When you miss an important anniversary....

Sometime in the last week, I realized that I had completely missed one of the biggest anniversary dates of my life.  I can tell you exactly when this picture was taken.  I remember that evening with clarity.  Ken and I had come from our first ever (and only) closing on the purchase of our new home. We moved in two days later.  My parents had taken us out to dinner to celebrate and my mom snapped this photo of Ken and I.  Our closing had been delayed on our new construction home because of a huge blizzard.  Originally we were supposed to close and move in by January 15th.  The date was continually moved back, due to weather delays.  I can't imagine what we were thinking when we signed the contract to buy our house in October of 1977 and it was a slab in the ground.  Given the weather and general issues that always happen, now I can see that it was a miracle that we were able to get in when we did. 

This is what our house looked like the day we moved in.  The date was February 16, 1978.  That was 45 years ago.  I have lived in this same house for 45 years.  

Here I am standing on the front porch, a couple of months later.  We still didn't have backfill or grass or a sidewalk or a driveway.  But we had a house!  Ken and I were so young back then!  I was 23 and Ken was 25 when we bought our home.   It doesn't seem possible to say, I have lived in the same house for 45 years!!!  I never imagined that I would be one of those people that never moved.  But, here I am.  And I am so grateful for the provision of the Lord of this very house.  Our parents thought that we might be making a mistake to buy this home.  It was in a very small and not well known town and also very "far away" from everything.  As a matter of fact, my dad said it wasn't even really a suburb of Chicago!  And, 45 years ago, I guess that was true.  While the town is still "small-ish" with a population around 15,000, one town that has a shared border with ours is the well known giant of Naperville (population 149,000) and clearly a suburb of Chicago.  So it was a tiny, rural town 45 years ago, it is not that now!  I have never been sorry that we made this purchase. 

Ken had always thought of our house as a "starter" home.  It is small with only 1200 square feet.  We certainly had a few years, when Gwen and Doug were in their teenage years, that our house felt very small.  But it was a short time.  Soon enough, they were out of the house and it was just us again.  Ken's dream home would have had a three car garage and a basement.  It would have not had an HOA to deal with.  I suppose there were times that I thought about how it might have been good to move.  But financially, it just wasn't possible for us.  We had chosen to refinance our mortgage several times to pay off medical debt and also to shorten the term of our mortgage.  When our mortgage was finally paid off, we took an equity loan to upgrade siding, windows, doors, floors and roof.  I can't tell you the peace of mind that I have now, as a widow, to live in a relatively upgraded home, without any debt.  I am thankful for this every single day.  

I suppose that some would say that I have a much bigger house than is necessary for me right now.  But these walls are home.  And more than that, I couldn't live anywhere else as ecomonically  as I can right here.  I know that there will be a time in the future when it will make sense for me to move.  But, right now, that is not the case. 

I have written about the clearing out that has happened since Ken has died. Ken had found ways to fill up every space (A very overstuffed garage and two storage sheds plus two attics and two closets).  With my kids help, we have mostly taken care of all of that.   I can now park in my clear garage. My attics are empty.  Most of my closets are pretty clear.  I have very little clutter around and try to get rid of more than I acquire.  It is certainly an ongoing process.  But getting rid of "stuff" has also brought me a wonderful feeling of freedom.   So, thankfully, I can say that I do not have 45 years of junk in this house.  I think this is one benefit of living in a small square footage home. 

So, if you have been seeing people suggest clearing out your home of "stuff", I strongly urge you to consider doing this.  It doesn't matter how old you are.  If you live in the United States, you most likely have too many things.  There are so many ways to accomplish this.   Some people are doing a space at a time.  Some do a bag at a time.  Some people choose a specific thing to downsize - like a book or DVD collection.  Do you really need to hang on to boxes for things that you may not even use anymore?  Or that may already be thrown out?    Having fewer things to take care, to clean, to move from place to place will give you more than just physical space.  It will give you mental and spiritual space as well.  

Many of my friends are now facing clearing out their parents belongings after their death.  This is never fun and never something that you want to do.  Take my word for it, your kids will not want your silver, your fine china or your matched glassware.  They just will not.   Make sure you give your kids those items that you want them to have NOW!  Let them have a chance to say no to things now, and then you decide what to do with them.  I have taken my own advice and sent a lot of items to the resale shop. And I have more to do.

Over the past few weeks, my Pastor has been preaching about Jesus'  "Last Will and Testament" from John chapter 14.  There has been a challenge to think about not just the "stuff" - the monetary amount- that we leave our families when we die, but also the WORDS we leave.  What do we want to give, as an inheritance to our children and grandchildren.  What do we want to leave to our future generations.  I don't think I have ever thought about this.  So, in the next weeks and months, I am going to be putting on paper a Spiritual "Last Will and Testament" for my family.  

Ending this "Anniversary memory" blog, asking you to consider clearing out your living space of stuff so ultimatly someone else doesn't have to do it.  And asking you to join me on the path of considering exactly what kinds of words of encouragement we leave for our loved ones.  Both of these things will help us have peace and calm in the future.  A fitting gift for a 45th anniversary.

