Some fun Summer afternoon visits...

So you know how those Facebook ads can be so aggravating?  Well, I was actually quite happy to have seen a couple of interesting exhibits, both really close to my house.  The first was the Frida Kahlo art exhibit which featured original artwork and photos of Frida Kahlo.  I have only recently discovered Frida Kahlo (thanks to the Disney film "Coco"), but Ellie has read books about her and was fascinated with her handmade dresses (always the fashionista).  I offered a trip to see this exhibit to Gwen and all of the kids, but Ellie was the only taker.  We had a great "Grandma and Me Day".  

I love spending time with Ellie.  She is so articulate and really knows what she wants to do in the future.  She is a budding photographer and it made my heart so happy to watch her using Ken's "Walk around camera" to take photos on this trip.  Ken would be so glad that she is using this camera.

The second exhibit that I discovered through a Facebook ad was the Sistine Chapel exhibit.  I was really anxious to see how this digital presentation would look.  A trip to Italy seems unlikely, and even if I were to get there, seeing the Sistine Chapel artwork is done from a distance of 80 feet - looking up.  

The exhibit had some fairly mixed reviews, but I decided to go anyway.  I couldn't find anyone interested in going with me, so it was a solo adventure.  There were several video presentations that gave all the background information on the actual construction of the frescos.  Seeing these descriptions made the actual viewing of the panels up close all the more amazing.  The talent necessary to capture the realistic body shapes.  The Biblical interpretations are wonderful.  I could have spent hours just looking at each piece to take in the details.  One of the facts I learned from the videos is that Michelangelo was the first painter to ever show all of God the Father.  Before this, any artwork only shows a hand reaching from heaven or a golden cloud.  So these full body depictions of God are even more amazing.  Sadly I couldn't stand and look carefully at each panel because it was very crowded.  I did go back through more than one time and saw different things that I had missed on the first look.   I was very happy that I made the effort to see this.  

So, two very different exhibits.  One of a more modern artist, known for being a champion for women's rights and the LGBTQ community in Mexico.  And the other, a world renowned painter and sculptor from 1500's in Vatican City.  But there is much food for thought in both of these exhibits.  Walking through and taking in all the information about both artists helped bring an understanding and appreciation for their work.  Kahlo had a terrible accident in her teen years that caused a life time of pain and suffering.  Yet her work is not all gloom and doom.  She used vibrant colors and embraced her Mexican culture that was evident in all of her pieces.  And Michelangelo didn't even want to work on the ceiling frescos.  He was a sculptor first and that was his passion.  He was bribed into painting the frescos and wasn't happy doing them.  Yet God moved and these panels bring the pages of the Bible to life.  

There are great lessons to be learned from these two very different people separated by hundreds of years, many miles, and very different cultures.  Both of these artists had a Devine destiny - a plan and purpose for their life.  Both faced extreme hardships and ended up being recognized for something that wasn't even their "dream" or "passion".  Frida Kahlo loved her people and her culture.  She went against the social norms of her day and accomplished much more than you would expect from a crippled girl from Mexico.  One of her paintings is now in the Louvre in Paris - the first Mexican artist ever.  Michelangelo's sculptures are also amazing, but he brought us the Bible in art, with true inspiration from God.  Even if it took a bit of convincing for him to complete this project, it was done.  

I came away from these afternoon visits feeling very close to Jesus.  I could hear him whispering in my ear as I walked through the Frida Kahlo exhibit - "Love first".  There was so much love in her work.  She loved well and followed her heart.  So many of her clothes and paintings contained a rainbow of colors. And I was reminded to respond to all the rainbow flags just like Jesus would.... he would love first.  As I walked up close to each of the panels of the Sistine Chapel I could hear the reminder from Jesus that sometimes we need to let go of our "passion" to accomplish something so much greater than we could ever think or imagine.  And when we let go of our own plans, our own desires and the way we think things should go, THEN Jesus can do amazing things through us.   These were good lessons for me.  Loving first - even when we disagree.  Letting go - even when my plans seem so good and so right.  Jesus has got this.  He reigns and He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords!  He does amazing things!

