Family Easter - there is nothing better!

Even though Easter was early this year, we had pretty good weather.  It wasn't exactly "spring" but at least there wasn't any snow!  I had a great start to my Easter season with a powerful Palm Sunday Pilgrimage at my church.  Anyone who is able, walks to church from their home or a designated meeting spot.  I walked to church with all the Rock kids and their families with some Boulder youth.  It was about a 2.5 mile walk which helps us remember that Jesus and his disciples walked toward Jerusalem before his Palm Sunday entrance on the donkey.  Maundy Thursday service was a special service with families gathered around tables, sharing communion together.  For the last three years, one of my grandchildren has been taking "First Communion" on this night.  Even though we didn't have a "first" this year, it was wonderful to all commune together.   Our Easter church service was extra special this year.  In order to have just one service, my church rented out a large concert venue in our town and 700 people came to that service!  It was a wonderful service for sure!  He is Risen!  He is risen indeed!

We all gathered at Gwen and Tim's and always take our pictures BEFORE the egg hunt!  This way the kids cooperate!  

The Cousins! (All my grandchildren)

Casual group shot!

 Gwen's family

Doug's family

Then the kids got ready for the egg hunt.  It is certainly a lot of fun at Gwen and Tim's since there are so many spots to hide eggs!  They have a really big yard with really difficult hiding spots! 

After all the eggs were found, and some candy eaten, we went inside for a wonderful dinner.  It is pretty amazing to see us all cram around the table.  We are certainly getting to the point that we will have to add another table soon!  Tim prepared a ham and a family favorite - "Cheesy Potatoes".  He also made homemade rolls, which were delicious.  

These family times are so important to me.   Seeing the family together like this brings me back to when my kids were little.   Even though we live pretty close to each other, with everyone's busy schedules it is really difficult to make these gatherings work.  I am so thankful that my kids understand how important this is to me and continue to make it work.   I was thinking about a couple of Easter pictures I have from when Gwen and Doug were little....

This was Easter of 1982 -  Doug was just home from the hospital and Gwen was not yet three years old.  He was actually five weeks old, but had spent some time in the NICU.  Gwen had made that little Easter Basket in preschool for Doug and we put a couple of toys in it for him.  She was so excited to give it to him.  That sleeper he has on was actually a preemie size.  He was pretty little!  

This picture is from Easter of 1985 when Doug was three and Gwen was soon to be six.  I am struck by how much Jimmy looks like his Dad!  There is seriously nothing better than looking through old holiday photos and seeing how much your grandkids look like their parents!  

I am thinking about my own Easter experiences and sadly, I have no photo's from them!  For some reason my family did not take any Easter photos during my growing up years.  I do have a couple of Ken when he was little that are worth sharing.....

This was Easter of 1954 when Ken was not quite two with his sister Susan.  I am very glad that I have a few pictures of these early years! 

Well, there you have it!  Easter from 1954 to 2024!  Seventy years of Easters.  It looks quite a bit similar!  Pictures taken outside.  You can almost see the wind in that picture of Ken.  It's springtime but doesn't always look very warm.  There are baskets and candy.   I am extremely thankful for that empty tomb that is the reason we celebrate Easter.  Everything that takes place, leading up to the actual day, just brings the message home.  Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, the Last Supper meal with his friends, his trial, conviction and death on a cross, his three days in the tomb and his resurrection - are events that have shaped history for 2000 years.  Easter is a time to shout, "He is risen, He is risen Indeed!" 

Jesus thank you for your sacrifice on the cross and the forgiveness of our sins.  Holy Spirit, remind us all that these are not just stories we read, but actual events in history.  Give us courage and boldness to tell others about this good news that is for ALL people.  Jesus, strength families and draw them together in your love.  Give us wisdom and grace as we share with others your love!  Amen  

What a spectacular week - Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter!

Everyone knew that 2022 was going to be different than the last couple of years.  We finally had some sense that the pandemic might really end.  It also looked like it might be spring on the horizon (or so we thought).  For me the entire week, from Palm Sunday to Easter, was an unexpected, wonderful, amazing time.  Easter ended with about an inch of snow overnight.  So we might have to wait a bit for that springtime.  These sweet faces bring me so much joy.  It was truly a season to remember.  

This picture reminds me of some of the very high points of the week for me.  Beginning on Palm Sunday.  The top left picture might not look like a "typical" Palm Sunday celebration. You can't see any palm branches waving.  But what it IS, is so much more.  My church has always had a "Palm Sunday Pilgrimage".  The entire congregation is encouraged to walk to church on that Sunday.  This helps to appreciate exactly what Jesus and his followers were experiencing on that first Palm Sunday.  Jerusalem was seeing thousands (maybe millions) of people flood in for the upcoming festival.  It was a big party.  And that is exactly what we had that day at church.  After walking in with over 50 children, youth and adults,  the service was a true celebration.  The most meaningful Palm Sunday I have ever had. 

The top right picture is another "unusual" service.  In past years with Lia and Zeke's first Communion, I have blogged about this Maundy Thursday service that is like no other.  This year was Ellie's first Communion.  Every family gathers at their own table, and during the Communion time, the oldest at each table serves everyone.  So, this year, I got to give Ellie her first Communion.  A truly amazing and awe inspiring time.  

The bottom left picture was Good Friday.  Most people would recognize this service as what you would expect.  The story of Jesus' last week was retold and as the story progressed, candles were extinguished until only the Christ Candle was left burning.  As the service concluded, Anna sang "This Little Light of Mine" as she carried that candle out of the church.  We were left sitting in the darkness of the hour.  I have never felt the finality of that darkness more than that night.  But more importantly, as we all know, Friday might be dark, but Sunday is on the way!  The Easter Celebration began with Anna once again singing "This Little Light of Mine" as she brought the Christ Candle back into the Sanctuary.  And a wonderful celebration it was!  He is risen!  He is risen indeed!

