Reflections from the last couple of weeks...

I am working on my 2020 scrapbook right now.  It has been somewhat challenging for more than one reason.  I mean, we all know what 2020 was like - in general.  Covid, isolation, masks, and so much more.  But in our family, 2020 was also a year filled with hospital stays, illness, cancer diagnosis, and so much more.  This week marked three years since Ken's death. I came across this photo while printing for scrapbooking.  This day - July 17, 2020 - was the last time that Ken wanted to take photos.  As you can see, he was not able to stand so we had a chair with us.  I remember that day  actually happened because I knew just how depressed Ken was about not being able to take photos.  I drove to a not- to- distant park that had a (somewhat) clear horizon view so that Ken could snap some pictures of the sunset.  

The irony of this being a sunset photo is not lost on me.  It was certainly the sunset time of Ken's life.  He wasn't very happy that day.  He couldn't get the shot that he wanted.  Nothing was right about it and I could not do anything to help the situation.  But, I am so thankful that we made the trip that evening.  

It is true that none of us know when we might have that "sunset" moment.  For me the last month has been much harder this year than last year.  I don't know the reason for this, but I have come to think it might have something to do with my recent DNA discovery.  There has been some grief associated with that, for sure, and it seems to have increased my feelings around losing Ken.  Time is a strange thing.  Sometimes it feels very "new" that Ken is gone, but then other times it feels like a very long time ago.  Each new day holds new memories and new experiences and they do continue to build up.  Last week, I watched Jimmy zooming up and down the sidewalk on his "balance" bike.  Ken would have loved this so much!

Also, Jimmy has been asking to watch videos of motorcycle racing and I know that Ken would just be very happy sitting with Jimmy watching all things motorcycle.  These things bring a new kind of sadness and missing Ken that I wasn't expecting.  

This reflection has begun a sort of "new" season for me, which is very good timing with the onset of Autumn.   In this season I want to spend time looking ahead and planning for new things.  I am a list maker and so there will be lists involved in this.  There are many "undone" projects and plans that will find a home on this new list.  It is my prayer that there will also be many that are crossed off as they are completed!

In church, we are hearing a new sermon series titled "Different Life".  The overarching theme, as a follower of Jesus, our life is different!  The opening Bible Plan (on the Bible App) devotion said this..

If you are born from above you're different.  There's just no getting around it.  When the Spirit of God takes hold of someone, he changes them.  From top to bottom, inside and out.  Hear, soul and mind, you're just going to be different than you were before.  The Bible uses all kinds of language to describe this; Holy, remnant, chosen, sanctified, children of God, and more.  If you are born of God, there is something different about you.  And that's a good thing!

If you are interested in seeing more about this Different Life series, you can watch it on YouTube at Fellowship of Faith McHenry Il and find the Bible plan on the Bible App.  

The timing of this series certainly fits this "new" season for me.  I am so grateful to be shifting my focus while looking ahead, grounded in just how different my life is and most importantly WHY my life is different.  

 Jesus, thank you so much for knowing exactly what I need to hear!  Holy Spirit, thank you for being comfort during those times of grief and sadness.  Give us courage and boldness to reach out to our friends and family when we are feeling overwhelmed.  Thank you for leading and guiding us into new seasons and giving us help along the way.  Thank you for the change of seasons that remind us that life is ever changing.  Thank you for loving us.  Amen

Another birthday.... how is possible that I am 69 years old?

On Labor Day, my entire family came over to help me celebrate my 69th birthday.  It was actually the following Wednesday, but I was actually born on Labor Day so it appropriate!  Even though Micah (Lia's boyfriend) and Samuel (Ellie's boyfriend) couldn't join us, we are still a large group these days!  Doug and Susie brought Doug's "smoked" meat - pulled pork and chicken - two of my favorites.  Lia made a 7up cake, again one of my favorites.  The kids colored/wrote me such sweet cards.  I actually get teary seeing them sitting on the mantle.  One thing is sure, there is always fun when we are together.  I love that we always take a picture of me with the grandkids.  It is such an amazing way to watch them all grow.

It was a HOT day for September 4th, but the kids played in the park behind my back yard.  Lia was the resident bubble blower and all the kids chased bubbles.  Zeke and Jimmy played a bit of Frisbee. 

