This was my view from Ken's hospital room. I spent quite a bit of time looking out that window. Several times there were giant snowflakes that were floating UP due to the strong winds. That's right! I forgot to mention that we also had 60 mile an hour winds after an ice storm! The very painful tear of three major muscles left Ken pretty much not able to move around and wondering when his next pain medicine was due. Because of the serious muscle damage in his hip/buttock region, his leg swelled to a really alarming size, which compounded his walking ability. A urinary tract infection (caused by one of his medications) had the doctors searching for the site of a blood infection (which turned into a real wild goose chase). Needless to say, we now know that his heart is in pretty good shape, he doesn't have an infection in the area of the muscle tear, he doesn't have any lung problems and most likely the whole thing is a urinary issue! It was a stressful, long 8 days dealing with way to many doctors. This was the view from the waiting area on his floor, when I could manage to take a walk for a quick breather....
This was quite a learning experience for me and Ken. We learned it is true that the medical world doesn't really care if you can afford treatment or not, and they don't take that into account when ordering tests and scans and more tests! We found out that often times, when there are multiple doctors treating the same patient, they will not agree on
A. what is actually wrong with the patient or
B. how to treat the patient!
Several times we had heard one specialty doctor say "don't do that" only to have a different specialty doctor order that exact test! At this point we are just extremely thankful that Ken is home from the hospital, the end of the IV medication is in sight (in two days he will be done), and he is walking fine and getting around well. The orthopedic doctor who saw Ken on the first day said "In three weeks, you will be amazed with how well you are doing and in three months you will be totally healed". That doctor really knew what he was talking about.
For me personally, there were many lessons learned. I learned that I really miss seeing the grandkids every week. With our two week vacation just prior to all of this, it has been a LONG time since I got to spend the day with the kids.
We did make it to Anna's 5th birthday and Grace's 2nd birthday, but it is not the same as being with the kids while watching them.
Additionally I was reminded, again, how thankful I am for Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie. Because we live close by, there were many hospital visits, lots of phone calls and text messages, and so much care and concern for both Ken and I. It was such a blessing to have them around to be a sounding board as decisions needed to be made.
My praying small group kept me held up in prayer, when I was just exhausted and unable to even know what to pray. They were checking in with me, sending me encouraging words, and letting me know that I was not alone during this stressful time. They kept Ken covered in prayer when I didn't even know what he needed! I truly learned that this group of ladies are not just my friends, they are also my support and helpmates. If you don't have a close, small group I encourage you to find one soon. Like right now! Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Which is, in fact, the biggest and most important lesson that Ken and I learned from this last month. While it is good to make plans and look ahead into the future, it is also important to stay in the present day and appreciate all that it has for you. Things can change on a dime and you just don't know when a sickness or injury or job loss or some other event might just change your normal routine.
Last week, very near to our home, a senseless tragedy happened. A lone gunman walked into his long time place of employment and opened fire on his coworkers and on the law enforcement who responded to the event. There were deaths and many were injured. For so many families in this community, their normal was shattered that day. The nation has rallied to this community and prayers and support have come from all over the country. It was a wake up call for many who live their lives feeling as if nothing can touch them. It is a false sense of security.
I am so thankful that my security comes from Jesus and knowing who I am in Him. No matter what happens to shake my normal, to rattle those in the community around me, I know that Jesus is on the throne and He is in control. Whatever the storm, whatever the event, God has got this. Jesus warned us in Matthew 6:34, to not look ahead at tomorrow, but to stay focused on today. And I can assure you, in the last four weeks, every day has had enough to worry about! And knowing that God is in control, has given us great comfort.
Today I actually returned to my old "normal", meeting with my small group. It was a wonderful thing to actually get hugs from my dear friends. My heart and spirit were filled to overflowing with thanksgiving. Not only for these warrior women and their prayers, but mostly for the God that can not be shaken, who helps us walk through whatever comes our way. Thankful for today.
Jesus, thank you for being so near to us when we most need you. Holy Spirit, remind us to stand with those who have experienced a day that has changed their normal forever. Keep us mindful of those closest to us and give us sensitive hearts to bring your comfort and peace in times of trouble. Thank you Jesus for loving us. Amen
My motto during our frustrating months was: this too shall pass. Good to see yesterday and keep on praying.
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