The hardest transition I will ever face...

 It is very surreal to me that Ken has been gone for two and a half weeks.  In some ways it seems like a very long time, but then I will forget that he isn't in the next room.  I am so grateful for the kind and loving messages that all of our family has received.  We have felt surrounded and upheld by the cards, letters, messages and texts.   Mostly we have drawn together to walk through this transition. Gwen and Doug and Susie and Tim have been my rocks during this time. Over and over we heard..."Wow, that was so quick".  But in reality, it was a long process that, with hind sight, we can say was a two year decline.  Ken's last days were spent in our home, surrounded by family and friends, spending time outdoors, and looking at his prized photos hanging on the walls.  It was exactly what he wanted - no hospital, no tubes, not alone.  Gwen, Doug and I walked along side of him as he transitioned into eternity.  And now, I face the hardest transition I will ever face. After being together for 48 years, (married 46), it does feel a bit like losing part of myself.  

There are so many parts and pieces to the transition.  I have been incredibly busy in the these two and half weeks.  There are so many calls to be made.  So many things to organize.  So much clearing out.   I am so thankful that I have had the kids and grandkids around me to make things easier.  

Gwen and Susie brought the kids over and we began to go through some of Ken's things.  We all needed to take a walk outside in the beautiful fall weather and Gwen snapped this picture of the kids and I on the bridge over the creek in our backyard.  Being with the kids has certainly helped make this time better. I got to watch Grace at her house for a couple of hours.  It felt so normal.

Then last weekend, I got to spend time with Zeke and Anna while Gwen and Tim hosted, at their home, their fall retreat for the youth from their church.  It was extra fun because it was Doug and Susie's 9th Wedding Anniversary so the cousins got to spend some time together while Doug and Susie had an evening out. 

The remainder of the weekend Zeke, Anna and I spent lots of time enjoying the glorious Indian Summer weather at various parks.  We walked by the Fox River, we walked by the very big windmill and we played on lots of playgrounds.  The best part for the "sleepover" at my house.  

To finish out the weekend, I got to watch Grace on Monday because her school was closed for the holiday.  We had so much fun and it was very much a reminder of all the days I spent watching her.  She insisted on us having "circle time" where she was the teacher and she "read" a book to me.  Such a great way to spend time together.

So here I am, in the middle of this transition.  I have no idea how long this will be, whether or not the path will be straight or instead the road full of pot holes and twists and turns.  But I am sure of one thing -  Jesus is walking with me, right along side of me, through these changes. As I was writing this blog I was reminded of a song that Ken picked to be sung at our wedding.  It was not familiar to me at the time, but through the years, I have seen how Jesus has spoken to me through it.   Here are the lyrics to " You Will Never Walk Alone by Gerry the Pacemakers.

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain.  Though your dreams be tossed and broken.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone.

I don't think Ken had any idea just how fitting this song was.  And what a great comfort it is to me now.  It is hope that carries me through.  Hope in Jesus and the knowing what is ahead in eternity.  Hope knowing that even through Ken is gone, Jesus is still beside me and walking with me.  Hope.  Hope in the transition.  

Jesus, thank you for every time that you have shown up and reminded me that I am not alone.  Thank you for family and friends and love that surrounds us all in times of loss and grief.   Holy Spirit, give us all peace during unsettled times.  Help us keep our eyes on you, Jesus.  Thank you for the hope in my heart.  Amen

End of summer ..... onto Fall. A lot of transitions

We had a not so typical Labor Day weekend.  Of course nothing about our life these days is very typical.  Ken has been dealing with the effects of Liver Cancer and has seen his energy decreasing during the last few weeks.  We are thankful for some iron infusions that we are hoping will restore some pep to his steps. In the mean time, Ken is mostly just moving slowly from the bed, to the couch to the patio to the front porch, using a cane to help keep him steady.  The kids have been wonderful, stopping in to bring us some needed company and we love those hugs.  

