A Plot Twist I never saw coming......

 These are the earliest pictures I have of me and my family that include my dad.  I am sure that I have shared them on this blog at some point.  Just for background -  I am the youngest in these pictures.  The top picture is from Christmas of 1955 (I was about 16 months old) and the bottom picture is from the summer of 1957.  As you can see by the bottom picture, my dad was the photographer, and seeing that I am child number five, that might explain why these are the only two pictures I have that include my dad. 

Let me tell you a little story.  In total truth telling that I promised from the time I began this blog, a story that I never knew I would need to share.  

As most of you know, Ken was adopted as an infant.  When Doug was having so many health issues, I began to ask questions about his genetic health.  Ken himself had a very "unique" set of health issues as a baby/toddler that were never explained.  So I asked about getting any information about his birth family.  \He and I were told several different stories about the reasons for his surrender as a newborn.   Ken was just not interested in spending any time finding out about his birth family.  Some years later (2009) I convinced Ken to do an Ancestry DNA test to see if there were any obvious connections.  After some months of prodding, he finally agreed to the test - as long as I did a test as well.  So I did.

When the results were received, Ken had a couple of lst cousin matches.  We contacted them, but saddly, they were also looking for information since they were adopted!  Ken just laughed this off and said - well I guess I am not supposed to know!   

My DNA was also not remarkable.  I could pretty much identify all of my "close" relatives, who were on my mom's side of the family.   I did think it was somewhat odd that I didn't have any close matches to my MANY cousins on my dad's side of the family.  However at this point, DNA was really new.  And there was a cost to getting this done.  So I didn't really think much about it.  The only surprise in my "Heritage" was that I was very little German and my mom was 1/2 German and 1/2 Norwegian!  Otherwise I was Swedish and Norwegian - which I expected!   In 2015 my sister Julie did a test.  I actually hadn't been looking at my Ancestry account very much, and had missed that she had matched to me.    In looking at our results, it seemed really odd that our match was not higher than it was.  As a matter of fact, Ancestry just called us "close relatives".  Julie and I kind of joked about this, and pretty much forgot about it.  As the years went by and the DNA science improved, there were constant changes to the Ancestry site.  They added a percentage of match number to each DNA match on your account.  Julie and I only shared 17% DNA.  

Here is where the plot twist begins.  In my mind, I questioned if Julie may have had another biological father.  She was born exactly nine months after dad returned from WWII.  Plus, she had a very unusual genetic health condition that none of the rest of our siblings had.  I never discussed this with Julie at all and, she passed away in 2022.  After her death I discovered that she had also done a 23 and Me DNA test and had matched to my sister Karen's children.  Apparently this was not the right time for me to fully understand what this all would mean for me.  

Around the this time, I also made contact with a distant cousin on my dad's side of the family who I had not known much about.  He actually lives very close to me, and was willing to share an updated and very complete family tree for my dad and his family.   He had inherited pictures, letters and documents from Sweden that included many family photos from my dad's family.  It was so fun to find out about our connection and to talk about my dad's family.  The story of my dad's parents coming to the United States as Indentured Servants had always fascinated me.  Dave and his wife Carolyn had visited Sweden.  

Somewhere around this time (think 2020 Covid isolation), I decided to complete a more detailed family tree on Ancestry.  Off an on after that time, I would sign on to Ancestry to see if there was anything new happening.  Ancestry began to mark your matches to assign them to either maternal or paternal DNA.  It is truly amazing that they can now tell by your DNA how you are related to someone else.  Initally they were asking you if you knew the person you matched with, and also whether it was a maternal side or paternal side match.    At first I really didn't notice anything unusual with the designations - except for my sister Julie.  I would mark that we were related on BOTH sides and they would send me a notice to correct this error.  They would change it to maternal match.  