It wasn't long before the heat drove us all inside.  I might not have room at a table for all of us to sit down together, but we all manage to eat in the same room!  Some might be at the coffee table, sitting on chairs, or eating on the couch.  It still feels like a family dinner to me! You do what you have to do when you live in a small house.    I love to see the kids find their favorite ways to entertain themselves here at Grandma's house.  I have a couple of storage cubes with a few toys and art things.  Anna had brought her new favorite game card game (I think it is called Taco, Goat, Cheese, Pizza) which was enjoyed by several groups of people!

Jimmy did really well in spite of the many, many things around my house that are not totally "child proof".  He was fascinated by my stairs and wanted to go up and down. (The stairs are gated at their house).  He has also just had a growth spurt that allows him to reach the light switches, and there are plenty of new switches to discover at my house.  Either Gwen or Susie snapped this photo of Jimmy and I and you can tell he is saying "cheese"!

It actually got a bit cloudy and somewhat cooler in the afternoon, so we all took a walk to the local playground in my subdivision.  This playground was not here when Gwen and Doug were little, but all of the grandkids remember coming to this park.  

All of the kids had a great time.  Grace managed the monkey bars with ease.  Jimmy climbed and climbed and went on the slides over and over.  Anna, Grace and Zeke played "Wood Chips" which is a grade school game that this grandma just doesn't understand.  Lia tried to explain it to me and what I heard is sort of a version of Marco Polo except not in the swimming pool and also involves sort of a tag thing.  Anyway, the kids get it!  On the way home we walked to the "bridge" over the small creek that runs behind our subdivision.  On the way, I snapped this photo of Zeke and Jimmy.  I just love these special cousin memories!

On my actual birthday, I was at Doug and Susie's with Jimmy and Grace.  Doug was actually out of town for work, so Susie got dinner delivered!  She came home with cupcakes and we had a nice dinner and desert.  Grace always wants me to stay for dinner, so this was special treat!  It was a wonderful conclusion of my birthday celebrations. I didn't get any pictures that day, but it will still be a special memory for me.  

For the last year, I have been part of a newly formed ministry, Sunbeams Uganda.  If you click on the link, you can see all that has happening in a small, very rural village, Kijjude in Central Uganda.  When you are focusing on a people group that has so little resources, so little opportunities, so many needs it can be overwhelming.  The Sunbeams team in the USA is small, but dedicated to bringing the light of Jesus into this village.  Kelly, the founder of the ministry, along with Mark (who is Ugandan) had a dream to encourage, equip, and empower the people of this village and it all started with bringing fresh, clean water through the digging of a community bore hole.  In the last year Sunbeams has purchased a plot of land and is in the process of building a Christian primary school.  The children who are able to go to school (who have families that can afford the school fees) it is a four kilometer (about 2.5 miles) walk, through jungle to school! There is now a sewing school in operation and over 70 women have been given a chance to provide for their families through sewing.  Sunbeams has provided bibles and chairs for the local church, as well as provided Bible studies and seminars.  Doctors and dentists have come to the village and provided much needed services to families that would not have been able to travel to receive care.  This is all pretty miraculous, considering this has all happened in just over a year.  The Sunbeams Christian Primary School is still a work in progress.  There is much to be accomplished but the prayer is to be completed and open for classes to begin in January, 2024. (which is the normal beginning of the school year in Uganda).  There is a newly built  playground on the grounds of the school, something these kids did not have before.

  

The United States is truly the land of opportunity.  We take so much for granted here.  My grandkids have nice houses, clothes and shoes, available dentist and doctors, and the ability to make their dreams come to life.  I know that Jesus has a plan and destiny for each one of these precious people.  The hope and encouragement that this village needs is Jesus. Sunbeams can't succeed in this mission without the support of people like you.  Please take a moment and click on the website link above and see more about the very needed outreach for the hundreds of people who call Kijjude home. Please pray with us that the many (big) hopes and dreams we have, will be successful!  

 Jesus, thank you for children and playgrounds.  Holy Spirit, remind us that age doesn't matter at all in the Kingdom of heaven.  We are all children of God.  Give us courage and boldness to step out and share our faith.  Keep us mindful of the great needs of those near to us, in our own neighborhoods and cities and also those half way around the world.  Give us hearts and hands that are willing to share from the bounty you have given to us.  Thank you for health and family.  Amen

 

When a movie is more than you think......and sometimes it is okay when your internet goes out!