Jesus, thank you for time to gain a new perspective through art.  Holy Spirit, continue to speak to us all as we go about our day to day tasks.  Give us gentle reminders of your direction - especially when we go off track in our own ways.  Jesus you always loved first.  You are love!  Thank you for teaching and leading and guiding us.  Amen

 

Spending time with Grace and James

James just gets bigger and cuter with each day.  I told Doug and Susie that I think he grows so much between my visits. When I look at this picture, he looks so much younger!  It was such a blessing to have time with Susie and the kids while she was off on maternity leave.   Grace and I got to have some sprinkler fun and of course, time at the nearby park.

There were a couple of rainy days, as usual, and Grace and I had fun playing inside also.  This set was actually Susie's when she was little.  This just goes to show that toys really don't change much and the kids still love them.  

Susie and I waited for one of the cooler days to take Grace and James to a nearby spray park.  Grace had never been to an outside spray park and she had a great time.  I had my swimming suit on and got sprayed and dumped on a couple of times.  James was good just sleeping away in his stroller.

 This summer has flown by and here it is, August and the kids are back in school.  We are still being cautious about Covid since Grace and James are not vaccinated, but it is good to finally have some more normal things happening.  Last week Susie returned to work and I will be watching Grace and James during the week.  So I know there is still plenty of time for outdoor fun.  Grace will be starting preschool 4's after Labor Day.  She will be in school three mornings a week and is excited for school to start.  She is a real social girl and has missed being with other kids.  She is so much fun!  Her imagination is wonderful.  We had days of playing "Olympics" which included many races and other "unusual" events that she made up.  She told me that Doug had won a gold medal in the Fishing competition for catching a BIG crappie.  The fish was so big that it bit his finger so Doug killed it and ate it!  Sounds about right, if you ask me!  Grace is a card playing champ.  She loves Uno and we usually play seven or eight hands at a time.  She is learning strategy and often holds on to those wild cards to play and win the game.  We play Zingo and CandyLand and several other board games.  She still loves puzzles and we often do "hard" puzzles that have 50 or more pieces.  Soon she will have outpaced this grandma in the game playing department!   

James has been a really happy baby.  He mostly sleeps, eats and needs diaper changes.  I have just started giving him a bottle when Susie is gone and the biggest problem is that he is always smiling!  The milk just runs out of his mouth with each smile!  I can't wait to see his personality shine!

I am so thankful for these times with the grandchildren.   Ken's death has made me more aware of the preciousness of time together.  Lucas is not far from my mind every time I am with the kids.   Our family has missing pieces and we are always aware of that. I think that I hold each of the grands a bit closer and hug a bit tighter, because of these loses.  I know that our family is not alone.  There are so many who have lost children.  So many who have lost parents at an early age.  So many young widows or widowers now faced with raising children on their own.  For sure, death is a part of life.  Somehow in our culture, we forget this.  It is a subject that people don't want to talk about.  And that is a sad fact.  Lately people have been asking me "how are you?" sort of expecting the answer "fine."   I can tell that many people are almost afraid to talk about Ken.   I have been working on telling people the truth when they ask questions.  The last couple of months have been harder than the previous months.  I don't know why and I can't even explain HOW they have been harder.  Knowing that almost a year has passed without Ken, seems unreal to me.  Some days it seems like much longer, and some days much shorter.   I don't know how people deal with death without Jesus in their life.  Knowing that Jesus is with me, that He is the comfort and peace that I need is what sustains me every day.  Praise and worship and prayer and scripture are what fills my heart.  Holding all of my family close is the icing on the cake. 

