So much has changed in the last three years!

 Three years ago, our world changed.  We were locked down. Kept in our houses.  Fear was so great that at any time, our family could be hit with this "mystery virus".  Ken and I were mostly at home anyway, since he was not doing well physically.  The long stint in the ICU in January/February  2020 had left us shaken.  And  knowing that his health was compromised, we were thinking that our lives would never look the same.  And that was most certianly true.  

During one of my recent times watching Grace and Jimmy, I captured this photo of Jimmy "cooking" his play food!

He is quite the kiddo!  His vocabulary, at 22 months, is unbelievable and matched only by his climbing abilities.  He can scale a table faster than anything.  But on this day, I was especially thinking about all that has changed in three years.  It will always be sad to remember that Ken never got to know his little "namesake" (James Kenneth Rowley).  Jimmy is so much like Doug and I know Ken would have appreciated seeing Doug trying to "wrangle" Jimmy into his booster chair. Jimmy is one determined kid and if he doesn't want to do it, there is no getting it done.  These kids who were born or lived during the pandemic, are a different breed.   It is as if God has gifted them an added dose of stamina and vitality to survive and thrive.  It will be amazing to watch just what they accomplish in the future.  As hard as it was on the adults to get through this world changing event, it was even harder on the kids.

At first three years ago,  I was mostly worried for the kids.  They all had jobs and families and I tried to imagine how difficult this situation would be for them.  Doug and Susie had a preschooler and were trying to work from home, while keeping a three year old busy.  Gwen and Tim had a slightly better situation because they were already homeschooling the kids.  Tim was able to work from home and didn't have a long commute.  Gwen's job was another story.  Church workers were faced with an almost impossible situation.  Would church have to stop?  What exactly was going to happen.  Nobody really knew.  

That first year, 2020,  Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter passed in a cold, sterile fashion.  Reality hit us all, realizing that we were seperated from our families at a time when we were so used to being together.  There were no new spring dresses.  No Easter Egg hunts, No family dinner.  In my heart I was already grieving these times, since I just had an inner "knowing" that Ken's time was short.  No one knew just how long this was going to last.  

After Ken had several very challenging hospital visits and doctor appointments that I was not allowed to attend, I had sort of reached my limit.  Thankfully, the kids recognized this and stepped in.  Finally, in early May, we "celebrated" Easter with the kids.  

Gwen and Tim had managed to sell their home and buy a new one, in the midst of this pandemic.  It was truely a God thing!  I can't tell you how grateful I was to see those grandkids again!  

And here we are, three years later.  Ken has been gone for two and half of those three years.  The kids have grown and changed and of course, we have added Jimmy to our family.  These have been years of adjustments for me.  No longer married, but widowed.  No longer we but me.  Family times together are now cherished in a way that feels different than three years ago.  I just took those times for granted.  But now, each time I am with the kids, I feel the thankfulness and joy of being together.  I love to have the kids sit by me or run up to give me hugs.  I even appreciate the dogs joyful greeting when I get to their house.  Sitting across the table from friends just sharing and laughing together, is the sweetest thing.  Gathering together with my church family has a new meaning, after a time of just watching on a screen.  Being with my adult children brings me such joy and peace.  My life is truly blessed.  

Recently someone asked me how long I plan on seeing my grandkids every week.  At first, I couldn't quite understand the question!  Being with my kids and grandkids is a privilege not a burden.  Caring for Grace and Jimmy one day a week and spending a day with Anna, Zeke, Ellie and Lia fills my heart and my spirit in ways nothing else would.  My answer to that question was - "A very long time hopefully!' Looking ahead three years, I am sure there will be many changes.  But it is with great hope, faith and trust that I walk out into the future.  

I am learning so much from my grandchildren.  Each time I see them, I am amazed at the people they are becoming.  They have a confidence that is unlike any past generation.  They believe that they can change the world for the better and I believe that they will.  Some may see this as the darkest time in the history of the United States.  But I am encouraged by the courage and boldness that I see in the youth today.  They see the problems around us, but they are also seeing ways that they can solve some of those issues.  I am so proud of the Christ followers they are!

It has been three long years since that first "lock-down" of the pandemic.  Yes, some things have been changed forever.  But Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  Having Jesus in my life has been the key to seeing me through the changes.  Jesus gives me the courage to face whatever is ahead.  And Jesus is the peace that passes understanding when there seemingly is no peace around us.  I was thinking this week about this line from the 23rd Psalm -

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

These three years have felt like a valley - far from the mountain top.  And the shadow of death seemed to loom around us.  We heard daily reports about the number of deaths from Covid-19.  Fear, discouragment and doubt were in every home.  The smiles and laughter were hidden from view by the masks we had to wear.  But, see the good news in that passage!  We are walking THROUGH the valley.  We did not have to stay there forever.  It was truly a season.  We have walked through it and now are on the other side.  There is no better news than that!  