It is a real treat to get to do things with just one of the Grandkids.  This past week I got to have lunch with Anna and then take her to a movie.  All of the other kids have already seen the Barbie movie and most of Anna's closest friends had also seen it.  So Anna was feeling a bit left out.  Gwen gave the go ahead (even though Anna is a bit young for this movie) since Gwen has seen it.  Even after telling Anna that she would most likely not understand all that was going on in the movie, she still wanted to see it. There was nothing "bad" about it, it was just a more adult themed movie.  We went at a very slow time (middle of the afternoon) and we were literally the only people in the theater.  It was a private showing! As expected, Anna was more excited about actually being at the theater, having the snacks she had stashed in her purse and the bucket of popcorn I purchased, than the actual movie.  She admitted that she really "didn't get it" and I tried to help her understand some parts of the movie.  What I don't understand is why a movie about a kids toy is made!  Clearly they knew their market and this movie is very popular with the 20-45 year olds.  As is always the case, Jesus can sure bring some interesting spiritual things to the surface through these ordinary movies.  Anna and I had some great conversations about going along with the crowd (peer pressure), knowing God's plans and purposes for each of us (letting other people try to sway your plans), understanding your unique gifts (trying to be like everyone else).  I am glad that I saw this movie.  Sometimes you just can't believe what sources tell you about a movie until you see for yourself what it is all about.  This time with Anna was special and memorable!

This week, while at Doug and Susie's, their internet went out.  Jimmy and I had already spent several hours outside while Grace was at school.  I knew that Grace would be tired when we picked her up at the bus stop after school, and she would enjoy time to relax and unwind.  The standard afterschool routine is a bit of TV.  But the sudden message..... "Check your internet connection - no internet" flashed on the screen, that routine was out window.  So Grace and Jimmy happily played in the back yard until Susie got home.  It was good to talk with Grace about her day and school and actually get her to share a few things.   As we were talking about the day, Grace excitedly screamed, "THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!"  Sure enough, off in the distance, was the faint music of that "kid's best friend" colorful, noisy vehicle. Susie sent Grace flying out the front door to stop the truck and I corralled Jimmy.  Money in hand, with the truck stopped in front of their house, the magical treats were obtained! 

Let's face it, Ice cream is good for the soul.  It is especially good when you are facing a day with no internet (which means no TV in some households).  What Grace was much more upset about, was no internet meant that she could not show off her new Chromebook from school.  She was so excited to show me all the programs she used.   But alas, that will have to wait for another week, after the internet is fixed.  So a special treat of an (overpriced) ice cream bar, that just tastes so much better when it comes off of the music playing truck, covers up the loss of the internet!  If we had been inside, watching television, we would never have heard the music of the ice cream truck and the kids would have missed out on the special treat.  It was only the second time Grace had ever gotten a treat off the truck, and she was thrilled!  It was totally new to Jimmy.  So, yes, sometimes it is okay when the internet goes out!  

I cherish these small, special times with each of the grandchildren.  I am so blessed!  I do not take these times for granted.  There are so many of my friends who are separated from their children and grandchildren by long distances or sadly, conflicts or other circumstances.  I try to remember each day, to find the message from Jesus I need for that day.  This is especially true in these everyday times with the kids. I know that the Barbie Movie was not supposed to carry any spiritual message, yet in the days after seeing it, there were clear messages to me in my daily devotions.  I loved how the Lord spoke to me, about the importance of an occasional special treat when things are not going well.  Since that day, I have been  remembering all the times that something as small and/or trivial as that ice cream bar has happened when I most needed it (and least expected it).  Isn't God just amazing?  

The best advise I ever received about parenting came from my sister Karen.  When Gwen was just a baby, she told me "Don't sweat the small stuff - and most things are small!"  This was great advice that carried me through all my years raising my kids.  I think good grandparenting advice would be "Don't miss out on those small things - they are really big memories in the making."  Maybe that advice is not just for parents and grandparents, but everyone!  Go to that movie that you have heard about.  Take time to go to lunch with that special person.  Play outside, even when you have already spent time outside.  When facing a challenge and/or a problem, look for the small joys.  Listen for the music and most importantly, share that ice cream treat!  

Jesus, thank you for a very special week of small but wonderful memories.  Holy Spirit, remind us all that most stuff is just small stuff. When things are hard, give us courage to stop and wait for answers.  Thank you for speaking to us through movies, through the birds and the trees and the sunshine.  Help us to slow down and see all of the small things that are becoming big memories.  Thank you for loving us so much!  Amen