Dance Recital Weekend - this year!

 Ths past weekend, I spent the day with Gwen watching the Dance Connection yearly recital.  So much thanks needs to go to Bridget Blake, the Director/Owner of this studio.  During Covid she has worked tirelessly to make dance something that the kids could depend on, even in the midst of quarentine.  She arranged zoom classes and figured out how to bring the kids safely back to the studio as soon as possible.  This is so much more than just a dance studio - it is a family.  This recital marked Lia's 12th  dance recital, Ellies sixth and Anna'a fourth. The one thing that was really not able to be practiced or planned was the weaather, and it was less than ideal!  Saturday was COLD, WINDY and RAINY!  The entire event was held outdoors in an open tent.  I felt so sorry for the dancers in their thin costumes, as Gwen and I sat huddled under two blankets wearing several layers of clothes and sweaters.  But the kids danced like it was 80 and sunny.  There was energy and grace along with precision and joy.  Of course there was also reluctance from the smallest dancers, to even go on the stage!  It just made your heart so full and was such a welcome normal event.  

Anna danced so well!  She had a jazz dance and a tap dance.  I am so amazed at how well these kids do, even the really little ones!  The dances are not easy and there are so many steps to remember.  She danced with so much confidence!

Ellie has had some years where she has chosen to not dance.  But recently, she has really liked Ballet and Lyrical dance.  She has done so well in both and also made so many great friends.  She is moving up next year to a new, harder level that will take lots of work.  But she is dedicated to keeping on in dance.

This only represents a portion of Lia's dances.  I really don't know how she remembers all of these complex dances.  She had a Tap, Lyrical, Jazz, Ballet, Pointe, Student Teacher, and 2 Spotlight dances!  Yes, that is 8 different dances.  It was the first time we have seen her dance "on Pointe" and it was breathtaking.  Both Gwen and I were teary watching her dance.  These 12 years of watching her dance seem to have passed in a flash.  Wasn't it only just a short time ago that she was in that front row of dancers in "Pre Ballet"?  

This was Lia's first dance recital costume.  Driving home, (with my car heater blasting to try to warm up), I was thinking about this very first recital. Ken and I went and Lia was so tired after doing two big dances in one day, she could hardly keep her eyes open. Ken had picked out a special "Penguin Pillow Pet" for her.  

It was so good to be able to walk to a shelf, and pull off a scrapbook from 2010 and find this picture. Certainly makes the time and effort to do these books worthwhile!  Ken was so proud to see Lia up on that big stage. There was a tired 3 almost 4 year old.  And now, there was a poised, talented, confident almost 15 year old!  Dance has strengthened her body, soul and spirit.  She has become close to girls that she has danced with for these 12 years.  She has looked up to and admired and wanted to be like the student teachers and teachers she has learned from.  The care and compassion that was shown to her as she grew and learned each new dance, she is now showing to those little ones that SHE student teaches.  Watching her almost float across the stage brought tears to my eyes.  As of right now, Lia is thinking that dance will be her college direction.  She is only just finishing her freshman year of high school, and that might change.  After this past weekend, that path seems quite likely.  

As I have been reflecting on watching my precious girls dance, there has been an important backdrop to this event.  I am so thankful that these girls are dancing filled with the love of Jesus in their hearts.  The time that they spend at dance is balanced by time learning and growing at church. Church is also home and family to them.  Before they were born, Jesus gave me a glimpse of His plans for each of them.  And it is so amazing to continue to pray for the fulfilment of these plans.  I see Lia as a leader of her peers, bringing so many to know the Lord.  Ellie has the heart of a warior - fighting for those she loves on her knees in prayer.  Anna will bring the kingdom of heaven to earth through a legacy of love.  Yes, I am so grateful that I get to walk along side of my children and grandchildren on this path into the future.  

Sometimes it is not easy to see Jesus at work today.  Things seem so dark and distant from what you read in the Bible.  All you need to do is find a way to surround yourself with the love, laughter and joy of a bunch of kids, dancing with all their might. Then, even with dark skies and rain falling and the wind whipping around you, the sun will come out in your heart.  I also encourage you to stop and ask Jesus to show you how to pray for those around you.  It might even be a coworker or a neighbor.  Or a child or grandchild or niece or nephew.  I remember once hearing this... "General prayers are answered generally.  But when you pray specific prayers your get specific answers".  

I missed telling Ken all about the dance recital.  But I was thankful to have that long ago memory of his love for Lia, shown through a penguin pillow.  

Jesus, help us all to look through the noise and darkness of our world today to find your love and your grace that is all around us.  Holy Spirit, guiard the hearts of our children and youth who face so many temtations today.  Thank you Jesus for giving creative ideas to business owners, to families, to so many during this pandemic.  Thank you for your protection and love.  Amen  

Remembering Ken on his Birthday and celebrating Zeke's Birthday!

 Friday would have been Ken's 69th Birthday and Doug suggested that we remember him with his very favorite barbeque - Uncle Bubs.  So Doug went on the rather long drive and picked up enough food to feed a small army.  I went to their house to spare Susie a car ride to my house (so close to baby due date!)  Grace was delighted to have dinner with me and we had fun remembering Grandpa.  It was such a beautiful evening that we ate outside.  

It was fun to hear Grace talk about Ken.  She has a few memories of him and Doug and Susie will continue to remind her all about her Grandpa.  She remembered him napping whenever we were together (which is accurate).  And she also remembered the time that Doug brought a "really big burger" for Grandpa and he ate the whole thing! This is also true and was actually the last really good meal that Ken ate.  I love Uncle Bubs so this was a real treat for me. Doug and Susie sent me home with enough food for several more meals.  It was a good way to remember Ken and to honor him on his birthday.  Ken loved to bring Dunkin Donuts to work on his birthday and always made sure to have plenty to go around.  I was trying to remember how many years he had done this, and thinking back, it was as long as I have known him!  Every place he worked, got donuts on his birthday.  I think I will need to purchase some Dunkin Donuts soon!