On Saturday we got to watch Grace for a couple of hours.  It was really fun to see how much she has grown up during the Covid mess.  I loved just talking with her and hearing all about her school and her friends.  Three is such a fun age!  I also managed to get the following picture... 

Grace age 3, 2020

This is special to me for so many reasons.  This little chair she is sitting in was mine!  It is 62 years old and has sure seen better days.  But it is so fun to see this chair, through the years and all of the precious little ones who got to use it!

Yes, that is me, age 4, in the chair when it was brand new - Christmas of 1958!

Then it was 1982

Gwen was around 3 years old in this picture.

Then Doug, around 3,  got to use the chair in 1985

First of the grandkids to use the chair was Lia (age 18 months) in 2007

followed by Ellie age 4,  in 2013

Zeke, age 2 in 2013

And then Anna, age 3 in 2017.

It is interesting how your perspective changes when illness enters your house.  This silly little kids chair is not really even an "heirloom" in the typical definition.  It wasn't an expensive chair when it was new.  But suddenly it seems priceless to me.  The memories that these pictures show, are worth more than any amount of money.   I am so thankful for these snapshots of rocking around the years.  I am also thankful that I have those recently digitized movies since I saw myself, rocking in that chair on that Christmas in 1959.  Technology is wonderful.

In addition to sitting in this chair when Grace visited, she did a lot of cutting!  She found a pair of kid scissors in the toy box and I gave her a magazine to cut up.  She spent almost an hour making lots of tiny pieces of paper.  

When Ken got up, Grace wanted to sit at the table and eat with him  She had already had breakfast, but she had a snack of applesauce while Grandpa ate his breakfast.

It was so good to have time to just play with her.  I miss my time watching her each week.  She was sad when mommy and daddy came to get her.  I am sure we will have time for more fun soon.

On Labor Day, Gwen, Tim and the kids came for a visit.  As a special treat they brought Chandler.  Ken loves that doggie so much.  At one point he called him Sheba (our dog when Gwen was little).  But Chandler didn't mind much.  Ellie insisted on bringing her violin so that Ken and I could hear her first song. Considering that she has only had the instrument for a couple weeks and only had a few lessons, it was great!  She seems to be a natural at this.

Chandler was apparently part of the performance.  I didn't notice him when I took the picture, but he was watching us watch Ellie play!

I am so thankful for the time that Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie, as well as the grandkids spend with us.  I know that Ken's time is most likely short and it is a blessing for the kids to make memories with him.  We are all taking one day at a time and trying to not look to far into the future.  For now that is enough.  The summer has been so dry, we have gone weeks and weeks with no rain.  I really don't remember another summer this dry.   But as we have entered September, we have had several days of much needed rain.  One night last week, I was awakened by loud claps of thunder and pounding rain.  This morning I woke up to rain on the window.  Yes, a transition is happening all around me.  The weather is changing from the heat and dry of summer to the damp and cool of autumn.  This year has been a time all its own that we will not forget.  The year 2020 will live on in memory of COVID, quarantine, fear and anxiety and loneliness as we "sheltered in place" away from all those we love so much.  Now our family is drawing together and coming closer as we care more about being together than fear of COVID.  We are holding and hugging each other as we stand together as Ken's cancer progresses.   We are doing our best to remember this...

           

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.   Matthew 6:34

I am so thankful for all of you, reading this blog.  Our family needs your prayers during this transition.  We so appreciate the love and concern of our friends and extended family.  Most of all we are thankful for the knowledge that Jesus has brought everyone that believes in Him, eternal life.  It is the faith and hope of Jesus that sustains us and brings us peace when nothing around us is very calm or peaceful.  

For some reason, the gentle rain today has been so soothing.  I made beef stew in the crock pot and some drop biscuits to go with it.  The oven helped heat up the cool house and the smell of the stew filled the house with a lovely aroma.  So calming and comforting.  Yes, today has been a good day and I will celebrate every good day.

