Thinking about Ken today while visiting one of his favorite spots!

The spring weather was calling out to me today so I decided to visit the Morton Arboretum for the first time since Ken died.  They are still doing timed entry only, but I was able to get a time for today.  Although it is about 55 degrees, the arboretum was eerily empty.     I only saw about 10 people during the entire two hours that I was there.  I drove the entire place, stopping at some of Ken's favorite areas.  Last March we had gone to the arboretum the week before everything shut down.  Ken loved to take photos of the daffodils.  Last year they were not even up yet.  Today I saw many green shoots without any flowers.  I did find these Snowdrops as I was walking on some trails.  

It was very odd to NOT see the "Trolls".  I knew that they had been removed, but as I was driving around, I found myself looking for them as I approached the spots where they had been.  

Ken and I brought Gwen and the kids to see the five large troll statues in 2018.  We thought that they were to be removed in early 2019, but it was decided that they would stay up longer.  Ken was sad that he didn't get out "one last time" to photograph them.  But COVID shut down the arboretum while they were being removed.  

I stopped and decided to walk a trail on Frost Hill in the Pine woods.  This first picture is one of Ken's favorite spots to stop.  There are some incredible sunset views from this spot.  

I walked this trail and the smell of the pines was just heavenly.  It was so good to be out getting some fresh air.  I was totally alone up on the hill.  I never saw another person during my half hour walk.  

I saw many areas where they had done "controlled burns" to refresh the undergrowth.  There were also many downed trees and I did see (in the distance) some of the workers clearing away some branches.  

The sky was so blue and the woods were so amazing.  It was the perfect day to be out in nature.  Again, I just couldn't understand how I had the place all to myself.  It seemed like a perfect gift, especially for me.  

On my way out of the arboretum, I saw a couple of snow piles.  And in that brief moment, I realized that we are still in the season of winter.  It is Chicago after all, and snow happens often in late March and even April.  

    

 I am so thankful that I had this wonderful, taste of spring day to get out and breathe some fresh air.  Most of all, I am so thankful for the chance to visit Ken's favorite spots.  We have been members of the Arboretum for over five years.  Ken was part of the MAPS group (Morton Arboretum Photography Society) and he spent so much time here, doing what he loved most - taking pictures.  

Going through this grief thing is really interesting.  I am surrounded by all the things that made up our life together for 46 years.  Ken's photos are displayed on the walls.  His camera room is still (mostly) exactly as he left it.  While I have made a couple of changes, these are small things.  Ken loved the Spring season so much.  He hated winter and waited for any sign that spring was ahead.  I think that is why he loved daffodils and tulips so much.  I can picture him now, in that place of constant beauty, no snow, no rain, no tears.  He is happy and smiling and there is a camera around his neck.   I can only imagine all the amazing things he is capturing through that lens.  Today, being at the Arboretum, was almost like walking behind him, as I had done for so many years.  Watching as he "sized up" the perfect shot.  Sometimes knowing what he saw, often not really seeing it until I actually saw the finished photo. Yes, I felt very close to Ken today, and very close to Jesus.  

On my walk, I was thinking of an old song that we often sang at Praise Services at my church.  It was based on this verse....

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace, the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands"   Isaiah 55:12

My time in the Arboretum today was exactly like this verse.  I could almost hear the trees clapping their hands.. And I went out in joy, feeling great peace.

Jesus, thank you for speaking through creation.  Holy Spirit you bring comfort to us when we don't even realize that we need it.  Help us all to go outside and breathe in fresh air.  Keep our eyes trained on you and remind us to see joy in nature as spring comes.  Jesus help to quiet us so that we can be refreshed and filled just by being outdoors.  Thank you Jesus for loving us so well.  Amen

Starting March with Birthday fun and great weather

 

Here we go with another birthday!  Ellie turned 12!  That is so hard to imagine.  It seems that she was born just a short time ago.  She is pretty fond of "Hamilton" and you can see that in her gifts.  Her very excited expression reading her card is the promise it contained to see a "real" show as soon as Covid allows.  And we hope it can be Hamilton.  If not, it will be some other wonderful, on the stage presentation.  I took Lia when she was this age, and it is one of the best memories we have.  If not for Covid we would have already purchased tickets.  At least we have the HOPE of going soon.  