The bottom left is, of course, my family.  Being together and being entirely us.  We had a wonderful day doing all of the usual Easter stuff.  

The kids had their traditional egg hunt but this year Lia hid the eggs for the younger kids.  After she was done, only her eggs remained (each of the kids gets a special color egg making it easy for them to find their own eggs).  Tim was busy cooking dinner, so I volunteered to hide the eggs for Lia.  When the egg hunt was done, Lia could not find 4 of her eggs.  And this grandma had no idea where I had hidden them!  I took special notice of the places I thought she would never look, and she easily found those eggs.  But the elusive four eggs were nowhere to be found.  Gwen finally decided that squirrels must have taken them!  Which, given their property, might actually be possible!  Maybe sometime over the next few months, those eggs might show up?  One thing is certain, Grandma will not be hiding eggs again!

On the drive home I was reflecting on the amazing week.  It actually took my breath away.  There were so many "God moments" and breath taking times that it was hard to take it all in.  I experienced this season in new ways that I am still taking time to digest.  It is  good to know that I am not too old to grow and learn.  The entire way home, I found myself singing, "This Little Light of Mine" and thinking about all of the verses of that song...

This little light of mine!  I'm going to let it shine.  All around the neighborhood, I'm going to let it shine. Hide it under a bushel -NO!  I'm going to let it shine. Don't let Satan blow it out! I'm going to let it shine,  Let it shine till Jesus comes! I'm going to let it shine.

That is is good way to begin this new season.  Letting my light shine.  What a great reminder for all of us.  Let us shine more and argue less.  Let us shine more and worry less.  Let us shine more and take sides less.  Let us shine more!

Jesus, thank you for continuing to challenge me and encourage me to grow and learn.  Holy Spirit help us all to live in the joy and wonder of Easter as we move ahead.  Remind us that Sunday is coming when we are stuck in the darkness of Friday.  Give us courage to shine when we are faced with tough situations.  Give us boldness to shine in the strongest opposition.  Jesus thank you for you love!  Amen

He is Risen! Wonderful Easter celebration!

What a glorious and wonderful Easter celebration my family had this year.  We were all very aware that we completely missed Easter 2020.  I found myself trying to remember what we had done for Easter last year, what the kids had worn on that day, where we had been.  And then, the realization hit - thanks to COVID we did not have any family time last year.  Quite frankly, due to Ken's illness beginning in January of 2020, most of last year is a bit of a blur.  Then you add COVID quarantine on top of that blur and it is possible to kind of lose 2020.  We certainly missed Ken during our time together this year.  The wonderful weather, amazing church service, and fun time with the kids made this a memorable time.  We will not forget Easter of 2021.  

The weather was just perfect.  It was sunny and warm, exactly like you would want an Easter to be.  We have had our fair share of very cold and even snowy ones.  This day was perfect for being outside and running around looking for those Easter eggs.  

All of us, even the adults had a great time walking around the yard, during the egg hunt.  This year the kids each had different eggs, so it was much easier to help them.  Tim did a great job making it extra hard for the older kids to find their eggs and it actually took them a fair amount of time to find them.  

Just being together was something to celebrate.  We are so thankful that we (the adults) have all managed to get our Covid vaccines before the arrival of Baby Boy Rowley (expected in late May).  And knowing that we are all safer now, sure makes our times together less stressful.  I am extremely thankful to NOT have to decide if it is worth the risk to go to the store for food.  I used a lot of food delivery and contactless pickup in the previous months.  Knowing that I am more protected is really a gift.  

The Easter morning church service was exactly what I needed.  I have been going to church via "live stream" for most of the past year. I am so thankful that this option was there.  It has allowed me to continue to worship, even though we were stuck at home.   Actually being in the church, surrounded by my family, and the bigger "church family", pouring out praise and worship to the Risen King,;;;;;;; well it filled my soul and my spirit.  It was an awe-inspiring service.  I encourage you all to watch it here - Fellowship of Faith Easter Service   I really feel like I have turned a corner.  I know that the last six months have been a time of adjustment to being on my own.  And, while I know that I will face continued times of grief and uncertainty, the path ahead seems much clearer now.  Certainly the spring weather, the increased hours of sunshine, the decrease in the fears and worry over Covid is a part of this.  But I am convinced that working through a Bible Study on "The Quest", has helped me break out of the standstill position I was in. That Bible study plus this Easter worship proved to be the catalyst for change for me.   I love feeling expectant for the year ahead.  I am not sure what it will look like for me, but I am convinced that I am moving forward and it is so good.  

We all need more good news.  Overall, this past year has been HARD!  The news was never good.  I am working to start and end everyone of my days finding the good news of that day.  All you have to do is look for it!  Good things are happening out there.  I plan to use the next few blogs, to fill the airspace out there with positive, helpful, wonderful things.  I would love to hear from all of you.  Help me fill the world with hope and positivity.  Let's all bring more sunlight, more good news to others.  