Jesus, thank you for rain that soaks into the thirsty ground.  Thank you for the assurance of your saving grace.  Help us all to stay mindful of the joys in each day, even as so much around us is uncertain and shaking.  Thank you for the hugs and love of family and friends.  Remind us all to reach out and touch our loved ones and our neighbors.  Thank you for memories, for finds from the past and for hope to look into the future.  Amen

Amazing couple of hours - seeing into the past and getting perspective

This little drive holds my family movies that my dad took - starting in 1937.  Sometime towards the end of my moms life, my brother Jerry had converted the movies to  VHS tape and had my mom voice over narration to add as much information as she could.  He gave each of us siblings copies of these tapes.  I haven't had a VHS player in my house for a number of years and the tapes have just been sitting on my shelf.  I finally decided to have the tapes converted into digital format, thinking that maybe someday, someone would have an interest in these.  I picked up this little thumb drive this morning.

I was not prepared for the emotions that flooded over me.  I know that I have seen these before, but I don't think I was as interested in my ancestors as I am now.  I have always realized that I missed out on knowing most of my cousins well since I am the youngest of a large number of first cousins (17 on my dads side and 16 on my moms side) and most were grown and married before I was born. I was much closer in age to my cousins kids than my cousins.   Both my mom and my dad were the youngest sibling, and I am the youngest sibling.  In pretty typical fashion, the majority of the first few years of film were of my sister Karen as a baby and young child.  Yes, the first kids always has way more pictures than any subsequent child.  But in addition to the family movies, my dad filmed many trips he took for work. His travel took him through South Dakota and he has footage of the building of Mount Rushmore.  Here is a still photo he took at the same time.

 Also included is footage from the 1939 Worlds Fair in San Francisco, California.  My parents and their friends made the drive from South Dakota in September of 1939 and it includes a blizzard that they faced driving through the mountains of California on the way home.  The Golden Gate Bridge was only a year old when they drove across it.  They visited a zoo and saw "wild" animals that they had only seen in pictures.  Elephants, Zebras, Giraffes, swans, and many other animals in small cages.  Yet it is easy to forget how very blessed we are to have access to so much.  The cars and trucks and even the roads are so interesting.  My dad made several trips to Yellowstone and there are several photos of Old Faithful from a very close viewing point.  Not anything like today, for sure!  

Seeing these movies of my mom and dad, my sister Karen and so many relatives that are gone certainly made me emotional.  Seeing my dad's mom and dad and all of my aunts and uncles and cousins, really gave me pause.  I am so thankful for Facebook today.  I know that there is so much divide in our country right now and social media is often where that conflict is most evident.  For me - today at least- I am thankful for each of the relatives that I have on my friends list.  Some of these cousins I don't even remember meeting!  Yet today, I saw them as kids, playing on the farm, driving tractors or playing ball.  I saw them running around having a snowball fight one Christmas Day at their grandparents house (I think it might have been 1938 since Karen was a baby).  I saw family events happen before my eyes - my grandparents, Axel and Betty Johnson, celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary.  My brother Jerry was the youngest grandchild at that event.  Seeing movies is so much different than just seeing a photo.  I watched my grandma Johnson scoop Karen into her arms and give her a kiss.  Such a grandma thing to do. Seeing my mom's dad and aunt Anna and all my mom's sisters and their families was just as special.  

I was watching those cousins playing, and hearing my mom rattle off their names, I thought of the ones on Facebook.  I shot off a short message to my cousin Jo on messenger, telling her I was thinking of her after watching these old wonders.  She responded to me "I have always wished I could see the movies he (my dad) made when we were kids, even though I seem to remember we always tried to run away when he took them!"  I now know that I need to get these duplicated (at least the family part) and off to the cousins!  These are just too special to not share. 