We actually had a family get together to sort of "celebrate" birthdays that we have missed.  It was so good to be together.  We all needed it.  

Grace came over to my house and played for a couple hours also last week.  It is soooo good to be getting somewhat back to normal.  I will be getting my second vaccine next week, as will Susie.  We have hope that Doug will be able to get his vaccines before the baby arrives in May.  Being able to resume some of our more "normal" activities has helped to make 2021 feel so much better than 2020.

It is such a blessing that the weather has changed and it seems that Spring has come.  Most of the snow has melted and we have had weather that you would have to call "balmy".  The birds are returning and I love listening to the bird songs early in the morning.  There is certainly a sense that times are changing.  I have been on a mission to start planning for the future.  Even though we still have so many restrictions in place, I am feeling the need to think about the places I want to visit.  I am quite anxious to have a "normal" scrapbooking weekend.  But sadly, most of our group are still feeling more comfortable being at home.  We are so hopeful that by the end of summer, we will be able to plan to be together.  

Ken's passing during this time of quarantine has made it very difficult for me to move into a new season.  Sometimes I try to imagine what these last 5 months would have looked like if I could have visited my friends, gone out for coffee, attended meetings and conferences and planned travel.  Truthfully, I feel like I am still stuck in 2020, for the most part.  I don't know about you, but I have been making myself go out, even when I don't have a real need to do so.  It is very easy to just get so used to being inside that you don't make the effort to even go out.  I am hopeful that the new, warmer weather will be an added incentive to leave the house.  

During the Lenten season I have been really seeking direction from the Lord that would help me look ahead and make plans.  The very frustrating thing for me was the lack of hearing anything at all.  I have certainly been in this place many times before, but it seemed so silly now.  In the past I have blamed busyness and activity as the reason that I just can't get quiet enough to really hear and get that sense of direction.  But if 2020 and 2021 have been one thing, it is QUIET!  Usually so, so quiet.  And then today, I saw this....  

   If God's voice seems silent, maybe he is whispering.  God whispers because he is so close to you!

Thinking about the closeness of God, and the comfort of that, sure puts things in perspective.  For now I will rest in the quiet.  And I will listen more carefully for that whisper of God.  If you are like me and longing to hear, wanting to have some clear direction, consider with me the closeness of God.  Train your ears to listen for that whisper.  One thing is certain, NOTHING can keep God from being close to us.  Not Covid, not an executive order, not fears, not whatever is happening around us.  Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.  Yes, he is close and he is whispering!

Jesus,  thank you for the reminder that you are close to me.  Holy Spirit, we so need that reminder that you are close to us and speaking to us.  Thank you for the changing of the seasons, the warmth of spring and the promise of new life.  Jesus help us to listen for your whispers.  Give us courage and boldness to continue to walk ahead.  Thank you Jesus.  Amen

It has been a very long February.....

I know that February is the shortest month of the year, but in 2021 it has seemed so LONG!  On February 2, the groundhog predicted 6 more weeks of winter and it sure looks like he was correct.  For the first time this winter, we have had snow, snow and more snow.  Topping that off, it has been COLD!  Not just chilly, but down right cold.  Below zero type cold.   I really have no excuse for not blogging much, other than there is not much to blog about!  

Actually, the end of January and the beginning of February mark two very special birthdays in our family.  Anna turned 7 and Grace turned 4.  Because, thanks to Covid, almost everything is being done on line, I ordered a balloon delivery for both girls.  Anna's birthday was first, and I was actually at their house when they were delivered. 

It really is the small things when you are young.  She was delighted with these.  So much fun to see and be a part of her excitement. Because Gwen and Tim's family have all had Covid, Gwen decided to look into a "real" party for a few of Anna's friends.  Gwen found a trampoline park that actually has been renting out the entire facility for private parties.  So instead of a crazy, crowded and scary jump park, Anna and her friends and Lia, Ellie, and Zeke had the place to themselves.  It was a jumping great time on Anna's actual birthday!  

Even Tim got into the fun and it was so good to see the kids actually out and having fun.  There were just a few extra kids added to this party, and everyone had such a fun time.  It was a safe place with only 10 kids.  I am so thankful for birthday fun with the kids.