Jesus, thank you for providing exactly what we need.  Your plans and purposes for us are far beyond what we could ever think or imagine.  Holy Spirit, keep our hearts thankful, even when we don't fully understand.  Give us eyes to recognize all the ways we have been held close to you, even when the path hasn't seemed clear.  Give us courage to let go of objects that are weighing us down.  Jesus  help us have hearts to share and give away from the bounty that you have given to us.  Thank you for loving us and drawing us closer to you.  Amen

 

Winter celebrations - January and February birthdays- leaving a Spiritual Legacy!

 Yesterday our family celebrated Grace's sixth birthday with a party at the Ball Factory!  This place was made for fun for those under 12 years old.  Us older folks had fun watching the sliding, ball shooting, climbing and driving fun of all the little ones.  Even Jimmy (and Doug) had fun exploring all of the activities.  

It was so much fun and I am sure that the parents took home some very tired kids.  These winter birthday's make it hard to have large groups in your home, so finding an indoor activity with a party room is surely the way to go!

Anna's birthday is actually January 30th.  It's hard to believe that she is nine years old! Her party was going to be an ice skating party on their lake, but sadly (or gladly depending on your perspective) it has been so warm that the lake was not frozen.  However, there was a week of snow and cold and blowing before her party, which was changed to an indoor roller skating party.  Sadly, I had to miss that party because of the snow/ice conditions that made driving impossible for me.  However - I did get to spend the actual day of her birthday with her!

I also got to be with Grace on her actual birthday - February 1st.  It was a school day for her so I saw her for a few minutes before her bus came. 

 And then I got to stay for dinner and celebrate with Doug, Susie and Jimmy.  So thankful for that time with Grace.

I am so thankful to be able to be with the kids on their special days.  So many of my friends are far away from their children and grandchildren.  Every time I drive away from a time with my family, I am filled with gratitude for the chance I have to be with them.  I really don't take this for granted.

Today I happened to be glancing at my emails and found a notification from Ancestry.com that I had a new "hint" in my family tree.  I only occasionally look at the DNA site, so it had been some time since I checked it out.  The new hint was about my great-great-grandmother with a confirmation about her death date/burial information.  I was so surprised when I looked at it and it was in the County that Doug and Susie actually live in!  In fact, the Lutheran Church and Cemetery is about 45 minutes from my house.  As soon as I can, I will be making a trip to that cemetery to see if I can actually find her grave.  And to add to my fascination with this information, this two times great grandmother of mine is not directly connected to the three times great grandfather of mine, who was buried very close to my current church (about 50 minutes from my house).  My mother never had any idea that so many of her relatives lived and died in the Chicago area.  And I am finding this information all because of a DNA test that I did several years ago.  I wish my mom could have known this information.  She would have been pleased to know that we did have roots in Illinois.  

My current writing project is about the Spiritual Heritage that we have through the prayers and life experiences of our past ancestors.  Both of these long ago ancestors of mine, Martha Larson and Lars Rokne were buried at Lutheran Church graveyards.  Both were members of the Lutheran Church.  Lars Rokne was actually the Music director and teacher at his church.  Sadly, the church and graveyard of his final resting place was torn down/moved in the early 1900's.  He died in 1856.  So I was never able to get any further information or see his grave.  But now I will be able to pay my respects at the grave of my great great grandmother Martha who died in 1904.  It brings reality to the concept of a Spiritual Heritage.  These two people made a choice to keep Jesus as an important part of their life.  And while this may seem like an unusual idea, make it a point to pray for your future generations.  Ask Jesus to continue to bring blessings on your family.  Seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as to how to pray.  Leave a Spiritual legacy that will bless your family in the future.  

At church we are doing a series on the Gospel of John.  Each week Pastor Dave has been unpacking things from each chapter.  Beginning at around chapter 13,  he is calling this the "Last Will and Testament" of Jesus.  The final things that Jesus wanted to leave with his disciples.  Last fall when Pastor Dave announced that he would be preaching on the book of John all through the school year, I was not particularly excited.  If there is any one book of the Bible that I have studied and studied, read and re-read over the years, it is John.   I have done at least three very in-depth Bible studies on that book.  What an eye-opening year this has been for me.  I have learned things every week and have really gone so much deeper into John than I could have imagined.  After today's service I was thinking about learning new things no matter HOW old you are.  I am certainly getting older - but I am also continuing to learn new things.   So thankful for the chance to learn and grow! And so thankful for this Spiritual legacy that Jesus left for us.  

Jesus, thank you for knowing how much we would need your words of direction in our lives.  Thank you for the inspiration that John was given to pen these words so that we have them over two thousand years later.  Holy Spirit, guide our prayers for our friends, our families and our generations.  Give us the words to say to those younger than us, to pass on all that you have done for us.  Help us have courage and boldness to share our testimony and to stand firm under tough circumstances.  Thank you for placing us in families, in churches and in communities that need your light.  Help us shine in the darkness!  Amen