If your family, like mine, has some "pieces" missing, know that I am praying for you.   If you know someone who has experienced a loss, reach out to them.  Say that person's name.  Share a good memory with them.  Have an open heart to allow the Holy Spirit to work through you.   You never know when a smile or a hug might make a difference to someone.  

Jesus, thank you for your presence with us every day.  Holy Spirit, bring your peace and comfort to those who are grieving.  Remind us all to speak the names of those who have died.  Give us courage and boldness to reach out and bring you to those around us.  Thank you for summer heat, for refreshing water and the smiles and love of children.  Amen

Being an observer to something really good...

 

It was so good to be able to watch (and participate) in the yearly Vacation Bible School program that is called Bible Boot Camp at Gwen and Tim's church.  I got an extra bonus this year, when there was an opening to help with the preschool kids one day.  It was so much fun!  There is nothing I love more than watching all the kids have so much fun learning about Jesus. 

Gwen and I were talking about the very first time that I coordinated a VBS program.  I think it was in 1987.  I pretty  much made it up as I went along.  We had several dozen kids and it rained all week.  We were doing this program in a really small space and with very little help.  What I most remember about that week is the joy on the faces of the kids.  Although I had been leading the Sunday School program for a couple of years, there is something totally different about a summer program.  A few short years after that VBS, I began the most amazing times serving  the Lord in children's ministry.   

Time spent with children is never wasted.  As a matter of fact I just heard yesterday that the best way to de-stress and relax is to play with kids.  I know that this is certainly true for me.  Every single second that I spend with my grandchildren is life giving.  Whether it is playing cards or games or pretending alongside a 4 year old, it simply fills me and makes me smile.  Sharing God stories and the love of Jesus with children is so much more than just "helping out" or "babysitting.  Over and over the Bible shows the importance of children in Jesus ministry.  Jesus told his disciples that they needed to be like a little child to enter the kingdom of heaven.  In fact, the Bible is filled with stories about children and how God loves them.  Most of you know that God put children on my heart and gave me a passion to see more for the kids than just a couple of Bible stories.  Through Holy Spirit inspiration, I wrote and planned a station rotation Sunday School program that was way before this model became the norm in schools and churches.  There were after school programs, mid week programs, Bible studies, and worship times for even the youngest preschoolers.  I know that these little ones can and will be touched by the Holy Spirit if we just create the atmosphere and expectation for it to happen.  Leaving my time working with children was hard.  VERY hard.  But, I felt God calling me to move into a new areas.  Over the next few years, I began to understand that the message that was so big in my heart - the value of children experiencing a real relationship with Jesus - needed to be heard by the ADULTS.  Sadly, the entire time I was pouring my heart and soul into children's ministry, the leaders - the adults - didn't really see and/or understand what Jesus was doing in and for the children.  As a matter of fact, there were some that didn't want this for the children.  As the years passed, the heart of God for children never left me.  While Gwen had been a part of much of my ministry (mostly as a leader), she was pretty clear that her calling was with the youth.  However, when Jesus has a plan and a destiny, it will be accomplished.  Gwen is now the Next Gen Director at her church.  And this includes ALL the children - from birth - college age.  Watching her accomplish so much more than I could have ever dreamed of brings me to tears.  Even during 2020 and the COVID pandemic, she planned and carried out ministry that has touched and changed families.  Watching the church filled with children, seeing the youth serving and leading, filled me with joy.  I am so thankful that I get to be an observer to all that Jesus is doing.  And it is good!

Jesus, thank you so much for your plan and purpose and destiny for children.  Holy Spirit, help us to hear your plan for each of us.  Give us courage to walk out those plans, even when others don't understand. Thank you Jesus for your love and care for every child.  Continue to pour out creative ideas and give strength and stamina to all those who hear your heart for children.  Thank you for your love for us.  Amen

Family and fun the first part of July

James has been such a joy for our family.  I have been trying to soak in as many memories as I can with him.  Gwen was able to visit and get her own share of baby love.  Grace just love seeing "the cousins" and because of distance and busy schedules, the kids don't get much time together.  So fun is on the docket when we are together.

