Thankful for Ken - Part 3

This picture is from Ken's graduation from Elk Grove High School in June of 1971.  While this was certainly an accomplishment for him, hidden behind that smile was a very, very sad guy.  Let me explain with an important story about Ken's high school years.

Ken's family moved  to Elk Grove Village, IL in August of 1967.  Interestingly enough, my own parents moved our family to Elk Grove Village, IL in August of 1967.  Even more interesting is that Ken and I lived only about two blocks apart during our high school years.  Ken actually was in the class of 1971 and I was in the class of 1972.  We had many common friends, but never dated during high school.  We actually didn't begin dating until August of 1972, after reconnecting at a good friends house (thanks Marie Liewehr Berberich). We finally married in May of 1974 and the rest is history.  Back to today's story......

One of the first friends that Ken made in Elk Grove was Arnold Abraham, who Ken always called "Abe".  Abe lived just a few blocks from Ken and they had many interests in common.  Both of them were AV geeks and were in the AV club at school.  Even though we went to the same school, our classes were HUGE, and I never knew Abe.  

I lifted these two pictures out of the 1970 Elk Grove High School year book.  Ken had regret that there were no pictures of him with Abe.  Abe and Ken had many, many adventures during those years.  They would frequently go into Chicago and I can only imagine what these trips included!  Remember this was the 60's and early 70's!  They went to many concerts and movies and parties.  Sadly, Abe is not one of the many high school friends that show up on my Facebook page.  Sometime during the 1970-71 school year, both Ken and Abe got sick.  Ken ended up spending almost two months in the hospital recovering from a really bad case of pneumonia.  Around the same time, Abe was diagnosed with leukemia.  Ken would visit him in the hospital as often as possible.  One thing is for sure, Ken's senior year was not what he expected.

These three painted plastic statues were one of Ken's most prized possessions.  They were given to him by Abe after he painted them while in the hospital.  They represented a special friendship that had been taken away.  Sadly Abe died in late May of 1971, just a few weeks before Ken's graduation.  The process of his death, the wake and the funeral, had an impact on how Ken felt about life, death and funerals the rest of his life.  

In my last blog I mentioned that Ken tried to go into the Navy as soon as he graduated.  Certainly Abe's death was a major part of that decision.  When that didn't work out, he felt very adrift.  He had no interest in going to college, mostly because of his dyslexia. School was very difficult for him.  He took a job working in the camera department of the brand new Marshal Fields store at Woodfield Mall.  He actually worked the day that Woodfield officially opened. I find it interesting that Ken's adult life began with cameras and it ended with cameras being the main thing on his mind.  

I have had some questions about the end of life decisions that Ken made.  My kids will tell you that Ken never went to wakes or funerals if there was any way to avoid it.  I usually ended up representing us at these times.   The first time I realized that Ken struggled with death was at his Grandpa Bakers funeral in 1976.  I knew that we needed to go, but Ken really didn't want to go.   I am very thankful that we did make that trip to Florida and it opened the door for me to really hear Ken's heart about loss and death.  Ken's choices as his health declined, were exactly what I expected.  He hated the hospital and would do anything to stay at home.  He didn't want any wake/funeral.  He wanted to make a difference for others, so he donated his body.  I am so thankful that in spite of his adoption, his early health issues, his struggles in school, and the loss of this close friend, that Ken took a risk on our marriage.  Although he never went to college, he had several fulfilling jobs and ended his work career doing something his loved.  

After our grandson Lucas died, Ken talked often with me about seeing him again in heaven.  That was really the first time that I felt that Ken really believed in eternal life that we have through Jesus.  This year on Lucas' birthday, I left a plaque at his graveside.   

I am thankful for Ken today.  Thankful that I can think about Ken doing what he so loved - taking pictures.  And knowing that those pictures will include Abe and they will also include Lucas.  

Jesus, thank you for the assurance that we have that our physical death is not the end.  Thank you for your promises of heaven and being with you there.  Holy Spirit, help each of us to work through the issues from our past that have followed us into the present.  Keep our hearts open to your healing love.  Thank you Jesus for your plan and destiny for each of us.  Amen