I know that February is the shortest month of the year, but in 2021 it has seemed so LONG! On February 2, the groundhog predicted 6 more weeks of winter and it sure looks like he was correct. For the first time this winter, we have had snow, snow and more snow. Topping that off, it has been COLD! Not just chilly, but down right cold. Below zero type cold. I really have no excuse for not blogging much, other than there is not much to blog about!
Actually, the end of January and the beginning of February mark two very special birthdays in our family. Anna turned 7 and Grace turned 4. Because, thanks to Covid, almost everything is being done on line, I ordered a balloon delivery for both girls. Anna's birthday was first, and I was actually at their house when they were delivered.
It really is the small things when you are young. She was delighted with these. So much fun to see and be a part of her excitement. Because Gwen and Tim's family have all had Covid, Gwen decided to look into a "real" party for a few of Anna's friends. Gwen found a trampoline park that actually has been renting out the entire facility for private parties. So instead of a crazy, crowded and scary jump park, Anna and her friends and Lia, Ellie, and Zeke had the place to themselves. It was a jumping great time on Anna's actual birthday!
Even Tim got into the fun and it was so good to see the kids actually out and having fun. There were just a few extra kids added to this party, and everyone had such a fun time. It was a safe place with only 10 kids. I am so thankful for birthday fun with the kids.
Grace's birthday was next. I arranged for her balloons to arrive on her actual birthday. Doug and Susie planned a Zoom party for Grace on the Saturday after her birthday. Since Susie is pregnant, the Zoom party is the safest option for their family. Again, so thankful that there are options during this crazy pandemic!
Grace was just as excited about her balloons. It was so fun to chat with her about her birthday. I didn't get any pictures of her party, although I did "attend" the Zoom event. It was so fun to get to "meet" her friends from preschool and to see how much all of her friends had grown in the last year. I did get to visit with Grace one day last week and we played outside for a few minutes.
Even though it was only around 12 degrees, we had a great time. Grace found lots of icicles and we made snow angels and climbed the snow hills. Even a short visit does the soul good and I felt refreshed after spending these few minutes with Grace.
The biggest news of the last couple of weeks - I managed to get my first Covid vaccine yesterday.
I really don't know how I got the appointment, other than to say it was clearly a God thing. I had been trying to find open appointments over the past two weeks, even setting an alarm and waking at midnight to try to find available times within 50 miles of my house. Although I am healthy, I am over 65 and therefor qualified for a vaccine. Because of Susie's pregnancy, there is a bit more push for our family to get vaccinated before the baby comes. I just happened to look at 11;30 in the morning one day, and there were appointments available less than 10 miles from my home. I jumped on it, and got my appointment. I am very thankful. I haven't had any reaction at all after the first shot and will be counting the days until I can get the second shot - already scheduled for March 12.
So that is what has been happening in our family these last couple of weeks. For me personally, this has been a really great time of refocusing on the things that are really important. I have been doing more Bible reading, more Bible study and also just spending more time away from Social Media, news, current events - well, you get the idea. I have been working on some projects and also doing a jigsaw puzzle. The most interesting thing, is my struggle around grieving. I don't know exactly what I thought these months would look like after Ken's death, but this was not it. There are no books/information about how to handle grief along with Covid. Since I have promised total truth telling on this blog, the reality is that I have felt really settled and at peace during this time. So much so, that I actually feel a bit guilty that I am not doing worse right now. People expect that losing a partner of 46 years would send you into a tailspin. But it has not been like that for me. I think that Ken's illness' over the last three years has prepared me for this time. While the last four months have had a lot of details to work through, it has not been traumatic. I know that having my kids help and support has been a major part of the ease of this time. Also not having financial concern brings things to a different place. For these things I am so thankful. Mostly, I know that being grounded in Jesus and having assurance of His care and provision has given me that peace I am feeling. I know that every person has their own journey and their own grief experience. If I have one piece of advice about grief, it would be to see each person as an individual and not to assume how they are doing. I have felt that my current "peace and calm" is kind of hard for some people to deal with. They don't know how to react when I tell them I am doing well. As a matter of fact, a few people just assume I am lying about my feelings. Honestly, other than the stress from Covid with making any plans to travel, I don't have much stress. It is funny how this makes some people so uncomfortable. I couldn't tell you what is ahead for me. I really don't know. But I am not alone in feeling this way. Because all of us have more or less put our life on hold this last year, everyone is pretty much feeling the same way. Most of us just want some "normal". The thing I have come to accept in the last months has been that normal doesn't exist anymore. We are always moving forward and the past is in the past. While we may resume more activities, we may travel, we may have more freedom to move around our communities, nothing will ever look like it was before Covid. And that is good. Each day is a new day. Let's all just celebrate every new day with joy and thanksgiving. Then we will be filled with that peace that passes understanding.
Jesus, thank you for your constant presence with us. Holy Spirit, keep our eyes trained on Jesus and our minds set on things above. Remind us that we are in the world, not of the world. Give us courage and boldness to continue to walk on in joy and thankfulness. Give us grace with others who may not be in the same place as we are. Help us to show your love, Jesus, to those around us. Amen