We took a walk to the park and I managed to snap this picture of the moms with their kids!  They all love being together so much and it is great to see their friendships grow.  Covid has been hard on everyone but you can sure see it in the youngest kids.  Everyone is so glad for these family times.  I snapped this photo on the way to the park..

Anna and Grace have such a sweet relationship.  Their interests are very similar and they just love being together.  I can see some wonderful times together in the future

I got to spend part of the 4th of July with Doug and Susie, going to a local parade.  Ken and I had been at this parade with them in 2018 and 2019.  Ken really loved parades and it was good to celebrate, once again after Covid, at this parade.  James slept through the entre parade and Gracie loved getting the candy!  She could barely carry her bag of loot on the way home.  

We took some pictures after the parade when we got back to their house.  I love these yearly photos so much!  They just reflect how much the kids have grown and also all the changes in our family.  

Our last 4th of July pictures in 2019 were Ken and I with Grace.  Now we have added James but lost Ken.  So thankful for these pictures that mark the passage of time.  

Just after the busy 4th weekend, Susie and I took Grace and James back to Blackberry Farms.  I took Grace there on the day that James was born.  She was so excited to show Mommy and James around the park.  

It was a nice day, cooler and cloudy.  We spent a really nice couple of hours, feeding the animals, riding the pony, taking a hayride and riding the train.  It was the first real "outing" like this with James and he slept the entire time.  

While I was looking at my photos for these upcoming blogs, I found this really wonderful picture of James.

There are so many things I love about this picture.  It was just a casual picture I took of James when he had first started smiling.  When I was looking at this picture I noticed the placemat behind me on the table.  This was not a posed picture at all and I never noticed the placemat. Until long after the picture was taken.  To me it looks like Lucas is looking out over James.  James will grow up knowing his big brother Lucas, just as Grace does.  There is no "right or wrong" way for a family to move on after the death of a baby.  Or for that matter, the death of the grandpa.  I am so thankful that Jesus has walked all of us through grief that comes when you least expect it.  One thing I have learned in this process, all of the people in our "family tree" have sown into our lives in some way.  No matter how far away from us they are, there were seeds planted that carry on through generations.  There are connections that are a part of us.  I am so thankful that generations ago, my family decided to follow Jesus.  And because of that Spiritual seed, the Holy Spirit stirred me into my own faith walk.  Through the highs and the lows, through sickness and health, through death and new life, Jesus is with me.  And I know that those ancestors that I never met, along with those that I knew including Lucas, are celebrating with Jesus right now.  What I love most about this picture is that James is reaching out.  You can see his hand in the foreground of the picture.  He is reaching out into the future.  With all of those Spiritual seeds in his generations, I can't wait to see where he goes!  

Jesus, thank you for your leading and guiding every day.  Holy Spirit, remind us that you have a plan and purpose for each of us that was our destiny before we were even in our mothers womb.  Give us all patience and peace when we feel lost, alone or hurting.  Thank you Jesus for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  Thank you for family and fun times.  Give us wisdom as we walk every day toward that destination that you have promised us.  Amen

Busy month and no blogs due to a computer crash and moving on through grief!

 I am sure you are thinking, "what does this have to do with a busy month and a dead computer?"  Here's the thing!  I think this is the best ever picture of my July!  First, a bit of a background on this photo.  I found this little pine tree growing in my front yard.  I have no idea where it came from.  When I pulled it out, the entire root ball came with it.  So I planted it alongside my flowers and have watched it take root and grow.  My July has been filled with our family loving on James and so thankful for the new life that has sprouted from our family tree.  I have "transplanted" my working space from an old (very slow) tablet to a new, very speedy laptop!  

