No matter how you look at it, 45 years is a long time!

Yesterday was one of the "milestone" days for Ken and I.  It was our 45th Wedding Anniversary.  Normally, you only think about 25 and 50 as being BIG anniversaries.  But for me, somehow this feels like a note-worthy occasion.  It could be because this entire year sort of feels, well BIG to me.  Let's see, first Gwen turned 40.  That's a big deal.  Lia, our first grandchild, turns 13 in a couple of weeks.  Having a teenage grandchild seems impossible.  Last week in the mail I received my Medicare card.  Yes, in a couple of months I turn 65.  I guess that is all part of the reason why 45 seemed like an event.  

Ken had just turned 22 and I was only 19 when we got married. . That seems REALLY young to me now.  (Thinking about Lia being 13 and that would only be 6 years away for her.....yeah, that is a heart stopper).  I never lived away from home (with my parents) until after our wedding.  I did not go away to college.  I did not have my own apartment.  It wasn't that unusual in 1974.  I had several high school friends who got married the summer after we graduated.  I was two years out of high school.  I did not FEEL young at the time.  I remember my sister Karen talking to my mom and dad about me being really young to get married.  Mom and dad were not at all worried.  They loved Ken and felt we were a good match.  Apparently, they were correct. 

Ken and I spent the first five years of our marriage really having a good time.  We lived in three different apartments.  Had a whole bunch of friends.  We went to lots of parties. We bought and sold several cars and motorcycles.  Took several vacations.  And finally bought a house.  And, in sort of textbook style, also got a dog!  Then, a few months later, Gwen was born.  Three years after that, Doug came along. 

I have been a stay at home mom. I ran a home day care business.  I worked full time and part time.  I arranged to work school hours.  I transitioned  back to full time work when Gwen went to college.  And finally, after lots of years, I stopped working to be able to spend time with my grandchildren. 
I can honestly say each of these phases of my life has been a blessing.  Looking back, it is easy to see God's hand on each of my jobs.  There was flexibility when you would not expect it.  I had above average earnings during financially challenging times.  When the field I had been working took a nosedive (mortgage banking), God arranged for me to move into a totally different field and I became a church secretary.  Something I did for almost 20 years.  When that job was ending, Gwen suggested that I might like to be a nanny, since I loved working with children.  So my last five years of  paid work  and now being with my grandchildren are actually sort of a "back to the beginning" for me. My time with the kids is very much like being a stay at home mom.  Yes, I feel like I have come full circle.  And it is a wonderful, big circle, full of God's love and provision. 

I wouldn't be telling the truth if I didn't say that there were some tough moments in the last 45 years.  In our first 5 years, Ken worked second shift and I worked normal hours.  So we didn't really see each other as much as most newly married couples.  We also had several years that Ken traveled for his job.  During those years, he would often be gone for several weeks at a time.  And this also happened to be during the years I was working full time and the kids were young.  The first five years of Doug's life were also difficult since he had health issues which included multiple hospital stays.  Both Ken and I had job losses and transitions that certainly were not comfortable.  Standing with our family through the loss of our precious Lucas.  But through it all, we persevered. 

The Bible study I am currently working on has this thought as the main focus from Romans 5:3-5....
Suffering produces Perseverance, Perseverance produces character and Character produces Hope.

It wasn't until I was writing this blog that I realized just how well this fits my life!  Yes, those tough times were "suffered through" by both Ken and I.  We did "persevere" over and over.  And I can truly say that every marriage/family/sibling produces character as you learn to give and take.  And in the end there is hope.  Hope that looks ahead to more good years together.  Hope that sees God's plan and destiny unfold for Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie.  Hope that supports Lia, Ellie, Zeke, Anna, and Grace as they find their path.  Hope for more laughter, more fun, and even more additions to our family.  And most of all, the hope and assurance of heaven.  Yes, it has been a wonderful 45 years.

