Family and fun the first part of July

James has been such a joy for our family.  I have been trying to soak in as many memories as I can with him.  Gwen was able to visit and get her own share of baby love.  Grace just love seeing "the cousins" and because of distance and busy schedules, the kids don't get much time together.  So fun is on the docket when we are together.

We took a walk to the park and I managed to snap this picture of the moms with their kids!  They all love being together so much and it is great to see their friendships grow.  Covid has been hard on everyone but you can sure see it in the youngest kids.  Everyone is so glad for these family times.  I snapped this photo on the way to the park..

Anna and Grace have such a sweet relationship.  Their interests are very similar and they just love being together.  I can see some wonderful times together in the future

I got to spend part of the 4th of July with Doug and Susie, going to a local parade.  Ken and I had been at this parade with them in 2018 and 2019.  Ken really loved parades and it was good to celebrate, once again after Covid, at this parade.  James slept through the entre parade and Gracie loved getting the candy!  She could barely carry her bag of loot on the way home.  

We took some pictures after the parade when we got back to their house.  I love these yearly photos so much!  They just reflect how much the kids have grown and also all the changes in our family.  

Our last 4th of July pictures in 2019 were Ken and I with Grace.  Now we have added James but lost Ken.  So thankful for these pictures that mark the passage of time.  

Just after the busy 4th weekend, Susie and I took Grace and James back to Blackberry Farms.  I took Grace there on the day that James was born.  She was so excited to show Mommy and James around the park.  

It was a nice day, cooler and cloudy.  We spent a really nice couple of hours, feeding the animals, riding the pony, taking a hayride and riding the train.  It was the first real "outing" like this with James and he slept the entire time.  

While I was looking at my photos for these upcoming blogs, I found this really wonderful picture of James.

There are so many things I love about this picture.  It was just a casual picture I took of James when he had first started smiling.  When I was looking at this picture I noticed the placemat behind me on the table.  This was not a posed picture at all and I never noticed the placemat. Until long after the picture was taken.  To me it looks like Lucas is looking out over James.  James will grow up knowing his big brother Lucas, just as Grace does.  There is no "right or wrong" way for a family to move on after the death of a baby.  Or for that matter, the death of the grandpa.  I am so thankful that Jesus has walked all of us through grief that comes when you least expect it.  One thing I have learned in this process, all of the people in our "family tree" have sown into our lives in some way.  No matter how far away from us they are, there were seeds planted that carry on through generations.  There are connections that are a part of us.  I am so thankful that generations ago, my family decided to follow Jesus.  And because of that Spiritual seed, the Holy Spirit stirred me into my own faith walk.  Through the highs and the lows, through sickness and health, through death and new life, Jesus is with me.  And I know that those ancestors that I never met, along with those that I knew including Lucas, are celebrating with Jesus right now.  What I love most about this picture is that James is reaching out.  You can see his hand in the foreground of the picture.  He is reaching out into the future.  With all of those Spiritual seeds in his generations, I can't wait to see where he goes!  

Jesus, thank you for your leading and guiding every day.  Holy Spirit, remind us that you have a plan and purpose for each of us that was our destiny before we were even in our mothers womb.  Give us all patience and peace when we feel lost, alone or hurting.  Thank you Jesus for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  Thank you for family and fun times.  Give us wisdom as we walk every day toward that destination that you have promised us.  Amen

Busy month and no blogs due to a computer crash and moving on through grief!

 I am sure you are thinking, "what does this have to do with a busy month and a dead computer?"  Here's the thing!  I think this is the best ever picture of my July!  First, a bit of a background on this photo.  I found this little pine tree growing in my front yard.  I have no idea where it came from.  When I pulled it out, the entire root ball came with it.  So I planted it alongside my flowers and have watched it take root and grow.  My July has been filled with our family loving on James and so thankful for the new life that has sprouted from our family tree.  I have "transplanted" my working space from an old (very slow) tablet to a new, very speedy laptop!  

Most of the month, I have been focused on preparing my entire upstairs for new carpeting.  This has been quite an experience for me.  When I tell you that the carpet in the master bedroom has been there for 43 years, you might understand what I mean!  Yes, it is original, builder grade gold shag carpet that has never been replaced.  This "getting ready" part has explained partially why we have never replaced this carpet!  It is a lot of work to clear out and get ready to MOVE everything from all of the rooms when you live in a very small space.  While I thought I had cleared out much of the "junk", I have discovered even more during this process.  I even went through my scraproom and really cleared out things I know I will never use.   I have managed to empty 7 shelves that will find a new home at Gwen and Tim's house. Three trips to Goodwill and to many bags of garbage to count, and I am closer to that new carpet!  As of right now, the end is in sight and by the first of September, I should have a whole new upstairs!  I can't wait! 

Looking at that persistent little tree caused me to reflect on the last three quarters of a year in my life.  In some ways I feel a bit like that tree.  It was kind of out of place, there in the dirt by my front deck.  Suddenly being alone after 48 years of "togetherness" with someone sure does feel out of place. I have come to identify this feeling more quickly now, 10 months after losing Ken.  It happens so suddenly and without warning like when I find myself referring to "our" house. Or "our" kids.  Changing those thoughts to "my" has brought on that out of place feeling.  It is just a little thing, but one more reminder of loss.  While clearing out the bedroom closet, I came upon these two framed posters...

I have resisted throwing these out because of the sentimental value they have for me.  On my 18th birthday (September 1972), Ken gave me these two posters. I thumb tacked them to my bedroom wall.  It was a total surprise when I received these.  Ken and I had only been dating for a few weeks and the thought behind these posters was deep and meaningful.  A year and a half later, Ken had these framed and gave them to me as a wedding present.  This was written on the back...

It reads  "Love you XXOOXX   To my dearest love   May all that I can give you be joyous and wonderful  With all my love, Ken" 

These hung on the walls of our home or many years.  They have faded and the frames have  gotten damaged.  When the bedroom was painted a few years ago, they were moved to the closet.  Now they are preserved in photos, this blog and future scrapbooks.  I have been moved into a new season, a new beginning.  Transplanted in a way, into a new and different life, going from "our" to "my".  Although these pictures are no longer here, the thought - the meaning- the words are still with me.  The 48 years Ken and I were together had lots of ups and downs, many struggles, many tears and much laughter.  My heart is full knowing that it was Ken's desire for our life together to be joyous and wonderful.  

I can't wait to see how this little tree grows.  I am anxious to move ahead into all that Jesus has for me in this new season of my life.  I am so thankful, so blessed, so hopeful and excited for this next chapter.  

Jesus, thank you for the times you speak to us through nature.  Holy Spirit, help us to see through your eyes at times we are shaken and unsettled.  Help us to take root in the new places and the new seasons you bring us to.  Fill us with your power and love, Jesus, to carry us through times of transition and changes.  Thank you Jesus for your constant, unchanging love for us.  Amen