Jesus, thank you for being the Risen, Reigning King of Kings!  Thank you for loving us so much that you suffered and died for us.  Holy Spirit give us courage to see beyond the darkness and to find the light.  Thank you for filling our hearts with your love.  Help us continue to look for the "Good News".  Jesus, you are that good news!  Amen

Knowing what is really important during this pandemic

I got up this morning, took a shower and got dressed - in pajamas - for another day, at home.  It is April 1st.  I had no idea I would be STILL doing this routine in the month of April.  And there is now a pretty good chance that it could be just like this on May 1st also.  As usual, the coffee pot was calling me.  I keep a few Kcups close to the pot, but have my big box stashed in the cupboard.  I took out the last Kcup and went to the cupboard to refill by the pot.  My heart sank as I opened the door to the secret stash of goodness, when I realized IT WAS EMPTY!  I am now totally out of coffee.  While there are many other much worse problems in the world right now.... I AM OUT OF COFFEE!   Any other year, I would just hop in the car and run out to the store for all of the items that we are running low on.  But not this year.  Not with Covid-19.  Not with the shelter in place order. 

This has been a wild few weeks for most everyone.  Kids home from school, parents not working, trying to not lose our minds having to stay inside. Fear and worry.  Anxiety.  Concerns for finances.  All for an unseen tiny virus.   For Ken and I, well we have sort have been on this lock down since January 1st!  And, quite frankly, Ken is still dealing with health issues.  Those came to a head this week. 

Both Ken and I had "health emergencies" in the last week.  Ken had been losing energy and strength over the last few weeks.  I became concerned and we had a telephone visit with his doctors.  We decided that it was necessary that we go to the outpatient lab so Ken could have blood work done.We had been avoiding anything medical at all costs!  So, we ventured out for that, trying to stay away from everyone.  He had his blood taken, and then we waited to hear back from the doctor.  Just to make things interesting, out of the blue I got a serious nose bleed.  Think the worst bleed you could imagine.  After over an hour trying to control it, Ken called 911.  The paramedics came and thankfully, we got the bleed stopped after about an hour.  I seemed to be fine for a couple of days when I had another bleed that I could not stop.  So I decided that I had to go the ER.  Not what I wanted to do.  So Ken drove me to the ER and he stayed in the car.  They were able to stop the bleeding and determined that I had a serious sinus infection.  They applied medication high in my sinuses, packed my nose and gave me strong antibiotics.  Needless to say, Ken and I did not need this!  Then the very scary results of Ken's blood work came in and he needed to be admitted to the hospital for blood transfusions.  Because of the Covid-19, I was not allowed to see him during his stay.  It was a tense few days.  Ken got the blood he needed as well as numerous tests to rule out anything other than the liver infection that we know he has, as the cause of his low blood levels.  

As I was waiting for the call saying Ken was released from the hospital, I saw this robin right outside of our door.  I know that the bird saw me, but he/she was not the least concerned.  There must have been some tasty bugs or worm under those dry leaves, because that bird dug and dug for several minutes.  Robins are a sure sign that springtime is here and I surely needed that sign yesterday.  It has been a long, trying winter - not just for the Rowley household but for everyone.  

Then, as we were walking in the door, I noticed that our flowering crab apple tree has started to bud.  I was stopped in my tracks, looking at those little bursts of new life.  We all need a burst of new life.  

This pandemic thing is not over yet.  As a matter of fact, I am not so sure we are 1/2 through it.  But the most amazing thing is happening.  Spring has come and more than that, Jesus has risen!  

It will be sure be a Holy Week and Easter that we can not forget.  We will not be together with family and friends on Palm Sunday to wave branches and shout Hosanna!  We will not be gathering together around the table to celebrate the Last Supper.  Our Good Friday celebrations will be solo remembering of Jesus' sacrifice for us.  And our Easter will not include shouting together, "He is Risen" and "He is Risen Indeed"!    I was talking with Lia today about our family celebration that would not be happening on April 12.  It will happen, just on some date in the future.  I reminded Lia that Easter has not changed.  Jesus is alive and we will still be celebrating that on the 12th.  But we are much more in a position like the disciples on that first Easter.  They were locked in their rooms, fearing being called out as friends of Jesus.  That is until Mary arrived with the amazing news that Jesus had risen!  Then they all ran out to see for themselves.  

I am convinced that Jesus is using this time to prepare us.  He wants us to be ready to run out and tell the world that He has risen!  I am imagining what it will look like when all of these "shelter in place" orders are lifted.  I know that stores, the restaurants, the parks and the playgrounds will be filled with people.  It will certainly be a joy-filled time.  Families will be together and there will be hugs and kisses and so much food. Every crisis seems to bring out the best in people, and this pandemic is no different.  Neighbors are sharing food, strangers are helping each other.  So much good is happening amidst the danger. We need to hang on to this sharing and caring when this crisis ends. 

 We will need to be intentional, to remind ourselves that sharing is caring.  To think about our neighbors and not lose all that we have gained during this time.  It will take effort, but I know that we can accomplish this.  Beyond that, my prayer is that we not miss the chance to run out and share the Good News with the world that Jesus is the answer. Jesus is bigger and more powerful than the Corona virus.  He is the Savior.  He is the all in all.  This is the foundation of everything and the most important focus during this pandemic.  

So I will concentrate on keeping my focus on Jesus while "social distancing" and "sheltering in place".  I will remember that my neighbors are also suffering during this time and find ways to help.  And I will worship and praise and pray, remembering that although I may be alone in my home, I am joining a great cloud of witnesses.  I will celebrate, Jesus is risen!  He is risen indeed!

Jesus, thank you for loving us so much that you came and rescued us.  You are our comfort when we are scared.  You are the peace that still the storms around us.  Holy Spirit, grow us all during this time.  Bring us to new levels of your love.  Give us wisdom to stay safe and courage and boldness when we are released.  Thank you for springtime.  For all the signs of new life.  Amen

Easter followup....is spring finally here?

