Savoring the present day while remembering the past....

 The past couple of days, I got to spend some one on one time with Anna.  It was the Spring Retreat at church so Gwen, Tim and Lia, Ellie and Zeke were gone.  This gave Anna and I some special time together.  It was actually the last Spring Retreat we will have since next year Anna will be going also!  One of the "must do" items on the list of our time together is always breakfast out at a cafe.  This year we picked The Brunch Cafe.  Anna was especially glad to be able to get Chicken and Fries for breakfast since she prefers this over typical breakfast food.  It was the weekend for dance pictures, so I got to see her in most of her costumes for the upcoming dance recital.  

She practiced her dances for me and I am always amazed at how these kids can memorize so many dances with complicated routines for years and years!  I can't even begin to count how many Lia has memorized with 15 years of dance recitals!  I can't wait for the actual recital day, when Anna will be in 4 dances, Ellie will be in 6 dances and Lia will be in 7 dances.  For the first time ever, all three girls will be in one of those dances together!  Such a fun way to end Lia's dance time at Dance Connection before she leaves for college in the fall.  

April is always a somewhat melancholy month for me, since it has been a month of loss for me.  My mom, dad, grandmother, and sister all died during April.  In fact, yesterday marked 107 years since my grandmother died.  For the last several years, I have been writing a book in which my grandmother, Nora is a central character.  

This is my Grandmother, Nora Larson Toensing in 1912.  The interesting thing about my book is that has to be labeled as "Fiction based on Fact" since most of the details of Nora's life are not know to me.  She was my mother's mother and she died in 1917 when my mom was not yet two years old.  Things were very different in the early 1900's.  When someone died, life went on and you didn't really talk much about them.  This was especially true for my mom's very stoic German father.  So my mom spent her life wondering about her own mother and wishing to have known her and more about her life.  In my mom's later years she would often say, "I can't wait to get to heaven to finally meet my mother."  I can't explain the deep connection I feel to Nora, but it is very real.  The very limited facts we have about her early life come from a letter my mom received when I was in high school.  I had begged my mom to write to her one surviving aunt and ask her about her mother.  So my mom listened to me and we received a handwritten letter from one of that aunt's daughters.  Aunt Effie was bedridden so she told her daughter everything she could remember about Nora.  That letter is the "Facts" that I have about Nora. Since beginning to write, I have discovered that deep spiritual ties can exist that cross the generations.  I am convinced that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I have learned who my grandmother was.  

This is Arnold and Nora Toensing on their wedding day in 1908.  My grandfather died when I was two years old and I don't really have memories of him!   Yet, after putting words on a pages of a document, I feel as if I know these two people.  Genetics and DNA are very unusual things.  After my recent DNA discovery I know this in a very real way.  Watching my own grandchildren, I can "see" just how connected they are to this long ago couple. I'm not sure if it is just my eyes playing tricks on me, but I can sure see the resemblance of Anna to Nora.  It makes sense, Anna looks like Gwen.  Gwen looks like me and I look like my mom. My mom was told often that she looked like her mother, Nora.  So it follows that this might be true.   Lia is actually named after Nora.  Her middle name is Nora.  And Lia has so many characteristics of my mom.  So that connection is obvious.   I am praying that the words I have written in my book will further the connection all of my grandchildren have to Arnold and Nora and their story.  It is an amazing love story and a story of sowing a spiritual heritage into future generations.  Writing about their story here, gives me a push to finish writing this book!  It is a push that I needed to continue writing, even when it has become difficult.  Thank you Jesus for prompting me to even write this today.  It seems that this blog is for ME more than those of you who may read it!  Isn't it amazing how Jesus works?  

Thank you Jesus for those times that you use dates and memories and even our journals or blogs to show us exactly how you are working in our life.  Holy Spirit, thank you for guiding us every day and reminding us that you have plans and purposes for each of us.  Thank you for helping us to stay present each day, while giving us wisdom about our pasts and boldness to walk into the future with you.  Thank you for fun times together with family.  Amen