This is our families really busy time.  Between Gwen's birthday, Mother's Day, Ken's birthday and my Wedding Anniversary, we have added Zeke's birthday (which is actually also my mom's birthday) and Lia's birtday is on the 28th!  And very soon we will be adding, yet another birthday to these busy weeks.  I love being with the kids on their birthday and always try to find a special present for them. This year Zeke was requesting all things Fortnite.  All I know about Fortnite is that it is some kind of video game that includes needing "peels", all of which means nothing to me.  But I managed to find all Fortnite related items for Zeke, who turned 10 years old!  

And from his reaction to his presents, I did good and he was very happy. His presents included wireless gaming headphones, which I confess were more of a present for everyone else in the household who will not have to LISTEN to Fortnite anymore!  I actually celebrated with Zeke earlier in the week because the yearly Dance Recital fell on his actual birthday.  I knew that the day of the recital would be very busy so it was fun to spread out his celebration a little bit.  

It is sure interesting going through this grief process.  Most of the time, I don't feel like I am really in a grief process.  Many people asked me if I had a hard day on Ken's birthday.  For me, it isn't the big things (like Ken's birthday) but all of a sudden, some small thing will trigger a reaction for me.  If you haven't gone through the loss of someone close to you, this may seem strange to you.   Mostly I think that Ken's declining health gave me a long window of time to come to grips with how limited his time would be.  And because of that, I was in a very different place at his death.  I am much more aware now, of trying to be present in every day.  Finding gratefulness has helped to keep me grounded and also given me freedom to look ahead.  Coming out of the pandemic has been a breath of fresh air for me, as I feel as if some kind of normal is returning.  In a way, COVID has helped me transition to this new phase of my life since everything is different now for everyone!  Knowing that Jesus is in control helps me the most.  There is a real freedom from worry about the future when you know that our days are numbered by God.  Taking time everyday to read the Bible, to pray and to seek guidance for that day has brought peace and joy to me.  If I were to give advice to someone struggleing with loss or grief, my encouragement would be to draw close to Jesus.  If you don't know how to do that, or if it seems difficult because of your circumstances, just begin by telling Jesus!  Even the simplest prayer - "Jesus I want to know you" - will open the way.  When you ask, He will answer!  Trust me, you will be amazed at the way it happens.  Feel free to reach out to me if you want to know more!  

Jesus, thank you that you are ready to answer even that very simple prayer.  Holy Spirit, help us all to find our direction, our peace and our joy in drawing closer to Jesus.  Give us courage to admit that we might need help or guidance.  Give us wisdom to follow your plans each day.  Jesus free us from our pride that keeps us from being honest about our feelings.  Thank you for memories and birthdays!  Amen

Great family time and an old piece of mail makes me cry!

 

I had a great day yesterday as we had our last family get together before the arrival of Doug and Susie's new baby (due very soon).  The kids were happy to be together, as usual, and Doug grilled and smoked some good food.  Of course the meal ended with delicous cake and special cupcakes.  I took home a treat of chocolate covered strawberrys, which were wonderful.  Tim was missed, having stayed home, working on projects that really need to be finished.  With their very busy schedule, he needs every moment of the weekend to complete these projects.  I can't help but reflect on how special these times together are, with the COVID pandemic winding down.  We will never take for granted being able to spend time together.  It is always bittersweet missing Ken during these get togethers.  

Today is Mothers Day and we certainly celebrated that yesterday.  I was sharing with the kids, that I had found a letter during some cleaning, that had made me cry!  It was certainly a timely find.  It was a letter Gwen mailed to me from college in 1998.  It was early in her Sophmore year, and the letter was filled with all the interesting stories about her friends and excatly what they were going to do the following weekend.  She talked about some of her classes and her job at the campus day care center.  

Just ordinary stuff for sure.  But the letter ended with this paragraph and it had me in tears......

What a precious Mothers Day gift that Gwen sent me twenty two and a half years ago.  She would not have had any idea just how much this would mean to me, so far off in the future.  It is a reminder that we should  not stop sending those hand written notes!  You just never know how much joy will come at unexpected times.  

The time just seems to be flying by.  I got through April well,  usually a month that causes me to feel a bit down.  My mom, dad, sister, mother-in-law, father-in-law, and grandmother all died in April.  As a matter of fact, in April 2020, I was actually sort of holding my breath, fearing Ken having a health crisis.  But the month passed without incident.  At times it seems like Ken has been gone for a very long time, but at other times, it feels very new.  I am incredibly grateful for my friends and family that have all been watching over me.  I have been making an effort to get out, to meet new people and continue to process this new season of my life.  Waiting for a new baby in the family is certainly a plus!  I have been so very blessed.  It seems at every turn there is evidence of Jesus watching over me.  Finding the letter from Gwen on Mothers Day weekend, is just an example.  God knows exactly what we need, even more than we do.  If there is someone who has come to your mind, but you just haven't reached out to them, I encourage you to do so!  And write those cards, send those small notes along with making that phone call.  Isn't God just amazing?  I am so thankful.  

Jesus, thank you for putting that letter into my hands at the exact right time.  Holy Spirit, remind us all to answer those small nudges that you give us to reach out to those around us.  Jesus, give us courage and boldness to share our faith with others. Thank you for the blessing of mothers.  Amen