Just gotta love this picture of Ken and I with all of our wonderful grandchildren on Easter.  There is just something about these special times that makes my heart so happy!  I love that I can put the yearly Easter pictures side by side and watch the kids grow up.  The girls dresses had butterfly's - a perfect Easter symbol of resurrection.  We had a wonderful day together.  It was a sunny and warm day, perfect for an outdoor egg hunt.  A great dinner was followed up with a trip to the local playground.  Susie snapped this "selfie" of our entire group!

I love that Gracie and Ellie are wearing bunny ears headband from their Easter baskets and Zeke has on his sunglasses from his basket and so does Lia!. So much fun and so many wonderful memories to capture and hold on to. 

Taking the time to capture these moments is just what my current Bible Study is encouraging me to do!  The problem for me is so many memories and so little time to actually capture them in writing!
In just a couple of weeks since Easter we have had two snowstorm/ winter storm warnings.  What?? Doesn't it look like spring in these pictures?  Yep, but if you live in Chicago, the weather can turn on a dime.  And this year, it did.  Add to the snow, we have had days and days of rain that have led to major flooding. The temperatures have been mostly in the 40's.  None of this has helped it feel much like spring.  I have been telling Ken that I am going to put away my winter snow boots.  But he has cautioned me against doing so. Yesterday I finally decided to take a chance and put them in the back of the closet.  Hopefully, spring is finally here and there will be no more snow for us.  Because Spring has seemed so far off, I am capturing every little moment!  This week the rain finally ended and our tree began to bloom.

Our yard is filled with the heavenly aroma of apple blossoms.  Yesterday the tree was covered with bees.  There had to be hundreds on our tree.  I stood there for a moment and just appreciated nature and the provision that God had so artfully designed.  I could almost taste some of that honey!  Those bees are endangered and so needed to pollinate our food supply.  Yes, this was a little moment that I captured.

Another special moment in these last few days.  A trip to the Chicago Botanic Garden and so many wonderful blooms everywhere.  I especially loved this cascade of purple blooms (I failed to get the name).  They just look so happy to me - so hopeful.  Sitting in the garden, surrounded by the colorful flowers all around me, hearing the birds chirping, and the frogs singing their songs, it was possible to think that winter has past and the springtime has come.  Even as I typed those words, I was singing Dance with Me by Paul Wilbur.  You can hear those words around 2:15 in that song.  I love that older worship song.  It is a great reminder for us to take time to "dance" with Jesus and to reflect on the the hope and expectation we can all have when we realize the cold darkness we once lived in, those times of despair and heartache can be eased when we spend time getting close to Jesus.  I don't think it is an accident that Easter is a springtime celebration.  The resurrection of Jesus is the ultimate springtime event.  He put an end to our winter and brought us into His glorious springtime of new life.    I am so thankful to be recording these lovely moments right now so that I do not forget them!  Happy Spring!

Jesus, thank you for trees and flowers and buzzing bees and family fun moments. Holy Spirit, remind us all to keep track of the small things that bring us hope and love and faith.  Thank you Jesus, that you will say yes when I stop and ask for a dance.  Thank you Jesus for your love.  Amen

Easter fun!

Today was  sort of a continuation of yesterday's fun and family for me.  Gwen had the day off of work, so we "celebrated" and took the kids to the mall for some summer shoe shopping and then to their favorite "big park".  This park excursion also included a "picnic" lunch so it was a big hit all around.  This truly is a BIG park with 6 large play areas, a large sand/water play area, stuff for the younger kids, a BIG climbing rope structure and more!  I have been to this park with the kids since Lia was a baby since it was the closest large park to their old house.  Because they now live pretty far away from this park, it is a real treat for the kids to revisit this wonderland of park equipment.  It was another incredibly beautiful day (yesterday was fantastic) so it was a treat to be outside and enjoying the springtime.

Yesterday was one of those days that you just don't want to see come to an end.  The time just sped by and was filled with laughter, fun and food.  All of the kids had a blast....well, I suppose that is a bit of a stretch for Grace....but she ate, slept and smiled through the day!  Our day started with all 11 of us together at Gwen and Tim's church.  We actually took up two rows!  Let me tell you there is nothing better for this Grandma than to look around at all those sweet faces celebrating that Jesus is alive!  We never heard a peep out of Grace during the entire service!  Church was followed by lots of good food.  How wonderful is the aroma of ham baking in the oven and we were greeted with that lovely smell arriving at Gwen's house. After our annual outside picture taking event (these pictures were shared yesterday on Facebook!) the kids had a wonderful time exploring their Easter baskets.  Zeke was thrilled with a small "pocket volcano" that I included in his basket.  (In case you are wondering, this small plastic volcano is filled with baking soda and vinegar and placed in a glass of water, creates a wonderful volcano - perfect for a 5 year old boy!  It can also be used in the bath tub!)  

Grace had a couple of wardrobe changes during the day, including putting on this "my first Easter" bib, just for me!  After the rousing Easter egg hunt, we all walked to the park.  To end the day, we took a family picture and it was a surprising success - even though this was the end of a long, long day.

Every family picture we take has a missing piece.  I can't help but look at this picture and know that Lucas is missing from it.  But while Lucas is missing from this picture, he is always in our hearts.

I love that Susie and Doug included their special Lucas bear in this Easter family photo.  And Susie is also holding Grace's sweet "Rainbow Bunny"!  Grace is our precious rainbow baby.  She is a reminder of hope and love after the storm of grief and loss when Lucas died.  