Most of the month, I have been focused on preparing my entire upstairs for new carpeting.  This has been quite an experience for me.  When I tell you that the carpet in the master bedroom has been there for 43 years, you might understand what I mean!  Yes, it is original, builder grade gold shag carpet that has never been replaced.  This "getting ready" part has explained partially why we have never replaced this carpet!  It is a lot of work to clear out and get ready to MOVE everything from all of the rooms when you live in a very small space.  While I thought I had cleared out much of the "junk", I have discovered even more during this process.  I even went through my scraproom and really cleared out things I know I will never use.   I have managed to empty 7 shelves that will find a new home at Gwen and Tim's house. Three trips to Goodwill and to many bags of garbage to count, and I am closer to that new carpet!  As of right now, the end is in sight and by the first of September, I should have a whole new upstairs!  I can't wait! 

Looking at that persistent little tree caused me to reflect on the last three quarters of a year in my life.  In some ways I feel a bit like that tree.  It was kind of out of place, there in the dirt by my front deck.  Suddenly being alone after 48 years of "togetherness" with someone sure does feel out of place. I have come to identify this feeling more quickly now, 10 months after losing Ken.  It happens so suddenly and without warning like when I find myself referring to "our" house. Or "our" kids.  Changing those thoughts to "my" has brought on that out of place feeling.  It is just a little thing, but one more reminder of loss.  While clearing out the bedroom closet, I came upon these two framed posters...

I have resisted throwing these out because of the sentimental value they have for me.  On my 18th birthday (September 1972), Ken gave me these two posters. I thumb tacked them to my bedroom wall.  It was a total surprise when I received these.  Ken and I had only been dating for a few weeks and the thought behind these posters was deep and meaningful.  A year and a half later, Ken had these framed and gave them to me as a wedding present.  This was written on the back...

It reads  "Love you XXOOXX   To my dearest love   May all that I can give you be joyous and wonderful  With all my love, Ken" 

These hung on the walls of our home or many years.  They have faded and the frames have  gotten damaged.  When the bedroom was painted a few years ago, they were moved to the closet.  Now they are preserved in photos, this blog and future scrapbooks.  I have been moved into a new season, a new beginning.  Transplanted in a way, into a new and different life, going from "our" to "my".  Although these pictures are no longer here, the thought - the meaning- the words are still with me.  The 48 years Ken and I were together had lots of ups and downs, many struggles, many tears and much laughter.  My heart is full knowing that it was Ken's desire for our life together to be joyous and wonderful.  

I can't wait to see how this little tree grows.  I am anxious to move ahead into all that Jesus has for me in this new season of my life.  I am so thankful, so blessed, so hopeful and excited for this next chapter.  

Jesus, thank you for the times you speak to us through nature.  Holy Spirit, help us to see through your eyes at times we are shaken and unsettled.  Help us to take root in the new places and the new seasons you bring us to.  Fill us with your power and love, Jesus, to carry us through times of transition and changes.  Thank you Jesus for your constant, unchanging love for us.  Amen

A busy week with Ellie, Zeke and Anna

Every year, when Gwen and Tim lead a Youth Mission Trip from their church, I get to spend the week with the kids that are so young that they can't go on the trip!  Lia has already had a couple of trips, and in just a short time, Ellie will be going.  This year, it was great to have Ellie, Zeke and Anna for a week filled with fun and adventure.  

Gwen always leaves small gifts for the kids to open each day, along with a card telling us a bit about what they will be doing on their mission trip that day.  On this day, the kids got 6 very fun card games.  Over the course of the week we played these games for hours - and I mean hours!  Go Fish and Old Maid were the favorites and Anna and I played War over and over.  Having the swimming pool was such a wonderful treat for me.  I love to swim and we often spent many hours in the pool.  Sometimes two or more times in one day.  The weather was really good for us, and I picked the one "cooler" day to take the kids to Great America. 

The kids have memberships there and know the park like the back of their hands.  They led the way around the park and managed to get on all of their favorite rides (except for one), in spite of the fact that it was a beautiful day and the park was pretty crowded.  We stayed for about 5 hours and left with plenty of time to take Ellie to dance.  

