Love finding an old picture and getting some clarity on the present!

Recently Gwen pulled out a large ziplock bag of pictures that she had gotten from my mom in 2010.   I sorted through and took some of the ones that I knew I did not have.  This is one of those pictures.   Ken and I (holding Sheba) and my mom and dad.  This was taken sometime in the summer of 1978.  I assume it was around the time that my mom and dad stayed with us after their house in Elk Grove sold and before my dad's actual retirement date.  It was a wonderful couple of weeks with them.  My dad really loved Sheba.  I was glad to have them staying in our new house.  We had just moved in a few months before and I loved having my mom help me decorate!   The only odd thing about this time was that I was SOOOOOOO tired.  I couldn't figure out why I was coming home from work and falling asleep on the couch! I so wanted to enjoy the time with them before they moved to Minnesota. So a few weeks later, when I called my mom and dad to share some big news, my mom was not the least bit surprised.  She knew I was pregnant before I did!  Aren't mom's wonderful? 

When I look at this picture, I remember how much I missed my parents after their move.   I didn't really expect to feel so alone when they left.   But suddenly, I was far away from all my family.  And to add to it, I was expecting my first baby.   I really wanted my mom!  It didn't help to complain to my sisters.  Neither of them had mom close by when they had their babies.  As a matter of fact, my sister Julie had her first baby just after we left Minnesota and moved to Illinois.   My sister Karen had lived in South Dakota when her first was born and we lived in Minnesota.  So I decided I couldn't really complain about this.   But, none the less, I missed her very much.   And to top it off, my dad was very sick and hospitalized when Gwen was born.  So I couldn't even talk to her on the phone!   And they didn't get to come and see Gwen until she was about 7 weeks old.   I know that this is part of the reason why I am so grateful to have been with Gwen during the birth of all 4 of her children.  And why I feel so blessed to be able to spend one day a week with Gwen and those sweet grandchildren.  

It's good to think about these things.   First of all, it helps to put into perspective events from your past.  And then, it helps to clarify and give meaning to how things are currently.   I love that one picture can help me to understand more clearly why I can't imagine moving away from Gwen and Doug right now (or anytime in the near future! - Sorry Ken).  I am going to really enjoy all the time that I have with my kids and grandkids and take lots of pictures.  That way I'll have lots of reminders in the future!

Jesus, thank you for my family.  Holy Spirit, it is such a gift to realize how much you have guided and directed my life.  Thank you for pictures and memories.   Jesus, thank you for the chance to change our present in ways that effect the future.   Amen   

A little preview of April celebrations.....

I have been thinking about my family a lot during the last couple of weeks.  My birth family.  My mom and dad and my sisters and brothers.   Recently I was telling someone about my relationship with my mom and dad that was very different from my siblings.   And that is why I thought about the above picture of my dad.   This picture was taken in 1980.  It was the 80th birthday of my dad's sisters Agnes and Alice.  My dad, his sister Mable and sister Svea are standing behind the twins.   My dad was the youngest in his family - his siblings were 20, 17, 13, 13 and 8 when he was born.  (If you have read my previous blogs you might remember that my dad had two additional siblings that died the year he was born - brothers who would have been 18 and 6)  His siblings were mostly grown by the time he started school.   And because I was the youngest in my family, that was true for me also.  In many ways I experienced my mom and dad very differently than my siblings.  After we moved to Illinois when I was in 8th grade, my dad's job changed and he stopped traveling as much.  When he did travel, he often took my mom along.  And in the summer, I also got to go along. 

One of my very favorite memories with my mom and dad was a trip that we took in July of 1969.  I am totally sure of the date of this trip because I watched the moon landing in a motel room in Green Bay Wisconsin, with my mom and dad.  On that same trip, we drove into upper Michigan.   It was a really memorable trip for me.  On that trip I got to talk to my parents about their growing up years.  And I remember thinking that this was a very special time and I was blessed.

You know, there are many many things that I never talked to my mom and dad about.  And I regret the many missed opportunities to learn from them.  But I will continue to celebrate the memories and the fun.  I love that my dad continued to be close to his siblings for his entire life.   He made sure that I knew my aunts and uncles.  And he valued and treasured his family.  That is a great gift.

Jesus, thank you for helping me to remember and celebrate all that you have given me in my mom and dad.  Thank you for memories and pictures and connections to the past.   Holy Spirit, remind us all to treasure the little things from our pasts.  Help us to connect the dots from our past generations into the future.  Keep me on the path of celebrating and remembering!   Amen

Back to blogging.......pressing through into April

I've been off of the blogging train for the last couple of weeks.   It all started when I got sick.  Really sick and tired.  And sick and tired of being sick and tired.   I am still coughing and taking some over the counter medicines.   Over the last week or so I have been thinking a lot about this blog and all of the topics I have covered in the last 11 months.   The funny thing is that the more I thought about blogging, the less I was motivated to blog.   I considered all of the reasons that this might be happening.  But I really couldn't settle on any one thing.  But then I was looking at my calendar and I had this revelation................. April is a very hard month for me. 