Grace's birthday was next.  I arranged for her balloons to arrive on her actual birthday.  Doug and Susie planned a Zoom party for Grace on the Saturday after her birthday. Since Susie is pregnant, the Zoom party is the safest option for their family.  Again, so thankful that there are options during this crazy pandemic!

Grace was just as excited about her balloons.  It was so fun to chat with her about her birthday.  I didn't get any pictures of her party, although I did "attend" the Zoom event.  It was so fun to get to "meet" her friends from preschool and to see how much all of her friends had grown in the last year.  I did get to visit with Grace one day last week and we played outside for a few minutes.  

Even though it was only around 12 degrees, we had a great time. Grace found lots of icicles and we made snow angels and climbed the snow hills.  Even a short visit does the soul good and I felt refreshed after spending these few minutes with Grace.  

The biggest news of the last couple of weeks - I managed to get my first Covid vaccine yesterday.

I really don't know how I got the appointment, other than to say it was clearly a God thing.  I had been trying to find open appointments over the past two weeks, even setting an alarm and waking at midnight to try to find available times within 50 miles of my house.  Although I am healthy, I am over 65 and therefor qualified for a vaccine.  Because of Susie's pregnancy, there is a bit more push for our family to get vaccinated before the baby comes.  I just happened to look at 11;30 in the morning one day, and there were appointments available less than 10 miles from my home.  I jumped on it, and got my appointment.   I am very thankful.  I haven't had any reaction at all after the first shot and will be counting the days until I can get the second shot - already scheduled for March 12.  

So that is what has been happening in our family these last couple of weeks.  For me personally, this has been a really great time of refocusing on the things that are really important.  I have been doing more Bible reading, more Bible study and also just spending more time away from Social Media, news, current events - well, you get the idea.  I have been working on some projects and also doing a jigsaw puzzle.  The most interesting thing, is my struggle around grieving.  I don't know exactly what I thought these months would look like after Ken's death, but this was not it.   There are no books/information about how to handle grief along with Covid.  Since I have promised total truth telling on this blog, the reality is that I have felt really settled and at peace during this time.  So much so, that I actually feel a bit guilty that I am not doing worse right now.  People expect that losing a partner of 46 years would send you into a tailspin.  But it has not been like that for me.  I think that Ken's illness' over the last three years has prepared me for this time.  While the last four months have had a lot of details to work through, it has not been traumatic.  I know that having my kids help and support has been a major part of the ease of this time.  Also not having financial concern brings things to a different place.  For these things I am so thankful.  Mostly, I know that being grounded in Jesus and having assurance of His care and provision has given me that peace I am feeling.  I know that every person has their own journey and their own grief experience.  If I have one piece of advice about grief, it would be to see each person as an individual and not to assume how they are doing.   I have felt that my current "peace and calm" is kind of hard for some people to deal with.  They don't know how to react when I tell them I am doing well.  As a matter of fact, a few people just assume I am lying about my feelings.   Honestly, other than the stress from Covid with making any plans to travel, I don't have much stress.  It is funny how this makes some people so uncomfortable.  I couldn't tell you what is ahead for me.  I really don't know.  But I am not alone in feeling this way.  Because all of us have more or less put our life on hold this last year, everyone is pretty much feeling the same way. Most of us just want some "normal".  The thing I have come to accept in the last months has been that normal doesn't exist anymore.  We are always moving forward and the past is in the past.  While we may resume more activities, we may travel, we may have more freedom to move around our communities, nothing will ever look like it was before Covid.  And that is good.  Each day is a new day.  Let's all just celebrate every new day with joy and thanksgiving. Then we will be filled with that peace that passes understanding.

Jesus, thank you for your constant presence with us.  Holy Spirit, keep our eyes trained on Jesus and our minds set on things above.  Remind us that we are in the world, not of the world.  Give us courage and boldness to continue to walk on in joy and thankfulness.  Give us grace with others who may not be in the same place as we are.  Help us to show your love, Jesus, to those around us.  Amen

When cleaning a closet brings an unexpected surprise....