The kids were excited to get new floats for the pool as one of their daily gifts from Gwen.  I saw how much these kids played with these floats and I was getting a lot of use out of them also!  All of the kids swim like fish and have so much fun playing together in the pool.  

I had promised to take the kids bowling, so on the last full day of the trip we finally got there.  Each of the kids got several strikes and several spares.  They did so well even though they don't often go bowling.  I had fun watching them bowl, and they couldn't believe that I had once been a really good bowler.  

On the last day I took the kids to a breakfast in a sit down restaurant.  As always, the kids ate everything that they were served.  It is so much fun to be with them and watch them share with each other, making sure everyone gets exactly what they want.

After breakfast we went to the "Big Park", another tradition from the years past.  I had promised Zeke that we would go to the skate park and this was the last chance.  

The week was filled with so much fun, so much laughter and so many hugs.  I can't ever express how much this time with the kids means to me.  When you get to spend time with the kids like this, you really find out so much about them.  I saw how caring Ellie is with Anna and how she will do anything to make Anna feel special.  One day she made up a scavenger hunt for Anna with notes all over the yard.  We also had a special "Dance Recital" hosted by Ellie that featured Anna as the dancer.  It was hours of work and practice.  I got to watch Zeke playing some on line video games and it was certainly an education for this grandma.  I heard Zeke sounding very mature, interacting with other players.  I heard him often opt out of some games if there were "bad words" being used by players, and often taking other players with him when he did this.  He would be open to ask these players if they believed in Jesus and I heard him talking about Jesus and the Bible more than once.  I also realized just how much Zeke was learning from playing these games.  I saw him using strategy and planning to work together with other players to score points and win the game.  It was a really different perspective than you might have about video games.  I am very aware of all of the limits that Gwen and Tim have placed on these games that make it safe for the kids.  Anna often talks about being the youngest and was really glad to hear that I am the youngest of my siblings.  She loves to swim - I think more than any of the other kids - and was very happy to have me there willing to swim with her whenever she wanted.  I loved having her read to me each day.  Anna was the first to want to help me with whatever I was doing and she helped with dishes and laundry, even when it wasn't her "job".  The couple of times that Zeke and Ellie didn't get along well, Anna was always wanting to be the peacemaker.  She really wants her siblings to get along and she is pretty quick to tell them that.  

During the week, the kids and I prayed over the items on the cards Gwen left for them.  We talked about the area that they were visiting and the poverty and sometimes homelessness that the kids there experienced.  It seemed like each of the kids really understood just how blessed they and their family are.  I especially like this connection to the Mission Trip.  It certainly helps me focus on what God might be doing through this time.  

Yesterday marked 9 months since Ken died.  It is hard to imagine and in some ways it seems like much longer that he has been gone.  It was one of those unexpected times, when grief suddenly hits you.  There was really no good reason, other than the date.  I am still finding it difficult to plan any vacations even though the COVID restrictions have lifted.  So in the next week, I am making it a point to begin to plan a trip away.  I know that when I do set things in place, it will mark a new beginning for me.  We finally had some much needed rain last week but one of those days of rain also brought some bad storms.  I found myself sheltered in my downstairs bathroom, while the sirens blew.  Fortunately, the storms passed over my area but sadly some areas near me were damaged.  It was certainly proof that we have moved into summer.  I am working on giving myself grace to walk through this grief process.  I often remind myself that it is normal for me to have these times were I feel stuck.  I am so thankful that my family and friends also continue to support me in this ongoing journey.  This time with the kids certainly helps and getting time with Grace and baby snuggles with James are also a joy. In spite of grief and loss, life is good.  Yes, I am blessed.  