I know that the last thing I blogged was wondering where Spring was!  And April should signal the start of Spring - or at least closer to a more usual Spring like temperature.   I used to love the month of April.  I had always dreamed of having a baby in April.  I thought it was the perfect month.   Alas, that was not to be, I had one March baby and one May baby.   Now I am quite happy that things worked out this way.  

So why is April hard for me?  Well, I have lost my dad, my sister and my mom, and my mother-in-law in April.   And I suppose that this should not really change my view of the entire month, but I think it is good for me to understand why I sort of dread April.   Once I began to understand this, I have decided to embrace and celebrate and remember and share for the entire month of April.   So get ready! 

During the last several weeks of "blog silence" (or near silence), along with sickness, I have had some amazing times of prayer, worship and revelations.   I have felt the power of people lifting me up in prayer.  I have felt the arms of Jesus holding me and healing me.   And I have spent some wonderful time considering my Bible readings from the Psalms to Revelation.   There have been so many little important lessons that I have learned.  I know that you will be hearing some of these in the month ahead. 

For now, March is coming to an end and April is just around the corner.  I am praying that you stay with me as I move on through April!  Jesus, thank you for all of the months you have given me.  Thank you for this blog and all that read these words.   Thank you for the promise of Springtime and the ability to celebrate even the tough times.   Amen

Spring where are you?????

So here is the recent bulletin board I helped put up at work this week.   The kids made the cute tissue paper flowers.   I sure was wishing that winter was done.  But, alas, it seems not to be the case.   Today it is COLD again.  And I am so tired of coughing!  I need some warm, warm weather and some sunshine to help bake this sickness out of my body! 

This winter has just been brutal.  I am certainly not the only person at work that has been sick - over and over again.  The children have mostly all been sick also.  Everyone is grumpy and so ready to just be outside basking in the sun.  So today I am going to think about all of the wonderful things to come....when Spring really gets here!

1.  SUNSHINE!   Lots of warm and wonderful days that are ahead! Yes!
2.  RAIN SHOWERS!  Can't you just smell that wonderful springtime smell of rain on the ground?  I don't think that there is anything better.  I love the smell of rain.
3.  BIRD SONG!  This morning, even though it was cold outside, the first thing that I heard when I opened the front door, was the chirp of the birds.  Welcome back birdies!
4.  FLOWERS!   I have seen some little green shoots in a few places and I just can't wait for those early spring flowers.  The Iris, the Tulips, the Daffodils.
5.  KIDS!  You know, the sounds of kids playing outside.  The bikes and the toys and the shouts of the children.

Yes, I will keep my focus on these wonderful sights and sounds of spring and NOT look at the weather forecast for the next 10 days.  And I will remind myself that even if it does snow again, it will not stay around for long.  And I will celebrate that our yard is totally free of snow and ice!  

Jesus, thank you for the change of seasons. For the reminders that are all around us of your great plan to bring forth new life from the darkness and dead of winter.   Holy Spirit, help us all to keep our eyes on what is ahead, rather than on what is behind us. Jesus help us to live in the knowledge of your care and love for us all.  Thank you for being my healer!  Amen  

Where I've been all week.......

Well this picture describes where I have been all week.  I started getting sick on Tuesday and it has been an up and down all week.  I caved and actually got antibiotics on Tuesday.  I had one really okay day on Wednesday and then I crashed on Thursday.  During the night on Wednesday I spiked a fever that simply refused to come down.  At one point I was sure that I would have to go to the hospital.  When you have a fever of 102 you are not thinking straight and sure don't feel well.   Thankfully, around noon on Thursday, my fever broke and it has stayed down since.  I actually went to work today and felt moderately well.  I would guess I was about 80%.  The cough with this bronchitis has just about done me in. 

A couple of interesting things about this week's experiences.   First, I was "treated" by a doctor on our new insurance plan called "MDLive".  You actually just call and they call you back.  Sometimes that includes a "video chat", but in my case, all he needed to do was hear me cough and listen to the sequence of events to know that I have bronchitis.  The advantage to this kind of sick visit was amazing.  I didn't need to leave my house.   And I got my antibiotics in less than 3 hours.   And the most amazing thing was the cost.  On our insurance plan the maximum charge may be $38 but will most likely be ZERO!   Did you get that???  ZERO for a doctor visit and medicine prescribed.   At first I was thinking this was just a bunch of quackery and a ploy from the insurance company.  But quite frankly, I was really happy with this service.  It actually reminded me of a time when I could call my doctor and they would send a prescription without seeing me.   I thought those days were gone.  

