Yesterday was one of the "milestone" days for Ken and I. It was our 45th Wedding Anniversary. Normally, you only think about 25 and 50 as being BIG anniversaries. But for me, somehow this feels like a note-worthy occasion. It could be because this entire year sort of feels, well BIG to me. Let's see, first Gwen turned 40. That's a big deal. Lia, our first grandchild, turns 13 in a couple of weeks. Having a teenage grandchild seems impossible. Last week in the mail I received my Medicare card. Yes, in a couple of months I turn 65. I guess that is all part of the reason why 45 seemed like an event.
Ken had just turned 22 and I was only 19 when we got married. . That seems REALLY young to me now. (Thinking about Lia being 13 and that would only be 6 years away for her.....yeah, that is a heart stopper). I never lived away from home (with my parents) until after our wedding. I did not go away to college. I did not have my own apartment. It wasn't that unusual in 1974. I had several high school friends who got married the summer after we graduated. I was two years out of high school. I did not FEEL young at the time. I remember my sister Karen talking to my mom and dad about me being really young to get married. Mom and dad were not at all worried. They loved Ken and felt we were a good match. Apparently, they were correct.
Ken and I spent the first five years of our marriage really having a good time. We lived in three different apartments. Had a whole bunch of friends. We went to lots of parties. We bought and sold several cars and motorcycles. Took several vacations. And finally bought a house. And, in sort of textbook style, also got a dog! Then, a few months later, Gwen was born. Three years after that, Doug came along.
I have been a stay at home mom. I ran a home day care business. I worked full time and part time. I arranged to work school hours. I transitioned back to full time work when Gwen went to college. And finally, after lots of years, I stopped working to be able to spend time with my grandchildren.
I can honestly say each of these phases of my life has been a blessing. Looking back, it is easy to see God's hand on each of my jobs. There was flexibility when you would not expect it. I had above average earnings during financially challenging times. When the field I had been working took a nosedive (mortgage banking), God arranged for me to move into a totally different field and I became a church secretary. Something I did for almost 20 years. When that job was ending, Gwen suggested that I might like to be a nanny, since I loved working with children. So my last five years of paid work and now being with my grandchildren are actually sort of a "back to the beginning" for me. My time with the kids is very much like being a stay at home mom. Yes, I feel like I have come full circle. And it is a wonderful, big circle, full of God's love and provision.
I wouldn't be telling the truth if I didn't say that there were some tough moments in the last 45 years. In our first 5 years, Ken worked second shift and I worked normal hours. So we didn't really see each other as much as most newly married couples. We also had several years that Ken traveled for his job. During those years, he would often be gone for several weeks at a time. And this also happened to be during the years I was working full time and the kids were young. The first five years of Doug's life were also difficult since he had health issues which included multiple hospital stays. Both Ken and I had job losses and transitions that certainly were not comfortable. Standing with our family through the loss of our precious Lucas. But through it all, we persevered.
The Bible study I am currently working on has this thought as the main focus from Romans 5:3-5....
Suffering produces Perseverance, Perseverance produces character and Character produces Hope.
It wasn't until I was writing this blog that I realized just how well this fits my life! Yes, those tough times were "suffered through" by both Ken and I. We did "persevere" over and over. And I can truly say that every marriage/family/sibling produces character as you learn to give and take. And in the end there is hope. Hope that looks ahead to more good years together. Hope that sees God's plan and destiny unfold for Gwen and Tim and Doug and Susie. Hope that supports Lia, Ellie, Zeke, Anna, and Grace as they find their path. Hope for more laughter, more fun, and even more additions to our family. And most of all, the hope and assurance of heaven. Yes, it has been a wonderful 45 years.
Jesus, thank you for your great provision for Ken and I. Holy Spirit, remind us all of the truth of those Romans verses - especially during those times of suffering. Pour out your grace and wisdom and strength so that we can hold on. Help us to see your love and care and recognize your plan to grow and change us along the way. Most of all, hold out your banner of hope over us. Give us all a fresh infusion of hope. Thank you for who you are Jesus. Amen
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