I have had lots of free time on my hands during this month, thanks to a  quarentine.  Although I tested negative, since I was directly exposed and had some very mild cold like symptoms, I decided  to be safe and stay home.  With all that said, I have been cleaning some boxes out of my scraproom closet.  I found some really intersting items, including my original Barbie doll and clothes.  The best thing I found was a large ziplock bag full of slides that were my dads.  Ken used to have a very expensive slide scanner, but it was beyond me where it was.  I started looking on Amazon and found a slide scanner that works with your smart phone and only cost $20.  It was to good to pass up.  

This gem was one of the first slides I scanned.  I know that I have never seen this before.  This is my mom and dad standing in front of our lake home at Lake Maud and I am guessing it was taken when I was a preschooler.  My dad looks really thin and it is pretty clear that had been sick and that happened around 1956-57.  This is such a great photo!  I love that my mom is holding my dads favoite camera.  

I spent several hours going through the slides.  There were many slides that had people that I could not identify.  There were many slide of places that had no identifiying features. I was in several photos with people that I have no idea who they are.  But then came upon these two photos.  

This picture is one that clearly brings perspective to the large age spacing in my family.  The toddler in the water on the left is my niece Amy.  I am the older girl on the right.  We were sitting in the water at Lake Maud. I have talked about my parents being grandparents as long as I can remember.  This picture pretty much demonstates that.  We never lived close enough to Karen and Roy and their kids for Amy and I to have a close relationship.  Something I always regretted.  

And then I saw this photo.  I think it was taken in 1967 or 1968.  That precious doggy Trixie was my dog for my entire childhood.  I remember my dad bringing home Trixie in a box when I was around 4 years old.  Trixie was a part of my life until after Ken and I got married.  Trixie lived to the ripe old age of 17.  In this picture you can see that Trixie was part Daschund but you can also see that she was part Cocker Spaniel (take a look at her fluffy ears!)  I love watching my grand kids with their dogs and this 

brought back so many good memories. I was 13 in this photo.  

And then I found this family photo which I believe was taken around Christmas of 1968.  Again because these were slides, I don't remember ever seeing them.  I remember that I once tried to find Christmas pictures from each year and I was missing so many years.  This was one of those years. My brother Greg was in college and my brother Jerry was just home for Christmas.  

Finding these slides and finally getting to actually see all of these pictures has really given me a push to continue to scrap and journal my pictures.  I keep thinking about all those photos that I can not identify.  It is so sad that there is really no one that can look at those photos and help me identify the "who",  "where", "when", or "why" of these pictures.  

Just writing those questions brings me to the new Bible Study I began this week and (so far) it has been so good..  This study, called "The Quest" is right up my alley.   The goal of this study is to build intimacy with Jesus and it uses journalling as a key component of each days activities.  The hour long introduction video had so many good points that I spent a long time just looking over my notes.  I especially loved this point...."Quiet time should be the loudest time of the day."  The idea behind this is that we should bring all of our questions to God during our quiet time.  Then we heard five questions that GOD asks of his people in the Bible.  

1.  Where are you?

2.  Who told you that?

3.  What are you seeking?

4.  Why are you afraid?

5.  How much more will the Father care for you?

I am excited to begin this quest, to be on a path of seeking more treasure from the Bible, and a closer walk with Jesus.  This study fits right into my word for 2021.   My word was "The Bible is the Answer."  All of 2020 seemed like a confused, twisted and shaking mess.  For everyone.  No matter where you live (GLOBAL pandemic), no matter what your economic or family status, no matter your age, race, religon, political party (which seemed so overwhelmingly divisive), life as normal seemed to be gone forever.  And my answer to all the "what do I do?" questions I asked Jesus, came through loud and clear.  The Bible is the answer. I can't wait to continue on the Quest, praying for some answers to calm the confusion, some peace and calm to quell the shaking, and some wisdom to move ahead in 2021.  

If an in depth Bible Study is not for you, I encourage you to find a way to add even a five minute quiet time to every day.  There are so many resources for quick and easy devotions.  Even just take a Bible and randomly open and read a passage or two. Stop and ask all those questions you have.  Take time to listen for Jesus' answer.    I am convinced that you will be blessed!  