Jesus, thank you for your great provision for Ken and I.  Holy Spirit, remind us all of the truth of those Romans verses - especially during those times of suffering.  Pour out your grace and wisdom and strength so that we can hold on.  Help us to see your love and care and recognize your plan to grow and change us along the way.  Most of all, hold out your banner of hope over us.  Give us all a fresh infusion of hope.  Thank you for who you are Jesus.  Amen

Mothers Day.... from my current perspective

I have been thinking about this post for a couple of weeks.  With Mother's Day approaching, there has been a flood of commercials, store displays and floral reminders that mom's need to be thanked and/or appreciated on this one day.  I decided to begin this blog with pictures of my special babies that made me a mom.  Gwen was two months old in the first picture.  It was actually taken on July 4th and although you can't tell (because the picture was very faded by the time we scanned it) her outfit was blue with red trim.  Perfect for that day.  I also managed to miss blogging for her (gasp) 40th birthday last Saturday.  Somehow I feel as if I aged more than a few years myself on that day.  It is hard to not feel really old when you have a 40 year old!  The second picture is Doug at three months.  Again, really faded but Gwen actually picked out his outfit for the picture.  She loved the clown and I remember she was very specific that he should wear this because it was yellow and yellow was happy.  One thing is certain, I could not be more thankful for these two special people!  

I know that I am one of the "fortunate ones" - those moms that get to see their grown, adult children often.  As a matter of fact, I actually see both of my kids at least once a week.  I know that this is not the norm and I feel the blessing of watching my children parent their own children, up close and real.  I love the times when I get to watch from the sidelines (so to speak) as they deal with some small issue or discipline matter.  Most of all I love to watch them loving on their kids.  Seeing even the older kids climb onto Gwen's lap for a hug or wanting hugs and kisses as she is leaving the house for work can almost bring this grandma to tears.  And there is nothing sweeter than seeing your grown son cuddling with his toddler daughter and watching her run to give him hugs and kisses before he leaves for work.  These are my most cherished "presents" from my children.  And they are not just one day a year.  

For the last several years, I have had a message that I knew needed to be shared with others, through the medium of a book.  Actually, this blog was sort of the beginning of that calling to write in a more formal way.  I have a clear vision of exactly what the book will be, what needs to be included in that book, and the purpose of the book.  I haven't talked much about writing with many people.  I confess that the reason for my silence is mostly fear.  I fear well meaning advice or discouragement.  I fear hearing that it is impossible to accomplish this.  Gwen reminded me today that none of those things matter.  I have a message that I know needs to be shared, and I have a clear direction on how to share it (book form).  Nothing else matters.    I have started this project. and actually have a pretty good framework for the rest of the book.   If I had to sum up the purpose and/or message of this writing in one short sentence it would be........"Your prayers influence your future generations".  

On this mother's day, I am so thankful for my own mother.  I was blessed to have her advice, her love and her laughter for 56 years (she died just short of her 96th birthday).  On my last visit with her, she encouraged me to hold my grandchildren close.  She loved her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren with all of her heart.  And she prayed daily for all of them.  Her biggest fear was not being a "good mother" since her own mother had died when she was only two years old.  Her legacy - her family - are the evidence that she did not need to worry about this. She excelled at loving us all. 

And I am so thankful for my Grandmother, Nora, my mother's mother.  This photo is a blessing, the only photo of my mom with her mother.  Just look at the love on Nora's face for her little girl.  She knew, in this photo, that she was going to die.  She had already been sick before my mother was born.  Yet I am convinced that she prayed for my mom and her sisters.  For me and my siblings and even for my children and grandchildren.  

God had such an amazing plan for families.  He knew that each family tree would create branches and those branches would hold fruit filled with seeds to grow more family trees. Ken and I spent most of last weekend outside, soaking up the spring weather.  As we took a drive through an nearby Arboretum, I was thinking about God's plan for families revealed in nature.  There were so many little seedling trees scattered under the branches of the towering oaks, pines and birches.  And there were also the remains of the dead and dying trees, right along side of those new young ones.  It was so comforting and peaceful.  It was the affirmation that God's plan will not be stopped.  No matter what the circumstances, no matter what disaster befalls a family, not death or separation,  not rain storm or winter blizzard.  God's plan, his destiny would be seen.  His promises are true and He is faithful to complete his work.  