I can't think of a better day and a better way to remember Lucas than Easter.  Because of Easter, we know that we will see Lucas again one day.  Because of Jesus, our family has been able to go on - day after day, in the last two plus years.  It is the message of Easter - He is risen! - that fills us with joy. 

I just love that Easter this year, happened to fall right in the middle of my weeks of loss.  Not only was I thinking about Lucas, but I was also thinking about my mom, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law and sister.  I needed the reminder that Jesus has destroyed the power of the grave!  

Yes, this has reminded me of yet another song......Forever by Kari Jobe.  I don't know if you are all sick of me sharing songs, but so often Jesus speaks to me in music.  And this song contains this all important message!  

Now death where is your sting? Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated!

My prayer today is that this message of Easter will touch your heart and your spirit.  Because of Jesus there is joy and hope and love.  There is family and fun and food and playtime.  And we can sing Hallelujah!

Jesus, thank you for wonderful sunshine and bright blue skies.  Thank you for the sweetness of candy that brings smiles to faces of little children and adults!  Holy Spirit, help us all to remember, even in the seasons of grief and loss, that the sting of death has been defeated by Jesus!  Thank you for your sacrifice for us, Jesus.  Amen

Missing my mom......

My mom died six years ago today.  I never have to stop and figure out how many years it has been, since Zeke was born just a month after Mom died - actually on her birthday.  And since Zeke will soon be six years old - well, it must have been six years.  I was so blessed to have my mom for a long, long time.  She was almost 96 years old.  But I can tell you, it really doesn't matter HOW long - it is never long enough.   These last six years have had so many moments when I would have loved to talk to her.  To get her opinion.  Or to just laugh with her.  Our moms hold a special, special place in our hearts that is not easily filled by anyone else.  I actually took a picture of this photo which is in a scrapbook that I made for my mom.  This very "impromptu" picture was taken by my dad, as my mom and I were working on a holiday dinner in December of 1971.  My mom never liked our kitchen in this house.  It did not have much counter space and we were always trying to work in a very cramped little space.  In thinking back to that lack of working room, it may be why I am so comfortable in my own very small kitchen that doesn't have much counter space! I got used to it when working with my mom!   I love this very genuine smile on both our faces.  

I was searching through our scanned photos for a picture of me with my kids when they were teenagers.  I settled on this picture which was taken on Easter in 1999,  An interesting fact I have discovered -  I am not in very many pictures.  That is because I was usually the one TAKING the pictures at the events!  So it is hard to find pictures that include me with the kids.  Looking back at that picture of my mom and I, I realized just how important it is to keep taking pictures with our kids! I am so thankful that I have that picture of Mom and I and I am grateful to have this photo with both Gwen and Doug!  

Today at my small group, I mentioned that these weeks in April are a bit difficult for me.  During these weeks, my mother, father, sister, mother-in-law, and father-in-law all died.  And even when I KNOW that these dates are just days on a calendar, I still feel that melancholy heaviness trying to get me down during this time.  I am so thankful for the prayers of my friends today, that lifted that heaviness off of my heart.   I was thinking of just how fitting it is that Easter falls during these weeks this year.   It is a time when it is easy to fall into that sad/mourning time as we remember the events of Maundy Thursday and Good Friday.  I have always tried to imagine just how distraught the disciples must have been on that Saturday.  When their friend was gone and they could not begin to come up with a plan to go forward.  They had believed their teacher, but it was dark and cold and empty with his death.  But then Sunday morning came!!!  What an amazing, wondrous time that was. For us, even with the heaviness of Holy Week - we know that Sunday is on the way!  Jesus has risen! He is alive!

The best part of this is the reminder for me that Mom is in that amazing place right now, praising Jesus.   And she is with her mom - something that she longed for her entire life.  (Her mom died when she was only two years old)  And the happy news is that one day, I will see her again.  And that makes this day of missing her so much easier.    I know that I have blogged before about the song "In Christ Alone".   My mom loved this song after she heard it.  She said it told the whole story.  So once again, here is In Christ Alone in honor of my mom.  And it does really tell the entire story of Jesus.  

I just love this last stanza of this song. there is a message there for all of us. 

No guilt in life, no fear in death - this is the power of Christ in me.

From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ, I'll Stand!

Jesus, thank you for powerful songs that tell us your story and help us share that story with others.  Thank you for the comfort you bring to all of us who are missing loved ones who have died.  Give us all the reminder of the hope we have in you, Jesus.  Amen

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Well I am tucked in all snug as a bug in a rug in my nice warm house.  And, yes, it is snowing outside.  Again.  We are supposed to have a "major" snowstorm over the next 30 hours and expect 12" of snow.  Sigh.  This is our second rather large snow of this season.  Quite frankly, we have been somewhat spoiled over the last year.  We had a pretty much snow-less winter last season.  And then this fall has been really warm.  As a matter of fact our grass was still green and growing - LAST WEEK!  But here it is December 10th and we are having our second big snowstorm.  As I said in my last blog, you need to think like a kid and celebrate the snow.  Then you can have joy in the storm.

I have to admit that the snow does help it feel a bit more like Christmas.  I spent most of the day today making candy and treats for Ken to take into his workplace.  My goal for tomorrow is more cookie baking.  A snow day is a really good time to crank up the over and pull out the baking supplies.  I'm not sure what things will be like tomorrow morning, but when you plan to stay in all day, it really doesn't matter!

I was thinking about this sweet picture of Gwen that was taken the first time she ever "played" in the snow.