Then, in late April, I actually received a phone call from Ancestry DNA.  This very kind women asked me about my match to Julene Anderson.  I told her it was my sister!  She very calmly then told me that there was a question on my family tree (which I had made public so it was accessible by anyone).  I had a very detailed family tree going back 5 generations for Harry Alfred Johnson on my DNA.  However, I had 18,515 PATERNAL DNA matches and NONE of them matched to my paternal family tree.  

Yep - there is the plot twist.  My dad is not my biological father.  

This was a shock on so many levels.  How I wished I was not 68 years old and the bulk of my relatives who I could talk to about this were already dead!   I was sad for Gwen and Doug who had only thought they knew 50% of their heritage, now only knew 25%!  I was extremely close to my mom and spent so much time with her in the last years of her life.  How could I make sense of this?  And what should I do about this now?

There was a pretty evenly divided response when I told close relatives this news.  One response was - "So what?  It's really not that big of deal".  The second response was "What are you going to do to find your biological father and family."   The first camp of people felt that I had a family that had raised me and I grew up knowing - so why should this change anything.  The second group of people understood that I might need to know the truth of my heritage - especially who my father was.    It took a while for the dust to settle and my mind to clear.  Within a short time, I knew that I would have to do my best to figure out who my biological father was and what relatives might be out there.  I also came to the stark realization that I might never know.  And I knew that I would then have to just accept the not knowing.  

This is my story, and I am allowed to tell this story.  Some people might question why I am telling this story so openly.  There are repercussions for sure.  There are all of my extended family (some of whom are reading these words here) who will be shocked at this news.  I also face having another family who might very well NOT want to know that I even exist.  Shortly after my conversation with Ancestry, I messaged all of my close paternal relatives and asked them to contact me.   I did a bit of looking on Social Media to see if I could find them and located one 2nd cousin on Facebook.  I messaged her and we had a brief exchange that ended when I asked if she had any relatives that had lived in South Dakota in the early 1950's.  Her answer was "possibly".  And then she blocked me.  

It has been a long couple of months. I will tell you that I have discovered who my father was and I do have a paternal  1/2 sibling.  Again, because I am almost 69 years old, most are already deceased.  I have reached out again to various relatives through the DNA sites, but as of now,  I have had no response.   The interesting thing, part of the reason I didn't detect this at an earlier stage, is that my biological dad's heritage is Swedish and a tiny bit Danish.  So nothing looked amiss on my initial results.  

Where do I go from here?  That is a very good question.  In total truth telling - I really don't know.  What I have found is that there is an VERY LARGE online group of people who received shocking news after a DNA test.  Some found children they didn't know about.  Some found that their parents or grandparents were not DNA related.  Many found 1/2 siblings they didn't know about.  It is a very big crowd and the numbers are growing daily.  As DNA science is advancing and getting even more exact, I am sure that there will be more.  

I have been in the process of writing a book about my mother's family and the Spiritual Heritage from that line.  I know that this revelation has come for a reason at this time.  For many years I have used the phrase "what is revealed, can be healed" and it applies to this situation for sure!  Jesus has wanted me to have this information so that I can process it.  The truth is always better than a lie.  As always, I have made a commitment to share the truth on this blog, and I will continue to do that.  Watch for updates as this new chapter in my life unfolds! 

I am very aware that I will never know the "whole story" of my birth.  But I also know that God had a plan and purpose for my life that began before I was born.  I was created for a specific purpose and given the exact gifts and talents that I would need to fulfill that destiny.  I know that Jesus has always loved me and cares for me, in all circumstances.   Even this "plot twist".  

Jesus, thank you for your presence that has allowed me to weather the storm of revelation that has come my way.  Holy Spirit, thank you for reminding me that I am loved and cared for.   Thank you for providing the wisdom and knowledge that are needed to walk through this situation.  Jesus, keep the many others in a similar place in your love and care.  Help them to know your destiny for them that has never changed.  Thank you for giving wisdom and knowledge to advance science in this day.  Amen