So there you have my thoughts on Mother's Day.  I receive the best gift I could ever get just being with my children, their spouses and their children.  And I know that my grandmother and my mother have had a direct influence on my life today.  So this "Hallmark Holiday" Sunday may pass by without any celebration at all in my house, but Monday I will be at Gwen's house and Tuesday I will be at Doug's house.  So my calendar is filled with lots of "Mothers Day" and "Grandma Day" and that is all I need!   

No matter what circumstance you are in, far from loved ones or as just beside you, no matter if your mother is no longer here, take a moment and appreciate God's great plan for you.  There is a purpose and a plan for your life that included your mother.  Make this Mother's Day about you and Jesus.  Thank Him for his great plan for your life that included your mother!  

Jesus, thank you for the love and care of a mother.  Holy Spirit, help us all to find your plan as we look around us in nature.  Give us eyes to see your love for us.  Thank you for our family tree and for all of that "great cloud of witnesses" that surrounds you.  Thank you Jesus for grafting us into your family!  Amen  

Easter followup....is spring finally here?

Just gotta love this picture of Ken and I with all of our wonderful grandchildren on Easter.  There is just something about these special times that makes my heart so happy!  I love that I can put the yearly Easter pictures side by side and watch the kids grow up.  The girls dresses had butterfly's - a perfect Easter symbol of resurrection.  We had a wonderful day together.  It was a sunny and warm day, perfect for an outdoor egg hunt.  A great dinner was followed up with a trip to the local playground.  Susie snapped this "selfie" of our entire group!

I love that Gracie and Ellie are wearing bunny ears headband from their Easter baskets and Zeke has on his sunglasses from his basket and so does Lia!. So much fun and so many wonderful memories to capture and hold on to. 

Taking the time to capture these moments is just what my current Bible Study is encouraging me to do!  The problem for me is so many memories and so little time to actually capture them in writing!
In just a couple of weeks since Easter we have had two snowstorm/ winter storm warnings.  What?? Doesn't it look like spring in these pictures?  Yep, but if you live in Chicago, the weather can turn on a dime.  And this year, it did.  Add to the snow, we have had days and days of rain that have led to major flooding. The temperatures have been mostly in the 40's.  None of this has helped it feel much like spring.  I have been telling Ken that I am going to put away my winter snow boots.  But he has cautioned me against doing so. Yesterday I finally decided to take a chance and put them in the back of the closet.  Hopefully, spring is finally here and there will be no more snow for us.  Because Spring has seemed so far off, I am capturing every little moment!  This week the rain finally ended and our tree began to bloom.

Our yard is filled with the heavenly aroma of apple blossoms.  Yesterday the tree was covered with bees.  There had to be hundreds on our tree.  I stood there for a moment and just appreciated nature and the provision that God had so artfully designed.  I could almost taste some of that honey!  Those bees are endangered and so needed to pollinate our food supply.  Yes, this was a little moment that I captured.

Another special moment in these last few days.  A trip to the Chicago Botanic Garden and so many wonderful blooms everywhere.  I especially loved this cascade of purple blooms (I failed to get the name).  They just look so happy to me - so hopeful.  Sitting in the garden, surrounded by the colorful flowers all around me, hearing the birds chirping, and the frogs singing their songs, it was possible to think that winter has past and the springtime has come.  Even as I typed those words, I was singing Dance with Me by Paul Wilbur.  You can hear those words around 2:15 in that song.  I love that older worship song.  It is a great reminder for us to take time to "dance" with Jesus and to reflect on the the hope and expectation we can all have when we realize the cold darkness we once lived in, those times of despair and heartache can be eased when we spend time getting close to Jesus.  I don't think it is an accident that Easter is a springtime celebration.  The resurrection of Jesus is the ultimate springtime event.  He put an end to our winter and brought us into His glorious springtime of new life.    I am so thankful to be recording these lovely moments right now so that I do not forget them!  Happy Spring!

Jesus, thank you for trees and flowers and buzzing bees and family fun moments. Holy Spirit, remind us all to keep track of the small things that bring us hope and love and faith.  Thank you Jesus, that you will say yes when I stop and ask for a dance.  Thank you Jesus for your love.  Amen