She was 18 months old at the time and her first winter was a bit like our last years winter.  There wasn't any snow.  So when it snowed in November of her second year, we had to let her experience a bit of snow.  You might notice, however, that she is wearing "Rain boots"!  We had not thought to buy her any winter boots.  I remember thinking how silly it was that I had not considered that she might need winter boots.  Clearly, I was a first time mom!  But she did have a nice warm coat and mittens.  You can also see that she is wearing a dress! To play in the snow.  This one is totally Gwen's fault!  As soon as she could make her wishes known (which was pretty early), that girl insisted on wearing dresses.  I remember one time when she was right around the age of this picture that she refused to leave the changing table until I let her wear her "dress shoes" (which were black leather t-strap).  She wrapped her arms around the rail of the changing table and screamed SHOES! at the top of her lungs until I changed her shoes.  She was a determined young lady.    Now, when I see Anna insisting on the pink pants and purple shirt, I have to laugh!  Gwen is sort of getting some pay back on this.  

I've been remembering a very favorite banner that was at a church I attended.  It was a "winter scene" with a house covered with snow.  There were pine trees and it was such a pretty scene.  But the words said "Wash me and I will be whiter than snow".  I remember thinking that this was an interesting phrase to put on this banner.  It just didn't seem to fit.   Many years later, I saw another banner with the same words.  However this banner had a scarred hand with blood drops falling onto a mountain of dark soil.  Yes, this was a much better visual for these words for me.  I love the picture of the red blood that Jesus shed on the cross for me - hitting all of those dark places in my heart.  And this amazing transformation happens - suddenly that sinful, dirty, shameful heart becomes white as snow.  What a miracle that is.  

As I look out at the quiet street, covered in layers of pure white snow, I am so thankful.  It is easy to say "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"  Advent is usually a time to contemplate the coming of the baby Jesus at Christmas.  But for me, seeing the snow, it is a stark reminder of the cross of Easter.  The truth is that every celebration of the Christmas stable should include the shadow of the cross.  The life of Jesus was destined to end at the cross.  Because we know the entire story, we can celebrate the beginning but also remember the ending.  I don't know about you, but this changes how I feel about so much of my holiday activities.  Suddenly, there is great joy and much thankfulness.

Thanks to a "winter storm warning"!

Jesus, thank you for your shed blood that covers over a multitude of sins.  Holy Spirit, help us all to remember that you see us whiter than snow - especially when we are tempted to be filled with shame and guilt.  Jesus, remind us to look over the stable and see the cross.  Jesus, I love you!  Amen

He is Risen! He is Risen, Indeed!

 We had a great Easter with our family.   I especially love that the kids personalities come through in this picture!  It reminded me of another Easter...... so here are a couple of throwback pictures of a long ago Easter in 1990!

Back to the present time which was much less "Nautical"!  We all went to church together.....Doug and Susie, Gwen and Tim and the kids and Ken and I.  We crowded into one row of chairs with the kids sharing our laps and the space between the chairs!  It was a wonderful service and we sang one of my favorite songs.  It does bring tears to my eyes, along with memories of my mom, but I still love it.  The song, "In Christ Alone" is a special one for Gwen and me, and my mom loved this song.  Here are the lyrics....

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Til on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Every time I hear this song I am transported back to the very first time I ever heard this song.  My mom and I always attended a conference held near her house, during my August visits.  There was one year that Gwen came to the opening worship service with my mom and I.  The conference was held in a large church that held several thousand people.  The place was filled to overflowing that night.  And this song was sung.  At the third verse........ 

                                                     There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

something happened that was just incredible.  At the line "up from the grave He rose again" there was a growing swell of people just shouting and clapping.  It filled the entire room!  The worship just stopped until the shouting and clapping had begun to quiet.  Finally, the song was finished and the worship continued.  But it was one of those holy, holy moments when you just know that something has happened.  The next day, Gwen was talking about this song....remembering that it was actually a modern hymn that told the entire Gospel message. She wanted to find a CD with song on it so that she could listen to it again and again.  We went to the Christian book store and began to look for this song.....and we did not know the name of the song!  My mom thought it was an impossible search without the title or the artist.  But Gwen found the song and we bought the CD!  It may seem like a little thing, but to my mom, Gwen finding that CD was a miracle.  She loved this song and as it became more popular, she would often tell me each time she heard it on the radio or when it was sung in her church.   I selected this song for my mom's memorial service and honoring my mom's wishes, Gwen sang it!  Gwen was pregnant with Zeke when my mom died.  But it seems so fitting that Zeke's first cry came on my mom's birthday, just a few weeks after her last breath.  Her legacy lives on.  

Yes, this song is an Easter song!  It has the message and the hope and joy that IS Easter, all in one song.  There is no guilt in life....and there is no fear in death.  Jesus commands our destiny!  What joyful, life giving words. I have a feeling that this "modern hymn" will be around for long, long time. 

We had a wonderful day being together.  There was the traditional egg hunt and lots of candy all around.  I loved seeing all 10 of us gathered around the table, eating together.  It reminded me of that great big banqueting table in heaven, and I was picturing all of those "saints that have gone on" around that table, feasting with Jesus.  It was a great ending to a glorious day.  He is risen! He is risen, indeed!  Alleluia!   

He is Risen Indeed! And we have hope!

 We had a very nice Easter.  I went up to Gwen and Tim's to see the kids do their Easter Egg hunt before we went to church together.  The girls looks so sweet in their coordinating dresses, hats and gloves (Anna refused to leave her hat on her head!).  Zeke was quite happy to celebrate in jeans and a polo shirt!  The kids had a successful egg hunt and then we managed to get their picture on the steps.

Oh how I love these cuties!  I love how their personalities show through in this picture.  I am imagining a picture at some point in the future when we recreate this shot.  I suspect that we will see exactly the same blast of personality from each of them.