Jesus, thank you for always hearing our questions, even when we don't loudly ask them during our quiet times.  Thank you for your leading, Holy Spirit, as we walk through each day.  Remind us to go back to the basics when things seem out of control.  And Jesus, your Word is the basic that we all need.  Thank you for the access we have to the Bible.  Holy Spirit, continue to bring the Bible to all people around the world.  Give courage and boldness to those who are working to translate the Bible into more languages.  Remind us everyday to be thankful for all that you provide.  Amen

So far 2021 is not much different than 2020!

 Anyone who was hoping that 2021 would be a change from 2020, must be really disappointed.  Here we are a couple of weeks into the new year.  So far, not much is very different.  We are still in a pretty tight lock-down.  All of the resturaunts are closed for indoor dining.  Masks are required to go inside anywhere.  Stores have limited occupancy and you are counted as you go in and out.  Some of the kids are back in school but most are still doing distance learning.  It sure doesn't feel very "normal".  The only thing that has been sort of normal for me, is that I got to watch Ellie, Zeke and Anna last weekend when Gwen, Tim and Lia had a retreat for some student leaders.  The kids love coming to my house and having "sleepovers" and it was a really fun time.  

The kids had a fun time playing cards.  I played many, many games of war with them.  We watched a couple of movies and they got to go sledding on my "baby" hill.  It was especially fun to watch them play, since it brought back so many memories for me of Gwen and Doug doing the exact same thing.  Zeke decided that he was going to try to stand on the sled and "snowboard" down the hill.  After a few falls, he actually got quite good at it.  It was a much needed change of pace for me.  I'm not lying when I tell you I am pretty tired of the four walls inside my house.  I can not recall any other time when I have done so little for such a long time.  All of the kids made me promise that we could have sleepovers again in the near future.  I don't know who looks forward to these times more - the kids or me!

Grace and I stay connected through our video phone calls.  I love that she wants to talk to me and will share all about her day.  I had to include this photo.  Grace knows how to take a screen shot during our calls and takes MANY pictures and sends them to me.  On this day, Grace must have taken at least 10 shots and my eyes were closed in ALL of them!  Now that is real talent!  It doesn't totally take the place of being with her, but it is the best we can do for now.  We are all axiously awaiting the time when we can get the COVID vaccine.  I seems like it will be several weeks or even months before I am able to get mine.  We have about 20 weeks more until Baby Rowley makes his debut and the vaccine needs to happen before then for sure.  

For now, puzzles have been my escape.  I finally finished the one I have been working on for weeks.  It was a real doozy.  It might look easy, but it was one of those puzzles that had pieces that were so close and could be misplaced.  I ended up having to take out about 20 pieces to find the ones that had been put in the wrong place.  So thankful that I was able to finally finish it.  I confess, there were several times I almost just gave up when I had about 40 pieces left.  Glad I perservered.  

Part of my new years plan was to go back to my actual Bible for my daily reading.  I have been using my Bible app on my cell phone almost always.  Until I actually took out my Bible and started using it, I did not know how much I had missed it.  

I think this is the 4th Bible of this type that I have owned.  The date in the front says that I started using it on August 11, 2004.  You can see it is well worn.  I love all of the notes that I have written on the pages.  The first day I took it out I actually spent several hours just looking at all of my notes!  In my reading today I came across these verses...

This is from Isaiah 41 and what I saw was that note I wrote....He holds my hand!  And there it was, verse 13,,,

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 

Do not fear, I will help you.

I really needed those words!  This has been a troubling and unsettled time in our nation.  I can't think of a time that I more needed these words of assurance that God is my helper.  And that I don't need to fear.  What a great way begin a new year.  Going back to an old pattern.  Reading the Bible from an actual book that I hold in my hands.  And most importantly, actually reading the Bible.  If you don't have Bible reading as a part of your daily routine, I strongly encourage you to do so.  Even if you just download a Bible App and listen to a few verses a day.  The Word is living and active and you will find that each day, it is exactly what you need.  Considering the times we are in, every one of us needs this.

Jesus, thank you for times of joy and peace as we fellowship together.  Give us all courage to continue to perservere during this pandemic.  Holy Spirit, help us to look to Jesus during those times we are fearful or unsettled.  Remind us to go to your Word for truth and confidence that you reign.  Thank you Jesus for the wonder and love of children.  Amen

Our Christmas - finally! Ending 2020 and on into 2021!