Jesus, thank you so much for sending the Holy Spirit who is with us and in us!  Thank you for the peace that fills us in times of trouble.  Keep our eyes focused on you, as we continue to walk forward.  Give us courage and boldness as we face the future.  Thank you for hugs and smiles and time together. Amen

Knowing your identity

 As usual, our family has been busy over the last few weeks.  I am always surprised when I look at a calendar and realize just how fast time seems to be slippling by.  Here it is, already almost the middle of March and almost spring.  However, a glance out my window this morning says Spring is far, far away after a nighttime snowfall.  It did feel much more "spring-like" a few weeks ago when our family got together for a weekend at Great Wolf Lodge, thanks to a generous Christmas gift from Doug and Susie.  If you have never been to an indoor waterpark resort, geared for children, you will not appreciate just how wonderful these places can be.  

The first picture, taken on our arrival to the park, did not include Tim. He was working and joined us a few hours later.  So I had to include the bottom picture as proof that he really was there!  Recently, I saw a post from an unhappy person, complaining that Great Wolf Lodge was overcrowded with kids!  EXACTLY!  Its wonderful to have a place where kids can just have fun.  Even Jimmy, not yet two years old, had an incredibly great time.  There were slides and pools just right for him.  We even had ajoining rooms so that we could relax and have dinner at our leisure.  It actually snowed the night we were there, which made the warm water and air temperature even better.  Fun was had by every member of the family.  

Before we knew it, it was Ellie's 14th birthday and Doug's 41st birthday.  This shared birthday is always memorable.  Ellie was born a few weeks before her due date and being on Doug's birthday was unexpected!  

I is always difficult to find exactly the right gift for a teenager.  Thankfully Ellie made an Amazon wish list, so this Grandma was successful at finding things.

This dress and purse brought a smie to Ellie's face.  The funny thing about this dress is that I had an almost identical dress, way back in 1969 or 1970!  It was even almost the same pattern.  It sure is funny how fashion comes and goes and then comes back.  I haven't gotten to celebrate Doug's birthday yet (coming later today), but his gift came off of an Amazon wish list also!  What did we do before Amazon?

Around Anna's birthday, Gwen mentioned that I had never made Anna a blanket!  In thinking back on this, I realized that I needed to correct that oversight!  So I let Anna pick out the yarn that she wanted for her special blanket.  

She asked for the blanket to have her name on it, so this is the result!  I have made "name" blankets for Grace and Jimmy and Anna wanted something similar!  This blanket turned out to have a very special connection to the prophetic word I had for Anna before she was born.  The colors, the decoration and her name make this exactly the right blanket for her today! That is a story for another time.

And then, last week, I snapped this photo of my "Grand-dogs" while I was at Gwen's house.

Chandler and Sunny are almost always as glad to see me as the kids are!  And I love seeing them.  They are surely part of our family.  Chandler is getting older now and is much less likely to stray very far from home.  Sunny, on the other hand, is young and new to the family.  Additionally, because of being rescued out of a really bad situation, her behavior is still unpredicable.  Gwen and Tim immediately bought a tracker tag for Sunny's collar so that she could be found quickly if she got away.  Chandler wears a name tag with information in case he ever ventured away.  These tags are evidence that Chandler and Sunny are part of our family - it is their identity. 

Today, as I was preparing to write this blog, Gwen sent me this photo on a text. Apparently, Tim discovered this in the bottom of a box of "stuff" in their garage.  Gwen had no idea it was even there.

If you squint really hard at the picture, you will see that this is the tag that Sheba, the dog Ken and I bought before Gwen was born, wore on her collar. 

She had no idea that I was going to be writing this blog and including informtion about Chandler and Sunny and their tags.  But it is a reminder that our identity is not lost, no matter how many years pass.  Sheba was part of my family and that was her identity.  Here is a bonus photo or Sheba and me taken in 1978, shortly after Ken and I got her.

Additionally, it is certainly evidence to me, that God is in the writing of this blog!  He knew that today - exactly - I would want that picture, of that tag.  Isn't it amazing to be a part of God's familly?

Knowing and celebrating our idenities is so important!  Every time my family is together, it represents an acknowledgment of our belonging.  Our birthdays, our names, our family - this is all one part of who we are.  Knowing your identity in Christ is even more important than all of those.  When we are following Jesus, our identity shapes how we live our life and what is important to us.  If we forget WHOSE we are, we can be confused about WHO we are.  And I was realized today, that it is because of knowing that my identity is in Jesus, that I was called to even be sharing these blogs.  I may not be a "professional" writer or have a degree in Literature, but Jesus has told me to write, so I write!  And that is part of my identity.  Celebrate your identity today.

Jesus, thank you for bringing me into your family.  Holy Spirit, remind us that we belong and we are not alone.  Give us courage and boldness to be and do the things that you put before us.  Help us see and follow your direction.  Give us peace when we step out into places that seem scary.  Give us assurance that you are with us.  Thank you for caring about the small things!  Amen