Their church was FULL! And we were at one of three services!  It was an incredible service that highlighted.... we are alive because HE lives....AMEN!  There was a point in the service that brought tears to my eyes.  And I was not expecting it.  Pastor Dave mentioned the hope and assurance that everyone who has lost someone this year has because of Easter... because of Jesus' finished work.  I was missing Lucas even though I was remembering the HOPE, it was a bittersweet time.

After church we all met at Doug and Susie's for dinner.  Doug had smoked some amazing pork chops.  It was a wonderful meal.  Doug and Susie recently purchased a new camper and we all got a chance to see it - inside and out.  The kids loved going in and out.  And even Sammy and Kylie went inside! It will be good for Doug and Susie to get away and go camping without the worry of weather and bugs!  They already have several trips in the works.  Yes, it is good to be together.  Together we are going on, yet we are all missing Lucas.  And even in the hope, and the knowing that he is safe with Jesus, we are missing him.

Today as I was watching Zeke and Anna play, I was thinking how fast they have grown up.  I know that it is a common feeling.  Watching Anna walking around (actually toddling around...she is still quite wobbly) and listening to Zeke tell long and detailed stories just make this so clear.  Today Anna was a bit under the weather with a low grade fever and a bit of a cough.  But she was still quite happy playing.  And when you are child number 4 in your family, you are quite able to participate in things way beyond your age.....such as this.....

Not just ONE hockey stick would do....no Anna needed to have two sticks.  It amazes me how determined she is.  She will certainly be a force to be reckoned with.  I have no doubt that she will hold her own in the years ahead.  I can't wait to see how her personality develops!  

Easter is a season of new life and looking at the full life that we have because of Jesus.  So it is difficult to balance the grief and the missing with the growth and new accomplishments in our family.  The center of that balance is HOPE.  I know that I have said this over and over on this blog, but I don't know how our family would have gotten through this awful time if it were not for Jesus. 

I have been thinking a bit about my last blog and the challenge to talk about Jesus every day.  After Easter it seems even more important.  I feel as if it is imperative that others understand the hope, the joy, and the assurance that is yours when you understand who Jesus is and what he has done for us. I know that I will need some of Anna's determination and Zeke's ability to share an important story to make this happen.  How blessed I am to have these little ones to encourage me!  

Jesus, Thank you for family and times to be together.  Thank you for the seasons that remind us that spring always follows winter.  Holy Spirit continue to pour out hope and give us all the ability to share not only your story Jesus, but our own testimonies!  Thank you for determination and strength that only come from you.  Amen

Spring (and Sunday) is on the way!

So after some warmer weather today, Ken and I noticed these buds on our tree.  We are hopeful that this year we will have a blast of those white blossoms in a few weeks.  Last year, sadly, the tree did not fully bloom.  We treated it (for some kind of fungus) last year in the hope that it would stay healthy and happy this year.  So fingers crossed, there will be pictures in the future!  Spring is on its way! And so is Sunday!  Yes, I am looking forward to Easter.

It seemed like no matter where we drove today there was an Easter Egg Hunt.  As I was sitting in the car waiting for Ken to take some pictures at the Morton Arboretum, I got to thinking about this.  The first thing that came into my mind was the dream that is really the beginning of my testimony.  The dream happened when I was around 4 years old.  I was walking with Jesus in an amazing garden with beautiful flowers and trees.  Jesus was telling me all about who he was and what he had done for all of us on the cross.  He looked right in my eyes and told me "Easter is not about candy and the bunny, it is about ME and the new life that anyone who believes in me will have".  He went on to tell me that I should tell everyone about this!  I should share what Easter is really all about.

To say that this changed my life is an understatement.  I am not sure that I have yet to do what Jesus asked me to do!  I have not told everyone about this.  As a matter of fact, I would tell you that I don't feel like I am "called" to evangelism.  I have only begun to understand that what I heard in that dream is exactly the point of the Gospel message.  We are ALL charged with this task.... with the duty...to share the good news of Jesus and what he accomplished on the cross.  It is so easy to fall into the trap of believing that it is someone else's job to do the "telling".  And satan just loves to keep us in this place of keeping our mouths shut!  So not only do we not tell EVERYONE, we don't tell ANYONE! And it really doesn't matter if we think that we don't really have anyone we could tell.  The truth is we have more opportunities than we realize to spread the good news.

A long time ago, I was challenged to start every day with a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to put someone in my path that I could tell about Jesus.  I thought it was just a silly thing to do.  But I remember how surprised I was that this actually started happening!  I don't know why I stopped doing this.......But I plan to begin this again.  Starting tomorrow.  Will you join me?  And I would love to hear from you about some of those "God-incidents" that begin to happen and how you shared this story.

Yes, I think this is the wonder and the hope of Easter.  It is the anticipation of the JOY and the MIRACLE of this story.  So, for tonight I am going to rest in the memory of my dream from so long ago.  And I will begin my Easter tomorrow, with a prayer asking for a chance to share!

Jesus, thank you for reaching me in a dream even when I was just a little child.  Thank you for walking and talking with me and for looking in my eyes and holding my hand.  Holy Spirit, keep bringing us all the encounters with people that can change their life.  Thank you for springtime and the promise of flowers and buds on trees bursting forth and for Easter.  Amen

Easter recap....

We had a simply wonderful Easter!  Just love these little sweeties.  Notice the hats, the gloves, the jewelry. the vest, the tie.  Yes, this is one of the best things about Easter.  I guess I am to blame for this, since Gwen was saying that she remembers always having a hat and gloves for Easter. I am responsible for the girls matching dresses.  I just love finding these and I figure we only have a few years until they refuse to wear them! 