But as I mulled over the years of  events, the picnics, the parties, the graduations... I realized something.  I am not really a part of these movies.  The first shots of me are at my first Christmas.  And I appear in several Christmas' after that.  But, by the time I was 6, I had been "replaced" by my mom and dads first grandchildren - Karen's kids.  There are movies of Amy learning to walk and Amy and Nancy riding my tricycle and swinging on my swing.  Do I sound a bit bitter here?  I think it just has cemented something that I knew in my mind - but in a visual way.  It was hard having parents who were Grandma Nona and Grandpa Harry for as long as I remember.  

I never could understand why my siblings said I was so spoiled.  My life was different than theirs.  They had a stay-at-home mom who made them hot lunch everyday when they walked home from school.  I was a latch key kid with a working mom from the time I was in 1st grade.  I rode a bus to school.  I was often home alone for hours at a time.  During those years my dad was gone for work for weeks at a time.  And my mom often worked hours of overtime.  Greg and Julie were in Jr. High/High School by the time mom worked.  As a matter of fact, Julie had already started working herself.  I know that this was as hard on my mom as it was on me.  She often talked about how much she regretted having to work for financial reasons.  By the time I was in 8th grade, we moved to the Chicago area.  What that meant for me was distance from all of my relatives - except for a couple of weeks in the summer at the Lake.  Even distance from my siblings.  By the time I was in high school, Karen was in Kansas City, Mo, Jerry was in St. Paul, MN, Julie was in Montana, and Greg was in Thailand in the Air Force.  So I don't feel like my life was "spoiled" - it was just very different than my siblings.  I had a a front row seat to my dad's deteriorating health as he approached retirement.  And I also watched my mom worry and fret about my dad.  Sadly, he only had a few active years in retirement before his health failed.   

Looking back now, I can see just how important my relationship to Jesus was.  One of my earliest memories is a dream I had about Easter.  I can still "see" this dream in my mind - that is how real it was.  Jesus and I were walking in a beautiful garden, down a winding path.  There were flowers and trees and birds everywhere I looked.  Jesus was holding my hand.  He told me that the Easter story was true - that he had died and come back to life.  And he encouraged me to tell everyone that I could that it was true.  He looked at me and said, "I will be with you always.  Don't be afraid".  When I think about this dream, I can still feel his hand holding mine.  When Jesus is with you, no matter how different or hard or scary your life experiences are, you not only survive you thrive.  Because of that dream, I never felt alone or scared. So in spite of a very different childhood than my siblings, I never felt deprived.  My mom and I developed a very close relationship in the years that it was mostly just us, when my dad traveled and my siblings were grown and far away.  Jesus' words to me in that dream have been a guiding force in my life. This blog is, in fact, part of those marching orders from Jesus.  A way to tell others that Jesus is alive, his story is true, he is with us and we don't have to be afraid.  

Seeing into the past through these movies, reflecting on all the emotions that came with that, and capping off the experience with the TRUTH that Jesus has a plan and purpose for each of our lives, brings this blog (and my emotions) full circle.   We are all who we are today, not only because of our own experiences, but also those who came before us..  All of that, shapes how we live today and how we walk into the future.  I am so thankful that my dad purchased that "newest and greatest" invention when he bought that movie camera in 1938. My mom and dad loved their extended family and celebrated life together.   What a treasure it is to actually SEE your heritage on the screen.  Now I understand a bit better why spending time with my family is so important to me.

Jesus, thank you so much for bringing me through this period of reflection.  Holy Spirit, remind everyone reading this, that there is a plan and purpose for their life that doesn't depend on circumstances.  Give us all your eyes to see our past.  Give us courage and boldness to walk into the future, even when things seem so unsettled.  Thank you Jesus for your love and your guidance.  Amen

What is a "Mission Trip" like in 2020?