The Rowley family Christmas happened yesterday and it was amazing!  If there is one thing that I have learned in 2020 it is that family is EVERYTHING!  This wonderful group was used to being together about once a month - that was until Covid hit.   During the last few weeks of Ken's life and then right after, the kids came together, in spite of Covid.  I honestly don't know who was happier to be together.  It was a full day of smiles all around.  The kids had such a fun time.  We all celebrated being able to sit together for a wonderful meal (thanks to Tim).  And this year (thanks to Gwen and Tim's new house and the weather) the kids had a blast sledding!  

I didn't get a good picture of Tim in all of his snow gear, but Doug came prepared!  Including Goggles! The kids had several saucers, some small tubes, a longer sled and a big tube.  They spent several hours going down Gwen and Tim's front yard.  Needless to say, it is a LONG hill but also filled with trees.  At one point Tim and Doug had a race down the hill and Gwen, Susie and I couldn't stop laughing.  It was just so much fun.  With this new wonderful property, there is no need to travel to a sledding hill.  And inside is just steps away with warmth and hot cocoa.   It certainly made for memories that will bring smiles in the days ahead.  

I have been planning a special present for the kids since shortly after Ken died.  There is a really amazing company called Project Repat that makes quilts out of T Shirts.  A few years ago I made quilts for Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie from their stash of shirts from their younger years.  And I knew that I wanted to preserve Ken's shirts this way also.  Additionally, I decided to take all of Ken's Hawaian shirts and make a quilt for myself.  I love having it in my livingroom and I have so many memories of each of these shirts.   I had the idea that I also wanted to make a pillow for each of the kids with a photo of them with Ken and I and then use the shirt he was wearing in the photo as the back of the pillow. Thanks to a very large collection of  shirts, this was a fairly easy project. Here are the finished projects.

I have included a couple of the last pictures I have of Ken next to my quilt.  One with me that was taken on the Fourth of July and one during our tree removal in August.  The kids were so surprised and there were many tears all around the room when they opened their quilts and pillows.  Each of their quilts include a "photography" T shirt and a Christmas T shirt.  Most of the kids had their quilts over their laps and were hugging their pillows during the rest of the present opening.  It really felt like Ken was there with us during this kind of hard fist year without Ken.  

The kids had time to play with some of their new toys and we played a hilarious came of  Kids Against Maturity,  Tim, Ellie and Grace worked on a jig saw puzzle.  Anna and I were a team and I didn't get a picture of us, but we were playing!  Lia was the big winner at the end. 

The hours literally flew by.  The day ended much to soon for this grandma.  It was so life giving and such a great way to end 2020.  One of my presents from the Johnson's was the photo calendar I have been getting since 2007.  Usually this calendar includes pictures of our monthly get togethers.  But alas, this was not possible with the 2020 pictures.  Gwen and the kids decided they wanted a photo every month that includes Ken.  So each month I will have a new picture that includes a memory including Ken.  What a special present. 

I am so, so thankful.  While 2020 was challenging in so many ways, I am so thankful to be ending it feelling hopeful for the future.  Nobody ever "expects" to be widowed at 66.  But this is where I find myself.  I know that Jesus knows exactly where I am and there is plan for me in the years ahead.  Right now I am just walking day by day not looking to far into the future.  I have got myself on every list I can find in the hopes of getting a Covid vaccine as soon as possible. And my plan is to just keep on doing my best to stay safe.  This blog is very theraputic for me.  Every person who reads and likes these blogs, who leaves a comment or mentions to me that they have seen these posts is a treasure to me.  I could never thank you all enough.  I am praying that Jesus uses my words to bless others.  

Thank you Jesus for this year that ended in a time filled with laughter, tears, smiles and so many memories.  Holy Spirit, help us to all feel your presence with us as we walk into 2021.  Remind us to keep our eyes on you Jesus, and keep our hearts filled with gratitude and peace.  Thank you Jesus for your love and care for us in all things.  Amen  

Out with the old and in with the new.... and in with the old also!