I am convinced that while the antibiotics helped with my healing,  it was the prayers of so many good friends that helped me turn that corner.  I could FEEL all the people praying for me.  And it was warm and comforting.   I just love that Jesus put us in community so that we would know that we can not do it alone.   I am so blessed by the many people who missed these blogs and messaged me to find out what was wrong.  I love that it was noticed that I had not blogged!  I feel very connected and cared for. 

Jesus, thank you that you are the healer.  Thank you for all the people who stand with us and pray for us when we are in need.  Holy Spirit, thank you for reminding people to stop and pray when a person or situation comes into their mind.   Thank you for new programs that actually work well.   Forgive me for assuming the worst about this new insurance program.  Thank you for the doctors and nurses who man this program.   Amen

Pretending is so much fun.....

After a fun and productive weekend scrapbooking, I spent the day with Gwen and the kids.  Unfortunately, Ellie was home sick from school so our morning included a trip to the clinic.  Thankfully, it seems that it is just a virus, and Ellie seemed almost herself this afternoon.  This fortunate girl got another birthday present today.  And I can tell you, these friends really know our Ellie!  There were delighted screams as she pulled each item out of the bag.  The amazing gift included this kitty mask and also the tiger ear headband.  Ellie was so happy to pretend to be a cat this afternoon. At one point even I had the mask and headband on! 

There is something so wonderful about preschoolers who can have fun without expensive toys.  A couple of great accessories and the play begins. Ellie had no problem crawling around and posing just like a kitty.    The interesting thing is that today is a day when many people "pretend" to be Irish.  They do this to join in all the festivities that happen on St. Patrick's day.  I am quite sure that there are many non Irish people who wore green clothes, ate a green cupcake and/or ate corned beef and cabbage today.

I am so blessed to know that I can be exactly who I am.  I don't HAVE to pretend to be something or someone that I am not.  That is so freeing and such a wonderful place to be.   It is really sad that many people go on for most of their life and not choose to not be real.  Sometimes it is to please other people or fear of what people would think.  Sometimes it is a choice to just hide the truth.   Jesus is the reason that I can be true to who I am.  He allows me to know and embrace exactly who I was designed to be.   And that is an incredible gift.  

Thank you Jesus for loving me and helping me to embrace my destiny and exactly who you have made me to be.  Holy Spirit, help all of us to step out of pretending and to walk in our true self.   Thank you for all that you are doing in us and through us.  Amen

Break in my routine.........

So this weekend is another break in my "routine"!  It is another scrapbooking weekend.  I was thinking this morning about how long I have been doing these get away times.  I finally had to check with Gwen and through a long discussion, decided that the first time I did one of these weekends was in May of 2009.  Ellie was just a wee baby and now she is 5.  That is a long time.  

Even though I have a scrapbook room at home, there is something about being together with friends and family and laughing and talking.  I know that I don't need this time away from my "life" nearly as much as these other gals.  They are all in the midst of childrearing and/or careers working long hours.  I am the "grandma" of the bunch and am so blessed to only be working around 35 hours a week.  None the less, I cherish these times.  Now, don't get me wrong, it is not easy to pack everything up, cart it to the car (and hope you can make it all fit), and then UNLOAD it and set it up.  Only to have to load it back in the car and then unpack it when you get home.  Today I was the first to arrive and set up.

I am enjoying the quiet room and the time to get these words on the page, since I know that I will not have time or energy to do so tonight.  And I was thinking about how wonderful it is that God planned for us all to have a day of rest.  We have just forgotten what that means.  Our weekends (or other days off if we have to work on the weekend) are so full of stuff to do, that we don't actually get any resting done.  The most important rest that we all need, is time to just be with Jesus.  For so many people in church work, this is the hardest kind of rest time to find.  Let's face it, all of the volunteers at church don't have a very restful day.  By the time that they are finished with their responsibilities, it is hard to squeeze out an hour or two for doing nothing at all.   And most of them have jobs and family things that need doing.  It is a good reminder for all of us to stop and evaluate our schedules.  Then we need to make sure and insert time on our calendars to just BE. 

 

I am so blessed.  I say this over and over.  One of the greatest wonders of doing this blog is how thankful and blessed that I feel as I share these words.  It is my hope and prayer that all who read this blog, will stop and think about their own stories.  Each and every one of us has moments of blessing and gratitude to be reflected on. 

 

The hardest part of blogging for me, is that I don't have the chance to hear your story, or hear of your blessings.  I would love to know what you feel about my words.  So I am asking for your feedback today.  How are you making space to just rest?  What blessings have you seen this week in your life?  Tell me about your joys and sorrows.  I would love to share with you. 

 

Jesus, thank you for this special time away and the blessing to rest.  Thank you for the energy and life that I receive from these wonderful gals this weekend.  Holy Spirit, bless our conversation and increase our creativity and productivity.  And please bring everyone here safely!   Jesus, thank you for all who take the time to read these words and consider the message behind the blog.  Encourage and strengthen them all.  Amen