We were all together at Gwen and Tim's yesterday and having a great time just sitting around and talking.  Gwen and Doug started talking about what they remembered about Easters from their childhood.  Doug said he only really remembered the year that he got a fishing pole (this is really no surprise since that boy loves to fish!).    Gwen was recounting the hat and gloves that she had most Easters.  This is the photo proof of that from 1984 when Doug was just 2 and Gwen was almost 5. 

This got me thinking about one Easter that I remember. I believe it was 1962 (it could have been a year or two later, I am really not sure).    I had gone with my mom and dad and brother Greg to visit my sister Karen and her family and celebrate Easter in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  While I was still young enough to really wait for that Easter basket, my brother should have been beyond the basket stage.  But, to keep the peace and humor Greg, he was getting a candy filled basket also.  In my family we always had to find the basket that had been hidden somewhere in the house.  We never hid eggs or did an egg hunt.  I remember that I found my basket quite quickly in a sort of "window box" that was on the stairwell of their house.  I was so delighted.  However, Greg could not find his basket.  He looked and looked and as time went on, got more and more upset.  My favorite memory of this day is my mom and sister Karen sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, just laughing.  The funny thing was, they were watching the clock very closely!  They needed Greg to find that basket that was hidden in the oven so that Karen could start the Easter ham!  I think that they finally gave him so many hints that he found it.   My mom always laughed about this whenever we talked about Easter.  I love thinking about Karen and Mom having coffee around the kitchen table, laughing and talking.  

Our day yesterday began with an amazing worship service at Gwen and Tim's church.  During the service the pastor talked about church being a place that welcomes anyone and everyone comes exactly as they are.  Of course, he shared that Jesus is the answer to every problem and situation that we might have.   During the final song, people from the congregation went to the front of the sanctuary holding signs that represented many common situations -  divorce, cancer, depression, anxiety, illness, worry, hopelessness, fear, pain, addiction - among other things (this is just a sample of things I remember seeing).  During the song, they turned their signs over to reveal things like HOPE, RECOVERY, FAITH, PEACE, HEALTH!  It was such a visual reminder of what all of us have gained because of the cross and the resurrection.  I loved this!   Everyone could look at those signs and look into their own life and see what Jesus has done for them.   It was wonderful.   Thank you Jesus!

I am so grateful that Easter fell right in the middle of this difficult month for me.  I love that there is this reminder for me that Jesus is ALIVE and because of His great love for us all, we can celebrate in the midst of loss. What an amazing gift of life and love. 

Jesus, thank you for Easter, for resurrection, for joy and love and life!   Thank you for children and grand children and smiles and laughing and fun.   Thank you for 75 degrees and sunshine and the bursting forth of springtime.   Holy Spirit, remind all of us what you have done in our lives. Thank you for loving us and redeeming us.  Amen

Remembering my dad on this Resurrection Eve

Twenty nine years ago, April 19th was after Easter.  I remember it well.  On Easter Sunday (which was April 7) my dad had a stroke and ended up in ICU.  My mom called me very early to tell me that they had rushed him to the hospital during the night.   I remember that I shared it with the Pastor and asked him to pray.   1985 had been a challenging year for us.   Doug had been in the hospital most of January and February, culminating with having his kidney removed.  Just after recovering from that surgery, he caught chicken pox (from Gwen).  I had missed lots of work and now I needed to go to Minnesota to see my dad.   So, I planned a last minute weekend trip, by myself, flying up to be with my mom and visit my dad.  During all the three years of my dads illness and dialysis, my mom never expected me to come and visit.  It was the same time that Doug was so sick and she knew that I couldn't leave him.  So, when she said that I needed to come, I knew I needed to go.   I left two unhappy, sick (scratchy) kids with Ken and made the trip.  I am glad that I did.  I visited on the 13th and 14th and flew home on the 15th.  My dad died on April 19.  My dad had not really responded to anyone much at all, yet when I talked to him, he immediately asked about Ken and the kids.  Everyone in the room was so surprised.   Later the doctor asked him if he wanted to stop his dialysis and he shook his head no.  But later that day they were unable to do the dialysis since his blood pressure kept dropping.  Even though his will to live was so strong, his body had just had enough.  

The picture above is from December of 1981, when I was pregnant with Doug.  My dad just loved Gwen.  He couldn't get over how verbal she was.  She was quite the talker and she loved to talk with her grandpa.  He loved to talk with her.  My dad, however,  was not very talkative about his faith, but I know that he believed in Jesus.   In the last years of his life, my parents were blessed with one of those special, amazing Pastors that really make a difference.   Pastor Bode drew my dad out and for the first time in his adult life, dad joined a Bible study.   Pastor Bode visited my dad almost daily in the hospital and was so supportive of my mom.  During his last visit with my dad, he read Psalm 121, my dad's very favorite Psalm.  And he reminded everyone at my dad's funeral, that we would see him again, and that he was celebrating with Jesus in heaven.  

I love that all I can think about tonight is the Resurrection!  Without Easter, we would not have that assurance that we had at dad's funeral.  What a wonderful gift!  I am so thankful for that faithful pastor who took the time to really get my dad to think about Jesus.  After years and years of working as a church secretary, I know that the Easter season is a very busy time for pastors and ALL church workers.   So I encourage you all to not only pray for your pastor, but also show you appreciation next week.   Make sure that they get their days off, and honor their time with their family.  Most importantly, share in the Resurrection celebration tomorrow!   He is risen!  He is risen, indeed!  Amen