A busy week with Ellie, Zeke and Anna

Every year, when Gwen and Tim lead a Youth Mission Trip from their church, I get to spend the week with the kids that are so young that they can't go on the trip!  Lia has already had a couple of trips, and in just a short time, Ellie will be going.  This year, it was great to have Ellie, Zeke and Anna for a week filled with fun and adventure.  

Gwen always leaves small gifts for the kids to open each day, along with a card telling us a bit about what they will be doing on their mission trip that day.  On this day, the kids got 6 very fun card games.  Over the course of the week we played these games for hours - and I mean hours!  Go Fish and Old Maid were the favorites and Anna and I played War over and over.  Having the swimming pool was such a wonderful treat for me.  I love to swim and we often spent many hours in the pool.  Sometimes two or more times in one day.  The weather was really good for us, and I picked the one "cooler" day to take the kids to Great America. 

The kids have memberships there and know the park like the back of their hands.  They led the way around the park and managed to get on all of their favorite rides (except for one), in spite of the fact that it was a beautiful day and the park was pretty crowded.  We stayed for about 5 hours and left with plenty of time to take Ellie to dance.  

The kids were excited to get new floats for the pool as one of their daily gifts from Gwen.  I saw how much these kids played with these floats and I was getting a lot of use out of them also!  All of the kids swim like fish and have so much fun playing together in the pool.  

I had promised to take the kids bowling, so on the last full day of the trip we finally got there.  Each of the kids got several strikes and several spares.  They did so well even though they don't often go bowling.  I had fun watching them bowl, and they couldn't believe that I had once been a really good bowler.  

On the last day I took the kids to a breakfast in a sit down restaurant.  As always, the kids ate everything that they were served.  It is so much fun to be with them and watch them share with each other, making sure everyone gets exactly what they want.

After breakfast we went to the "Big Park", another tradition from the years past.  I had promised Zeke that we would go to the skate park and this was the last chance.  

The week was filled with so much fun, so much laughter and so many hugs.  I can't ever express how much this time with the kids means to me.  When you get to spend time with the kids like this, you really find out so much about them.  I saw how caring Ellie is with Anna and how she will do anything to make Anna feel special.  One day she made up a scavenger hunt for Anna with notes all over the yard.  We also had a special "Dance Recital" hosted by Ellie that featured Anna as the dancer.  It was hours of work and practice.  I got to watch Zeke playing some on line video games and it was certainly an education for this grandma.  I heard Zeke sounding very mature, interacting with other players.  I heard him often opt out of some games if there were "bad words" being used by players, and often taking other players with him when he did this.  He would be open to ask these players if they believed in Jesus and I heard him talking about Jesus and the Bible more than once.  I also realized just how much Zeke was learning from playing these games.  I saw him using strategy and planning to work together with other players to score points and win the game.  It was a really different perspective than you might have about video games.  I am very aware of all of the limits that Gwen and Tim have placed on these games that make it safe for the kids.  Anna often talks about being the youngest and was really glad to hear that I am the youngest of my siblings.  She loves to swim - I think more than any of the other kids - and was very happy to have me there willing to swim with her whenever she wanted.  I loved having her read to me each day.  Anna was the first to want to help me with whatever I was doing and she helped with dishes and laundry, even when it wasn't her "job".  The couple of times that Zeke and Ellie didn't get along well, Anna was always wanting to be the peacemaker.  She really wants her siblings to get along and she is pretty quick to tell them that.  

During the week, the kids and I prayed over the items on the cards Gwen left for them.  We talked about the area that they were visiting and the poverty and sometimes homelessness that the kids there experienced.  It seemed like each of the kids really understood just how blessed they and their family are.  I especially like this connection to the Mission Trip.  It certainly helps me focus on what God might be doing through this time.  

