Thinking about Ken today while visiting one of his favorite spots!

The spring weather was calling out to me today so I decided to visit the Morton Arboretum for the first time since Ken died.  They are still doing timed entry only, but I was able to get a time for today.  Although it is about 55 degrees, the arboretum was eerily empty.     I only saw about 10 people during the entire two hours that I was there.  I drove the entire place, stopping at some of Ken's favorite areas.  Last March we had gone to the arboretum the week before everything shut down.  Ken loved to take photos of the daffodils.  Last year they were not even up yet.  Today I saw many green shoots without any flowers.  I did find these Snowdrops as I was walking on some trails.  

It was very odd to NOT see the "Trolls".  I knew that they had been removed, but as I was driving around, I found myself looking for them as I approached the spots where they had been.  

Ken and I brought Gwen and the kids to see the five large troll statues in 2018.  We thought that they were to be removed in early 2019, but it was decided that they would stay up longer.  Ken was sad that he didn't get out "one last time" to photograph them.  But COVID shut down the arboretum while they were being removed.  

I stopped and decided to walk a trail on Frost Hill in the Pine woods.  This first picture is one of Ken's favorite spots to stop.  There are some incredible sunset views from this spot.  

I walked this trail and the smell of the pines was just heavenly.  It was so good to be out getting some fresh air.  I was totally alone up on the hill.  I never saw another person during my half hour walk.  

I saw many areas where they had done "controlled burns" to refresh the undergrowth.  There were also many downed trees and I did see (in the distance) some of the workers clearing away some branches.  

The sky was so blue and the woods were so amazing.  It was the perfect day to be out in nature.  Again, I just couldn't understand how I had the place all to myself.  It seemed like a perfect gift, especially for me.  

On my way out of the arboretum, I saw a couple of snow piles.  And in that brief moment, I realized that we are still in the season of winter.  It is Chicago after all, and snow happens often in late March and even April.  

    

 I am so thankful that I had this wonderful, taste of spring day to get out and breathe some fresh air.  Most of all, I am so thankful for the chance to visit Ken's favorite spots.  We have been members of the Arboretum for over five years.  Ken was part of the MAPS group (Morton Arboretum Photography Society) and he spent so much time here, doing what he loved most - taking pictures.  

Going through this grief thing is really interesting.  I am surrounded by all the things that made up our life together for 46 years.  Ken's photos are displayed on the walls.  His camera room is still (mostly) exactly as he left it.  While I have made a couple of changes, these are small things.  Ken loved the Spring season so much.  He hated winter and waited for any sign that spring was ahead.  I think that is why he loved daffodils and tulips so much.  I can picture him now, in that place of constant beauty, no snow, no rain, no tears.  He is happy and smiling and there is a camera around his neck.   I can only imagine all the amazing things he is capturing through that lens.  Today, being at the Arboretum, was almost like walking behind him, as I had done for so many years.  Watching as he "sized up" the perfect shot.  Sometimes knowing what he saw, often not really seeing it until I actually saw the finished photo. Yes, I felt very close to Ken today, and very close to Jesus.  

On my walk, I was thinking of an old song that we often sang at Praise Services at my church.  It was based on this verse....

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace, the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands"   Isaiah 55:12

My time in the Arboretum today was exactly like this verse.  I could almost hear the trees clapping their hands.. And I went out in joy, feeling great peace.

Jesus, thank you for speaking through creation.  Holy Spirit you bring comfort to us when we don't even realize that we need it.  Help us all to go outside and breathe in fresh air.  Keep our eyes trained on you and remind us to see joy in nature as spring comes.  Jesus help to quiet us so that we can be refreshed and filled just by being outdoors.  Thank you Jesus for loving us so well.  Amen