have a very different perspective on my own roll in ministry.  I know that I will be seeing those two hands, joining together to accomplish great things for Jesus!

Jesus, thank you - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!   I just love how you take the silly little things and show me something so important.  Please help me to remember this lesson and to follow through with my part in the tasks that you set before me.  Holy Spirit, please remind and encourage those Pastors, Prophets, Evangelists, Apostles, and Teachers that they NEED EACH OTHER!  Bring them together with a renewed commitment to be accountable and supportive of each other.  And Jesus, would you please make those connections to those who are operating "out of hand".  Holy Spirit, thank you for showing me so clearly, of how much you need all of us in the body to do our part.  Give us courage and boldness to fulfill our destiny for your glory.    Amen

Walking through the sea of rocks........

Okay -  honesty here.  I have had another one of those "rocky" days.  The kind where I spent moments going from anger to despair to fear to peace to rest and back again.  My job is ending and I am in the process of looking for a new position. 

Today I really felt like I am walking through those rocks.  Up and down and unsteady.  Some of those stones seem very unstable and it looks like a long, long, walk across those rocks. At times I felt like picking up one of those rocks and throwing it at something or someone!  One of the worst things is how I have been beating myself up, because I should NOT be feeling these things - I should be trusting and resting in Jesus.  Without Jesus I would most likely be panicked.  But I certainly have not been a picture of peacefulness. 

 

I know that part of this rocky-ness is because I am not really sure what I am supposed to be doing in the future.  I don't know if I want to work in an office or work with children.  I don't know if I should be working full time or try to find my "ideal" work situation of only 4 days a week.  Is that asking for something that is totally unreasonable?  Should I just find an office position and work a regular 40 hour job and just tough it out for a few more years.  Today I am SURE that I don't know the answer to these questions. (Note -  see my post on Sunday -  I am sure that there is an answer and I just need to listen more carefully).

 

I am sure that there is a timing aspect to this whole thing.  There must be.  I was thinking that I had the rest of this year before I would have to face this question.  Then I knew that I would need to make a decision before April.  And then suddenly, I have to find something right now.  This was not my ideal time, but I have the feeling that Jesus knows the timing and it is happening this way for his plan. 

 

I was thinking about how minor this whole situation is in light of so many other people's troubles.  There is illness, serious financial trouble (which, thankfully is not our situation), personal conflicts, really the list just goes on and on.  And then I was thinking about a "hymn story" that I heard so long ago.  "It Is Well With My Soul"   Click on this link to read the entire story.  I love that old hymn - "When peace like a river...."  Yes, he had peace like a river after simply awful tragedy.  At the exact spot where his four daughters died, he penned those words.  And those words came from the peace that was INSIDE of him.  The most incredible part of this story in in the link above.  It is a part of the story that I had never heard before.  Horatio G. Spafford and his wife Anna ended up with a powerful ministry in Jerusalem.  Once again, I am realizing how small my "rocky" situation is. 

 

But, I want to let everyone know that Jesus cares!  He doesn't view the things that bother us or cause us unrest as petty or trivial.  He cares!  There is nothing that is more important to know and hang on to that that fact.  He cares about my job.  He cares about my emotions.  He knows about those rocky feelings in my stomach.  Just as he cared about Horatio and Anna Spafford.  And just as he cares about you and whatever you are going through today.  And the amazing thing is that as I have put these words onto this page, I am really feeling that peace that passes understanding flooding my spirit.  So instead of just knowing in my head that Jesus has everything under control, I can say that I KNOW deep in my spirit, that Jesus has my situation all figured out and he desires to bless me. 

 

Jesus, thank you for caring about me.  Holy Spirit, thank you for reminding me of that hymn story.  Would you tonight, reach out and touch anyone reading this blog who needs to know that Jesus cares for them.  Jesus what an amazing transformation you have made in my emotions tonight. Holy Spirit, find those people who are in the midst of terrible situations and bring them that amazing peace.  Thank you for holding my hand as I walk through that field of rocks! 

 



Some doggy tales.......of a life-long friend!

Most people wouldn't think of me as a "dog person".  Actually, I really like dogs!  This sweet dog above was my childhood buddy, Trixie.  She was a wonderful dog that was a part of ALL of my childhood memories.  One of my very first memories when I was 3 years old was the day that my dad brought Trixie home in a cardboard box.  She was just a little puppy and she ran around in circles.  She was always part of my family.  That metal box she is in was her bed for as long as she was with us.  I also remember well the day my mom took Trixie to the vet to end her suffering.  She was an almost unbelievable 19 years old.  She had some kind of cancer, probably stomach cancer.  Even in this picture you can see that her muzzle is gray.  This picture was taken when she was about 15 years old.  She was such a great dog.  My mom had trained her to stay in the kitchen on the tile floors when she was a puppy.  And until the day she left us, she NEVER went in to the bedrooms.  There were times when we tried to coax her into the living room and she would stand at the door but never cross off of the tile.  She was great in the car and would just sleep on the floor below my feet.  I don't remember a time that she sat on the seat.  Oh how she loved the Lake!  It was truly her favorite place.  When we were about 30 miles from the lake she would sit up and start to sniff the air.  It was as if she could smell the lake!  We never had her on a chain or confined at the Lake.  She had freedom to run.  She would go up in the woods and explore and her favorite spot was under the trees watching the squirrels.  They would stay just out of her reach and chatter at her!  It was a great game.  At the lake her bed was a cardboard box under the couch.  Trixie was a great dog! 

I've been thinking about Trixie today because of a very noisy, barking, jumping dog that lives next to the new house where I work.  This little dog was barking and jumping for most of the morning.  From inside of the house, I couldn't really tell WHERE the noise was coming from.  It was only when I went outside that I saw that the BIG noise was coming from a very SMALL dog.  But that little dog got me thinking about a wonderful part of my childhood.  And also, a somewhat sad part of Gwen and Doug's childhood. 

 

This is Sheba.  Ken and I bought her from a pet store shortly after we moved into our house.  She was so little and she reminded me of Trixie.  Gwen loved Sheba.  They would run around and around the circle pattern in our house.  And Gwen would laugh and laugh.  Sheba was a good dog.  But shortly after Doug was born he began to suffer from continuous ear infections, then lung infections, and urinary infections.  And then he started to have serious allergic reactions.   The doctor suggested that we remove all the things that could be the triggers of these allergies.  And the dog was first and most obvious.  So we decided that it would be better for Sheba to go to another family.  Gwen often talks about the day that Ken took Sheba away.  She stood at the kitchen window and waved goodbye.  I am sure that she would have gotten rid of Doug rather than Sheba.  Even though now when Doug owns two dogs, it seems like a mistake we made, I know that there was a purpose in that decision.   Over the next 5 years, having a dog would have been very difficult.  With Doug's many hospitalizations, I don't know how we would have cared for a dog! 

So, tonight I am celebrating that Gwen now has a wonderful dog and Doug now has two wonderful dogs!  And I am also so thankful for both Trixie and Sheba.  I love that the Holy Spirit reminds us of the special ways that Jesus blesses our families - even when that reminder comes in the form of a very noisy neighbor dog.  In looking back at Trixie, I can see how she was a faithful and obedient friend, and companion.  So, since I have been blogging about life-long friends, I guess I needed to include her! 

Jesus, thank you for friends - even doggy friends!  Holy Spirit, thank you for those gentle reminders that bring us revelation.  Jesus, you are the best friend any of us could ever have.  Thank you for showing us devotion and love and obedience through our pets.  Jesus, thank you again for my family.  Help us all to be aware of the great blessings  you have given us.  Amen