Yesterday marked 9 months since Ken died.  It is hard to imagine and in some ways it seems like much longer that he has been gone.  It was one of those unexpected times, when grief suddenly hits you.  There was really no good reason, other than the date.  I am still finding it difficult to plan any vacations even though the COVID restrictions have lifted.  So in the next week, I am making it a point to begin to plan a trip away.  I know that when I do set things in place, it will mark a new beginning for me.  We finally had some much needed rain last week but one of those days of rain also brought some bad storms.  I found myself sheltered in my downstairs bathroom, while the sirens blew.  Fortunately, the storms passed over my area but sadly some areas near me were damaged.  It was certainly proof that we have moved into summer.  I am working on giving myself grace to walk through this grief process.  I often remind myself that it is normal for me to have these times were I feel stuck.  I am so thankful that my family and friends also continue to support me in this ongoing journey.  This time with the kids certainly helps and getting time with Grace and baby snuggles with James are also a joy. In spite of grief and loss, life is good.  Yes, I am blessed.  

Jesus, thank you for time with my kids that fills my heart so full.  Holy Spirit, remind all of us walking through grief that it is ok to move as slowly as we need to.  Help us surround ourselves with grace.  Jesus remind us all to see others as you see them.  Thank you for opportunities to go out of our comfort zone to share your love with others.  Give us courage to take the next step when it seems hard.  Amen

Lia is 15 and Gwen and Tim celebrate their 20th Anniversary!

I always appreciate doing these blogs because it helps me to reflect on just how blessed my life is!  Just after our family welcomed baby James,  Lia turned 15 years old.  It is truly hard to imagine that I now have 7 grandchildren!  And as the oldest, Lia is now well on her way to the end of her childhood.  

Lia is such a wonderful young lady and I loved tht I got to be with her to celebrate her special day.  I can't believe that she is now taking (gasp) drivers ed and will getting her permit soon.  Wasn't she just a tiny baby?  I love seeing how well she cares for her many friends and is always the first to give a word of encouragment to others.  Her confidence and caring will pave the way for amazing things in her future.  

On the heels of Lia's birthday was Gwen and Tim's 20th Wedding Anniversary.  While they had at one time, planned to go on a big vacation for thier anniversary, logistics just didn't make that possible.  Instead of going away, they asked if I would watch all four kids for a few days at my house, so that they could be "kidless" at home.  They had a wonderful couple of days, enjoying the time to do as they pleased, when they pleased!  

We don't often have the chance to be at my house without Gwen and Tim, so the kids were really looking forward to this visit.  We went out for a furious game of Mini Golf, which was really a lot of fun.  The kids were so happy to get in an extra visit with Grace and baby James without a "very long car ride".  Grace was happy to share her really small pool and a walk to the nearby playground.  We also had many games of Zingo and Candyland.  The time passed so quickly for me.  I am really cherising all the time I have with the kids. With Lia being 15, I know these times together are quickly coming to an end.  

 Since Doug has  returned to work after a couple of weeks home, I have gotten to visit and see James and have play time with Grace.  I know how much help a pair of extra hands can be with a preschooler and a newborn.   Grace and I have had lots of fun, especially when it is not just too hot to be outside.  

I love this photo I snapped of Grace one morning when the light was streaming in through their patio doors.  She is certainly all of the personality that you see in this picture, along with her daddies big eyes!   For the most part, she is quite happy being a big sister and very ready for the time that James will do more than eat and sleep and actually play with the many baby toys.  

The sunlight in this picture is a reminder of the very real "Son light" that covers over all of my family.  Every day and in so many ways, I can see and feel the presence of Jesus with us.  We have thankfully, as a family, survived the pandemic.  We are so blessed with James joining our family.  Being together to celebrate James arrival certainly helped us all know and feel Jesus.  At different and unexpected times, missing Ken becomes very real.  Last week my Timehop showed a picture of the last picnic that Ken and I ever went on last year.  It really didn't seem possible to me that a year had passed since that day.  Ken was happy to be outside by a lake, eating our takeout food.  It was a wonderful cool evening and we spent several hours watching the birds and listening to the sounds of nature.  The surprise for me was that this picnic happened in June.  I would have told you that it must have been August because in my mind this was one of the last times that Ken asked to do something like this. I am so thankful that we had this time together in nature.  Grief is so strange.  Things that you never thought about just hit you out of the blue.  This photo reminder was one of those things.  I happened to be with Ellie, Zeke and Anna when I saw this reminder.  The kids immediately said, "well we should go on a picnic to remember Grandpa".  It was exactly what I needed.  Sometime in the near future, there will be a family picnic on the calendar.  