Jesus, thank you for time with my kids that fills my heart so full.  Holy Spirit, remind all of us walking through grief that it is ok to move as slowly as we need to.  Help us surround ourselves with grace.  Jesus remind us all to see others as you see them.  Thank you for opportunities to go out of our comfort zone to share your love with others.  Give us courage to take the next step when it seems hard.  Amen

Lia is 15 and Gwen and Tim celebrate their 20th Anniversary!

I always appreciate doing these blogs because it helps me to reflect on just how blessed my life is!  Just after our family welcomed baby James,  Lia turned 15 years old.  It is truly hard to imagine that I now have 7 grandchildren!  And as the oldest, Lia is now well on her way to the end of her childhood.  

Lia is such a wonderful young lady and I loved tht I got to be with her to celebrate her special day.  I can't believe that she is now taking (gasp) drivers ed and will getting her permit soon.  Wasn't she just a tiny baby?  I love seeing how well she cares for her many friends and is always the first to give a word of encouragment to others.  Her confidence and caring will pave the way for amazing things in her future.  

On the heels of Lia's birthday was Gwen and Tim's 20th Wedding Anniversary.  While they had at one time, planned to go on a big vacation for thier anniversary, logistics just didn't make that possible.  Instead of going away, they asked if I would watch all four kids for a few days at my house, so that they could be "kidless" at home.  They had a wonderful couple of days, enjoying the time to do as they pleased, when they pleased!  

We don't often have the chance to be at my house without Gwen and Tim, so the kids were really looking forward to this visit.  We went out for a furious game of Mini Golf, which was really a lot of fun.  The kids were so happy to get in an extra visit with Grace and baby James without a "very long car ride".  Grace was happy to share her really small pool and a walk to the nearby playground.  We also had many games of Zingo and Candyland.  The time passed so quickly for me.  I am really cherising all the time I have with the kids. With Lia being 15, I know these times together are quickly coming to an end.  

 Since Doug has  returned to work after a couple of weeks home, I have gotten to visit and see James and have play time with Grace.  I know how much help a pair of extra hands can be with a preschooler and a newborn.   Grace and I have had lots of fun, especially when it is not just too hot to be outside.  

I love this photo I snapped of Grace one morning when the light was streaming in through their patio doors.  She is certainly all of the personality that you see in this picture, along with her daddies big eyes!   For the most part, she is quite happy being a big sister and very ready for the time that James will do more than eat and sleep and actually play with the many baby toys.  

The sunlight in this picture is a reminder of the very real "Son light" that covers over all of my family.  Every day and in so many ways, I can see and feel the presence of Jesus with us.  We have thankfully, as a family, survived the pandemic.  We are so blessed with James joining our family.  Being together to celebrate James arrival certainly helped us all know and feel Jesus.  At different and unexpected times, missing Ken becomes very real.  Last week my Timehop showed a picture of the last picnic that Ken and I ever went on last year.  It really didn't seem possible to me that a year had passed since that day.  Ken was happy to be outside by a lake, eating our takeout food.  It was a wonderful cool evening and we spent several hours watching the birds and listening to the sounds of nature.  The surprise for me was that this picnic happened in June.  I would have told you that it must have been August because in my mind this was one of the last times that Ken asked to do something like this. I am so thankful that we had this time together in nature.  Grief is so strange.  Things that you never thought about just hit you out of the blue.  This photo reminder was one of those things.  I happened to be with Ellie, Zeke and Anna when I saw this reminder.  The kids immediately said, "well we should go on a picnic to remember Grandpa".  It was exactly what I needed.  Sometime in the near future, there will be a family picnic on the calendar.  

My heart goes out to so many who face these grief triggers without someone to say the exact right thing when it is so needed.  It is at these times that I am so thankful for that Sonlight around me and the love and support of family and friends.  

Jesus, thank you for your  constant presence and peace that surrounds us.  Holy Spirit, give us courage to walk through times of grief and sadness,   Remind us all to see and feel your presence as we bask in the light of sun.  Thank you for family times, for children, for fun and for the blessings of new babies.  Amen