This summer has flown by and here it is, August and the kids are back in school. We are still being cautious about Covid since Grace and James are not vaccinated, but it is good to finally have some more normal things happening. Last week Susie returned to work and I will be watching Grace and James during the week. So I know there is still plenty of time for outdoor fun. Grace will be starting preschool 4's after Labor Day. She will be in school three mornings a week and is excited for school to start. She is a real social girl and has missed being with other kids. She is so much fun! Her imagination is wonderful. We had days of playing "Olympics" which included many races and other "unusual" events that she made up. She told me that Doug had won a gold medal in the Fishing competition for catching a BIG crappie. The fish was so big that it bit his finger so Doug killed it and ate it! Sounds about right, if you ask me! Grace is a card playing champ. She loves Uno and we usually play seven or eight hands at a time. She is learning strategy and often holds on to those wild cards to play and win the game. We play Zingo and CandyLand and several other board games. She still loves puzzles and we often do "hard" puzzles that have 50 or more pieces. Soon she will have outpaced this grandma in the game playing department!
James has been a really happy baby. He mostly sleeps, eats and needs diaper changes. I have just started giving him a bottle when Susie is gone and the biggest problem is that he is always smiling! The milk just runs out of his mouth with each smile! I can't wait to see his personality shine!
I am so thankful for these times with the grandchildren. Ken's death has made me more aware of the preciousness of time together. Lucas is not far from my mind every time I am with the kids. Our family has missing pieces and we are always aware of that. I think that I hold each of the grands a bit closer and hug a bit tighter, because of these loses. I know that our family is not alone. There are so many who have lost children. So many who have lost parents at an early age. So many young widows or widowers now faced with raising children on their own. For sure, death is a part of life. Somehow in our culture, we forget this. It is a subject that people don't want to talk about. And that is a sad fact. Lately people have been asking me "how are you?" sort of expecting the answer "fine." I can tell that many people are almost afraid to talk about Ken. I have been working on telling people the truth when they ask questions. The last couple of months have been harder than the previous months. I don't know why and I can't even explain HOW they have been harder. Knowing that almost a year has passed without Ken, seems unreal to me. Some days it seems like much longer, and some days much shorter. I don't know how people deal with death without Jesus in their life. Knowing that Jesus is with me, that He is the comfort and peace that I need is what sustains me every day. Praise and worship and prayer and scripture are what fills my heart. Holding all of my family close is the icing on the cake.
If your family, like mine, has some "pieces" missing, know that I am praying for you. If you know someone who has experienced a loss, reach out to them. Say that person's name. Share a good memory with them. Have an open heart to allow the Holy Spirit to work through you. You never know when a smile or a hug might make a difference to someone.
Jesus, thank you for your presence with us every day. Holy Spirit, bring your peace and comfort to those who are grieving. Remind us all to speak the names of those who have died. Give us courage and boldness to reach out and bring you to those around us. Thank you for summer heat, for refreshing water and the smiles and love of children. Amen
Lovely blog post, Lyn. Both Gracie and James are talking in more complete sentences and are getting bigger with every visit also. My mom was 47 when my dad died and only had 20 years together with him (with about 2-3 years apart due to WWII and Korea.) I believe five thoughts kept her afloat for the critical 3-5 year period of transition to full acceptance. 1.) She deeply believed in Jesus Christ- a child-like belief; 2.) she got very involved with church functions; 3.) she reached out and cared for others- her mother-in-law and a wonderful lady named Liz; 4.) there were still 4 of us home 15 years and younger- my oldest brother (19) was at college and out of the house except during the summer months; 5.) she stated that my dad was the only one for her and was irreplaceable- she never thought of finding another mate. She knew my dad was in a better place; she just missed him something awful, feeling his presence and his absence during the good and the bad days. She became a grandma (Yiaya) at 63. She gradually began losing her eyesight due to macular degeneration. Eventually she had to give up driving but we started meeting weekly for family dinner night. Even though she was technically blind, she could still cook up a delicious meal for all of us. Lyn, the grandkids and your deep and abiding love for Ken will be the anecdote for the transition days ahead. You're right, death is a part of life...so, whatever feelings come or get stirred up by a memory, song, or situation, just allow it to play out, laughs, tears, smiles, and all. Like Lucas, you loved him and will always remember both! Keep the stories coming. I got great pleasure reading today's blog. Steve
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