Surprising responses...

This "Blog Book" arrived in the mail today.  I have ordered one every year since I started this blog in 2013.  Twenty nineteen is the seventh book on the shelf.  This last year has been a very tough year of blogging for me.  I paged  through this book and was quite amazed at some of the blogs.  I really thought that I hadn't written very much.  Yet, here it is, in book format, proof that I have continued to write.  I spent several days in the first week of 2020 thinking that I would just stop blogging.  That reflection was started by the process of ordering this book.  And then came that "muddy puddle" experience with Gracie that brought forth my first blog of 2020.

I don't think that there has been another blog in the last year, that has gotten the response that this blog generated.  I had posts, messages, private DM's, emails all saying the same thing!  People affirming the words I wrote about 2020.  That feeling of being so "done" and not really knowing what was ahead, were common to so many people.  I had someone from an "unknown region" send an email to my blog connected account, saying how much they appreciated knowing that they were not alone.  It was a surprise for sure.  Sitting in my little room, all alone and putting words on a screen can sometimes feel very lonely.  I always wonder "why am I doing this?"  I often think, "does anyone even read this?"  It is certainly hard to share when you have no ability to gauge the response of the listener.  I confess that part of the reason that I have continued to blog is for my own benefit.  These blogs represent a piece of our family history.  The stories and photos that are included may, one day, be important to my children and grandchildren.  That is why I have taken the time and spent the money to have the blogs put into paper format in these books.   But then the Lord reminds me that there is so much more going on through this blog.

At the end of the year, I went back and reviewed the statistics of my blog.  I looked at the "audience" by country.  I also looked at which posts were viewed most often.  It was so interesting.  I have a couple of older blogs that continue to be read over and over.   The top countries to read my blog in 2019 (besides the United States) were Russia, Kenya, Germany, France, Ukraine, Portugal, Sweden, United Kingdom,Indonesia and "unknown regions".  That unknown region category is new in the last couple of years.  I am not really sure if this represents China or Middle Eastern countries that might have restrictions on internet viewing.  But almost every one of my blogs is read by people in that place.  At one time I had a list of all of the countries that had appeared on my blog, but sadly, I lost that list.  I remember that there many, many countries - some I had to look up to find out where they were. Since 2018 my readership went from the thousands on each blog to less than a hundred.  This happened when Google stopped auto sharing Blogger blog posts.  I know that many people who had been reading just couldn't find my blog any longer.  I considered stopping my blog at that point.  But every time that thought crosses my mind, I seem to have a blog that touches so many people. 

One of those very old posts that is viewed over and over is called "Disciples who make Disciples" from July of 2016.  It was a post about the Bible Boot Camp at Gwen's church which is their vacation Bible school.  That year the kids learned about refugees in various countries.  I noticed that Turkey shows up when this blog is read.  One of my most read blogs ever is titled "What I learned at Vacation Bible School - Today" from July of 2013.  Over and over, this shows up as a blog being read now.  Clearly, the subject of Vacation Bible School is popular.  Among my most read posts is the blog I wrote after the death of my 10 day old grandson Lucas in 2014.  I don't remember writing that post, I know it was a struggle.  But I am so thankful that I pressed on and shared in the post titled "From Joy to Sorrow to Hope".  So many people have told me just how much that blog spoke to them. 

It has taken me a while to remember that Jesus is bringing the exact right people to my blog, at the exact right time for them. My job - my concern - is only that I continue to share what the Holy Spirit puts on my heart to share.  I just need to continue to pray that those people will see Jesus through my writing.  So, thank you to all who take the time to read these words.  I am so grateful for the comments and the responses that let me know you are out there.  It makes this writing thing so much less lonely.  As always, I am praying that you will be blessed by the words on the page.  Now, on to another posting....

Jesus, thank you so much for your continued encouragement to share these words.  Holy Spirit help us all to feel your presence with us, no matter what our circumstances are.  Give me courage and boldness to continue to share on this platform.  Thank you Jesus, for your great love for us.  Amen

Words for 2020... and beyond

So last week we had more weird Chicago weather.  First it was quite cold.  Then it warmed up and it rained.  By warmed up, I mean that it was in the 40's.  When you have an almost three year old, cooped up in the house for what seems like days on end, you take advantage of a break in the weather to go outside!  Grace has become quite fascinated by Peppa Pig videos.  She noticed the puddles and asked to wear her rain boots so that she could "jump in muddy puddles!"  This is something that happens in almost every Peppa episode.  So, with winter coat, hat and gloves AND rain boots, we went for a walk in her neighborhood.  She was delighted to find a couple of puddles (not really muddy) to jump in.  She was so excited.  It sort of made me stop and think about my inner feelings about the new year, the new decade and quite frankly - my age!

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to always find such joy in the middle of  a storm?  This picture is just another reminder why Jesus told us all we need to be like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven.  Kids seem to find the fun and the good no matter what.  The desire to run and play and explore trumps how bad the circumstances are.  I want  to be able to harness that desire in 2020 and the next decade.  I have waited to post this blog until I had actually arrived at a "word" for 2020.  But here it is, twelve days into the new year and I have not settled on a word that feels right to me.  I mentioned last week that I have actually been doing more looking back rather than looking ahead in this year.  That looking back has not been about chronicling all the GOOD from the past, rather it has been more about the regrets.  Somewhere in this musing about the new year, I was reminded of the song Gods Not Done by Tauren Wells.  Towards the end of the song there is a bridge that says...

He's got a plan, this is part of it.  He's going to finish what he started.

He's not done,  God's not done writing your story.  

No, he's not done, God's not done with you.

It was one of those moments where I stopped and said, "Okay God, I'm listening".  It took a few weeks, but I got the message.  The thing is, I suspect there are many more people out there who are feeling the same way that I was.  I don't know if it is my age, the idea of a new decade, or what.  But all I felt looking at the new year, was DONE!  And then this song came back - loudly into my thoughts.  Being reminded that God wasn't done with me was a gift, even when all I felt was a bit tired and not really looking forward much,  It was more than just a reminder, it was the kick in the pants moment for me to stop all the bad inner dialogue I had been having.  You know what I mean, don't you?  Those thoughts that run through your head that you know are not Godly.  The thoughts that age really does matter and you missed your chance, you are too old now.  That is all rubbish.  

The truth is in that song.  God is not done with any of us.  God knew us before we were born and He knows our story.  It is His plan to finish that story in His timing.  

My word for 2020 and for the entire decade is EXPECTANT!  I can't wait to find out what is in my story in the years ahead.  Having an expectant heart means that I will look for the "muddy puddles" in the midst of the rainstorm.  When I find them, I will jump for joy.  I will celebrate the goodness of God in bringing forth the rain that created those puddles.  It also will be an encouragement to remember that God is the bringer of all good things.  The sunshine on the warm summer days, when things are going well.  As well as the light in those dark times.   

I don't know exactly what the year ahead will be like.  But today for today, I am much lighter and much more peaceful, knowing that God's got a plan for me and I don't have to figure it out.  

Jesus, thank you so much for being with us all, everyday as we walk through our day to day life.  Thank you Holy Spirit, for the reminders you bring to us through songs, through stories and through other people.  Keep us all aware of the childlike faith that keeps us close to you.  Give us eyes to see the joy in the midst of the storm.  Thank you for loving us..  Amen