Since nothing is like it has always been, this year Gwen and Tim's mission trip with the youth from their church was a "local" experience.  So instead of a 8 or 9 day trip, it was only a three day experience.  That meant that my time with the kids was also short and sweet.  Ellie was very aware of the shortness of this time, since this was her last time as a "kid" and assuming that things go better next year, she will be old enough to attend the mission trip with Gwen and Tim (and Lia of course.)  Since 2009 this has been a special time for me to really be with the kids 24/7.  It is always a meaningful time and I look forward to it every year.  Zeke had a list of all the activities that he wanted us to cram into the three days.  We MOSTLY finished the list.  Going down by the lake on their property was on the list and something that I did not want to miss.  

 

We visited several fast food restaurants, which usually would have included a Playplace visit.  Not this year.   We also visited a new favorite of the kids that they call the Teepee.  It is actually a chocolate shop that sells ice cream.  Due to the very hot weather and the rapidly melting ice cream, I didn't get any photos there.  But it was a treat for all of us.  In kind of a "you couldn't have planned this is you tried" event, Gwen and Tim and the entire mission trip drove by the Teepee and saw the kids sitting outside eating their ice cream.  Zeke thought it was really cool that his mom and dad had driven by right when we were sitting there.  Gotta love those "coincidences!"  We visited several playgrounds, including what the kids call "The Big Park".

We also went to the "Fake Grass" park twice!  This is fairly close to their house and it does have astro turf under all the playground equipment.  Really interesting! 

And best of all for Zeke, I drove him to the "skate park".  He used his scooter and did really well.  Most of the kids at this park were older, but they were all friendly and helpful.  It was a good experience.  Now Zeke would like to back there all the time! Ellie and Anna scootered around the top edge, but still had fun.  

In the hours we had at home there was plenty to do.  We spent hours in the pool and the kids spent lots of time on the trampoline and the tractor.  I spent as much time as I could floating in the pool and my tan lines are the proof.    I love the water and this was a real vacation for me.  

The kids all play together so well and they made up a Charade kind of game with clues that I wrote (and drew since Anna can't read yet).  It was a laugh filled couple of hours and so much fun!  They took turns acting out the clues.  I can't believe how creative they are and how good they were at guessing each other!  We also played many, many games of Farkel, which was new to me! They are a game playing family for sure.  

Part of this time always includes us praying for the Mission Trip and all that they might be experiencing and the people they would help.  This year was easier since the kids knew exactly where the group was and knew what they would be doing each day.  Gwen always prepares some treats for the kids and this year was no different.  Again, Ellie was very aware that this was her last time on this side of the trip.

These sticker by number books included in the daily gift,  provided hours of quite activity to even out all the physical activities of the day.  The three days went by so fast, especially since the mission trip came to the house on the evening of day two for swimming, smores and singing.  Watching Tim prepare a meal (with the kids help) for some 30 people was amazing. Such a great experience to get to watch this group of teens and young adults, playing and eating together and then praying and worshiping to end the night.  I loved seeing how they just included Ellie, Zeke and Anna in the activities.  

Gwen didn't know if there would even be any interest in a "stay at home" mission trip.  It was interesting to see that they actually had to cap the number of kids that could come.  The kids served by helping at a local food pantry, they prayer walked the town that their church is in,  they did weeding and lawn care at several locations, and they worked at a ministry that sends donated medical supplies around the world.  They studied about social justice and talked about what it really means to serve others.  Certainly a meaningful three days for everyone.

During one of the times that Ellie, Zeke and Anna and I were just talking and sharing, they asked me what my favorite Bible story was.  It was hard to give them just one, but I settled on "the widow's mite" story.  I remember reading this in my first Bible and thinking about the meaning behind this story.  I told the kids that this story touched me because I knew that my family was not rich.  So knowing that God welcomes the smallest offering, brought me peace.  Zeke said (after much thought) that his favorite Bible story was about the Crucifixion and he especially liked that the veil was torn when Jesus died.  He said that he liked this because it meant that we could come close to God again.  I thought that was pretty good theology for a nine year old!   Anna liked Daniel and the lion's den.  Ellie and I had a long conversation about satan and the armor of God.  This of course led to the kids singing "Stomp on the Devil" one of their favorite songs.  

