On Monday I came home to a box on my porch. This was a surprise since I knew that I had not ordered anything. And what a surprise it was. My niece Staci had sent me some precious items that were discovered while clearing my sister Julie's home after her death. Sometimes when you give a gift you never know the impact that it might have. This surprise box included a small gift I sent my sister for Christmas in 2007.
I had no memory of sending Julie this little book. At our family gathering after Julie's funeral, my niece mentioned remembering a small book that I had gifted to Julie one Christmas. This was a mystery to me because my sister and I did not exchange presents. It was an important gift for Julie that year, and she was very emotional on receiving it. Now, several weeks later, Staci discovered this book among Julie's treasures and wanted me to have it. As soon as I saw the date, I realized why this book might have been so special to Julie. Our sister Karen had suddenly passed away in April of 2007. It was a shocking loss for all of us. So this gift, from one sister to another, was extra special for sure. Both of us were grieving and this had touched Julie in her grief. I have no idea why I sent Julie this small book. This is one of those times that I am so grateful that I followed the prompting of the Spirit to gift this book. It is an example of getting a glimpse of the power of a small thing.
The second thing that was contained in my "surprise" box was this family picture tree. I actually made this for my mom. The pictures on the first side of the frame were from my parents 25th wedding anniversary. The pictures on the reverse side were from a family picture that Karen had arranged when we all gathered for my niece's wedding. My mom loved this unique display and it was always displayed in her living room. I am very thankful that Julie saved this item when she was helping to clear my mom's apartment when she died. And now, it is back with me. And I am grateful.
This whole grief journey is just that..... a journey. You just never know when you might have a sudden turn, a stopover or even a long delay. I was certainly at a different point when my sister Karen died. I had already lost my dad, and I had never really thought about my grief. Because my mom was still alive when Karen died, I was very concerned about her and didn't work through my own grief around her death. When my mom died in 2011, it was the beginning of my grief work. During that time, I learned that I had buried many of my feelings about losing my dad. Karen's sudden death had left me considering my own mortality in ways that I had never done. And I felt the loss of my mom so deeply, even though she had lived a very long life (she was 95, almost 96 when she died). I was getting older myself. Losing my grandson Lucas in 2014 was devastating for our entire family. Jump ahead to where I am currently. In the last 18 months, I have lost my husband (in September, 2020) and then in January, 2022, my last sister died. And I am even older! Today I am so much more able to acknowledge those moments of grief and have ways to work through them. I am thankful to have many caring friends and my family around me. I have lots of people willing to listen and pray with me when I hit those rough spots. Moreover, I have been able to find joy and peace. Along with that, I am excited about the future. Death is surely a part of life and I know I am not alone in dealing with losses. Coming into the Easter season we can be filled with the assurance of Jesus' defeat of the grave!
So today I am loving have these precious memories. Additionally my nieces gifted me a memorial necklace that includes my sisters thumbprint. I am feeling so blessed and so thankful. I will be more aware of that prompt to send that card, buy that small gift, make that phone call. You just never know that lasting impact of a small gesture. Take my lead and do that small thing. It just may come back to you as blessing in the future.
Jesus, thank you for your love and care, even when we are in times of grief and loss. Holy Spirit, keep us aware of those promptings that might seem like such a small thing at the time. Thank you for bringing memories back to me. Jesus remind us all that you have defeated death for us. Help all who grieve find support and guidance from those around them. Thank you Jesus for your love. Amen
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