 

Yesterday I  realized that my Keurig coffee pot had totally lost it.  Everytime after I made one cup of coffee, instead of shutting off and going to warm, it would begin to make a second cup of coffee.  I finally figured this out after finding coffee spills all over my counter.  It is really no surprise that this pot has bitten the dust since it was actually Ken's coffee pot at his work for several years.  I think we bought our original Keurigs in 2014.  We bought two - one for home and one for Ken's work.  After he retired, we stored this pot until our home unit quit working.  I think that was some time in 2018.  And, lets face it, 2020 was extra hard on this coffee pot!  Instead of one or two cups in the morning, I was making coffee ALL DAY!  So, I will be picking up my pot on Sunday morning - curbside, social distance pick up.  Until then, I am making coffee with TWO cups to avoid the counter situation.  I really think that this is a fitting way to end 2020.  Out with the old and in with new!  

Because my family is celebrating Christmas tomorrow (Yes, I know that it is 2021, but I am just thankful to be celebrating!) I have tried to stay in the Christmas spirit.  In my mail yesterday were several Christmas cards and letters.  Some of these were sent over three weeks ago - thanks Chicago area USPS!  I can't help feeling that I got those cards on exactly the right day.  I received a very special card and letter.

To catch you up, when my family moved to St. Paul in 1960, my very first friend was Sue.  She lived kind of kitty corner to us and we were only 6 month apart in age.  However because of the school cut off date, she was a year behind me in school.  We spent so many hours together and her mom was always my "go to" mom if I ever had a problem when my mom was at work.  Because my older siblings were in Junior High, our school hours were different.  When my mom left for work I would always go to Sue's house to wait until it was time for the bus.  I especially loved this because Sue had younger siblings and her mom would "let" me give the baby his bottle!  This was my first real time actually taking care of younger kids.  And I loved it so much.  Her family moved out of our neighborhood when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, but she lived close enough that we had many play dates and sleep overs.  We kept in touch via mail after I moved to the Chicago area.  We both married around the same time and our kids are also very similar ages.  In those busy child rearing years, we mostly communicated in yearly Christmas letters.  Since I was back in the Twin Cities often to see my mom and dad, we would often talk on the phone when I was there.  The last time I actually saw her was in 1987 when she drove to my mom's house to visit when the kids and I were visiting my mom. 

Our Christmas communitcation had kept us current with our jobs, our children and grand children.  In the last couple of years I have not sent out Christmas cards.  And I didn't receive a card from her for the last couple of years either.  I had actually been thinking about writing her letter this year, to share about Ken's death.  And then her card arrived yesterday.  Her husband passed away in January of 2019.  She gave me her phone number and said she would love to catch up.  We spent a wonderful couple of hours on the phone yesterday afternoon.  It is crazy how much we have in common.  If it were not for COVID we would have already been planning a trip to see each other.  What an amazing gift and a wonderful way to end 2020.  It was certainly bringing in the OLD to end the year!

I just can't get over how good Jesus is to bring these small bits of encouragement to us when we most need them.  Sue and I have so much shared childhood history.  It was interesting to hear some of her memories that I sure didn't remember!  More than anything else, I am hearing Jesus tell me that 2021 will be a year for me to connect with the past and to remember and record those memories.  I have known for many years that I have been called to write.  Hence this blog.  I began writing these blogs in 2013.  It hardly seems possible that I have been doing this for 7 years!  So I am going forward into 2021 with expectation for all that might be ahead.  Pretty sure that I can't imagine what 2021 will be like.  Yes, things will be different for me without Ken.  The last three years have been hard with Ken having so many health challenges  And then 2020 has been filled with Covid and everything that brought.   Not lying, I am  ready to have coffee with friends - actually at a cafe.  And I am so ready to be able to be with my small groups, not over zoom.  Mostly I am ready to be with my family and to give hugs and kisses whenever I want!  I want to not have to think about being "safe" when I get in the car.  But also I am more than ready for new adventures.  You can be sure I will be bringing you along for the ride!

Jesus, thank you so much for reconnecting me with old friends.  Help us all to look ahead with the assurance that you have carried us in the past and will continue to carry us into the future.  Holy Spirit, remind us how far we have come and then give us a vision for where you are bringing us in 2021. Fill us with your hope, your peace and your joy as we begin this new year.  Amen