I always tell Gwen that this is my "mission trip" each year.  It allows Gwen and Tim to share with a new generation what Jesus did and said about serving others.  Gwen is now the  NextGen Director at her church - a title that is very fitting.  Working with babies, toddlers, children, teens and young adults, this new title encompasses them all.  Watching the group laughing and talking together after a tiring day of service gave me just a glimpse of the impact Boulder (youth program) and Rock (children's program) are having.  Sitting in the background, listening to their worship, was amazing.  When the mission trip group left to go back to the church, I realized that I had a renewed sense of hope.  Let's face it, 2020 has done a number on all of us.  It is hard to have faith and trust when everything is so uncertain.  And it is also hard to hang on to hope when things look so dark in the world.  I really needed these three days and I really needed that dose of hope.  You never know where or when the Holy Spirit will send that shot just when you least expect it.  Thank you Gwen, Tim, leaders, and kids.  Thank you Holy Spirit!

Jesus, thank you for knowing that we all forget you are with us always.  Holy Spirit, thank you for bringing that reminder that God has everything under control, even when it might not look good in the natural.  Help us all to watch and listen for those times when you are speaking to us.  Thank you for the energy and stamina and creativity of children.   Thank you Jesus for hope, peace and joy.  Amen

What happens in 2020 to a dance recital....

 I never thought I would get to see these sweet girls perform their dance recital for 2020.  But thanks to a wonderful studio, Grayslake Dance Connection, I got to experience something truly wonderful.  

The recital was held outdoors, and boy did a lot of people pray for the weather.  It was a cool, cloudy couple of days - something not expected for August 1st.  There was appropriate social distancing, and everyone wore masks - even outside.  But it was so worth it.  

First up was Anna.  She had both a tap dance and a jazz dance.  

It was amazing to watch these young kids, who had only had Zoom classes since March, get up there and dance their hearts out - even wearing masks.  You would never have guessed that they only had one short in person practice before this event.  I was so proud of Anna.

Next Ellie had two dances - a lyrical and a ballet.  Zoom classes have been extra challenging for Ellie but you would never have known it watching her dance.  She has worked so hard and it showed as she came to life with her groups.  

This was Lia's eleventh dance recital.  When you see the pictures below you will understand just how much time and effort Lia puts into dance.  She loves it and you can tell with every routine that she does.  In addition to her "regular" classes (jazz, tap, ballet, lyrical) she is in a special group called Spotlight (tap and jazz) and she also is a student teacher and the student teachers did a jazz dance.  I honestly don't know how she learns and remembers all of these dances.   

Yes, those are Lego bricks!  The Spotlight Performance was all from the Lego Movie.  I was so impressed by all the dancers.  You would never have imagined that the studio could pull off such a great performance during a global pandemic.  There is so much love in that studio.  The teachers, the owner, the student teachers, the dancers and all the families that sacrifice to get their kids involved in dance.  I was thinking back to the very first time I actually came to this dance studio.   I brought Lia to a class when she was three years old.  On that first day I heard a phrase that I have heard over and over.  "Miss Bridget says, "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit!"   

Well, Miss Bridget (the owner of the dance studio) certainly followed her own advice.  She took a terrible situation of a pandemic with total shut down and somehow managed to continue to teach kids complicated dances.  She has a talented group of teachers who followed her lead and reached out to all of the kids, encouraging them to keep practicing.  And then she managed to pull off an amazing show to allow the families of these dancers to see all that had been accomplished - in spite of 2020.   She rose to the occasion and showed us all that what we got was an incredible show.  Thank you Miss Bridget!  

Grayslake Dance Connection if you want to learn more about this studio, just click the link!