My heart goes out to so many who face these grief triggers without someone to say the exact right thing when it is so needed.  It is at these times that I am so thankful for that Sonlight around me and the love and support of family and friends.  

Jesus, thank you for your  constant presence and peace that surrounds us.  Holy Spirit, give us courage to walk through times of grief and sadness,   Remind us all to see and feel your presence as we bask in the light of sun.  Thank you for family times, for children, for fun and for the blessings of new babies.  Amen

Welcome James Kenneth Rowley! Such a Joy!

 The long wait has finally ended!  James Kenneth Rowley was born on May 24, 2021.  His name was a surprise for everyone, since Doug and Susie had not made a final decision until he was actually born.  I still can't get over the surprise that this name brought.  Doug and Susie had decided on this name since it was in honor to Susie's dad (Steve's middle name is James) and Kenneth is, of course, to honor Ken.  But sometime in the first day I remembered the very first picture we have of Ken. 

Ken was adopted and he had spent several weeks in the hospital before he went home with the Rowley's.  The nurses had named him after the two doctors who had delivered him by C-section (not very common in 1952).  Those doctors first names were James and Joseph.  Ken's very first name was James.  Doug and Susie did not remember this fact at all.  It was such a God moment for me.  Truly our new little James is a gift to our family and one that Ken would have treasured.  

I had the wonderful pleasure of being with Grace while Susie, Doug and James were in the hospital.  Grace recently "graduated" from 3 year old preschool and one of the special awards from her school was a day at Blackberry Farms.  This is an amazing place with animals, activities and reinactments that were sure to please a preschooler!  And it happened to fall during the time I was watching her.  So off we went to Blackberry Farms!

Grace got to ride the Merry Go Round, and a REAL pony!  We rode the train, we saw lots of animals including her very favorite - a pig!  She was very facinated with the ladies who were carding, spinning and weaving sheeps wool.  We spent a long time watching the process.  Grace's preschool is actually held at this amazing location so she had experience seeing the animals during the year.  At the end of the day, Grandma delighted her with a candy stick treat.  

I got a chance to visit with Susie, Doug and James in the hospital the day after he was born.  All of us were thankful that the COVID restrictions had begun to ease and a few visitors were allowed to come during very limited hours.  So all of the grandparents had a chance to meet James when he was first born.

The next day, I got to witness the homecoming and see Grace's reaction to her new brother.  It was such an amazing event and I feel blessed to have been there.  Kylie and Grace were so gentle when Doug let them see James in his car seat.  Grace was so excited!  She could hardly stand the wait to get to actually hold her brother.

This picture will always be one of my very favorites.  You simply can not deny the total happiness and joy on the face of this big sister.  And James looks cozy and calm.  

It has been such an up and down time since Ken's death, which was exactly 8 months before this picture of Grace and James.  For me, it seems like James birth has propelled me into a new season.  Certainly helpful in this change is the easing of COVID restrictions.  The weather is now very warm and we are truly in the grip of summer.  One of the many articles I have read after the death of a spouse, talked about living through the first year after the death.  The advice given was to mark the changing of the seasons and see the joy in each one.  For me that included the colors of the leaves last fall.  The softly falling snow in the winter and the eruption of the spring flowers.  And as we are moving into summer, I will celebrate the warmth and joy of all of the grand kids as they run and play outside.  What a wonderful summer is ahead,

Jesus has been so present and so real to me during these past eight months. In spite of the huge loss, I have managed to stay on an even keel.  I am so thankful for family and friends who have given me so much support.  My small group has been around me and we always talk about "holding up each other's sheilds",  based on the picture of Roman soldiers standing with their sheilds locked, each one being able to have a ligher load to carry.  I will never underestimate the power of others to carry us when we feel like we might not be able to go on.  It has never been more obvious how much we need each other, than when we were forced apart during COVID.  I am so looking forward to catching up with friends I have not seen, going on trips again, and really enjoying time with my family.  I am so hopeful and encouraged for the time ahead.

Jesus, thank you for new life and the plans and destiny that you have for James.  Holy Spirit, be the encouragment for all who are experiencing loss.  Surround us with your love and presence.  Thank you for bringing us through the trying pandemic.  Give us courage to go out and bring your love to those around us.  Thank you Lord.  Amen