Jesus, thank you for people who love our kids as much as we do.  Thank you for your presence with us all that helps us to weather these trying times during situations that we could never have imagined.  Holy Spirit, continue to give all teachers creative ideas to keep our kids engaged and involved, in spite of social distancing.  Pour out your blessings on Dance Connection, Miss Bridget, and all the teachers as well as all the children and families.  Thank you for good weather and a great event.  Amen

Preserving memories - in a very different way!

Yesterday Ken and I hung this metal ring around the large initial "R" that we have had hanging on our wall for a long time.  Both of us were very surprised to see that it was exactly the right size and the spacing was exactly right with the other items on that wall.  This metal ring has special significance to us. I looked for an early picture of this ring (in its original form) and this was the best I could find.  Its from a late spring snowstorm in 1993.  You can see that the tree planted there is pretty little which means we most likely planted it in 1990 or 1991.  Take a look at the barrel the tree is planted in.  That metal ring on our wall is that very ring.

After this tree got way too large for this spot, we tried to move it to that spot in our back yard.  Sadly, this tree did not survive the move (which was somewhere around 2002).  So, we left the container and got another pine tree to plant in the wooden tub.  This is what that tree looked like before it was removed yesterday.  It was listing seriously to one side and had damage caused by the neighboring maple tree.  We were thankful to have it removed by our homeowners association at no cost to us.  

But if you look carefully, you can see that barrel at the base of the tree.

When they removed that tree, the barrel fell apart and they gave us the rings.  Thinking about the last 30 years that we have looked at that barrel, in one place or another, we decided that we really needed to keep it.  And it seemed to be a great idea when it fit so perfectly surround our R.  I am sure some people will think that this is taking this "preserving" thing a bit far, but I love it.  Isn't it funny how the smallest things can hold so many memories?

When I sit and look over at that ring, I am remembering all of the first day of school photos we took in front of this ring.  I can see Halloween pictures and graduation pictures and all kinds of other family pictures near that barrel.  I am so thankful that this ring survived the clearing of this tree.  

I've been thinking a great deal about what "memories" I will have to scrapbook when I finally catch up and scrap the year 2020.  I cringe when I look at my photos and realize just how few pictures I will have for this year.  We have had no family get togethers.  We did not celebrate Easter together.  We have missed birthdays and anniversaries and so many other events. And Ken has spent way too much time in the hospital during this year.   COVID has made for a very very small 2020 scrapbook.  I just haven't been able to even blog during these unending months of stay at home.  So my blog book for 2020 will also be extremely small.   I guess this is not such a bad thing, since who really wants to remember this year?

I love how this ring is surrounding our R.  As I was reading what I had just written, I was struck by the truth this ring represents.  Our entire family has been surrounded and protected during this year.  During all of Ken's illnesses and hospital stays, during the Pandemic and now during this time after his diagnosis.  Our protection is so much more than a metal ring.  It is the circle of God's presence with us and his powerful and loving care and concern for us that will not be shaken.  COVID can't change that.  Sickness can't take us out of his care.  Even being apart from each other for a time can't take us away from Him.  Jesus has been with us through these months of uncertainty and He will continue to walk with us into the future.   I love the reminder from Psalm 23 that we are walking THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death.  The key here is to just keep walking.

So, even as the COVID cases continue to rise in our area and things remain unsure, I will keep on walking forward.  That ring is a reminder for me and our family that we are not walking ahead alone.  It is a reminder for everyone that Jesus loves us and cares about our struggles and our worries.  He is right there to hold our hand and help us take another step forward.  Make a decision today to just take one more step.  For sure, you are not alone.

Jesus, thank you for the reminder that your love surrounds and guards us even when things seem so shaky and uncertain in the natural.  Holy Spirit, remind us of your loving presence when we are feeling fearful,  Restore our hope for the things that are ahead.  Give us courage to take that one more step today.  Thank you Jesus for family, friends and neighbors.  Amen